Sunflower414: medicated at age 7, now 27

[Mdawg]

On 5/29/2021 at 10:52 PM, Sunflower414 said:

Hi all. I’m thankful I came across this group. 
 

Wow - where to begin... well, at age 7 I was given Paxil and 20 years later I am still on it. 
 

Throughout the 20 years I have tried ever SSRI and SNRI on the planet. I was given Valium and after five years by the grace of God somehow tapered off it myself. 
 

In the past 2 years I was put on effexor, pristiq, viibryd, lexapro, celexa, prozac, and landed back on 20mg Paxil. 
 

Four months ago I lowered by dosage to 15mg and it has been pure hell. Suicidal thoughts which I have never had, super strange thoughts, terror like I cannot explain. 
 

Reading your success stories on here gives me hope.

 

 

How long should I hold at 15mg before continuing to do a 5-10% taper? How did you all manage to work during this time? With being put on these drugs at such a young age — is it possible to heal, or am I permanently damaged? How do you let

go of your anger regarding this situation. I didn’t choose to take these meds. 
 

Much love, 

Sunflower414

Hello,

I was put on at 12.  I’m tapering off.  We can do it!!!!

[Sunflower414]

@getofflexi use a compounding pharmacy which makes it where I have to plan in advanced. The process is aggravating. I have to be due for a refill, call my doctor, they call the pharmacy, then it takes 3-4 and then I have to drive an hour to pick it up. It’s crazy. I was weighing my pills but I didn’t feel confident in me doing that. I was afraid I was doing the wrong dosages. I could call and get to get 14mg but i would have to take 13.6mg until I get it..

[getofflex]

19 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I could call and get to get 14mg but i would have to take 13.6mg until I get it..

I see.  

[Sunflower414]

@getofflex what do you suggest? 

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414  Sad that we so hyper worried all the time  I really now how scary it is to make changes......I would guess that you are going to have to try it.    You may have a bump, will you be able  to wait it out. or you could switch to 13.8 or 14  Can you get Paxil in  liquid?  I switched to liquid and it is so much easier to get accurate daily  dosing.  No scale to have the the higher  change of little inconsistences. 

Maybe the mods have a different idea?

 

[getofflex]

4 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

what do you suggest?

Ideally, it would be best to stay on the 13.6 mg if possible.  This is what you are on now, right?  Wait until you are stable on this, then do a very slight reduction.  

[getofflex]

On 2/28/2022 at 1:28 PM, Sunflower414 said:

I could call and get to get 14mg but i would have to take 13.6mg until I get it..

Didn't you say you were going to do a 2% reduction?  That would be from 13.6 mg to 13.3, not 14 mg?  Were you wanting to updose, or was 14 mg a mistake?  

 

I agree with @Greatful, the liquid would be far easier, because then you would have great ease of measuring any dose you needed, and you could taper when you needed.  If you switch to liquid, be sure and cross taper gradually.  Let me know if you switch to liquid, and I'll give you info on how to cross taper.  

Edited March 1, 2022 by getofflex

[Sunflower414]

@getofflex I was on 14mg. and dropped 2%, to 13.6 

 

I did get liquid before but was so confused on how to do it which is why I switched to the compounding pharmacy. It also said the bottles only lasted one month and I was paying $100 a bottle and throwing a lot of it away. Do you think liquid is better? Is it difficult to switch to liquid?

 

I was thinking about trying 1% weekly but that would be 13.6 to 13.33 and I'm not sure how would I would ever measure that? With liquid is it doable? How do I learn how to use the liquid? Thank you 

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414 

12 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

It also said the bottles only lasted one month and I was paying $100 a bottle and throwing a lot of it away.

I'm confused with your statement that the liquid only last for one month?  There is a expiration date on the bottle.  I asked my pharmacist how long does the liquid last ie does it lose it's strength after x amount of time.  She said it should be good for around a year.  Maybe home made liquid doesn't last as long?   Does your insurance not cover the liquid?  Or is it just that expensive in liquid.....Are you using brand name or generic..........

If you can get liquid it will be much more easy to get a constant dosing........The little med syringes that they give you can measure to the 1ml.  

 

 

[Sunflower414]

thank you @Greatful I do not have health insurance since I lost my job. I was getting liquid but on the bottle it said to discard it after 30 days of opening. With the liquid, can you do a dosage such as 13.33? Or only 13.3?

