FireflyFyte: Latuda withdrawal

[FireflyFyte]

I continue to test negative for COVID so am happy that I may have dodged that illness.

 

Tonight will mark a full week on my dose of 2.375mg and haven't noticed any ill effects though I understand that they may be delayed. If I continue to feel decent, I will make another drop next week to 2.25mg.

 

I am still struggling with heavy feelings of depression and loneliness and have an inkling that the gabapentin might be contributing which is a painful thought as it will be around two years before I can even consider tapering it down if I stick to a 5% drop every two weeks of the olanzapine/zyprexa. Ashamed that I allowed myself to be poly-drugged.

 

I have also gained ten pounds most likely from the olanzapine/zyprexa but gabapentin can cause weight gain as well so could be either or both. I am going to try cutting my calorie intake down some and get more exercise into my day to hopefully drop at least 5 pounds. 

 

Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and feel downtrodden that I have to admit that I haven't made any progress with my self-esteem and that I might even be going backwards. Not the update I wanted to provide to her.

[littlebird]

40 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I continue to test negative for COVID so am happy that I may have dodged that illness.

 

Yaaaaay, good news!!! 

 

40 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am still struggling with heavy feelings of depression and loneliness and have an inkling that the gabapentin might be contributing which is a painful thought

 

Wait, Gabapentin can make that worse?? No wonder I've been having super-drops every day after Wellbutrin IR leaves my system and I take Gabapentin. Shoot, what can't these pills mess up for us.

 

42 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I have also gained ten pounds most likely from the olanzapine/zyprexa

 

Zyprexa made me gain weight, but it did even out and plateau. Hoping you're doing ok, it's a hard side effect.

 

44 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and feel downtrodden that I have to admit that I haven't made any progress with my self-esteem and that I might even be going backwards. Not the update I wanted to provide to her.

 

Ooh, right there with you in feeling like I'm going backwards in my self-esteem journey. I was wondering if part of the journey IS going backwards, exploring the core wounding that happened when we were younger that led to low self-esteem. Then, when processing that developmental trauma, it's activated and we feel worse for a little while as we process things and work with those younger parts of ourselves that want to stay small and hidden and humble. 

 

I'm just guessing, because it feels like I'm having some dialogue between the wounded parts and the older/wiser mind. The level of "tough talk" I've slipped into has me wondering if this is coming up to be healed. These nasty thoughts have always been in there somewhere, hidden under all the Positivity I've worked so hard on. Since I'm addressing these core woundings, they're having their say, I'm processing, and I'm trusting it's part of the journey. 

 

Because I'm tired of feeling bad about myself! I would love to be self-assured. So, yes, younger wounded parts of me: tell me what hurt you, tell why you feel so badly about yourself, let's figure this out together and find a healthier way to be.

[hayduke]

L-theanine is a GABA precursor IIRC.  It's the primary compound of interest in green tea. 

I read some time ago that it is less disruptive to the system than directly hitting GABA receptors.

I have found it to be a reasonably useful anxiolytic now and again.  I always get the decaf green tea.

Cheers

[hayduke]

-ve covid tests aren't conclusive.

 

I had three RAT tests show -ve, while a PCR test showed +ve.

 

Eat healthy, rest up, feed your immune system.

 

Cheers

[FireflyFyte]

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Wait, Gabapentin can make that worse?? No wonder I've been having super-drops every day after Wellbutrin IR leaves my system and I take Gabapentin. Shoot, what can't these pills mess up for us.

 

I know 😔

 

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Zyprexa made me gain weight, but it did even out and plateau. Hoping you're doing ok, it's a hard side effect.

 

I seem to be holding at a 8-10 pound weight gain which is frustrating but I know people who gained 50+ pounds on this medication so if I plateau at 10 pounds then I should consider myself lucky.

 

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Ooh, right there with you in feeling like I'm going backwards in my self-esteem journey. I was wondering if part of the journey IS going backwards, exploring the core wounding that happened when we were younger that led to low self-esteem. Then, when processing that developmental trauma, it's activated and we feel worse for a little while as we process things and work with those younger parts of ourselves that want to stay small and hidden and humble. 

 

I'm just guessing, because it feels like I'm having some dialogue between the wounded parts and the older/wiser mind. The level of "tough talk" I've slipped into has me wondering if this is coming up to be healed. These nasty thoughts have always been in there somewhere, hidden under all the Positivity I've worked so hard on. Since I'm addressing these core woundings, they're having their say, I'm processing, and I'm trusting it's part of the journey. 

