alex Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 At 28 months since my last dose of Effexor,I am 75% or more recovered. Felling MUCH better.This month I've had 2 wavy days and 23 good days,so far. Symptoms fading away every day. Enjoying life again. Hang in there, it DOES get better. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Wow, this is so good to hear! So glad for you Alex. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 24, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 24, 2014 At 28 months since my last dose of Effexor,I am 75% or more recovered. Felling MUCH better.This month I've had 2 wavy days and 23 good days,so far. Symptoms fading away every day. Enjoying life again. Hang in there, it DOES get better. This is such wonderful news. Thank you for sharing it with us. Maybe soon you will be writing a success story! Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
mlrp Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Alex, As always, you give me hope and courage to carry on. I rejoice in your continued recovery. 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Wolfhound Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 That´s great Alex. I am sooooo happy for you. Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing. tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave. In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication. i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid. Link to comment
Athena Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 That is golden to my eyes Alex! And I want to say that I am very impressed by how you managed to keep us posted and encouraged even on difficult days, in a second (or maybe third?)language. Good job +++!!! Athéna (hug) 2000-2001: Effexor 2005-2012: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. Really bad side effects to all. Sept-Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 5mg Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg --> 10mg Dec 2012: Paxil 10mg-->0; 1 week later: HUGE WD symptoms. Started to get informed on the internet and back to 10mg Paxil. Dec 2012-Jan 2013: Paxil 10mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 2.5mg End Jan 2013: P 9mg, W 100mg, I 2.0mg Feb 2013: P 8mg, W 100mg, I 1.5mg April 2013: P 7mg, W 100mg, I 1.25mg May 2013: P 7mg, W 90mg, I 1mg June 2013: P 7mg, W 80mg, I 0mg July 1/2013: P 7, W 70 July 22/2013: P 7, W 60 Aug 2013: P 7, W 50 Sept 2013: P 6.1, W 50 Oct 2013: P up to 6.3, W 50 Nov 2013: P 6.2 to 5.9, W 50 Dec 2013: P 5.9, W 40 Jan 2014: P 5.3, W40 Feb 2014: P 5.3, W 30 March-April 2014: P 5.3, W 26 May 2014: P 5.3, W 20 June 2014: P 5.3 W 15 July 2014: P 5.3, W 14 Aug 2014: P 5.3, W up to 15 Sept 2014: P 5.3, W 14 Oct 2014: P 4.8, W 14 Nov 2014: P 4.3, W 14 Dec 2014-Jan 2015: P 3.9, W 14 Feb 2015: P 3.9, W 12 March 2015: P 3.6, W 12 April-May 2015: P 3.3, W 12 June 2015: P 3.3, W 10 July 2015: P 3.3, W 8 Aug-Sept 2015: P 3.3, W 6 Oct 2015: P 3.0, W 6 Nov 2015: P 2.7, W 6 Dec 2015: P 2.4, W 6 Jan-Feb 2016: P 2.4, W 5 March 2016: P 2.2, W 5 April 2016: P 2.2, W 4 May-June 2016: P 2.2, W 3 July 2016: P 2.2, W 2 Aug 2016: P 2.2, W 1 Sept 2016: P 2.2, W 0!! Oct 2016: P 2.0 Nov 2016-Jan 2017: P 1.8 Feb-Mar 2017: P 1.9 April-May 2017: P 1.8 June 2017: P 1.6 July-Dec 2017: P 1.5 Jan-April 2018: P 1.6 Others: Cytomel 25mcg (thyroid), vit. C, vit D, Omega-3 fish oil, Magnesium bisglycinate , Melatonin 1mg, 81mg Aspirin, Milk peptides, L-theanine, Valericalm tincture mix, scullcap tincture, Suan Zao Ren (jujube seeds) Link to comment
alex Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 November update:21 very good days, 4 "not as bad" days, and 5 wavy days, including yesterday and today Persistng symptoms: anxiety,depression,broken sleep, PSSD. When does it end...? Does it end...?? 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 2, 2014 21 very good days Its great to read this Alex. Even people not in withdrawal, having never taken any drugs have bad days and not so good days, so I would say you are very close to being recovered. Enjoy your good days, the waves are getting smaller and fewer each month. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
alex Posted December 2, 2014 Author Share Posted December 2, 2014 Thank you my dear friends All my love and good wishes to you from tropical paradise to USA, Canada, UK,Czech, Australia..WOW! such good friends all over the world...! 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
alex Posted December 2, 2014 Author Share Posted December 2, 2014 Awful wave triggered by stressful situation... Horrible dysphoria,anxiety-depression, insomnia... omg!very scared and dishearted. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
mlrp Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Alex, dear one, You DO have friends from all over the world, who understand and care about you! Stay strong. I, myself, was triggered by a stressful situation a few weeks ago and have yet to climb out of the dark hole I fell into... such a challenge when recovering and still having these drugs in one's system. Remember these extreme emotions are almost certainly exaggerated... left over from the w/d... I wish I could take away these bad feelings, but keep walking through... you've shown so many of us the way. :-) 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
