☼ theelt712: tapering off Zoloft

[Altostrata]

If that is so, you may have sleep apnea. Sometimes putting a foam wedge under the mattress to elevate your head and chest slightly can help this.

[theelt712]

Thank you for the advice. I am uber tired today, tired enough to take a nap and I fell asleep. Le sigh. I did nothing today.

[theelt712]

Update: left shoulder STILL feels squeezed. It moved from the back of the left shoulder blade into my left rotator cuff area...bloating worsens my slow breathing, making it hard to eat but not eating makes everything worse. :/ Stomach hurts, I am very bloated, breathing is slower than usual and I am afraid to sleep.

[Petunia]

..... breathing is slower than usual and I am afraid to sleep.

 

I'm guessing that you are afraid to go to sleep because you think you will stop breathing.  Generally, if people do stop breathing for a few moments in their sleep, the brain wakes them up.  If you really think this is happening, that you might have sleep apnea, maybe you could have a sleep test.

 

But I think its probably increased anxiety from withdrawal, making you more aware or sensitive to all your body sensations.  I'm sorry you are still going through this.

 

Maybe this will help, if you listen to it as you go to sleep:

 

 

Its sleep hypnosis for anxiety.  I used to listen to a lot of her videos when I had problems sleeping, she has a very calm and relaxing voice, so that helps too.

[theelt712]

Thank you, Petu. I raised my pillows and head/chest up and I did get a full night of sleep. I do have a family history of sleep apnea. It sucks. Feeling a little better, although short of breath a lot with a lump in my chest that, makes me burp a lot. It felt like squeezing in my chest today, scary.

[theelt712]

Thinking about life. Why does it have to be this way? A year ago, I was fine. I cannot see the road to ok now. I feel as if I am suffering. As much as I want strong emotion back, I am afraid of it. My emotions are very intense, very deep and hard to manage. All I wanted a year ago was to be numb, and now all I want is emotion. But I am afraid of it.

[amiss]

I know how that feels. I want it back so bad but I realize that I can't handle emotions. Emotions result in depression and anxiety and DP/DR. But now we know it's better to suffer emotions than suffer the lack of them.

I took a lot of drugs and drank to 'take the edge off' when I was young, for some kind of inner peace. But you can't have heaven without hell and we're in purgatory like... pagan babies. 

 

I didn't know this kind of numbness was even possible. 

[theelt712]

Same here. Uggh. It feels like everyday is hell. I feel exhausted and DPd right now, partially due to womanly issues. I hate my life. I mean, I did have some semblance of emotion when I thought about losing everyone I love. I never really took drugs before Zoloft, only caffeine and nicotine. Nicotine for a short while. Withdrawal from nicotine sucks, btw.

[theelt712]

Well, I get breathless and bloated after doing almost anything. When I do not eat, I get bad acid reflux and when I burp, it feels like someone is squeezing my chest. I also become breathless. And when I am done eating, the symptoms abate a little bit but I still get breathless and bloated. It is hard to do activity like this. Sitting down also abates the symptoms.

[theelt712]

My breathing is so slow and light that it freaks me out. It almost feels like I am not breathing at all, and I have no idea if my breathing is supposed to be that slow and/or unnoticeable. I wish I could just stop being worried.

[theelt712]

Three months off today,everyone. Three freaking months! I have no idea what will happen. Still dealing with miderate to severe anhedonia with minor improvements.

[alex]

Heeellooo T!

3 months already?

Well, for what I've learned about this process, 3 months "could" not be much but, as I have told before;you were on the drug a very short time, and you have shown important improvement, so most likely that you will be ok pretty soon

Hang in there T! all the skills that you are learning to cope with this difficult time will be very valuable in your future.Your drug free future.

 

Hugs, A.

[theelt712]

IKR? That was my first tought. It does not feel like three months. Thank you.

[alex]

What does IKR mean??

[theelt712]

Sorry for the text lingo. IKR=I know, right?

[alex]

Sorry for the text lingo. IKR=I know, right?

 

Oky Doky

[theelt712]

Today has been ok aside from breathing worries. I go back to school tomorrow, so I will not be on as much. I spent a lot of time today preparing my backpack, cleaning, and doing laundry. Too much anticipation. I see my boyfriend tomorrow, hopefully. He may not come- he is still recoverimg from a brain injury but is mostly healed. I hope he goes, a lot. Again, too much anticipation. The daydreaming goes on.

