Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I again remembered how I was in mental hospital. I went there from my free will after withdrawal started as I was afraid of these bad thoughts to children. On the second day I wanted to go home. But I still can not forget this how they caught me and said "from now on it is not voluntary" and bound me to bed. I screamed the whole time that I did not do anything, I just want to go home with the children. I shouted on them "what if something like this someone would do with their relatives" but noone listened to me. They tried to give me Temesta. I spat it out. And they just took injection and and put me it to my leg as I could not move. I will never forget it the whole my life how less value the human being has in the mental institutions. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I think I will have from it trauma whole my life. I just can not put it behind me. Maybe because I still have the symptoms. First they wanted to put me to other hospital, where are people who are mentally ill, I was sitting there in the hall and some of them came and started to shout something which noone understood in the middle of the hall. Other woman came in and just stared at me. I got such a panic. Then the doctor came, said there is no room from me, that they are not withdrawal hotel and wanted to gave me risperidone. That it helps. I have never taken it as I was afraid that I might get psychosis if I take it. I dont know why this all came now to my mind. I think it is haunting me in the moment. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I have such tingling in my head. Does it everybody have? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Martina, you are very beautiful on your picture I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Not so much as you. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 These doctors are really assh*les. She refused to give me 25 mg package, that she can give me only 50 mg package as I got it prescribed. I dont know what to do. I thought I might drink 50 percent today,put to the ref and drink 50 percent tommorrow. Another solution I dont see... 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Doctors are jerks!!!!!! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Why will the doctor not give you the 25mg? 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 Because she said I have to go first to psychiatrist and when he approves of that, she will sign and signature the approval of psychiatrist and then I get the package. In Austria it is complicated. The psychiatrist prescribes the medicine, and if it is a controlled substance (which Lyrica is) you have to go also to general practitioner who will put a signature and stamp on it (after asking insurance if he can approve it) and when you have this all, you go to pharmacy and you will get a package. So it is complicated. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 I will try to drink one half on one day and the second on other day. But I will taper off more quickly, because I found out that when I am not taking Lyrica, I also dont have so much these thoughts about running with the knife. When I take Lyrica (egal if 25 or 50) I immediately get so many of these thoughts how I am harming the others or me. And they are much more believable to me. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 I feel so guilty about these harming thoughts. Even I dont want to do anybody anything, and my children absolutely not. But because of these thoughts I feel so inhuman. Like somebody very, very bad. I am so afraid that I will not endure the withdrawal and end again on the psychiatry. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Flowers Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Martina - I can't imagine you ever harming your children or anyone else you love. You are a good person. These are just thoughts. I know it is upsetting but surely it is WD making you feel like this. You are trying so hard to be a good mum and work at the same time. I couldn't even begin to do all that you do. Your experience in the hospital must have been horrific for you but do try not to dwell on it. It is in the past now. I wish you a mind free from these thoughts and peace to follow. xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Because she said I have to go first to psychiatrist and when he approves of that, she will sign and signature the approval of psychiatrist and then I get the package. In Austria it is complicated. The psychiatrist prescribes the medicine, and if it is a controlled substance (which Lyrica is) you have to go also to general practitioner who will put a signature and stamp on it (after asking insurance if he can approve it) and when you have this all, you go to pharmacy and you will get a package. So it is complicated.I'm sorry... that stinks. I've heard similar stories about people having difficult times in Europe with having to jump through hoops to get what they need. the US can be the same way...it has gotten worse in the last few years especially. It's a mess. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 5th day at 25 mg - Symptoms: - scary pictures ( today on the way to kindergarten I had a picture of a dwarf ripping of the heads) - I see everywhere knives - what upsets me the most is that when I come home and want to greet children that there comes such bad energy, prior Lyrica withdrawal, the feeling was always positive, I had it again yestedary therefore I assume that 25 mg is still too much for the body that the point where it does not work anymore will be somewhere a bit down the 20 mg, but I must wait at least one month that my tappering is not too much, I believe when I come under 25 mg, these all changes made by the drug can start healing (when I did not take Lyrica for one day, the next day I had positive feeling when I saw the children). I hope that the God is watching over me that I dont do anything bad in the mean time. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