alex Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 Horrible wave of depression, anxiety,dark thoughts. And I thought I was 75% healed...HA! This is cruel;loosing hope and will to live... I am sorry. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted December 4, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 4, 2014 I am sorry that you are feeling bad again Alex, but this will pass as always. When we are on the drugs they dull our senses and we don't respond naturally to stressful situations. When we are no longer on the drugs we have to relearn how to deal with stress. You are experiencing what may be normal responses, and your brain is learning how to process them This will pass Alex and you will feel better again. Mamma hug. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 You're going to be just fine, Alex. It must be such a shock to feel so bad when you've been getting such amazing windows. Don't forget that..you've been having so many windows. This too shall pass. You will go back to feeling how you were. This could be your last wave! Be gentle with yourself. Don't give up. You've come so far and are nearly there. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
alex Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 Almost paralyzed with anxiety and depression. What scares me the most is that I have been forced to use some benzo to get through the night, after many months without it. This f*****g thing wont let go. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
tgirl Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hey Alex, Are you ok? I have been in that wave for two days. Finally got a window an hour or so ago. Hang in there! Best wishes, Tgirl April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 6, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 6, 2014 Sorry to hear you have another wave Alex, hang in there. I've also been having some bad nights lately. You may get some rebound effect from the benzo you took, please be careful not to become dependent on it again, you have done so well to get off all the drugs. This one will pass, like all the others and you will be having more of those very good days again. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
alex Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Brutal wave;I'm dying here. Barely hanging on. Suicidal.My life is in danger. I would go to a hospital, but I know it would be worse. I am sorry. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Brutal wave;I'm dying here. Barely hanging on. Suicidal.My life is in danger. I would go to a hospital, but I know it would be worse. I am sorry. You have had whole months that are decent!!!!!! You are gonna be ok!!!! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Alex, I'm so sorry you're in a bad wave. Your consistent messages help me tremendously to see the unpredictable nature of all of this. But you have had good and longer windows. You are definitely getting better though you probably can't see or feel that right now. Hang in there. You're an inspiration to so many here. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
alex Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Thank you my good friends. Doing a little better. I've found out that the waves or the severity of them has a lot to do with my insane fear of not sleeping... 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Good to hear you're a bit better and good to have idea of what the trigger is. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
alex Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 After a very good November, I am in one of the most horrible and long waves ever... The worst part is that my sleep has deteriorated like never before;OMG! I don`t know if I have the strenght to cope with this.. How much longer?? Bad thoughts plaguing my mind OMG!!!! 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 11, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 11, 2014 I'm sorry you are still in this wave Alex. Has the stressful situation which triggered it been resolved? You are much stronger than you think and you will get through this one, we are all here for you. One day these waves are going to be nothing more than memories, so hold on now because those days are coming. Watching your recovery process has been part of what gives me hope and the inspiration to keep going. (hugs) I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
alex Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Thank you dear Petu and friends. I had a quite good rest last night, and that sems to make a big difference to me. I am feeling much better today and maybe I'm back to the low symptoms plateau again... Hugs,A. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Well done Alex. You're doing so well! The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
alex Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Thank you WT. Well, if the reward of finally been med free and recovered is equal to the infinite suffering of WD, it is worth it!! Hugs and good vibes all the way from tiny Costa Rica to mighty UK. You are all my heros. 1 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Hudgens Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I remember feeling so bad, and wondering if I could make it through the next minute, but none of that seems to bother me now. When you begin to feel like your old self again, none of those awful times (way beyond awful, really) mean anything much. I don't think it's this way with other tragic things that people go through-people do get traumatized when they go through bad things. It doesn't work that way with antidepressant withdrawal, though, once you get through it, you're through with it. I remember it-but the memory doesn't bother me for some reason. This is one of the few good things you can say about this withdrawal. The problem, of course, is getting there, but you will. 1 Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks. Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey). 7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on Imipramine, plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993. March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa. 2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq). Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper. Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic. January 13th 2014-.06mgs April 17th 2014- .03mgs May 11th 2014- .02mgs Ended taper October 31st 2014 Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal! Link to comment
