j1290: gets off the Wellbutrin and on with life!

February 19, 2023

1 minute ago, Thorin said:

That’s SO good to hear John. I’ve heard you hanging out for that since I joined last year and now your hard work is paying off mate. It’s been an honour to witness and I’ve appreciated our interactions on this journey so much.

Hey, thanks so much, brother! Right back 'atcha!😎 Between you and me, I'm still more fragile than I'd like, but hey, I've come a long way.

4 minutes ago, Thorin said:

I t seems that a huge fear for everyone on here is that they’re making a mistake by coming off meds. Your improvements show you are doing the right thing!

haha this hits close to home! Talked to my therapist about it last week I think. My own criteria is being able to hold down a job. If I can do that, I'll work out the rest with professionals and forget the meds, thank you very much. But we'll see. This chapter of my life is far from over 😂

7 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Man this is a big life event. I like that you’re planning for it and are making sure you’re at the best you can be at this time. I’ve said it before. You’re one tough sob! I’m proud of you man (hope that’s not weird but I’ve become quite attached to some of you)

Thanks so much, man. I don't feel tough and wish I could be soft as butter, if I'm honest, but tapering is not the easier, softer way, so I'll be tough enough for the occasion, I reckon! I feel the same, I've become attached to my tapering possee across the world for sure!

10 minutes ago, Thorin said:

This!!!! I’m excited to see long forgotten parts of myself surfacing (which in itself is a bizarre experience). I’m glad you’re enjoying seeing yourself again

It's weird, huh?!? Good thing I like those parts of me, or at the very least they're familiar😉

11 minutes ago, Thorin said:

I didn’t buy a ticket but I got boozy and stumbled in to watch anyway. I’ve enjoyed the talk!

LMAOooooo this brings back a lot of memories haha good times!

12 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Ok, now I wonder if meds is causing this for me too….. doom scroll? I mean deep dive?

Personally, I've avoided going down that path for a reason. I don't think I can do anything more about it right now, and I'm tapering as fast as I reasonably can, so one day I can cross ADs off the list of possible causes of hairloss. Bup is known to do it, but my reasoning has been to let that lie for now to avoid fanning the flames of anxiety. That said, maybe I'm missing out?

16 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Any side effects with this? I briefly thought about it…

I'm sure there's lots of side effects that I also haven't explored lately. I think I've had some of the more common side effects, but not to any degree that's significantly impacted my life at this time. I've heard of people taking .5mg daily vs 1mg, which is something I'll start doing if I ever remember 😖 I think I read some long term doom side effects, and in my general distrust of anything prescription these days, in a perfect world I wouldn't take any of them. It's all a tomorrow problem for me after I get off the ADs.

21 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Amen brother but the end point will be so good

I don't think I'll feel horrible, but I'd rather that than feel medicated one more minute. What a crazy journey.

Always a pleasure, bruv! Hope things are good as can be on your end!

February 19, 2023

3 hours ago, j1290 said:

Back in the day when you'd write letters to friends because it was too expensive to call, I used to write pretty funny letters to a buddy of mine. I would think about that sometimes when I write my blogposts here, where did that guy go? Of course I'm not an edgy 20 something anymore, but on my good days I see a lot more of the parts of that guy I knew way back when. It's nice to meet him again, reuniting with an old friend.

I love this! Thank you for writing letters to us. I hope your friend saved those, bet there's some gold there!

3 hours ago, j1290 said:

With so many other variables related to hairloss, I don't know where it all begins and ends, but you bring up a *FASCINATING* point that I don't recall anybody mentioning. Where I get the scalp burning sensation is at the top of my head, precisely where I'm thinning the most.

Wild, right? That's what made me think it was connected too. I noticed when I shampooed the top of my head, that's where the hair was coming loose, right where the burning sensation is. I noticed the hair loss got better when I was on my accidental 50% taper, then started up again strong when I upped it.

I bet this happened before, but my hair was very short when I started Wellbutrin so I wouldn't have noticed. It's longer than it's been in years, so it's super noticeable when it's coming out. Yikes!

When the burning sensation on top of my head started after taking Wellbutrin, I whipped off my beanie and let my head cool down. Can't hurt, right? 😬

50 minutes ago, Thorin said:

doom scroll? I mean deep dive?

Ha, relatable!

