j1290: gets off the Wellbutrin and on with life!

[SonSetFree]

 

Hey j1290 keep on trucking.  You got

this.  I know this is harder than it looks but you make it look so easy 😉

 

Yeah i haven’t seen a chart for bupropion either. Don’t take this as gospel but I recall noticing before that folks seem to crash around 50-75 mg.  Often times in those instances though they were also taking an SSRI which complicates things.  
 

After reading your thread I’m ready for a vacation.  Good luck on you interview!

 

 

[j1290]

11 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

Don’t take this as gospel but I recall noticing before that folks seem to crash around 50-75 mg.

Good lookin' out.  Its been hard to find a lot of reports about tapering Welly B, so I appreciate hearing what fellow travellers have found.  One plan I was considering was going from 260-190-115-75, if I can tolerate it, then figuring out where I want to go from there.   My rough math says 10% cuts from 75 down to zero = about 2 years of tapering, so I'm going to have to push the envelope to see if I can go faster than that or not.  I'd rather not drag it out LOL

 

Have you heard of any tricks to taper that last bit of Wellbutrin or to make it any easier?  All I know of is to do a liquid taper to get precise measurement of the Instant Release, but no doubt I could use some easier withdrawal if I have to do this for 2 years.  I'm going to have to consider making liquid SR on the offchance it will retain some time release properties and be easier.  From what I read there's differing opinions on how effective that is.  

 

30 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

After reading your thread I’m ready for a vacation.  Good luck on you interview!

LOL I try not to be too much of a downer.  As I read you're on 21mg, so hats off to you, I hope to be there too one day.  Thanks for the well wishes, will let you know how it goes!

[j1290]

DAY 21  3/10 very slight headache, irritability, brainlock, uninhibited speech.   

 

This is 5 days in a row that I haven't had to take any pills for headaches.   That's a trend I hope continues, and my hunch is it will.  I don't know the correct term, but they jumped me on medicine tiers from 75-150-300-450 mg.   My theory is with each tier reached, that my side effects will be noticeably milder.  I'm not a fan of the WD that each cut requires me to endure, but I'm super stoked to be hanging tight at 260mg, and I can't wait to do my next one.  

Just looked at my Effexor taper.  Took me 50+ cuts to finish, and this is #5 on Wellbutrin LOL   If I can get through that, I can get through this one.  It has to be easier than Effexor though, right?   Guess we'll know in a few months!

 

 

[SonSetFree]

4 hours ago, j1290 said:

This is 5 days in a row that I haven't had to take any pills for headaches. 

Wow that’s good news.  
 

The only trick to make things easier I know of is SLOW and STEADY.  Also take care to keep your dose measurements consistent in size each day.  
 

I have found using a Gemini scale and pill cutter works for me (I make my wife’s doses each day, well every other day I make two days worth).  I cut them into 1/8th pie shaped pieces which gets them close to 9 mg and then a trim them down to the precise weight by cutting little pieces off using a pick.  I then weigh all three pieces to make sure my daily is 21.  More important that the daily amount is consistent.  If there is slight variance in each dose it is not as bad.  
 

Its easier doing 2 batches a time but I’ve learned not to try to cut more than 2 days worth in advance because when exposed to

air for a long time moisture can get in and they can lose potency.  It triggered a bad wave for my wife.  
 

Note when making a compound from SR, or grinding down to powder or small pieces it loses all slow release properties. 
 

How late are you taking your night dose now?  How has it helped the mornings?

[j1290]

9 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

More important that the daily amount is consistent.  If there is slight variance in each dose it is not as bad.  

This is an amazing job you're doing!  I did much higher numbers than you are with a scale and even though it was calibrated, it seemed like the weight was never the same twice if I remeasured.  I could never figure it out, but I'm just not good with that stuff.  I never would have thought to do it the way you do.  Incredible. 

 

I've had surprisingly good luck making a liquid from the IR, so when the time comes my plan is to throw a 75mg pill in with 75ml of water in a sealable jar in the fridge, and then use an oral syringe to dose the correct number of mg.  I prefer taking cut pills, to be honest, but the liquid worked for odd numbers like 27mg.  

