littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[littlebird]

☎️ I love talking to my friends! So glad I'm isolating less and chatting out more these days.

📙 Libraries are one of the best things in modern society, and yes I will die on that hill. Bring back rich people building libraries with their name on it! If we're gonna have a 2nd gilded age, do it right.

☀️ Sunshine is such a gift to mental health.

🌿 My lil plants are so cute, I know I talk about them all the time but they make me happy every day.

🌀 I think Gabapentin was being sneaky and being behind the dizzy spells I've been having lately, grateful to be slowly figuring out this polydrug puzzle.

👾 I used to feel guilty about playing, in time I could be being productive?? How dare I! Coming to realize that's an unhealthy childhood holdover, and playing is just fine - if not crucial to mental health and enjoyment of life. So when screen time tells me that I've been playing Pokemon Go a lot I will say, "It's never too late to have the childhood you never had." That game also helped me get back out into my neighborhood after getting mugged, so whatevs!

💖 I've been able to have more moments of being present and grateful. Maybe thanks to these gratitude lists - like flexing a muscle of noticing what's good in life.

[littlebird]

☀️ Thank you to everyone who took the time after getting off meds to update us on your success stories and let us know it gets better. This is a long, hard road and it helps to hear that people DO in fact get light at the end of the tunnel!

🍏 Got some delicious apples to snack on, really satisfying!

🧞‍♂️ I've been getting more moments to think about an ideal future and feel occasional hope, which maybe means I'm pulling out of this wave? We'll see.

👾 Got my partner a video game they talked about wanting to try, looking forward to seeing if it's fun.

💐 Watching some flowers bloom! Love spring.

☎️ Still enjoying my phone chats with faraway loved ones (or local folks who have also been busy and we haven't had time to schedule something).

📙 Loving getting library books digitally, the future is now.

🔅 I prioritized rest this weekend and I think I'm feeling a bit better for it.

🐢 Slowly but surely getting things done. It's so easy to fall into "never good enough" thinking, trying to give myself positive reinforcement.

🧵 Did a little textile art this weekend, nice to get back into doing things with my hands for fun.

💜 Feeling grateful for simple pleasures, pretty sure gratitude lists are helping me get into that mindset more often.

[littlebird]

Lunchtime gratitude list is a great habit I'm starting to build. Wonder if I should have one IRL too? Might be a nice way to wind down before bedtime. Hope y'all are well! 

[littlebird]

If I were going to file a formal complaint about a certain insurance company's mental healthcare, how might one professionally say, "Y'all got me ***** up"? 

[littlebird]

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

If I were going to file a formal complaint about a certain insurance company's mental healthcare, how might one professionally say, "Y'all got me ***** up"? 

AI has my back on this one:

 

"Filing a formal complaint against Kaiser Healthcare while maintaining a professional tone is essential for ensuring your concerns are taken seriously. Here's a suggested approach:

1. Identify the Appropriate Channel: Determine the correct department or contact within Kaiser Healthcare to address your complaint. This might be their customer service department, patient advocate office, or a specific complaints department.

2. Use Formal Language: Begin your complaint with a polite and formal introduction. Address the recipient by their appropriate title and include your own contact information for follow-up.

3. Clearly State the Issue: Describe the problem concisely and objectively. Provide specific details such as dates, times, names of individuals involved, and any relevant documentation you may have.

4. Express Your Dissatisfaction Professionally: Instead of using informal language like "Y'all got me ***** up," articulate your dissatisfaction in a professional manner. You can use phrases like:

"I am deeply disappointed..."
"I am concerned about..."
"I believe there has been a misunderstanding..."
"I expected better service..."
5. Request Resolution: Clearly state what you expect as a resolution to your complaint. This could be an apology, corrective action, reimbursement, or any other appropriate remedy.

6. Close Politely: Thank the recipient for their attention to the matter and express your hope for a prompt resolution."

[littlebird]

Lunchtime Gratitude Time!

 

🐞 Figuring out some bugs at work, it satisfies the problem-solving/puzzle-loving part of my personality.

