LunaLex: Lexapro Crash after unsupervised taper

[LunaLex]

Sorry getofflex, I didnt mean to be obtuse! Its really hard for me to judge objectively because the anxiety and emotions for me are such a killer symptom that I have felt much worse on 0.5 all week, except today. 

 

But I also know that may be impacted by being sick, menstual cycle and stressful situation so it makes for a hard judgement. 

 

I had a good today (end of the wave, or a window?) however and I would say from today the answer is that I am feeling the same, maybe mildly better. 

 

I think considering the stressors I need to monitor a few more days to be sure if its the same, better or worse though. 

 

Thank you for checking in and for the links. I have been looking at them and talking to a psychologist also. Just having a hard time! Coping takes practice and I have no practice yet!

[LunaLex]

6/5

430-630 Good Deep Sleep.

637-820 Okay sleep cycle

840-10, 10-1025 Light sleep.

2 hrs good, 1 40 okay, 150 Light. 520 total.

820, 10- Wake, moderate anxiety, brain loud, breathe and sleep.

1025- Wake, Anxiety high (7), Physical Anxiety High (7) Heart thumping, chest tight. Brain loud. Try to breathe.

11~12 Apartment Photographed. View downstairs apartment. Anxiety (spirals, catastrophizing) very high (7.5~8) Cry a little.

1230 Heart thumping less, tension bad, anxiety bad.

12:45-230pm Break down, anxiety 8-9, crying a lot, hopelessness and some suicidal thoughts. Chest feels very tight, heart pounding, feels hard to breath but not hyperventilating. Fear is big. First thought of benzos or hospital in 2 weeks.

3pm calmer. Apple ginger tisane. Anxiety 6.5-7 when distracted but feels looming and like it could spike again easily.  Heart better, no physical symptoms.

330-430 Psychologist. Cry a lot. Anxiety higher again. 7.5 Heart thumping.

430-730 Take Lexapro 0.5mg at 430. sit quietly, read, watch partner play games. Pulse  in neck uncomfortable. Anxiety 7?

8pm Walk to shops. Feels good to get air.

10 trouble focusing on distractions, end up listening to baylissa symptom coping instead.

1030 Anxiety 6, but feels unstable. Chest pounding & skin crawling but unworried by those. Cooking

1130 Anxiety dropped to 5. Emotionally tired.

12 Melatonin 1mg and dinner. Mood good.

230 Headachey {from crying}, cold sensitive, tiny fever, occasional palpitations.

430 Asleep

 

7|5

4:35-635 , 645-830 Good sleep with deep sleep 1.30/3.45 hrs.

840-10, Light Sleep. Doze 1015-1030.

1030 Wake with heart racing (6), sweating, chills, mild jittery feeling. Physical Anxiety 6.5, Mental 6. Try to relax and breathe.

11:00 Feel restless in legs and too wired to sleep. Relax on floor in spare room. High fatigue, reading and dozing.

2pm Porridge. Feeling better, mild palpitations (5) & Chest Tension (6). Mood above average, anxiety down (5.5). Trouble being present.

230~4pm Occasional waves of heart racing &  tingles on body. Games with partner and plant care.

4:50 Mild headache. Shook meds too much at 430? Bubbly. 0.5mg

530pm Brief dizzy and dp.

6~8pm Chest tension gone. mild palpitations. Tingles high when listening to music? Headache 7.  Thoughts quiet enough to be present and enjoy games! Fatigue low.

8~10pm Palpitations and tingles stop. Anxiety down (5).

10pm Headache easing. Warm shower. Some ruminating.

1030 Some Neurosadness about  birthday & coffee.

10~12 Some anhedonia related frustration.

12~1am 1mg Melatonin. Curry for dinner!

1~230 Notice mostly no ruminating today and able to engage in things and be present. Feel good. Anxiety 4.5, Mood Good!

230  Ginger apple tisane. Headache 6.

[Ariel]

Hi @TentacleFinn

 

Is it your birthday... ? 

