Ninabird: Effexor withdrawal?

[Ninabird]

After a couple of very tough weeks ( mixed w some decent windows) I woke up today feeling semi-decent. I didn’t have horrible burning in my head or feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin. No panic either. Today is a stressful day. My dog is having surgery to remove a lipoma from her hind leg. She is in great hands but I’ll admit, I’m nervous. She is so much more than a pet. She’s a child to me. 
I really expected to feel more anxiety and head pain. 
I hate that I’m so used to feeling like a house fell on my head that yesterday and this morning ( I was feeling decent from 1-10pm yesterday too) I’m just waiting for the ball to drop. I’m disappointed that instead of enjoying the break I’m waiting for the next wave. Bracing for it. I have done that a few times in the last couple of weeks. I know @Ariel @Greatful and others would tell me to be kind to myself. I just don’t know why I’m bracing for waves. 
THIS I need to work on. I still have Lex and Klonopin to taper at some point. I need to change this mindset. 
 

[Greatful]

@Ninabird How are you doing today?  

[Ninabird]

@Greatful

Had a wave from 2-5pm. I hate that darn burning in my head. I had that mixed w up and down anxiety and my eyes are burning. 
I know this is going to be the way it is for a while. I have to make peace w this WD MONSTER one way or another. Maybe I’ll try meditating?What do you do when your symptoms flare? 
I picked up my dog ( Bella) from the vet. She was still woozy but I could tell she was happy to see “momma.” 😊😊😊
 

How are you this eve? Have you had any good moments? 🙏🏻

[Greatful]

@Ninabird

Oh my gosh, you get the burning eyes too.  Do you get the burning sinuses? Peeling lips....

Heath has similar issues--he's on lex too....

Let's see what do I do when symptoms flair up or on a daily basis. 

cry- have a melt down lol - I have been doing a little vagus nerve work- I use to  meditate more- I should get back to that--some yoga up the wall- distractions--some breathing exercises-walk- I am terrible when it comes to constancy-go on YouTube to watch interviews or lectures on these drugs--to help me stay focused or motived to get off these drugs- look at Therapy in a Nutshell for some self help-play games on my tablet- sometimes I have to just sit in it and remind myself that it does pass. It can depend on the day--how I am doing and what I am capable of doing ---what worked yesterday doesn't always work today....🙃 the hard part for me is not to get sucked into how I am going to be stuck like this---Hard to stay in the present and let things heal at there own pace..  Patience has never been my strong point--and the stores don't sell it LOL--then you throw  in anxiety/depression  and well that ramps up the urgency for this to go away...

 

You have a dog too.  They are always excited to see mama--You can put your pets pictures on here https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7634-pets-and-love-aww-post-your-pics-here/#comment-57277  Maddy is my avatar.   We've been at the vet quite a bit in the last year or so--she has stomach issues---she had worms- coccidia- stomach infection- lack of appetite- lose stools-😒 

 

How are you doing today?

 

  

[Ninabird]

Hi @Greatful

Today I’m not feeling my best. I’m in another wave. It started at 2pm last night. 
Today I woke up with anxiety (6) took my .25mg of Klonopin and it slowly came down (4) took my morning dose of Lexapro (10mg) and anxiety, burning in my head and arms and eyes, ringing in my ears. The scary part is wondering why it seems like the symptoms are intensifying. I did try to go to liquid lex. Thst didn’t work so I had to jump back to pull form. Then moving my Cymbalta dose ahead a few hours to distance it from the Lexapro last week. Im wondering if those two circumstances destabilised me to the point of feeling worse now? I don’t know. I just want to cry. I don’t want to get worse. 
I do get moments in my day where I feel decent. Then I get thrown back into hell. I have read that if you are having moments of feeling better it’s a great sign? Am I wrong?

I think I’m seeking reassurance. 
 

How are you doing today? I tried to put Bella on the site. It kicked it back saying the file is too big. I don’t know how to make it smaller. 
Any suggestions? 
 

