j1290: gets off the Wellbutrin and on with life!

[j1290]

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

You know how psych drugs make us feel numb and disconnected? Psychedelics make you feel open and connected. 

OOOOOOOooooooooh OK.   Sounds much more pleasant, for sure.   

[littlebird]

8 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Sounds much more pleasant, for sure. 

 

Also not for everyone! You gotta trust your gut if it says no. I've heard more about LSD therapy, but I always tell people considering trying that one, "If you would go through a portal that changes you forever, on every level, then go for it." Way different than earth-grown mushroom bbs.

[j1290]

DAY 51   sounds like a big number, that 51.   I started out really impatient to do my next cut and now I'm kinda scared LOL  I think I'm at WD normal, nothing too bumpy and no vivid dreams and whatnot.  My plan is to give it a few more weeks before starting the next leg down.   

[Thorin]

43 minutes ago, j1290 said:

DAY 51   sounds like a big number, that 51.   I started out really impatient to do my next cut and now I'm kinda scared LOL  I think I'm at WD normal, nothing too bumpy and no vivid dreams and whatnot.  My plan is to give it a few more weeks before starting the next leg down.   

Nah man. I’m on about day 210……. It’s hard to get going again though for sure. Glad you’re back to WDNormal man. You’re well on your way to zero!

[Fifree]

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

DAY 51   sounds like a big number, that 51. 

Hey you always planned to hold for a couple of months after 6 months solid tapering right? You’ve done amazingly to get where you are. Very glad you’re feeling WD normali.  And 100 mg is a nice round number to hold on for a while

[Go2zero]

23 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Hey you always planned to hold for a couple of months after 6 months solid tapering right? You’ve done amazingly to get where you are. Very glad you’re feeling WD normali.  And 100 mg is a nice round number to hold on for a while

Sounds as a great advice. You have done so good and fast. Real stability is so important before starting the area of lower dosages. Which may be somewhat trickier than the higher dosage regions.

 

By the way I am at day 64 of my hold now and keep postponing further tapering. Better adapt to reality than sticking to a plan, when symptoms or waves come.

[j1290]

52 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Nah man. I’m on about day 210……

Hey man, nothing wrong with that.  The guy I remember from then is 180 degrees from where you are today.   Time healed you, it'll heal me too.   

 

56 minutes ago, Thorin said:

It’s hard to get going again though for sure.

It's definitely a leap of faith, but for me the only way through is to do it.  It's satisfying every day to take less pills though, and I just got my brown bottles for @Fifree 's world-famous AD shooters!   They're going to be fun, I'm looking forward to it.   

 

26 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Hey you always planned to hold for a couple of months after 6 months solid tapering right?

 

 

27 minutes ago, Fifree said:

And 100 mg is a nice round number to hold on for a while

I did plan to hold at 6 months of tapering, so I stuck to that pretty well.   You're right, 100mg is a great place to hold at.  It's low enough that I'm able to hold with a little bit of comfort.    Unbelievable how strong these meds are even at levels some consider low.   

10 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

You have done so good and fast.

Thanks, go2!  

 

10 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

Real stability is so important before starting the area of lower dosages. Which may be somewhat trickier than the higher dosage regions.

I'm re-reading your signature and it looks like you've been very steady and meticulous with your reductions.  How did you know when you were going too fast?   When did you start to feel less of the effects of the drug?   I still have a brain fog and whatnot that I hope will lift one day.  I hear what you're saying, under 100mg is like doing a whole different taper.  I'll have to learn a new set of rules for how fast I can go.   I'm not trying to do the impossible.  

 

30 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

By the way I am at day 64 of my hold now and keep postponing further tapering. Better adapt to reality than sticking to a plan, when symptoms or waves come.

I agree, I think being flexible is the key to tapering, and a lot of other things, come think of it.   

[Thorin]

11 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Hey man, nothing wrong with that.  The guy I remember from then is 180 degrees from where you are today.   Time healed you, it'll heal me too.   

I’m much better and you will be too mate.

