littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[RachelSusan]

@littlebird I find that making new friends is indeed very similar to dating.  Lot of the basics the same.  Don’t go to fast, don’t go to slow, don’t over share, don’t under share, but still be yourself. LOL, I thought I was over that type of stuff years ago when I found a permanent partner.  How right you are little bird. You made me smile. 

[Fifree]

On 7/26/2023 at 6:42 AM, littlebird said:

I felt a bit odd... like he was saying it was hard to know me?

Hi LB. Could he have been clumsily trying to express a little empathy? Like trying to share with you that, if it was this difficult just being friends with someone who's non-binary, he's getting a glimmer of understanding of how difficult it must be to actually live non-binary? Just a thought from a binary person with good intentions who sometimes stuffs up.

 

On 7/27/2023 at 10:06 AM, littlebird said:

a bit of a bummer to hear after 2 hours of being clear I was sensitive to med changes

yikes that must've been disappointing. Is your new psych at least supportive of tapering? Like will she give you prescriptions that will enable you to taper? Cos that can be a real problem... Years ago I was tapering Lexapro and went to my GP to get a new script and he just scoffed at me and said that the dose I was on was well below the therapeutic dose and wouldn't have been doing anything. Said I had to go back up to 10 or just get off. As he's the man with the magic prescription pad, I had to agree because I knew I couldn't jump off. Of course now I'd just take the script and continue the taper, but at that time I listened to him. 

 

[littlebird]

10 hours ago, Fifree said:

Like trying to share with you that, if it was this difficult just being friends with someone who's non-binary, he's getting a glimmer of understanding of how difficult it must be to actually live non-binary? Just a thought from a binary person with good intentions who sometimes stuffs up.

You know what, I bet you're right! I could definitely see this being the case. Thank you for this perspective! If I'm being really honest with myself, I'm also wondering if I was looking for a reason to pump the brakes and keep him at arm's length.... I was just talking in therapy about how it's hard and scary to let people in. Hm...

 

11 hours ago, Fifree said:

Is your new psych at least supportive of tapering?

Yup! She's unfamiliar with tapering, and was surprised to hear I have a scale and interest in going slow, but she used the terms "consolidate medications and deprescribe" and agreed that I no longer need this level of medication. I think if I had waited to taper till I found a doctor to do it with, maybe she might be as wary as the other ones I talked to about lowering doses, but maybe since I was coming to her with lots of evidence that lowering my doses was working for me she was more open?

 

Maybe it's also cause she's fresh out of school, I'd like to think that there's some talk starting about how overmedicating can be problematic... that might be wishful thinking tho!

 

How's your tapering journey going?

[littlebird]

Gratitudes!

😎 Got connected with a trauma-informed therapist!!! Still early days, and it'll be every few weeks, but I'm feeling hopeful

🪴 A houseplant that was struggling for awhile is bouncing back and putting out new leaves, always nice when that happens

☀️ Sunny weekend ahead! So appreciating it feeling more like summer

💛 So grateful for my partner! They make me feel like the luckiest person around

🎨 Been getting to do a little more graphic design for work, which is fun

😶‍🌫️ Since I tapered Seroquel, I started remembering dreams again. Feels like a good sign!

[littlebird]

On 7/26/2023 at 5:14 PM, RachelSusan said:

I find that making new friends is indeed very similar to dating.  Lot of the basics the same.  Don’t go to fast, don’t go to slow, don’t over share, don’t under share, but still be yourself.

Sooooooo true! It's nerve-wracking and almost makes me want to scurry back into isolation. Still, worth the nerves being wracked in the long run!

[Fifree]

On 7/29/2023 at 4:11 AM, littlebird said:

consolidate medications and deprescribe

This sounds very positive after a long period of just adding more in. Glad she’s supportive. That helps a lot. 
 

On 7/29/2023 at 4:11 AM, littlebird said:

How's your tapering journey going?