 

8 minutes ago, TentacleFinn said:

1030 Some Neurosadness about  birthday & coffee.

 

 

[getofflex]

On 5/7/2022 at 1:38 PM, TentacleFinn said:

But I also know that may be impacted by being sick, menstual cycle and stressful situation so it makes for a hard judgement. 

 

I had a good today (end of the wave, or a window?) however and I would say from today the answer is that I am feeling the same, maybe mildly better. 

Ah yes, all these other factors that come into play can certainly muddy up the waters.  I've spent many a time wondering whether or not I was stable or not in WD, because I also had hormonal and other issues going on. 

 

Let's see how things go in the next few days.   Hopefully the sickness will go away, and your hormones will straighten out soon.  I'm sure you'll feel better then.  If your symptoms are bearable, stick with the 0.5 mg Lexapro for a while. Reinstatements/updoses are meant to help reduce WD, but they may not take it away altogether.  And, it can take a month or two for a reinstatement to reach its full potential of helping you.  

On 5/7/2022 at 1:40 PM, TentacleFinn said:

Shook meds too much at 430? Bubbly. 0.5mg

You may want to stir it instead.  Having foam can make it difficult to get an accurate dose, which is important.  

 

I'm sorry that you are sick.  Is it a cold, flu, COVID?  Hormones with PMS can also certainly amp up symptoms.  I'm glad you had a better day on the 7th.  

 

Happy birthday!  I hope your partner did something good for you. 🎉🎇

Edited May 8, 2022 by getofflex

[LunaLex]

On 5/8/2022 at 4:49 AM, Ariel said:

Hi @TentacleFinn

 

Is it your birthday... ? 

 

 

 

 

20 hours ago, getofflex said:

Happy birthday!  I hope your partner did something good for you. 🎉🎇

Its in 17 days, I have just had a lot of nerves as it is a big one. I have a past of never really getting to experience and enjoy many birthdays so to hit one whilst still in acute WD was making me a bit weepy. But it will be okay!!! I will have a nice day and if I cant, celebration will be there later!!

 

20 hours ago, getofflex said:

Let's see how things go in the next few days.   Hopefully the sickness will go away, and your hormones will straighten out soon.  I'm sure you'll feel better then.  If your symptoms are bearable, stick with the 0.5 mg Lexapro for a while. Reinstatements/updoses are meant to help reduce WD, but they may not take it away altogether.  And, it can take a month or two for a reinstatement to reach its full potential of helping you.  

Today was also okay so fingers crossed. And I understand, I am just hoping for some bearability soon. 

 

Sleep has gotten a bit funky too. I get 5~ hours roughly which is great, but only in 20~1hr bursts. Very odd. 

 

Luckily it doesnt seem to be covid. I did one test and it was okay, I will retest to check. It is only really bad some days, often at night so I am thinking an EBV resurgence. 

 

I am applying for an apartment today!! I looked again today at one and didnt panic and I could imagine being there and my partner and dad helped me do measurements and plans to calm me down. Thank you to everyone for your support, I am inching my way through. x

[LunaLex]

Journal last two days.

 

8|5 made me too uncomfortable to post. It was a very bad day where I got scared by new symptoms ( limbs feeling VERY uncomfortable, uneasy/irritable feeling, intrusive SI urges) and had VERY intense emotions that I did not handle well. It is over now and I am trying to foster positive memories so I dont want to record it here. 

 

9|5

VERY fragmented sleep. 8 Bursts from 4:50-750 and 9-12:30 between 20 mins and 1hr. Total : 2hrs 30 Light, 3hrs Good, 1hr 5 Deep.

 

8am Cortisol Rush of fear/dread. Mental anxiety (7.5), Chest tense (7). palpitations low. No chills. Deep breathing. 

915 calm down enough to sleep!

1pm Out of bed, no appetite, moderate nausea (5), bowels unhappy (6.5). May be mild food poisoning, partner also sick.

1:30 Eat a banana. Anxiety okay (6).