51 minutes ago, Thorin said:

I didn’t buy a ticket but I got boozy and stumbled in to watch anyway. I’ve enjoyed the talk!

😂

29 minutes ago, j1290 said:

52 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Ok, now I wonder if meds is causing this for me too….. doom scroll? I mean deep dive?

Personally, I've avoided going down that path for a reason. I don't think I can do anything more about it right now, and I'm tapering as fast as I reasonably can, so one day I can cross ADs off the list of possible causes of hairloss. Bup is known to do it, but my reasoning has been to let that lie for now to avoid fanning the flames of anxiety. That said, maybe I'm missing out?

Don't worry, friends, I deep dove doom scrolled for all of us! It looks very positive that this is reversed and gets better when med levels go down.

Also, anecdotally, I'd been noticing more hair loss in general the past year or so... then it slowed when I accidentally tapered way too fast. Thought that was odd, as I thought it was stress-related and I was actually more stressed.

Then, when I upped Wellbutrin, hair cascading again. So, since y'all are on the taper journey down, chances are good it'll be all gravy! Making me rethink going back up to the 100mg SR... maybe taking pill fragments all day is preferable to losing hair?

February 19, 2023

33 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Hey, thanks so much, brother! Right back 'atcha!😎 Between you and me, I'm still more fragile than I'd like, but hey, I've come a long way.

Mate I’m very fragile. I’m still not sure whether it’s me, meds or withdrawal. Only time will give the answer to that. For the moment I have no choice but to treat it as though it’s me and address it accordingly. Feels like the only way to get through it.

35 minutes ago, j1290 said:

haha this hits close to home! Talked to my therapist about it last week I think. My own criteria is being able to hold down a job. If I can do that, I'll work out the rest with professionals and forget the meds, thank you very much. But we'll see. This chapter of my life is far from over 😂

You’re doing it so far. Anything else at this point is pure conjecture and guess work. But your goal of addressing it with hard work instead of meds is the same as mine and I admire that goal in anyone.

36 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Thanks so much, man. I don't feel tough and wish I could be soft as butter, if I'm honest, but tapering is not the easier, softer way, so I'll be tough enough for the occasion, I reckon! I feel the same, I've become attached to my tapering possee across the world for sure!

The toughness may not come easy but the fact that you’re doing it is clear evidence that the toughness is there. Courage is not doing something easy. Courage is doing something in spite of the fact that it’s difficult…..

38 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Personally, I've avoided going down that path for a reason. I don't think I can do anything more about it right now, and I'm tapering as fast as I reasonably can, so one day I can cross ADs off the list of possible causes of hairloss. Bup is known to do it, but my reasoning has been to let that lie for now to avoid fanning the flames of anxiety. That said, maybe I'm missing out?

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

Any side effects with this? I briefly thought about it…

I'm sure there's lots of side effects that I also haven't explored lately. I think I've had some of the more common side effects, but not to any degree that's significantly impacted my life at this time. I've heard of people taking .5mg daily vs 1mg, which is something I'll start doing if I ever remember 😖 I think I read some long term doom side effects, and in my general distrust of anything prescription these days, in a perfect world I wouldn't take any of them. It's all a tomorrow problem for me after I get off the ADs.

Right. I’m going to listen to this and not doom scroll…… I’ll think about this when I’ve finished my taper if it’s an issue.

39 minutes ago, j1290 said:

don't think I'll feel horrible, but I'd rather that than feel medicated one more minute. What a crazy journey.

Always a pleasure, bruv! Hope things are good as can be on your end!

I can handle the emotional pain. The anxiety scares me but so far I’ve made it through ok. Same as you I’d rather face those things than be medicated one second longer than is necessary.

February 19, 2023

4 minutes ago, Thorin said:

44 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I'm still more fragile than I'd like, but hey, I've come a long way.

Mate I’m very fragile.

Team Fragile!! Asked my partner if we could watch something soothing tonight, like Bake Off, and said, "I'd like to wrap my brain in bubble wrap, please."

February 19, 2023

12 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Team Fragile!! Asked my partner if we could watch something soothing tonight, like Bake Off, and said, "I'd like to wrap my brain in bubble wrap, please."

I’m so in some mood for some light tv. That sounds perfect. I’m ordering fish and chips for diner because it’s Sunday and I’m burned out and I’m gonna watch some crap!

