Ninabird: Effexor withdrawal?

[Ninabird]

12 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

My suggestion would be to just relax and accept that at this time you are not tapering and I think that there will come a day when you realise that you are feeling back to (what was) "normal".

Good morning Chessiecat, I have already accepted that I have to allow my CNS to chill out for a while and if that takes months, so be it. The way I have felt lately has been unreal. I know it is an accumulation of one stressful thing after another in a short period of time and then COVID.The best thing right now it to sit and wait for things to calm down.

 

12 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I had this happen myself recently.  I had a flu for about 4 weeks, wasn't quite 100% and then caught a head cold which I had for about another 4 weeks.  Then there was one day that I realised that I was well again.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better! Thank you for attaching the video. I am going to watch it next. Chessiecat I truly appreciate your time. I know you mods have your own life and it can be daunting to get back to everyone but I want you to know how thankful I am. 

Congratulations on your recovery! One day I hope to write my success story. 

 

Much respect,

NB

[Ninabird]

Today I am grateful for: God, my son (who lives to make me laugh) my dog (who is the most loving spirit) The Whopper Jr I wolfed down last night, a trip to the farmers market today and filled my fridge with beautiful veggies and berries, learning to play Canasta with a friend, the trip through the carwash with Mercy Me playing on my stereo, the roof over my head, authentic French yogurt. You don't need to wait until life doesn't hurt to be happy. Have a blessed day everyone. May God be with each and every one of you. 

 

Love and Peace,

Ninabird

[Chlo]

3 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

Today I am grateful for: God, my son (who lives to make me laugh) my dog (who is the most loving spirit) The Whopper Jr I wolfed down last night, a trip to the farmers market today and filled my fridge with beautiful veggies and berries, learning to play Canasta with a friend, the trip through the carwash with Mercy Me playing on my stereo, the roof over my head, authentic French yogurt. You don't need to wait until life doesn't hurt to be happy. Have a blessed day everyone. May God be with each and every one of you. 

 

Love and Peace,

Ninabird

BEAUTIFUL, my friend!

You have encouraged me to share my blessings with you as well. Thank you for reminding me.

I am thankful for my cousins driving 12 hours to help me move to my new apartment. And for my son and his 3 friends that helped too.

For the rain that held off til the move was over. For my momma feeding all of us after a hard day's work. I believe God put my cousins wife in my life last night to share words of encouragement with me, she understands what I'm going through and makes a point to give me hugs and tells me I'm doing good and to keep pressing on. For my little doggy Abby that entertained everyone in Home Depot today. And for the strawberry cheesecake that I know better than, but my my my was it good. I pray it doesn't effect me later. I'm very grateful for my new apartment...just not excited about being by myself, but I know I have @Ninabird and @Moonpie and all of you to keep me company on here. Oh...and I'm thankful for the cauliflower crust Alfredo chicken pizza too.

Love and blessings to you all 🌻😘🤍

[Moonpie]

@Ninabird @Chlo beautiful!! both of you!!! Gratitude makes a huge difference!!  Thank you both for sharing.  So proud of you and how great you are doing! Hugs!❤️

[Ninabird]

 I suspected that my current scale wasn't giving accurate readings and immediately ordered a new Gemini scale. When it came yesterday, I dumped ea capsule that I made for the week (with the old scale) and was shocked to see how off ea capsule was. No wonder I was feeling as bad as I was. Now, I am completely realistic about how I feel in general while in WD but this I am sure was playing a nasty part into my worsening wd symptoms. The old scale is in the trash. I am so glad I followed my gut.

 

Today I am grateful for fresh raspberries with French Lemon yogurt.

I am grateful for air-conditioning (it is 114 here....heatwave on steroids)

I am so grateful for the love and support from my SA friends. 

I am grateful that I am a genuinely good and loving person. 

I am also grateful for my sassiness. 

 

Have a blessed day everyone. May your window be long and glorious. Much love to ea and everyone of you. 

[Ninabird]

@brassmonkey

Hi there. Hopefully you aren't in this dreadful heat too.  

 

After a very tough 6 weeks I suspected that my scale might be off. I ordered a new Gemini and I emptied (one by one) the capsules I had prepared for the week (with the old scale) with the new scale. All but two were off. The ones that were off were off by quite a bit. I am currently on .116mg. The lowest pill read .108 and the highest was .118. Here is my question (I am pretty sure that you may already know what I am about to ask) Now that I have a new scale and all of my pills are weighing .116mg, how long will it take to stabilize? Yesterday was the first day in over 4 weeks where I could focus on my work and did manage to work 8 full hours. Today is a little wonky. I am feeling tingling in my head, some head pain, ears are  ringing, eyes are red and dark circles under my eyes, some anxiety but it comes and goes throughout the day. I do have some sadness but not as intense as it was on Monday. I am lucky in the sense that my sleep is good. No real appetite until the evening but I do make myself drink fresh green smoothies and I am drinking Organic, sugar-free protein shakes. 

