Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

On 1/6/2022 at 1:37 PM, julesb said:

 

are there any recovery stories on emotional numbness?

 

I have been scouring the internet for them. I don’t have the links but here is what I got in my notes.

 

It can happen in one year but 2-3 years seems average 

i have also seen 5ish

Latest recovery I have found so  far is 8 years. So good news for people who have had Anhedonia long term.

 

most people say it comes back slowly. Very slowly. Until one day you notice something. 
 

I’ll see if I can post some stories here later.

[LHRG]

I'd like to share something here. It is to be taken with a grain a salt, and it generally focus on PSSD, but anhedonia is included among the symptoms.

 

For a few months, the PSSD subreddit is having a shared glimmer of hope, based of the gut microbiota theory of SSRI withdrawal. A user claimed to have fully recovered from a whole bunch of symptoms by being diagnosed and treating his SIBO. Following his lead, a lot of reddit users were tested positive for SIBO or SIFO as well. This caused a general excess of enthusiasm for the theory, which is why I am bit suspicious about it. Yesterday, the same user posted a general theory regarding the causes of PSSD. It could be of some interest to anyone looking to "fix" their gut during WD.

[Nic123]

2 hours ago, LHRG said:

I'd like to share something here. It is to be taken with a grain a salt, and it generally focus on PSSD, but anhedonia is included among the symptoms.

 

For a few months, the PSSD subreddit is having a shared glimmer of hope, based of the gut microbiota theory of SSRI withdrawal. A user claimed to have fully recovered from a whole bunch of symptoms by being diagnosed and treating his SIBO. Following his lead, a lot of reddit users were tested positive for SIBO or SIFO as well. This caused a general excess of enthusiasm for the theory, which is why I am bit suspicious about it. Yesterday, the same user posted a general theory regarding the causes of PSSD. It could be of some interest to anyone looking to "fix" their gut during WD.

it’s very interesting I must get my gut tested but I just don’t know if it’s as simple as this. It really does make a lot of sense though and 95% of our serotonin is in the gut and if that’s not working properly every other neurotransmitter wouldn’t be functioning properly as they all regulate eachother. And I truly believe all this Anhedonia, depression, apathy, brain fog, pssd is the result of extremely dysfunctional neurotransmitter levels caused by and from the cessation of ssri’s.

 

I mean isn’t it possible anhedonia is caused by almost zero functioning seratonin/dopamine?

[Nic123]

Wow I’m seriously starting to wonder if I’ve had covid in the past, as you guys were saying these people with long haul have identical symptoms I got shivers reading it as it sounded so familiar, The blank mind, trouble thinking, remembering, anhedonia loss of sex drive. it all makes a lot of sense either that or covid long haul has the same mechanisms as what the escitalpram did. But I still remember I had emotional blunting while taking the ssri so I doubt it’s from covid. Just very very similar symptoms. 
 

but it’s got me absolutely terrified if I caught covid how much worst would we be? I guess not everyone gets long haul covid though

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

12 hours ago, Nic123 said:

Wow I’m seriously starting to wonder if I’ve had covid in the past, as you guys were saying these people with long haul have identical symptoms I got shivers reading it as it sounded so familiar, The blank mind, trouble thinking, remembering, anhedonia loss of sex drive. it all makes a lot of sense either that or covid long haul has the same mechanisms as what the escitalpram did. But I still remember I had emotional blunting while taking the ssri so I doubt it’s from covid. Just very very similar symptoms. 
 

but it’s got me absolutely terrified if I caught covid how much worst would we be? I guess not everyone gets long haul covid though

It does seem that covid and withdrawal both affect the CNS. My psych doc said, yeah well maybe you by some weird rare chance have withdrawal (she's too nice to say she doesn't believe me) but you look like you have long haul covid symptoms. I'm thinking yeah, that would make sense, if it wasn't triggered by zoloft and every other drug makes it worse. If it was long covid at least doctors would take it seriously. 

 

But yes the symptoms are scary similar if not exact. I have also read that both WD and covid have impacts on the immune system.

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

15 hours ago, LHRG said:

I'd like to share something here. It is to be taken with a grain a salt, and it generally focus on PSSD, but anhedonia is included among the symptoms.