2:30 New GP for liquid prescrip refill & med cert. Doubtful about what I am going through. Wants me to see psych but writes it anyway. Anxiety (6.5)

3:20 Dad over. Walk to cafe. Peppermint Tea and lunch. Appetite mild, nausea gone. Palpitations, waves of chest tension and anxiety (6) with mild DR but am okay!

5pm 0.5 mg Lexapro, chatting, anxiety down (5.5)

5:30 Good apartment viewing. Feel good!! No panic!!

630~9 Watch shows with friend online. Feel good. anxiety 5.

9~11 Play games. Feel really ill. Headache 7.5, body achey, glands swollen, sore throat, feel feverish. Occasional waves of dizzyness & palpitations, tension. Anxiety 5, Physical 5.5.

1230 200mg Ibuprofen, Dinner, Melatonin

2am Headache less (5.5) Palpitations and tension stopped. Still a little achey. Licorice tea. (5/4.5)

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, TentacleFinn said:

I am applying for an apartment today!! I looked again today at one and didnt panic

Woohoo!  I pray that it goes through!  That will be a big load off your mind. 

 

1 hour ago, TentacleFinn said:

5:30 Good apartment viewing. Feel good!! No panic!!

This is really good!  It shows significant progress in the right direction.  

 

1 hour ago, TentacleFinn said:

Feel really ill. Headache 7.5, body achey, glands swollen, sore throat, feel feverish.

It could be a regular flu, or the COVID test may have given a false negative.  These tests are not always accurate.  

I'm sure you will feel much better when this illness runs its course and you recover from it.  Hang in there, someday, this will get better! 

[Ariel]

Hi @TentacleFinn

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes <3

A.

[Ninabird]

@TentacleFinn

 

Fingers crossed on finding your apartment. I moved into my house over two months ago. It feels so good to be in a space that I can call my own. 

 

Praying you have a blessed day and that you get good sleep. 

 

Much love-

Ninabird

[Blossom71]

Oh @TentacleFinn

Im sorry things are rough for you. Sending you love 😘

[LunaLex]

@Ariel@Ninabird@Blossom71, Thank you guys so much for your wellwishes. It is really heartwarming to open my email and see the little messages, especially in hard moments. 

 

I got my application in tonight (Had to get a new copy of birth certificate, what a pain!) so fingers crossed. 

 

I popped in to all your threads and I have been too ill to gather my brain to post and give a properly articulated wish to you each, but as soon as I am better I will try and just know my likes are healing wishes! 

 

Much love xx

[LunaLex]

I seem to be getting MORE sick, but mostly at night. I dont think its WD as I have a cough and sore throat. I am really sickly but scared to take Ibuprofen as the last two times I have taken it have seen signs of akathisia the next day, which is new. 

The 9th and 10th were pretty okay days!! My emotions are stabilising a little post hormones, the symptoms are still hard. 

 

Hoping for a real window soon. 

 

10/5

420-10:05 Sleep!! 5hr42 sleep with 1hr50 deep sleep!

10:10-11:15 Good Sleep Cycle w 26m deep.

11:15-12, 1215-12:47 Light sleep on an off.

 

1pm - Very awake and feel restless and off, move to spare room.

1-2pm Feel agitated, restless. Arms mildly burning and and upper back feels uncomfortable, very tense and "charged". Akathisia??

2pm Eat english muffins.

230-4pm Arms and back better. Intrusive urges. Easily annoyed. No usual anxiety.

440 0.5mg Lexapro

5pm Feeling calmer. 

530 Some palpitations and chest tightness, run for train to get to Pilates Class.

7pm Class done, had trouble keeping up. Feel good physically but waves of urge to cry - Cortisol crash?

7:30 1/2 Sugar and Cinnamon Kurtosh 

8~11 Feel very calm physically. Some brief scalp chills. Half a savory pie slice.

11~1 Very hungry,  dishes and cooking. Mild DR and Dizzyness during waves of fatigue. 

1am Microwave on fire?? Some smoke, throat and nose stings. Health Anxiety. Eat dinner, chicken and noodles.

4am Chamomile tea, shower and bed

Possible sleep issues :Exercise, sugar

 

11|5

5~630 Okay sleep w 20 deep.