 

After having so much stress too the last 6 weeks I am taking the Mods advice and hold for a while. Now with the realization that my doses were all wonky, should I extend my hold even longer? 

 

Thank you so much BM. How are you doing? 

 

Much thanks and respect,

Nina Bird

[Ninabird]

Is there any other Mod that can assist me with my concern above? Thank you so much. 
 

[Faure]

On 9/7/2022 at 9:24 PM, Ninabird said:

emptied (one by one) the capsules I had prepared for the week (with the old scale) with the new scale. All but two were off.

When you transfer already ground up powder into a capsule and then transfer from one capsule to the next, you will lose powder along the way. Small amounts that stick on the paper (or whatever you used to transfer it), small amounts in the capsule when you emptied it. So it isn’t surprising that you got different amounts when you re weighed. It’s good that you have now got a scale you have confidence in.

 

Do you calibrate your scales before you make up each batch? This is vital to ensure the scales are working accurately. The instructions tell you how to do this. 
 

It’s good news that Tuesday was a good day. If I were you I’d wait until I’d had a week, maybe 2 weeks of WD normal days before starting again. How long it will take to achieve WD normal is impossible to answer - no one can tell you that!  I hope you have a better day today and I’m sorry you ended up with Covid. Give yourself as much time as you need to start feeling better and a bit more relaxed after 6 weeks of stress, that is quite a long time to be stressed.
 

I usually know when I can start again after a hold because I feel excited and ready….but I know it’s different for everyone. 

[Ninabird]

4 hours ago, Faure said:

 

Do you calibrate your scales before you make up each batch? This is vital to ensure the scales are working accurately. The instructions tell you how to do this. 

I do. 

[brassmonkey]

Had an emergency dentist appointment yesterday, shot the whole day. Yea, we are cooking here too. Over 100 all week.

 

There will always be a little variation between scales and weighings, but your results are pushing it, the new scales should help. I would hold for 4-6 weeks to let things settle out. In general, it sounds like you're doing pretty good.

[Ninabird]

@frogie   @brassmonkey

 

Is it ok to add probiotics while in WD and tapering? Brand name is Stonehenge Dynamic Biotics (16 strain probiotic blend 51bcfu (224mg) I had to put on my readers to read the label. Darn 53 year old eyes. Thank you so much.

[brassmonkey]

shouldn't be a problem. Like with everything start small and build up as needed.

[Faure]

I found a probiotic taken daily made me anxious. I ended up taking it Monday, Wed, Friday. More recently I have taken to kimchi which I have 3-4 times a week.

[Ninabird]

8 hours ago, Faure said:

found a probiotic taken daily made me anxious. I ended up taking it Monday, Wed, Friday. More recently I have taken to kimchi which I have 3-4 times a week.

Hi Faure! How are you doing?So good to hear from you!  Thank you for the post. I will try Tuesday and Thursdays to start and see how it goes. Better to start slow at BM suggested. 

[Ninabird]

@Frogie @brassmonkey @Shep

 

Hi everyone. I am sorry to tag ut I could use some Mod input. Last week I had two and a half decent days. They were wonderful. Since then I feel I am in a wave but a very different wave. This seems more mental. I am still getting the burning in my head (I have had that since....last September after being fast tapered from Prozac) It seems like I get the feeling of intense WD but mentally. I sometimes get these flashes of feeling like I am about to go crazy. These only last a few seconds but they scare the heck out of me. My ears ring all the time, I feel some level of sadness everyday, I have some issues with certain smells. Lately I am waking up a few times during the night. I always wake up with anxiety. I take the half dose of Klonopin at 6:30 and it seems my body wakes me like clockwork to take it. This has been going on for over a year. My biggest fear is that I am getting worse. It scares me to my very core. 

After several spills of the crushed Lexapro I have abandoned the powder method and have gone to filing. I still weigh it and double check the weighs. Could this be what has caused me to feel this way? I figured its so much easier to pick a slipped pill off of the floor than to lose a whole tray of powdered Lex. 

I want to get off of the Klonopin so bad but I know I can only taper off of one drug at a time and I still need to taper off of Cymbalta once I am off of the lex. 

