mirage tapering from Wellbutrin 150XL

[RusTW]

 this anxiety is scaring me. My body feels like it needs rest but I'm all revved up I can't sit still like I normally do. Normally before work I can lay around and relax a little bit and not have the anxiety but it's so bad today it's almost unbearable. It's weird it'll rev up and then go down rev up and go down.

[RusTW]

 do you ever get the anxiety where it's all encompassing. This all started the other day when I had the headache and the dizziness my ears are ringing and I feel foggy headed. I keep yawning for no reason. This is tough

[jonnypeters1234567]

I have been having that rustw, with head pressure and brain dead feeling. It does pass

[RusTW]

18 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

I have been having that rustw, with head pressure and brain dead feeling. It does pass

 

18 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

I have been having that rustw, with head pressure and brain dead feeling. It does pass

jonnypeters1234567 thanks it seem like you are improving a little.good job.

[mirage]

@RusTWI understand the strength of the anxiety. It is awful. When ever my anxiety gets bad, the dizziness gets worse and the worse those symptoms get the worse the brain fog gets. For me, they all go hand in hand and i'm not sure which one fuels the other or vise versa. 

 

You are struggling now but at any time it could all calm down or even go away so try and keep yourself calm. 

[RusTW]

33 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

 

33 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

 

 

[RusTW]

 you are a beacon of light Mirage thanks for reminding me of that because it is so true it does come and go. This mental fog thing is hard to deal with it makes it hard to concentrate. I'm getting ready for work now so hopefully the work day will help me see past this. How are you doing so far today

[mirage]

@RusTWWhen my head gets so foggy, I have to tell myself to take a deep breath and take everything slow. I have to give, even the simplest of things, great and careful thought. It is okay to take the evening slow and easy. Slow and steady wins the race. 
 

Having a yuck day. Not terrible but for sure not good. I got through the dental appt with no problem, which was great and I went to the grocery store after that. However, as the day has gone on, I have a bad headache and I feel, just odd. I felt tired so laid down. The nap thing never works for me with this journey. I laid on the couch and I could hear everything going on but when I looked at my phone, an hour had gone by. It is that conscious state of sleep. So weird. I just can't fall asleep deep.

 

Speaking of sleep, I read your earlier post about feeling tired and yawning. I get that often and I describe it as my body being completely fatigued but not feeling that, tired feeling, like you need to lay down and sleep. And, if I did lay down, it would be that light, conscious state of sleep. It is like the system wants to sleep but it can't shut down enough to do it. So the fatigue sets in. Does that make any sense?

[RusTW]

Mirage= let's pray for this to b over soon. My symptoms have been changing so much lately. I know that feeling you're talking about when you're laying down trying to take a nap these last two or three days I couldn't even get into that relaxed feeling I just feel all amped up and sketchy. It feels like in the back of my spine I have speakers built into it and any sound I hear comes out my back super loud. I'm getting to that point now where I'm just getting too frustrated trying to take a nap. Rosetta calls them toxic naps. Off I go I got my game face on. I'll let you know how it goes in a little while take some rest if you can and treat yourself good.

[mirage]

@RusTWI understand everything you are saying. I pray twice a day and always include you. 

 

I like what Rosetta calls those naps, toxic naps. So true. I never feel better when I get up from them. Not sure why I even bother. 

 

Keep the game face tonight and get through. I'll say a prayer that you get a break from these symptoms. 

[RusTW]

Lol I realized I'm a better worker when I have the anxiety and nausea.staying busy.I have to say these headaches are moving around in my head.not your typical type.what causes it.I notice the last time was from doing too much.I'm going to slow down.

[mirage]

@RusTWCarry on friend. If nothing else, the staying busy at work helps tire the body a little so maybe you will have better sleep tonight. 

[RusTW]

I've noticed sounds and smells are super strong.I got a whiff of fresh bread and was nauseous today.I dropped 10 mg of zoloft last few days .Rosetta reminded me not. Too much or too fast.took her advice holding at current doses.

Bless her.

[mirage]

@RusTWI notice that I am oversensitive to light, sounds and smells. Although all of that is getting better. Dang it is too bad that the smell of fresh bread made you nauseous. Or, for me, that might be good. I could eat a lot of fresh baked bread and I shouldn't. lol

 

Rosettas advice sounds like a good idea. Again, slow and steady wins the race.

