Littlegrandma

[Littlegrandma]

Thanks Frogie 

The anxiety is better. Now an overwhelming fatigue. Still nauseous and all the other symptoms. Thanks for asking. 

  I just put my little one down for a late nap. Now sitting on my tushy and listening to baylissa. 

 How are you doing? Headache better? I hope!   XX lg

[Frogie]

I'm so sorry you have the kiddos today going through all of this.

 

I took my vitamins this morning and I've been kinda nauseous all day. I googled Vitamin E and it can cause nausea. I wonder if that's it?

 

I have a slight headache, but nothing like it's been. I'm trying to stay off the iPad. I think that has a lot to do with it and my glasses. I have an appt on the 22nd, a week from Monday! I hope that's what it is.

 

I'm glad you are a little better. Take a nap while you can.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

[Littlegrandma]

Frogie

i had trouble with the vitamin E. 

never in the past but when I started it up again during WD, it made my head feel numb ( brain pressure) Could have been a coincidence because I’ve had this feeling since stopping it. I only took it a couple days. But that was the first time I felt it. 

 

Glad you’re doing better. The iPad and phones are definitely a strain on the eyes. My husband points that out to me all the time. But when housebound and down, it’s a good time killer and relaxing. I don’t go online when I’m feeling good enough to go out or do something more constructive. 

 

I wish i could nap. I feel like I could but I still have one child awake. I never sleep during the day, but it sure sounds like a good idea about now. It would probably rob me of the few hours I get at night though. 

 

Well, you’ll have an answer in another week and a half. That would be too easy if it was just your prescription. I’ve found nothing easy about this process, but fingers crossed for you.  If you need bifocals, I heard it just takes a little time to get used to them. 

 

xx Lg

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Frogie

i had trouble with the vitamin E. 

never in the past but when I started it up again during WD, it made my head feel numb ( brain pressure) Could have been a coincidence because I’ve had this feeling since stopping it. I only took it a couple days. But that was the first time I felt it. 

 

Glad you’re doing better. The iPad and phones are definitely a strain on the eyes. My husband points that out to me all the time. But when housebound and down, it’s a good time killer and relaxing. I don’t go online when I’m feeling good enough to go out or do something more constructive. 

 

I wish i could nap. I feel like I could but I still have one child awake. I never sleep during the day, but it sure sounds like a good idea about now. It would probably rob me of the few hours I get at night though. 

 

Well, you’ll have an answer in another week and a half. That would be too easy if it was just your prescription. I’ve found nothing easy about this process, but fingers crossed for you.  If you need bifocals, I heard it just takes a little time to get used to them. 

 

xx Lg

Hi LG:

 

Thanks for the info on the Vitamin E. I take it for my liver. It's infiltrated and fatty because of all the years on these meds (and my diet never helped). But I wonder if I took it at night if I would wake up nauseous in the morning. I think I might try it over the weekend. We aren't going anywhere. Football is on!

 

It would be so nice if it was my glasses causing my headaches and blurry vision. Being on the phone and iPad doesn't help. But like you said, when you are housebound, you have to do something. I do know that my prescription has never been right. I went to one of those places where you get your eyes checked and your glasses in an hour and ended up with 4 prescriptions! So I picked the 2 that were the best. So now I get to go to a professional place and have it done right. It's going to cost 10 times more, but if I can see without bluriness and headaches it's worth it. I wish I had things to do to get out of the house, but living in a little town puts a damper on things. I'll be home soon enough though.

 

Sorry you can't lay down. I understand though, with another grandchild you can't. I can't sleep during the day either. But if you could just lay down on the couch and relax maybe be it would help.