 

how are you doing?

[Sunflower414]

@getofflex 

 I was on 14mg. and dropped 2%, to 13.6 

 

I did get liquid before but was so confused on how to do it which is why I switched to the compounding pharmacy. I was told the bottles only last 30 days after opening. If I do liquid, without insurance it’s almost $400 a month. Can you do part liquid and part tablet? Like, 10mg tablet and 3.33 in liquid?

 

I was thinking about trying 1% weekly but that would be 13.6 to 13.33 and I'm not sure how would I would ever measure that? With liquid is it doable? How do I learn how to use the liquid? Thank you 

[getofflex]

21 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I was on 14mg. and dropped 2%, to 13.6 

Thanks for clarifying.  

 

21 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I did get liquid before but was so confused on how to do it which is why I switched to the compounding pharmacy

Buy syringes, and remove the needles, disposing of them safely.  

 

Then, you insert the syringe into the bottle, and draw up the liquid by pulling back on the plunger.  Hold the syringe with the open tip up, and flick it with your thumb and middle finger to get the air bubble up to the top.  Slowly squeeze out the air bubble.  Hold the open tip over the bottle, and squeeze out excess liquid until you have the dose you need in the syringe.  Insert just the tip of the syringe in your mouth, and squeeze it in.  Take the plunger out of the syringe, and rinse each piece separately, and allow to air dry on a clean surface.  Usually one syringe lasts me about 4-6 weeks.  Here is a link to amazon listings for syringes: 

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=syringes+for+humans+medication&crid=3U3Z95LBT965J&sprefix=syringes+for+humans+medication%2Caps%2C98&ref=nb_sb_noss

 

Question:  How many mg of the drug is in 1 ml of the liquid? If you aren't sure, ask your pharmacist.  

 

21 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I was told the bottles only last 30 days after opening.

This is probably incorrect, unless you were given short dated medication.  Commercially prepared liquid SSRI's have preservatives in them.  My bottles of liquid Lexapro usually didn't expire for at least a year.  Just be sure they are in an amber bottle to keep the light from breaking them down.  Ask you pharmacist what the expiration date is - s/he should know this and write it on your own bottle.  

 

This topic will explain more about liquid medications, how to administer them, about expiration dates, etc.  

 

Questions and Answers About Liquid Medications

[getofflex]

22 hours ago, Sunflower414 said:

I was thinking about trying 1% weekly but that would be 13.6 to 13.33 and I'm not sure how would I would ever measure that? With liquid is it doable? How do I learn how to use the liquid? Thank you 

What you can do, is round if off.  Since your system is extra sensitive to tapering, I would always round it up.  Just round it up to 13.4.  If you wanted to be super precise and do 13.33, you can get the small syringes that measure up to hundredths of a ml, but I don't think that is necessary.  

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @getofflex -- is the transition to liquid hard? Do you know if I could do a 10mg tablet PLUS the remainder in liquid? Or do you have to pick tablets or liquid

 

Thank you for all your help 

[getofflex]

I think it is fine as long as you do the transition gradually.  Also, do not change your dose while you are transitioning to the liquid.  Please read this link for instructions on how to transition properly: 

 

Changing from Tablet to Liquid

 

Yes, you can take 10 mg tablet plus the remainder liquid, no problem.  

 

 

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414 Stopping by to see how you are doing?

[Sunflower414]

Hi @Greatful

 

After my last drop to 13.6mg I felt awful for 10 days, and now I feel much better! I can’t believe it! 
 

I’m going to drop again in about a week and try a smaller cut going from 13.6-13.4 in hopes that I can not have those 10 awful days. Either way, I’m so thankful that I was able to drop and recover decently quick.

 

How are you doing?

[Momoffour]

I started meds at 7 also... and i am now 27 and have been on and off various ones. I reinstated after stopping an antipsychotic and an ssri when all the real hell began.... i was at 1mg for 5 days then 2 mg for 2 weeks and now 3 for over a week, i am also terrified that i will not stabilize... and every time i go up i feel worse. Unsure of what to do at this point... You give me some hope  

[Sunflower414]

Hey @Momoffour

 

im so sorry you are going through this. It’s truly one of the worst things anyone can experience. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. 
 

My first 8 months after a 25% drop were horrific. And now, I am pretty bad for about two weeks after a drop then feel okay. Just remember you’ll be okay and you will heal… and unfortunately it takes time. 
 

