btdt Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Not being able to talk find your way around getting lost all part of this for me... could not think of words spell or think for spells. This all can heal it CAN! I want to know are you still in bed are you vomiting or did it pass. Can you eat something some boiled veggies chicken broth anything? Did you stop the drug completely? how many days without it? did you start it again? I did not get the vomiting till 6 wks after cold turkey that is my experience that is what I know. I think others here have tapered and would know if this is an affect of stopping at the end of taper or not. Please update. What are your physical symptoms right now? For you brain... can you do anything calming...color... hear the ocean on head phones ... walk a hundred miles till your exhausted... go to a lake and watch the birds. Here is one small tidbit that may be helpful... Force yourself to focus on something I don't care what it is pick a thing look at it a long time I like plants or trees as they don't move and are alive. Just keep looking at it see every tiny detail keep looking like your trying to get to know it study it. I have found if I can do this even for a short while the next time it becomes easier and it has a soothing effect. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 I have stoooed completely. I have the worst deoression known to Man. Like a chemical deoression with a horrible taste in my mouth. I can't escape from it. I can't escape the thoughts or feelings. It's just hell and i can't do anything - drink anything or eat. Maybe this will kill me...starvation and dehydration? 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Starvation and dehydration will destroy your body and your mental health (even more) long before they kill you. You'll pass out and wake up in a hospital with an iv in your arm and a body full of meds. Defeats the purpose. I'm not trying to be mean but you have to pull yourself up. You have to make this next move. As sick and tires as you may be, and I am sorry that you are, you have to actively do something to help you feel better no matter what. Find something, even if it isn't the greatest thing ever, and do it. btdt is right, find something, anything. Still rooting for you. Still praying for you. Still believing that you will come through this. You're at a pivotal point and I have faith that you can do this. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 I can't keep anything down though. I think it's the akathisia...it's horrendous. Nothing distracts this hell....I am trying - I really am. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I just had a weird memory - when I was throwing up all the time I was able to keep down baby food. I happen to like the pears and the peaches. Well, like might be a strong word They have the consistency of applesauce - which you might want to try also. Might be worth a shot. I never tried the veggies or the meat - figured the texture would get to me. And I do know that you are trying. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Petu wrote once that she was using baby formula at one time. Ginger, as a tea made with hot water poured over slices of fresh ginger, helps some people...it helped me back in the time I needed it. Muddles, I think and hope that the parts of your brain that seem injured are actually just shut down to protect themselves. There is scientific justification for that possibility. Your fighting is worth it. Write the anger out here are whatever...it is a sign of life. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted September 21, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 21, 2014 Dear Sarah, I know that tyou are struggling dreadfully but please, please, please do what you can do to stop mourning a temporray loss of your forner self and embrace who you are in this very moment. We all think therapy would help you. Not with withdrawal but dealing with emotions or lack thereof resulting from it. Starvation and dehydration will destroy your body and your mental health (even more) long before they kill you. You'll pass out and wake up in a hospital with an iv in your arm and a body full of meds. Defeats the purpose.I'm not trying to be mean but you have to pull yourself up. You have to make this next move. As sick and tired as you may be, and I am sorry that you are, you have to actively do something to help you feel better no matter what.Find something, even if it isn't the greatest thing ever, and do it. btdt is right, find something, anything.Still rooting for you. Still praying for you. Still believing that you will come through this. You're at a pivotal point and I have faith that you can do this. When you post next tell as of one little, however tiny thing you did for this Sarah now in this moment, this sarah now who is rejected in favour of that other happier, pre med Sarah. I believe you are trying but try to come here with a task of telling us what you did for yourself today. Did you try that thing btdt suggested or baby formula that Meimei suggested or other baby food Amy suggested? You have no choice but to survive. And you are making that choice. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted September 21, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 21, 2014 Andy I am not having any theraphy, just dont see a point in it.I just feel something very strange in my forehead and the problem is chemical imbalance which these drug created .Every morning when I wake up it feels like i have been raped in my sleep. counselling helps on many levels it improves your positive thinking and can help you relax and make sense of your situation.You should try it ,you have nothing to lose Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