 

For a few months, the PSSD subreddit is having a shared glimmer of hope, based of the gut microbiota theory of SSRI withdrawal. A user claimed to have fully recovered from a whole bunch of symptoms by being diagnosed and treating his SIBO. Following his lead, a lot of reddit users were tested positive for SIBO or SIFO as well. This caused a general excess of enthusiasm for the theory, which is why I am bit suspicious about it. Yesterday, the same user posted a general theory regarding the causes of PSSD. It could be of some interest to anyone looking to "fix" their gut during WD.

SIBO is notoriously hard to treat. But that aside I am skeptical as I know that community has had fixes that have been hyped up before. But digestive treatments have been shown to help sometimes temporarily in that community. For instance I heard fecal implants helping for a short term. So I wouldn't rule it out. But what of the users that don't have SIBO from AD use? Is it possible everyone has some kind of digestive issue here whether they show symptoms or not? Either way a healthy gut is not going to hurt.

 

Note: just read the link. I have heard of BC 007 drug from another ssri sufferer. They believe this drug my be of help to people in WD. I am skeptical as the cause of our issues may be different from covid. Also how good would it be to have a drug that fixed the problem caused by other drug. But the relation to gut issues is something. I hope this is explored more.

 

It would be amazing if research into long covid would lead to better understanding of WD. 

I may see if I can find any patterns of Gut health and WD. 

 

 

[LHRG]

Yes, I am not convinced either : it can be easy to get hyped up by some simple explanation for all our suffering.

There's a few good points though. I did start having gut issues as soon as I stopped my AD. I am going to get tested for everything gut related : it could be something or it could be nothing, but there's only one way to know.

19 hours ago, Nic123 said:

 

I mean isn’t it possible anhedonia is caused by almost zero functioning seratonin/dopamine?

It most certainly is : a desensitization of some sort is very probably the culprit. But we tend to be neuro-centric and assume that this happens in the CNS : it could be a gut mobility issue.

[Nic123]

Well 95% of the bodies serotonin is made in the gut and who knows what ssri’s do to it. If so that would have a cascade effect on dopamine and all the other neurotransmitters as I think 50% of dopamine is produced in the gut to. The thing I can’t wrap my head around is why it can possibly take YEARS for things to return to normal ? It doesn’t make sense at all, so that’s why the brain damage theory kind of makes sense to me. 

[Kat66]

On 12/30/2021 at 6:33 PM, Overwhelmedlady said:

It’s just my dogs who keep me alive.

If your dogs are keeping you alive when all else seems beyond hope, I think that’s something positive to hold onto. Your dogs’ love is your hope. 

[kostakonkordia]

On 1/8/2022 at 8:22 PM, LHRG said:

I'd like to share something here. It is to be taken with a grain a salt, and it generally focus on PSSD, but anhedonia is included among the symptoms.

 

For a few months, the PSSD subreddit is having a shared glimmer of hope, based of the gut microbiota theory of SSRI withdrawal. A user claimed to have fully recovered from a whole bunch of symptoms by being diagnosed and treating his SIBO. Following his lead, a lot of reddit users were tested positive for SIBO or SIFO as well. This caused a general excess of enthusiasm for the theory, which is why I am bit suspicious about it. Yesterday, the same user posted a general theory regarding the causes of PSSD. It could be of some interest to anyone looking to "fix" their gut during WD.

Very interesting...

[kostakonkordia]

3 hours ago, Nic123 said:

Well 95% of the bodies serotonin is made in the gut and who knows what ssri’s do to it. If so that would have a cascade effect on dopamine and all the other neurotransmitters as I think 50% of dopamine is produced in the gut to. The thing I can’t wrap my head around is why it can possibly take YEARS for things to return to normal ? It doesn’t make sense at all, so that’s why the brain damage theory kind of makes sense to me. 

It kind of makes sense to me, the gut probably needs years to fix depending on you're constitution. 

I've read an article where they found a connection between schizophrenia and gutproblems. Although I have to say that almost all of these people took drugs. 

I'm not sure about that stuff he wrote on reddit but it seems very very convincing and promising. I don't know about previous hyped theories but this seems to be something different, very well explained and it seems like this man has spend alot of time researching this theory It probalby won't solve all of our problems but it might help people who suffer long term. It's also good that there might be a hint why withdrawal is happening, and explanations are always good because beeing in the dark is the worst. 

I really hope he is onto something, this would be incredible news for everyone in the withdrawal community.