 

Because I'm tired of feeling bad about myself! I would love to be self-assured. So, yes, younger wounded parts of me: tell me what hurt you, tell why you feel so badly about yourself, let's figure this out together and find a healthier way to be.

 

I can really appreciate this take on building self-esteem and might bring it up to my therapist this morning. I know that my struggles with self-esteem started as a young child so maybe I need to help her in order to help myself as an adult. Thank you for the insight, littlebird 💜

[FireflyFyte]

1 hour ago, hayduke said:

L-theanine is a GABA precursor IIRC.  It's the primary compound of interest in green tea. 

I read some time ago that it is less disruptive to the system than directly hitting GABA receptors.

I have found it to be a reasonably useful anxiolytic now and again.  I always get the decaf green tea.

 

I'll look into this - thank you!

 

1 hour ago, hayduke said:

-ve covid tests aren't conclusive.

 

I had three RAT tests show -ve, while a PCR test showed +ve.

 

Eat healthy, rest up, feed your immune system.

 

I know that the at-home tests aren't as sensitive so have been mostly relaxing for the last week beyond working and getting the pups out for a short walk. I probably could have eaten better but have been focusing on improving that over the last few days and plan to continue. 

[FireflyFyte]

Had a session with my therapist this morning and we covered a lot including my decision to not restart ADHD medication for the time being (really don't want more of a drug cocktail) and trying to find ways to manage my ADHD, especially related to work activity, without stimulants. We discussed using timers and blocks of time so will try to implement those this week and she might have a book recommendation for me after she vets it first. Happy to share any tips I learn here if other people may find it helpful.

 

@littlebird, I thought of you when we talked about how a lot of my current struggles with my self-esteem stem from early childhood experiences and it will take a lot of work to reroute my brain after 30 years of reinforced negative thinking. I told her about my sticky note project and how I thought it was childish which prompted a conversation around why I viewed "childish" as a bad thing and trying to reframe that thought process. She also suggested that when I am having a self-blaming thought to acknowledge the thought, "add a ;", and then put a truth that combats it or lessens the impact so for me, after a recent incident with an ex-boyfriend I can think "My impulsivity pushed him away; and he doesn't have the emotional space for me." I know this will take a lot of work but have to begun somewhere, right?

 

Still no noticeable effects from dropping down to 2.375mg of Zyprexa/Olanzapine so plan to make another drop this coming Sunday.

[littlebird]

29 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

@littlebird, I thought of you when we talked about how a lot of my current struggles with my self-esteem stem from early childhood experiences and it will take a lot of work to reroute my brain after 30 years of reinforced negative thinking. I told her about my sticky note project and how I thought it was childish which prompted a conversation around why I viewed "childish" as a bad thing and trying to reframe that thought process. She also suggested that when I am having a self-blaming thought to acknowledge the thought, "add a ;", and then put a truth that combats it or lessens the impact so for me, after a recent incident with an ex-boyfriend I can think "My impulsivity pushed him away; and he doesn't have the emotional space for me." I know this will take a lot of work but have to begun somewhere, right?

 

Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I'd just been struggling with "childish" too; I'd found something that worked for me, and judged it as childish. Ooh, just had some memories pop up of being called childish as an insult by my folks when I was an actual child. Maybe I learned to self-judge quite young.

 

It does take a lot of work. I started thinking of it as weeding a garden. When "you're not good enough" pops up, weed it out, and plan a seed of a positive thought, like "I'm doing my best, and that is good enough." SUCH a process. Glad we're not in it alone!

[FireflyFyte]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I'd just been struggling with "childish" too; I'd found something that worked for me, and judged it as childish. Ooh, just had some memories pop up of being called childish as an insult by my folks when I was an actual child. Maybe I learned to self-judge quite young.

 

Sadly, I learned very young as well and wasn't really allowed to just be a kid so can find it difficult to connect with my inner-child but is one of many things I am actively working on.

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

It does take a lot of work. I started thinking of it as weeding a garden. When "you're not good enough" pops up, weed it out, and plan a seed of a positive thought, like "I'm doing my best, and that is good enough." SUCH a process.

 

Oh! I really like this metaphor and might use it going forward!

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Glad we're not in it alone!

 

I am so glad that I found this site and community. I have some people in my life supporting my efforts to taper but, thankfully, they can't really understand what I am currently going through.

[littlebird]

13 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

Sadly, I learned very young as well and wasn't really allowed to just be a kid so can find it difficult to connect with my inner-child but is one of many things I am actively working on.