 

[Greatful]

@Ninabird

I'm slowly coming out of a rough week or so---

 

How has the lex treated you from when you started it?  From you signature it looks like you were put on the drug merry-go-round too...Now it makes it harder to know what is what Wd-adverse affect-  so sad what these drugs do to us🤢

 

Did you do a taper over to the liquid?  I tapered to liquid- but was still in bad WD and whatever else  LOL--makes it so hard to really know if it affected me-or did I just go into a deeper wave-- but stuck with the change over anyway and doing okay on it..  crushing the pills is harder to get accurate...for us anyway..

 

the little windows show us that we are still in there and the brain is trying to get it right....have you ever read the story "what is happening in your brain"?

http://What is Happening in Your Brain.

 

I am the most technically challenged--I would not know how to put your dogs picture on the computer LOL  I could ask my hubby if you would like.

 

 

[Ninabird]

@Greatful

Having a pretty rough day. I’ve cried quite a bit after a morning of high anxiety. I just don’t understand why I’m feeling so much worse the last few weeks. 

[Ninabird]

@Altostrata

Its been pretty hairy the last couple of weeks. The last week has been especially hard. Symptoms are increased anxiety ( they come in waves) ringing in ears, overly emotional, fear, fatigue, burning in head, buzzing in my body. Could this be from going from pill form to liquid Lexapro? Then moving my Cymbalta up to noon? Yes, I moved an hour a day until I got to noon. Since doing that I feel worse. 
Any clue as to what could be making me worse? 
respectfully,

NB

[Greatful]

@Ninabird

Have you done a daily log to see if you are reacting to a drug?

Remember we do go through windows and waves..

I can relate to feeling a little panicked about all this--so hard to fully comprehend how awful you can feel.. sometimes I am totally hit with how unreal this all is.   

Can this really be happening.  But we have to try an let those thoughts go--as Baylissa Frederick says 

Acceptance/a mindfulness approach 

Imagine that you are on your way home.  You know without doubt you will arrive.  You look ahead and notice there is a massive traffic jam.  You are stuck.  There is no way out but through.  All you can do is resign yourself to waiting.  This is withdrawal

 

are a few little things for you to print out

 

Don't give up on your healing. I know it's difficult to remain hopeful because everyday you struggle with the torture of the intense and bizarre symptoms and it seems as if nothing is changing. So I am here to be the rational, "non-withdrawal" voice in your head and to remind you of the reality : that no matter how long it is taking, this challenge is temporary. One day you will wake up and something will be different. It will be more than a "window", it will be the long-awaited break, the last lap, the finishing line in view.

Then it will be over, and you will be able to navigate your way out from under the rubble, brush yourself off, pick up the pieces and get on with your life.

What awaits you on the other side is worth you holding on for. Nothing in life will ever again faze you. You will have a different perspective on life, and it won't take much to make you feel content. 

 

 

When withdrawal anxiety is high and I am in 'fight' or 'flight'

or 'freeze' mode, it is difficult for me to be grounded and to

maintain perspective. I lose sight of the fact that this

experience is temporary and that it is leading me to my long-

awaited recovery. I am consumed with what is happening

and it can make me seem self-absorbed and uninterested in

my loved ones. This is understandable, as I spend all my time and energy

managing the bizarre symptoms, breathing through the pain,

and holding on for dear life. I miss important moments in

the lives of those around me and I also overlook just how

courageous and persevering I have been and continue to be.

So today, I acknowledge my strength and I accept that while

I may spend much of my time consumed with coping, this

does not mean that I am self-centered or selfish. I am just

hypervigilant in the context of being constantly aware of my

symptoms, and of my environment, always looking for

perceived threats. I know that I will revert to normal when

this is over. am compassionate and gentle with myself, in the

meantime, knowing that no matter how intense and

overwhelming my symptoms are, I will cope well. I trust that

eventually I will begin to notice improvements and when the

timing is right for me, this challenge will end with my

recovery.