February 19, 2023

33 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Don't worry, friends, I deep dove doom scrolled for all of us! It looks very positive that this is reversed and gets better when med levels go down.

That was unexpected and super nice of you to do, Littlebird!

33 minutes ago, littlebird said:

maybe taking pill fragments all day is preferable to losing hair?

I look at it as acceptable for now because I've been taking this for 15 or 20 years anyway, what's another year or so till I'm 100% off of it? I think it'll come back like you said at the end of this, and if not, well hey, I'm still off the Wellbutrin regardless!

26 minutes ago, Thorin said:

I’m still not sure whether it’s me, meds or withdrawal.

This. Everything about ADs from top to bottom is a world of grey when I like black and white. I can only do my best and accept what it is at the moment.

26 minutes ago, Thorin said:

addressing it with hard work instead of meds

I'm with you, I salute anybody that's decided to taper off of these. My hunch is that after a few years on these things the manufacturers have a customer for life and we're the exception to the rule getting off them properly. Less I go down that path the better.

26 minutes ago, Thorin said:

You’re doing it so far. Anything else at this point is pure conjecture and guess work.

Thanks for reminding me, you're 100% correct of course. Looking at the facts is more likely to be accurate than the scary movie I invent in my head.

26 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Courage is not doing something easy. Courage is doing something in spite of the fact that it’s difficult

Well stated.

26 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Same as you I’d rather face those things than be medicated one second longer than is necessary.

I think after years of my life spent tapering ADs there's not much I wouldn't prefer to getting back on them again. I won't rule it out because I don't want to try to live in a world of absolutes, but if it comes to that I'll use them in a much more informed way, and for as little time as possible.

19 minutes ago, littlebird said:

"I'd like to wrap my brain in bubble wrap, please."

haha perfectly described!

7 minutes ago, Thorin said:

I’m gonna watch some crap!

21 minutes ago, littlebird said:

like Bake Off,

I'm with you both, here's to escapism TV!

February 19, 2023

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

I take the hairloss pill

Which one are you using?

I looked into this once, but found that a popular hairloss pill (Finasteride) can cause a lot of symptoms that look very much like WD symptoms from antidepressants.

Edited February 19, 2023 by Go2zero

February 19, 2023

24 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

I looked into this once, but found that a popular hairloss pill (Finasteride) can cause a lot of symptoms that look very much like WD symptoms from antidepressants.

Yeah, that's what I take. I just did a quick look around and couldn't find any particular interactions with Bup that looked too serious, but the Finasteride looks to have some possible side effects both during use and discontinuation that I wouldn't like to have. Appreciate the heads up, I'll keep that in mind. I stopped taking it for a few months while I was doing this taper but don't recall any significant differences.

I'm striving to have a time when I don't take any pills at all in the future. Here's to then!

February 19, 2023

10 minutes ago, j1290 said:

just did a quick look around and couldn't find any particular interactions with Bup that looked too serious, but the Finasteride looks to have some possible side effects both during use and discontinuation that I wouldn't like to have.

I am not aware of any interactions either with Wellbutrin. But the side effects of Finasteride can be quite mean. This drug can cause depressive feelings, heart palpitations, liver problems, sexual problems.

I wouldn't like that next to the WD effects and side effects I already experience from the Wellbutrin and Prozac.

February 19, 2023

1 minute ago, Go2zero said:

I wouldn't like that next to the WD effects and side effects I already experience from the Wellbutrin and Prozac.

Yeah I hear you. I've been taking finasteride off and on for a very long time, but I've been on ADs for that same time so....as with so many things pill related, I'm left with a question mark.

Could I ask your opinion? I'm at 190mg and looking to taper. I was thinking to cut from 190 to 140(50mg), or from 190 to 115(75mg).

Any thoughts? I think either one will probably be fine since I'm still above 100mg, but 140 less risky. I just did a couple 75 mg drops with no problem, but of course everything gets tricker the lower I go.

February 19, 2023

7 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Could I ask your opinion? I'm at 190mg and looking to taper. I was thinking to cut from 190 to 140(50mg), or from 190 to 115(75mg).

Any thoughts? I think either one will probably be fine since I'm still above 100mg, but 140 less risky. I just did a couple 75 mg drops with no problem, but of course everything gets tricker the lower I go.

If I were you, I would cut 50 mg to 140. The lower you go the relatively higher a 75mg drop wil be. A 75 mg drop coming from 262 is something else then a 75mg drop coming from 190.