btdt Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 even tho I feel this way I deeply and completely accept myself That is what I said as I tapped the pressure points in eft on utube ya I likely looked silly but better that than the psych ward... hell no I won't go... I can't say it moved mountains but there was a slight improvement in trying it ... a shift if you will maybe it si part of doing something maybe I have sent this before I am not sure... can you drink some broth... bake a potato .. boil some carrots... a table spoon of bran in mild ...oatmeal... dry toast... crackers and tea... I don't know if you can buy it where you are but gravol the kid kind and only take a quarter of a chewable cherry tablet and have somehting ready to eat... as soon as your gut eases eat what you made ready.... ensure... pediasure do you feel any thing one thing may be better than the other ...salt sweet... fluids were easier for me then real food at some points fluids and crunchy things like crackers you have to eat something or drink something If you can't change something then accepting it is the next step till you can gain the strength to beat it... I am not saying give in completely I am saying making a plan to win... eating the dinosaur eggs rather than confront the animal directly peace to you WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
andy Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 muddles please contact your local mind or rethink.org and get some proffesional support 2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013 December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey 2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey 2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reducedMay 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/ Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I really do appreciate your helo. Please don't think I am one for over-dramatising ....I was never like that at all. I have been able to at least drink some today. I am sorry for banging on about how bad I am...I really am. I am just devestated 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Emphyrio Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Akathisia has to be the worst thing that can affect somebody. If its any consolation I'm extremely bad just now and find that its extremely difficult for me to do anything. Can hardly watch a film or concentrate with all this restlessness. Slowly getting better from multiple drug changes. Holding at 20mg fluoxetine, 150mg pregabalin, 3.75mg mirtazapine until I work through some personal issues. Link to comment
btdt Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I really do appreciate your helo. Please don't think I am one for over-dramatising ....I was never like that at all. I have been able to at least drink some today. I am sorry for banging on about how bad I am...I really am. I am just devestated You don't have to convince me at all I know what it is like. You have to start where you are and go from there. If it gets too bad they can give you iv at the hosp... but they will want to give you other things too be careful of that. inch by inch is how I got thru this a drink is a drink... a mouthful of bran cereal is a mouthful... it all counts. peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 There is no need for a sorry about how you are feeling and the things you are experiencing. Yay you for getting something in! Every little bit does count! Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted September 23, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 23, 2014 We all know how bad you feel Muddles, and every one of us would take it away if we could. Don't try to force meals down or drink gallons, sipping something through a straw throughout the day will help stop you from dehydrating, eating jelly is easy as it just slips down. There are some great suggestions posted, I hope you can try some of them and get some relief however small. Its good that you managed to drink something. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Thanks mamma Symptoms as to yet - Burning skin Agitatation Akathisia Apathy Emotional anesthisia Morbid suicidal thoughts and images Twitching Insomnia Deep deoression Malaise Sinus pressure and achy teeth Heart palpitations Unable to function Do/dr Doom feelings Feels like frontal lobe is dead with a horrible fuzzy feeling Feel like bugs are crawling on my skin Can't hold conversations - dont know what to say Don't get hungry, tired or thirsty. Sickness Itchy skin A general feeling that I have died - lost my soul Overall pretty tortured day in day out. Doesn't look good for me. I want to live people - I want to be back to me....mommy and wife again!!!!!!! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 We are so sorry, but I have to say your writing is much clearer. You may feel some worse as you are more aware of yourself and more able to think and communicate, but I so hope stopping the drug will bring about a gradual turnaround. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Muddles, I'm so very sorry for what your going through, your always in my thought's and prayers. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