 

I hope you feel better tomorrow. Please let me know.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Littlegrandma]

2 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

Hi littlegrandma, I just wanted to stop by and send you some healing vibes. I am also withdrawing from lexapro. I just want to encourage you that things do get better although at the time it is hard to see that. I have made some huge cuts due to lack of knowledge, going from 10mg down to 5mg in one hit. That was when my problems began. This time last year I was on 4mg now I am down to 2mg. For me the big cuts have produced long term protracted withdrawal symptoms. My last cut in September is affecting me badly now. I think your method is much kinder and I will definitely be adopting that from now on. Don’t be in a rush to withdraw until you feel stable. Sometimes I just want to be off these meds so bad that I am tempted to cold turkey but thankfully sanity prevails. Right now I can’t imagine making any more cuts as I fear my central nervous system would not cope. I remind myself that slow and steady always wins the race. Much love to you ❤️

Awww thanks LRH

ive made many mistakes during this process over the last 7 mo.  So, my method sucks. But I’m learning. Glad you are too. I hate lexapro and want to get rid of it now. I guess I’m in a hurry because I have Ativan waiting in the wings. 

 Oh, the anxiety is just awful. It’s not our normal, is it? It feels chemical to me. I think I’ll be holding a long time now. I may be too afraid to ever cut again after this last one. 

Thanks for the healing vibes and the ❤️ Love. Badly needed today. And I send them to you in return. ❤️  Lg

[Littlegrandma]

6 hours ago, direstraits said:

so sorry you're suffering like this.

I've been waking at night too lately w/ some awful internal restlessness,etc....don't think it's as bad as what you're suffering but sometimes I'll get relief from taking a magnesium tablet.maybe you could try it.

hang in there.

ds   xxx

Thanks DS

im hanging in there. 

I think sleep would make this whole process a lot easier. 

Sorry you’re suffering it too. 

I take a mag tablet religiously in the morning but often forget it at night. Guess I have to set yet another alarm on my phone. 

 

xx Lg

[Downbutnotout]

I hope you’re feeling better.

[Littlegrandma]

11 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I hope you’re feeling better.

Hey D

i am doing a bit better. Headache and nausea have lessened. Anxiety still roaring. And good sleep still eludes me. But it’s only been 2 wks since taper. I’ve just got the blues so bad and the tears come from nowhere. But, it’s winter. Right? Me and winter have not been a good mix for quite a few years. I think part of that is the fact I don’t get out and go to work anymore. Kinda stuck in the house with the grandbabies when it’s so cold outside. 

 

How are are you doing? This site has been pretty quiet this weekend. I try not to spend too much time reading when my husband is home. 

 

I hope today finds you with less depression. Is your son still with you?

 

thanks for checking on me. xx Lg

[Downbutnotout]

I think it makes it more difficult when you don’t have a routine. How many grandchildren do you have? Is that a full time job? We did manage to see a movie. We went to see the one about Tonya Harding. He is leaving at 3:30. We’ve gotten out some.  It sounds like you do improve, and make strides. I’m glad you’re doing better. 

[Littlegrandma]

Thanks D

im glad you got out. How did you like that movie? We don’t go to the theater very often. I wait til my sons girlfriend buys them , then borrow. She’s a movie buff. My husband prefers watching sports. So I do puzzles, read, or color while he watches. 

 

I have 2 grandkids. They’re 5 yrs and 22 mo. I only watch them a few days a week. But I spend time with them and my daughter when she’s not working. 

 

You have any grandkids?

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

26 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Thanks D

im glad you got out. How did you like that movie? We don’t go to the theater very often. I wait til my sons girlfriend buys them , then borrow. She’s a movie buff. My husband prefers watching sports. So I do puzzles, read, or color while he watches. 

 

I have 2 grandkids. They’re 5 yrs and 22 mo. I only watch them a few days a week. But I spend time with them and my daughter when she’s not working. 

 

You have any grandkids?

 

 

I only have one. . He’s 4. He’s the only child on both sides.  I have 3 kids but my son  is married, and they are not having children. His wife is 43. He confirmed the no kids thing for me this week . My oldest daughter is  not married, and she’s 41. My grandson looks  exactly like my daughter, and my other three kids. They all look like my husband. It’s pretty funny. His other grandmother keeps insisting he looks like her son. If you’re doing all that, sounds like your functioning fairly well.  I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. .  I go out twice a week and play a game called majong. I am going to try to get out and work out today.  But it’s really cold. It’s freezing here.  I’m hoping for a window someday soon. 