[Petunia]

I hope you have a great first day back

[theelt712]

The first day of school was a bit of a drag. I got to see my loving boyfriend, who I endear very much. However, he is not in a lot of my classes. None of my close friends are. I think this is a sign the anhedonia is breaking- I miss them all. Today is weird, I felt a little excited and blunted happiness and now I feel blunted sadness- I almost cried listening to lyrics today. I feel tired, my muscles are crampy and ache, my breathing is slow and I am afraid I may have heart problems, my upper left arm is crampy. I feel what I can call sad and empty. Classes were too quiet, my mom came home with a headache and the isolation makes me afraid. At least I saw my boyfriend.

[theelt712]

Nothing feels familiar. A lot of friends of mine are not in my classes when they were last school year, my boyfriend and I do not have as many classes as I wish we did and I am still DRing. I woke up at five with excitement and anxiety. Now, I am so tired that I could pass out right now. And pass out I may.

[theelt712]

The second day of school was...bad, but as much as yesterday. I got breathless, had heart symptoms, almost got dizzy and at one point got hit with so much fatigue in math that I almost passed out. My boyfriend is...sick and not at school. Uggh. And rumors are being spread. I started reading a book today and didn't feel anything but I can still picture all the scenes. Odd.

[theelt712]

I feel like my breathing has slowed dangerously. I do not want to tell my mom in fear that she will flip out on me and try to force me to to take Ativan. My pulse is weaker than usual. I do have a lot of concerns. My mom would force me to walk o the hospital, which usually worsens this symptom.

[theelt712]

My mom is still really sick...uggh. Things are really boring, my boyfriend is still sick so I do not expect to see him in class tomorrow. I miss when my world was magical. I live day to day, with recent muscle cramps and fatigue making me feel like I was hit by a 2x4, as one bored person. My mood is not numb, at least not as bad as it used to be, but just a perpetual boredom where nothing is all that interesting. Blah. Until recovery takes over...

[Karma]

Hi T

 

I remember when I was in school (yeah I do remember that long ago  ) ... and I had certain classes I looked forward to because there were cute guys in those classes  .  I was all about the boys! I wasn't always interested in the subject, but I did enjoy the people.  Ironically I was nearly a straight A student even if I didn't care for the subject ... if I had known about caffeine I swear I could have gotten straight A's in all of my subjects ... but in those first classes of the morning I would often start to fall asleep.  Now that I'm an adult and I know that I have/had a thyroid problem I do wonder if that was the problem way back then.

 

You just have to do your best and look for anything at all that amuses you or gives you enjoyment in your classes.  You could make some new friends ... not to replace the existing friends, but just to have more friends.

 

Mucscle cramping, fatigue, and if you have any heart palpitations ... well, that sounds like an electrolyte imbalance.  A doctor could determine whether that was the case or not with a simple blood test called a CMP or comprehensive metabolic panel.  Among other things it gives potassium and sodium and if those are out of balance you would have any of these symptoms.  Resolving it is a relatively simple matter of either adding unrefined sodium or long acting potassium depending on where the imbalance is.

 

Your symptoms could just be due to sleep apnea, not getting enough sleep and/or anxiety associated with withdrawing from Zoloft.  You will get better.

 

Karma

[theelt712]

I have no idea what to do but I woke up STILL feeling like crap. Almost flu like. It is debilitating. I had a nap today and I woke up really tired. I do not feel like doing anything and I am afraid.

[theelt712]

Also, I almost passed out today. I had Vitamin Water, eating a pretzel, but seriously considering ER if I continue to feel like this.

[alex]

What you describe is w/d.

Try not to panic.

It will get better, trust me; and trust your resilient body.

 

Hugs, A.

[theelt712]

I am trying. My heart beat/HR often feels irregular as well, and I get chest spasms, which scares me a lot.

[Skyler]

Hi The... It does sound like you are having panic attacks.  I'm wondering if you have read anything about them?  Doing so might ease some of your anxiety about them.

[theelt712]

I have had a lot of panic attacks but these symptoms last all day, pretty much. Now I feel faint. I keep mouth breathing, and the last time this happened, I was in the ER.

[theelt712]

I am in a really bad wave right now. I am DPing having all sorts of muscle spasms, breathing so slow that it freaks me out and really bad fatigue. The fatigue eased a bit today, as I was able to do more work and focus more than I did last week, but nonetheless this is probably my worst wave yet. I miss my deep emotion the most. Uggh.

[Skyler]

The, forgive me if this is off topic somewhat, but on average, how much sleep are you getting at night?

[theelt712]

Not a whole lot. Typically I wake up 2-3 times a night.

[Skyler]

But you are usually getting 5 or better on average?  If not, how much do you estimate you get..

[theelt712]

Usually 6-7 hours, I am currently awake after a nightmare.

[Skyler]

K... I was wondering because I had muscle twitching associated with sleep deprivation, but I had NO or one hour, not six to seven.  You are actually doing well on that front, all things considered.  Though I'm sure you would like to have a better quality.

 

Hope your day today is good.