630~930Light sleep

930~1055 Some mild phys anxiety, slightly restless, try to relax

1055~12 , 12~1240 Good sleep cycle

 

1240~130pm Resting, legs feel very restless (6), physical anxiety/tension (6) very mild palpitations/chills.

130-230p Relax in spare room,Legs better.

230-4pm Feeling odd, irritable.  Hard to do anything or motivate to get up and eat.

4pm English muffins and MILD green tea.

430pm Lexapro

5-7pm Mild palpitations and chills.

7pm Brainfog (5) and DR (6) Trouble doing things.

1148 Brain/scalp chill/tingling

12 Dinner, Chicken Mole with rice, low sugar gingerbeer.

1~130am 1 mg Melatonin. DR worsening(7) , go for walk outside in the cold to calm. 

130~330 DR less (5) some anxiety (5)

350 Throat itch, cough, sickly. Get ready for bed. Take Pill.

Possible sleep issues :Green tea, mole sauce.

[LunaLex]

Sleep : Time trying to sleep 9 hrs  (5~2). Fell asleep at 730. Total sleep 4.5~5 hrs. 2 hours good w 1 deep, 3 hrs of light sleep in 0.5~1hr fragments. 

 

12:30pm Wake up, sore thoat and cough. mild palpitations and chills (2~3). Mild tension (4.5), dread and anxiety.  Legs restless but not in agitated charged way. Try and relax, mostly doze.

2-230pm Emotional Anxiety rising (6)

2:30pm Porridge w raspberry and almond. 

3~5pm Important document issue, sort without melt down. Finishing application. Anxious (6.5)

440pm 0.5mg Lexapro

530~630 Feeling more fluey, quite achey (6~7) and getting chills. Occasional palpitations (3~6). Emotional anxiety down (6)

650 Nervous about ibuprofen as think it may be akathisia trigger. Take 200mg tablet with upngo. 

8pm At trivia, less achey (5) still occasional chills. Anxiety down (5.5)

10pm Triggering txt, anxiety up (6~7)

11pm Feeling very feverish(7), skin very sensitive to touch, VERY temperature sensitive. Cry from discomfort. Cool shower.

12~1am Occasional palpitations (5) and rare chills (3) Less fever, less pain (5) and much less sensitivity. dinner, tongue stinging mildly when I eat. Anxiety 5.5

2 1mg melatonin.

3:30 peppermint tea, heading to bed. 

[Altostrata]

@TentacleFinn you may want to take another covid test. It sounds like you have a bug.

[LunaLex]

On 5/13/2022 at 8:31 AM, Altostrata said:

@TentacleFinn you may want to take another covid test. It sounds like you have a bug.

Luckily not Covid- I took a test a week and a bit ago when I started feelign sick, then one at the start of the week and a third the night before last. All three totally clear, even tried different brands. I have a terrible immune system though, I had mono for months last year. 

 

Just a really bad and badly timed bug!

[LunaLex]

13|5

Sleep : Fell asleep quickly. In bed 4~2pm. (10hrs) Total sleep time 9hrs. 2.5~5 good, 4~6.5 Light. (2 hrs no tracking). at least 30 deep.

 

2~230 Mild palpitations (passes), moderate anxiety, uncomfortable legs (passes).

330 pm Mental anxiety (6.5) And chest tension/physical anxiety feelings. (6) Eating english muffins.

430  Chest tension worse(6.5) and feeling mildly jittery. Fever feelings starting, skin and temp sensitive.

450 0.5 mg Lexapro.

5:15 Palpitations (5). Took 3rd covid test in week and half, neg.

7pm Finish gentle yoga class. Palpitations stopped, body feels relaxed ~ heavy and a bit fatigued. Physical anxiety down (5). Some neurosadness about meditation difficulty, teary.

8~11 Home, fever, feeling very sickly. Anxiety down 5.5

1230am dinner Take 200mg Ibuprofen.

3~730am Disagreement w partner into bad meltdown about WD. Feel very hopeless, despair, high (7~8) SI,  very depressed - empty and void of good. Cry a lot.

