littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[littlebird]

On 10/19/2023 at 1:48 PM, Angus said:

@littlebird I really enjoy your gratitude posts☺️- they are so encouraging! Keep it up😊.  

Thank you! It's helped a lot while in waves to focus on what's good. Gotta remind myself to keep the practice up. Hope you've been well!

[littlebird]

These Kaiser generics just 😎 keep 🤡 on 🫠 changing these days. Trying to be grateful that I have access at all as this does seem reflective of med shortages across the map, but really not looking forward to these upcoming changes. Manifesting stability in all senses bayBEE!

 

So *counts pills* these changes coming down the pike thanks to Kaiser are:

This week: Switching back to generic Seroquel cause brand name couldn't be sourced this month

Next week: Switching Pristiq generics (again)

Following week: Switching Wellbutrin formulation. Same factory/numbers on pills, but new generic has smaller/shinier pills that straight up smell like rotten eggs

 

Praying I don't lose my dang mind with these changes one right after the other. If I were more financially stable, I'd switch so hard to brand name. Although even when brand name is ordered, sometimes they just send generic anyway a la Seroquel this month so maybe that's not 100% either.

Stability please!!!! I'm just trying to keep my feet on the ground and not get swept away by waves.

[littlebird]

Does anyone else look at music they were listening to at a time to gauge how mental health was? I was thinking I wasn't doing so hot, but then I looked at what I was listening to earlier this year and remembering I was feeling mighty bleak and my music choices matched.

 

Works for years too, scrolling back through Spotify most played by year is really reminding me of where I was at that time. Just saying, one year my most listened to track was called Human Sadness. We've come a long way, baby!

 

My "on repeat recently" list is much more of a happy/energetic vibe these days. Most played recently is about getting back up after falling and it's fun to dance to. Doing a lil computer dance right now listening to it. Gonna dance my way into this Monday! Today WILL be a good day, by hook or by crook. 😤

[Angus]

Love your last post👍😊 Believing today will be a great day and all the med switches will not b impactful😊😊.

[littlebird]

❤️ Grateful for community ❤️

🎃 Enjoyed seeing how people are decorating for autumn, there are some cute gourd arrangements around

☀️ Currently got some sunshine!

🍀 Feeling very lucky in this moment

🦋 So many butterflies hanging out these days! 

♏️ Scorpio season came in like a cracking thunderstorm, all of a sudden everyone I knew was feeling alllll the feelings and coping in their various ways! Myself included. Ready or not, time to go deep y'all!

💞 Been enjoying chatting with people I love, can't believe I isolated for so long! Feels like meds really cut me off from the people I care about and it's good to be reconnecting/connecting anew with new friends 

[littlebird]

Anyone else feel like their negative experience with psych meds has brought some wariness of all meds? I am typing this with a migraine, and I know that migraine prescription medicine helps. Yet I'm toughing it out, like I do ever 2-3 months when one of these hit.

 

Telling myself, "Don't be a hero, LB," but it's so hard to trust that a medicine affecting my brain won't affect my mental health further. Then again, my mental health surely is suffering after a day of pain and sensitivity to light and sound in a busy city. The pain is bad and over the counter meds aren't touching it. It's also too late to get it today, I suffered too long and doomed myself to suffer a little longer! 

 

Anyone got a good homegrown migraine tip? Might try some peppermint tea, heard that can help. Might also try diving out of my corporeal form into the core of the earth, we'll see.

[j1290]

4 hours ago, littlebird said:

Been enjoying chatting with people I love, can't believe I isolated for so long! Feels like meds really cut me off from the people I care about and it's good to be reconnecting/connecting anew with new friends 

I'm so happy for you, LB!   I think I read somewhere that the quality of the relationships you have plays a significant role in your quality of life.   I think there's truth to that.  I've had some of that myself lately and it's such a gift.  

 

Hey how are the halloween decorations looking these days?  I was walking around a bit today and saw that some people had really done them up.  I'm not that guy, but I aspire to be one day 😄🎃

[littlebird]

OK, the past generic changes have hit me so hard that I'm dreading these upcoming generic switches. I have 2 doses of brand name Seroquel left, thinking maybe I should conserve those in case the generic is another bad one and I need a stop-gap while sourcing more brand name. Haven't taken this one before, so there is a chance that it'll be fine. I'm about to run out of the Pristiq I was taking and will have to switch generics on that, so maybe I should take Serq generic tonight and start getting adjusted before throwing another change in. Damn these unwanted changes!

