Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia

[gardenlady]

There is so much written here about gut problems which are certainly real for many people.  However, not everyone has gut problems.  I have longstanding anhedonia, akathisia, dread, doom, terror, insomnia, personality disintegration and a constellation of symptoms resembling chemical lobotomy.  Despite all of these horrors, my gut is fine and always has been.  Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I'm thankful that at least my digestive system functions normally.

[Alenah]

@gardenlady have you seen any improvements in your recovery?

[kostakonkordia]

1 hour ago, gardenlady said:

There is so much written here about gut problems which are certainly real for many people.  However, not everyone has gut problems.  I have longstanding anhedonia, akathisia, dread, doom, terror, insomnia, personality disintegration and a constellation of symptoms resembling chemical lobotomy.  Despite all of these horrors, my gut is fine and always has been.  Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I'm thankful that at least my digestive system functions normally.

@gardenlady

Hello gardenlady, thanks for you're reply, I really appreciate it. 

Often times people with dysbiosis don't have symptoms which are typical for gut related problems. This is also called silent sibo. I know it's hard to wrap you're head around this theory especially when you have been told all the time that you have braindamage. Which is surely partly true. But one cannot seperate the gut from the brain/CNS they are essentially intertwined. As I already have written here. Serotonin rezeptors only need a few months to maximum 14 months to regenerate. 

Also bacteria in the gut are responsible for producing serotonin. 

I could go on like that to try to convince you with the things I have read. But essentially it's you're choice if you will try it or not. 

A few hours ago I have read some member on Reddit who claimed to have treated his severe anhedonia with probiotics within 3 days... I don't know why he should lie about that(pssd sufferers aren't really known for stuff like that rather they are known for beeing very hopeless and destructive). 

This is as I said no magical cure. 

But dysbiosis likely prevents you're CNS from healing causing inflammation and so on. 

This is all not well established yet but it seems promising, at least for some people.

Btw congratulations to you're successful cymbalda taper.

Greetings 

Kosta

 

 

[kostakonkordia]

5 hours ago, BrokenWings said:

@kostakonkordia Thank you for the information and guidance. No, I stopped all drugs at the start of my journey nearly 48 months ago.

Okok very good, no problem. Just text me if you need something :))!

[kostakonkordia]

2 hours ago, Alenah said:

@kostakonkordia Thank you. Much appreciated. 

No Problem Alenah, I hope you try it out. Please inform me if you decide to test yourself(and have the results) and start the treatment. I want to find out if dysbiosis may also have something to do with general withdrawal.

Just contact me if you need something. 

Good luck to you. 

Kosta 

[gardenlady]

3 hours ago, Alenah said:

@gardenlady have you seen any improvements in your recovery?

Sadly, no.

[gardenlady]

1 hour ago, kostakonkordia said:

Serotonin rezeptors only need a few months to maximum 14 months to regenerate. 

Also bacteria in the gut are responsible for producing serotonin. 

 

Thanks, Kosta.  I really hope that many people with gut problems are helped by your suggestion as there is definitely a link between brain and gut.  However, personally,  I don't buy into the serotonin theory as it is nothing but that...a hyped up theory with no evidence.  The chemical imbalance story has long been debunked.  The vast complexity of the brain and the devastating effect of these neurotoxic drugs on it are way beyond what anyone can even begin to comprehend.  That's just my opinion and one that I realize that many do not share.  But, thank you for sharing what may benefit some. 

[kostakonkordia]

1 hour ago, gardenlady said:

Thanks, Kosta.  I really hope that many people with gut problems are helped by your suggestion as there is definitely a link between brain and gut.  However, personally,  I don't buy into the serotonin theory as it is nothing but that...a hyped up theory with no evidence.  The chemical imbalance story has long been debunked.  The vast complexity of the brain and the devastating effect of these neurotoxic drugs on it are way beyond what anyone can even begin to comprehend.  That's just my opinion and one that I realize that many do not share.  But, thank you for sharing what may benefit some. 

@gardenlady

This has nothing to do with the psychiatric chemical imbalance theory. This is just bullsh*t. Psych drugs most likely create a chemical imbalance... It is not a serotonin theory, there is not enough data to fully understand the neurotransmitter bacteria connection. Although they are involved in the synthesis. 