30 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

but I’ve learned not to try to cut more than 2 days worth in advance because when exposed to

air for a long time moisture can get in and they can lose potency.  It triggered a bad wave for my wife.  

Oh my gosh..this is good to know!   I've been splitting pills in advance for the next week and wondered about exactly this situation.  I'm glad you mentioned it, I am probably better served by splitting only the pills for 2 days just like you.

 

35 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

How late are you taking your night dose now?  How has it helped the mornings?

I take doses at 8:30am(75mg), 2:30pm(75mg), and 8:30pm(~112mg).  I've only done it a day or two so no real trend to notice yet.   My mornings I actually feel great, but my suspicion is that is because I'm in WD, and by 4:30-5:30pm in the evening I've been getting irritable and headache coming on.  I'll keep an eye on it and see if that pattern continues or it's just this part of the WD cycle.  I haven't noticed much difference when I move the dose around, but I figure it's worth a shot.   Maybe now that I'm at a lower dose I can start moving times around to 8 hours between doses again and see if that helps anything.   

 

What are your dosing times?  Has the WD after a cut gotten stronger at the lower doses?  

 

I'm OK now that I took a nap, but earlier this evening I was a grizzly bear and way too irritable to be around anybody.   All part of the fun!!  haha

[SonSetFree]

 

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

I did much higher numbers than you are with a scale and even though it was calibrated, it seemed like the weight was never the same twice if I remeasured.

 

I wouldn't say I'm good at this kind of stuff either but it has been trial by fire.  I know what you mean about the measurement being different each time and it seemed that way at first to me too.  I ended up getting two Gemini scales and I use them both when weighing out dosing. 

 

I calibrate both scales before every use and weigh the dose on both scales to make sure they are the same (or at least within 1 mg of each other).   When weighing them, you have to wait a few seconds for the measurement to stabilize.  Also, wear a facemask when doing it because most of the instability can come from breathing on the scale.  I also keep that little 10g calibration weight on the scale when measuring because that is the range the scale is most accurate (according to the instruction manual). Then about half way through the process I will calibrate them both again.  The thing is, even if you are off by 1 or 2 mg pill weight, that is equivalent to only 1/5th of 1mg of medicine.  You are not going to feel that. 

 

The process above sounds like a lot at the beginning, but overall I only spend about 15 minutes now that I'm practiced up and that takes care of 2 days.  

 

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

My mornings I actually feel great, but my suspicion is that is because I'm in WD, and by 4:30-5:30pm in the evening I've been getting irritable and headache coming on.

 

Hmm, you feel great in the morning and then at 4:30 PM (which is when you are at the peak of your WB 2:30 dose) you start feeling bad.  So it seems that the headaches and irritability are either 1) Simply side effects from taking WB or 2) It is withdrawal that is being aggravated or worsened by the WB spike given IR is more abrupt and harder on the CNS.  I don't know which.  Maybe when you do your next dose reduction, you reduce your 2:30 dose and see how that affects the headaches?

 

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

What are your dosing times?  Has the WD after a cut gotten stronger at the lower doses? 

 

My wife's situation is unique.  She stopped taking two meds, Cymbalta (less than 0.4 mg) and Wellbutrin (75mg) cold turkey.  The withdrawal kicked in and then she reinstated.  First the WB at 22mg split in 3 doses (taken at 6:15 AM, 11:30 AM, 3:30 PM).  Then the Cymbalta at 0.4mg.  She has not really stabilized enough to decide to start tapering off of it.  And she is scared to do anything.  During this process she also managed to get on Remeron which the psych doc added to help her withdrawal insomnia (bad idea).  So we are not sure what her sensitivity is to WB, however we do know she has been sensitive to medicine refills and generic brand switching.  But given what you have shared with me about Avet and the 20% bio equivalency, these drugs may be all over the place and 10% taper may be very manageable for her.  We will find out soon as we are looking to start making a move to get rid of these drugs.

 

13 hours ago, j1290 said:

I'm OK now that I took a nap, but earlier this evening I was a grizzly bear and way too irritable to be around anybody.   All part of the fun!!  haha

 

haha, i'm glad I'm on this side of the cage.  Well, how is your sleep?  WB can be affecting that too and now that you are taking it later, that was my first concern.

