Sunflower414: medicated at age 7, now 27

[Ariel]

Hi @Sunflower414

Sounds like withdrawal, possibly an acute phase or bad wave. 

Sorry you're going through this. Withdrawal can be so hard. 

It gets better. Hang in there. 

A.

 

 

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414  

I can relate to the is me or WD... I think it is both ----morphed emotions and morphed anxiety. As we go down on the chemicals the brain has to adapt to the changes- or whole brain systems is being sent out of wack  so this will affect how we think, feel--everything in our bodies ...........Sadly our brains have been greatly changed with the drugs and it's fighting to heal as we go down......Sadly some of us have to go through more WD then others.  But we can all heal♥️

 

I took out my book Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa Frederick to remind myself that I can heal and most of my symptoms are from drug WD......'

 

I printed out the Story "What's happening in Your Brain" to remind me when I feel that terror- crazy thinking- that my amygdala (fear center of your brain) is being triggered......Frontal lobe ( planning part of your brain)- the occipital lobe( vision center)- Hippocampus( memory) Hypothalamus (regulates body temperature) Vestibular system (the inner ear)  all these things can be affected from WD......I connected the dots as to why I think my gums and brain get that itchy irritated-tingling agitation can be  Healing nerves.......Like a scab that you want to rip off.....

 

I am a month out from my last cut, I am slowly come around lol and so will you-- believe me I know all about the depression-crazy thoughts- hopelessness- self doubts-horrible anxiety- feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack- just to name a few-can you find somehow find away to just let time pass--- Can you right down any improvements no matter how small it is....Ask your husband to help point them out....I know that I have seen improvements but boy they sure are hard to see or accept as enough growth to warrant the amount of hurt you are feeling at the time- but try to hold on to the anyway-- Tell yourself anything positive " I love myself" I am safe" I will be okay" I am healing" even if you don't feel them to be true-(remember your feeling can lie to you)---your brain will respond to it anyway the same as it responds to negativity and fear- I know I know so easy to say when it's not you in the fight of your life at the moment...

 

Remember to be kind/gentle with yourself---you are healing in both mind and body.....On a lighter note...We don't have to go through the last year again.. lol.   We have heal so much since the last year.......You had some good windows-that tell me or I should say more importantly tell you,  that your brain is healing/can heal. ♥️

Time will pass, it has to, and it will drag you into the future with it.....the days may seem long but weeks go fast (strange how this works)

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @Ariel and @Greatful your responses meant a lot to me. 
 

Since I’ve been on this crap since I was 7 years old, I have a deep rooted fear this is just me and this will be my life off of medications or for a very long time. Part of me wonders if I need to try more medications to get my life back, but that seems like a dead end. Thank you for your support 🤍 I suppose I will hold. I was hoping to get to 10mg and then do a long 8-12 month hold, but I do not know if I can continue to taper. The other issue is that paxil was

 

 

 

NOT working even at the 20mg. So I am wondering if I will never stabilize since the drug didn’t work anyway?

[Sunflower414]

Is there anywhere with success stories using the Prozac bridge?

[getofflex]

Here is someone who successfully got off psych drugs, and they bridged from Cymbalta to Prozac: 

 

Gato123: Healing is Possible - My Success Story

 

She may have tapered off the Prozac too fast.  Be sure and use our protocols for bridging and tapering, not what she did.  However, she is better now. 

 

JoelRivard used Prozac as a bridge to taper off Effexor, and that worked for him/her.  

 

Successful Bridge of Effexor to Prozac

Edited April 29, 2022 by getofflex

[Sunflower414]

1 hour ago, getofflex said:

Here is someone who successfully got off psych drugs, and they bridged from Cymbalta to Prozac: 

 

Gato123: Healing is Possible - My Success Story

 

She may have tapered off the Prozac too fast.  Be sure and use our protocols for bridging and tapering, not what she did.  However, she is better now. 

 

JoelRivard used Prozac as a bridge to taper off Effexor, and that worked for him/her.  