 

I was also thinking that this anxiety might increase the chances of feeling the changes, so if I can figure out a way to relax about it maybe I'll be less likely to feel a change. 

[littlebird]

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

Hey how are the halloween decorations looking these days?  I was walking around a bit today and saw that some people had really done them up.  I'm not that guy, but I aspire to be one day 😄🎃

It's a mix! We've got some scary ones, some cute ones, and then some autumn-themed harvesty ones that I'm kinda feeling. Did see someone who made a bunch of cute ghosts to hang from a tree in their front yard that looked pretty cute... got me thinking about what I'd do if I got into decoration.

 

I was reading if you dip a fall leaf in beeswax it'll preserve the color for years, was thinking if I can find any trees changing color that might be a fun project.

[j1290]

I dig the harvesty stuff myself.  I only like G-rated things these days 😄 The leaf project sounds really cool, let me know if you get a chance to try it!

[j1290]

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

OK, the past generic changes have hit me so hard that I'm dreading these upcoming generic switches

This just sucks.  You're going to weather the storm like you always do, but I wish you didn't have to go through this.  Tapering is hard enough as it is.  

 

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

so if I can figure out a way to relax about it maybe I'll be less likely to feel a change. 

For me it took a couple weeks to adjust.  Hopefully it goes smoothly for you, fingers crossed!

[littlebird]

16 hours ago, j1290 said:

You're going to weather the storm like you always do, but I wish you didn't have to go through this.

Thanks, friend! Realized I remembered wrong and only had 1 brand name dose left so I took the generic last night. So far so good. Took me longer than usual to feel the effects, but then it kicked in and I slept through the night. My sleep is so much better on less of this stuff! Did not expect that one bit. Doctor was saying maybe it's that I'm waking up less groggy, but I'm also sleeping through the night when I was waking up often before. Also having less nightmares and my carpal tunnel is better without sleep-fighting and jacking up my wrists. 

 

Here's hoping this generic treats me ok! It would save me $20 a month if it works and I don't have to re-up brand name. I remember it took a little while for the less-pleasant side effects of that bad generic to kick in, so gonna keep an eye on that. Hope you're doing well!

Quote

Funny Little Things About WD:

DUDE 🤣 How did I just catch this

[littlebird]

I dunno about this new Seroquel generic. It's strong enough to put me to sleep, so maybe it's fine? Had a tough therapy session the day after the Serq change and oh so many life stressors, so it's really hard to tell to parse out what is med-related and what is cPTSD and/or external life problems. If only the life stuff or the generic changes would give me a break, but sometimes it's a perfect ******* storm. ⛈️

 

Gonna have to lean hard on the ole coping skills and keep pushing through! 😤 Pristiq generic change coming in soon... might be a good day to soothe the nervous system in preparation.

[littlebird]

22 hours ago, littlebird said:

I dunno about this new Seroquel generic.

SI is back, passive intrusive thoughts. Anxiety is worse. Memory taking a hit too, couldn't remember what dose of Gabapentin I took and I take that 3x a day. Not sure if I should keep it up or try and get name brand again. Took my last of the Pristiq before the generic changes tomorrow. Might be worth pursuing the name brand Seroquel to keep the boat from getting rocked too hard? I was hoping this generic Seroquel would work for me cause it's $20 less a month than the name brand and times are tough in the ole bank account, but maybe it would be worth investing in? Arrrrgh I wish someone could just tell me what to do.

[Carmie]

Hi @littlebird, I’m sorry to hear that the change of brand has affected you. I’ve been on a generic brand of Seroquel forever. Even changing to a different generic, when you’re on one, can affect us. I’m not on the generic brand because of cost, as the original Seroquel isn’t that expensive. I just ended up on it as that’s what the pharmacy had at the time. 
 

I was always wondering what to do if all of a sudden they didn’t make the brand that I’m on anymore. If that happens I’m going to cross taper, we’ll it’s not actually cross tapering as you’re not tapering while you’re doing it. It’s more of a cross over or a cross transition. You have to have enough of the old brand though to do this. I see you leave it to your last tablet before you change to the new brand. Cross transitioning is extremely helpful with any of the medications we are on. 
 

Sending hugs your way🤗

[littlebird]

17 hours ago, Carmie said:

If that happens I’m going to cross taper, we’ll it’s not actually cross tapering as you’re not tapering while you’re doing it. It’s more of a cross over or a cross transition.