[j1290]

25 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

I ended up getting two Gemini scales and I use them both when weighing out dosing. 

Never would have thought to do that.  I actually have some familiarity with using scales to measure small amounts in a hobbyist capacity and at some point to get perfect accuracy at low weight I was told I'd need a scale that was so accurate it would be affected by my breath.  Oh I just read your reply and see that you heard that too!  I never would have thought to use the calibration weight, either.  Go figure.  

 

31 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

Maybe when you do your next dose reduction, you reduce your 2:30 dose and see how that affects the headaches?

Also something I hadn't considered.  Another layer of the onion, I love it!  Maybe I'll move half my afternoon dose to my night dose, and see if that does anything for me?  

But yeah you said it, really the hardest part of this whole taper was figuring out what side effects were caused by changing the time release version of the pills, what was caused by the different manufacturer, what was due to timing of dose, and what was WD.  Bupropion is super tricky in this way, trying to find the correct balance.  

 

You're really good at this!  Appreciate your advice!

 

50 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

My wife's situation is unique.

The more I read people's stories, the more I realize how unique each of our medical histories are and appreciate how tricky it is for us to find our way off these pills.  

 

52 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

And she is scared to do anything.

I hear that.  After spending 12 months unstable before reinstating, I was out of my mind with fear and worry and risk adverse.  

1 hour ago, SonSetFree said:

however we do know she has been sensitive to medicine refills and generic brand switching

I had no clue until 6 months ago.  Never even thought to look.  Just did a quick search and found a Science magazine article:  the Generic Wellbutrin Problem and here's a link to a website with more citations and anecdotes that mirror my own.   

 

1 hour ago, SonSetFree said:

these drugs may be all over the place and 10% taper may be very manageable for her. 

This was my conclusion.  I found a generic that I could get a steady supply of that made me feel the least-worst and began tapering.  I certainly feel much better at WD Normal now than when I started this taper, so I think it's working.   

 

2 hours ago, SonSetFree said:

haha, i'm glad I'm on this side of the cage.  Well, how is your sleep?  WB can be affecting that too and now that you are taking it later, that was my first concern.

LOL  I will not miss the irritability one bit.   I don't think anybody else will, either, for that matter heh.   Best I can tell the sleep is about the same.  Come think of it, I'm going to be doing another cut to 2.5 pills in the next week or so.   I'll take a full pill morning and evening and the half pill in the middle of the day and see how that goes.   I feel like a scientist LOL

 

Appreciate your help!

[littlebird]

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

Just did a quick search and found a Science magazine article:  the Generic Wellbutrin Problem and here's a link to a website with more citations and anecdotes that mirror my own.

This has got me wondering. My Wellbutrin has come in different sizes and shapes, so I assume different makers, and I definitely notice a difference in how I feel when the maker changes. I tried alternating once, one day new, one day old, to try and integrate it in… I think it helped? Would be nice to have some steadiness from refill to refill!

[Thorin]

On 7/21/2022 at 8:24 AM, j1290 said:

Really glad I thought to sign in today.   Been on the name brands for 2 weeks so far and I'm not sure how much improvement there has been.  Possibly something?  I'm taking a 300 and a 150 mg XL pill, and started taking the 150  an hour and a half after the 300 to see how that goes.   Been doing that for a few days now and no clear results, as I came down with Covid and don't know what symptoms are due to what.   I'm still having bad headaches and weird head sensations, but I think its a little better in the morning than it is in the evening.   Just to be safe I'm going to stick with 90 minutes between pills for  a week to see if anything goes sideways.    

 

Sorry to hear about the Covid mate. It’s doing the rounds again here too. Are the head sensations a side effect of the med or a symptom of withdrawal? I’ve had them as a withdrawal symptom in the past. Not pleasant! Not noticing any changes with the change of brand? I was on paroxetine when I was a teenager and moved from Australia to England when I was 20. It was a different brand in England. I now realise I was in pretty bad withdrawals from the brand change (thought it was my poor mental health at the time). It messed with me pretty badly for a while, then someone put me on Effexor and I stabilised. I think you’d be noticing it by now if there were going to be any I’ll effects though…. Hope all is well in San Diego!

