Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted September 14, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hang in there Alex, I think we are being attacked by the same wave and you are right, its a brutal one, I had a bad night and also feel exhausted. No need to be sorry, just do whatever you can to get through the time until it passes, that's what I'm doing. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Narcissus Posted September 15, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 15, 2014 Hang in there, Alex! 3 Years 150 mgs Effexor 2 month taper down to zero 3 terrible weeks at zero Back up to 75 mgs 2 months at 75 6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine. 3 month taper back to zero 1 HORRENDOUS week at zero 2 days back up to 37.5 3 days back up to 75 One week at 150 - unable to stabilize. Back down to 75 mgs At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche Link to comment
alex Posted September 15, 2014 Author Share Posted September 15, 2014 Hey Narcissus, good to hear from you again;I was missing you.You are one of the tough warriors in this site. Here I am, coping with the terrible waves of neuro-emotions, and the every day stressors... Thank you for stoping by. Hugs,A. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
alex Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 I am going to go away from the forum for a while. I hope I will give you a positive and more stable update soon. Right now I'm in the rollercoaster, and only time will tell how long this will take. I have seen an overall improvement, and that is important to remember. Hang in there everybody. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
mlrp Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Alex, I hope you are doing ok, or perhaps even better than ok. I'm sorry that your last bad wave coincided with my "disappearing act," which sometimes happens to me. I feel a need to retreat for a bit and then fall into a rabbit hole where I self-isolate almost completely. I hope we hear from you again soon. I will miss you until then. You have been one of my true inspirations here. 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Jose Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Ánimo Alex! You have the strength, just by reading your last post about the overall improvement when you're on a wave means so much. Un abrazo, Jose 1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering. Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves. Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving). Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics. Link to comment
alex Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 September update: good days outnumbered by far the bad days. This month that ends today, I can count 24 "good" days, 11 of wich were almost symptom free or very good. Only 6 bad "wavy" days... A few months ago it was absolutely the opposite. It gets better, very slowly and crazy, but surely. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted September 30, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 30, 2014 Good news, indeed! Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
alex Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 14 days in a row with very low symptoms....doing normal life...wow!! Sleeping much better;I wake up but get back to sleep w/o trouble. Windows getting better and longer....am I getting out of the woods?? 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 14 days in a row with very low symptoms....doing normal life...wow!! Sleeping much better;I wake up but get back to sleep w/o trouble. Windows getting better and longer....am I getting out of the woods?? Alex, I'm very glad to hear you're doing better! Back on September 16 you said you were going to stay away from the forum for awhile. Do you think that getting away helped you in some way, perhaps to focus on other life activities? I certainly can understand this, if so. I think it's easy for me to return to the forum and, though it serves a GREAT purpose, probably keeps my focus here rather than moving on. Just wondered what your thoughts are on this. Again...yay! to feeling better!! Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Way to go Alex! The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Such good news - I am happy for you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
alex Posted October 10, 2014 Author Share Posted October 10, 2014 I am in an awful wave of anxiety, DP, fear...my life is so empty. I've been giving the good fight, but I don't know if this is too much for me. Very dark scary thoughts..OMG when is this going to end... 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Oh Alex. I'm sorry you're in a wave. You had such a great window just recently. I know it's hard to recall when you're suffering. Hang in there. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 11, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 11, 2014 I've been giving the good fight, but I don't know if this is too much for me. That's the wave talking, you are much stronger now Alex and will get through this one like all the others. Your windows are coming along faster these days, less than 2 weeks ago you wrote: 14 days in a row with very low symptoms....doing normal life...wow!! Sleeping much better;I wake up but get back to sleep w/o trouble. Windows getting better and longer.... So hold on, another window is just around the corner, you are getting there. One step at a time, so keep walking. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
alex Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 Thank you Barb and Petu, my dear friends. I survived today. And I am hanging on. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
alex Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 Terrified with doom thoughts that this might never end. I read Dr. Shipko and I am very scared. Horrible anxiety and depression. Personal life very complicated. I feel I wont have the strenght to pull through. I don`t want to die. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted October 12, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2014 Hi Alex, sorry that you are having an awful wave. This will pass and the window will open again. When my waves hit I always panic and think that it is the one that will never end, but they always do and your will end too. I hope you can find a way to deal with your problems. One of the things the drugs do to us is to dull emotions and feelings so we don't care about things. When that drug is removed we have to re-learn how to deal with emotions. I hope this wave ends soon, and will watch for your update that tells us that you are feeling better. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Lexy Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Hi Alex Sorry to hear tou are in a wave. I spoke to shipko by phone a couple months ago when I was terrible depression wave. He told me to stick to 37mg as long as it took, possibly forever which freaked me out. He did mention 10% taper if I stabilized. He was very bleak. However at 10% / monthly shows he doesn't consider very slow tapers. I would not take his words to heart. You are showing progress maybe not at the moment but look back in time and will agree. Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89 Link to comment