I hope I am not being a pain and I value all of you and your time. 

God Bless. 

Ninabird

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, but it could be from going from crushing and weighing to just filing the tablet.

 

I would try to crush and weigh them again, but only crush and weigh 5 at a time and don't put it on a tray. After crushing the tablets, immediately put it in a medicine bottle and spoon it out from there.  You might also keep a piece of  paper under the bottle so if you were to spill it you could fold the paper and pour it back in the bottle. And keep it away from the edge of the table.  I used to cut a drinking straw diagonally in 3 pieces and use that to spoon it out of my container. 

 

I would not taper the Klonopin until you are done with everything, because just as you know it really is helping with your wd. Your body has gotten used to taking it and that may be why you are waking up to take it.

 

I hope I was able to help you out. Hang in there.

[Ninabird]

41 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I would try to crush and weigh them again

Is filing a bad thing? Should I go back to the powder? Is that changing things up too much? Of course you are always a huge help. Hope you are doing well! Thank you for responding.

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

It is a change. And your body is probably reacting to the change. 

 

I normally suggest that you crush and weight your tablets, just so you get an accurate amount every time.

[Ninabird]

5 minutes ago, Frogie said:

t is a change. And your body is probably reacting to the change. 

Will my WD symptoms get worse going back to the power....(another change)

[Ninabird]

Just now, Ninabird said:

Will my WD symptoms get worse going back to the power....(another change)

I will do whatever you think will help.

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

You were doing better when you were crushing and weighing. I would say you may have a couple of bumps until your body gets used to it again, but you should do ok once back with this method.

[Ninabird]

26 minutes ago, Frogie said:

ou were doing better when you were crushing and weighing. I would say you may have a couple of bumps until your body gets used to it again, but you should do ok once back with this method.

Thank you dear Frogie. I will start back tomorrow. 

Wishing you a very blessed and joy filled day.

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

You also.

[Ninabird]

@Frogie

Hi there! I hope this post finds you well. Yesterday was perhaps the worst morning in 6 months. Mentally I felt awful. I felt deep sadness, unable to focus, weird muscle cramping in my neck and biceps, anxiety, fatigue, heat flushing. I was about to cry "UNCLE," and cancel my appointments for the day but I told myself to get up and get going.....so I did. I went to my first meeting and my day got easier from there. It wasn't a picnic but it was a wd normal day overall. I am so proud of myself for not giving in and cancelling my day. My day ended with a signed listing agreement and later in the day an accepted offer for my buyer. 

Today I woke up for the first time in over a very long time with NO anxiety. I also slept really good. Today has been another pretty decent WD normal day. I really appreciate all of your sage advice and the advice from the other MODS. 

Thank you to the MODS who haven't forgotten what it's like to be on the other side. Your compassion, dedication and void of arrogance or irritation @ those who are deep in suffering is beautiful. God bless you.

[Frogie]

@Ninabird

 

It sounds like you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and started all over again. That’s great you were able to overcome your anxiety and face it head on!

 

That means you’re doing better overall.

 

I’m very proud of you for facing your fears and accomplishing the things you set out to do! Well done!!

[Ninabird]

I dropped .001 magi on Monday. Yesterday and today I have been experiencing waves of anxiety that come and go. For example, I’ll have 30 minutes of anxiety then 30 minutes of calm, burning on my face for an hour then 30 minutes of calm, 20 minutes of feeling mentally off then I’m calm again. This continues all day. I took my 6:30 .25mg of Klonopin and it calmed things down a bit but later in the eve I had surges of anxiety again. 
I slept well. I woke at 5am with anxiety. Did breath work, prayed.. took Klonopin at 6:30 ( .25) the anxiety and tension are not as bad but still very present. Took my .115 of lex and Estradiol at 7:30. Since then I feel mental symptoms increase. Heightened feelings of sadness, ears ringing, ears sensitive, feeling mentally off ( like I’m about to go bonkers) that scares me a lot. 
How can such a small drop cause such chaos?! I think to myself “ how can I get through 115 more drops if I feel this bad?!” 
I have wonderful people in my life who cheer me on. 
Today I feel frightened. I feel broken. Am I tapering wrong? The last time I dropped was over a month ago. 
I am so so thankful that I’m still able to work. The scary part for me is will this get worse and make working impossible? 