A 50 mg drop from 190 would mean a drop of 26%. A 75mg drop would be nearly 40%. That is quite a lot!

I would not take the risk. Everybody can react differently. It may work, but I would not take the risk. You have been doing so well in this tapering process. What does it mind if it would take 1 month longer or so? If you would go wrong by going too fast, it may cost much more extra time.

February 19, 2023

7 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

It may work, but I would not take the risk.

Alright, fair enough. I appreciate your advice, I know you've been through it on the Bupropion. I'll stick with the 50mg drop and see how that takes.

Do you still feel the Bupropion at all do you think? I'm trying to guess when I'll no longer feel medicated. My guess is things will ease around 150mg and somewhere around 75 mg really lighten up.

February 19, 2023

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

Do you still feel the Bupropion at all do you think? I'm trying to guess when I'll no longer feel medicated.

No idea if it does something. The only thing I am 100% sure of, is that the last 3% drop in dosage (1 year ago) gave me a lot of nasty WD symptoms. And from 66mg to where I am now (32,3mg) it was a very heavy ride through hell now and then.... Sometimes for many months in a row.

So still waiting with further tapering bupropion until I am completely away from Prozac. Hope to get there in 4-5 months. Then a long stabilisation period before I continue to taper Wellbutrin again.

I still hoping tapering bupropion will be easier by then...

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

My guess is things will ease around 150mg and somewhere around 75 mg really lighten up.

You can't know. I hope you are lucky and one of the many that can get away from Bupropion more easily.

Edited February 19, 2023 by Go2zero

February 19, 2023

Hey good to see you @Go2zero while we have you, question came up from J1290 a while back: do you have any links to studies on WB effect on the brain (% activation of receptors I think it’s called) at different doses?

February 19, 2023

5 hours ago, Go2zero said:

I hope you are lucky and one of the many that can get away from Bupropion more easily.

Gonna double up on this hope for you too!

February 19, 2023

59 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

do you have any links to studies on WB effect on the brain (% activation of receptors I think it’s called) at different doses?

Hi SonSetFree,

Unfortunately there does not seem to be anything like that. I have searched for it extensively...

j1290 asked me a while ago. Here is my answer.

February 20, 2023

11 hours ago, Go2zero said:

No idea if it does something.

Wow, really? That's good information to know. I'm still at a theraputic dose and definitely feel mood elevated, or whatever this stuff does.

11 hours ago, Go2zero said:

The only thing I am 100% sure of, is that the last 3% drop in dosage (1 year ago) gave me a lot of nasty WD symptoms.

Brutal. This process is so unfair.

11 hours ago, Go2zero said:

So still waiting with further tapering bupropion until I am completely away from Prozac. Hope to get there in 4-5 months. Then a long stabilisation period before I continue to taper Wellbutrin again.

I was on the max dose of wellbutrin and effexor, and tapered effexor first. Took me at least 3.5 years. I think when they polydrug us with this stuff it makes things even more complicated. I hope you get a long window. I think I took a 5 year break or so before I was ready to tackle the Wellbutrin. I needed a break.

11 hours ago, Go2zero said:

You can't know. I hope you are lucky and one of the many that can get away from Bupropion more easily.

Thanks, mate. I hope so too, but I'm at least somewhat prepared for the worst. If it takes me 30 cuts to go from 75mg to zero, well, I did it before on Effexor, I can do it again. So far, it has all been worth it.

As always, I appreciate and thank you for your time, go2zero!

@SonSetFree I dove into the studies the other day and found Bupropion occupancy of the dopamine transporter is low during clinical treatment and it says something about blocking the dopamine transporter occupancy at a rate of 22%. I don't really understand what they're saying or if it's directly relevant, but the study seems to be questioning if Bup actually works as advertised to block the dopamine transponder or if it works some other way.

For some reason there just doesn't seem to be a lot of studies about Bupropion.

The other studies I've read recently just say the same things, that Bup is on the easy side of the scale to taper.

February 20, 2023

DAY 1 I decided to drop 50mg today so that I would have 4 weeks to recover before my secret job interview. 190mg is too uncomfortable to hold for an additional month if I want to avoid taking prescription meds, and I'd be a complete wreck by the end. I don't expect miracles from dropping to 140, but it should be a measurable improvement. I'm going to keep a sharp eye out for any severe WD, but I don't really have any expectations of issues.