 

Successful Bridge of Effexor to Prozac

 Thank you very much. I have been declining since adding the liquid and having even more withdrawal symptoms even though I haven’t decreased. Should I try to stabilize first from this or do the switch regardless? Thank you 

[Sunflower414]

I’m looking at ever sense adding liquid I’ve been doing worse. Can this happen? Should I wait to switch to prozac or does it not matter? 

[getofflex]

21 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I have been declining since adding the liquid and having even more withdrawal symptoms even though I haven’t decreased. Should I try to stabilize first from this or do the switch regardless?

I would stabilize first before doing a switch.  Apparently your system is extra sensitized.  

[Sunflower414]

5 hours ago, getofflex said:

I would stabilize first before doing a switch.  Apparently your system is extra sensitized.  

 

Thank you. I am desperate for relief. I can’t even take the liquid Paxil. I pray that somehow I can get better and get off this.

[getofflex]

It may not be because of the liquid Paxil.  Perhaps you are just in a wave, or there is something else in your environment that is affecting you.  

[Sunflower414]

When I  begin my Prozac switch, what do I do if it doesn’t go well? Do I just go back to the normal amount of Paxil I’m on now? I am going to do this once I stabilize here a bit but I want to know what to do if things go haywire 

[Sunflower414]

Adding to my last post: 

 

When I  begin my Prozac switch, what do I do if it doesn’t go well? Do I just go back to the normal amount of Paxil I’m on now? I am going to do this once I stabilize here a bit but I want to know what to do if things go haywire.

 

i know that I’m in this spot due to a lot of the switching that happened a year ago. Because of this, should I not try Prozac in fear that kindling may happen? Or does anyone have advice on what they would do?

 

 

 

Edited May 3, 2022 by ChessieCat
resized text

[getofflex]

I will confer with the other mods, and one of us will get back to you.  

[Sunflower414]

Thanks I look forward to your response 

[Mdawg]

💜

[getofflex]

Sunflower I'm still waiting to hear from the other staff on this.  Thanks for your patience. 

[Sunflower414]

1 hour ago, getofflex said:

Sunflower I'm still waiting to hear from the other staff on this.  Thanks for your patience. 

Thank you getofflex 

[Sunflower414]

Any update from a mod?

[getofflex]

Hi Sunflower, thanks for your patience.  

 

Erell is one of our mods, and she did a Paxil to Prozac switch two years ago.  She did not have a good experience with it.  She is still suffering from it two years later.  Doing a Paxil to Prozac bridge is unpredictable - we estimate that about 50% of the time it helps, and 50% of the time it makes things worse.  For the 50% for whom it does not work, they end up in a brutal cold turkey from Paxil, and then still have a long Prozac taper ahead of them.  The problem is, once it is discovered that the bridge isn't working, they are already in so deep, that there is very little that can be done to make things better, because it is impossible to know if the bad symptoms are from the discontinuation of the Paxil, or the introduction of Prozac.  And, we don't know if increasing the new drug, Prozac, will help to lessen the withdrawal, or if it will further destabilize a nervous system that is already highly sensitized and destabilized.  

 

Another of our mods, go2zero, made a bridge from a low dose of Lexapro.  Here are his words:  

 

"I also made a bridge to Prozac (coming from a very low Lexapro dose of approximately 0,2mg)

 

It resulted in heavy WD symptoms because of stopping the Lexapro and a extremely unstable period of many months after bridging. (nearly impossible to sleep, depersonalisation, extreme anxiety and so on...)

 

Now almost 3 years later I am struggling a lot coming off the very low dose of Prozac I am taking (0,29mg). 

 

Looking back to the heavy WD symptoms of Lexapro after bridging to Prozac and the difficulties I am having getting off the Prozac I would never have made the bridge if I had known these risks..." 

 

Hopefully, these other experiences will help you to make your decision.  

 

[Sunflower414]

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I so appreciate you getting all this together for me.