[Littlegrandma]

1 minute ago, Downbutnotout said:

I only have one. . He’s 4. He’s the only child on both sides.  I have 3 kids but my son  is married, and they are not having children. His wife is 43. He confirmed the no kids thing for me this week . My oldest daughter is  not married, and she’s 41.He looks exactly like my daughter, and my other three kids. They all look like my husband. It’s pretty funny. His other grandmother keeps insisting he looks like her son. If you’re doing all that, sounds like your functioning. I go out twice a week and play a game called majong. I am going to try to get out and work out today. It’s freezing here. Where do you live? I know you told me, but I forgot. 

I live just west of the Chicago suburbs. The start of farming communities. But we’re not farmers. We do grow pumpkins. But my husband has a real job. Not that farming isn’t a real job. In fact, he’d rather be doing that at this point in his life. 

 

I was getting out more but only a few times since Xmas. I don’t see friends very often. I’m only comfortable right now with family. I don’t drive very often. So, someone has to go out of their way to pick me up. But all of my family, including Mom and brothers are no more than 10 mi from me.   

Is your grandson near you? Do you see him very often?  It’s difficult some days. But often a good distraction. My husband has had to use many vacation days to stay home to help me. Especially last summer when I tapered too fast and reinstated. It’s all a blur now. What a waste of time this all is. There’s so much I want to do!!!

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

On 1/12/2018 at 6:40 PM, Littlegrandma said:

Awww thanks LRH

ive made many mistakes during this process over the last 7 mo.  So, my method sucks. But I’m learning. Glad you are too. I hate lexapro and want to get rid of it now. I guess I’m in a hurry because I have Ativan waiting in the wings. 

 Oh, the anxiety is just awful. It’s not our normal, is it? It feels chemical to me. I think I’ll be holding a long time now. I may be too afraid to ever cut again after this last one. 

Thanks for the healing vibes and the ❤️ Love. Badly needed today. And I send them to you in return. ❤️  Lg

I’m here to tell you all that you’re both doing it the smart way. 

[Downbutnotout]

23 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

I live just west of the Chicago suburbs. The start of farming communities. But we’re not farmers. We do grow pumpkins. But my husband has a real job. Not that farming isn’t a real job. In fact, he’d rather be doing that at this point in his life. 

 

I was getting out more but only a few times since Xmas. I don’t see friends very often. I’m only comfortable right now with family. I don’t drive very often. So, someone has to go out of their way to pick me up. But all of my family, including Mom and brothers are no more than 10 mi from me.   

Is your grandson near you? Do you see him very often?  It’s difficult some days. But often a good distraction. My husband has had to use many vacation days to stay home to help me. Especially last summer when I tapered too fast and reinstated. It’s all a blur now. What a waste of time this all is. There’s so much I want to do!!!

 

 

I see my grandson at least once a week. But my problem is i have that emotional blunting thing. At least it looks like your moving in a positive direction, and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Isn’t that right? If so, you’re not wasting your time. I feel the same way. If I wasn’t in this situation, I’d be traveling right now. If only I could get my mind to do what I wanted it to do. But I’m hoping it will move forward with time. I am sleeping better,  and am not as anxious. Growing pumpkins sounds fun. Have you ever heard of the Circleville Pumpking show? It’s a big Ohio pumpkin show. 

[Frogie]

Hi LG:

 

Hopefully some of your symptoms have subsided and you are having a better day today.

 

I took the Vitamin E before bed last night and woke up nauseous. I'm going to stop taking it and see what happens.

 

We are just watching football and doing laundry.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Littlegrandma]

31 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I see my grandson at least once a week. But my problem is i have that emotional blunting thing. At least it looks like your moving in a positive direction, and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Isn’t that right? If so, you’re not wasting your time. I feel the same way. If I wasn’t in this situation, I’d be traveling right now. If only I could get my mind to do what I wanted it to do. But I’m hoping it will move forward with time. I am sleeping better,  and am not as anxious. 

I had emotional blunting the whole time on lexapro. Now, my mind races w/ the anxiety. Over-emotional. 