This is brilliant, gonna look into how to safely crossover with upcoming generic changes. I struggle a bit with mathing it when the two pills have different weights, but I can figure that out if I keep at it and double check my work. How have you been, Carmie?

 

Got a tapering win - started new generic of Pristiq and feel more clear-headed than I did the entire time I was taking the last one. Feels like a very good sign! Still unsure about this generic Seroquel, keeping a close eye on symptoms. Realized with the time change and it getting dark so early, seasonal depression might also be another factor in the mental health mix!

[littlebird]

☀️ The sun is shining! 

🍀 Got new sprouts and growth indoors and out

🦋 There's a little butterfly visiting my lavender plant

☮️ I have this usually busy shared space all to myself for the moment

🦄 Lots of folks having babies, sending me into baby shops which are new to me - the tiny clothes yooooooooo. 😭

🌈 I was reflecting that if my current life circumstances hit when I was on the full dose of meds I was popping in a handful a year ago I'd be losing my mind with panic attacks. Even when things get hard, with medications more under control (and not interacting or in such high doses), I'm handling stress waaaaay better.

🎃 We got some trick or treaters last night! Never know year to year if we'll see any. Some very cute families and costumes came through. We didn't get enough to use up all the candy we bought, so I might put a bowl out for any adult mail carriers or delivery drivers who want some snacks.

🍅 Been getting a big harvest of our lil urban garden this year! Just checked out some plants, got some more harvest and processing to do today

[Poppy745]

@littlebird Hey littlebird. I am new to the site and came across your gratitude list. Thank you for this. I will try and write one of my own.  I'm having a lot of horrible anxiety at the moment, so maybe it will help 🙂

[littlebird]

On 10/31/2023 at 11:28 AM, littlebird said:

Got a tapering win - started new generic of Pristiq and feel more clear-headed than I did the entire time I was taking the last one. Feels like a very good sign!

Second day of taking this, 100% better than the last generic. Feeling a lot more clear-headed, if a bit more anxious.

[Poppy745]

On 10/26/2023 at 2:03 AM, littlebird said:

Anyone else feel like their negative experience with psych meds has brought some wariness of all meds? I am typing this with a migraine, and I know that migraine prescription medicine helps. Yet I'm toughing it out, like I do ever 2-3 months when one of these hit.

 

Telling myself, "Don't be a hero, LB," but it's so hard to trust that a medicine affecting my brain won't affect my mental health further. Then again, my mental health surely is suffering after a day of pain and sensitivity to light and sound in a busy city. The pain is bad and over the counter meds aren't touching it. It's also too late to get it today, I suffered too long and doomed myself to suffer a little longer! 

 

Anyone got a good homegrown migraine tip? Might try some peppermint tea, heard that can help. Might also try diving out of my corporeal form into the core of the earth, we'll see.

Hey. Yes I feel like this. I am now worried about all medication. I think that the neuro anxiety is making this worry much worse in my case. I feel like I go from one anxiety to the next at the moment. It is exhausting. It had previously been a lot better for a few weeks. I hope you managed to get your migraine sorted out and have been feeling better. 🙂

[littlebird]

On 11/1/2023 at 1:37 PM, Poppy745 said:

@littlebird Hey littlebird. I am new to the site and came across your gratitude list. Thank you for this. I will try and write one of my own.  I'm having a lot of horrible anxiety at the moment, so maybe it will help 🙂

It helps so much, especially on hard days! I think making it a practice is helping me tune into things I appreciate too, I find that I'm experiencing more gratitude for the little things in life. Welcome to the site! 

 

14 hours ago, Poppy745 said:

Yes I feel like this. I am now worried about all medication.

Yup, and it's hard to trust that doctors know that much given how little psychiatrists seem to know about how these meds can affect people. I keep thinking that I might benefit from working on that, because it sure seems like more and more medical care is needed as we age! Trying to split the balance between doing my own homework and trying to trust medical care. Not easy!

 

14 hours ago, Poppy745 said:

I hope you managed to get your migraine sorted out and have been feeling better. 🙂

As the migraine wore on, I realized I need to just accept that while migraine medication can affect my mental health, so does prolonged acute pain! I haven't reached out to my doctor yet, but I'm thinking it might be a good idea to have something on hand that melts the migraine - it worked like gangbusters back in the day when I took it.

[j1290]

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

but I'm thinking it might be a good idea to have something on hand that melts the migraine - it worked like gangbusters back in the day when I took it.