 

I am continuing to pray and think about what next steps to take. 
 

if I do not do the Prozac bridge, would I just continue to hold? My last drops have been very small, I haven’t had a window in months. It seems the withdrawal gets worse the longer I hold. I am afraid it is because Paxil wasn’t working to begin with so I don’t have a good place/baseline to aim for while on this medication 

 

also congrats on your taper. I see you are almost done. 🤍

[Sunflower414]

I’m sitting outside today feeling the need to share how I’m feeling, and hopefully be able to see this post later and see “how far I’ve come”.

 

i feel so lost. Since this experience, I’ve lost so many friends. My job. My apartment. I lost the joy I felt while playing with my dog or when painting. It seems I have no emotions except negative (anger, sad, depressed, and anxious). I’m afraid of what else it will take from me. Overall the most devastating thing is it took my spark. I used to be so joyful, people would make comments about how I was always so positive and happy. Now I’m not. I fear this is just me unmedicated, or on less meds.
 

i feel angry knowing I’ll never know who I could’ve been without these medications. I feel sad because I’m confused on how to move forward. The Paxil never helped which is why I was considering the Prozac bridge. I don’t seem to be able to stabilize or feel any better no matter how long I hold. Is the bridge with the risk? I considered holding for a long period of time and trying 5-10% again. When I mentioned this to someone I pay to speak to about this experience (and someone who’s been through it), she said I HAVE to keep moving / tapering. She said those who don’t taper and just hold end up being the ones who “don’t make it”. That terrifies me.

 

not really looking for answers but thank you for letting me share 🙏🏻

[ChessieCat]

Something which I suggest to members who have been on drugs from a young age, and that includes people who started taking them in their late teens/early twenties, is because you have possibly not learned any non drug coping skills that it might be a good idea to find a good, supportive counsellor who can teach you general life skills.  People who have never taken a psychiatric drug experience high and low moods and sometimes dark/er periods.  It is just part of being human and having to deal with the everyday stresses of life and what things happen to us along the way and it is helpful to know how to get through those bad times when they happen.

[getofflex]

On 5/7/2022 at 11:23 AM, Sunflower414 said:

if I do not do the Prozac bridge, would I just continue to hold? My last drops have been very small, I haven’t had a window in months. It seems the withdrawal gets worse the longer I hold.

Before I can answer this, I will need you to keep a daily symptom and drug journal.  Post these here in your intro for each day, and do a full 24 hours, so we can also see your sleep patterns.  We need to see if you may be having an adverse reaction to the Paxil.  

 

Recording Drug Schedule and Symptoms to Track Patterns and Progress

 

Here is an example: 

 

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

 

Please pay especially close attention to how you feel before you take your Paxil, and in the 5 to 6 hours after you take your Paxil.  If you feel worse afterwards, it indicates you are having an adverse reaction to it.  

Edited May 8, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

 We at SA do not suggest pushing through a taper, in spite of not stabilizing.  People who power through a taper no matter what often end up much worse, even crashing their nervous systems.    You really don't want to do that.  

 

21 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

She said those who don’t taper and just hold end up being the ones who “don’t make it”. That terrifies me.

I don't agree with this.  I held on 5 mg Lexapro for almost a year early in my taper, from 2017 to 2018.  And in 2020, I held on a lower dose for about 5 months.  Both of these long holds helped me a lot.  This person you pay for advice has a different nervous system than you, so that may have worked for her, but from what I've seen in your thread, your nervous system is pretty highly sensitized.  

 

First, lets see if you are having an adverse reaction.  Then, we will take it from there.  Slow and steady wins the race.  

 

My heart is sad for you to hear of all that you have lost.  I, too, have lost lots of things from these drugs and the withdrawal.  I agree with what Chessie Cat said about finding a counselor to teach life skills, since you were on the drugs from a young age.  

Edited May 8, 2022 by getofflex

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414  How are you doing?♥️

[Sunflower414]

Thank you getoff lex. I appreciate your thoughtful response. And I apologize for making you feel that I have wasted your time. My mum paid for me to speak to this person and the comments she made had scared me, and as you know in this WD state we can be very impressionable. Thank you for always taking the time to help on my page. I have been taking daily journal notes yesterday and today and will post. I have taken everything you’ve said into consideration and have decided to hold for a few months. 