mlrp Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Alex, dear one, Keep your head low during the storm - you are SO strong, and your windows are inspiring, giving hope to us all. I'm in a bad wave right now and the "doom thoughts" are plaguing me, too. I thought about you in the early days of this wave, while I was self-isolating, and you gave me courage from afar. MammaP, font of wisdom, is SO right. I am having to re-learn how to deal with emotions big time. Some of the biggest difficulty comes with emotional transitions - even the most minor ones, from one type of subtle feeling to another. It's like no shocks on my car and the brakes malfunctioning on a winding road! Keep walking, Alex. We will beat this. 1 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Thinking of you, Alex. I'm so sorry you're in a terrible wave. There seems to be a tsunami going round at the moment. It's hit me too. You've had some amazing windows. I hope this dreadful wave paves the way for a big bright window. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
alex Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 Thank you my dear friends for your support. Here I am riding this brutal wave;almost paralyzed with extreme anxiety and depression... It is amazing how a human being can endure this torment. I just don't know how I'm gonna pull through... I can't write or think. Very bad shape. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
alex Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 I am in the depths of hell. Barely hanging on. The last brutal wave before this one was 22 days ago...is that good? OMG! what is this?? 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 15, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 15, 2014 There seems to be a tsunami going round at the moment. It's hit me too. It has me too and its taking all my strength to distract, stay calm and get through each day. Alex, you will get through this wave, it will pass like they all do. Earlier today I was thinking exactly what you wrote "OMG! what is this??" and I was wondering how I was going to get through much more of it. But we will and we are, one step at a time. Each day we get through is one step closer to recovery. The waves are just part of the process. I think 22 days between waves is good, but I'm further behind than you and I generally get about 3 days between them. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I am so so sorry Alex and Petu. We all seem to be stuck in a monster of a wave. We can all pull through. We've done it before. Alex, keep on going. Another window will open for you soon, I'm sure of it. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
alex Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 Thank you dear friends for your support. The awful wave is over;I am in the low symptoms plateau again. The best sleep I've had in months last night...weird thing this syndrome... Wishing the rollercoaster to end,eventually... 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Lexy Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Yay!! Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89 Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 That's wonderful Alex!!! Yay! The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
mlrp Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I can almost feel the relief from here. Peace, my friend. :-) 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
alex Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 Very clear window today...is this crazy or what??? Thank you Lexy,WT, and mlrp. Hugs, A. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hey there, I'm fairly new to this. Four months into WD. Pretty crappy. But, I was talking to others and directed to your thread for some hope. I've read a fair amount. Just wanted to say hi. I def need some inspiration. Dealing with insomnia, restlessness, and internal tremors at the moment...amoung many other things. Have to look hard to find light at the end of the tunnel. But, I have had maybe three windows where I felt pretty normal, kinda. They only lasted an hour or so, but I guess that's a good sign this early on. Glad u are well 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
alex Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hi JDM; I wanted to give an update at the end of the month, but I'll give you an advance. After an awful wave that lasted 4 days, I've had 11 days in a row of quite good windows; as a matter of fact 9 of those days have been VERY good, almost symptom free. I am been able to function and enjoy life again and make some plans for the future,job and stuff. I am definetly recovering from a severe wd from 4+ yrs of Efexxor use. It has been the most terrifying experience of my life, and almost killed me. But after 27 LONG,HELLISH months I am starting to see undeaniable recovery. Good days outnumber the bad days by far, and it has been like this now for several weeks. I know I am not out of the woods yet, and I could be hit by a wave again, but I know the pattern and all I have to do is hang on, and keep stay the healing path. It gets better;it takes A LOT of courage, patience, and faith, things I didn't have before this ordeal began. Hang in there,try to stay away from psy meds, and you'll have your reward. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hi JDM; I wanted to give an update at the end of the month, but I'll give you an advance. After an awful wave that lasted 4 days, I've had 11 days in a row of quite good windows; as a matter of fact 9 of those days have been VERY good, almost symptom free. I am been able to function and enjoy life again and make some plans for the future,job and stuff. I am definetly recovering from a severe wd from 4+ yrs of Efexxor use. It has been the most terrifying experience of my life, and almost killed me. But after 27 LONG,HELLISH months I am starting to see undeaniable recovery. Good days outnumber the bad days by far, and it has been like this now for several weeks. I know I am not out of the woods yet, and I could be hit by a wave again, but I know the pattern and all I have to do is hang on, and keep stay the healing path. It gets better;it takes A LOT of courage, patience, and faith, things I didn't have before this ordeal began. Hang in there,try to stay away from psy meds, and you'll have your reward. Well, I'm so glad you are feeling so well, it does give me hope. The med madness started in Feb of this past Spring and I haven't felt anywhere near normal since then. But, the start of WD was just this past July. So I'm like four months in. I've already had a time when I thought I was near death, and I believe God stepped in. I wonder if I will have the courage and endurance. But I have to. I have no choice. Thanks again. Hope u just keep getting better. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
alex Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 October update. Still in the low symptoms-wave-windows plateau. Good days outnumbered bad days again this month. 25 low symptoms days,10 of which were very good, almost symptom free. 4 wavy days. Symptoms that persist the most:broken sleep; I wake up several times during the night, but been able to go back to sleep w/o problem. PSSD in the form of premature ejaculation; getting SLOWLY better. Doing almost normal life despite the symptoms;anxiety mostly. Keeping faith and good attitude. I'll be 61 next Friday 7th 1 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wolfhound Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 That´s great Alex. I am so happy for you, I´ve been reading your thread from time to time and it´s good news. Remember to read this post when a possible wave hits you. But it seems that the waves are no longer as debilitating as they once were. GREAT! Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing. tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave. In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication. i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid. Link to comment
alex Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Thank you for your words Wolfhound. Yes, I am getting better. I have to be gentle with my CNS and watch for triggers. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
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