 

 

 

[Ninabird]

48 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Have you done a daily log to see if you are reacting to a drug?

I did. Alostrata suggested that the Lex and Cym could be interacting with each other so she had me move the Cymbalta up one hour every day until I got to a noon dose. 

[Ninabird]

49 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I can relate to feeling a little panicked about all this--so hard to fully comprehend how awful you can feel.. sometimes I am totally hit with how unreal this all is.   

Granted I was not doing well to begin with but I could push through...lately everything has intensified since I attempted the switch to liquid lex. The only thing I can guess is that the last two switches caused a surge in symptoms? 

[Ninabird]

53 minutes ago, Greatful said:

as Baylissa Frederick says 

Acceptance/a mindfulness approach 

Imagine that you are on your way home.  You know without doubt you will arrive.  You look ahead and notice there is a massive traffic jam.  You are stuck.  There is no way out but through.  All you can do is resign yourself to waiting.  This is withdrawal

 

I made an appointment with her for the 8th of June. 

[Greatful]

@Ninabird  Wow I will be waiting to see how it goes for you and what she has to say...Is this a therapy session or Withdrawal support?

 

You might want to keep a daily log to see if you might be having a ADR from on on your pills.

[Ninabird]

@Greatful

 

Thank you for the print outs. That was very nice of you. I was chatting w/ @chlo and I suggested Face timing. I'm up for it if you gals are. 

 

I am so glad you are coming out of a rough week!

 

NB

[Ninabird]

Just now, Greatful said:

You might want to keep a daily log to see if you might be having a ADR from on on your pills.

I will. Honestly, not much I can do if it is. I will have to slooooooooow taper regardless, right? 

[Ninabird]

1 minute ago, Greatful said:

Wow I will be waiting to see how it goes for you and what she has to say...Is this a therapy session or Withdrawal support?

 

I'm not sure. In a perfect world it would be for both and it would be FREE. 🙂

[Chlo]

51 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

@Greatful

 

Thank you for the print outs. That was very nice of you. I was chatting w/ @chlo and I suggested Face timing. I'm up for it if you gals are. 

 

I am so glad you are coming out of a rough week!

 

NB

I don't have FaceTime,  only messenger. Would that work for y'all?

[LunaLex]

Hey lovely human. I wanted to pop in. I have been keeping an eye on your thread and I've seen how much you are struggling, but since I have also been in my worst wave (spent my whole birthday crying!) since month one I was worried I would add to negative thoughts. 

 

But I wanted to offer what I have been trying to tell myself, because I also  am in the "Is this an adverse reaction what is causing this how do I make it stop or when??" place you seem to be in right now.

 

Its terrifying, I know it is, when things are really hard and you don't know why or for how long. Your situation could be due to moving things, or changing to liquid and changing back.. But maybe its hormones, or the weather, maybe something else entirely! 

 

I think all we can do when it is like this is write notes, try and look for patterns, take it day by day and wait to see if something comes up. Breathe. Be okay with crying - I know it is awful but sometimes a hard cry makes symptoms a little better, I find, for a while. Or at least easier to cope with. Be kind to yourself. 

 

I hope today is a little easier. 

[Pollyjay]

Ninabird, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It sounds like the changes you've been making may have upset your equilibrium a bit. I don't know about you but I find the crying makes me so weak and depleted. It's just exhausting. I will be praying that you start to have a lift in your mood and see some brightness in your day.

 

Gosh, the quotes that @Greatfulposted are so spot on. I'm going to print them out. Thank Greatful!

 

Ninabird I'm going to drop you a pm right now. I've been struggling a bit and not really able to connect or keep up with everyone's progress. So please forgive me if I don't always respond or leave comments right away. 

 

Sending big HUGGGS your way!