AliG Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Good luck with the taper , Martina. I hope it all goes well. You're sounding a bit more positive. You're a good person, and I'm sure things will continue to improve, as you heal. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 12, 2015 Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 What I forgot to tell, this is something positive, my racing thoughts & pictures in the evening are 50 percent better, I almost dont have any, my mind before falling asleep is like a clear sky. But that is the only positive I have. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Anything positive is fabulous. If the racing thoughts are 50% better than that just proves that you are capable of healing from this. You will HEAL from this and I hope your taper brings about more positive changes for you. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 7 day on 25 mg - symptoms - violent harming thoughts going more, I think they are growing more as by each bigger cut the glutamate levels rise. Until they are cleared by the body, most probably I will have to handle with these thoughts. I am not even sure that they would be resolved, but I am doing my best to do it easier for my body. It is 8 months and still nothing changing. I decided that I continue until it goes, not therefore as i consider it withdrawal. I am not sure even if the withdrawal exists. But I was born without drugs and therefore I want to live without drugs. And I will continue living like this even if I have harming thoughts or GAD or depression. things that went better: 1. racing thoughts in the evening, I can better control my thoughts, they are clearer 2. I feel physically healthy and energetic and actually happy, I want to make sport and to look good, yesterday I bought me after long time first new thing, a new swimsuit, and decided that now I will go swimming almost each day, and when I will have more worked out body, I will buy new clothes, but not the usual black ones, but colourful, tyrquis and blue, violet and red, 3. I find that my thoughts even if some are violent are more human like, they are not already so irrational, as they used to be, it is everything more clear, but I have to lose this violent thoughts as I want my loving thoughts back, I want to be as I was. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
AliG Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Good luck, Martina. I wish the best for you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It is good that you see some improvements, no matter how small. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 I went today running. I never felt so good whole my life. Whole this bad drug energy went away, and I felt like newly born. I will now take a shower, epilate myself, wash my hair and enjoy how the whole body is breathing. So drug free. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wow I am so happy for you enjoy yourself peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 8 day on 25 mg - symptoms: - when I took Lyrica immediately I got scary pictures like fields with people in blood, they take only a few seconds but they scare me, I hope that they are all Lyrica induced and that they disappear when I am on zero - in my head on the right side up there is some place which burns and is as if there was not serotonin there - I assume this contributes to the scary pictures as well - still rage inside (afraid to be with the children alone) and places like perturbances in brain where I feel almost psychotic but till now still only up to 30 seconds not more I think GAD will disappear once I am on zero, I hope depression might also disappear, but with this harm OCD, I dont know. I am scared, but I have no choice other than go through it. positive: I have so much energy that I could run half marathon. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Energy is great Martina. Hang on to that one positive thing. I would love piles of energy. I am sure you will continue to heal in time. The waiting is the hard part. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
direstraits Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 yes,it's great you have lots of energy...wow. I'd give anything for that! went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 14, 2015 Moderator Share Posted June 14, 2015 Hi Martina-- it is so good to hear that you're feeling better. With it coming on so fast and giving you so much energy it is clearly a bit of hypomania. Which is the primary reason people in WD get labeled as bi-polar, which you are not. Please be careful because over exertion or stimulation can bring on a crash back into depression. This is all a part of the windows and waves pattern that we all talk about. Now go for a swim with your kids and enjoy the rest of the day. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 That is not good that I have hypomanie. I thought that I got already something positive. Brassmonkey, and when will I have then something positive if this everything is so negative? When did the depression stop by you? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 I dont want anymore. I am keeping from my last will already for 8 months, and the first positive change I will find is again something negative. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 15, 2015 Moderator Share Posted June 15, 2015 Hypomania is very common in WD and is nothing to be worried about. It is just a fancy way of saying you suddenly have a lot of energy you weren't expecting. I was trying to give you a warning so if you do go to the doctor like you have talked about, he is more than likely to try and label you as bipolar and try to force more meds on you. It is actually a good thing because it means that some of the depression has broken and you body is allowing you to feel good again for a while. It means that the healing is progressing as it should and you are showing sign of getting better. I didn't mean to frighten you. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Brassmonkey, I think you have so many experiences like moderator, can I have some questions (at the moment I need advice): 1. I found out that immediately after I take Lyrica, there come harming thoughts and scary pictures full of blood. Therefore I am sure that the medicament ramps up the anxiety or makes these pictures. I went from 35 mg on 25 mg 9 days ago. Would you stop taking it altogher or continue tapering even if you get these scary pictures? 2. It is 8 months already and in my head there still continue to be only negative emotions. Yesterday we went swimming with the children and once I felt so much this negative energy even if I know I love them that I feel than so sad. I am trying to do it without hospital because before withdrawal I did not have such negative thoughts, but I am already at my wits end. How long does it take generally that the general feeling and feelings to people change? These serotonin synapses they can recover, cant they? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 one last question (so altogether 3 questions): 3. Can I after hypomania go out from depression? Or is it that after hypomania there comes always again depression? Sorry, I know that these are many questions. But I dont know it. And to know these things would give me at least a bit feeling of control of situation. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 15, 2015 Moderator Share Posted June 15, 2015 Hi Martina- in the WD business three questions is nothing as there are so many variables involved and each person reacting differently to any give situation. The only way to figure out what is happening to us is to ask questions, sort out the answers and make what we think is the best decision. One problem with questions is that we may not like the answers and some of them may be very frightening. These answers are my opinions based on what I have observed and read and may or may not end up being what happens to you but I hope they will give you some information to make your decisions. 1. It sounds like you have identified Lyrica as causing the negative thoughts. This is excellent because you now know that the thoughts are caused by the drugs and not you. These types of thoughts are very common, especially at the beginning of tapering off of these drugs. Given lots and lots of time and a long slow taper they will diminish and eventually go away. As far as time goes think in terms of glacier not last night snow fall. It has been recommended many times on your thread "do not CT off of the drug". I can't stress this enough. Your body needs time to undo the physical changes that the drugs have caused and they must be undone slowly to minimize the WD symptoms. Unfortunately, this means that the negative thoughts will be with you for a long time as they fad away. There are coping techniques to make it a little easier, but that is another longer post. 2. To the best of anyone's knowledge the synapses do recover. However, these drugs effect every system in the body, which is why the WD symptoms are so varied and unpredictable. Given time the body will repair itself. Eight months is just a beginning in this process. No one likes to hear it, and I will probably catch a lot of grief for saying it, but it is more than likely that you are facing many years of recovery. I, myself, have been tapering for almost four years now. I have almost another year before I can stop taking the Paxil and then I face several unpredictable years of recovery. I find it upsetting, but there is nothing I can do about it but move forward, it's just the way it works. It has been a very unpleasant experience, but it has been a walk in the park compared to the people I know who CTed from smaller doses at the same time I started my taper. It took a little over a year before I really noticed that I was getting better, and by the two year mark I could tell I was going to be alright. 3. I am truly sorry I upset you with the talk of hypomania. It is one of those very unpleasant symptoms that many of us have to deal with and it goes hand in hand with depression. I won't sugar coat what I have learned over the years. Hypomania and depression go in cycles, one after the other after the other after the other. Usually in the beginning the depression is much more common with small bouts of hypomania ( I really prefer "excess energy"). One nice thing I have seen is that the excess energy tends, over time, to mellow to just feeling good and a little energetic. I hope this hasn't frightened you too much, but I truly feel it is better to understand that we are in this for the long haul and there isn't a whole lot we can do about it but survive as best as we can. All people have an incredible amount of inner strength that they don't even know is in there. This is the time to trust yourself, your body and truly believe that deep inside you are a good person and that this person will emerge again. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Ok, I will stay at 25 mg until I feel I can taper again. Thanks Brassmonkey that you took time to answer me. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 10 day on 25 mg - negatives: bigger depression positives: I dont see any knifes (a knife window) Also, I realized today that my obsessive violent thoughts at work are also completely gone. It looks as if the waves start to move into another niveau, they are smaller and in the last 2 weeks I feel actually like in a window. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 God, please if you heal me, I will take my children this sommer for holiday to Jordan and we will visit Jeruzalem and bow before you there. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Frustrated Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I would love to go to Jeruzalem. I would love to go anywhere on vacation. Never been on vacation. I would also love to be healed. God please do heal my friend Martina and if you have more time to spare please do heal me as well. I will not waste my second chance. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
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