 

12 minutes ago, j1290 said:

It's definitely a leap of faith, but for me the only way through is to do it. 

Absolutely agree

 

12 minutes ago, j1290 said:

still have a brain fog and whatnot that I hope will lift one day.

It will. Mine absolutely is after being in a thick cloud for a long time.

[Go2zero]

3 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I'm re-reading your signature and it looks like you've been very steady and meticulous with your reductions.  How did you know when you were going too fast?

Feeling my body and experiencing my emotions. When symptoms are suddenly getting out of hand, I know I need to stabilise. I guess anyone has got his "favorite" symptoms that can act like a red flag. For me those symptoms are: serious changes in sleep pattern (insomnia), paresthesia or heavy migraine. And suididal ideation feelings and thoughts, or high anxiety levels.

 

Most other symptoms I have now and then are no real red flags for me. But again, these red flags may be different for anyone.

 

Do you have an idea what your red flag symptoms are? This is very useful to know or find out.

 

9 minutes ago, j1290 said:

When did you start to feel less of the effects of the drug?

I have the idea that I do not feel any effect of the drug since I am somewhat under 60 mg bupropion. The problem however is that I get EXTREME WD symptoms when I decrease the dosage even with 3%. And these symptoms may last for months then. I still hope that this effect will be less when I am completely away from the Prozac (which also is not going as easy as I hoped for..., but I will get there with the Prozac hopefully sometime this year).

 

13 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I'll have to learn a new set of rules for how fast I can go.   I'm not trying to do the impossible.  

The main thing I have learned, to listen to my body and emotions. Adapt (and accept) when needed. Go slow and controlled. Stabile as long as I feel is useful or needed. When doubting, I stay on hold. These are basically my own "rules"

[Fifree]

44 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I just got my brown bottles for @Fifree 's world-famous AD shooters

Hey I have to give credit for these to @Mamgu. And @littlebird named them.  I was just the lucky person at the intersection of their genius. 

 

1 hour ago, Go2zero said:

Better adapt to reality than sticking to a plan, when symptoms or waves come.

This is great @Onmyway  I’m writing it down and sticking it on the fridge. 

[j1290]

1 hour ago, Go2zero said:

Do you have an idea what your red flag symptoms are? This is very useful to know or find out.

I don't recall any new symptoms so far.   I don't have the words exactly but the most recent cut something felt different, I felt like I didn't have any emotional reserve left, everything felt more dire.   I definitely needed extra time to recover.  

 

2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

I have the idea that I do not feel any effect of the drug since I am somewhat under 60 mg bupropion

That's good to know.   I still have side effects daily with headaches and whatnot, but they're just a shadow of what they used to be.   My tremors haven't diminished as much as I'd like, I may be stuck with those.   

 

2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

The problem however is that I get EXTREME WD symptoms when I decrease the dosage even with 3%. And these symptoms may last for months then.

I remember you telling me things were easier till you got to under 70 mg.   I'm expecting the same and hoping for the best.   Even if I'm not perfect, I'll still be tapering and feeling better than I did at 450mg.   In the home stretch of tapering Effexor I had to taper 2.5%, I think it took a total of 48 cuts or something, but I still got to zero.   

 

2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

I still hope that this effect will be less when I am completely away from the Prozac (which also is not going as easy as I hoped for..., but I will get there with the Prozac hopefully sometime this year).

My hunch is that the bupropion doesn't make tapering a second med any easier.   Fingers crossed things get easier for you once you're off the Prozac.   

 

2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

but I will get there with the Prozac hopefully sometime this year).

That's super exciting!  Life got interesting so I took around 5 years off after tapering venlafaxine before I was ready to commit to the bupropion taper.   I'm looking forward to finishing my taper and getting to the next leg of my healing, after I get to zero.   I think I'll gradually continue to feel better.  

 

2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

The main thing I have learned, to listen to my body and emotions. Adapt (and accept) when needed. Go slow and controlled. Stabile as long as I feel is useful or needed. When doubting, I stay on hold. These are basically my own "rules"

I saw a presentation a long time ago, and the theme was 'when in doubt, don't'.   Man, wish I'd listened to that advice!!   