 

I used to feel this way too!! The first time a clinician asked me to connect with my inner child, I looked internally and didn't see anyone matching that description. She gently told me they might be in hiding, and I think she was right. That was nearly a decade ago, and I'm happy to report, I'm WAY more in touch with not just one inner child, but many ages of them. 

 

It got much easier to get in touch with them when I started having kinder self-talk. I'd been continuing the way I was talked to as a kid as self-talk, and I don't blame them from hiding from me for that one. 

 

16 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am so glad that I found this site and community. I have some people in my life supporting my efforts to taper but, thankfully, they can't really understand what I am currently going through.

 

Right there with you! I think unless someone has lived through med changes, they aren't able to understand. It helps so much to talk to people who get it!

[hayduke]

14 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

find it difficult to connect with my inner-child but is one of many things I am actively working on

One way to approach it is if you find yourself regressing, pouting, feeling THAT'S NOT FAIR and wanting to stomp your feet...or wistful, missing someone, or feeling the tiniest thing is out of place and it's upsetting...honour it! 

Let your grown up self be the kind, gentle and understanding parent to the kid who was not allowed those expressions!

That's what I do anyway 🙂

Reparenting is a great concept.  Not only do I do it mostly for myself, some dear old friends kindly help fill these roles sometimes by giving me proper praise on completing a course, doing something cool etc where my birth parents would have been indifferent or destructive.

[FireflyFyte]

17 hours ago, littlebird said:

I used to feel this way too!! The first time a clinician asked me to connect with my inner child, I looked internally and didn't see anyone matching that description. She gently told me they might be in hiding, and I think she was right. That was nearly a decade ago, and I'm happy to report, I'm WAY more in touch with not just one inner child, but many ages of them. 

 

It got much easier to get in touch with them when I started having kinder self-talk. I'd been continuing the way I was talked to as a kid as self-talk, and I don't blame them from hiding from me for that one. 

 

This gives me hope that I can connect with my inner child, thank you littlebird 💜

 

2 hours ago, hayduke said:

One way to approach it is if you find yourself regressing, pouting, feeling THAT'S NOT FAIR and wanting to stomp your feet...or wistful, missing someone, or feeling the tiniest thing is out of place and it's upsetting...honour it! 

Let your grown up self be the kind, gentle and understanding parent to the kid who was not allowed those expressions!

That's what I do anyway 🙂

Reparenting is a great concept.  Not only do I do it mostly for myself, some dear old friends kindly help fill these roles sometimes by giving me proper praise on completing a course, doing something cool etc where my birth parents would have been indifferent or destructive.

 

I really appreciate this advice and will see about working it into my attempts to connect with my inner child. I need to be kinder, and gentler, with myself in general and if it also helps my inner child - all the better.

[FireflyFyte]

Last night, had some issues trying to fall asleep and also woke up at some point in the night but was able to fall back asleep. I made the mistake of using my phone before trying to fall asleep so that might have contributed to the problems in trying to get some shut eye. I jotted down the concerns on my daily log so will see if it becomes more persistent and/or if effects from my drop take about a week to surface.

 

Thankfully, I was a little more motivated yesterday at work but still need to find mechanisms to be more productive on a regular basis. I have a lot of meetings today but later in the week will see if setting timers helps.

 

Otherwise, happy to report that I haven't noticed any effects from my first drop and am looking forward to having some of my emotional blunting lifting when I get to lower doses of the Zyprexa/Olanzapine. 

[FireflyFyte]

Woke up in the middle of the night again but was able to fall back asleep so nothing that I can't handle as far as sleep upset. I am grateful.

 

Had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she is supportive of my tapering plan and will continue to prescribe the 2.5mg pill so I can use it to make a liquid suspension. Of course, she mentioned raising my Prozac dose if I experience anxiety during my withdrawal which I don't plan on doing even if I do experience heightened anxiety - will try to find other ways to cope. She noticeably mentioned not wanting to raise my Gabapentin dose so am curious if she has learned some not-so-great information about it. I didn't pry but was tempted to push her on the topic.

 

She also suggested I don't make my drop scheduled for the Sunday before I leave for vacation which makes sense but will make the decision once it's closer as I don't like the idea of prolonging my taper any longer (already estimated to take at least 20 months) but would hate to have my first vacation in 4 years tainted by withdrawal symptoms. 

[Thorin]

17 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

Woke up in the middle of the night again but was able to fall back asleep so nothing that I can't handle as far as sleep upset. I am grateful.