Greetings 

Kosta

Edited January 10, 2022 by kostakonkordia

[Jnthnslo]

Is anyone else's anhedonia accompanied by a strange physical feeling in their head? I wouldn't exactly call it a headache, more like a feeling that something is chemically missing? Maybe this is what head pressure is but the constant physical feeling of chemical absence is making me concerned that I have a serve case of anhedonia that will be permanent. It is not just a emotional emptiness but accompanied by a physical one. Is this a sign of permanent chemical damage or do you think even this can get better?

[Nic123]

46 minutes ago, Jnthnslo said:

Is anyone else's anhedonia accompanied by a strange physical feeling in their head? I wouldn't exactly call it a headache, more like a feeling that something is chemically missing? Maybe this is what head pressure is but the constant physical feeling of chemical absence is making me concerned that I have a serve case of anhedonia that will be permanent. It is not just a emotional emptiness but accompanied by a physical one. Is this a sign of permanent chemical damage or do you think even this can get better?

Not sure exactly what you mean but I’ve had the strangest empty feeling in my brain for about 10 months now is that what you mean? It literally feels like the neurons aren’t firing whatsoever or absolutely no brain chemicals 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

5 hours ago, Jnthnslo said:

Is anyone else's anhedonia accompanied by a strange physical feeling in their head? I wouldn't exactly call it a headache, more like a feeling that something is chemically missing? Maybe this is what head pressure is but the constant physical feeling of chemical absence is making me concerned that I have a serve case of anhedonia that will be permanent. It is not just a emotional emptiness but accompanied by a physical one. Is this a sign of permanent chemical damage or do you think even this can get better?

I got head pressure, frontal lobe. It's more noticeable when my anhedonia is about to get worse.  
I feel a numbness in my forehead, I think ...? 

 

unfortunately we don't have enough stats on how different people experience anhedonia. However empty head/brain is a very common complaint. Below is a statement of how it felt from someone who has shown some recovery from Anhedonia
 

Quote

• Quote

Anhedonia for me, was odd. I woke up one day, and didn't feel anything. No anxiety, no fear. No anger. Nothing. It was like my brain disconnected from the frontal lobe. I no longer "felt" anything, even when a song i heard hundreds of times before came on the radio, i couldn't feel that same 'emotional' feeling it created before

I also felt disconnected from self. Like "i" died. And there was just this wierd, empty void.

You know you have Anhedonia, when your libido dies. And by dies, i mean, nothing turns you on anymore. As if someone flipped a switch

I went almost 5 years not feeling anything. It was a terribly dark time in my life.

Thankfully, during these past 6 months, it has almost completely lifted. I once again feel anxious, fear, anger, love. I once again have libido, although it's just a fraction of what it was before

I never "felt" depressed. I simply felt void. Of everything that made me "me". There was a creepy silence every day i woke up. No spark to get me moving, no fear to get a job. Simply nothingness

Head pressure in the frontal lobe has been associated with anhedonia, brain fog and cognitive function.

[Jnthnslo]

@ThatOneGirlStitchthank you for posting that prior description. That too seems to be what I've been experiencing. Just the inability to feel things good or bad. Like you, I can almost feel it intensify by noticing the head pressure.

 

I try to tell myself that it may not be a complete lack of feeling. Initially it almost was not I've started to have some anxiety return. Nothing at all like it was before but maybe that's a sign that everything else can return too. This emotional aspect is absolutely the hardest part of the condition for me. I just pray that it at least gets somewhat better for all of us.

[Jnthnslo]

I guess another question I have for those dealing with this extreme anhedonia is the depersonalization/derealization. A lot of the time, reality just doesn't feel real. Almost like I'm in a zombie state where I feel so disconnected. For example, my feeling of time seems so off. Like knowing the day of the week or how much time has passed has been very hard. Is this what others here are experiencing as well with anhedonia or is depersonalization a separate issue that may go away independently?

[JesusSavemefromWD]

5 minutes ago, Jnthnslo said:

I guess another question I have for those dealing with this extreme anhedonia is the depersonalization/derealization. A lot of the time, reality just doesn't feel real. Almost like I'm in a zombie state where I feel so disconnected. For example, my feeling of time seems so off. Like knowing the day of the week or how much time has passed has been very hard. Is this what others here are experiencing as well with anhedonia or is depersonalization a separate issue that may go away independently?

To my experience they are different symptoms…. I suffer from severe Dpdr that never goes away but my anhedonia is less severe and does lift later in the day. 