 

14|5

Sleep: In bed 7:30am-3pm (7 1|2hrs). Fall asleep 8:50. 2.5 good

hours, 1 &1|2 okay hour. 1 hr light sleep in fragments. 1hr deep. 

 

2:50pm Sudden intense anxiety|fear.  Stomach clench, chest tightens, heart pounding, legs uncomfortable. (7.5)

3:30 Eating english muffins. Anxiety down (6) Chest less tight, heart pounding much less. Legs fine. Physical (6) Feeling depressed from last night still. 

4:45 Take 0.5mg Lexapro and go through notes.

6pm Anxiety down to 5.5. Much more sick today.  Feeling very tired, nodding off sitting up. Depression better. 

6:50pm 4 squares of milk chocolate.

7~8pm Eating salads.

7:30pm Some palpitations (4.5) - chocolate? No longer tired.

830pm Palpitations stopped, fever bad. Physical anxiety down (4.5)

10~11 sleepy again, feeling quite ill. Dont notice emotional or physical anxiety.

1:15am Dinner, tuna pasta. Ibuprofen 200mg.

230am Flu symptoms down, emotional anxiety and physical anxiety (tension in chest, feel "charged",  can hear heartbeat in ears) up (6). Ibuprofen? Or lessening of flu symptoms?

3am Melatonin 1mg

3:30am Heartbeat and tensions still  (5) Calming down for bed. Mood better overall. 

 

[Ninabird]

@TentacleFinn

Hey there. I wanted to stop by and say hi. I’m thinking good thoughts for you. I hope you get some good sleep tonight. 
🌺❤️

[Ariel]

Hello dear @TentacleFinn

So sorry about the bug! You've really got your portion of ugh blech argh on your plate these days.

 

Sometimes I feel like a dung beetle, just rolling my little (big!) ball of crap. (This is apropos bugs, I suppose.) But you know, in ancient Egypt the dung beetle was also known as the scarab and worshiped as a sun god, a powerful symbol of rebirth. Moreover, dung beetles are excellent soil builders, and our poor planet certainly needs all the help it can get on that front. A hard worker of remarkable strength, a supernatural being, an efficient recycler and vital member of its ecosystem -- adept at dancing backwards (if not quite in heels*)... All in all not a bad mascot for what we gotta do to make it through withdrawal, eh? 

 

Just keep rolling that turd, my friend. You shall be reborn soon enough. You're doing a great job, clearly, since the sun keeps rising! 

 

 

Out of the mud grows the lotus. So too will we bloom from the poo! 

 

Love to you, friend.

A.

 

*(that's a Ginger Rogers reference, btw)

 

[Ninabird]

@TentacleFinn

 

Hi there! Just popping by to see how you have been doing? 🙂

 

It is 102 degrees today! 😝 I am staying indoors as I can't really tolerate heat right now. I had a pretty new sink installed today. Oh the simple joys of a 52 year old woman in WD...lol

 

Sending you love and positivity!

[LunaLex]

Hey you lovely people. Thank you for your patient checking in, love and support. 

 

@NinabirdHow are you doing! I feel you, it gets in the 30C~40C (86~104) Range allllll summer and sometimes into autumn here. I can imagine how hell that would be right now! Wishing a break for you from the warmth. A nice breezy day with some warm but not hot sun! 

 

@ArielCall me Khepri bc I am rolling that ball. All my love to you who always makes me smile even when I have nothing to give in return. 

 

I come bearing news. Some bad, but a lot good! Some updates. 

 

I upped my dose again, just to 0.75, at first it felt like a huge mistake and there was some hellish adjustment days but a lot of my withdrawal symptoms are getting better. 

 

My tummy is doing much better, sleep has improved (average of 7 hours a night, 2~4 of which are good hours! With an hour of deep sleep! Still lots of wakeups but some nights I get 2~4 straight hours!) but schedule has worsened. Cortisol waking seems to have settled this last week to two, I sometimes have a little bit of wriggly legs or chest tension but the palpitations are way down. A month ago I was shaking uncontrollably every morning!