btdt Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Thanks mamma Symptoms as to yet - Burning skin Agitatation Akathisia Apathy Emotional anesthisia Morbid suicidal thoughts and images Twitching Insomnia Deep deoression Malaise Sinus pressure and achy teeth Heart palpitations Unable to function Do/dr Doom feelings Feels like frontal lobe is dead with a horrible fuzzy feeling Feel like bugs are crawling on my skin Can't hold conversations - dont know what to say Don't get hungry, tired or thirsty. Sickness Itchy skin A general feeling that I have died - lost my soul Overall pretty tortured day in day out. Doesn't look good for me. I want to live people - I want to be back to me....mommy and wife again!!!!!!! Reading your list broke my heart it really did cause for some reason maybe distance from it.. I had forgotten some of these things. The sinus pressure and aching teeth for instance the burning crawling skin.. I think these things still can be with me in an advanced stage it you will where they are less... or changed. Not the exact same hell they use to be. I have been on a steroid nasal spray for months now... don't always use it as I think it makes my stomach hurt. Something called oil pulling seems to take some of the pressure away tho it caused a bit of nausea... found it on another site... put a bit of oil 1 teaspoon in you mouth and pull it thru you teeth and kind of suck on it seems to help to what I can recall. I still have this sinus issue and think that my use of aloe vera juice from the health food store may be helping with it. Apparently it is good for treating inflammation and maybe that is the reason. Some have reported using this juice to help with dental issues. I have dental issues too and think it may be helping with that too. I am not saying it will cure both it may do no good for you at all but it cost 12 bucks to find out. I take a capful less than an ounce... I wonder if anyone else here or anywhere has ever had a reaction to this juice when in hard withdrawal...if they have I have never read it not yet. I do so wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 Thanks bdtd. I'm losing this battle...too much. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted September 24, 2014 Member Share Posted September 24, 2014 Your signature does not yet reflect that you jumped off your meds. It would be normal for you to feel all the symptoms you are feeling and for quite some time until your body adjusts to the absence of the drug. It is up to you to direct your body, not the other way around. You have to feed it 3 meals a day whether you are hungry or not and walk a half an hour a day whether you want to or not. You have to drink liquids even if you aren't thirsty. You have to make yourself do these things if you want to get better. It won't happen if you just roll over and do nothing to help yourself. You have to do these things and expect not to see any results for a long, long time. It will get better but I will understand it if you don't want to try what I have suggested. Not wanting to is a wd symptom as is repeating how bad things are and saying you will never recover. We just can't help it and you will keep doing it untill the compulsion goes away. That's how it is. I do it too. Are you going to hang in there? I hope so! What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 It will get better in time, my dear friend. Keep breathing. Take it one step at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time and your life will come back to you. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 Thank you. I cannot eat - it just comes back uo. I am drinking though. My head is tortured, and my body. I'm sorry guys...I really am. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted September 26, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thanks bubbles I have stopped it altogether. I had ran out of tablets and the utter apathy prevents me from doing anything - no more tabs. I must admit my head is clearer...doesn't feel so dead. I'm scared I have shot myself in the foot but I wasn't getting anywhere with slow reduction. I don't know what to expect now. I am already disabled and feeling very damaged. I need a time machine! Go back to when my kids were babies and savour every minute. I miss being able to love them. What mother deserves this? What mother can live this way. Torture beyond belief and I am devastated and traumatised. Is this really happening? The sentence I highlighted is an improvement Muddles, I know it isn't much consolation right now when you feel so bad but I agree that you seem clearer in your posts, I only wish that you could see what we can see, that you are improving in some things but it is very hard to see it when you are the one suffering. The nausea will be withdrawal and will settle, I find ginger tea is brilliant for the nausea. I make mine by peeling a ginger root then smashing it with a hammer or my marble rolling pin,( which is very therapeutic), then chop it in the blender/chopper thingy. I keep it in a jar in the fridge and put a teaspoon in hot water with a slice of lemon. I get nausea after a cut and the ginger plus the fish oil really seem to help. Still here for you and sending a huge Mamma hug. xx **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 Thank you mamma! Seems like my body is rejecting or having adverse effects to anything I out in my body...managing a banana every day and some fluid. This deoression is excruciating - and constant suicidal thoughts....feel somewhat verging oychosis....black in the head! How can a depression feel so torturous...like I'm being burnt inside? 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