🍊 I got some fresh oranges from someone! What does one do when one has a whole bag of them? Make juice? Feels like I can't eat them all, was thinking about seeing if any neighbors wanted any.

🌙 The moon has been so pretty. With city lights I can't always see the stars when I'm at home, but the moon is a constant friend (when when I can't see her behind the clouds or when she's dark).

🥑 Got some avocados! I've noticed when I taper Gabapentin I crave them more often, wonder why? The healthy fat has to be good for the brain, but I wonder if there are other things going on. Now that I think about it, sometimes I also crave milk and ice cream when working with Gabs.

📘 I think Mieko Kawakami is my favorite author I've read this year. Fascinating style, very slice of life, intrigued by how her mind works.

♈️ Aries season starting with a bang! I've had usually mild-mannered friends mention wanting to rage-quit, emotions are high, and it's a new astrological season bay-bee. If you know and love an Aries, have you praised them recently?

💞 As scary as it was to let my partner in/be seen/not have one foot out the door (don't worry, they also had one of theirs out a window and we're v happily married now) I am SO GRATEFUL I got through all the flight/fight/freeze trauma responses and started feeling safe enough to be truly known and whatnot. I've been going through some **** in my life I'm not ready to get into here, and it feels really good to be able to lean on someone.

[littlebird]

Ahhhhhh can't tell if something want to do at work will be a good, proactive thing or an over-reach and I still need to do something that was assigned awhile ago and if asking my boss about all this would be a bother or if it would be good to check before doing it and...... just logging in to say anxiety is a real beast, y'all. 😎 Solidarity to my fellow over-thinkers.

[littlebird]

Some hormonal imbalances are showing up in recent blood tests, which other doctors haven't looked at before so I don't have a baseline for how they've always been. A little light googling revealed that any one of these polydrugging pills could be contributing.

 

Ugggggh... "long term use leads to hormonal imbalances" popping up right and left. I'm gonna have to look into what these hormones are doing, seems like affecting mood is just the tip of the iceberg. So many complicated parts of our body systems. It's been hard to get in with docs, seems like our local system is having some issues with staffing or people needing more care or both.

[littlebird]

☎️ Had some nice long phone calls with friends, felt good to be there emotionally for them in tough times.

🍑 Starting to plan spring planting with my partner, it'll be nice to dig into some soil and get lil starters going.

🌙 The moon has been so pretty! 

🌿 Potted some cuttings I'd been propagated yesterday, it's so nice to work with plants.

🦋 A butterfly landed on a plant I was working on outside for a moment.

👾 Letting my inner child kick back and play some games, trying to not think of what I "should be" doing and instead just allow myself time to play.

🌺 Enjoying watching flower buds and new leaves come in! Spring is my favorite season.

[littlebird]

☎️ Noticing that the more kind and compassionate I am to myself, the more it comes naturally to be compassionate to friends when they reach out with things going on.

✴️ Feeling more hope about figuring out some health issues, and grateful for modern medicine making advancement. 

🌙 The moon was so bright last night! It was a nice distraction to notice it in the sky.

🌳 Saw a hawk in a tree next to my house, so cool to see a lil urban raptor!

🧞‍♂️ I've been allowing myself to think about best case scenarios and spend a little time daydreaming in a hopeful (not an anxious) way.

🦄 Thinking about getting back into the local non-binary group, might be nice to chat with other folks who have similar experiences in life.

🌸 Saw the most lovely cherry blossoms yesterday, and a plum tree I sometimes scrump fruit from (otherwise they litter the sidewalk, victimless crime) is blossoming too - might try making some jam this year.

[LotusRising]

Love this @littlebird!

[littlebird]

Good psychiatrists exist, they ARE out there! It takes more than 2 hands to count how many I've talked to since I was hustled into my first one as a teenager (who I termed at the time "the pill jockey," a lil jerk who threatened involuntary inpatient and ECT when none of the many, many meds he cycled me through way too fast fixed my trauma). 