Tapering is ok I think. I went a did a lil update on my thread. Thanks for the reminder

[littlebird]

💊 It was cool to hear new psychiatrist use the term "deprescribe" and agree it has benefits! Thank goodness, someone on the same page.

☀️ Had a warm night last night and ate outside with partner and pup

📅 Grateful med changes are falling on a weekend, this is throwing me for a loop and it's nice to have some time to rest

🐾 Pup had a bath and is so fluffy and soft! 

🪴 Some new herbs I planted are thriving, they'll be ready to harvest soon

👕 Feeling motivated to downsize, gonna have a lot of clothes for the next swap I hear about

📚 Culled some books from the shelves I don't want anymore, might start biking around to the little neighborhood free libraries and pop them in around town

[littlebird]

On 7/26/2023 at 5:06 PM, littlebird said:

Doc recommended CT of Wellbutrin, effective immediately

Thank goodness I didn't listen to this advice, just a taper of WellyB is throwing me for a loop. Manageable, but noticeable. Can't imagine cold turkeying this. So glad I found this site before finding this doctor.

[littlebird]

☀️ Getting some lovely days here!

💻 Getting things done, able to work outside which is nice

🍲 Partner made me some food, didn't even realize how hungry I was till I was eating 

🪴 Plants are coming along, so nice to see them growing and blooming

📚 Been making time to read before bed and in breaks throughout the day, it used to be something I enjoyed when I was young and it's nice to read for fun again

🦋 Been seeing lots of butterflies!

[littlebird]

Each med has a different quality while tapering, and tonight WellyB taper is making it feel like someone is crumping aluminum foil in my brain. It's also really turning the effects of Gabapentin up to 11.

 

I wish I could take a shower that would wash my lil brain clean of symptoms and issues! Remembered to meditate, which was a bit like a brain shower now that I think of it. 😇

[j1290]

14 minutes ago, littlebird said:

 

I wish I could take a shower that would wash my lil brain clean of symptoms and issues! Remembered to meditate, which was a bit like a brain shower now that I think of it. 😇

Speaking of which, when I take a hot shower it gives me a break from the brain cramps for a while.  Or if I rub a certain spot in my temples it takes the symptoms away for a minute.  The meditation really helps you think?  I haven't done that in ages but its always a great idea I think.  

[Thorin]

49 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Speaking of which, when I take a hot shower it gives me a break from the brain cramps for a while.  Or if I rub a certain spot in my temples it takes the symptoms away for a minute. 

Must be a relief to get a break for a bit. Imagine how good it’ll be when it’s just gone.

[littlebird]

53 minutes ago, j1290 said:

The meditation really helps you think?  I haven't done that in ages but its always a great idea I think. 

Helped with WD and anxiety! I gotta remember to get back into doing it daily. 

[Thorin]

20 minutes ago, littlebird said:

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

The meditation really helps you think?  I haven't done that in ages but its always a great idea I think. 

Helped with WD and anxiety! I gotta remember to get back into doing it daily. 

What sort of meditation do you do LB?

[littlebird]

9 hours ago, Thorin said:

What sort of meditation do you do LB?

I've tried different sorts, but the one I'm drawn to these days is simply saying a mantra 108 times. On the tough days, it's easier to stick with because I know about how far along I am (versus fighting the urge to peek at a timer for example).

 

Which reminds me, I haven't meditated today! Better get to it. Darn it, should have thought of that sooner, just heard neighbors arriving home and I'm in the shared yard. 

 

Have you tried meditation?

[Thorin]

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

I've tried different sorts, but the one I'm drawn to these days is simply saying a mantra 108 times. On the tough days, it's easier to stick with because I know about how far along I am (versus fighting the urge to peek at a timer for example).

 

Which reminds me, I haven't meditated today! Better get to it. Darn it, should have thought of that sooner, just heard neighbors arriving home and I'm in the shared yard. 

 

Have you tried meditation?

I have but I tend to struggle to stick with it. I need to try again.

