Ninabird: Effexor withdrawal?

[Bestill]

I personally cannot do a drop every week.  It was too much for my system and went through all the things you are mentioning.  I may do like a 3% drop and hold for two weeks and then another 3% and continue with longer holds sometimes.  Or I will do two drops that will add up to a 5% reduction with a 2 week hold.  I am still making about an 8-10% reduction every 6 weeks and had to do a longer hold during spring because the change in season was a shock to my system and said no thank you.  
 

I would maybe hold this last drop until you are feeling better and then drop another 2.5% and go from there.  Some people have to do less.  At first I was bummed that I couldn’t keep up with the brass monkey method but I focus that I am still taking some away and getting close to 0.

[Bestill]

Also, I promise you, it gets better.  It won’t be hell the whole time.  I totally thought this for the first 8 weeks which made me want to just cold turkey l, but I didn’t.  Each month is better than the previous.  Maybe not by a huge amount but better.  

[Ninabird]

@Greatful

Thank you so much. I don't know why the last few days have been such a struggle. 

 

I wrote down the mantra you suggested and put it on my computer. 

 

How are you doing?

[Ninabird]

Good morning everyone! I thought  I would pass along something very sweet that happened to me.

I was in the grocery store when a little girl approached me with a rose and a note. The note read, "you are beautiful. You matter. You are loved." Her parents decided to hand out the roses because they saw so many people hurting and wanted to make a difference. They sure did. What difference can you make in someones life? WD or not, we still need to spread love and kindness....Big hugs to you all. 

[Ariel]

@Ninabird

What a lovely story! Thank you so much for sharing. You have given us each a rose and a note <3

Thank you for spreading love and kindness.

I am following along from the sidelines as you navigate your taper. You are very brave! 

I am rooting for you <3

[Ninabird]

@Ariel

Thank you for your kind words. How are you doing?I love reading your words of cheer and support on this site. You are a wonderful person. How are you dealing with the oppressive heat?

Thinking of you,NB

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

What a wonderful story. And just when you needed it the most.❤️

[Ninabird]

Good afternoon everyone!

My Psychiatric Nurse practitioner sent me this the other day and I wanted to share with you all. I absolutely love my PNP. I really hit the jackpot with this one.

 

 

LIFE IS AMAZING

 

And then it is awful & then it's amazing again. 

And in between the amazing & awful it's ordinary and mundane & Routine. 

Breathe through the awful & relax & exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.

AND IT'S BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL!

- LR KNOST

 

My prayer for you all today is you find joy in the day regardless of what is happening. This life IS indeed beautiful. 

[rmce72a]

I am having such a terribly difficult day today in my taper from 75mg Effexor XR. Only 9 weeks in and must hold at 73 because of all the symptoms. Must be a wave. This is one of those days that make me wonder if I will ever heal since I am tapering after 21 years on Effexor that had pooped out 2 years ago before I realized what it was. I am 75 years old and I don't have years and years to recover. I was hoping to spend my last years more peacefully. Oh well. As my therapist says, we either get on with the business of living or otherwise we are dying. I choose living. Thank you for this uplifting post. Take care and be well, my dear.

[Chlo]

2 minutes ago, rmce72a said:

I am having such a terribly difficult day today in my taper from 75mg Effexor XR. Only 9 weeks in and must hold at 73 because of all the symptoms. Must be a wave. This is one of those days that make me wonder if I will ever heal since I am tapering after 21 years on Effexor that had pooped out 2 years ago before I realized what it was. I am 75 years old and I don't have years and years to recover. I was hoping to spend my last years more peacefully. Oh well. As my therapist says, we either get on with the business of living or otherwise we are dying. I choose living. Thank you for this uplifting post. Take care and be well, my dear.