It is rather the assumption that this serotonin metabolizing microbes get pushed away by bad ones. And the bad ones are producing toxins, leaky gut etc. This things are proven... 

 

Yes the connection between ssri withdrawal/pssd and dysbiosis hasn't been researched by officials yes(as far as I know). 

I will keep you updated.

 

I wish that you will see improvements in the future. 

Greetings 

Kosta 

[Avicii]

7 hours ago, kostakonkordia said:

@gardenlady

This has nothing to do with the psychiatric chemical imbalance theory. This is just bullsh*t. Psych drugs most likely create a chemical imbalance... It is not a serotonin theory, there is not enough data to fully understand the neurotransmitter bacteria connection. Although they are involved in the synthesis. 

It is rather the assumption that this serotonin metabolizing microbes get pushed away by bad ones. And the bad ones are producing toxins, leaky gut etc. This things are proven... 

 

Yes the connection between ssri withdrawal/pssd and dysbiosis hasn't been researched by officials yes(as far as I know). 

I will keep you updated.

 

I wish that you will see improvements in the future. 

Greetings 

Kosta 

I think this is an interesting theory. I only have two concerns;

 

1. why did we get problems post SSRI and not on the pills? Did WD cause leaky gut? 

2. Why are some of us getting better in some areas if there is a leaky gut not healing?

[BrokenWings]

6 hours ago, Avicii said:

1. why did we get problems post SSRI and not on the pills? Did WD cause leaky gut? 

2. Why are some of us getting better in some areas if there is a leaky gut not healing?

 

@Avicii These are great questions.

 

  When I started taking Zoloft I developed chronic diarrhea which never went away until after I stopped taking the drug. Diarrhea is a known side effect of this particular drug and likely common among all antidepressants. Towards the end of my rapid taper I had developed severe gastrointestinal problems that took weeks to resolve.

 

  I saw a Naturopath who determined I had leaky gut and he indicated that consuming Zoloft and alcohol were major contributors to developing a leaky gut. I am a firm believer that these drugs wreck havoc on the health of of our gut and cause all sorts of imbalances with our hormones and neurotransmitters.

 

[kostakonkordia]

8 hours ago, Avicii said:

I think this is an interesting theory. I only have two concerns;

 

1. why did we get problems post SSRI and not on the pills? Did WD cause leaky gut? 

2. Why are some of us getting better in some areas if there is a leaky gut not healing?

To you're first question:

Dysbiosis on and off the pills is somehow different. Also the discontinuation of ssris causes serotonin changes that slow down  the gut movement so bacteria can overgrow and the microbiom changes. 

I think not really, leaky gut is causes by a disbalace of the microbiom. 

 

To be more exact: Through a disturbance some bacteria trive more than others. There are bacteria which produces something called butyrate, this chemical protects you're gut cells and is the primary source of energy. If there is low butyrate in the stomach duo to the dying off of certain bacteria, the gut changes his energy source and pushes out the oxigen in the gut which reinforces bacteria that don't procduce butyrate. And so on. A vicious cycle. This leads to a inflammation of the epithelcells and a weakening in the barrier function(ergo leaky gut). 

I think that duo to this die ofof neurotransmitter metabolising bacteria there results a more or less chronic neurotransmitter imbalance ergo protracted withdrawal. Leaky gut may also play into this producing inflammations in youre body. Depending where youre immunsystem attacks there you get you're inflammation symptoms. 

This topic is so extremely complicated to me it's so frustrating. Also I'm not a native englisch speaker so this is rather difficult to understand with all these specific words. It's best we never disturb our stomach again just let it do its work. 

 

To you're second question:

I don't have a definitive answer for that I'm sorry... But maybe the microbiom starts to get into a homeostasis so people heal. Some people don't fully heal because there is still some gut problem they need to fix. Thats very similar to antibiotic treatment. 

 

I hope I could answer at least some of you're questions. 

Feel free to ask me more but I'm not an expert either... 

Greetings :)) 

Kosta 

Edited January 14, 2022 by kostakonkordia

[kostakonkordia]

2 hours ago, BrokenWings said:

 

@Avicii These are great questions.

 

  When I started taking Zoloft I developed chronic diarrhea which never went away until after I stopped taking the drug. Diarrhea is a known side effect of this particular drug and likely common among all antidepressants. Towards the end of my rapid taper I had developed severe gastrointestinal problems that took weeks to resolve.