[j1290]

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

Sorry to hear about the Covid mate.

Thanks man!  That was actually an old post, so luckily I'm healthy as a horse right now 😷  Back then I had just reinstated and got my hands on some brand name Wellbutrin samples from my psych doctor.  Brandname costs something around $1,000 US/month vs like $50 for generics, so basically insurance never wants to pay for it.   

 

Switching it up on the generics is always a crapshoot for sure!

[j1290]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Would be nice to have some steadiness from refill to refill!

I found a pharmacy that lets me select the manufacturer so I pay out of pocket.   It's cheap enough, around $50 a refill that lasts for a few months so not much more than my insurance copay.   Not ideal but good enough for now.   Those switches to different brands are a rough ride!

[Thorin]

16 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Thanks man!  That was actually an old post, so luckily I'm healthy as a horse right now 😷  Back then I had just reinstated and got my hands on some brand name Wellbutrin samples from my psych doctor.  Brandname costs something around $1,000 US/month vs like $50 for generics, so basically insurance never wants to pay for it.   

 

Switching it up on the generics is always a crapshoot for sure!

Oh wow I didn’t see that was an old post. Must’ve missed what page of your thread I was on…… well, I’m glad you don’t have Covid lol. Man we hear how expensive medical treatment is in America. It’s insane. $1000 a month for a medication! I just bought a month’s worth of 80mg tablets of my med (I’m taking 14mg so this will last a while) and it was $30. It will cost me $1 a capsule when I have it compounded into 14mg capsules so $365/year. And getting a prescription with 6 repeats cost me $20.10 and an email to my doctor asking for it.

[j1290]

DAY 22     🤬🤬🤬  I'mma grouch but better I keep it to myself.  Symptoms are 3/10 brain lock, pressure, stupor, irritability, emotional, out of sorts.   One of those days where I'm hard to even be around myself 😆  Went to therapy, did great work with EMDR, uncomfortable as always but unusually rewarding, for whatever reason.   Went for a walk with a work friend, which was really nice to get some fresh air.   Funny, when the physical part of the taper is over I'm relieved not to have headaches, then when the emotional part hits I wish I had the headaches back haha  

 

That said, no pills for the headaches today, so that's a massive improvement.  I'm keeping my eye on the prize, if I can pull it off, after 2 more cuts I'll be below a theraputic dose, and hopefully my side effects will be minimal.  They'll certainly be less.  

5 minutes ago, Thorin said:

well, I’m glad you don’t have Covid lol.

haha thanks man, me too!!  I have to get tested weekly for work and we wear masks indoors now.  Evidently it's gone a bit crazy here lately.  Things are coming back in your neck of the woods as well?   I still had to work remotely when I was sick with covid, no rest for the weary!  That used to be like  a 2 week vacation!!  haha not for me it wasn't. 

[Thorin]

6 minutes ago, j1290 said:

aha thanks man, me too!!  I have to get tested weekly for work and

I had a stage where I had to do this too. Things have style down in Australia since then in terms of restrictions and Covid requirements.

7 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Evidently it's gone a bit crazy here lately.  Things are coming back in your neck of the woods as well? 

Yeah things are ramping up here again too.

 

8 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I still had to work remotely when I was sick with covid, no rest for the weary!  That used to be like  a 2 week vacation!!  haha not for me it wasn't. 

That’s ridiculous! If you’re sick you’re sick. If you weren’t particularly symptomatic I guess it’s ok…… 

 

sorry you struggled today too dude. You’re dose is getting lower. You’re getting there!

[j1290]

16 minutes ago, Thorin said:

sorry you struggled today too dude. You’re dose is getting lower. You’re getting there!

Thanks man...getting sooooooo close to taking a much needed rest from tapering.  A month or so from now you won't hear a peep out of me because I'll be malingering in the shadier parts of town 😆😏😉  Gotta have something to look forward to!😂😂

[Thorin]

2 minutes ago, j1290 said:

A month or so from now you won't hear a peep out of me because I'll be malingering in the shadier parts of town 😆😏😉  Gotta have something to look forward to!😂😂

Haha! Historically this has been my favourite thing to do! Look forward to hearing some stories! I imagine it’s be nice to have a bit of a break from WD symptoms as well.