 

As always, appreciate your help go2zero!

[RachelSusan]

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

My tremors haven't diminished as much as I'd like, I may be stuck with those.   

Hi @j1290 It's always good to take a break from tapering. When you do start to taper again hopefully it will be even easier. 

 

You mention tremors. I am interested in hearing more about them if you care to share.  I ask because somewhere along the line I picked up internal tremors. I can't recall if they started with my cold turkey crash, during my taper, or if they are not related at all.  They are sometimes there during the day but over all they are minimal, however I do wake up at night with them. I was starting to wonder if I should be evaluated for some other underlying issue or if this is indeed related to all I have gone through. If you feel open to sharing about your tremors I would appreciate hearing about it.

 

As always you impress me with your approach.

 

[j1290]

Hi @RachelSusan

 

Thanks for your kind words 😊

 

7 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

It's always good to take a break from tapering. When you do start to taper again hopefully it will be even easier. 

Not gonna lie, as much as I don't want to extend this, it really is nice to take a break and be able to focus on life for a minute.   I never thought about tapering getting easier, but you bring up a great point, it sure couldn't hurt to start from a stable place.  

 

7 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

I can't recall if they started with my cold turkey crash, during my taper, or if they are not related at all.

You said it.  After so long on these meds, I have started to forget what I was even like before I started taking these things.   

 

7 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

They are sometimes there during the day but over all they are minimal, however I do wake up at night with them.

I just did a quick google search for tremors and found this and this.  I recall reading somewhere in my AD research that they may not go away, but these articles suggest they might.   For me, I believe the involuntary muscle contractions I get when falling asleep or getting sleepy are directly related to the ADs, as I remember them being a surprise when I first started taking these things back in the day.    Last year before I started tapering I had a manufacturer change that caused heavy WD symptoms and I recall the muscle spasms as being quite sharp and more frequent, so I'm confident they're still AD related in some way.   Currently they manifest as a slight leg or arm twitch to maybe something similar to a shiver or a mild brain zap.  They're unwelcome but not painful or anything, and I don't get them during any activities generally, just when I'm at rest or tired.   Is that what you wanted to know?   

 

[RachelSusan]

@j1290 Thank you for the response and the link to the articles. It was very kind of you to take the time to look up the information for me.

 

I have read both articles and downloaded them to reread when needed. From the reading I think I am now a little more articulate when describing my tremors. I believe I have medication-induced tremor (MIT) while at rest.

 

Your personal experience is helpful as well. It sounds like your tremors when falling asleep are similar to mine, however mine are usually in the middle of the night and once again when I wake up. They seem to happen when I have been sleeping and am motionless for some hours.  I may never know what exactly is causing them. Could be medication I am currently on, are currently coming off of, or have been on in the past, or a combination of medications I now take.  I do wish they would go away though. They happen every single night. At least the daytime tremors have almost completely gone away. I say almost because they do return when I am emotionally stressed.

 

I think tapering from a place of stability is always wise. Good for you on your hold.

Edited May 9, 2023 by RachelSusan

[j1290]

9 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

I may never know what exactly is causing them. Could be medication I am currently on, are currently coming off of, or have been on in the past, or a combination of medications I now take.

Well you said a mouthful.  Seems like everything AD related is a big question mark. I read an article by Dr. Shipko and I recall him saying about AD symptoms to save your breath, don't bother asking him, give it time and it'll go away.   I think that time may be many months, but I suspect he's right that they will go away eventually.  

9 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

They seem to happen when I have been sleeping and am motionless for some hours. 

Fascinating.   I wonder if there are any studies about sleep and ADs?  I'm convinced there's some connection, but where it begins and ends I don't know.   I'm currently working nights and I think it interacts with the meds somehow.   

 

So do you wake up every night with tremors?  It sounds like a startling event for sure.  