[BelaLugosi]

omg @ThatOneGirlStitch the second quote is from a private forum, would you be able to say for how long this person took medication?

[Nic123]

@ThatOneGirlStitch word for word what I’ve been experiencing daily. It’s simply a nothingness. Like looking at a wall and a mirror of yourself evokes the same reaction lol. It’s just so depressing reading people having it for 5+ years, I just know I wouldn’t make it that long but I guess everyone’s different 
 

but it was very odd I genuinely felt like I was getting much better around the 6 month mark but since then I have gone downhill in ways, I’m absolutely noticing windows and waves though it seems every few weeks I go through the most intense anhedonia/depression then it kind of lifts a bit then repeats but each time I think I feel better in the windows. I’d hardly call them windows just not as excruciating as the waves. I did go downhill massively after getting a bad vaccine reaction which put me in hospital for heart inflammation. But that’s better now. I think it was the depression of it all that made me go backwards. Being unemployed certainly doesn’t help at all either, your life feels utterly pointless

 

@Jnthnslosame thing here with the dpdr, it came on around the 6 month mark to, but I see it as a reaction to the severe brain numbness, how can we feel connected to anything if we feel so numb? I really thing it’s natural to get dpdr in this state 

[julesb]

@Jnthnslo something that i read about depersonalization and depersonalization is that anhedonia is a big part of it.

I really do feel we all will get better we have to have patience and faith. Also with other being here for each other i think helps a lot.

[Nic123]

I wonder if there’s anyone out there that has done every test possible with there guts to see what the story is with it. I would be very curious if this all does stem from gut issues.

[julesb]

@Nic123 I did a gut test and GI mapping test and i apparently have sibo. I haven’t taken the antimicrobials i was prescribed by the naturopath i’m seeing yet. i’m a little scared to take anything anymore.

[Alenah]

@Nic123 for those people that you read who had it for 5 or more years…. How long did they take the drug?? I took Zoloft once and have very similar symptoms. That scares me! 

[Alenah]

@Jnthnslo I have pretty much the same symptoms after one dose of Zoloft 

[kostakonkordia]

1 hour ago, Nic123 said:

I wonder if there’s anyone out there that has done every test possible with there guts to see what the story is with it. I would be very curious if this all does stem from gut issues.

I think it contributes very strongly, but its still in the dark a bit.

[kostakonkordia]

1 hour ago, julesb said:

@Nic123 I did a gut test and GI mapping test and i apparently have sibo. I haven’t taken the antimicrobials i was prescribed by the naturopath i’m seeing yet. i’m a little scared to take anything anymore.

Hey that's sounds good. (with good I mean you now know where you can start) What did he prescribe you? Did he recommend you any diet? 

I've read into sibo and leaky gut a bit the last days and there is a ton of information and alot of stuff you can do about it. I would send it to you but it is in German ;/... 

I would do a little research on sibo other bacterial overgrowth and leaky gut if I was you. 

Pls keep us updated this topic is very very interesting.

 

I wish you all the best

Greetings

Kosta 

[julesb]

@kostakonkordia He prescribed me Candibactin At and Br 

[kostakonkordia]

@julesb

It's seems to have some side effects. But I would start at a small dose and see how you react to it. 

Did he recommend you any diet? 

Edited January 10, 2022 by kostakonkordia

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

8 hours ago, BelaLugosi said:

omg @ThatOneGirlStitch the second quote is from a private forum, would you be able to say for how long this person took medication?

I found the quote from google search. I have no Idea how long they were on drugs. But I believe they were on multiple drugs and some cold turkeys. It is more likely cold turkey has more of an affect than time spent on drugs, thats my personal opinion from what I've read.

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

2 hours ago, julesb said:

I did a gut test and GI mapping test and i apparently have sibo. I haven’t taken the antimicrobials i was prescribed by the naturopath i’m seeing yet. i’m a little scared to take anything anymore.

That makes sense. SIBO can be stubborn. A lot of people who take antibiotics for it also have it return.

 

I don't know if this is helpful but here is a post on what I found regarding SIBO.

 

I am also interested in information you may come across.