The majority of the reduction was in my night dose, so I'm not feeling much of the effects yet. Today was a 3/10 with headache, head pressure, scalp burning, etc but the irritability is controllable, so certainly improved over this time last month.

Had a meeting with my executive coach. Handled some business curveballs like a champ, still slow growth to be made. I'm in the game. Ok, back to work.

February 20, 2023

35 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I decided to drop 50mg today so that I would have 4 weeks to recover before my secret job interview.

Hope it is full of ease!

36 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Today was a 3/10 with headache, head pressure, scalp burning, etc but the irritability is controllable, so certainly improved over this time last month.

Seems like a good sign! Glad to hear the irritability gets easier to control, had/chose to bite my tongue a lot today!

Was more tuned in to the scalp sensations, realized that I've been having something in addition to the burning scalp, but I hadn't thought it could have anything med related until recently. It's been happening for a few months. On the top of my head, it feels like there's pain in the follicles; moving my hair around was painful. Do you get that too? The more I gently moved the hair around and massaged my scalp, it eased. Then, after taking my last dose of Wellbutrin, it came back.

SO starting to think that weird pain I've been having is related to meds, and potentially to the hair loss. I lost hair when I was shampooing the top of my head and not the sides. I was worried about losing hair while massaging the sore area tonight, and I didn't lose any... so I think increasing circulation might help with preventing the WellyB's hairloss side effect? I'm grasping at straws, but maybe?

Also found some info about how follicle pain is related to migraines due to over-firing of nerve cells, which made me think of your headache hat. Most of the article is useless, the info on migraines is in #5 of this listicle.

February 20, 2023

5 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Glad to hear the irritability gets easier to control, had/chose to bite my tongue a lot today!

haha as long as you held it in that's a W in my book! I still mutter under my breath now and then, but I've done worse LMAOOoooooo

7 minutes ago, littlebird said:

On the top of my head, it feels like there's pain in the follicles; moving my hair around was painful. Do you get that too? The more I gently moved the hair around and massaged my scalp, it eased. Then, after taking my last dose of Wellbutrin, it came back.

Definitely get the scalp massage situation. It really doesn't take a lot of pressure or manipulating the scalp to ease the discomfort. I'll walk around like a nut holding my head or rubbing my temples haha but it is what it is. Headache hat is as close to a hands free solution that I've found.

I'm still at a high enough dose and side effects that I don't notice subtleties like symptoms related to when I take a dose very much. haha not gonna lie, holding my scalp is sweet relief from the burning sensation. I always had it on the XL, at a noticeable but tolerable level. This IR stuff is next level. I read somewhere it's significantly stronger than the other time releases. Wouldn't surprise me a bit.

18 minutes ago, littlebird said:

so I think increasing circulation might help with preventing the WellyB's hairloss side effect?

I've been in the hairloss community for a minute, but I haven't checked in in years. I just joined u/tressless on Reddit, and used to go to hairlosstalk forum where you will find lots of junk posts but its been around forever so lots of research there. That's my way of saying some people think circulation is key and others think it's not. I don't have a clue but it sure helps the scalp burning.

I checked out your link, I'll be darned, I never even thought to search for hair/scalp pain on google. Good to know the triptans will help. I also read that someone said wellbutrin can increase intercranial pressure, which certainly tracks with my experience on this stuff. I'm going to follow your lead and do some more research on burning scalp and see if that gets anyplace.

Generally I'm just trying to cobble together a solution that will let me get through the day so that I can continue tapering and hopefully one day soon be on a low enough dose that these effects will be mitigated. Super annoying to think that might still be 3 months away, but there it is.

35 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Hope it is full of ease!

Much appreciated, friend! I hope these get easier for you and me both!

February 20, 2023

44 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I always had it on the XL, at a noticeable but tolerable level. This IR stuff is next level. I read somewhere it's significantly stronger than the other time releases. Wouldn't surprise me a bit.

Yup, it got worse when I switched to IR! Weird side effect.

45 minutes ago, j1290 said:

It really doesn't take a lot of pressure or manipulating the scalp to ease the discomfort. I'll walk around like a nut holding my head or rubbing my temples haha but it is what it is.