westcoast Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I think this is a wholly new experience since the advent of the drugs. I have a great deal of trouble articulating how I "feel" because it doesn't fit into any box.What I used to call depression felt sad, lethargic, and made me overeat.This is a brittle, fragile, agitated state, and all it has in common with depression, for me, is suicidality. Well, that and inaction.I feel like I am craving some drug, but I can't put a finger on what it is. My head (scalp? skull? brain?) always feels tingly and burny. My hands and feet throb/tingle with my pulse all day. I awaken with my heart beating hard, and panicky intrusive thoughts.I think there is a physical "neuropathy" component to what ails us. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 M my son is crippled with anxiety tonight...what have I done to them. I can't look after myself I need to be that mother 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 Yes west coast - normal deoression. How I wish it was that...can't believe I'm wishing normal deoression. God damn you GSK! God f***ng damn you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Muddles, I right there with you, my 7 year old son has been an anxious nervous wreck for the past year and half. i can't even look at him without bursting into tears because it's my fault he's this way. I feel the same about the depression, I would love to have your good old run of the mill depression, pretty sad to want that right?? You have been so kind to me going through your worst, words can't express gratitude. I wish i could be that supportive, my mind doesn't allow me to express emotions or how I feel, I hate it!!!! Your are so strong. I just wanted to check in on you, you are always in my thoughts and prayers Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Muddles Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Don't apologise - I know that feeling of not being able to support as much as we usually would. It's the worst feeling in the world knowing how this is affecting our children's uo-bringing...especially as we cannot do anything about it. I know when I had my original normal anxiety, my kids didn't know or it didn't effect them what-so-ever. You are strong too...I'm just so sorry you have to be this way. Magic wand needed please! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Can somebody please tell me when this horrible toxic feeling deoression will go? I can't bare it any longer...It's hell! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 1, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 1, 2014 I wish I had an answer for you Muddles, I really do. All I know is that eventually, everyone recovers, some people take longer than others. Its morning there in the UK isn't it? Its mid-afternoon here in Australia. Do you usually feel worse in the mornings? I do. Yesterday when I was feeling bad I watched a few of the recovery videos on cepuk.org, it helped. Hang in there, do what you can to get through these difficult moments as you are healing. ((hugs)) I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Thanks Peru. Did you get the horrible toxic deoression feeling? Definitely worse in the morning. I'm also starting to lose sleep....I miss that wake up in the night, look at the clock and just roll over back to sleep. It's kind of like no restful sleep at all...my brain doesn't get tired anymore :-( 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 I just wished I wasn't going through this at the most important time of my children's life...it's so hard. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 1, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 1, 2014 Yes, I got the toxic depression, it would alternate with extreme anxiety and akathisia. I'm still going through the same cycles, but the intensity has reduced. I still wake up through the night, but now, I'm able to go back to sleep within a few minutes. For a while I was having a lot more trouble. At first, late 2011/early 2012, I was getting very little sleep at all, but then that slowly improved and I could sleep a little longer, but would wake around 4:30 and not be able to go back to sleep. For about 2 years, the only reason I was wanting to stay alive was for my daughter, but now, some of the time I'm able to want to be alive for myself. I'm not sure, but I think you recently stopped taking the last of your mirtazapine? Or are you still on 9mg as you have in your signature? I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 No Petu - I stopped altogether. I couldn't get to the chemist and I had not felt any different coming down doing the slow taper. I still don't feel much different. I suppose I'm waiting for accute to kick in which I'm really scared about! I'm pleased to see you have made improvements. This gives me hope. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
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