 

Had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she is supportive of my tapering plan and will continue to prescribe the 2.5mg pill so I can use it to make a liquid suspension. Of course, she mentioned raising my Prozac dose if I experience anxiety during my withdrawal which I don't plan on doing even if I do experience heightened anxiety - will try to find other ways to cope. She noticeably mentioned not wanting to raise my Gabapentin dose so am curious if she has learned some not-so-great information about it. I didn't pry but was tempted to push her on the topic.

 

She also suggested I don't make my drop scheduled for the Sunday before I leave for vacation which makes sense but will make the decision once it's closer as I don't like the idea of prolonging my taper any longer (already estimated to take at least 20 months) but would hate to have my first vacation in 4 years tainted by withdrawal symptoms. 

A holiday sounds lovely! I hope you’re going somewhere nice and doing lots of nice things. Ready for one myself I think. A couple of nights in the mountains near some water would make me very happy! Have fun!

[littlebird]

17 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I don't like the idea of prolonging my taper any longer (already estimated to take at least 20 months) but would hate to have my first vacation in 4 years tainted by withdrawal symptoms. 

 

Ooh, this is a tough one!! I so get it about not wanting to prolong taper, but also... first vacation in four years? That's a big one! Especially depending on what your WD are likely to be, might be nice to just be present and happy during your trip! Hope you have a wonderful time, btw. 

[FireflyFyte]

6 hours ago, Thorin said:

A holiday sounds lovely! I hope you’re going somewhere nice and doing lots of nice things. Ready for one myself I think. A couple of nights in the mountains near some water would make me very happy! Have fun!

 

I am going to the Bahamas so will be enjoying some warm weather, gorgeous beaches, and even treating myself to a massage!

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Ooh, this is a tough one!! I so get it about not wanting to prolong taper, but also... first vacation in four years? That's a big one! Especially depending on what your WD are likely to be, might be nice to just be present and happy during your trip! Hope you have a wonderful time, btw. 

 

Thankfully, I haven't felt anything with my first drop but it might hit later, difficult to know this early on. I have another drop scheduled for Sunday so will see how that goes which will impact my decision to make my third drop before the trip or not.

[FireflyFyte]

I was planning on dropping at 0.3mg but have gotten some feedback that it might be too high of a jumping point so my 20 month taper looks like it will be closer to a two year taper 😔

 

Rationally, I know it's only a few more months but that means delaying my Gabapentin taper even further and worried about the side effects from that medication compounding over time. It is just frustrating but I know that patience is required during this tapering journey - just wish I had more of it. 

 

Otherwise, not much to report. Still no noticeable side effects from my first drop so will make another 5% drop of the Zyprexa/Olanzapine on Sunday which will bring me down to 2.25mg. 

 

Today, going to be trying a supplement called "Genius Mushrooms" that includes cordyceps, reishi, and and lions mane mushrooms so will see how that goes. The container says to take three pills 20 minutes before a meal but think I will start with one, see how I react, and go up if there are no ill effects. 

[littlebird]

4 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am going to the Bahamas so will be enjoying some warm weather, gorgeous beaches, and even treating myself to a massage!

 

Yaaaay, I'm so happy for you! You leave soon for that? Exciting!!! I hope you have a glorious time.

 

4 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I have another drop scheduled for Sunday so will see how that goes which will impact my decision to make my third drop before the trip or not.

 

I suppose reinstatement is always an option too (mods feel free to correct that assumption) if you find that you're struggling to enjoy your time in the Bahamas. So glad you have a trip to look forward to! This is great, I'm vicariously feeling excited and happy for you.

[littlebird]

11 hours ago, Thorin said:

Ready for one myself I think. A couple of nights in the mountains near some water would make me very happy! Have fun!

 

Yes, book it @Thorin!! You've been working so hard, on work and on meds, and deserve to have a refreshing trip somewhere.

 

I am counting down to the weather getting warm enough to camp! It always helps my partner and I to get out in nature.

 

@FireflyFyte so happy you have a trip coming up! Hope it's full of magic and nourishing experiences.

[Thorin]

15 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

am going to the Bahamas so will be enjoying some warm weather, gorgeous beaches, and even treating myself to a massage!

That sounds absolutely amazing. I’m both very happy for you and completely jealous 😂. I hope you have an amazing time and that your massage is fantastic! Can you let me know how you go with your mushrooms. That’s something I’ve been curious about for a while but need a reputable brand

[FireflyFyte]

18 hours ago, littlebird said:

Yaaaay, I'm so happy for you! You leave soon for that? Exciting!!! I hope you have a glorious time.