Glad to hear the daytime ones have diminished.  Funny, now that you mention it I don't recall reading many people talk about having tremors around here, I just assumed they were commonplace but maybe they're not?

[j1290]

@RachelSusan I happened to come across a paper that discusses a woman with nocturnal twitching.  It's the Mrs. C story about 3/4 of the way down.  

[RachelSusan]

15 hours ago, j1290 said:

So do you wake up every night with tremors?  It sounds like a startling event for sure.  

@j1290 Yes, every night and when I wake up in the morning. When I get up and walk they dissipate. As with a lot of people with withdrawal I wonder if I should embark on some long and involved exploration to find out if it is a genuine medical problem or if it will go away with time.  I had other withdrawal symptoms that I had checked out and the doctor was ready to treat me however they went away on their own, never to come back. I have learned to ask a lot of questions and to think through what I am being told.

[j1290]

1 minute ago, RachelSusan said:

As with a lot of people with withdrawal I wonder if I should embark on some long and involved exploration to find out if it is a genuine medical problem or if it will go away with time. 

I did some of that and the result was unsatisfying.  Then I started looking around more and saw that many others had done the same thing with similar results.   

 

2 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

I have learned to ask a lot of questions and to think through what I am being told.

This is so smart.  If I were to design the curriculum for a lifeskills class one of the subjects would be how to talk to doctors, because I surely had no idea.   

[littlebird]

29 minutes ago, j1290 said:

35 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

I have learned to ask a lot of questions and to think through what I am being told.

This is so smart.  If I were to design the curriculum for a lifeskills class one of the subjects would be how to talk to doctors, because I surely had no idea.

 

Ooh, yes please. I'd sign up for that!! I might need the remedial "it's good to advocate for yourself" version.

[LarryS]

Hi @j1290

Thought I would drop by and see what is happening with you.  I have just finished reading your last four pages, over several visits.  The eyes eventually protest and want to rest, so I must respect them and give them a break.

 

You and your confidants have been giving me some good-humored laughs.  I like it.  Lighthearted back and forth amongst friends is important to enjoy.  I have come to realize this more and more.  Sure lifts our mood.  In my past I have tended to be too serious and hard working.  Retirement has been beneficial in helping me transition away from this more and more.  I do realize have a long way to go to do better at humor.

 

Some good helpful back and forth is going on here.  Talk about some areas I have not explored may be topics I will eventually want to explore.

 

You're making progress for sure.  As my mother would say, "Hang in there."

 

[Thorin]

38 minutes ago, LarryS said:

Hi @j1290

Thought I would drop by and see what is happening with you.  I have just finished reading your last four pages, over several visits.  The eyes eventually protest and want to rest, so I must respect them and give them a break.

 

You and your confidants have been giving me some good-humored laughs.  I like it.  Lighthearted back and forth amongst friends is important to enjoy.  I have come to realize this more and more.  Sure lifts our mood.  In my past I have tended to be too serious and hard working.  Retirement has been beneficial in helping me transition away from this more and more.  I do realize have a long way to go to do better at humor.

 

Some good helpful back and forth is going on here.  Talk about some areas I have not explored may be topics I will eventually want to explore.

 

You're making progress for sure.  As my mother would say, "Hang in there."

 

I think the connection we have on here keeps us going more than anything else.

[j1290]

@LarryS

Hi Larry!  Always a pleasure.  I've been caught up and not replying so much lately, but I've been keeping an eye on your updates.  Sounds like you have an amazing support system in place.  

 

I hear you about being serious at work.  Left to my own devices I take it way too seriously as well.   Fortunately for me there are some brilliantly funny people around here that aren't afraid to have a laugh, so they make the days easier.   You're always invited to the party!  🥳🎊

 

1 hour ago, LarryS said:

In my past I have tended to be too serious and hard working.  Retirement has been beneficial in helping me transition away from this more and more.

Well, based on your latest updates, I'd say it's been working   You've always been warm and kind, but I noticed that you've been more open and light hearted lately.  Whatever you're doing, it suits you, and I bet I'm not the only one that noticed.   