[FireflyFyte]

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

This has got me wondering. My Wellbutrin has come in different sizes and shapes, so I assume different makers, and I definitely notice a difference in how I feel when the maker changes. I tried alternating once, one day new, one day old, to try and integrate it in… I think it helped? Would be nice to have some steadiness from refill to refill!

 

Not sure if this is an option for you or not littlebird but my psychiatrist was able to put a request through to my pharmacy for a specific manufacturer of my Wellbutrin as I responded negatively to one of them. From then forward, I only got pills from one manufacturer.

 

5 hours ago, j1290 said:

Thanks man...getting sooooooo close to taking a much needed rest from tapering.  A month or so from now you won't hear a peep out of me because I'll be malingering in the shadier parts of town 😆😏😉  Gotta have something to look forward to!😂😂

 

But this is the stuff I want to hear about 😂

[j1290]

7 hours ago, Thorin said:

Haha! Historically this has been my favourite thing to do!

Possibly not co-incidentally, I've met many an Aussie in those sorts of places!  😂😂😂  But that's another story for another time.  

7 hours ago, Thorin said:

I imagine it’s be nice to have a bit of a break from WD symptoms as well.

I'm no tough guy, although I play one in my own mind.  😎  I've been unstable and riding the crazy 🚂 for a long time by my standards.  I can use some extra time just feeling normal-ish.  Whenever I get there LOL

 

2 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

But this is the stuff I want to hear about 😂

aaahahaha!!!!  😇😇

[SonSetFree]

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

Maybe I'll move half my afternoon dose to my night dose, and see if that does anything for me?

 

For my wife, we had to move the mid day dose to an hour later and it made a difference.  You could try that and see if your symptoms move out to later than 4:30 or go away completely.

[j1290]

5 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

For my wife, we had to move the mid day dose to an hour later and it made a difference.  You could try that and see if your symptoms move out to later than 4:30 or go away completely.

You're good at this.   Brilliant idea.  I never thought to adjust my dose times so precisely.  I accidently took the wrong dose last night so I threw everything off.  My next cut I'm doing a long hold, so I will definitely use this idea to really dial it in.  Appreciate it!!

[Soup]

@j1290couid I please ask what times do you take your Wellbutrin doses ? I am going to be transitioning over to immediate release 3 times a day from xl once a day . I was thinking 6am , 2 pm , 10 pm to get the 24 hour cycle covered . 
thank you for your time 

[j1290]

@Soup  Hi Soup!   I take it at 8:30am, 2:30pm, and 8:30pm.   I like your idea about every 8 hours starting at 6am.   I used to take it every 8 hours and it was inconvenient, so this is what I wound up with.   Because I've had intense side effects of the meds, I never adjusted the times to try and tweak anything.  I might try next month though when I do an extended hold.  

 

I hope it's easier for you since you're on a much lower dose than I was.   Things are easing up a little for me but I'm still at almost double what you're taking.   

 

Please let us know how it goes and keep us posted! 

 

 

[j1290]

DAY 23  3/10 weird day.  Took my last dose in my car last night because I was at my therapists and because I didn't have my WD Checklist, I forgot that my evening dose was supposed to have an extra 1/2 pill.  I think that's the first time I've messed up in 5 months, which is pretty good considering.  

 

Today I went to the mall and had cognitive and emotional oddities.  Tried to look normal at the food court eating my burrito while my brain was getting sucked into a black hole.  Glamorous!   

 

Irritable and short tempered internally due to side effects.  If I start my next cut on Saturday, it'll time out so the worst days are on my days off or when I work alone, and I actually should feel really good for the first few days when I'll be seeing people again at work.   Then I can take an extra long break and I should feel somewhere approaching OK for the first time in a very long time.   Tempting!  We'll see how I feel.  

 

Have my secret job interview tomorrow.  I'm going to try to get extra rest tonight and hope my attitude improves.   