[littlebird]

Insurance company changed generics for Pristiq again and I'm feeling a change. I always used to wonder if that was in my head, but after this site I know I'm not alone in feeling that shift. Went from the square ones I'd taken for over a year to round ones. I know some people have successfully advocated to get brand name meds, but it was soooo many hoops just to get this refilled as it was (wondering if this is a med affected by shortages it was such a headache to get this latest refill). 

 

Not to mention, the cost of my meds keeps going up when I refill and I'm not trying to see how much it would cost me to get a non-generic. 

 

Looking forward to the idea that I could leave the house without preparing liquid meds/icepack/syringe and measuring out fragments (or bringing a scale with me). Or go to walk the dog without worrying if there's timing issues with that and a med. Or get ready for a trip without stressing about having enough pills in case of unexpected delays or bringing giant pharmacy bottles to cross a border with.

[FireflyFyte]

38 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Insurance company changed generics for Pristiq again and I'm feeling a change. I always used to wonder if that was in my head, but after this site I know I'm not alone in feeling that shift.

 

I wish that more pharmacies would understand the effects of switching brands for medications. You are not alone in the feeling but hopefully it is mild and passes quickly for you.

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, FireflyFyte said:

I wish that more pharmacies would understand the effects of switching brands for medications. You are not alone in the feeling but hopefully it is mild and passes quickly for you.

Doctors have told me I shouldn't be feeling a difference, which tells me they don't take meds on the regular and haven't experienced it themselves. Hoping body gets used to it soon! How's life been treating you lately?

[j1290]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Doctors have told me I shouldn't be feeling a difference,

Reminds me of my parents telling me how I should feel 🤣🤣🤣  I think it takes me 2-3 weeks to adjust to a new generic.  I started using honeybee health to keep the same brand.  Totally worth it but WellyB is cheap tho.  I never had luck getting a name brand waiver or a canadian pharmacy.  

 

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

Looking forward to the idea that I could leave the house without preparing liquid meds/icepack/syringe and measuring out fragments

I'm hoping to quickly take it for granted that I don't need to worry about meds when I leave the house 😂  It's going to be soooooo nice just to feel unmedicated.  

[FireflyFyte]

16 hours ago, littlebird said:

Hoping body gets used to it soon! How's life been treating you lately?

 

I hope so too and also hope they don't switch you again.

 

I have been OK. One of my dogs is at the ER vet so that has been stressful but trying to manage the best that I can. 

[littlebird]

3 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

One of my dogs is at the ER vet so that has been stressful but trying to manage the best that I can. 

That is so stressful! Hoping pup is better and back home soon. 💛

[littlebird]

19 hours ago, j1290 said:

I started using honeybee health to keep the same brand.  Totally worth it but WellyB is cheap tho.

I should look into this! It would be nice not to have any other factors coming in when tapering is already mixing things up.

 

3 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

hope they don't switch you again.

Fingers crossed! Every time I get a refill I check right away and it's always a relief when it's the same color and shape as last time. Also been having some issues with meds going out of stock... wonder if I could talk new psychiatrist into helping me have a small stockpile for emergencies? I was thinking I need to get meds organized in the earthquake kit. 

 

New doctor was talking about getting me back on ADHD meds (I pushed back that I'm on too many pills already and stimulants historically lead to panic attacks), but every time I call the pharmacy I have to listen to a long message about how out of stock ADHD meds are right now and I've seen multiple tantrums in person waiting in line when people can't get their adderall. Weird times.

 

Kinda blows my mind how many unmasked people I see in the pharmacy, which is in the main hospital building. So much coughing/sniffling, so few masks. Med friends, may I make a loving recommendation that when you go to the pharmacy (which is where the sick people go too) you throw on a solid N95? Covid hospitalizations jumped 10% and wastewater testing is worrying. Also school is about to start, testing is low, and masks are gone in healthcare soooooooo buckle up cause we're in for a bumpy ride here in the states in a few weeks.