 No , I don’t see that light yet. I have flu like symptoms everyday. I just don’t feel well. The worse is the dp/dr. The foggy brain terrifies me. I sleep so little, I feel like a walking zombie. 

 

I was just on my hands and knees washing a small section of the floor and my tinnitus ramped up. Dang. Won’t do that again for awhile. 

 

Id be traveling also if not going through this. My husband still works but we had to put off a couple trips because of me. We go many weekends on the motorcycle in the summer-fall. Last year I could only make 2 day trips. I feel bad because this wd is affecting his life too. And all of my family. 

 

Do you follow Baylissa at all? Today’s inspiration had me in tears. Reading and listening to her has given me hope or assurance that this will end well, someday. 

[Littlegrandma]

15 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Hi LG:

 

Hopefully some of your symptoms have subsided and you are having a better day today.

 

I took the Vitamin E before bed last night and woke up nauseous. I'm going to stop taking it and see what happens.

 

We are just watching football and doing laundry.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Somehow I lost my reply to you. You’ll probably get this twice. 

I stopped writing to look up foods high in vit E. Spinach, almonds, avocado, sweet potatoes, pine nuts, I think broccoli. God, my memory is bad. 

This is where smoothies would come in handy. I keep pushing them on you, don’t i?  But I put baby spinach in mine and avocado, which I don’t like plain, but it’s good mixed with yogurt or fruit. 

 

I feel poopy but have also gotten some laundry done. Vacuumed and a few other small jobs. My husband is flipping between hockey and football. 

Sunday funday!!

 

hope the nausea has let up. Give it a couple days. If it doesn’t return, then assume it’s the vit E. 

xx Lg

 

[RealMe]

1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said:

There’s so much I want to do!!!

Hi Littlegrandma,

My husband is watching football too.  I'm trying to distract myself.  Your comment caught my eye.  I would love to hear about what you want to do if you feel like sharing!

Best wishes for healing and health,

RealMe

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Somehow I lost my reply to you. You’ll probably get this twice. 

I stopped writing to look up foods high in vit E. Spinach, almonds, avocado, sweet potatoes, pine nuts, I think broccoli. God, my memory is bad. 

This is where smoothies would come in handy. I keep pushing them on you, don’t i?  But I put baby spinach in mine and avocado, which I don’t like plain, but it’s good mixed with yogurt or fruit. 

 

I feel poopy but have also gotten some laundry done. Vacuumed and a few other small jobs. My husband is flipping between hockey and football. 

Sunday funday!!

 

hope the nausea has let up. Give it a couple days. If it doesn’t return, then assume it’s the vit E. 

xx Lg

 

I just talked to my fiancé and said we need to start juicing again. He said we need to start our diet. So he said go through the cookbooks we bought while he is at work this week. We were supposed to do this together, but as yucky as I feel, I guess I'll be doing it.

 

I'm going to get some veggies and fruit and make some smoothies. 

 

That's what I'm going to do. Stop the Vitamin E and see if my nausea goes away. Then I'll tell my dr next time I'm there.

 

I'm glad you had the energy to vacuum. I need to do that, but I at least got the laundry done.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx 

[Littlegrandma]

2 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Hi Littlegrandma,

My husband is watching football too.  I'm trying to distract myself.  Your comment caught my eye.  I would love to hear about what you want to do if you feel like sharing!

Best wishes for healing and health,

RealMe

Hi RealMe

i guess I just want my life back.

 

I want to take my grandkids to the arboretum to see the train display. 

Take my granddaughter to a movie

Go out for dinner

Go to Florida for my annual visit

Take my grandkids to Disney world

Take a walk along the river or through our favorite park

   ( Johnson’s Mound)

Sled with the kids

Play bingo with Lisa

Have my monthly dinners with high school friends

play poker with the girls

game night with my daughter and her husband

Shop with my mom

Take my mom to the theatre

Take my mom for a walk thru Mt St Mary park

Eat ice cream from Dairy Queen on our nightly drive while looking for deer

Go to the gym

Go for a bicycle ride

Motorcycle ride

Feel good

Laugh

 

and that last one just made me cry

 

What are your favorite things that you’re missing out on?  You know, RealMe, it won’t be forever. In the blink of an eye we will be living life again. And we will appreciate it so much—

all the things we, well at least me, took for granted. 