[SonSetFree]

10 hours ago, j1290 said:

I accidently took the wrong dose last night so I threw everything off.  My next cut I'm doing a long hold, so I will definitely use this idea to really dial it in. 

It happens…don’t sweat it too much.  Just pick back up where you left off.  👊 

 

[j1290]

8 minutes ago, SonSetFree said:

It happens…don’t sweat it too much.  Just pick back up where you left off.  👊 

Thanks man! 👊  

 

This tapering business is not so simple.  

[littlebird]

46 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Have my secret job interview tomorrow.  I'm going to try to get extra rest tonight and hope my attitude improves.

Congratulations on that, hope you get good sleep and it goes well. Cheering you on (secretly) for secret interview! You’ve got this.

[FireflyFyte]

11 hours ago, j1290 said:

Have my secret job interview tomorrow.  I'm going to try to get extra rest tonight and hope my attitude improves.   

 

Hope you slept well and slayed the secret interview!

[j1290]

DAY 24  Ooof.  Everything is fine, but had a family medical emergency last night that kept me up very late.  Still nailed the interview, if I do say so myself.   I advanced to the next round, so that's all I can ask for.  Today is a 3/10, head pressure/dizziness/heavy head/nervous/burning scalp and slight headache, emotional, but other than that, fantastic!  😄  Lots of question marks in the next week concerning family/job/secret job stuff, I'll consider tomorrow if I want to cut or not.  I'm afraid if I put it off a week, then it'll get postponed indefinitely as work/secret job stuff piles up.   Just a thought.  Figure it out tomorrow.  

 

11 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

 

Hope you slept well and slayed the secret interview!

I did slay, if I say so myself!  Very few ums and ohs, not super nervous, mostly correct answers to the questions, all things considered, it went great.   

 

22 hours ago, littlebird said:

Cheering you on (secretly) for secret interview! You’ve got this.

Woot woot!  Went great, littlebird!  I was impressed with my performance.   Video meeting for an hour with like 7 people on it.  They were very nice but the questions were indeed looking for chinks in my armor.   On to round 2!

[Thorin]

31 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Everything is fine, but had a family medical emergency last night that kept me up very late. 

So to hear that mate. Nothing worse!

32 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Still nailed the interview, if I do say so myself.

Well done! Knew you’d smash it!

33 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I did slay, if I say so myself!  Very few ums and ohs, not super nervous, mostly correct answers to the questions, all things considered, it went great. 

That’s awesome mate. Stuff like this reminds us of what we’re capable of, even in times of difficulty! Well done!

34 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Video meeting for an hour with like 7 people on it.  They were very nice but the questions were indeed looking for chinks in my armor.   On to round 2!

How many rounds? Seven person panel sounds intimidating. Well done again!

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

I did slay, if I say so myself!  Very few ums and ohs, not super nervous, mostly correct answers to the questions, all things considered, it went great.   

Yessss, so glad to hear it went well (and that you’re giving yourself credit for doing well). This is great news!

 

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

I was impressed with my performance.   Video meeting for an hour with like 7 people on it.  They were very nice but the questions were indeed looking for chinks in my armor.   On to round 2!

On to the next round? You won today! That sounds like an intense one, you ran a gauntlet today.

 

So sorry to hear about the family emergency! Hoping it’s calmed, and you’re able to celebrate your win tonight and kick back big time. Well done!!!

[j1290]

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

So to hear that mate. Nothing worse!

Thanks man.  I got through but emotional.  

 

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

Well done! Knew you’d smash it!

Appreciate the support!  I'm glad I kept the interview.  It was an impressive group that was well prepared and professional, very good company.  

 

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

That’s awesome mate. Stuff like this reminds us of what we’re capable of, even in times of difficulty! Well done!

I rose to the occasion.   After the long night I was partially too tired to be super nervous.  Question for you since I know you take benzos.  Do you ever take those specifically for anxiety anymore, or is it just a daily routine?  I considered taking one today, I could justify it, and decided against it.  Figured it would take away all the aches and pains and I'd just want another one.   

 

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

How many rounds? Seven person panel sounds intimidating. Well done again!