 

Congratulations on jumping off!  Fingers crossed things smooth out for you.   

 

I appreciate your mom's saying.  I will hang in for sure.  Please post often, I always enjoy reading them.   

 

[RachelSusan]

On 5/9/2023 at 10:47 PM, j1290 said:

 I happened to come across a paper that discusses a woman with nocturnal twitching.  It's the Mrs. C story about 3/4 of the way down.  

@j1290 Thank you for the link.  I have done a lot of research on this but you have managed to find ones that have not come up in my search engine.  Well done. 

[LarryS]

6 hours ago, j1290 said:

You're always invited to the party!

Thank you for the invitation.  It is good to know where the fun and laughter are on this site.

 

6 hours ago, j1290 said:

Well, based on your latest updates, I'd say it's been working   You've always been warm and kind, but I noticed that you've been more open and light hearted lately.  Whatever you're doing, it suits you, and I bet I'm not the only one that noticed. 

Thanks.  I am enjoying more freedom in my expressions.  I have never been shy, but I heard through the grapevine that my work associates thought of me as business-like.  My wife provided some balance by being impromptu funny, creating laughter.

[j1290]

DAY 55  Things are a little emotionally inconsistent, good and bad and inbetween days.  As always, glad to have taken a pause to get a bit more familiar with existing on less meds and what that feels like, get more comfortable with the wider range of emotions.  I'm trying to think of what my recent emotional life was like before I began tapering almost 2 years ago, and as best I can tell it was about the same except blunted.  

 

I have some days with emotional outliers lately, but I had those too when I was on the full dose.   

 

Who knows what will happen tomorrow, so at the risk of tempting fate I'm pretty satisfied with how things are going so far.   My intent is to continue tapering to reduce the headaches and pressure and, fingers crossed, brain fog and memory issues.  

 

Roughly I think I'll start tapering again in a week or so depending on how I feel, switching to all liquid, then do my next long hold in Nov/Dec.  

[j1290]

DAY 59  3/10 Emotionally inconsistent, brain+memory fog, head pressure, anxiety.  

These are consistent with working 3rd shift and being at WD normal, except with much less irritability or frustration that I had on higher doses or during the first few weeks after a cut.  Other symptoms like vivid dreams or morning dread, hypomania, irritability, the unusually bumpy stuff, I haven't had in weeks.  I think I'm solidly at WD normal.  

 

I have some important projects to complete.  I'm going to wait until I complete one before considering doing another cut, so I will hold another week or so.   

 

 

[Thorin]

1 minute ago, j1290 said:

DAY 59  3/10 Emotionally inconsistent, brain+memory fog, head pressure, anxiety.  

These are consistent with working 3rd shift and being at WD normal, except with much less irritability or frustration that I had on higher doses or during the first few weeks after a cut.  Other symptoms like vivid dreams or morning dread, hypomania, irritability, the unusually bumpy stuff, I haven't had in weeks.  I think I'm solidly at WD normal.  

 

I have some important projects to complete.  I'm going to wait until I complete one before considering doing another cut, so I will hold another week or so.   

 

 

That’s awesome that you have less irritability and frustration. I know that was bothering you. 
Good to hear you’re back at WDnormal. Can also confirm that (for me anyway) the brain fog has started to lift as of a few weeks ago although I do still have days where my brain feels ‘off’. I’m betting the same will happen with you as you spend time at lower doses.

sorry to hear the anxiety’s still bothering you. I hate the anxiety (tbh I hate it all 🤷‍♂️). Do you get breaks from the anxiety or is it constant? Did you end up looking into CBD oil at all?

[j1290]

4 minutes ago, Thorin said:

That’s awesome that you have less irritability and frustration. I know that was bothering you. 

Thanks man.  I had an informal obligation tonight that put me out and turned out was a wasted trip.   Paraphrasing my coach, he told me something along the lines of you have to do a favor for someone out of a spirit of giving or it doesn't count to that person.  I did my best in that regard and think I handled it with a good nature.   It was easy, as long as I gave myself 10 minutes between text messages to cool down 🤪

 

12 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Can also confirm that (for me anyway) the brain fog has started to lift as of a few weeks ago although I do still have days where my brain feels ‘off’. I’m betting the same will happen with you as you spend time at lower doses.