alex Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 3 quite good days and nights in a row;I think I'm back to the low symptoms plateau again. Healing continues. Despite the awful waves, now I know one thing for sure:I WILL RECOVER. Hang in there everybody. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Glad u came through!!!! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
lexicon Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Hi dear Alex, Dropping in to see how you are doing .. I am saddened that you had some tough times recently But Alex, as always they do go away, and the sun shines again I am happy that you have recovered and are feeling much better .. Remember to keep walking dear Alex ..Soon you will be out of the tunnel, and then, there would be no looking back .. Thinking of you, and holding you in thought and prayer .. Love and hugs, Lexicon Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
Cdav Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Hi Alex, so sorry you went through this horrible and long wave. I'm in one myself. The good things are that you're off the AD and you've experienced personally a lot of good days so you know that recovery is possible. Be thankful for those windows. Hope you keep improving. -Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months. -Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. -Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. - (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. - Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. -January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. -February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started. -March 2015: Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. -July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. -September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. -March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. -August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Narcissus Posted December 14, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 14, 2014 So glad to hear that you're recovering Alex, even if you're still struggling through waves. You sound very strong, soon to be healthy I'm sure! 3 Years 150 mgs Effexor 2 month taper down to zero 3 terrible weeks at zero Back up to 75 mgs 2 months at 75 6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine. 3 month taper back to zero 1 HORRENDOUS week at zero 2 days back up to 37.5 3 days back up to 75 One week at 150 - unable to stabilize. Back down to 75 mgs At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Glad you made it! Phew! That was a rough one! Gave me anxiety for you just reading it! Congrats! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Athena Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Hi Alex, I am relieved your wave has passed and you can live again. Our thoughts are so disrupted in those times, and it's hard to remember who we are and all the hard work we have done... Good job for that amasing work you've done!! Bravo! 2000-2001: Effexor 2005-2012: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. Really bad side effects to all. Sept-Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 5mg Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg --> 10mg Dec 2012: Paxil 10mg-->0; 1 week later: HUGE WD symptoms. Started to get informed on the internet and back to 10mg Paxil. Dec 2012-Jan 2013: Paxil 10mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 2.5mg End Jan 2013: P 9mg, W 100mg, I 2.0mg Feb 2013: P 8mg, W 100mg, I 1.5mg April 2013: P 7mg, W 100mg, I 1.25mg May 2013: P 7mg, W 90mg, I 1mg June 2013: P 7mg, W 80mg, I 0mg July 1/2013: P 7, W 70 July 22/2013: P 7, W 60 Aug 2013: P 7, W 50 Sept 2013: P 6.1, W 50 Oct 2013: P up to 6.3, W 50 Nov 2013: P 6.2 to 5.9, W 50 Dec 2013: P 5.9, W 40 Jan 2014: P 5.3, W40 Feb 2014: P 5.3, W 30 March-April 2014: P 5.3, W 26 May 2014: P 5.3, W 20 June 2014: P 5.3 W 15 July 2014: P 5.3, W 14 Aug 2014: P 5.3, W up to 15 Sept 2014: P 5.3, W 14 Oct 2014: P 4.8, W 14 Nov 2014: P 4.3, W 14 Dec 2014-Jan 2015: P 3.9, W 14 Feb 2015: P 3.9, W 12 March 2015: P 3.6, W 12 April-May 2015: P 3.3, W 12 June 2015: P 3.3, W 10 July 2015: P 3.3, W 8 Aug-Sept 2015: P 3.3, W 6 Oct 2015: P 3.0, W 6 Nov 2015: P 2.7, W 6 Dec 2015: P 2.4, W 6 Jan-Feb 2016: P 2.4, W 5 March 2016: P 2.2, W 5 April 2016: P 2.2, W 4 May-June 2016: P 2.2, W 3 July 2016: P 2.2, W 2 Aug 2016: P 2.2, W 1 Sept 2016: P 2.2, W 0!! Oct 2016: P 2.0 Nov 2016-Jan 2017: P 1.8 Feb-Mar 2017: P 1.9 April-May 2017: P 1.8 June 2017: P 1.6 July-Dec 2017: P 1.5 Jan-April 2018: P 1.6 Others: Cytomel 25mcg (thyroid), vit. C, vit D, Omega-3 fish oil, Magnesium bisglycinate , Melatonin 1mg, 81mg Aspirin, Milk peptides, L-theanine, Valericalm tincture mix, scullcap tincture, Suan Zao Ren (jujube seeds) Link to comment
alex Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Thank you my good friends. 7 days in a row of very low symptoms. 7 days of very clear window. Persisting symptoms:broken sleep.tinnitus,and premature ejaculation. It keeps getting better.I am 61 yrs. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Recommended Posts