It helped a lot! Time to do it all over again with this last dose. It also felt good to scratch it lightly. I kept deep diving, as this scratching thing made me get a theory that maybe it's connected to how my hair and skin have been more oily since switching to IR; perhaps a buildup of oil might make the follicles hurt.

Looked it up, and yup, another common reported side effect. Maybe oil is building up in the follicles? Who the heck knows, but as long as a scalp massage helps and doesn't increase the hair loss, I'll rub this scalp all day.

Have you ever tried oils? Geranium and rosemary oils increase hair growth, and geranium balances sebum production. I've also heard peppermint oil helps with hair growth too, and the cooling feeling might be nice when the scalp is burning (or a headache is brewing). Shoot, I made myself kinda want to rub peppermint on this burning head.

So weird shampooing the top of my head made a shocking amount of hair fall out, and massaging it when it's sore isn't doing the same, but I'll take it. Rubbing away!

February 20, 2023

49 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Looked it up, and yup, another common reported side effect.

No kidding? I'm really glad I did zero research before agreeing to take this stuff 20 years ago. Guess planning wasn't really my thing LOL

50 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Have you ever tried oils? Geranium and rosemary oils increase hair growth, and geranium balances sebum production. I've also heard peppermint oil helps with hair growth too, and the cooling feeling might be nice when the scalp is burning (or a headache is brewing). Shoot, I made myself kinda want to rub peppermint on this burning head.

Great question! I used to use Minoxidil on my hair but never took to that so I've shied away from the essential oils or whatever they're called. Seems like peppermint could be really great. Maybe I should try it.

55 minutes ago, littlebird said:

So weird shampooing the top of my head made a shocking amount of hair fall out, and massaging it when it's sore isn't doing the same, but I'll take it. Rubbing away!

Hairloss is a giant rabbit hole. Until I'm off the pills I'll let that dog lie. Speaking of which, please give your dog my best regards!

February 20, 2023

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

Seems like peppermint could be really great. Maybe I should try it.

I went further down the research hole and found tea tree oil also helps. I've seen shampoos and conditioners with tea tree oil, and it has a similar cooling feeling, if you don't want to oil up your head. Found this spray that has both peppermint and tea tree oil, might feel nice misted on the ole burning scalp!

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

No kidding? I'm really glad I did zero research before agreeing to take this stuff 20 years ago. Guess planning wasn't really my thing LOL

Didn't do a lick of planning or research either! Said, "Sure, I'll try it," to anything they threw at me. So much misplaced trust in doctors!

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

Speaking of which, please give your dog my best regards!

I passed on your regards to my pup, who is lounging regally in the sun, and she did a little chin nod back so I think regards received and returned!

February 20, 2023

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

that has both peppermint and tea tree oil, might feel nice misted on the ole burning scalp!

I'll try anything twice. I'm in! Will let you know how it works.

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Said, "Sure, I'll try it," to anything they threw at me.

I never even thought twice LOL I remember asking if I could quit this stuff and was assured it was easy.

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

I passed on your regards to my pup, who is lounging regally in the sun, and she did a little chin nod back so I think regards received and returned!

ahhhhaha nice! Glad to hear she's enjoying her day.

February 21, 2023

DAY 2 2/10 head pressure, temple pressure, otherwise feel great.

I do NOT miss that last week of holding one bit. Feeling minor side effects that aren't leaving me at my best performance. That said, I don't need any pills to get by today, and looking into my notes I'd needed those even on Day 2 usually. Also my mental clarity and memory aren't 100%, but they're improved, and I'm moving as fast as I can to taper and remove the last of the medicine roadblocks to clearer thinking.

Looking forward to my next cut to 90mg. I think the pressure and whatnot will be much more tolerable. Until then, hey, I'm below 150mg, which was my beginning dose on this stuff 20 years ago! That's kinda cool.

So far, things are moving along predictably. I hope they stay that way, as I'm getting to the last 1/3rd of the taper where the rules are going to be rewritten.

At least today I feel better than yesterday. Things don't feel exceptionally vivid while awake or asleep. I think before my secret job interview I'm going to do a cut a day or two prior if symptoms get back up to 3/10. I really need that day to be at whatever my best looks like.

I know from Day 6-18 or so will be rough, so I'll enjoy today. I'm going for a walk.

February 21, 2023

43 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I don't need any pills to get by today, and looking into my notes I'd needed those even on Day 2 usually. Also my mental clarity and memory aren't 100%, but they're improved, and I'm moving as fast as I can to taper and remove the last of the medicine roadblocks to clearer thinking.