[RusTW]

 I'm on a small road trip driving seems to help a little bit. I knew I should have came into work yesterday and the guilt of not working adds on to the anxiety. It was strange today the bread didn't smell good to me and normally I'm super hungry for it for my sandwich everyday. Today I didn't feel like eating much which is odd. I did take a Benadryl last night which I normally don't I needed it to sleep so I was super tired still wired. I think the Benadryl affects me the next day stays in my system for a while. In the beginning of this I found a medication that was used for nausea and anxiety that was antihistamine so I take that if I'm desperate it's called promethazine. I'm kind of reserved now when it comes to antihistamines because Seroquel and Zoloft are antihistamines

[mirage]

@RusTWdriving is a good thing. When I feel my dizziest I sometimes just get in my car and drive because I don't feel the motion as much and it gives you something else to set your mind on. It is relaxing and calming. 

 

When I take Benadryl, a half of one works well for me. I took Remeron which is an antihistamine but I only took it for about 4 months so I think my body didn't have enough time to have problems with it. I always go to bed without taking it and I keep it as a last resort and, some nights, after several hours of tossing and turning, I end up having to take it. Getting our sleep back will be so wonderful! Another thing I took for granted. It was always easy for me to fall asleep and I never really had any trouble when I didn't get enough sleep. Now, my system is so fragile that it effects everything. 

 

I understand why you would want to be cautious with the antihistamines. Best to play it conservatively. 

 

 

 

[RusTW]

 I'm having the same issue falling asleep now over the last few nights. I'm assuming it's the anxiety that's happening hopefully. Thank God you didn't get much withdraw from Remeron. I've taken that stuff before and boy it strong. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting a mild bit of insomnia now also with the rest of these symptoms. I'm starting to get worried that I won't be able to sleep at some point and it's going to aggravate my symptoms. I've been thinking about these headaches I've been having over the last couple days. maybe about a week or two ago I had them I also had pretty bad waves at that time so I think I'm just going through another wave . the waves have changed though . more intense in some ways less intense than others.

[RusTW]

 I was reading some of your past post it's amazing how far you've come. Seems like you've been through quite a bit of anxiety too.My doctor warned me that if I try to get away from the Zoloft that the anxiety is going to come back. My anxiety seemed to surface about 4 months after my father passed away. So I don't think I ever really had problems with the anxiety Until then. Then I think the medications Amplified it.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Are you taking any supplements Rus

[mirage]

@RusTW Good morning and ugh...morning. So hard for me. How was work last night? Hope it went well and the anxiety stayed low.

 

The symptoms in my waves are changing as well. They are just as strong and rough but things are different. 

 

I do think some of my withdrawal symptoms are from the fast wean from the Remeron. However, I was already so ill from the ct from Wellbutrin that, at that point, it didn't really matter. I didn't know much about Remeron. I stayed clear from reading about it. It just didn't help me and I had other problems that arose like restless leg syndrome, which, I never had before taking it. 

 

I had terrible, heart pounding out of my chest, anxiety when all of this started and it stayed with me for the first 8 to 10 months. It has really been pretty recently that it is easing up a bit. But, prior to this, I never had any type of anxiety. You mentioned that you didn't have anxiety until your dad passed? One thing that makes me sad about the entire med thing is that, we as human beings, will have so many emotions in our life time and they will be good and bad, happy and sad and they will come and go. What drs do is give us the band aid, aka, meds. They don't try to get to the heart of why we have the emotions or symptoms we have and they don't reason with us that this is normal and part of being human and that there are things we can do to work through it in a healthy way. So your dad passing is an emotional, life altering event. It would be impossible for you to not have any type of emotional response to it. Why do drs think we should not feel? It is impossible for us to not feel. To not cry. To not hurt. To not have anxiety, ect. All of this is part of living and life will not go perfect for all of us, all of the time. We need to learn to adapt and over come. Not be drugged. 

 

All of that said, I do not fault my dr who gave me the med. It was given to help with pms symptoms, moodiness, feeling emotional ect. She talked to me about it like I would be taking an advil every day. I never did any homework on it. Just filled the script and took it. Each year when I went back for my appt with her she would ask how i'm doing and I was always doing fine. So she would refill my script for another year. Never did she talk to me about not being on it long term or needing to wean. I'm not sure how much she herself really knew about the true effects of the med. After all, she was an obgyn not a psychiatrist. So these meds were not her expertise for sure. 