It's good to hear.  I'm much better than I was at full dose, but you know how it goes, it feels like it'll never end, even though I know it will.  Congrats on that, you well deserve it and earned every bit of your success!

 

I definitely get breaks from the anxiety.  It feels super heavy for 10 minutes or so at a time, but  that 10 minutes feels like a lifetime.   It's inconvenient but I have hopes it'll get better with time.  

[Thorin]

4 minutes ago, j1290 said:

and turned out was a wasted trip.   Paraphrasing my coach, he told me something along the lines of you have to do a favor for someone out of a spirit of giving or it doesn't count to that person.  I did my best in that regard and think I handled it with a good nature.   It

Man that would be frustrating for anyone at the best of times. I think it’s ok to ‘feel’ frustrated. It’s how you outwardly act that says more about who you are….

 

5 minutes ago, j1290 said:

It was easy, as long as I gave myself 10 minutes between text messages to cool down 🤪

Oh man can do relate to this at times!

 

5 minutes ago, j1290 said:

It's good to hear.  I'm much better than I was at full dose, but you know how it goes, it feels like it'll never end, even though I know it will. 

Yup, I know that feeling well. Even though we’re making headway it still feels like Groundhog Day and like we’ll never get there. We will….

 

6 minutes ago, j1290 said:

definitely get breaks from the anxiety.  It feels super heavy for 10 minutes or so at a time, but  that 10 minutes feels like a lifetime.   It's inconvenient but I have hopes it'll get better with time.  

Oh you’re getting the waves of anxiety? Yeah I know that well! It builds up, reaches a climax and then slowly recedes again. Feels like you’ll have a full panic attack but never quite gets there? Still very strong anxiety though? It did get better for me. I still get anxious but nowhere near what you have heard from me in the past on here. I imagine I’ll have to go through it again when I restart my taper but hopefully to a lesser degree! I think it will pass for you dude. There will always be times of anxiety I think but not like the anxiety caused by the meds and WD.

[Fifree]

12 hours ago, j1290 said:

definitely get breaks from the anxiety.  It feels super heavy for 10 minutes or so at a time, but  that 10 minutes feels like a lifetime.   It's inconvenient but I have hopes it'll get better with time.  

I think as long as you're still recognising that you're "having a wave of anxiety" you're winning. I am very familiar with the sense that "this is it now - I'm going to feel this way forever and why did I ever take/taper medication, I'm so stupid for feeling this way" etc etc. But if you can catch yourself and see it as something that's happening in the moment, you're ok.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon J. It's quite a range of symptoms you're having right now so be nice to yourself.

 

PS and you still get full marks for doing the favour imo

 

 

[Addax]

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

These are consistent with working 3rd shift and being at WD normal, except with much less irritability or frustration that I had on higher doses or during the first few weeks after a cut.  Other symptoms like vivid dreams or morning dread, hypomania, irritability, the unusually bumpy stuff, I haven't had in weeks.  I think I'm solidly at WD normal.

Oi! That third shift. I forgot you do that. As I’ve probably commented before, it’s tough anyway, but add WD… brutal. But it sounds like several symptoms have abated, which is great!

 

When do you sleep? I know some people who go to sleep straight fathering shift, and others who do their day and go to bed and wake up in time to get to work.  
 

 

[Thorin]

2 hours ago, Fifree said:

this is it now - I'm going to feel this way forever and why did I ever take/taper medication, I'm so stupid for feeling this way" etc etc.

I’ve had this so many times. Over and over again…. It’s usually someone on here that points out that I’m in a wave….

 

2 hours ago, Fifree said:

PS and you still get full marks for doing the favour imo

Agreed!

[j1290]

15 hours ago, Thorin said:

I think it’s ok to ‘feel’ frustrated. It’s how you outwardly act that says more about who you are….