[Jnthnslo]

@Nic123 I can relate to you regarding the waves and windows. I have them as well where the windows aren't super great. There is no complete disappearance of symptoms but it is still a relief. During a wave the anhedonia gets so intense and makes me feel so hopeless. During a window I don't feel great but I feel good enough to keep pushing and try to live my life the best I can. Waves make me forget all that and I end up panicking thinking about how I will live the rest of my life this way. I also am investigating into the possibility of the gut theory. I haven't done a SIBO test or taken antibiotics but I have started taking probiotics. I am particularly interested in ones that have multiple strains and I am also working on changing my diet. 

 

@Alenah I too became this way after a very small number of doses. It wasn't one but I hadn't even been on the medicine for a week. For doses for me. It can feel very frustrating because we didn't even have much of a chance. We tried something once or a few times and now it feels like our whole lives are messed up. Most people that take hardcore drugs don't even get this messed up from so few doses. I think I fall into the Immediate Adverse Reaction category because it was so short but none of my symptoms happened while on the medicine or even initially while off of it. It was almost two weeks after stopping before I started to feel the anhedonia and the truly awful symptoms. They actually came on in a windows and wave pattern where I'd wake up with anhedonia and it went away but the more time past the more it stayed. To me that suggests that the medicine itself didn't cause the immediate brain damage and or instant toxicity. An immediate toxic effect would not have come on so gradually. This gives me some hope that whatever cause it can be reversed. 

 

The hardest part is the unknown. We see people struggling with this for years and wonder how we can continue. As uncomfortable as it is, if someone gave me a date and said you will absolutely be better by this date (1 year from now 2 years, even 5) I'd accept that timeline and just be patient. The lack of that guarantee is frightening. That being said, there have been too many people that have recovered eventually to rule out the possibility. Ever seen this happened to be, I've searched this site and others collecting stories of people that have recovered from the very symptoms we are dealing with. For some it's taken months, others years, even a decade but there are too many people who've improved to think it is impossible or our current conditions are permanent. I've read about people who slowly get better and others where they feel like they are getting worse and worse then wake up the next day like their former self. One person who waited for 5 years and made that turn around. I am particularly holding on to a recovery story where a few months before their recovery they were writing the same things as us asking if this was going to be permanent or if their brain was fried and a few months later wrote their recovery story. We will heal. If not completely to a point where we can enjoy life again. 

 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

28 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I did a gut test and GI mapping test and i apparently have sibo. I haven’t taken the antimicrobials i was prescribed by the naturopath i’m seeing yet. i’m a little scared to take anything anymore.

Also from what I read it is not uncommon for people to have reactions to antimicrobials. So your worries are founded. 

[Alenah]

@Jnthnslo You just me a lot of hope! Thank you! Unfortunately my adverse reaction was immediate…. Which makes me feel I had brain damage of some sort. Two days off the drug it felt like my brain was Dislocating inside my head. It actually started with a pounding heart, restlessness, severe/deep depersonalization I did not know existed. I know it was deep because I have experienced depersonalization and derealization before. After that I had crying spells and as time went on I had a Blank mind and I felt nothing. I hate laying in bed at night and I can’t even feel the comfort of my own bed. 8 months for me. I have seen improvements and I am thankful and I can only hope I will get better and better! If I told people around me what I was going through they would not believe me. From reading some of your posts it seems that you have had improvements as well as set backs. Other stories gives me so much more hope and to push through the day. Thanks again. 

[Jnthnslo]

@Alenah I didn't mean to alarm you about my response not happening immediately. I too experienced much of what you did upon stopping within two days like headaches and restlessness. I meant that the anhedonia and blankness was not immediate but came on slowly. 

 

For me also it is very very tough not having people you know understand. It is so hard to communicate how strange and scary all this feels to someone that hasn't experienced it. I accepted that my family can't understand, not because they don't want to but because it just isn't possible. I myself didn't know anyone could feel this way. I think the fact that you are improving, even if slightly means that more healing will come. I try not to compare myself to how I was in my life before but to the worst moments of this and feeling better since the worst, even if it is slight.

 

I know it can feel very hard to feel comfort and find peace. I'm struggling too but I am doing everything I can to relax as much as possible. I use other sensations outside of my emotions to feel something. 