 

Greatful, I am hanging in there. I hope and pray you are doing well. 🤍
 

 

[Sunflower414]

 

10am: Woke up, let dog out, back to bed. Very tired 

 

1pm: woke up. Took meds. Very tried. Eat some food and sat outside

 

3pm: Took a shower and made lunch. Starting to have hopelessness feelings and anxiety, chest hurting. 

 

3:30pm: chest hurting badly. Tried to distract by watching tv. 

 

5pm: cousin came over to our house in prom dress. Very anxious and didn’t want to but forced myself to see family. Felt chest bad and hopelessness while family was over 

 

6pm: talked with mom about how to deal with SI depression and anxiety. Made me feel worse 

 

8pm: went to gym for massage chair. Began crying. Feeling extreme hopelessness and feeling “trapped”. Went home and tried to eat food 

 

11pm: laid down

[Ariel]

@Sunflower414

Thinking of you <3

A.

[Sunflower414]

1pm: slept very late! Exhausted, took meds with breakfast 

 

2pm: very tired but okay. Got car wash 

 

4pm: went to the eye doctor. Too anxious to drive myself so I had my mom go with me. once I was there I felt a bit better 

 

6pm: ruminated thoughts about "how will I get off these meds, how will I ever have a kid, etc." lasted until about 9pm.

 

11pm: laid down to try and sleep. Tried to not research meds - anxiety/chest hurting over it

[Sunflower414]

On 5/8/2022 at 5:13 PM, getofflex said:

First, lets see if you are having an adverse reaction.  Then, we will take it from there.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Thank you GetoffLex. I posted a journal of the last two days that hopefully can help determine this. 

[Sunflower414]

Getofflex you said

 

You’ve been asking us repeatedly about a Paxil to prozac bridge, but in a post dated 12/30/21, you stated you had already gone to Prozac previously and it didn’t go well, so therefore it would not be a good idea to do this bridge.

I want to clarify that I tried Prozac last in the mists of insane switching that my previous psych had me doing. but in the past I had switched from Paxil to Prozac no problem. I believe I’ve done it 3 times successfully, the last time being in 2015. Things fell apart when I tapered off of Xanax and that’s when I ended up trying a bunch of other medications. However, in the past when stabilized, the switch went well. 

 

[ChessieCat]

What worked in the past will not necessarily work the same way in the future.  This is because the effect of going on and off psychiatric drugs and dose changes has a cumulative effect on the nervous system.  We have SA members who changed drugs and/or went up and down multiple times with no issues, and then one day BAM! they did something that they had done before and things got worse.  They quite often come to SA after this has happened saying something like "but it never happen before when I did this so why now?"

[Sunflower414]

@ChessieCat that is insane. Very crazy that doctors do not know this. I have a small sliver of hope that MAYBE it would work one more time, but like you said, I guess there’s no guarantee. I am hoping to have a child in the next few years of my life, so the duration of this tapering off Paxil is a concern. While I’d rather not be on any medication I believe Prozac is preferred during pregnancy 

[ChessieCat]

You can probably now understand better why we try to give members as much as information about the possible risks so that they can make an informed decision.  I feel sure that every staff member would love to be able to say "this is the way to do it and it will work (because they know it will)" but we cannot so we do not.  As an example we have seen that reinstatement works for some and not others.  For some people it doesn't work if they do it soon after they stopped the drug, whereas for others they are able to reinstate many months down the track and it works.

[Sunflower414]

Does anyone know if my journals I submitted show an adverse reaction to Paxil?

[Sunflower414]

Bad time sleeping 

 

1pm wake up take meds 

 

2pm do some work on computer. Feel okay 

 

4pm bit more anxious. Worried ruminating thoughts on switching med or holding 

 

630pm SI worry hopelessnsss. Cry

 

8pm drive to boyfriends. Went on walk. Trying to distract 

 

11pm try to sleep. Feeling worried and hopeless feeling