The #1 thing that’s helping me the most is nutrition. I’ve been eating a carnivore diet and it’s changed everything. Maybe look into it. 
 

Sending prayers your way 🤍

[Ginger23]

@Sunflower414 did u hv insomnia during your times of med changes?  Mine so screwed up. Also did sleep come back eventually? I feel like it’s never ending. Thanks 

[Sunflower414]

40 minutes ago, Ginger23 said:

@Sunflower414 did u hv insomnia during your times of med changes?  Mine so screwed up. Also did sleep come back eventually? I feel like it’s never ending. Thanks 

hi @Ginger23

 

i was lucky enough to not have insomnia and still don’t. But, I had extreme chronic fatigue. I could sleep over 12 hours easy most nights. Hang in there. It does get better

[Greatful]

@Sunflower414  It sounds like you are responding well to the cuts😊......You sound so much more positive♥️.........  There is hope for us, we can heal 😊

 

Are you having some WD symptoms?  Thank goodness you can sleep.......I can sleep around 5-6 a night, not sound a sound sleep very often, but it is getting better.......It's my break from this nightmare lol.........12 hours of sleep helps to pass the time, you only have to get through 12 hours of fun..........Don't get me wrong I know how horrible fatigue and lack of energy is.......

 

Can you share some of the foods that you are eating.........I'm going through my nausea and lack of appetite again, but would love to know what kind of meat you eat........I like meat and boy if it could help I'm on it.

 

I am cutting just like you......My last cut was a little rough for a few weeks but somehow I feel a big increase in healing.......Still having WD symptoms but that is the way it goes.......Wouldn't it be great if the lower we go the better we start to feel😊  Of course we have to go through the dip in the road.........Man they can be disheartening and scary...........

 

Spring is around the corner and being outside hopefully will speed up the healing.......

 

 

[Sunflower414]

Hi @Greatful! Yes I am feeling more positive. My first cut (25%) the withdrawal was relentless with no breaks for 9 months. So going from 9 months to 9 days was a pleasant surprise. While it's awful, it was great to know ever cut won't last months.

 

Yes it is very tiring being exhausted all the time but I would rather have this than insomnia. I'm glad you are feeling that healing is happening quicker! I agree that the weather will help. Also, I AM HOPING (fingers crossed) that the lower I go, the better I feel! Same with you! Wouldn't that be amazing?

 

A day of eating looks kind of like this for me:

Bacon & Eggs. Steak, Lamb, Shrimp, Salmon. Sometimes I add in full fat yogurt. 

 

Have you heard of MIkhaila Peterson? She cured her depression and got off meds with eating only meat. Also check out Rebekah Farmer interviews. 

 

I am glad you are hanging in there!

[getofflex]

@Sunflower414I've seen huge improvements in you over the past 10 months since you first came in here.  I'm very glad that you've hung in there, and are not giving up!  I'm also very glad the carnivore diet is helping.  I like meat and seafood, too.  I found that cleaning up my diet has helped a lot.  

 

Keep up the great work!  

[cathnz]

On 3/18/2022 at 1:11 PM, Sunflower414 said:

Hey @Momoffour

 

im so sorry you are going through this. It’s truly one of the worst things anyone can experience. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. 
 

My first 8 months after a 25% drop were horrific. And now, I am pretty bad for about two weeks after a drop then feel okay. Just remember you’ll be okay and you will heal… and unfortunately it takes time. 
 

The #1 thing that’s helping me the most is nutrition. I’ve been eating a carnivore diet and it’s changed everything. Maybe look into it. 
 

Sending prayers your way 🤍

@Sunflower414how long have you been doing carnivore? I'm looking into it... 

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @getofflex I am unfortunately back in a wave but hoping it doesn’t last long. I am currently tapering 1.5% and plan to do so until I reach 10mg then my hold for awhile. I’m afraid after a hold, I’ll still only be able to do a 1.5% reduction. after a hold — have you seen people be able to reduce faster? Do you believe we can heal while on the meds still? 

[getofflex]

I'm sorry to hear you are in another wave. It's very good that you are doing a slow and gradual taper.  I don't know if you will be able to taper faster after your hold.  This process requires massive truckloads of patience.  Everyone is different.  From working with you in the past almost year, I get the sense that your system requires a very slow gradual taper, so if it were me, I would stick with the 1.5% taper.  This taper process may take years, but that is much better than going too fast, and crashing your nervous system, which may cause major discomfort, and can also take years to recover from. 