Hello sweetheart! @rmce72a

I too, have been on antidepressant for the past 22 years (Celexa). I also had a "poop out," since I got covid last year. I felt the drug losing its effect within 2-3 months before I got covid, then BAM it totally stopped when covid hit and that's when things started spiraling out of control, I developed Parosmia from the covid, and the my np tried me on a few other ad's which caused a kindling effect, now on Escitalopram with an adverse reaction,  but have to slowly taper. Along with all this, I lost my husband in February, and then my son moved out this pass month. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, IM LIVING LIFE ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN. 

I can tell you that is does get easier the lower you go. I started at 5mg and am currently at 2.5mg. But I could not have done it or gotten this far without the Lord and all of the SA members and mods. 

I want you to know that you are doing great and you WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Leaving you this here to ponder on 🤍 HUGS!!

 

“If things stay the way they are today…” “If I’m always going to feel this lonely, this sad, this empty, this hopeless… ….then I might as well give up.”

The question we are desperate to have answered when struggling through depression or thoughts of giving up is, “when will this end?” Will it always be this way? First, if you feel like giving up, we want you to know you’re not crazy or a bad Christian. Every person on Earth seeks to find a release from the pain, because of the simple fact that it hurts. No one wants to keep hurting indefinitely.

In each of those statements you read, it starts with a conditional statement (If ___, then ___.)

But…

What if that’s not the way things are always going to be? What if one day soon all the pain you’re feeling will have a purpose? What if a year from now, two years from now, you’re at the best place you’ve ever been? What if you stick this through and your dreams come to life? What if things don’t always stay this bad?

Every day may seem like you’re walking through fire, stuck in a storm, or drowning in the ocean. God reminds us that when these things happen “you won’t be burned” by the fire and you won’t be “overwhelmed” by the weight of the rivers bearing down on you. It’s not an “if this happens” statement in the Scriptures, but a when.

The thing about a fire is that it will burn out. A storm will always pass, and a river always finds a shore. You may see nothing but the fire, but God is with you in the midst of it. You may only see the storm that’s been raging indefinitely—it feels like maybe this is all there is and all there’ll ever be.

But what you’ve forgotten is that behind the biggest cloud, the wildest storm, the darkest day is a blue sky.

For a season, you might be in the middle of this storm, but it will pass. Zoom out from your life, see the blue skies, and remember that it’s coming. Set your focus on the clear days to come. Remind yourself you haven’t been abandoned in the storm.

GOD IS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU 🌻 He promises.

[rmce72a]

Oh, Chlo my dear. How much I needed these reminders today. Thank you so much. Here you are dealing with your husband's death, your son's move, and your withdrawal on top of health issues with Covid, and you are still able to send such lovely words of encouragement to someone you don't even know. Bless you.

 

I believe that these things happen to us for reasons, even if we can never understand why. I agree with Mother Theresa when she said something like "God never gives us more than we can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I have had some challenges in life, like everyone else, but I have also been incredibly blessed. I try hard not to wallow in self-pity because so many people in the world are dealing with situations that are much worse. I think perhaps God sent you to me today as a reminder that He is right here with me, and I am not alone, and I am thankful for that.

 

How are you progressing? Has your taper gone well? Are you feeling ok? I hope so and am praying for you. Please feel free to communicate with at any time. This forum has become my lifeline and I visit several times a day. Again, thank you for your great kindness and encouragement. Take care.   Rebecca

 

 

[Chlo]

24 minutes ago, rmce72a said:

Oh, Chlo my dear. How much I needed these reminders today. Thank you so much. Here you are dealing with your husband's death, your son's move, and your withdrawal on top of health issues with Covid, and you are still able to send such lovely words of encouragement to someone you don't even know. Bless you.

 

I believe that these things happen to us for reasons, even if we can never understand why. I agree with Mother Theresa when she said something like "God never gives us more than we can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I have had some challenges in life, like everyone else, but I have also been incredibly blessed. I try hard not to wallow in self-pity because so many people in the world are dealing with situations that are much worse. I think perhaps God sent you to me today as a reminder that He is right here with me, and I am not alone, and I am thankful for that.