Even if I don't use it(I rarely do) it's nice to know I have something I can take if needed.  

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

Even if I don't use it(I rarely do) it's nice to know I have something I can take if needed.  

This might fall under a pattern of behavior where I put up with pain when it's not necessary. Like a pair of boots I keep wearing that hurt my feet or putting off the dentist when a tooth needs work. Hm.... might have to noodle around on this pattern a bit and untangle it.

[Carmie]

Hi @littlebird, have you ever checked out Dr Sarno and his work on TMS and pain. It’s really interesting. I only stumbled across it the last few months or so. His books are really good, I’ve got three of them.
 

My breathing problems are autoimmune, so they don’t actually fall into the category of things he talks about. CFS, on the other hand, is on the same spectrum as tension myositis syndrome (TMS), as are migraines. These things are mind-body illnesses. The pain and the symptoms are real, but they are caused by repressed anger, stuffing down our emotions forever. 
 

I like watching Dan Buglio videos on YouTube as well, he’s got a channel called Pain Free You. He had back pain for a long time, I think 13 years if I remember correctly, until he came across Dr Sarno. He posts videos every day, they are really chill. 
 

Sending hugs🤗

[littlebird]

11 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi @littlebird, have you ever checked out Dr Sarno and his work on TMS and pain. It’s really interesting. I only stumbled across it the last few months or so. His books are really good, I’ve got three of them.

Ooh, I'll look into this! Thank you for the resource.

 

11 hours ago, Carmie said:

These things are mind-body illnesses. The pain and the symptoms are real, but they are caused by repressed anger, stuffing down our emotions forever. 

So real. I don't think it's a coincidence that I tend to get migraines and pain-flares from fibromyalgia after trauma is reactivated! 

 

11 hours ago, Carmie said:

I like watching Dan Buglio videos on YouTube as well, he’s got a channel called Pain Free You. He had back pain for a long time, I think 13 years if I remember correctly, until he came across Dr Sarno. He posts videos every day, they are really chill

Thank you! I'm gonna check this out and share with some folks who also have chronic pain. 

 

11 hours ago, Carmie said:

Sending hugs🤗

Big hugs to you as well, Carmie! Hope your breathing is easing and you have LOTS to add to your gratitude lists.

[littlebird]

Finding it a lot easier to be present with people and foster community and friendship on less meds. Had no idea how blocked that all was until it wasn't!

 

Not gonna lie, not being able to have a casual beer is really amplifying how bad my social anxiety really is, but I do feel better with alcohol cut out in other ways. I never thought I had a problem with drinking as I do it so rarely, but hoo boy has that been hard to eliminate. 

 

Having a hard week, which is making me especially grateful for the community on here. This peer support has helped me grapple the polydrugging problem and get it under control. While I have a long road to hoe ahead of me on that, I'm getting there little by little.

 

Feeling hopeful, which is maybe a sign that body is getting used to new Seroquel generic? I'd been feeling under-medicated since I started it, one part of a perfect storm of hard week, and I'll take any positive sign that I'm stabilizing and run with it. Fingers crossed I'm feeling more normal soon and can resume the original tapering plan. Can't wait to not be dependent on these suckers.

[j1290]

Question for you, LB.  Do you do yoga?  Does it ever unlock emotions for you?  

[littlebird]

On 11/3/2023 at 8:45 PM, j1290 said:

Question for you, LB.  Do you do yoga?  Does it ever unlock emotions for you? 

OH YEAH, there's a reason why I don't do it too often and try to find a solid teacher when I do. Have you read Waking the Tiger, about trauma living in the body? Yoga wakes it up big time.

 

If you can find a trauma-informed yoga class it's often addressed and you're guided in working through it, seriously game-changing to have a good one. The best trauma-informed class I ever went to was led by a licensed therapist who was excellent at knowing when poses would likely bring things up for her students and included really good advice for working through it in her class flow. I miss her, she left the area.

 

I guess emotions in general too, not just trauma. Remember when I told you about bursting into tears unexpectedly while out with friends and it was super out of character for me? I was 10 minutes out of the first yoga class I'd taken in over a year. 😎 

[j1290]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

OH YEAH, there's a reason why I don't do it too often and try to find a solid teacher when I do. Have you read Waking the Tiger, about trauma living in the body? Yoga wakes it up big time.

No kidding?  Never read that book but it sounds good, I'll add it to the Amazon list.  