 

19 hours ago, j1290 said:

20 hours ago, littlebird said:

Doctors have told me I shouldn't be feeling a difference,

Reminds me of my parents telling me how I should feel 🤣🤣🤣  I think it takes me 2-3 weeks to adjust to a new generic.

 

I always wonder, am I the first patient to mention to them that I feel a difference? Or are they routinely ignoring people who also feel it? New doc was shocked that I was doing better with breaking up WellyB SR than I did with switching to WellyB IR. I have a bottle of the WellyB IR I'm never gonna use, wish we could do a med exchange and mail off things to people and save them a co-pay. I also have some ill-advised Prozac I'm never gonna take again and it feels wasteful to put these almost-full bottles in the "pill recycling" bin in the pharmacy, I'm guessing they have to destroy everything for safety.

 

Maybe I can ask if any of the direct service groups who work with homeless folks here could use em for people who lost their meds in sweeps? It's illegal, but also giving them sandwiches is illegal so they're breaking the law every week already. Eh, probably a little too illegal tho. They don't need more heat.

[j1290]

 

16 minutes ago, littlebird said:

wonder if I could talk new psychiatrist into helping me have a small stockpile for emergencies? I was thinking I need to get meds organized in the earthquake kit. 

I mean, that seems reasonable.  As I tapered down I started getting to have a stockpile of leftover pills.  Honestly though when you have to take this stuff 3 times a day I don't think it's unreasonable to have extras.  I have extras in my car, work, earthquake bag.  

 

29 minutes ago, littlebird said:

and I've seen multiple tantrums in person waiting in line when people can't get their adderall. Weird times.

It's been a minute but i've seen people rage out before.  

 

36 minutes ago, littlebird said:

New doc was shocked that I was doing better with breaking up WellyB SR than I did with switching to WellyB IR

That's awesome!  

 

4 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I have been OK. One of my dogs is at the ER vet so that has been stressful but trying to manage the best that I can. 

Sorry to hear about your dog and hope they get well soon!

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

I have extras in my car, work, earthquake bag.  

I was thinking about the car, but wondered about it getting too hot. Do you change them out every now and again?

 

2 hours ago, j1290 said:

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

New doc was shocked that I was doing better with breaking up WellyB SR than I did with switching to WellyB IR

That's awesome!  

New doc is still under supervision, and maybe I'll be a good learning experience about med-sensitive people who react better to a taper. If I wasn't active on this site I'd recommend it to her to read, but I feel weird about being so vulnerable on here and wanting to keep as much anonymity as possible. 

 

I was so surprised to hear her use the term deprescribe, I'd been cautious in my language and talked about tapering, lower doses helping, and "lower working doses." Kinda surprised she wanted to fully eliminate one, but pleasantly surprised.

[littlebird]

💊 As mentioned in the post above, I was pleasantly surprised to hear my new doctor bring the term deprescribe to the table. I keep having hopes that things are gonna work out!

☀️ We're getting a dose of summer weather! I stretched out in the sun and read a book yesterday and it was so nice

🌱 My partner harvested some rosemary and tomatoes from our little urban garden to cook dinner with last night, it feels so good to eat food we grew ourselves

🐾 My dog is so dang cute, y'all. If you're thinking about getting a furry bud, go for it! Our mental health and quality of life improved with our little one. If you foster, you can try it out and also get food and medical needs paid for

💛 I'm so grateful for my friends. Lately as emotions and memories thaw, I grieve how much of my life I isolated. I'm feeling those feelings, giving myself compassion and understanding, and investing energy with people I care about so I don't have to live like that anymore. I was hyper-independent for a long time (trauma response), but we really are social creatures who do better in community

🤝 Which includes y'all! Thanks for being an online community. This psych med journey is weird and wild and I'm so glad to not be doing it alone. In support groups, I've met a lot of people who I connect with on the trauma level but we disagree about psych meds. I don't want to rock anyone's boat, if they make their life better then that's awesome! It's just nice to talk to other people who also feel over-medicated and want to safely find what life is like with less man-made chemicals all up in us

[Soup]

@littlebird do you split your sr Wellbutrin tablet ? You found going over to IR too Much ?  Debating going from xl to sr and splitting . Is it hard to split ? Thanks for any sharing appreciate it 

[j1290]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

I was thinking about the car, but wondered about it getting too hot. Do you change them out every now and again?