 

How are you progressing? Has your taper gone well? Are you feeling ok? I hope so and am praying for you. Please feel free to communicate with at any time. This forum has become my lifeline and I visit several times a day. Again, thank you for your great kindness and encouragement. Take care.   Rebecca

 

 

I know we've never met, but I love you, and when your in the thick of it, please know that I will be here on the sidelines cheering you on. 

 

It's hard not to wallow in self pity because we are hurting so badly mentally and physically. Mine has been mentally mostly unless we can count my hearts pain. It's debilitating, but if we just take it hour by hour, day by day, the Lord will see us through. 

 

I have cried out so many times to God...why has he stripped me of so much.... my daddy, my husband, my furr baby, and now my son moving out. His answer was: my power works best in your weakness.

Since February I have never been able to stay home by myself, too many memories and too much pain in my home. Now, this past Monday, I have covid again (exactly a year later 🤔)

Well guess what? God is saying to me...the comfort and strength that I need is in him alone. I have been trying to receive it from everyone else, I just need to trust him and he will provide all that I need. So I am going on my 4th day being home by myself because I don't want to give any of my family covid. So once again I have to lean on the Lord fully.

And guess what? I am doing it with his help! 

 

My taper has definitely had some bumps in the road, no doubt, but that's to be expected. I've whined from time to time about it to the forum, and they have helped me push through and ride it out. It seems the lower you get on dosage, the wd symptoms ease up. It will be a year this August and I'm half way through. But I have had some set backs and needed to hold for longer periods. 

I'm trying to get through this covid before resuming my taper. 

Take care 🌻 Hugs!

Thank you for your prayers!

[Ninabird]

@rmce72a

Hi there! Welcome to SA. Sorry you came this way via WD. This process is far from easy but know you have a lot of good people here to reach out to. 
Bug hugs,

Ninabird

[Ninabird]

Yesterday and today have been rough. Today is the 6th day after my last drop. I feel more mental symptoms than physical. I feel sad, anxiety, pain in my head, fear. The worst is the fleeting feelings of going mad. I understand the brain is going through a lot. Changes are being made. I was out in the heat for two hours today and I’m sure that didn’t help. 
I read where some say decreasing gets easier as time passes. I’m holding on to hope that this is true. 
mum still thankful that I can work. Incredibly thankful that I have a home office. I can take breaks unnoticed if I have to cry or distract myself w something other than work. 
 

I sure could use some encouraging words. 
 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

What you are feeling is very normal wd symptoms. Your emotions are starting to come out instead of the Lexapro numbing them.

 

If you need to cry, cry. You'll feel better and then can go about your day.

 

Watch the heat and make sure you hydrate. 

 

Pat yourself on the back for continuing this path. You're doing great!

 

Frogie

[Ninabird]

@Frogie

It's normal WD to feel like you are going coo-coo? It feels so bizarre. I only feel that way in teenie spurts. That's the symptom that freaks me out a bit. 

I am still working, eating, sleeping, occasionally still able to be my goofy self. Yesterday....man, Frogie my head felt awful. Random brain pain. It eventually went away. 

This morning I had to door drop open house fliers and it was pretty hot out already. I can't believe how the heat affects me now and not at all in a good way.

 

How are you doing? How are the beautiful mountains of Colorado?

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

It is all normal wd symptoms. And I bet "normal" people that have never been on these medications sometimes feel the exact same way.  

 

I don't know how the Colorado mountains are, I haven't been up all year and only live about an hour from Estes Park, if you know that. It's a little tourist town. But fun. I'd love to go, but just don't have time lol...

 

 Where I live today it is 99 and we are under a heat advisory,101 tomorrow. Be careful in the heat, drink lots of water and try to get shade/ac as much as possible.

 

I had a therapist tell me just tell yourself, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one second at a time. You've got this.

Edited July 22, 2022 by Frogie

[Ninabird]

16 minutes ago, Frogie said:

It is all normal wd symptoms. And I bet "normal" people that have never been on these medications sometimes feel the exact same way.