 

  I saw a Naturopath who determined I had leaky gut and he indicated that consuming Zoloft and alcohol were major contributors to developing a leaky gut. I am a firm believer that these drugs wreck havoc on the health of of our gut and cause all sorts of imbalances with our hormones and neurotransmitters.

 

Yes indeed very interesting question. 

And thank you for you're story.

Yes sadly they do beat the **** out of our poor symbiotic bacterias. 

But the good news this bs is treatable. It may take time but there are things that can be done.

Someone even treated his pssd with self acupuncture. 

You have to take into account you basically took antibiotics for 18 years... 

I don't know what you're symptoms are but if I recall correctly it was anhedonia? 

Something very interesting is that people on pssdforum have drawn a connection between anhedonia and small fiber disfunction. These are basically essential for body feeling etc. This small fibre neuropathy is associated with autoimmunity. And leaky gut and dysbiosis produce autoimmunal response so there closes the cycle again. 

 

The sad thing is the "real scientists" are currently focusing on some bs "epigenetic changes" theory. That's totally going in the wrong direction probably in the end they want to sell us some more drugs... 

 

If you are further interested in the microbiom topic please check out the website of this phenomenal biom researcher. 

https://www.lucymailing.com/. 

She also gives advice on how and which test to take and how to treat. You can also consult her if you want. 

She is very knowledgeable. 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by kostakonkordia

[fkphamah0es]

Anhedonia and apathy is more a symptom from the damage it did, destroyed the personality, emotions and feelings someone had before, then how you can not be apatic and ahedonic after realasing that what you loved you simple no longer do.

 

How I can recover from DP while I now not even know how I was before anymore? I try to look back or forward but it doesnt work, its like it was ******* removed.

 

The apathy and anhedonia is persistant because you simply dont have the emotions and feelings you had before, you try and try just to see again that it doesnt work so you cant move out of that state.

 

In the old times sometimes I was drinking few beers and I FELT better, I was able to relax after shower in my bed, I tried to drink alcohol now and I no longer got euphoric effect and nothing else, only pure numbness in my head like I got more retarded only from it, its even wrong to say "i feel retarded now", or "dead inside" because the feeling is not there.

 

For example if I would wake up tomorrow and having a good feeling after shower, it would motivate me doing something, I would work, having emotions while working and at the end of the day I would go sleep with some kind of reward feeling that I did something meaninful, as there would be something inside of me to observe it somehow. I simply dont feel different after shower now.

 

I don't remember anymore when I had my ups and downs, where you did something wrong and felt down, felt bad, cried, then learned from it, then you fixed everything and felt good, happy, motivated and so on.

 

I want to feel human again and I'm ready to rebuild myself, but in such state there is no ground to build on.

 

And sorry, I dont want to destroy someones hope with my comments or something else, I want to stay realistic about all that..

[kostakonkordia]

52 minutes ago, fkphamah0es said:

Anhedonia and apathy is more a symptom from the damage it did, destroyed the personality, emotions and feelings someone had before, then how you can not be apatic and ahedonic after realasing that what you loved you simple no longer do.

 

How I can recover from DP while I now not even know how I was before anymore? I try to look back or forward but it doesnt work, its like it was ******* removed.

 

The apathy and anhedonia is persistant because you simply dont have the emotions and feelings you had before, you try and try just to see again that it doesnt work so you cant move out of that state.

 

In the old times sometimes I was drinking few beers and I FELT better, I was able to relax after shower in my bed, I tried to drink alcohol now and I no longer got euphoric effect and nothing else, only pure numbness in my head like I got more retarded only from it, its even wrong to say "i feel retarded now", or "dead inside" because the feeling is not there.

 

For example if I would wake up tomorrow and having a good feeling after shower, it would motivate me doing something, I would work, having emotions while working and at the end of the day I would go sleep with some kind of reward feeling that I did something meaninful, as there would be something inside of me to observe it somehow. I simply dont feel different after shower now.

 

I want to feel human again and I'm ready to rebuild myself, but in such state there is no ground to build on.

 

And sorry, I dont want to destroy someones hope with my comments or something else, I want to stay realistic about all that..

Anhedonia is clearly a withdrawal symptom. 

Don't worry you seem to be very realistic. 