 

Pollyjay

 

[Ninabird]

Yesterday was a much better day. 
6:30 woke w anxiety (5) 

took .25mg Klonopin

7:30 anxiety (4)

took 10mg Lexapro .50 estradiol

7:30 Green smoothly (spinach, celery, apple, carrots and coconut water) 

8:30 anxiety, ringing in ear 

9:30 anxiety (2) 

11:00 nail appointment (feel ok)

12:00 orthodontic appointment (feel ok) 

1:00 lunch (feel ok) 

2:00 feel ok

3:00 a little bit of a headache, some anxiety bouncing around (2) 

4:00 feel ok some anxiety but very little. 
5:00 sat outside w my dog, watered my plants, read… felt ok

6:30 .25mg Klonopin 

7:00 dinner 

8:00 worked on puzzle ( feel ok) 

9:00 read 

9:45 bed

 

Friday (today) 

6am anxiety (4)

6:30 .25mg Klonopin 

7:30 anxiety (2) 

7:30 Green smoothly ( same ingredients as yesterday) 

7:30 Lexapro 10mg & Estradiol .50mg 

8:30 feel ok. 

[Ninabird]

9:30 showered and felt ok (moments of feeling happy )

10:30 felt anxiety stirring (3)

11:00 feel off a little, pressure in head, tummy feels funny, burning on arms like I have a sunburn

12:00 30 mg Duoloxetine

1:00 feel off still, anxiety (4)

2:00 anxiety is calming down (2) head still feels weird ( moment of feeling happy)

3:00 feel off still, eyes burning and lightly bloodshot

4:00 Ears ringing, eyes tired and burning, anxiety (2)

5:00 light buzzing in my body, ears ringing, mildly anxious, hard to laugh (this is weird)

6:00 body feels calm, head has pressure in it, ringing ears

 

[Ninabird]

@Frogie

Morning. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Rougher than usual. I attempted going to liquid Lexapro to resume my taper only to find that I couldn’t tolerate the liquid so I switched back to tablets. Then Altostrata had me move my Cymbalta to the afternoon as she suspected that the Lexapro and Cymbalta being taken together could be clashing and attributing to my symptoms. Since then I’ve had increased symptoms. Ringing in ears, pressure in my head, burning sensations, sadness, DP/DR ( they don’t last but a few minutes ) sensitivity to wind on my body, focus issues, anxiety, buzzing in my body. 
could this be from the two changes or could I be having a negative reaction to the meds? 
I put two days of notes in the log for Altostrata and haven’t heard anything from her. I understand that mods have their own lives, jobs, stresses too. The last two weeks have really frightened me and was hoping for insight as to what is going on.  🙏🏻

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

Did you just switch from pill form to liquid, or did you make a change over? 3/4 pill 1/4 liquid for a week, 1/2 pill and 1/2 liquid for a week, 1/4 pill and 3/4 liquid for a week, then full liquid? Then hold a good 6 weeks or so before you make any other changes. If you didn't do a gradual change it could affect you also.

 

You never want to make 2 changes at the same time because that could add to your symptoms also.

 

You want to make sure you take your medications at least 2 hours apart from each other also. And moving one an hour each day until you have it at the time where you want it. Sos if you took it at 10pm, you would take it at 9pm, the next night at 8pm, etc. until you get it to the time you need it. If you just stopped taking it at let's say 10pm and started it at 2pm, that can cause symptoms.

 

You may just have to ride them out now because now you have changed the times.

[Ninabird]

6 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

@Ninabird

 

Did you just switch from pill form to liquid, or did you make a change over? 3/4 pill 1/4 liquid for a week, 1/2 pill and 1/2 liquid for a week, 1/4 pill and 3/4 liquid for a week, then full liquid? Then hold a good 6 weeks or so before you make any other changes. If you didn't do a gradual change it could affect you also.

 

I didn’t know about the gradual switch until I had taken a full dose of the liquid. To answer your question, it was a direct switch. 

[Frogie]

Let your body stabilize back on the pill and you could try to change over to the liquid slowly and see how you do. It is so much easier to measure.