 

Hugs xx Lg

 

[Littlegrandma]

19 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

 

I'm going to get some veggies and fruit and make some smoothies. 

 

Do it!! You will feel so much better. And when you’re off these god forsaken drugs, you’ll be a healthy, fit specimen.   Ha

 

But I sure miss my chocolate and ice cream. 

[Downbutnotout]

1. I want to go to florida

2. i want to go to London to visit my daughter

3. I want to go out to eat and enjoy it

4. I want to enjoy my grandson and take him to the park again

5. I want to laugh, and cry

6. I want to sing and enjoy it

7. I want to listen to music

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Do it!! You will feel so much better. And when you’re off these god forsaken drugs, you’ll be a healthy, fit specimen.   Ha

 

But I sure miss my chocolate and ice cream. 

I will. Maybe I will start looking now.

 

I eat chocolate once in a while, but I'm not much of an ice cream person.

 

I don't know about being fit lol...

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Frogie]

5 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

1. I want to go to florida

2. i want to go to London to visit my daughter

3. I want to go out to eat and enjoy it

4. I want to enjoy my grandson and take him to the park again

5. I want to laugh, and cry

6. I want to sing and enjoy it

7. I want to listen to music

I just want to go home to my family and friends. 

I know I would feel better and heal better being home.

Instead I'm stuck in this place.

 

[Littlegrandma]

6 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

1. I want to go to florida

2. i want to go to London to visit my daughter

3. I want to go out to eat and enjoy it

4. I want to enjoy my grandson and take him to the park again

5. I want to laugh, and cry

6. I want to sing and enjoy it

7. I want to listen to music

We are cut out of the same mold. 

But when I sing, no one enjoys it. But in a perfect world, I could sing like Julie Andrews and dance like ?

 J-Lo.  Haha Maybe Fred Astaire. 

[Littlegrandma]

5 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I just want to go home to my family and friends. 

I know I would feel better and heal better being home.

Instead I'm stuck in this place.

 

Yes. Family is everything. But you have to make the most  of it, Frogie. You have your fiancé by your side. By the time you get home, you will be healed and your family will not have to see you suffer through this miserable time. 

But I agree wholeheartedly that you would heal faster if you were with them because your head and heart long for them.  

 Soon come, girlfriend. Hang on a little longer.     XX 

[Frogie]

4 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Yes. Family is everything. But you have to make the most  of it, Frogie. You have your fiancé by your side. By the time you get home, you will be healed and your family will not have to see you suffer through this miserable time. 

But I agree wholeheartedly that you would heal faster if you were with them because your head and heart long for them.  

 Soon come, girlfriend. Hang on a little longer.     XX 

I will still be tapering I'm afraid. I still have Xanax to go. Our wish is to be home by Christmas, that would be wonderful.

Tears are running down my face right now. I know my fiancé loves me, but I think sometimes he is just tired of me.

 

xx

[Littlegrandma]

17 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I will still be tapering I'm afraid. I still have Xanax to go. Our wish is to be home by Christmas, that would be wonderful.

Tears are running down my face right now. I know my fiancé loves me, but I think sometimes he is just tired of me.

 

xx

Oh sweetie. He’s just tired of this wd. 

When you’re home with your family, you won’t have so much together time. He will be sharing you with your other loved ones. 

 

When my my husband gets tired of me, he finds work to do at our daughters house. Rarely, but sometimes he will go to the bar. But, I don’t really think they’re tired of us. Just seeing us like this.....

suffering

[Downbutnotout]

44 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

We are cut out of the same mold. 

But when I sing, no one enjoys it. But in a perfect world, I could sing like Julie Andrews and dance like ?

 J-Lo.  Haha Maybe Fred Astaire. 

If we recover, we should meet. I like to do Zumba too. But, I don’t look great. My singing was okay. 