 

Yes, I believe that we are healing while we are still on the meds, as long as we taper no faster than our nervous system is able to adjust.  I notice that as I got lower on the Lexapro, I was gradually able to sleep better.  I suspect a lot of my sleep issues were side effects from the Lexpapro, not all from the withdrawal.  I'm in the 5th year of my taper, but I'm glad I didn't rush it.  

[getofflex]

I just saw this in your sig - "March. 28, 2022 - 13.4mg". 

 

I assume you were planning on doing this reduction in the future?  Please don't do this while you are in a wave.  Your system craves and needs stability right now.  Please read this: 

 

Stability

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @getofflex for your help/advice 

 

while tapering, have you been able to enjoy life? I have the fear and belief that I will suffer the entire tapering process. 
 

Unfortunately I have to cut because of the compounding pharmacy because I have to make decisions in advanced to have the pills like I explained before. Unless I switch to liquid but I’m very nervous 

[getofflex]

On 3/26/2022 at 10:38 AM, Sunflower414 said:

Unless I switch to liquid but I’m very nervous 

If it were me, I would switch to liquid.  Switching to liquid is much less likely to hurt you than tapering too fast.  You can do a gradual switch to the liquid form.  I work with a lot of people, so I don't always remember who is having their drugs compounded.  Thanks for the reminder. 

 

On 3/26/2022 at 10:38 AM, Sunflower414 said:

while tapering, have you been able to enjoy life?

Yes, I have been able to.  Even when I was in the worse of WD, I would just sit on my back porch, and watch the birds outside.  That gave me a small amount of pleasure.  There were days when I felt OK and was able to enjoy a nice meal, or enjoy time with my husband.  I couldn't enjoy life in the way society expects us to, like going out with a bunch of friends, or buying a fancy new car, etc, but I did enjoy it in my own way.  Now, I'm enjoying life more, as my withdrawal has gotten easier.  You will be able to enjoy life during your withdrawal too, most likely.  I remember you saying in the past you've had windows, right?  

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @getofflex yes I have had some decent windows thankfully. 
 

if I switch to liquid, is there a certain way to do it? How do I learn how to measure it accurately? I’m nervous I won’t do it correctly. Can you take 10mg pill and some liquid? Thank you so much 

[getofflex]

Yes, there is.  We call it a crossover.  This link describes how to do it: 

 

Cross Over Tablet to Liquid

 

1 hour ago, Sunflower414 said:

How do I learn how to measure it accurately? I’m nervous I won’t do it correctly. Can you take 10mg pill and some liquid?

It's easy to measure it accurately with a syringe.  I've been doing it for years.  You can get the syringes off amazon. com.

 

 Using an Oral Syringe and Other Tapering Techniques

 

Yes, you can take the 10 mg pill and some liquid, no problem.  

[Sunflower414]

Thank you @getofflex do you think making your own liquid is the same?  Would I get 1ml syringes? How do I know how to Convert this to milligrams? 

[getofflex]

No, it's not the same, because the commercial liquid has preservatives and stabilizers, etc in it.  Homemade liquid will work the same in your body, but it only lasts for a few days in the refrigerator, whereas commercial liquid can last for many months.  If you are on the 13.4 mg, you would probably start with the 3 ml syringe.  

 

To convert it to milligrams, if you use the commercial liquid, please ask your pharmacist how many mg are in a ml of the liquid.  Then, you would have to do some calculations to figure out your dose - we can help you with that.  

 

This link will give you more information about your questions: 

 

Tips for Tapering Paxil

Edited March 27, 2022 by getofflex

[Sunflower414]

@getofflex do you think I’d be better off making my own or getting the script? It’s very expensive. I’ll get it if it’s worth it but like I mentioned a few weeks ago, the bottle said I had to discard it after 30 days so most of it went to waste

 

to save money I was going to do a 10mg tablet plus liquid. I was hoping to try reducing 1% at a time so it would be something like this: 

 

12.87 

12.74

12.61

12.48

12.35
 

would a 3ml syringe be best?

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, Sunflower414 said:

do you think I’d be better off making my own or getting the script?

That's for you to decide.  Read the following links to help you in your decision.  

 

Using an oral syringe and other tapering technique

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

 

1 hour ago, Sunflower414 said:

would a 3ml syringe be best?

Yes.