Thank you Frogie.....truly. 

 

When I lived in Ne I always wanted to drive to Colorado. It looks so beautiful. I live in Northern Ca and I get up to Lake Tahoe as much as I can through the Spring til late fall. I am not a fan of snow. 

[Moonpie]

@Ninabird I am so sorry you are hitting these rough waters.   You are truly doing amazing even though it doesn't feel like it. 

 

Yes the heat is a BIG factor, even before I got Covid I noticed being out in it a little bit triggered anxiety and symptoms. 

 

I know as I have been going through the years of tapering I still have to stop myself from expecting everything to be like it was. 

 

@Frogie brought up something very important.  I noticed as I went off AD, some of my symptoms and anxiety was the years of numbness being stripped away and me feeling real feelings.  Even unresolved grief I never thought about.  It is very uncomfortable but it made me realize I actually had emotions again and had not realized how much I had not had them.   I just let them come.  Crying can be so releasing. 

I love what @brassmonkey said,  crazy people don't realize they are going crazy.  I have had that feeling before I it is just supercharged anxiety.  Hang in there!  Love you!

[Ninabird]

@Moonpie

 

Thank you sweet moon pie. You are such a wonderful friend. Praying for you! 

[rmce72a]

Hi Nina,

I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Being out in the heat no doubt has contributed to this. You are not going crazy even though I know it feels that way some days. I know that reaching out to the wonderful folks on this site helps me so much in my lowest moments. Feel our encouraging hugs and prayers for relief for you. Take care, dear.

[Ninabird]

Hi everyone. 🙂

The last two 1/2 days have been pretty difficult. I had two days of pretty intense sadness and anxiety. This morning the anxiety is reigning supreme. My head is tingiling and am feeling intermittent head pain. My arms are burning. My eyes feel dry and heavy. 
I had a pretty good day on Sunday. Now I’m back in my wave. I’ve only gotten to 3 drops and I’m having to hold. I talk to my PNP on Thursday. I’m trying to figure out if this is my WD normal or not. If it is then I’ll do my fourth drop on Monday. 
I’ll be very honest. I’m scared to drop again. I read how some on here are absolutely miserable and unable to function and I always wonder if this next drop I’ll spiral too. I don’t want to think like that. I want to keep pushing forward. Some days are just so damn hard. 
I made the mistake and asked someone does it get easier as you go along and they flatly said no, it gets harder. It crushed me. 
I tell myself daily that I’ll get through this. It may take a while but I will. Everyone is different. To not compare myself to anyone else. 
Time to put my big girl pants on and get to work. 
Love to you all. 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

Those are all normal signs of wd and tapering too fast. I would hold for a few days and see how you feel before you taper anymore.

 

But take a deep breath and know that you are going to be ok. You are functioning and that takes great effort😊

[Ninabird]

22 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

Those are all normal signs of wd and tapering too fast. I would hold for a few days and see how you feel before you taper

Will this feeling ease up? 🙏🏻It’s been over 10 days since my last drop. Maybe I can’t do the full 2.5% drop? Maybe I need to try 2%?

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

It might take your system a little more time to ease up on symptoms as everyone is different.

 

You could try 2% and see if you get along better with that taper, but hold off a few more days until you settle.

[Ninabird]

@Frogie

ill definitely hold until I feel better. I’m just really surprised at how bad I’m feeling today. I ate terrible yesterday. I had a slice of birthday ice cream cake and two big cookies and a handful of lemon heads. I’m sure that didn’t help at all. 
 

Thank you Frogie for your kindness and support. You are wonderful. 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

The sugar may not have helped either. I know I don't do well when I eat a lot of sugar.

 

I think holding like you said is a smart thing to do.

 

You are welcome.

[Ninabird]

On 7/4/2022 at 9:02 AM, PsychologicalSafe15 said:

are you having vivid dreams ad well ??

I did months ago and I would wake up thinking...."What in the HECK????!!!!"