Liebe Grüße

Kosta

[fkphamah0es]

12 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

Anhedonia is clearly a withdrawal symptom. 

Don't worry you seem to be very realistic. 

Liebe Grüße

Kosta

 

Alright, but why?

 

Don't you think it has something todo with the emotions and feelings?

 

You take this poison it overstimulates your neurons with serotonin, makes you happy, motivated then you stop and are just like a shell of yoursellf.

 

Doesn't personality change, or "feeling" like having no personality after taking the poison, contribute to having anhedonia?

 

This is realistic no?

[kostakonkordia]

1 minute ago, fkphamah0es said:

 

Alright, but why?

 

Don't you think it has something todo with the emotions and feelings?

 

You take this poison it overstimaltes your neurons with serotonin makes you happy, motivated, you stop and are just shell of yourself.

 

This is realistic no?

Yes of course it has something to do with emotions and feeling. You feel anhedonia because you lack emotions I think. 

 

Look i have a bit different opinion about this than almost all people on here. 

This condition is a little bit more complex than this. People still belive the overstimulation theory which could be true but I think it is only partly true. 

Considering that serotonin rezeptors upregulate in a few months to maximum 14 months this theory makes no sense. I can explain it to you if you want. But I'm getting a bit tired because noone is really interested in this... 

I wrote you a private message by the way. 

Greetings

Kosta 

[fkphamah0es]

14 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

Yes of course it has something to do with emotions and feeling. You feel anhedonia because you lack emotions I think. 

 

Look i have a bit different opinion about this than almost all people on here. 

This condition is a little bit more complex than this. People still belive the overstimulation theory which could be true but I think it is only partly true. 

Considering that serotonin rezeptors upregulate in a few months to maximum 14 months this theory makes no sense. I can explain it to you if you want. But I'm getting a bit tired because noone is really interested in this... 

I wrote you a private message by the way. 

Greetings

Kosta 

 

Where I can find about the 14 months theory?

 

Here is a example of ecstasy, but there is not big difference in ecstasy and ssris, just they dont work sudden like ecstasy but need 2 weeks till enough serotonin is between synapses all time.. the neurons are automatically overstimulated as the reuptake is blocked, remeron works different mainly by blocking 5ht2 5ht3 I dont remember exactly, stimulate only 5ht1 receptor with more serotonin because other 2 are blocked.

[kostakonkordia]

6 minutes ago, fkphamah0es said:

 

Where I can find about the 14 months theory?

 

Here is a example of ecstasy, but there is not big difference in ecstasy and ssris, just they dont work sudden like ecstasy but need 2 weeks till enough serotonin is between synapses all time..

Interesting... Where are these images from? I don't know about extasy at all... But look at you're privat messages(private Nachrichten).

 

[fkphamah0es]

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/mdma-ecstasy-abuse/what-are-mdmas-effects-on-brain

 

The effects are basically the same, feeling intense emotions, motivated and so on, in withdrawal exact the opposite, thats where the anhedonia and apathy comes in and all this is from the damage it did and not from some theory, thats why so many people try to just survive daily, like me for years.

 

People who take aderal or amphetamines, have also anhedonia and apathy when stopping, because you can't enjoy the things you could while taking it.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

11 minutes ago, fkphamah0es said:

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/mdma-ecstasy-abuse/what-are-mdmas-effects-on-brain

 

The effects are basically the same, feeling intense emotions, motivated and so on, in withdrawal exact the opposite, thats where the anhedonia and apathy comes in and all this is from the damage it did and not from some theory, thats why so many people try to just survive daily, like me for years.

 

People who take aderal or amphetamines, have also anhedonia and apathy when stopping, because you can't enjoy the things you could while taking it.

Just to point out this is a monkey brain, even though evolutionary close to humans, we can’t really tell if smg like this happens in human brain after ssri use

[Nic123]

@fkphamah0es

I experience pretty much identically to you but I'm severely blunted in almost every way but i obviously can feel on some level even if i cant notice it otherwise id stay in bed 24/7. But i do feel i experience zero reward in any way but obviously that ties in with emotions. for me it seems I've been in a very slow decline that i cant work out why but the gut microbiome theory would kind of make sense, if the SSRI's destroyed my guts it seems plausible that it would slowly get worst over time i guess. 