This all sounds super positive and hopeful!

44 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I really need that day to be at whatever my best looks like.

Cheering you on, man!! I'll be sending you vibes of utmost calm and clarity that day. You got this!

44 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I'm going for a walk.

Sounds like great self-care, hope the weather down there is nicer than chilly northern CA!

February 21, 2023

51 minutes ago, j1290 said:

That said, I don't need any pills to get by today, and looking into my notes I'd needed those even on Day 2 usually. Also my mental clarity and memory aren't 100%, but they're improved, and I'm moving as fast as I can to taper and remove the last of the medicine roadblocks to clearer thinking.

Mate these are all big improvements. You’re well on your way to a better place. And you’re already in a better place than when I first visited your thread. Heading in the right direction….

52 minutes ago, j1290 said:

At least today I feel better than yesterday. Things don't feel exceptionally vivid while awake or asleep. I think before my secret job interview I'm going to do a cut a day or two prior if symptoms get back up to 3/10. I really need that day to be at whatever my best looks like.

Cleverly strategic. I like it! I think you normally feel mildly elevated in the first days after a cut if memory serves me. May be exactly what you need in an interview situation. May as well use it to benefit yourself if it’s going to happen anyway.

54 minutes ago, j1290 said:

rough, so I'll enjoy today. I'm going for a walk.

Just took the dog for a walk in the wind and the sun and feel better for it. Enjoy! Do you walk in the city or the country?

February 21, 2023

14 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Cheering you on, man!! I'll be sending you vibes of utmost calm and clarity that day. You got this!

I appreciate that! I sure hope that's what I find at the end of this thing. Just realized that after the next cut, I'll be down to 36 pills a month, after starting at 180. I'm going to dispose of a bottle of old pills to celebrate. 🥳

12 minutes ago, Thorin said:

And you’re already in a better place than when I first visited your thread.

LOL I forgot about my early doom posting. I was in rough shape. I'm happy to report that minus the WD symptoms I hold up pretty nicely. I'm loving being less medicated so far. How about yourself? Sounds like things have stabilized a bit on the AD side of things? I bet that's a relief only the ones who've been through it can appreciate!

22 minutes ago, Thorin said:

May be exactly what you need in an interview situation. May as well use it to benefit yourself if it’s going to happen anyway.

Totally. It's a safe bet that I'll feel good the for most of the work day on Day 2. That's easily predictable, so I better take advantage. Unless something goes really sideways on this cut, but time will tell.

40 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Just took the dog for a walk in the wind and the sun and feel better for it. Enjoy! Do you walk in the city or the country?

Man that sounds nice! SoCal has some truly phenomenal hiking. You never need to take the same trail twice there's so many of them. Tonight, I just went to a large park near where I live. I think the loop around it is 2 or 3 miles so you get to stretch your legs a bit.

I could walk in the city but that's a ticket to the afterlife 💀😂 I'd prefer to go into that long dark night another time 😉 Are you able to walk in the city or do you go to a public park or something?

Hope things are settling a bit on your end, bruv!

February 21, 2023

20 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I'm going to dispose of a bottle of old pills to celebrate. 🥳

Love it! Maybe a cupcake or a treat to celebrate too?

21 minutes ago, j1290 said:

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

you’re already in a better place than when I first visited your thread.

LOL I forgot about my early doom posting. I was in rough shape. I'm happy to report that minus the WD symptoms I hold up pretty nicely.

Yo, this is giving me hope I won't always be hanging on post to post and day to day! There's hope in the future!

21 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I could walk in the city but that's a ticket to the afterlife 💀😂

I think maybe I'm growing out of city life! We got slowly followed on our dog walk today by a guy in a car, who then threw a bottle, but then luckily drove off. Too gritty in this city. No idea where we'd go, but I'm ready to explore! I want to feel comfortable walking where I live.

22 minutes ago, j1290 said:

SoCal has some truly phenomenal hiking. You never need to take the same trail twice there's so many of them.

Sounds amazing, man! So glad you have good walks and hiking down there. I imagine the weather has us beat too!

February 21, 2023

31 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Love it! Maybe a cupcake or a treat to celebrate too?

That was just the nudge I needed. Chocolate cake here I come!