Yeah usually when I get a refill I'll grab what's left from the old bottle in the pill cabinet and put it in the car, and maybe take some pills out of that and bring them in to work, something like that.  I'm using liquid these days so I'm not super vigilant anymore, but I certainly used the pills from the center console a few times in the past.   I think I used all the pills in there, come think of it.   I keep a few different ones in there.  

 

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

I was so surprised to hear her use the term deprescribe, I'd been cautious in my language and talked about tapering, lower doses helping, and "lower working doses." Kinda surprised she wanted to fully eliminate one, but pleasantly surprised.

Dang and the win for finesse goes to LB!!  Nicely put.  I never would have thought of those words LOL

 

I never even thought of it till just now but if I had to taper all over again I'd consider switching to all SR and trying to taper.  According to the charts it hits much softer than the IR and I have to think it's easier to tolerate.   

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, Soup said:

do you split your sr Wellbutrin tablet ? You found going over to IR too Much ?  Debating going from xl to sr and splitting . Is it hard to split ? Thanks for any sharing appreciate it 

Yup, I use scissors to cut it into fragments I can weigh. I remember trying IR, but it felt different and my nervous system was happier with the one I'd been taking.

 

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

Dang and the win for finesse goes to LB!!  Nicely put.  I never would have thought of those words LOL

I've been taking mental notes for years when I get pushback from doctors, then use their words.

 

1 hour ago, j1290 said:

I never even thought of it till just now but if I had to taper all over again I'd consider switching to all SR and trying to taper.  According to the charts it hits much softer than the IR and I have to think it's easier to tolerate.   

Even thought it becomes IR when broken? Maybe it's not just me then!

[j1290]

22 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Even thought it becomes IR when broken? Maybe it's not just me then!

When I was tapering off 450mg, if I'd been taking all SR I think it would have been easier on me than taking all IR.  Even if the SR turns into IR when dissolved in water or cut (hotly debated topic), it still would've been a much smaller amount of IR than the full 450 mg.   

 

I'm just guessing though, the only way to really know is to give it a shot, and luckily I'm not taking that much anymore 😁

 

Just FYI I just re-read go2zero's post and he said 

Quote

In my case I experience symptoms like heavy sweating, anxiety and heart palpitations when taking IR is dosages over 40 mg in one time.

which sounds like below 40mg things might ease up.  Wahoo!

[littlebird]

 

16 hours ago, j1290 said:

Quote

In my case I experience symptoms like heavy sweating, anxiety and heart palpitations when taking IR is dosages over 40 mg in one time.

which sounds like below 40mg things might ease up.  Wahoo!

Have you noticed a rubberband effect of more anxiety after a cut? I had what felt like the start of a panic attack out of nowhere late last night. Otherwise I've noticed less anxiety and hyper-vigilance, but occasionally anxiety will strike hard. Weird!

[j1290]

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Have you noticed a rubberband effect of more anxiety after a cut? I had what felt like the start of a panic attack out of nowhere late last night. Otherwise I've noticed less anxiety and hyper-vigilance, but occasionally anxiety will strike hard. Weird!

I tend to get the anxiety later in the day.  My hunch is that being sleepy has some kind of role.  Same thing, it'll hit me like a wave and then surf's up!  I gotta ride that sucker out.   😎  I think Thorin or you described it as anxiety that takes you right up to the edge of a full blown panic attack but doesn't quite tip over.  Yeah, I wouldn't mind if I never felt that way again ever in my life 😆

[littlebird]

15 minutes ago, j1290 said:

My hunch is that being sleepy has some kind of role.  Same thing, it'll hit me like a wave and then surf's up!

Yuuup, I was just thinking how exhausted I felt and that it was time to get ready for bed then BAM!

 

16 minutes ago, j1290 said:

anxiety that takes you right up to the edge of a full blown panic attack but doesn't quite tip over.  Yeah, I wouldn't mind if I never felt that way again ever in my life 😆

Exactly that. Came in like a panic attack, then pulled the punch right before it got out of control. Wondering if I had pushed myself too hard, stayed up later than I meant to cause I wanted to clean the kitchen before going to bed and I was getting pretty punch-drunk tired.

[littlebird]

Tapering Wellbutrin has been leading to some weight gain. Not ideal for someone in recovery for anorexia! 😱 I haven't weighed myself in years (recovery for the win) but have been playing with the idea of looking for the scale I asked partner to hide from me. It's a small apartment, there are literally only a few places it could be. No, LB! No. Don't go back down that road.

 

Also hard to eat and cooking last night was an uphill climb. It would appear this taper has brought on a bit of an eating disorder episode; been catching myself restricting food and skipping meals again. Something to keep an eye on, and also a good reason why CT of Wellbutrin would have been a shitshow if a taper is hitting me this hard. Thank goodness I found this site before finding this doctor!

 

TBH, inflation is also affecting recovery here, been thinking a lot about how much money I saved being full-blown anorexic. Sure, I felt real bad sometimes, occasionally passed out, would get way too drunk whenever I had a small amount of alcohol, and my emotions/anxieties were as out of control as my blood sugar........ but it cost less money and time shopping/cooking/eating/washing dishes. 

 

Recently deadpanned at a party when someone mentioned intermittent fasting, "I've been doing that since it was called anorexia," and while it got a laugh (and felt kinda freeing to joke/be open about it) I did wonder if I should keep this problem wrapped up in shame. Then again, when I started talking about trauma more then people started talking about their own traumas more, so maybe I'll make someone feel less alone by being vulnerable?

 

Also, heads up for anyone who thinks anorexia can't be an issue for you cause of gender/health/whatever... look up orthorexia. HOO BOY, are there are lot of rampant undiagnosed eating disorders running around (and being sold to us).

 

 

[Fifree]

8 hours ago, littlebird said:

HOO BOY, are there are lot of rampant undiagnosed eating disorders running around (and being sold to us).

Oh yes this is getting out of hand. There are a lot of influencers with no idea what they're talking about like this poor woman. I've read that there's suspicion that Steve Jobs' dietary obsessions contributed to his early demise too... 

 

LB, you deserve to treat yourself kindly and look after your body. And you def don't have to be ashamed of your past struggles. There are a lot of things to get addicted to in this world... we're all just doing our best out here including you and slip-up from time to time does not mean a full-blown relapse. It's just a slip-up.  I'm so glad you were cautious with your approach to tapering WellyB. Hang tight

[littlebird]

13 hours ago, Fifree said:

I've read that there's suspicion that Steve Jobs' dietary obsessions contributed to his early demise too... 

Wouldn't surprise me a bit! Didn't he fast for days at a time? 

 

13 hours ago, Fifree said:

you def don't have to be ashamed of your past struggles.

Like trauma, the more I talk about it, the more others share. I haven't met another anorexic person, but a fair number of bulimic people have shared their struggles when I'm open about mine.

 

13 hours ago, Fifree said:

I'm so glad you were cautious with your approach to tapering WellyB.

ME TOO! If I'd followed that dr's orders, I'd have tapered for one week then have CTed by now. I'm feeling like a real mess, but it's comforting to know that I'm not as much of a mess as I would be if I'd blindly followed instructions. I keep having a weird thought about "disappointing" her, which I should probably examine more. I'm not here to not disappoint a doctor, they're here to help me safely take care of my health.