 

kostakonkordia Do you think the gut could be responsible on why i seem to be unable to feel "brain/bodily sensations/feelings" What i mean is my brain/body seems to be in a flat line where i literally feel no different all the time. i used to remember having different sensations and feelings that would naturally arouse and change all the time now its just same flat feeling 24/7. 

 

Whats super strange is on the ssri i felt absolutely amazing and euphoric even though i did feel extremely spaced out and "numb" the dpdr feeling went away after a couple weeks on it and i thought lexapro was a miracle for me as i completely levelled me out and i genuinely felt happy for the first time in a long time, i still remember lying in bed one night noticing my "mind chatter" was gone and i was very happy about it as i had always felt i had a noisy head with racing anxious thoughts, sadly the complex thoughts and patterns never returned which is very strange even though i have thoughts obviously its different. I got off it though as i felt like things wernt hitting the same and i just wasnt feeling the "dopamine" for anything i did, i became very apathetic and just robotic even if i did feel great most of the time on it.

 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

There is nothing more to do than wait, is there? Acceptance is so hard. 

[Jnthnslo]

51 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

There is nothing more to do than wait, is there? Acceptance is so hard. 

Acceptance is so hard. It is very difficult not to focus on how permanent it feels. It's hard to pull your mind away from hearing about people that have suffered for more than a decade and thinking about how you could handle that. Overall, because it is always present it is just very difficult to not obsesse over it constantly. For me, my worst weeks are those where I spend hours each day reading the forums and searching for answers. Looking for reassurance that I'm not going to end up like this forever. I've found people on both sides of it. Those that have been healed and those still suffering. Those that did get better primarily say it's just time. I don't know what other answer I'm looking for, why I obsessively look for more answers. Nothing is going to change about this by obsessing. We are all in this situation and we can choose to accept it or not, either way is not going to change the fact but maybe with acceptance we can find a little less suffering.

[kostakonkordia]

On 1/15/2022 at 3:41 AM, fkphamah0es said:

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/mdma-ecstasy-abuse/what-are-mdmas-effects-on-brain

 

The effects are basically the same, feeling intense emotions, motivated and so on, in withdrawal exact the opposite, thats where the anhedonia and apathy comes in and all this is from the damage it did and not from some theory, thats why so many people try to just survive daily, like me for years.

@Jnthnslo

I felt that so hard... I catch myself reading these forums to much too ruminating about what will happen and so on. For me at least I think it is a desperate attempt to control the situation I'm in. Because it is so uncertain. 

[kostakonkordia]

6 hours ago, Nic123 said:

kostakonkordia Do you think the gut could be responsible on why i seem to be unable to feel "brain/bodily sensations/feelings" What i mean is my brain/body seems to be in a flat line where i literally feel no different all the time. i used to remember having different sensations and feelings that would naturally arouse and change all the time now its just same flat feeling 24/7. 

 

Hey, yea I think this could totally be the case. If you have leaky gut for example bacteria and small food particles get in your blood which spread around the body. Depending on where the immunsystem attacks there is a inflammation. Small fibers are responsible for you're body feeling so probably you're immunsystem is attacking them. Lucky for you and everyone they recover in around 14 weeks. 

So yea i think this could very much be the case. Bare in mind that this is "just" a theory right now. But connections are very obvious. At least for me... I will write a summary in my introduction about this theory when I find the time.

 

Yes I can understand that shutting of you're brain for a while feels good at first, but as time progresses the numbing get more and more frustrating. I expirience it that way. 

I hope you are doing ok. 

Take care. 

Kosta

Edited January 16, 2022 by kostakonkordia

[fkphamah0es]

I did some research and this is what I will try.

 

No fouride products and flouride water anymore.

You can read about calcification of the pineal gland and what happens then.

 

Daily:

 

(If you took only SSRIS, skip 5htp) it is know that if you got alot of serotonin in the brain, the dopamin receptors downregulate) so dopamine is important to fix first

 

L-tyrosine -> helps to produce dopamin and noradrenaline

5htp -> helps produce serotonin

B12 -> helps them both to work better

B6 -> same

CBD ->  balances out overactivity in same part of the brain

Small dose melotonin -> daily to help the brain regenerate normally

OPC -> natural strong atioxidant

1 hour walking

 

 

3 times in a week

Zinc

Magnesiun

Omega 3

Grean tee -> helps produce neurotransmitters

 

 

1 time in a week

Calcium

 

 

Reduce watching tv and staring in your phone alot, it is known that just moving and sport activates all parts of the brain, painting and writing will help fix concentration and cognitivity, listenting to music will activate dopamine too

 

Will read and add more..