 

I finally feel like I have someone who listens to me, hears what I'm saying, believes me when I describe symptoms, is open to over-medication being an actual thing that happens to people, and is willing to let me lower as slowly as my body feels it needs to. She's nailed things I didn't even consider, asks great questions, and each appointment feels like a mini therapy session to boot. 

 

If you don't like your psychiatrist and don't feel heard/believed/respected, and there are others you could get a second opinion from, consider this a sign from the universe to make an appointment with someone new and keep trying to find someone who feels like a good fit.

[littlebird]

⛈️ Had some nice storms watering all the plants

🌸 Spring is getting going!

🪁 It's been nice to get fresh air and warmer weather

🌀 Caught an anxiety spiral and was able to self-soothe!

☘️ Loving all the new leaves popping up on houseplants

🔆 Making progress with this polydrugging, hoping to one day be making a success story post on here about being happily drug-free

🍊 Gonna try to eat some fruit today! Excited to get into more foods outside my usual things I go for, haven't really explored the world of food much until getting into ED recovery. 

☎️ Had some long phone calls with friends while resting my sleepy body this weekend, it's been nice to get back into chatting on the phone

[littlebird]

🌹 Got some flowers from my partner, really brightening up the house 🥰

🧶 Talking creativity with folks and getting inspired again, might do something multi-media so I have something to do with my hands

🌼 Enjoying all the spring flowers!

🌿 Propagating some new cuttings after potting the last ones I had going

🐳 Was very productive today! Ran outta steam, but got some good progress going

👾 Might kick back with some video games later, I'm feeling the need to chillax

🌺 The recent rain has lots of buds growing, looking forward to a lush spring

🌸 Enjoying taking my pup for walks, we've been having some good rambles

🕊️ Been seeing some cool birds!

[littlebird]

🍉 Feeling connected to people in new and especially deep ways 

✴️ Encouraged someone to get back into their art, then realized I needed to do the same thing - feeling better about making time for it

🌼 Loving all the flowers budding and blooming!

🌿 Repotted a plant that was getting a little cramped, it's always nice when they settle in and thrive with more space

👖 Gonna get rid of some clothes, I have so many I haven't worn in years and it's time for some spring cleaning and making more space for myself too

👾 I let myself just kick back and play a video game when I was getting really tense last night, it helped me unwind before bed and it's nice to give our inner children what they want sometimes

🌷 We've had so much rain lately that bulbs that have been long-dormant are sprouting in an abandoned lot - didn't even know they were sleeping under there all this time

🌸 The plum and cherry trees are really pretty as I walk around town

🐻‍❄️ Coming out of my winter hibernation and ready to make some life changes 😤

[littlebird]

☁️ Experiencing a lot of dissociation after some re-traumatizing experiences lately, BUT looking for ways to figure out that particular cPTSD symptom. Heard a suggestion to set random alarms throughout the day to shake yourself out of it, which might be worth a shot. Glad there's more research on this area than there was when I was first diagnosed.

🌸 Loving the cherry blossoms!

☎️ Had a good long chat with a friend while we did things around the house, it was so nice. I'm loving this particular habit that's developing!

🧶 Getting back into textile art a bit, very cozy on chilly days

✴️ Enjoying having external goals, it's helping me work on things outside of my own healing journey and give me a sense of accomplishment

🌼 So many flowers blooming around town! I love spring.

🧩 Enjoying figuring out some work-related puzzles.

🌐 Thinking about places to go that have better healthcare, turns out a LOT of countries have a real leg up on us. Interesting to daydream about making a big move.

🌀 Learning more techniques to handle cPTSD stuff that's been coming up lately, and I'm so grateful to have tools and resources to help me catch spiraling.

🪁 Every time I open a window, I get a big burst of spring breeze! 

☔️ All the rain is making the plants very happy!

👾 Gave myself a little time just playing games last night to wind down before bed (then switched to a book for the pre-bed winding down)

🌺 Life feels a bit hard with a lot pressing in from all sides, but putting together my lil colorful gratitude lists on my lunch breaks has been great to help me calm down a little during the middle of the work day and shift my focus to what is good in life.