Well said.  

 

16 hours ago, Thorin said:

Feels like you’ll have a full panic attack but never quite gets there? Still very strong anxiety though?

Oh, man, I'm hearing Dr. Claire Weekes in my head now and the Second Kind of Fear 🤣.   Yeah very strong but short of full blown panic.  

 

16 hours ago, Thorin said:

There will always be times of anxiety I think but not like the anxiety caused by the meds and WD.

I think so too.  Can't wait to get there.  I don't think I'll really know where I'm at until I'm at a normal sleep schedule.   

 

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

why did I ever take/taper medication, I'm so stupid for feeling this way"

LOL how did you read my mind?!?!?   I try not to dwell on questions like this, but I'm not always successful.   

 

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

But if you can catch yourself and see it as something that's happening in the moment, you're ok.

It's half the battle, isn't it?  Sure beats adding confusion on top of anxiety haha.   

 

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

Hope you're feeling better soon J. It's quite a range of symptoms you're having right now so be nice to yourself.

I appreciate that, Fifree.  The good thing is my memory is crap so I'll forget all this next month 😄

 

3 hours ago, Addax said:

it’s tough anyway, but add WD… brutal.

The emotional lability builds up the longer I work 3rd shift.  I might just have to put all tapering on hold till I've got a regular sleep schedule, which should be pretty soon.  Why push my luck.   

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

But it sounds like several symptoms have abated, which is great!

I have my moments but overall the irritability is greatly improved.  It'll be interesting to see if symptoms like that increase as I get to lower doses, like maybe they'll get more intense?  Certainly possible.   

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

When do you sleep? I know some people who go to sleep straight fathering shift, and others who do their day and go to bed and wake up in time to get to work.

Irregularly.  I've never found my groove, but in general I try to go to bed when I get home.  Maybe I should try that, staying up after work.   I like the idea of it but I've never kept at it.   

 

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

I’ve had this so many times. Over and over again…

I'm convinced 100% every time.   I'm glad to hear from you and others that it's not just me.   My logical brain just doesn't serve me at these times.   

[Thorin]

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

Oh, man, I'm hearing Dr. Claire Weekes in my head now and the Second Kind of Fear 🤣.   Yeah very strong but short of full blown panic.

Same experience for me. Nearly every time I though I would panic but never did. Then it slowly got better. Just took time and self care and all the usual crap we talk about 🙂

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

I think so too.  Can't wait to get there.  I don't think I'll really know where I'm at until I'm at a normal sleep schedule. 

Poor sleep REALLY messes with me these days. I feel your pain!

 

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

On 5/16/2023 at 11:03 AM, Fifree said:

Hope you're feeling better soon J. It's quite a range of symptoms you're having right now so be nice to yourself.

I appreciate that, Fifree.  The good thing is my memory is crap so I'll forget all this next month 😄

HAHAHAHA love it!

 

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

I'm convinced 100% every time.   I'm glad to hear from you and others that it's not just me.   My logical brain just doesn't serve me at these times. 

You've pulled me out of it a few times.........

[Fifree]

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

 

22 hours ago, j1290 said:

I'm convinced 100% every time.   I'm glad to hear from you and others that it's not just me.   My logical brain just doesn't serve me at these times. 

You've pulled me out of it a few times.........

I have this part of the thread in my solid memory now. (I'm sure there's some technical term for it  that is better than "solid memory" but I don't know what it is.)

 

Anyway, it helped me today. I had those anxious feelings rising up in my chest and I was reacting at first and then I remembered this convo and went "Nope - this is a little wave of anxiety and it will pass soon". AND IT DID!

 

Thanks for your help. I'm implementing this for future waves.

[Thorin]

24 minutes ago, Fifree said:

than "solid memory" but I don't know what it is.

I’m using solid memory from now on.

 

24 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Nope - this is a little wave of anxiety and it will pass soon". AND IT DID!

Even though I feel like I’m over the worst of my anxiety for the moment I still use this when it does pop up…. It ALWAYS passes.