 

I leave in early March so less than a month away 😁

 

18 hours ago, littlebird said:

I suppose reinstatement is always an option too (mods feel free to correct that assumption) if you find that you're struggling to enjoy your time in the Bahamas. So glad you have a trip to look forward to! This is great, I'm vicariously feeling excited and happy for you.

 

I don't think that reinstatement will be needed. I have handled my first drop without any issues and will see how the next drop goes before deciding if I drop again, or hold, before my vacation.

 

18 hours ago, littlebird said:

Yes, book it @Thorin!! You've been working so hard, on work and on meds, and deserve to have a refreshing trip somewhere.

 

I am counting down to the weather getting warm enough to camp! It always helps my partner and I to get out in nature.

 

@FireflyFyte so happy you have a trip coming up! Hope it's full of magic and nourishing experiences.

 

I agree, vacations for all!

 

8 hours ago, Thorin said:

That sounds absolutely amazing. I’m both very happy for you and completely jealous 😂. I hope you have an amazing time and that your massage is fantastic! Can you let me know how you go with your mushrooms. That’s something I’ve been curious about for a while but need a reputable brand

 

Thank you, Thorin. I'll keep you updated on the mushrooms as I am slowly increasing my uptake to ensure I don't throw my system out of whack.

[FireflyFyte]

I continue to wake up once or twice a night but am able to fall back asleep fairly quickly so still getting a decent night's sleep. I continue to be grateful.

 

I am still really, really struggling with motivation and productivity and concerned that is is affecting my work. I don't want to get back on Vyvanse but am worried that I can't sustain at this lower rate of productivity for much longer.

 

Otherwise, don't have much to report. Following @Thorin's lead and am cooking dinner (baked pork chops, pasta salad, and veggies) tonight after not cooking for quite some time. Should be nice to be in the kitchen again and have a friend stopping by to share it with which is even better. 

[Thorin]

8 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am still really, really struggling with motivation and productivity and concerned that is is affecting my work. I don't want to get back on Vyvanse but am worried that I can't sustain at this lower rate of productivity for much longer.

I can’t speak for the Vyvanse (I was on dextroamphetamine when I first joined) but my motivation has slowly improved over time. Be patient if you can it will come and it may be impacted by your stress as well at the moment.

 

8 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

Otherwise, don't have much to report. Following @Thorin's lead and am cooking dinner (baked pork chops, pasta salad, and veggies) tonight after not cooking for quite some time. Should be nice to be in the kitchen again and have a friend stopping by to share it with which is even better. 

Woohoo! Hope your dinner is delicious!

[littlebird]

8 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am still really, really struggling with motivation and productivity and concerned that is is affecting my work. I don't want to get back on Vyvanse but am worried that I can't sustain at this lower rate of productivity for much longer.

 

Right there with you in that struggle! I'm trying to be kind to myself about being slower than usual. Not easy! 

[hayduke]

On 2/11/2023 at 3:59 AM, FireflyFyte said:

 

I am still really, really struggling with motivation and productivity and concerned that is is affecting my work. I don't want to get back on Vyvanse but am worried that I can't sustain at this lower rate of productivity for much longer.

 

I already had imminent life and career changes unfolding during my taper.  Others may have been able to tread water at their jobs, I did for a while.  

 

Overall though it has been a few years of adaptations towards more true ambitions, and while challenges abound I am glad I changed my life to allow completing the taper rather than the other way round.

[j1290]

I re-instated once due to work issues.  It helped me pivot and my current taper has been successful.  I decided that getting a grade of C on my work was still passing and acceptable.  I've never been able to tough it out if I cut too much, I've always had to reinstate.  

[FireflyFyte]

On 2/10/2023 at 8:44 PM, littlebird said:

Right there with you in that struggle! I'm trying to be kind to myself about being slower than usual. Not easy! 

 

It isn't easy. I am sorry that you are also experiencing this.

 

19 hours ago, hayduke said:

I already had imminent life and career changes unfolding during my taper.  Others may have been able to tread water at their jobs, I did for a while.  

 

Overall though it has been a few years of adaptations towards more true ambitions, and while challenges abound I am glad I changed my life to allow completing the taper rather than the other way round.

 

I am in a bit of a bind in that I live by myself and own a house and have two dogs with complex medical conditions so I can't really change my life all that much if I want to keep my home and afford all of their vet care. I wish I had more flexibility but I really don't at the moment.

 

18 hours ago, j1290 said:

I re-instated once due to work issues.  It helped me pivot and my current taper has been successful.  I decided that getting a grade of C on my work was still passing and acceptable.  I've never been able to tough it out if I cut too much, I've always had to reinstate.  

 

I don't want to reinstate the Vyvanse as I am on two sedating drugs and won't make sense to add one so activating so have to find other ways outside of reinstatement to continue functioning at work but I did go on Zyprexa after my Latuda withdrawal in order to maintain some level of a normal existence so am not opposed to reinstating if/when it makes sense for me.

[FireflyFyte]

On 2/10/2023 at 8:17 PM, Thorin said:

I can’t speak for the Vyvanse (I was on dextroamphetamine when I first joined) but my motivation has slowly improved over time. Be patient if you can it will come and it may be impacted by your stress as well at the moment.

 

I hope my continues to improve over time as well. Thank you for this.

[FireflyFyte]

This weekend has been, well, a lot.

 

I played DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) yesterday and there were several moments with a lot of laughter and realized that I simply couldn't fully feel the joy/amusement of the moments which was disheartening and isolating. It makes me not want to be around other people when I can't be completely present with them.

 

This morning, I saw a picture that shouldn't have bothered me but noticed myself getting upset which spurred on a lot of shame and embarrassment. My emotions still felt dampened but they were there and I resented them.

 

I did manage to get my dogs out for a walk, journaled, and lifted some weights as well which I haven't done in months. I am hoping to get back into a more regular cadence of exercise. Maybe I can shed some of the weight I have gained thanks to Zyprexa/Olanzapine.

 

I will be making my next drop tonight down to 2.25mg of Zyprexa/Olanzapine. I am hoping it will be as uneventful as the first drop.

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, FireflyFyte said:

I played DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) yesterday and there were several moments with a lot of laughter and realized that I simply couldn't fully feel the joy/amusement of the moments which was disheartening and isolating. It makes me not want to be around other people when I can't be completely present with them.

Without a doubt this is due to the medication and you can hold on to the fact that this will reduce as you reduce the dose. I’ve had this exact experience (although it was just life, not D n D). This will return as you progress.

[hayduke]

Yeah I often felt like life was a party next door when drugged.

 

You can meet your needs while changing stuff, never doubt.  You might get leaner and meaner but that don't hurt.  Anyone who reacts poorly is off the xmas card list IMO

[littlebird]

41 minutes ago, hayduke said:

Yeah I often felt like life was a party next door when drugged.

 

So well said!! Even surrounded by people, it feels like they're miles away.

[FireflyFyte]

13 hours ago, Thorin said:

Without a doubt this is due to the medication and you can hold on to the fact that this will reduce as you reduce the dose. I’ve had this exact experience (although it was just life, not D n D). This will return as you progress.

 

I am looking forward to it returning. Thank you for reminding me why I am tapering - really want to experience a full range of emotions and their depths.

 

12 hours ago, hayduke said:

Yeah I often felt like life was a party next door when drugged.

 

This is a great summation of the feeling. It's like I am almost there but not quite.

 

11 hours ago, littlebird said:

So well said!! Even surrounded by people, it feels like they're miles away.

 

Agreed. I can't wait to not feel this way. 

[FireflyFyte]

I have felt the sensation of a racing heart the last few evenings when I am relaxing on the couch. I'm not sure if it is related to my withdrawal and/or the weight sessions I did on Sunday and Monday. I really don't want to cut back on exercise as I try to lose some of the weight I have gained on Olanzapine but will continue to monitor this feeling and determine if it gets better or worse with exercise.

 

Appears that one of my dogs may have melanoma so am bringing her to the vet today. Where it is located, it is most likely not malignant but have started going down the rabbit hole of what melanoma in dogs can mean and let's just say that it isn't happy outcomes. I don't think the realization has hit me yet and the Olanzapine is dampening the impact but have a feeling it will boil over later for me.

 

Despite it all, trying to be productive at work and have been doing better this week versus last. Fingers crossed that I can continue operating at a decent pace.

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, FireflyFyte said:

I really don't want to cut back on exercise as I try to lose some of the weight I have gained on Olanzapine but will continue to monitor this feeling and determine if it gets better or worse with exercise.

Doing more than gentle exercise tends to create adrenaline in our system, and this can fire up a nervous system that is tapering and in withdrawal, meaning it can cause a worsening in withdrawal symptoms.  You may want to consider putting off efforts to lose weight.  

 

Good luck with your dog's health.