💗 Feeling really grateful to have a support circle!

[Carmie]

Hi @littlebird

 

It’s nice to see you’re still doing gratitude lists. Hope you’re doing okay💛

[littlebird]

8 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi @littlebird

 

It’s nice to see you’re still doing gratitude lists. Hope you’re doing okay💛

Carmie!!! Always a pleasure to see you back. I can't thank you enough for the gratitude list idea, they provide an oasis in waves and brighten up windows even more. I started making time for them on lunch breaks, and it's a beautiful little moment to redirect my thinking away from problem-solving and towards what's good in life.

 

I think of you, and hope you're well and your health is growing! I'd like to order up truly magical, astounding levels of healing, deliverable immediately, to Carmie in Australia. I'm being a night owl, so maybe when I hit "send" you'll get an afternoon good vibe. Who knows!

[littlebird]

☎️ Feels good to be able to help friends through things, even at a distance.

🏵️ More and more spring flowers are coming!

🌙 I saw a partial eclipse today! Pretty cool. 

🧩 Figuring out work puzzles and solving problems, feeling very accomplished after this Monday!

🧞‍♂️ Spent some time daydreaming/manifesting with friends, and it was lovely to think hopeful thoughts.

♈️ Aries season is really firing me up! I've been very productive at work and in my personal life.

🌺 Got an unexpected bouquet from my partner.

🌸 There are some plum blossoms around here where the leaves are purple. It looks like a fairy tree, all purples and pinks in the spring.

🌐 Thinking about where I might like to go in the world, maybe for good? Might be fun to throw things in storage and check out somewhere new!

[Carmie]

@littlebird You little night bird you, you should have called yourself littleowl🦉🌕🌖😃

 

I’m so very happy to hear that doing gratitude lists has been beneficial. Keep up the good work📝📝📝📝📝📝💛

[littlebird]

☎️ Had a chat with a friend going through a rough time, this pal has been there for me in the past and it felt good to be able to return the favor and lend an ear/remind them to go easy on themselves.

✴️ Had a productive talk with my boss, asserted myself, and it was well-received.

🏵️ Seeing some flowers I don't usually spot, maybe the extra rain this year is making some bulbs grow?

🧩 Figuring out all sorts of puzzles at work, and helping us save and make more money. It's been very satisfying!

🦋 Watched a butterfly during a break and it helped pull me out of my head and into the present moment.

💟 Carved out some time to spend with friends, glad we made time to be social.

🌺 Having a nice spring so far!

[littlebird]

Oh, and being married really does save you money on taxes! 🤑 Here's hoping the supreme court doesn't come for queer marriage, but we're not ruling it out. Enjoying the benefits while it lasts. Even if some temporary government says we're not married anymore, we still will be in our hearts.

 

Our major senior year project was a giant research paper on a topic of our choosing, mine was in favor of gay marriage. Of course, in high school, I was a deeply passionate ally (who was deeply in my Middle America closet). Even as I researched and argued for it, I wasn't sure this puritanical country ever would allow same-sex marriage. Glad we got there.

 

It's very cool that we've come this far in my lifetime. Here's hoping the backlash doesn't carry us too far back. It's getting mighty reactionary up in these not so united states!

Edited April 15 by littlebird

[littlebird]

🚗 Sang in the car while running an errand; I think it was good for my spirit. 

🦁 Gave my pup lots of cuddles and love, it was nice to snuggle

🌙 The moon has been so pretty!

🧩 Continuing to solve work puzzles and get us in good shape

🦋 Been seeing lots of butterflies and birds

👾 Took a break last night to play a video game for a few minutes and wind down, helped distract me from a life issue and get my mind off it long enough for my nervous system to chill out.

🌸 Enjoying all the spring blooms happening!

🥥 Been loving coconut water, maybe it's the potassium or the electrolytes, but body is saying, "Yes please, thank you, more"