 

[LHRG]

@fkphamah0es

That is a very interesting list. You might also want to try tryptophane, the essential amino acid from which serotonin is synthesised.

Please update us on how you react to every one of these supplements.

 

I am eager to learn about the mecanism of action of SSRI on our systems. I am convinced that we need to study what these molecules empirically did in order to assess what we can do to reclaim normal functioning. I tend to believe that post-SSRI anhedonia (which is included within PSSD) is a separate entity from the pure withdrawal process, and that time alone does not always heal it. There's something more to understand here. It is clear that nobody is going to help us but ourselves. Researching is my job, or was before this ordeal, so let's do something useful with it. If anybody wants to help and join, I'm building a bibliography and a research program to better understand post-SSRI syndrome (to call it that way).

[kostakonkordia]

13 minutes ago, LHRG said:

@fkphamah0es

That is a very interesting list. You might also want to try tryptophane, the essential amino acid from which serotonin is synthesised.

Please update us on how you react to every one of these supplements.

 

I am eager to learn about the mecanism of action of SSRI on our systems. I am convinced that we need to study what these molecules empirically did in order to assess what we can do to reclaim normal functioning. I tend to believe that post-SSRI anhedonia (which is included within PSSD) is a separate entity from the pure withdrawal process, and that time alone does not always heal it. There's something more to understand here. It is clear that nobody is going to help us but ourselves. Researching is my job, or was before this ordeal, so let's do something useful with it. If anybody wants to help and join, I'm building a bibliography and a research program to better understand post-SSRI syndrome (to call it that way).

Yes I would like to help you. I'm myself involved in helping pssd research. I think those two are strongly connected. We can exchange information if you want. 

[julesb]

I would like to really know if there are people who get their emotions back, i don’t just have the regular anhedonia i have emotional numbness where i can’t even feel sadness, i’m never anxious and the worst of them all i can’t feel love. I’m not sure if this is just depersonalization because i also have other things like i can’t feel my body in side and outside. I have a blank mind , and no thoughts , no visual memory really and some others. I’ve read the symptoms of other people with depersonalization and it seems to match up with me but then i second guess myself and think i have something far more worse like damage that won’t ever be repaired. I know it takes time to heal people have had dp for many years but i guess i just feel hopeless and need to vent sometimes. Also having PSSD just adds more terrible things to the list. I miss me. 

[kostakonkordia]

16 minutes ago, julesb said:

I would like to really know if there are people who get their emotions back, i don’t just have the regular anhedonia i have emotional numbness where i can’t even feel sadness, i’m never anxious and the worst of them all i can’t feel love. I’m not sure if this is just depersonalization because i also have other things like i can’t feel my body in side and outside. I have a blank mind , and no thoughts , no visual memory really and some others. I’ve read the symptoms of other people with depersonalization and it seems to match up with me but then i second guess myself and think i have something far more worse like damage that won’t ever be repaired. I know it takes time to heal people have had dp for many years but i guess i just feel hopeless and need to vent sometimes. Also having PSSD just adds more terrible things to the list. I miss me. 

Hey Jules, 

What you are describing sound very familiar. Alot of people have very similar symptoms. So don't worry. You don't have permanent brain damage. I know it's sometimes hard to believe that because you're anxiety tells you doomsday scenarios haha. I know that very well from myself... But I hope you know it's not true and alot of people recover. 

Greetings 

Kosta

[Jnthnslo]

2 hours ago, julesb said:

I would like to really know if there are people who get their emotions back, i don’t just have the regular anhedonia i have emotional numbness where i can’t even feel sadness, i’m never anxious and the worst of them all i can’t feel love. I’m not sure if this is just depersonalization because i also have other things like i can’t feel my body in side and outside. I have a blank mind , and no thoughts , no visual memory really and some others. I’ve read the symptoms of other people with depersonalization and it seems to match up with me but then i second guess myself and think i have something far more worse like damage that won’t ever be repaired. I know it takes time to heal people have had dp for many years but i guess i just feel hopeless and need to vent sometimes. Also having PSSD just adds more terrible things to the list. I miss me. 