 

DP/DR barely happens in little waves now, with very rare spurts.  Anhedonia is way down- I still dont have the same level of emotions or connections and it bugs me, but i am able to at least have some connection or enjoyment most days. 

 

Anxiety is up and down. Physical anxiety is a little better- palpitations and tensions are sometimes not there at all and usually are just annoying, they only get overwhelming every four days or so. My mental anxiety is still a struggle, but its still a stressful time. It is a LITTLE better though. More consistent, less bad spikes. 

 

I signed a lease. I start my move in a bit under a week. They are even giving us the keys early so I can start moving small stuff. Its in the same building and some of the rooms are the same layout which is helping a lot. I realised last night the bedroom is "wrong" and my bedhead wall is now an ensuite door which led to a lot of distress today, as I will have to rotate the bed and now face a big bright window. One of those things I could have handled pre WD and now led to WAY too much despair. But I will overcome. 

 

Im mostly not sick anymore! Finally, after 3~4 weeks of fevers!

 

AND after a month and a bit since my last, I had a nice big window on.. sunday? No physical anxiety at all! Emotions felt pretty much like myself on an above average day! Happy cried to a meaningful scene of a show I love! Had a weird moment after a few hours where I felt like I "sobered up" very quickly, in the space of 10 minutes I went from heart soaring to feeling just "okay" and a bit flat and a tiny bit sad, as if my system went "Nope, okay, that is too much joy" and overcorrected suddenly. But still no anxiety and still felt like, 60% myself! It was glorious. Lots of laughter and joy. 

 

On the bad;

I am dealing with a lot of mental and emotional.. fatigue? Burnout? Doing things is hard. Anxiety and nervous energy was a good driver. And also what I previously perceived as depression. Stretched thin feeling and like I dont even want to eat, just sleep for ten thousand years. 

 

I also seem to have plunged myself into a bit of a wave yesterday with a test batch of decaf. I was having no food sensitivites so thought it may be safe. And it was fine! Till suddenly 5 hours later, agitation, irritability, feeling wrong and bad, intrusive thoughts, not sleeping, leg pains I havent had and vivid nightmares. Today has been a day of feeling weepy all day and anxious emotionally, some nausea and then shivers and palpitations this evening and pains now. 

 

Ill advised experiment but it could be worse. 6~7|10 I will survive it. 

 

Now, fingers crossed it betters with sleep and doesnt worsen as, since 5 hours ago it is my birthday. :).

 

I hope youre all well. I check my emails and read thread updates often, I have just been too empty to respond but I will try and pop in and give love and light. Maybe once the move anxiety calms down!!

[Ariel]

@TentacleFinn

Dear, dear TeFi. 

Happy birthday <3

I'm glad you're here. 

Health, happiness, peace, light, lightness, meaning --

Wishing you all good things. 

May you walk in beauty.  

Love, 

A. 

 

P.S. 

It's great to read your update. You are so brave!

Congratulations on all your hard work. 

It's encouraging to hear you are experiencing improvements and finding pockets of relief. 

Good on you for noticing as well as you do. 

Sending healing vibes and heartfelt housewarming thoughts for a smooth move and settling in sweetly when the time comes.  

[getofflex]

On 5/25/2022 at 2:13 PM, TentacleFinn said:

I upped my dose again, just to 0.75, at first it felt like a huge mistake and there was some hellish adjustment days but a lot of my withdrawal symptoms are getting better. 

Can you please add this to your signature along with the date you updosed?  Thank you.  

 

On 5/25/2022 at 2:13 PM, TentacleFinn said:

I signed a lease. I start my move in a bit under a week.

I'm glad to hear you found a new living situation!  That must be a load off your mind, although I know the moving will be a lot of work. 

 

On 5/25/2022 at 2:13 PM, TentacleFinn said:

I will have to rotate the bed and now face a big bright window.

You might consider getting blackout shades for this window.  It will help your sleep, and help with the cortisol spikes.  

 

It sounds like overall, you are doing well.  It's wonderful that you are getting 7 hours of sleep!  You have come a very long way from the state you were in when you first got here!  I hope that your move goes well.  

Edited May 27, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

@TentacleFinnhow are things going these days?  Thinking about ya. 

Edited June 7, 2022 by getofflex

[Ariel]

@TentacleFinn

Thinking of you and sending hugs <3

[Ariel]

I miss you @TentacleFinn

Hope you're doing okay. 

You are very special and I wish you all good things. 

Thinking the nicest thoughts in your direction <3

[LunaLex]

Hello lovely humans. 

 

I have been struggling the last month to write an update. There has been a lot going on, with the move and such! And some things I have been afraid to address.  I will update properly, and hate to come back with bad news, but I am scared and looking for some reassurance in regards to COVID and WD. 

 

The good news: I have been stabilising. I would say the average of my symptoms is down to a 5-6. On average: uncomfortable, grating, some days still very bad, but closer to bearable. No real windows, but no real waves either other and more of slowly improving baseline. I HAVE been experiencing what I believe to be adverse medication effects, though, which has made things harder as I am very much not ready to start my taper and I have been scared I will have no choice. 

 

I have been able to integrate a little back into life. I went to some social events, and though I had some difficult symptoms flare up both times, It only lasted an hour or so both times and then I was able to enjoy myself! A lot! The best time in ages! And I went out to a nice restaurant with my family! I exercise weekly, and walk daily. I can enjoy some games and time with my partner, now. 

 

My sleep has improved a lot, I average 8 hours across 10 in bed, with some proper sleep cycles, good chunks of 3 to 5 hrs and only 2-4 wake ups. I am struggling a lot though with my cycle and mostly can't fall asleep till 5 or 6am. 

 

However, I woke up yesterday to surprise Covid, despite all masking and care. I am devastated and terrified. The flu alone took me out for a month. I am so uncomfortable and in pain, but so scared to take meds. It has coincided with my menstrual cycle, so I'm also having flareups of symptoms. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. I am terrified of what covid, or long covid, will do in WD and how this might worsen my WD. I have been in tears all day trying to find if it has effected other members or caused set backs but am struggling. 

 

My partner is really sick and can only sleep and I have no family nearby to help out, so I have to care for us both and the house. I am trying not to spiral, but any virtual hugs or happy videos or suggestions or advice would be appreciated. 

[Ariel]

@TentacleFinn

 

Hello dear friend, 

So sorry you and your partner are sick with Covid. I understand that it can feel scary and overwhelming. 

 

I'm on my way to bed so this will be brief, but I just wanted to write you a quick message and send you a hug!

 

I am delighted to hear of your recent improvements and stabilizing, very well done TeFi. Give yourself lots of credit for your patience and perseverance, your courage and strength in holding holding holding.

 

I'm thinking of you and holding space for your experience.

You're going through a lot, please be gentle with yourself. And if you need to let things slide, like housework and such, just go ahead and be a slob and conserve energy for healing. 

 

You got this, braveheart.

 

Lots of love,

A.

[Healingcontinues]

@TentacleFinnhow cr@p you have Covid and your partner is also unwell! I can totally imagine the panic of this- wondering what implications this might have. I would probably be doing the same. If it gives you a little comfort, I had it last year when I was just off medication (and has no idea about WS) and it wasn’t all too awful. I had a runny nose and a temperature for 5 days, but by day 7 I was much much better. Hopefully this is the case for you too. 
 

Others do have nasty symptoms though, and even people not in WD have to take it easy. So rest up, stay hydrated and try not to push it, even if that means many pyjamas days- so what. Give yourself the best chance to recover, and I am praying for you that this happens quickly! Thinking of you. 

[Ariel]

Thinking of you and sending love 

[Carmie]

Sad to hear you have Covid @TentacleFinn

 

Wishing you a speedy recovery and sending you big hugs🤗

[Ariel]

Thinking of you @TentacleFinn

Sending love and healing vibes 

[Ariel]

Sending hugs and healing vibes <3