[Ninabird]

@Frogie @Greatful

 

I have  suspected for several months that my .50mg of Klonopin was no longer working and I was in Tolerance, My PNP and I had a very long talk and I decided to go up .25mg. This was not an easy choice. I never wanted to be on a bento in the first place but at the time I was in crisis and the bento helped stabilize me.

 

After being on the .75mg for a full 24 hours now I am feeling a little more spacey, more emotional and still am having anxiety. I know the increase was NOT going to remove my wd symptoms it was increased to relieve the tolerance symptoms. 

 

Y'all I don't so much as take an aspirin out of fear of making my situation worse. I have pushed through some very gnarly days so I can still earn a living. I am really beating myself up over the increase. I feel like I have failed by increasing but I knew that the tolerance symptoms would just keep getting more intense as time went on (as they were doing so) I have such a long way to go on this taper. I am so tired of looking into the mirror and seeing the extra 30lbs on me, my once pretty hazel eyes all red and glossy and my world turned on it's axis. I long for peace. I long for just moments of clarity. I miss ME. 

 

Well, enough blubbering. I have to get back to work. I pray for everyone on this site daily. Stay strong. Keep your eyes forward and NEVER give up.

[Greatful]

@Ninabird  I am not a expert on benzo tolerance, I'll leave that one up to Frogie. How did you come to the conclusion that you were in Benzo tolerance? Do you feel better with the increase?

  Please do not beat yourself up for doing what you need to do to get through this. 

 

When you look in the mirror, look past the tired fatigued woman and see the woman you really are.  Your inner true self.  Remind her that you love her and you are doing the best that you can.  Remember she is with you always.♥️  Give yourself a big hug and admiration for working  through all this. 🤗

 

I too long for peace and calm.  I also have a few drugs to get off of 😒 

We will be walking this journey together.🌞

 

I have been reading success stories on here and on

Baylissa's website   https://mccare.org/user-guide/

[Ninabird]

7 minutes ago, Greatful said:

am not a expert on benzo tolerance, I'll leave that one up to Frogie. How did you come to the conclusion that you were in Benzo tolerance? Do you feel better with the increase?

The tolerance feel MUCH more intense than the WD. The intensity would start a few hours from my next scheduled dose. The intensity had been increasing for months. 

[Ninabird]

9 minutes ago, Greatful said:

 

We will be walking this journey together

I don’t know why I am so emotional today. I’m proud to be walking this journey alongside you. 

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

Just like @Greatful said don't beat yourself up. You did what you needed to do and we can address the benzo when we you ready to taper off.

 

I don't know if you were in tolerance per se, your body gets used to a benzo and then craves more and more. So that's why you end up taking more than you wanted to.

 

That's exactly what happened to me with Xanax. And at the end I was on 4 mg a day, which is equal to 80 mg of Valium and I was also on 40 mg of Valium. So see you are not the only one.

 

Klonopin can cause depression, just so you are aware, that is one side effect of a benzo. But your body should get used to it pretty quickly.

 

 

[Ninabird]

19 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I don't know if you were in tolerance per se, your body gets used to a benzo and then craves more and more. So that's why you end up taking more than you wanted to.

 

So, what happens if you don't go up in dose? Doesn't the intensity get worse?

[Ninabird]

20 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Klonopin can cause depression, just so you are aware, that is one side effect of a benzo. But your body should get used to it pretty quickly.

I had always suspected that the bento caused depression. You stated that your body gets up to// The depression?

 

I don't think my body liked the extra .25mg. I was sad all day and had a nasty rush of anxiety mid-day. My PNP and I decided to only add .12mg extra in the morning and not in the eve  see if that helps. 

 

As the day goes by, the sadness has gone away. I haven't had any more rushes either. 

 

Thank you as always for all of your help and your wonderful kindness. 

 

Big hugs of gratitude. 

 

NB

[Frogie]

24 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

So, what happens if you don't go up in dose? Doesn't the intensity get worse?

Not necessarily. It takes a few days for your body to get used to it.