 

I guess the point I am trying to make to you is, your anxiety that came after your dads passing was a normal, healthy response to a sad event. It is just how your body reacted. Therefore, you may not have it after you get well from this journey. Time is passing since your fathers death. You are gaining knowledge about a lot of things and you are learning to accept it and to move forward. It is not the same forward because a death takes us down a different road than the one we were traveling prior to it. But, that doesn't mean the new road will be bad. It just means that it will be bumpy and curvy in the beginning but eventually, it will level out and you will be okay. 

 

This journey has now changed our path again and, again, our road has turned. Right now it is bumpy and curvy. But, eventually, it will all level out. 

 

On another note, I had the usual nights sleep. Went to bed around 11. Tossed and turned until around 12 30. Got up and took the half of Benadryl. Slept until a smidge before 5. (I try not to look at the clock but my husbands alarm goes off at 5am. He plays hockey a couple of mornings a week and I woke up just before his alarm). But...today was the first day EVER, that I fell back asleep and slept deep. Woke up around 7 30. My sleep pattern has been changing so I am praying it is attempting to become more normal and stable. 

 

Sorry for the long message. Just had to share. We are going to be whole again. 

 

 

 

 

[RusTW]

Good

 morning Mirage thanks for the thoughtful message. I kind of did the same thing with the doctors I just took the medications thinking that they would help out not really knowing about coming off or when to come off. I slept okay last night for about 5 hours had the headache when I went to bed it's gone this morning. I'm getting her up around 7 and trying to lay around for a couple hours to rest my body. My stomach is gurgling and I have the anxiety this morning. I had about an hour last night window from the anxiety. That's good news that you were able to go back to sleep this morning. Did you do that without taking a Benadryl. When you wake up do you have that nervousness in your stomach or do you feel nervous and are you able to just sleep past it

[RusTW]

 I think you being able to go back to sleep is a great sign of your healing.

[RusTW]

7 hours ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Are you taking any supplements Rus

JP =yes I take b complex/ multi vitamin and vit c

[RusTW]

Today I feel  that Restless anxiety. My body feels tired but I know I got to get up and go do something. I go through this every day where I get up late around a little bit go take my walk and go to the gym . the downtime in between is where I get bad. that's what I'm not sure what to do with my time because when I have the free time to rest or relax it's not usually good I'm always anxious or have nausea or some type of symptom where I can't relax. I don't look forward to that down time because that's when I feel the symptoms the most . what do you think's a good idea on how to deal with this. I feel like I've kind of falling off track over the last 3 days because of this wave I just can't seem to get myself going or motivated. I feel some depression with some of my thoughts.

[RusTW]

2 hours ago, RusTW said:

JP =yes I take b complex/ multi vitamin and vit c

JP do u take them. What kind and what dosage

.

[mirage]

@RusTW Finally catching up. Glad to hear you had a window at work last night and sorry to hear about the head ache and symptoms today. Never a dull moment with this journey...unfortunately! 

 

I'm with you on keeping myself busy. It does help. I just spent a few hours running around getting some things my youngest needs to take back with him to college. He will be heading back in about a week. It is so weird that the summer has flown by. Sad that it went fast but happy to have days of healing behind me and hoping that we are one day closer to having our health back. 

 

Sounds like you are in a wave. It is so difficult to remember that we felt better before the wave. We absolutely know our symptoms weren't as awful but we just can't remember the good. The waves are so strong and rough that they over shadow the memory of a window. Try and keep in mind that a window will come and it could be at any time and that this wave is healing. Each and every day is healing. Try and stay calm and remember that . Healing, healing, healing. 

 

It seems that some people have a pattern to their waves and windows. I don't seem to. Either one can come at any time and last for any amount of time. Mine just happen. 

 

Going to head out tonight with the friends that we go out with every Friday. Last Friday was a short night for us. I really felt bad and it was just too tough being out. I'll see how tonight goes. I don't feel well, ever, but I make it a point to go. Actually, it is going to be a busy weekend. I am wedding dress shopping with my niece all day tomorrow and then we have a dinner reservation with other friends for a birthday celebration for one of them tomorrow night. Sunday and Monday will be take it easy days and then it will be back to work on Tuesday. 

 

What does your weekend look like? 