 

But that is your decision.

[Ninabird]

8 minutes ago, Frogie said:

You want to make sure you take your medications at least 2 hours apart from each other also. And moving one an hour each day until you have it at the time where you want it. Sos if you took it at 10pm, you would take it at 9pm, the next night at 8pm, etc. until you get it to the time you need it. If you just stopped taking it at let's say 10pm and started it at 2pm, that can cause symptoms.

This I did an hour a day until I got to 12pm. 
I normally took all my meds at 7:30 am then my eve Klonopin at 6:30. It took me 5 days to move my dose. 

[Ninabird]

1 minute ago, Frogie said:

Let your body stabilize back on the pill and you could try to change over to the liquid slowly and see how you do. It is so much easier to measure.

I agree with it being so much easier to measure. I will eventually try the liquid again and do it slowly. Do most do alright in the liquid? 
 

I have a really dumb question. I’ve read about stabilising. I’m just not understanding. HOW do you know when you have stabilised? The article just isn’t making sense. 
 

At the beginning of my WD my symptoms changed by the half hour, then hour, now it’s every few hours. W the uptick in intensity of symptoms how will I know when I’ve stabilised enough to resume my Lexapro taper? 
 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

That great you moved your meds slowly. You just need to hold until you stabilize now.

 

WD normal is different for everyone. Here is a link that might help:

 

Withdrawal Normal Description

 

[Ninabird]

21 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

WD normal is different for everyone. Here is a link that might help:

I’ve read this article multiple times. Either I’m just not very smart 🤪 or I’m truly not understanding how I’ll feel when I’ve stabilised to the point I can resume my taper. 
I apologise in advance for being a pain. Truly. 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

You are not stupid. It took me a long time to understand it too.

 

When I felt "WD normal", I didn't feel normal like we would if we weren't tapering these meds, but I felt like my body had settled down and I wasn't experiencing any new symptoms and my symptoms were leveled off and I could deal with life. That's what my WD normal felt like.

 

So you might still have symptoms, but they aren't worse and you have leveled off where you feel like you could go for a walk, take a shower, go for a drive, grocery shopping. Just everyday life activities.

 

Does that make sense?

[Ninabird]

8 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

So you might still have symptoms, but they aren't worse and you have leveled off where you feel like you could go for a walk, take a shower, go for a drive, grocery shopping. Just everyday life activities.

I perform everyday life activities even though I feel awful everyday. 
 

I know I need to listen to Getofflex and wait a few weeks before I resume the lex taper because of the two recent changes. 
 

Thank you very much for your help. I really appreciate it. 
 

NB 

[Ninabird]

@Frogie

i just want to thank you for your kindness. I know all of you Mods are paid volunteers and some have been doing this for a very long time. Thank you for treating me like I’m just as important as the first. For those going through WD the first time it’s terribly frightening and all we desperately want is to get better and get in w our lives. We have questions, fears and it helps tremendously to have someone like you responding and caring. From the bottom of my Italian heart, I thank you. 
NB

[Chlo]

3 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

@Frogie

i just want to thank you for your kindness. I know all of you Mods are paid volunteers and some have been doing this for a very long time. Thank you for treating me like I’m just as important as the first. For those going through WD the first time it’s terribly frightening and all we desperately want is to get better and get in w our lives. We have questions, fears and it helps tremendously to have someone like you responding and caring. From the bottom of my Italian heart, I thank you. 
NB

Well said @Ninabird Love you!

[Ninabird]

1 minute ago, Chlo said:

Love you

Love you right back @Chlo

[Greatful]

@Ninabird

Your right this is scary and well almost unreal.

I did the change over to liquid and it does make it easier to measure.

 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

You are very welcome.

 

It is very frightening, I was in your position. I wanted help, I didn't understand and I was so, so scared. Everyone on here was kind and caring.

 

I'm glad I can pay it forward and help other members such as yourself.

 

Don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions.