FireflyFyte: Latuda withdrawal

[manymoretodays]

7 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

As long as I tolerate the switch, which I have thus far, it's easier for me math wise to reduce if my entire dose is liquid. Last night was 1/2 pill and 1/2 liquid so will do that again this evening before moving onto 1/4 pill and 3/4 liquid. Will be on path to make my first cut Sunday night

 

Well good.  This is new......you are readying for tapering now.  Good, good.

I would suggest a brief wait period of at least a week, once you've gone to full liquid of your dose.....prior to starting the taper.  Just a week.  Just so you get the feel and comfort level with doing the homemade liquid and knowing how it might differ a little bit in how you feel after taking it.  I mean any changes you feel should level out.

You remember 3-7 days with each change, when doing the cross over?  You'll likely be tapering in another week or so anyway.......but do play it a bit by ear, don't get fixed on Sunday as first taper day.  It sounds to me like once you get to full liquid......it will be friday or later........and then give it a whole week just to see how you do on your current dose with full liquid. 

Then you'll know.

And won't have to second guess if it's the liquid or the taper drop that might be causing any bumps or transient symptoms.

Follow?  I hope so......I get wordy.

 

5 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

Have been dealing with some increased anxiety today but it's difficult to know if it is related to the transition to liquid (I hope not) or with some difficulties I have had arise in my life recently including an ex reappearing and then disappearing once more, concerns about my performance at work, and the realization that I have a lot to unpack and address as I begin talking with a new therapist including a possible OCD diagnosis (no, I am not planning to address it with medication but hope to learn new coping skills if applicable).

 

Sounds like a "normal" response to a lot going on.  Just don't get too hung up on diagnostic labels.....the "diagnonsense" we talk about.  Your therapist likely needs a label for billing purposes, that is about it.  As you......are as unique as a snowflake.....not a diagnosis category.  Anyway so you obsess a bit and get anxious.  Who doesn't?  And I know......I do......there are neuroemotions that definitely come into play with tapering and WD........but you ARE in a pretty stable place now with the polypharmacy and so........just don't get so hung up on being "sick" or having a label in your head when you think about yourself.  You are human being.  Beginning the adventure of a lifetime......to becoming medication free one day.

 

Take note of your norm for this pre-tapering.  So that you know and don't fret when situational throws you a bit.......I mean don't fret, that everything is always due to tapering or WD.  There is a world outside of here.......there really is.

 

Well.  Good on getting going with tapering and feeling as ready as ever to do so.

Are you sticking with the suspension then in water of your Zyprexa?  Key is just to shake or swirl it well just prior to taking your dosage.  Are you using a large syringe to draw up and then squirt your dose in your mouth, or just drinking from your mixing container?  I think oral syringes are great for measuring doses.  And then using a separate covered container for mixing your suspension.  Protect it from light and refrigerate once you are getting more than one dose from your mixture.

* and FfF, just do how you feel most comfortable doing......maybe you will just use a syringe to draw out what you are decreasing your dose by......when you start tapering.  That is fine too.  I know you've prepped with hayduke , so go with that information now.

 

You got this.  You do FfF.

 

Cool, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited January 17, 2023 by manymoretodays
additional, and more additional

[manymoretodays]

Hey.....I just edited in a bit FfF.  I don't want to confuse you, and remembered you had been working out your technique with hayduke.

Carry on!  🤓💜

Imma excited for your upcoming taper.

[littlebird]

You’re inspiring me to do yoga! I need to break out the mat and find a good video. 

 

On 1/12/2023 at 1:02 PM, Altostrata said:

It's very likely your "anxiety" symptoms are paradoxical reactions to the excessive amounts of gabapentin you are taking all day long, and your disorientation is likewise due to your overall drug overdosing.

Wanted to jump in and echo this. Years ago, I was on a similar dose of Gabapentin and I had the grogginess and heightened anxiety you’re mentioning. Going to a lower dose actually helped a lot! Plus I felt physically so much better, and had more energy, and less confusion/brain fog.

[FireflyFyte]

16 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Well good.  This is new......you are readying for tapering now.  Good, good.

I would suggest a brief wait period of at least a week, once you've gone to full liquid of your dose.....prior to starting the taper.  Just a week.  Just so you get the feel and comfort level with doing the homemade liquid and knowing how it might differ a little bit in how you feel after taking it.  I mean any changes you feel should level out.

You remember 3-7 days with each change, when doing the cross over?  You'll likely be tapering in another week or so anyway.......but do play it a bit by ear, don't get fixed on Sunday as first taper day.  It sounds to me like once you get to full liquid......it will be friday or later........and then give it a whole week just to see how you do on your current dose with full liquid. 

Then you'll know.

And won't have to second guess if it's the liquid or the taper drop that might be causing any bumps or transient symptoms.

Follow?  I hope so......I get wordy.

 

Altostrata recommended that I start now citing that I am about as stable as I will be on my current cocktail so I started the transition to liquid to prepare. I will fully be on the liquid Friday night so while I don't want to wait any longer, can give it a week before I try my first drop which will be 5%. I'm ready to feel more emotions. Found out this morning that a friend passed away after a battle with cancer and I'm not really feeling sadness - it's eerie. 

 

16 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Sounds like a "normal" response to a lot going on.  Just don't get too hung up on diagnostic labels.....the "diagnonsense" we talk about.  Your therapist likely needs a label for billing purposes, that is about it.  As you......are as unique as a snowflake.....not a diagnosis category.  Anyway so you obsess a bit and get anxious.  Who doesn't?  And I know......I do......there are neuroemotions that definitely come into play with tapering and WD........but you ARE in a pretty stable place now with the polypharmacy and so........just don't get so hung up on being "sick" or having a label in your head when you think about yourself.  You are human being.  Beginning the adventure of a lifetime......to becoming medication free one day.

 

Yes, trying to remind myself that it is normal to experience stress and anxiety and I have a lot going on at the moment regardless of my medication status.

 

16 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Are you sticking with the suspension then in water of your Zyprexa?  Key is just to shake or swirl it well just prior to taking your dosage.  Are you using a large syringe to draw up and then squirt your dose in your mouth, or just drinking from your mixing container?  I think oral syringes are great for measuring doses.  And then using a separate covered container for mixing your suspension.  Protect it from light and refrigerate once you are getting more than one dose from your mixture.

* and FfF, just do how you feel most comfortable doing......maybe you will just use a syringe to draw out what you are decreasing your dose by......when you start tapering.  That is fine too.  I know you've prepped with hayduke , so go with that information now.

 

What I have been doing is taking a 2oz amber colored jar with a lid, adding 25ml of water, putting in my pill, closing the lid, and leaving in the fridge for about an hour. I then take out the jar, open it, and use a coffee stirrer to stir the solution, and then drink from the container. When I am ready to taper, I will remove the amount to decrease (my first drop will be 1.25ml which is 5%) and then drink the remainder. Once I am down to smaller amounts, I will syringe out my dose and take it that way but think at the beginning it will be easier to remove what I need and drink the rest versus trying to syringe out 23.75ml of liquid.

 

16 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

You got this.  You do FfF.

 

Thank you 💜 I am, admittedly, very nervous to begin my taper but I don't want to be poly-drugged forever and think removing the Zyprexa/Olanzapine is a good place to start.

[FireflyFyte]

14 hours ago, littlebird said:

You’re inspiring me to do yoga! I need to break out the mat and find a good video. 

 

I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. She does 30-day yoga journeys and I find them challenging in a positive way.

 

14 hours ago, littlebird said:

Wanted to jump in and echo this. Years ago, I was on a similar dose of Gabapentin and I had the grogginess and heightened anxiety you’re mentioning. Going to a lower dose actually helped a lot! Plus I felt physically so much better, and had more energy, and less confusion/brain fog.

 

I am not opposed to going on a lower dose but I am worried about lowering my dose right as I start my Zyprexa/Olanzapine taper. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a few weeks so suppose I could bring it up to her. Maybe I could see about dropping to 600mg/day instead of 900mg/day.

[FireflyFyte]

After work yesterday, I was able to employ several coping mechanisms to try and address my anxiety levels including yoga, journaling, reading (though my current book isn't engaging me all too well) and made myself some soothing, non-caffeinated tea as well. Part of my journaling is to write down three things I am grateful for and here is my list from yesterday -

1. My career
2. Dr. Sarah (veterinarian)
3. Two less mouse fosters (had picked up three mice that needed foster homes and held onto two of them for a few days until another volunteer could come and pick them up)

Last night was my first evening of 1/2 pill and 1/2 liquid and appreciate that the transition is giving me some time to get accustomed to preparing the solution especially learning how to stir it properly so the pill is evenly distributed in the water. 

 

I woke up a little earlier this morning than usual so, again, not sure if it is related to the move to liquid or not but still slept enough so trying to not hyper-focus on it.

[littlebird]

7 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am not opposed to going on a lower dose but I am worried about lowering my dose right as I start my Zyprexa/Olanzapine taper. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a few weeks so suppose I could bring it up to her. Maybe I could see about dropping to 600mg/day instead of 900mg/day.

Oh yeah, don’t double taper for sure! Glad you’re being safe. You may find that if you lower the Gabapentin, emotions rise. I recently had to lower my dose of it because it was affecting my pancreas, and while I expected the anxiety (and chronic pain) to rise, I didn’t expect for previously numbed out emotions to come up.

 

This sounds bad, perhaps, but the emotional range includes really happy feelings I haven’t been able to access for some time. I’m also able to feel more connected to other people, like an invisible wall has come down that I didn’t know was there.

[FireflyFyte]

17 hours ago, littlebird said:

Oh yeah, don’t double taper for sure! Glad you’re being safe. You may find that if you lower the Gabapentin, emotions rise. I recently had to lower my dose of it because it was affecting my pancreas, and while I expected the anxiety (and chronic pain) to rise, I didn’t expect for previously numbed out emotions to come up.

 

This sounds bad, perhaps, but the emotional range includes really happy feelings I haven’t been able to access for some time. I’m also able to feel more connected to other people, like an invisible wall has come down that I didn’t know was there.

 

I am looking forward to feeling more emotions, even the difficult ones. I am hoping that some will begin to shine through as I taper the Zyprexa/Olanzapine and even more so once I start reducing the Gabapentin.

[FireflyFyte]

Last night was my second evening of taking 1/2 pill and 1/2 of the pill dissolved in water. I woke up again a little early this morning but managed to fall back asleep but still not sure if it is related to the transition to a liquid suspension or not. Even if it is related, it's not disruptive enough to put a hold on the switch. Tonight I will move to 1/4 pill and 3/4 water suspension.

 

I would still like to start my taper on Sunday but am going to try and follow manymoretodays' advice and wait a week so I can see how I fare fully on the water suspension of the Zyprexa/Olanzapine.

 

I ordered gourmet coffee yesterday as I am almost out of coffee at home and realized that I might have to give it up as part of my taper and had a moment of brief sadness on the subject. I know it's a small thing but I really love my morning coffee so possibly having to give it up is just another reminder of how my life could be disrupted by my taper/withdrawals. 

 

I wanted to share my gratitude list again but left my journal at home so will have to catch up on that at a later date.

[FireflyFyte]

Yesterday was my first time taking 1/4 of my Zyprexa/Olanzapine pill normally and the other 3/4 dispersed in water. I'll do the same tonight and tomorrow will be fully on the water suspension of the pill with the idea of making my first cut on January 29th.

 

So far, haven't noticed any real effects from transitioning over to the water suspension so *fingers crossed* that the full switch won't cause any issues and I will be able to start tapering this month.

[Thorin]

Hey FfF, how you travelling. Hope everything’s relatively calm.

cheers

[hayduke]

On 1/2/2023 at 6:13 AM, FireflyFyte said:

 

I tend to do yoga following instructors on YouTube but it might be helpful to attend some classes in person.

 

Definitely.  They can show you what you are really doing in the postures, and will make you do the stuff you don't really want to but need to 🙂

 

On 1/16/2023 at 12:29 AM, FireflyFyte said:

 

I need to space it two hours from my Gabapentin and the bottle says to take it with food and water which is why I decided to split the dose between lunch and dinner but can work on spreading it more evenly throughout the day but apart from my Gabapentin.

 

Last night, I started the transition to a homemade liquid but am worried that Zyprexa/Olanzapine doesn't disperse evenly in water. I put 1/4 of a pill in 25ml of water, put it in the fridge for an hour, took it out, and mixed it with a coffee stirrer but there were a lot of visible, white pieces which might just be filler/casings but has me nervous that my doses won't be even utilizing this method. 

 

@hayduke - when you dissolved your pills, did you have a similar experience? My idea is at the beginning of my taper to take out the reduction (1.25ml to start which is a 5% drop) and drink the rest but when I tried to drink it last night noticed some white pieces stuck to the container. Again, maybe it's just the casing but am worried. I have a scale so could try filing down the pill but also worried that won't be super accurate when down to lower doses.

 

Yes, I am already stressed out about this 😅

 

A lot of people report they have problems crossing over to the liquid suspension.

 

I never found it any more difficult than a scheduled 2.5% dosage adjustment.  I suspect that changing the amount of water per dose can make a difference, I would suggest using smaller volumes where practical.

Flakes and stuff are just filler and binding agents.  Agitate the suspension thoroughly and you will have a reasonable mixture to measure out for at least a couple of minutes.

[FireflyFyte]

17 hours ago, Thorin said:

Hey FfF, how you travelling. Hope everything’s relatively calm.

cheers

 

So far, so good with the transition to a liquid suspension. Tonight will be my first night with the dose fully in a liquid suspension and if everything remains calm (*fingers crossed*), I will make my first 5% cut next weekend. How are you holding up?

 

2 hours ago, hayduke said:

Definitely.  They can show you what you are really doing in the postures, and will make you do the stuff you don't really want to but need to 🙂

 

Yes, I could probably use some help on my form. I'll look into nearby classes this week - thanks for the reminder 😊

 

2 hours ago, hayduke said:

A lot of people report they have problems crossing over to the liquid suspension.

 

I never found it any more difficult than a scheduled 2.5% dosage adjustment.  I suspect that changing the amount of water per dose can make a difference, I would suggest using smaller volumes where practical.

Flakes and stuff are just filler and binding agents.  Agitate the suspension thoroughly and you will have a reasonable mixture to measure out for at least a couple of minutes.

 

So far, I have had no issues with the transition but have done it fairly slowly - two days at 3/4 pill and 1/4 liquid, then two days at 1/2 pill and 1/2 liquid, and then another two days at 1/4 pill and 3/4 liquid so tonight will be my first night with the pill fully in the liquid suspension. Haven't noticed any side effects such as insomnia or increased anxiety so am hoping it will continue to be smooth sailing so I can make my first cut next weekend.

[manymoretodays]

On 1/18/2023 at 6:41 AM, FireflyFyte said:

Altostrata recommended that I start now citing that I am about as stable as I will be on my current cocktail so I started the transition to liquid to prepare. I will fully be on the liquid Friday night so while I don't want to wait any longer, can give it a week before I try my first drop which will be 5%. I'm ready to feel more emotions. Found out this morning that a friend passed away after a battle with cancer and I'm not really feeling sadness - it's eerie. 

 

Yah, I had seen that and am glad to see you get started tapering.

I'm not sure you'll feel any immediate return to what you recall of normal emotions......but yes, over time some of the dumbing and numbing down of the drugs, will begin to shift.

Yah.....eerie.  Maybe even some DP/DR depersonalization, derealization that can present on the drugs and then again in WD.  So we'll see.  Just know......symptoms don't have to be frightening.  Look at them as an observer(which I do acknowledge that you already are doing), and allow them their space.  Just not too much.

 

And good, good.  You will trial a 5% taper from the 2.5 mg present dose of Zyprexa.

Did you get 2.37 mg for your dose, for the taper?

I multiplied 2.5 mg by 0.95 and got 2.375 mg for your first taper dose.  That gives the 5% drop in dose.

 

If for whatever reason you don't feel great with 100% liquid, you can go back and do 1/2 and 1/2, and taper from the liquid portion, like Altostrata mentioned.

 

Congrats on getting to full liquid and doing the crossover to get there!  We can celebrate each step......might as well.  So sending good vibes and doing the final crossover dance.

 

And yoga up!  LOL.  I'm doing ski yoga now I suppose.  Trying, trying to get some asana's practiced and then some theory as well.

 

Best and yay FfF.  Your doing good and dealing with life as it comes as you begin.  Excellent!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Carmie]

Hi FireflyFlyte, 

 

Thank you for popping over to my thread. I’m glad to see that your transition from tablet to liquid went well. I did the same thing. I’ve been water titrating for ages now. 
 

Sending hugs🤗

[FireflyFyte]

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

And good, good.  You will trial a 5% taper from the 2.5 mg present dose of Zyprexa.

Did you get 2.37 mg for your dose, for the taper?

I multiplied 2.5 mg by 0.95 and got 2.375 mg for your first taper dose.  That gives the 5% drop in dose.

 

If for whatever reason you don't feel great with 100% liquid, you can go back and do 1/2 and 1/2, and taper from the liquid portion, like Altostrata mentioned.

 

I will be removing 1.25ml of solution for my first drop so that will bring me to 23.75ml of solution which will equal 2.375mg of the drug.

 

Last night was my first night at full liquid and had some issues falling asleep but it was an emotional day so might be unrelated to the transition. Hopefully I fall asleep without any hassle this evening.

 

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

And yoga up!  LOL.  I'm doing ski yoga now I suppose.  Trying, trying to get some asana's practiced and then some theory as well.

 

Ski yoga?

 

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Best and yay FfF.  Your doing good and dealing with life as it comes as you begin.  Excellent!

 

Thank you, manymoretodays 💜 I truly appreciate all of your support here.

 

3 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi FireflyFlyte, 

 

Thank you for popping over to my thread. I’m glad to see that your transition from tablet to liquid went well. I did the same thing. I’ve been water titrating for ages now. 
 

Sending hugs🤗

 

Appreciate you stopping by, Carmie. I am grateful that the transition went well as I think, for me, it's the easiest way to titrate down versus trying to cut and weigh pills.

[manymoretodays]

11 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

ski yoga?

It's just that I am ski ing now more than doing yoga....I can attempt a mountain pose while on the mountain though....right?  Hey I like Adrienne a lot too, on youtube.....and I am trying to slowly go through my 200 hr Yoga certification.....at my own pace.  I started a Zoom training with a local instructor at the height of Covid.  I couldn't keep up though then.  And now just restarting it.  It's all saved and the instructor is awesome.  I just wasn't ready then.  It's fascinating.

[FireflyFyte]

13 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

It's just that I am ski ing now more than doing yoga....I can attempt a mountain pose while on the mountain though....right?  Hey I like Adrienne a lot too, on youtube.....and I am trying to slowly go through my 200 hr Yoga certification.....at my own pace.  I started a Zoom training with a local instructor at the height of Covid.  I couldn't keep up though then.  And now just restarting it.  It's all saved and the instructor is awesome.  I just wasn't ready then.  It's fascinating.

 

Gotcha! Never got into skiing but I hate the snow so am generally adverse to any snow related activity 😂

 

Glad that you are getting back into yoga. I fell out of it for a few months but trying to practice at least a few times a week. Plan to follow one of Adrienne's videos tonight after work.

[FireflyFyte]

Last night, fell asleep without any issue after my second night of taking my 2.5mg of Zyprexa/Olanzapine dissolved in 25ml of water so hopefully that trend continues.

 

Though I am not sharing them here, I am still keeping daily logs for my own tracking. I did note a fairly heavy period yesterday of depression, and lack of motivation, but have been dealing with some emotionally heavy moment in the last few weeks so difficult to parse out what could be medication related and what is just a fairly normal response to stressors in my life.

 

Had an appointment with my therapist this morning and she suggested that I set some intentions for my next year as my birthday is coming up and told her that part of it was slowly coming off of this medication so I don't have the same experience I did when I came off of the Latuda. She appeared supportive so am glad to have her as a resource during this journey and, as always, am appreciative of the support here from the moderators and fellow members.

[FireflyFyte]

Had my third night of taking my Zyprexa/Olanzapine fully suspended in liquid and haven't noticed any direct effects from the switch as I have fallen asleep fine and slept through the evening though I did have a lot of vivid dreams this morning.

 

I did notice depression, and a feeling of loneliness, last night but, again, not sure I can connect that to the medication when I have had a few less than ideal situations occur relating to dating in the last few weeks. I am starting to think I might have to pause on dating until I am done with my taper to lessen possible emotional turmoil. Not sure I need any more turbulence beyond what the taper may generate.

 

On track to make my first cut this coming Sunday which will be the start of an at least 20 month journey to rid myself of Zyprexa/Olanzapine. 

 

 

[FireflyFyte]

Visited a friend yesterday who was inpatient and she asked that I bring coffee so I, stupidly, had coffee at 7:30 PM at night so struggled to fall asleep last night but thankfully I knew it was the coffee and didn't jump to blame it on the Zyprexa/Olanzapine switch. Tonight, I'll be abstaining from any caffeine so I can, hopefully, fall asleep without issue.

 

I am noticing that my weight is starting to tick up which could be due to the Zyprexa/Olanzapine and/or the Gabapentin. I think I need to be more careful about my calorie intake and try to exercise every day. I have gained around 8 pounds since I started the medication which isn't a lot but am worried that this is just the beginning. I already struggle with self-esteem and while I wish that I didn't associate my weight with my worth, I do so gaining can bubble up a lot of negative emotions for me.

 

Trying to remind myself that I start my taper on Sunday which is the first step in getting off of this medication and hopefully a healthier future. 

[littlebird]

On 1/24/2023 at 5:56 AM, FireflyFyte said:

I have had a few less than ideal situations occur relating to dating in the last few weeks. I am starting to think I might have to pause on dating until I am done with my taper to lessen possible emotional turmoil. Not sure I need any more turbulence beyond what the taper may generate.

This sounds very wise! Dating is so fraught. I know it’s a cliche, and I hope you don’t mind me suggesting this, but maybe you can date yourself during that time. Get some flowers, take yourself somewhere, be a real cute date for yourself: wink in the mirror, compliment yourself, have fun! 

 

I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself and making this taper as full of ease as possible. Cheering you on!

[FireflyFyte]

10 hours ago, littlebird said:

This sounds very wise! Dating is so fraught. I know it’s a cliche, and I hope you don’t mind me suggesting this, but maybe you can date yourself during that time. Get some flowers, take yourself somewhere, be a real cute date for yourself: wink in the mirror, compliment yourself, have fun! 

 

I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself and making this taper as full of ease as possible. Cheering you on!

 

Appreciate the cheers 🥂

 

I have been dating myself for the last year and a half so was looking forward to expanding my horizon but seems like I might have to wait awhile longer. C'est la vie. 

[FireflyFyte]

Didn't have caffeine late yesterday so fell asleep normally. I even slept an hour longer than the night before, and had more deep sleep, so will avoid having caffeine too late in the day going forward. 

 

Otherwise, no noticeable changes so should be set to start my taper on Sunday.

 

I was talking to a friend yesterday about my blunted emotions and he seems to think it's a fair trade for being "stable" but I am really not sure that I agree. I miss having a wider range of emotions and while I know it may be difficult I want to experience them instead of feeling mostly numb. I am hoping that a few months into my taper, I might start to feel emotions more deeply. 

 

I also talked to another friend that I met, virtually, in an Olanzapine tapering group and she suggested that I consider tapering down the Olanzapine to 1.5mg or so, pausing that taper, tapering the Gabapentin, and then resuming the Olanzapine taper. It is something to consider and have some time until I am that low on the Olanzapine. 

[littlebird]

7 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

Appreciate the cheers 🥂

 

I have been dating myself for the last year and a half so was looking forward to expanding my horizon but seems like I might have to wait awhile longer. C'est la vie. 

You know, this is making me remember a time in my life that I had stepped firmly back from dating and was focusing on my own healing journey. Out of the blue, I had a very random conversation with a charming stranger one night. We had a good laugh, exchanged numbers before we went our separate ways, and ended up being the loves of each others' lives. We recently got married (and are getting married again soon so family can watch this time).

 

Life is strange, in the best possible way sometimes! I hope, in the perfect timing for you, a charming stranger crosses your path (and is brave enough to ask if they can see you again). Wishing you all the luck and love in the world! ❤️ 

[FireflyFyte]

On 1/26/2023 at 4:18 PM, littlebird said:

Life is strange, in the best possible way sometimes! I hope, in the perfect timing for you, a charming stranger crosses your path (and is brave enough to ask if they can see you again). Wishing you all the luck and love in the world! ❤️ 

 

Thank you, littlebird 💜

[FireflyFyte]

Tonight, I will be making my first cut and will be reducing my Zyprexa/Olanzapine by 5% so will be going from 2.5mg to 2.375mg. I have been fully on the liquid suspension for over a week and haven't noticed any ill effects so appears that I tolerated the switch and am ready for my first drop. I am, admittedly, nervous but it's time to start dropping some of my medications so I'm not on such a cocktail which is noticeably numbing my emotions and motivation. 

[Thorin]

6 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

Tonight, I will be making my first cut and will be reducing my Zyprexa/Olanzapine by 5% so will be going from 2.5mg to 2.375mg. I have been fully on the liquid suspension for over a week and haven't noticed any ill effects so appears that I tolerated the switch and am ready for my first drop. I am, admittedly, nervous but it's time to start dropping some of my medications so I'm not on such a cocktail which is noticeably numbing my emotions and motivation. 

You’ve got this FfF!

[FireflyFyte]

16 hours ago, Thorin said:

You’ve got this FfF!

 

Thank you, Thorin 💜 I appreciate all of the support.

[FireflyFyte]

My taper has officially begun as last night I went down to 2.375mg from 2.5mg 🎉

 

I struggled a little bit to fall asleep last night but think I just got into my own head too much versus it being related to the reduction. From my history, I usually feel the effects of a drop around 4-5 days after a cut so if I am going to experience them, it probably won't be until Thursday or Friday. I am continuing to keep personal logs so will see if any patterns start to emerge.

 

I was supposed to have a therapy appointment this morning but my therapist isn't feeling the best so it got moved to tomorrow. I was looking forward to talking to her after a tough weekend (lots of relationship concerns and issues with self-esteem) but fell back on some coping skills yesterday (journaling and coloring) and planning to try and care for myself today as best as I can.

[FireflyFyte]

Found out yesterday that I had an exposure to COVID on Sunday so not sure if my stuffy nose today is related to that, my Zyrexa/Olanzapine reduction (it is a histamine antagonizer), or just a reaction to cold/dry air. I am playing it safe though and hunkering down at home until I can test later in the week as most recommendations are to wait 3-5 days post-exposure to test.

 

I also had an odd moment after taking my dogs for a walk where I felt like I wasn't steady on my feet. It wasn't exactly lightheadedness but that's the closest sensation I can think of to compare but it only lasted for maybe 30 seconds. I jotted it down in my daily logs so will see if it happens again, and, if so, is there a pattern to the sensation. It was unsettling.

 

Otherwise, my reduction, to date, has been uneventful. I am not complaining.

 

Had my therapy appointment this morning and we discussed self-esteem and a beginning spot to start building my self-esteem which is being appreciative of what my body can do ("I appreciate my legs that allow me to walk," etc.) which might sound trivial to some but I recognize that I need to start somewhere so bought some sticky notes to begin reminding myself how I appreciate my body.

 

[littlebird]

24 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

Found out yesterday that I had an exposure to COVID on Sunday so not sure if my stuffy nose today is related to that, my Zyrexa/Olanzapine reduction (it is a histamine antagonizer), or just a reaction to cold/dry air. I am playing it safe though and hunkering down at home until I can test later in the week as most recommendations are to wait 3-5 days post-exposure to test.

 

Oof, I'm sorry. That's scary. Glad you're being safe! I'm hearing that the new variants don't always show up on rapid tests, some are saying even PCR tests, so it might be good to test more than once to be on the safe side.

 

I know someone who kept testing negative until the symptoms became more full-blown, past 3-5 days. He's on paxlovid and bouncing back fast, so if worst comes to worst maybe ask about getting a prescription of that. 

 

You'll probably be fine, though, so don't stress if you can help it! Hoping your stuffy nose is unrelated, your immune system is hard at work keeping you safe, and all will be well! Sending happy and peaceful vibes to you on the east coast.

 

29 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

Had my therapy appointment this morning and we discussed self-esteem and a beginning spot to start building my self-esteem which is being appreciative of what my body can do ("I appreciate my legs that allow me to walk," etc.) which might sound trivial to some but I recognize that I need to start somewhere so bought some sticky notes to begin reminding myself how I appreciate my body.

 

I'm right there with you on that journey!! Love the idea of sticky notes to remind me to appreciate my body and all it does for me. Hmm, this has me wondering if there's a thread somewhere on self-esteem/positive self-regard.

 

One of my goals for this year is to build more confidence and be more self-assured. It's a journey for sure! Wish I could just flip a switch and make the change, but it's a process. Team Self-Esteem!

[FireflyFyte]

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

Oof, I'm sorry. That's scary. Glad you're being safe! I'm hearing that the new variants don't always show up on rapid tests, some are saying even PCR tests, so it might be good to test more than once to be on the safe side.

 

I know someone who kept testing negative until the symptoms became more full-blown, past 3-5 days. He's on paxlovid and bouncing back fast, so if worst comes to worst maybe ask about getting a prescription of that. 

 

You'll probably be fine, though, so don't stress if you can help it! Hoping your stuffy nose is unrelated, your immune system is hard at work keeping you safe, and all will be well! Sending happy and peaceful vibes to you on the east coast.

 

Thank you 💜 Trying to not stress out about it but easier said than done as I play the "is it COVID, withdrawals, or just dry air" game. 

 

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

I'm right there with you on that journey!! Love the idea of sticky notes to remind me to appreciate my body and all it does for me. Hmm, this has me wondering if there's a thread somewhere on self-esteem/positive self-regard.

 

One of my goals for this year is to build more confidence and be more self-assured. It's a journey for sure! Wish I could just flip a switch and make the change, but it's a process. Team Self-Esteem!

 

It certainly is a journey but need to start somewhere, right? If all I can muster at the beginning is that I appreciate my lungs allowing me to breathe, then that's alright, it's a start.

 

As far as I know, there isn't a thread on the topic but think it could be helpful.

[FireflyFyte]

I feel a little bit better today but still plan to test tomorrow which will be four days post-exposure. *Fingers crossed* that I don't get COVID - have managed to avoid getting it this far and really don't want to try and determine what are COVID symptoms and what are withdrawal effects.

 

Last night, I again struggled some to fall asleep but I have had a lot on my mind recently so not sure if that is what is causing me to stay awake or if it is related to the reduction. I am still sleeping well though so if all I experience are some troubles falling asleep, will take it and be happy. I was doing guided mediations before bed a little while ago so maybe I should go back to trying that to see if it helps.

 

My sticky notes should get delivered tomorrow so can start leaving appreciations for myself around the house. First step in my journey to improve my self-esteem. 

[FireflyFyte]

Ended up testing yesterday which was negative but going to test today as well. Still have a bit of a stuffy nose but that is fairly common for me as I have chronic sinus concerns so, again, difficult to know the cause. I don't like this guessing game 😅

 

I fell asleep normally last night and slept through the night so am incredibly grateful for that.

 

Have seen Lion's Mane recommended to help with tapering on a few Zyprexa/Olanzapine withdrawal groups on Facebook and am considering adding it to my regime. From what I have researched, it doesn't have any interactions with what I am currently taking. I need to order more magnesium soon so might order some Lion's Mane at the same time so can decide in a few days.

[FireflyFyte]

I fell asleep normally last night but ended up waking up around 2:00 AM and took some time to fall back asleep. Hopefully it was a random one-off and not a sign of things to come.

 

Have really been struggling with a lack of motivation, and depression, this week and worried that at least part of it is related to my current medication cocktail so have to accept that this feeling might linger for several years as I slowly taper the Zyprexa/Olanzapine followed by a Gabapentin taper. I am worried what this might mean for my career and my ability to work effectively which is particularly scary as I live alone and have to be able to support myself and my animals.

 

In other real world concerns, we might have record setting cold this evening so am already starting to get anxious about my pipes freezing though I will be taking steps to try and prevent any issues including letting the tap drip throughout the night. My brain always goes to the worse-case scenario. Thanks, brain.

 

The delivery of my sticky notes has been delayed so haven't started my self-appreciation project yet. I should check on the status to see when they should get delivered.