What you are experiencing is very familiar to me as well. Almost everything you mentioned, I am also experiencing at some level. I also have the emotional numbness. I went from severe anxiety to having almost none most of the time and a very hard time with emotions. Occasionally I notice my anxiety coming back ever so slightly but stress always gets me back into a bad state. I can also affirm what @kostakonkordiasaid. Recovery from all these issues does happen to many. This can feel so permanent and it is scary because many have been struggling for a long time. However, I've reached out to so many people who have recovered so don't lose hope. Using DBT strategies may help cope. Feel free to reach out to me as well. I don't have any answers on how to speed up recovery but I am learning ways to cope better. You're not gone.

[kostakonkordia]

3 minutes ago, Jnthnslo said:

What you are experiencing is very familiar to me as well. Almost everything you mentioned, I am also experiencing at some level. I also have the emotional numbness. I went from severe anxiety to having almost none most of the time and a very hard time with emotions. Occasionally I notice my anxiety coming back ever so slightly but stress always gets me back into a bad state. I can also affirm what @kostakonkordiasaid. Recovery from all these issues does happen to many. This can feel so permanent and it is scary because many have been struggling for a long time. However, I've reached out to so many people who have recovered so don't lose hope. Using DBT strategies may help cope. Feel free to reach out to me as well. I don't have any answers on how to speed up recovery but I am learning ways to cope better. You're not gone.

Yes dbt can surely help. Coincidentally I know something that could speed up the recovery. Check for dysbiosis and treat it if positive ;)).

[LHRG]

21 hours ago, kostakonkordia said:

Yes I would like to help you. I'm myself involved in helping pssd research. I think those two are strongly connected. We can exchange information if you want. 

With pleasure. As I've read, you are mostly research the gut microbiota theory if I'm correct ? Let's talk in PM.

 

21 hours ago, julesb said:

I would like to really know if there are people who get their emotions back, i don’t just have the regular anhedonia i have emotional numbness where i can’t even feel sadness, i’m never anxious and the worst of them all i can’t feel love. I’m not sure if this is just depersonalization because i also have other things like i can’t feel my body in side and outside. I have a blank mind , and no thoughts , no visual memory really and some others. I’ve read the symptoms of other people with depersonalization and it seems to match up with me but then i second guess myself and think i have something far more worse like damage that won’t ever be repaired. I know it takes time to heal people have had dp for many years but i guess i just feel hopeless and need to vent sometimes. Also having PSSD just adds more terrible things to the list. I miss me. 

This is textbook post-SSRI anhedonia. It is one of the most common symptoms, albeit very distressing. The million dollar question is how are people able to recover from it.

[kostakonkordia]

1 hour ago, LHRG said:

With pleasure. As I've read, you are mostly research the gut microbiota theory if I'm correct ? Let's talk in PM.

 

This is textbook post-SSRI anhedonia. It is one of the most common symptoms, albeit very distressing. The million dollar question is how are people able to recover from it.

Yes just message me :))). 

[Cathy4]

On 1/14/2022 at 7:04 AM, BrokenWings said:

  I saw a Naturopath who determined I had leaky gut and he indicated that consuming Zoloft and alcohol were major contributors to developing a leaky gut. I am a firm believer that these drugs wreck havoc on the health of of our gut and cause all sorts of imbalances with our hormones and neurotransmitters

BrokenWings, I'm happy to hear that a naturopath you saw indicated that consuming Zoloft was a contribution in developing leaky gut because I developed gut issues while ON zoloft about 6 years ago and so this gives me hope that perhaps once I am completely off of the zoloft my gut will heal.  I also developed hypothyroidism and I'm wondering if my consumption of psychiatric drugs for over 20 years has something to do with that.  

 

I'm struggling bigtime with anhedonia, apathy, emotional numbness and constipation--just feeling like my digestion is slow and inefficient, etc.  

[BrokenWings]

@Cathy4 I am sure you will begin to recover once you are off Zoloft. I was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I believe it was a result of the drugs and probably other factors played a role. It took some time but I no longer have hypothyroidism and I contribute that to no longer being on Zoloft, no longer consuming alcohol, and changing my diet. I wish you well on your path towards recovery.