32 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Yo, this is giving me hope I won't always be hanging on post to post and day to day! There's hope in the future!

You'll get off these if you want it, Littlebird! I'm convinced it's about tenacity and WD management the best way we can.

47 minutes ago, littlebird said:

I think maybe I'm growing out of city life! We got slowly followed on our dog walk today by a guy in a car, who then threw a bottle, but then luckily drove off.

People are crazy. Even my park isn't without risk, sadly. I'd get a heart attack if somebody creeped up on me in their car. That brake squeel gets the wheel of fortune spinning and you just hope it lands on something that sees you finishing your walk in the same health you began it. I'd like to think Thorin doesn't have these issues.

I look at covert houses in national parks sometimes and secretly wish that were me LOL

55 minutes ago, littlebird said:

So glad you have good walks and hiking down there. I imagine the weather has us beat too!

There are a lot of really cool hikes here, and it's nice you can go to the mountains if you're tired of desert. Can you believe I've never been to Yosemite?! I need to get up there this year. I'm all about trees and forrests, so I much prefer your part of the state. I like to see some green. Maybe I'll do some sasquatching and try to find Big Foot! Good times.

February 21, 2023

7 minutes ago, j1290 said:

That was just the nudge I needed. Chocolate cake here I come!

I'm a big proponent of "treat yo self!" So glad to hear you have chocolate cake in your future.

10 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I look at covert houses in national parks sometimes and secretly wish that were me LOL

Me toooooo! I think in another life I'd be growing herbs in my hermitage, communing with forest creatures.

13 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Can you believe I've never been to Yosemite?! I need to get up there this year. I'm all about trees and forrests, so I much prefer your part of the state. I like to see some green.

The grass is literally greener! I dream of the warmer weather y'all have down there this time of year. We are in a nice green season from the rains, it's been soothing to walk around and see that. We'll dry out and go golden before we know it! Do you get thunderstorms down there? That's one thing I miss since moving to the bay.

Yosemite is gorgeous! Totally lived up to the hype, I've been meaning to go back. @Thorin There be those bears you were wanting to see!

February 21, 2023

Great to hear you going so well and confidently J. Yours was the first thread I read all the way from beginning to end. It was wild cos it was like I was reading a story and then it just stops cos the last post is 2 hours ago or whatever. And I want to know how the story turns out! Happily for sure.

what day of taper will you be on for the secret job interview?

February 21, 2023

4 minutes ago, Fifree said:

It was wild cos it was like I was reading a story and then it just stops cos the last post is 2 hours ago or whatever.

LMAOOOOOooo that's hilarious I appreciate you taking the time! You've got me thinking now that I need to have a jazzy ending for when I get to zero to wrap up the story. I'll have to think about that and come up with something good. Or maybe I'll keep posting like a band past its heyday that makes albums so they're not just an oldies act. Who knows.

You're very kind!

25 minutes ago, Fifree said:

what day of taper will you be on for the secret job interview?

Day 27 if I don't make any cuts, but since that's generally a hangover day, I think I'd rather take the risk of hypomania on Day 2. I think I can keep from spilling my spaghetti till after the business day. It doesn't set in till the evening. I'll keep an eye out the next few days to see if there's a better one.

When I fly across the country for my all day job interview, would I prefer chemical hangover, or hypomanic? Well, at least I have options. 😆

How's things with your taper? I just popped over to your intro to hear what the butcherbird had to say. I didn't know birds could have such a variety of songs. I think I've never really understood just how different 'straya really is. Looks remarkable.

February 21, 2023

6 hours ago, j1290 said:

When I fly across the country for my all day job interview, would I prefer chemical hangover, or hypomanic? Well, at least I have options. 😆

I always appreciate your ability to find humor even in less than ideal circumstances.

February 21, 2023

59 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I always appreciate your ability to find humor even in less than ideal circumstances.

It's deliberate, for a lot of reasons. Makes for better reading, and keeps me out of fear. This really is just a manageable problem. If I frame it as a big spooky deal then I get nervous and freeze up.

Plus it really is silly I have to make that decision 😅 Tapering is just such a curious ordeal. I don't think I'll mention it in the interview 😂

February 21, 2023

EDIT- I had a funny thought that's better left unsaid 😋 However I'm not going to miss probing conversations with certain professionals in my life.

j1290: gets off the Wellbutrin and on with life!

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