[Ninabird]

I’m so scared that I’m going to fall apart mentally during tapering. Is that normal to feel that way? I do try to let symptoms “flow,” the feeling that I’m going to go crazy from this is hard to let “flow,”

[KenA]

Just now, Ninabird said:

I’m so scared that I’m going to fall apart mentally during tapering. Is that normal to feel that way? I do try to let symptoms “flow,” the feeling that I’m going to go crazy from this is hard to let “flow,”

Yep that is completely normal. Felt that way for a very long time. Thought many many times that I was losing it and going crazy! But, it was just another symptom. It passed like all the rest. Its just our healing minds trying to make sense of something that doesnt make sense When it happens, just acknowledge that its happening, realize its just another symptom of WD and keep on pushing through Youve got this!

[Ninabird]

5 minutes ago, KenA said:

Yep that is completely normal. Felt that way for a very long time. Thought many many times that I was losing it and going crazy!

It’s so scary. How did you push through that? Does it get easier as your drop more?

[Ninabird]

@KenA I have to be able to work. 
Today I feel frozen in doubt. How will I be able to endure 115 more drops? I’ve been so strong for the last year and a half. I push through every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I don’t know why today is so hard for me. I have one foot on the floor and the other on my bed. I’m trying to tell myself to get up! Walk your dog. Do not give into the WD. 

[KenA]

1 minute ago, Ninabird said:

It’s so scary. How did you push through that? Does it get easier as your drop more?

I know, it's extremely scary. When your body and mind are all going haywire at the same time, it can knock you down for sure. But you have to keep picking yourself back up and keep going until it passes. It's very very hard to push through it, but I knew deep down inside that I was going to heal one day. I knew from all the other survivors who had said they went through it and made it. I knew I would heal as well. I would tell myself over and over that it will be ok. That my mind is just temporarily sick and this was not permanent. I prayed a lot, and distracted alot as well. Lot's of walks, worked on crafts, went outside and just stood in the sunshine. Distraction was key for me. It helped pass the time. I CT quit everything so I never dropped or reduced. But yes, it did get easier and easier as more time went by. Time is the ultimate healer. When you think that things are at there worst and won't ever get any better, just keep giving it more and more time.

 

[benesh]

Oh dear Ninabird.

My heart goes out to you. Yes our minds tell us horrible things. I have been reading Baylissa Frederick’s book, Recovery and Renewel. She puts to words what my brain does when a wave hits. Yes you will get through it. Never ever give up. It is WD talking. I know it seems and sounds soooo real. 
Now I am in a window. I can RECOGNIZE the WD brain talking when others are encountering it. Fear is a liar.

Know I am praying  for you. 
Reading Psalm 23 in different translations help me allot.

❤️🙏

Better days are ahead.

Benesh

[KenA]

Just now, Ninabird said:

@KenA I have to be able to work. 
Today I feel frozen in doubt. How will I be able to endure 115 more drops? I’ve been so strong for the last year and a half. I push through every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I don’t know why today is so hard for me. I have one foot on the floor and the other on my bed. I’m trying to tell myself to get up! Walk your dog. Do not give into the WD. 

I know. Somehow by a miracle I was able to keep working and not lose my job. I was honest and upfront about what I was going through with my boss and they were super cool with me. It's like I told them, I just had a temporary mental injury that I had to let heal. They were cool with that. You will be able to endure each and every single drop because you can and you will. That's all there is to it. Honestly, you can do this and you know you can. So just keep taking it one day at a time. I know it's hard and it seems like it'll be the rest of your life, but it won't. It's just temporary. You are just having a strong wave day of healing today. But that's ok. We have to have the hard days of healing to get better. I would always tell myself, the harder the symtoms, the more healing that was getting done. Just gotta focus on the positive as much as you can. I know it's hard to do, but that's all we got is time. We can choose to be miserable or we can choose to make the best of a terrible situation. I always chose to make the best of it. 

Yep, just do the best you can. Getting outside in the sunshine always did wonders for me. Good ole natural Vitamin D Always lifted my spirits  But yes, just keep in going day by day until you get there. You are doing amazing and you have made it through 100 percent of your days. You will continue to do so

 

Ken

[Ninabird]

@benesh

i have Psalm 23 underlined and highlighted it’s a beautiful Psalm. I’m so glad you are experiencing a window. 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

I love Baylissa’s book. 

[Ninabird]

@KenA

i just don’t understand how such a small drop of .001 could make me feel so icky. I think, “will they all be like this?!” “ will it get worse?”

I am a pretty positive and goofy lady. I want ME back. The person I’ve become during WD is not me at all. 
You are great at speaking the truth and motivating. I appreciate you and your kind words, Ken. 

[Ninabird]

2 hours ago, benesh said:

Know I am praying  for you. 

Bless you sweet Benesh.