 

 

[RusTW]

 Mirage it's nice you're helping family prepare for school and for marriage. I think it helps out when we help other people. I have a feeling you're going to feel good tonight out at dinner. I hope you feel good tonight. This weekend for me I'm going to go to my mom's house and help out around the yard mow the lawn and help her clean up a little bit and then just work mostly. It's a hundred degrees here today. Today after walking I actually sat down at the park for a half an hour and just kind of force myself to be calm. It seemed to help out the exercise and just sitting there trying to be peaceful I don't feel so bad now. Getting ready for work tonight kind of had a mild anxiety like too much coffee but it's not so bad as yesterday.

[RusTW]

Mirage read this its great inspiration https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7761-☼-aeroman-hello-from-aeroman/?st=0

 

[mirage]

@RusTWThank you for the kind words and support. 

 

It is good to help people. I do love to be able to do that. Sounds like you are that way as well. Won't it be great when we can actually, truly, feel the joy and excitement of doing it, instead of putting on the happy face and having to hide the symptoms?! It is great that you are helping your mom. Be careful with the heat. Make sure you stay hydrated. 

 

Thank you for sending me the link. VERY INSPIRING! We need to read that often. Almost 4 years for him to feel pretty normal. We will heal and we are on our way friend! We truly are! 

 

I pray for you to have a good night and for symptoms to stay low. Stay strong. 

 

[RusTW]

You have a good night too.hope all goes well. Right before work I started sweating really bad and then went into another window does seem to be a pattern that usually before my windows, I start sweating a lot very strange

[RusTW]

Hi Mirage how are you today.I didn't sleep much.

[RusTW]

 hope you're having a good day today.how was your evening .

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

how are you Rus?

 

bed ridden here with most symptoms

[RusTW]

21 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

how are you Rus?

 

bed ridden here with most symptoms

Sorry JP hang in there buddy.I'm going thrue mini waves all day.pushing myself to get out.didn't sleep much last night.

[Rosetta]

On July 26, 2018 at 3:38 PM, mirage said:

@RusTWWhen my head gets so foggy, I have to tell myself to take a deep breath and take everything slow. I have to give, even the simplest of things, great and careful thought. It is okay to take the evening slow and easy. Slow and steady wins the race. 
 

Having a yuck day. Not terrible but for sure not good. I got through the dental appt with no problem, which was great and I went to the grocery store after that. However, as the day has gone on, I have a bad headache and I feel, just odd. I felt tired so laid down. The nap thing never works for me with this journey. I laid on the couch and I could hear everything going on but when I looked at my phone, an hour had gone by. It is that conscious state of sleep. So weird. I just can't fall asleep deep.

 

Speaking of sleep, I read your earlier post about feeling tired and yawning. I get that often and I describe it as my body being completely fatigued but not feeling that, tired feeling, like you need to lay down and sleep. And, if I did lay down, it would be that light, conscious state of sleep. It is like the system wants to sleep but it can't shut down enough to do it. So the fatigue sets in. Does that make any sense?

 

The deeper sleep will eventually come back.  It's hard to live without it.  I used Unisom to keep from losing my mind, but I quit using it because I didn't know if it was causing problems or not.  

 

I hope you are doing ok, mirage. 

[mirage]

@RusTWHi. Been gone all day today. This is the first day I had a very full day of activity. Left the house at 8:30am for the day. Had appts at bridal shops for my niece. Went with all of the girls in the family. She had appts at 9:30, 12:30 and 3:30. We squeezed a lunch in between appts and then hit Old Navy on the way home. My husband and I had a dinner reservation at 6:30 with friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. Just got home about 10pm. I MADE IT! I made it all day! The morning was rough and all throughout the day the dizziness and head/jaw pressure tried to break in. This day was not about me so I was not going to accept the symptoms. I plugged through. I had very little anxiety. All in all, the day was wonderful. We shared a lot of joy and laughter and tears, watching my niece put on these beautiful dresses. I feel like it was yesterday that she was a baby! 

 

I didn't sleep well last night either. I'm sorry you had a rough night. Dang these symptoms!!!! I'm glad you had a window when you went to work last night. It is better to have the windows at work. Makes it easier to do your job and less suffering.To have to worry through these symptoms while at work just adds more anxiety. Did you work tonight?

 

Things will get better. We have to keep looking up and moving forward. Hope you get some sleep tonight and tomorrow brings some brightness.

 

Prayers friend