[Downbutnotout]

7 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Oh sweetie. He’s just tired of this wd. 

When you’re home with your family, you won’t have so much together time. He will be sharing you with your other loved ones. 

 

When my my husband gets tired of me, he finds work to do at our daughters house. Rarely, but sometimes he will go to the bar. But, I don’t really think they’re tired of us. Just seeing us like this.....

suffering

That’s good that you want to be with your family and friends and you know they will make you feel better. My son left and although I couldn’t feel his visit, I do feel bad a let down that he left. . So, that’s a good thing? 

[Littlegrandma]

6 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

That’s good that you want to be with your family and friends and you know they will make you feel better. My son left and although I couldn’t feel his visit, I do feel bad a let down that he left. . So, that’s a good thing? 

Yes. That’s a good thing. That’s progress. You have some feelings coming back. I think we just long for what we used to enjoy. My grandkids do make me “happy”, but not to the fullest extent. I love them to pieces but want to enjoy it so much more. When I was raising my kids, I felt like a kid myself. Had a blast. Now, some days I just go through the motions to make them happy. 

 

Did you make it to the to the gym today? I’ve been a lump. Not very productive. 

[Littlegrandma]

24 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

If we recover, we should meet. I like to do Zumba too. But, I don’t look great. My singing was okay. 

I love music and dance. I can’t carry a tune and I’m too self conscious about my dancing. I have dance parties with my grandkids though. They’re too young to know I suck. 

I love musicians. And if I could do anything in my life, I would love to perform. Of course I never stuck with any of the instruments I took up as a kid. But, oh, I wish I could dance. I sing  very loud when alone in the car with the windows rolled up tight. 

 

Yes. We will meet WHEN we recover.  What’s a good half way point? Maybe the east coast of Michigan. 

[Downbutnotout]

Yeah, Michigan. I know you will recover. Aren’t you glad I have so much faith in you. I do. !  No I didn’t. 

[Frogie]

30 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Oh sweetie. He’s just tired of this wd. 

When you’re home with your family, you won’t have so much together time. He will be sharing you with your other loved ones. 

 

When my my husband gets tired of me, he finds work to do at our daughters house. Rarely, but sometimes he will go to the bar. But, I don’t really think they’re tired of us. Just seeing us like this.....

suffering

I don't think he thinks I'm suffering. When I tell him I'm nauseous, like this morning he looked like he rolled his eyes (I'm sure he didn't), and then he will say hope you feel better. But never asks how I'm doing. 

 

His back is really acting up. He has sciatica and was in the hospital 3 years ago because he couldn't walk. I keep asking him if he needs anything, or if he's ok. I hope he's ok. He's on the couch, ice then heat then stretching. Watching football.

 

I just don't get that anymore from him. I am having a pity party today, so sorry!

 

One of the 2 bars we have in this town, burned down last weekend. They had really good bbq. We hope they are going to rebuild.

 

I'm glad you got your housework done. Maybe I'll do something tomorrow. Supposed to snow  and be cold. Not much snow, but at least some winter. Right now it's 50. By Friday it's supposed to be 64, no more winter. 

 

Can you tell me what you put in your smoothies again? Thanks!

 

Thanks for listening to me. Or sorry you had to listen to me.

 

Oh... I can't sing and I don't look anything like J Lo..  I look like the pillsburry dough boy, except a women lol... But love to country dance... 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

I love music and dance. I can’t carry a tune and I’m too self conscious about my dancing. I have dance parties with my grandkids though. They’re too young to know I suck. 

I love musicians. And if I could do anything in my life, I would love to perform. Of course I never stuck with any of the instruments I took up as a kid. But, oh, I wish I could dance. I sing  very loud when alone in the car with the windows rolled up tight. 

 

Yes. We will meet WHEN we recover.  What’s a good half way point? Maybe the east coast of Michigan. 

I want to meet too, would be awesome!

[Littlegrandma]

6 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Yeah, Michigan. I know you will recover. Aren’t you glad I have so much faith in you. I do. !  No I didn’t. 

We both need to keep the faith!

life is going to be beautiful