 

I got a heating pad I use just to feel the warmth. Whenever I get the really bad pressure headaches I put a cold/frozen sleeping mask on my head. It doesn't really make the pain go away but it produces a strong sensation enough to distract from the headache and focus on the coolness. Warm baths, essential oils, meditations..all of these help me to feel a bit more comfortable. I truly think there is a psychological aspect of our healing in that keeping stress low aides in the physical repair. For example, today I went back to my office for the first time in weeks. I was anxious about doing it with all this brain fog and confusion but I had to. I got stressed and the anhedonia came back so strong that it felt like I was back to the beginning. I still feels pretty bad even though I did indeed survive the day. I'll be spending the rest of my night trying to calm my system and get out of panic mode. 

 

Overall, what kind of improvements have you seen? 

 

 

[Nic123]

Definitely right about how stress makes it worst. Even if you can’t feel the stress it’s still stressful in it’s own way. I also wonder how much of this is major depression because most of this could be overlapping for sure. I seem to be able to sink myself lower when I start losing hope and that has to be depression kicking in.

 

can anyone else relate to just feeling extremely lonely? It’s not so much I feel the loneliness although I think I do. It’s more like this empty lonely feeling where you are completed disconnected from everything and everyone. A hike in nature would almost be euphoric once now it just feels so isolating. It’s a real shame as I used to do a lot alone and enjoy my own company. 

[fkphamah0es]

Hey all, I don't want to say this but it's just the truth, I took remeron 9 years ago for 6 months, 15 mg, and I still got all the symtoms.

 

It's like I was removed from that planet.

 

When I first started remeron I feel emotions I never felt before, and I was highly motivated,  it then made me very manic with DP then one day while still taking remeron, I noticed how numb and blank I got, apathic but still was energetic.

 

I stopped taking remeron in 1 week, after that few days later I woke up and noticed that something was missing, the core of my psyche, personality, my soul, everything, I looked at my old pictures and had zero emotional connection with them.

 

After that it was a long process till like I became a disabled existance. I wake up everyday it does't feel like I had some sleep, its same if i sleep i walk i have sex i get money its pure monotonic suffereing, I dont feel nothing I dont feel inside my body i dont feel orgasm, the also slowly I begun getting that motoric problems, I dont feel complete like before anf my spontanity is gone.

 

The worst symptom is not only the blank mind, I lost my inner monologue, my inner spiritual voice I had my whole life before, there is only silence and deadness 24/7 since I stopped.

 

This  BS not only cased massive chemical imbalance with serotonin anf dopamin, but clearly has damaged the frontal lobe, I got all symptoms of a frontal lobe damage / lobotomy.

 

There are: apathy, cogitive problems, no feelings and emotions and more, my smell and taste is also not only massively reduced, there is zero emotion with it.

 

No matter what I do there is ZERO reward feeling (no dopamine), I see friends no serotonin firing, both systems are disabled, serotonin and dopamin and others too I guees like endorphine as it is connected with dopamin. I got no drive to do anything its just monotonic.

 

I also got that visual change, like my eyes litarally doenst observe reality, I also lost all affects, where u get angry or happy.

 

I got eyes open and there is nothing inside of me to observe it on any level, I close my eyes there is only dark and silence, this is unchanged all the years.

 

I won 82000€ and wasnt able to feel anything about it, my grandpa and grandma died I cried but felt zero, I walk the street and its like im eyes only.

 

I dont know what to say to someone like I knew all my life before and I dont know most of time what todo

 

I take l-tyrosine to hopefully activate the dopamin system again one day. I forgot how it is to feel something, this is serotonin, but also if dopamine doesnt work - disabled.

 

I'm alone and dont have contact with friends, dont want to see my parents, there was 2 possible woman for the future, but I did not feel love. I dont want to meet new people, I only get paranoid around them as my mind is blank and I cant feel them around me.

 

I never seen a heroin addict with such damage and I seen alot of them in my life.

 

So what I,m sure this **** did, overstimulated neurons in the frontal lobe till they died + disabled the serotonin and dopamin system, the result is: brain damage, no1 can know how long it can take to heal, its diffent for everyone, I shared my story.

 

I remember crying like crazy about that I  how I lost my soul, about how I cant love anymore, it also traumatized me.

 

Put togheter the trauma, stress, depression it caused also, it for sure contribute that the DP last so for so long..

 

Please don't give up, as you see I suffer too, for so long, but there is STILL SOMETHING that keeps me away from ending it all! Try to belive in god, hope is always good, if nothing else is left, not even hope in yourself, try and belive in god, but please dont give up. I send best wishes, hugs, kisses and hope to all of you.

 

Sorry for my english, I'm from germany.