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

The best trauma-informed class

Wow I had no idea that existed!  I'll keep that in mind when I'm looking for a class.  

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Remember when I told you about bursting into tears unexpectedly while out with friends and it was super out of character for me? I was 10 minutes out of the first yoga class I'd taken in over a year. 😎 

Oh, OK that makes a lot of sense now that I've done it.   I had emotional ripples after the class I took as well.  Totally didn't expect it.  

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

No kidding?  Never read that book but it sounds good, I'll add it to the Amazon list.

I like that author a lot. Do you ever use Libby? You can get a lot of books digitally for free if you have a library card. Audiobooks and magazines too, it's dope. 

 

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

'll keep that in mind when I'm looking for a class. 

Helps a lot to have guidance for emotions coming up!

 

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

I had emotional ripples after the class I took as well.  Totally didn't expect it. 

It's wild. I know yoga would help me physically, but with once a month trauma therapy I don't feel emotionally supported enough to get back into it quuuuuite yet. Just looking up "trauma informed yoga" on youtube had a lot of results pop up, so that might be a good option (and that way I can cry at home next time). 

[littlebird]

Maybe it's generic changes, maybe it's life stress, maybe it's Scorpio season.... probably all 3 plus a whole lot more. I'm gonna keep white-knuckling the generic Seroquel, it might even out and that way I err on the side of less changes and saving money. Unless I gambled wrong on that choice and it's taking me deeper into a pit and getting back on brand name will feel way too strong again after a low-quality generic. 😎 

 

I don't know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, but holding means less change and less out of pocket cost and it might work out if I give it a little more time. Wish I could just take a test and see how much medication is in my system and how it compares to the last version of this med I was on. 

[j1290]

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

ust looking up "trauma informed yoga" on youtube had a lot of results pop up, so that might be a good option (and that way I can cry at home next time). 

I'll be darned.  That's pretty cool.   Yeah its good to do this stuff in a supportive environment for sure!

 

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

Unless I gambled wrong on that choice and it's taking me deeper into a pit and getting back on brand name will feel way too strong again after a low-quality generic. 😎 

I recall feeling like the firehose was on full blast when I took the name brand wellbutrin compared to the generic, and it was better but yeah a little overwhelming.   Tapering and brand changes is all such a messy process.  How long does it normally take you to adjust to a new generic?  

[littlebird]

7 hours ago, j1290 said:

Tapering and brand changes is all such a messy process.  How long does it normally take you to adjust to a new generic?

I feel like a couple weeks is standard, which means if this works out I have another week of rockiness. Gave partner a heads up about decreasing mental health since starting generic (which coincided with tough trauma therapy, so it really could be cPTSD mixed with the WD/taper blues).

[littlebird]

7 hours ago, j1290 said:

I recall feeling like the firehose was on full blast when I took the name brand wellbutrin compared to the generic, and it was better but yeah a little overwhelming. 

Not to be a scuzzball but it's kinda almost like drugs that haven't been cut with something to get brand name. Back in the day that's what used to be called Molly, the good pure stuff. Kids nowadays call any ole MDMA pill Miss Molly. 

 

PSA: Street drugs often aren't safe, don't be like young LB was (especially if you're on psych meds).

[littlebird]

🌦️ Got some rain and now the sun is coming out! Both are welcome

🌱 My lil wildflowers are coming along! Looking forward to seeing this project grow

🎶 Megan Thee Stallion! 

🎧 Noise cancelling headphones make city living sooooooo much better!

💙 I haven't wanted to worry my partner with WD symptoms increasing after generic change, but last night realized I should let them know what's going in inside my head. They were so supportive and sweet, glad I let them know what was happening so we're on the same page and also cause they're the best.

🌈 Biological family is adding to my stress, which is making me extra appreciative of my chosen family! Been chatting a lot more with my close friends and it's been helpful.

💜 I've been working on being more kind and encouraging to myself, and it's helping me get through struggles to gently remind myself, "Keep at it, you can do it, you'll figure this out. Every little bit helps, just keep trying."

✅ I might not be at full strength, but I'm still getting things done! Pushing through 😤

[littlebird]

I was thinking about how it's hard to remember pain and discomfort, and things aren't so bad in our memory as they were when it was happening. While it might feel like I'm suffering quite a bit right now, if I think back on other tough times in the med journey it's probably comparable or even better than it was then. Maybe. Kinda wish I'd been taking regular numerical surveys throughout this process and could just look at the data.