Brilliant bunch.  Feel smarter just being around them.  Friendly, but certainly fair questions probing for honesty on my resume.  I have an online test, then a couple local interviews, then fly out to another city for more tests and interviews, then wait for 6 months to see if you made the cut.   It's a year+ long process, I applied in June '22.   It's a little like applying to medschool.  

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Yessss, so glad to hear it went well (and that you’re giving yourself credit for doing well). This is great news!

Appreciate it, Littlebird!  I did do well.  Luckily I've had enough coaching/therapy/whatever to get a little closer to dropping the self deprecating cringe LOLOL  On a good day at least.  Like my grandmother used to tell me as a boy, the sun shines on a dogs ass at least once a day.   

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

So sorry to hear about the family emergency! Hoping it’s calmed, and you’re able to celebrate your win tonight and kick back big time. Well done!!!

Thanks, it's all fine now.  Really glad I talked to my coach today and he gave me some good advice.  You're absolutely right, gotta take the W and celebrate it!  Maybe I'll take myself out to dinner tomorrow....great idea!

[RachelSusan]

20 hours ago, j1290 said:

I'll consider tomorrow if I want to cut or not.

Well is it tomorrow yet?  Did you cut or not? It's sort of a cliff hanger you know.

 

Congrats on your interview. We all knew that you would kill it though, before you even had the interview.

 

Hope the family emergency wasn't too brutal.

[Thorin]

17 hours ago, j1290 said:

Question for you since I know you take benzos.  Do you ever take those specifically for anxiety anymore, or is it just a daily routine? 

It’s just a daily routine to stop the withdrawals now. I don’t believe it does anything for my anxiety. It’s such a low dose now.

 

17 hours ago, j1290 said:

I considered taking one today, I could justify it, and decided against it.

I would be more careful with this medication than any other psych med. much harder to get off a lot of the time. Side effects from continued long term use are dementia like. Once I’m off I will never touch it again.

[j1290]

DAY 25  Super boring 2/10.  Matches last months day 25, which is about as good as it gets.  All symptoms are really slight.  Maybe I'll taper tomorrow or give it a few days or a week, we'll see how it goes.   Honestly I could use a break to recharge my batteries a little.  According to my records by day 28 or so I should defo be back to WD Normal.   Just did a deep dive into Reddit forums to see when people start to hit the wall with tapering Bupropion and got another confirm at around 50mg, so I have a long way to go before I'm there.   

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

Well is it tomorrow yet?  Did you cut or not? It's sort of a cliff hanger you know.

Heyyyyyy RachelSusan!!   Nah, no cut today.  Not sure what the best move is so when in doubt, do nothing.   We'll see how I feel tomorrow.   I know another week doesn't really matter in the big picture, but I'm just a few cuts away from getting down to a more tolerable level so I'm impatient. 

 

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

Congrats on your interview. We all knew that you would kill it though, before you even had the interview.

Thank you!  I think the taper definitely helped, one of the reasons I'd like to get another cut in before I go further in the process.  

 

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

Hope the family emergency wasn't too brutal.

Appreciate that.  It was a bumpy ride but things have stabilized, so all things considered I can't complain.   

 

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

I would be more careful with this medication than any other psych med.

Definitely.  I know this stuff is playing with fire.  

[j1290]

DAY 26    3/10 Irritable big time and a head spike, and anxious all day.  I have stresses for valid reasons, this WD kicks it up a notch or 3.  They tell you to give Bup 6 weeks to adjust to it.  I thought all this time that meant the side effects went away.   What I suspect now is that I became used to the side effects and no longer noticed how much they affected me, to a smaller or larger degree.   Anyway.  @SonSetFree suggested changing the time of my second dose to see if it made any difference in my afternoon head stuff.  I haven't been super great at keeping records, but I adjusted by an hour and didn't seem to get it today.  Pretty cool if that fixed it.   Grrr I'm a bear I'm going back in my cave 🐻

[littlebird]

9 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Grrr I'm a bear I'm going back in my cave 🐻

I’ve felt like a bear in or out of my cave all weekend! Great description. Hopefully we can roar into Monday full strength!