Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted November 22, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 22, 2014 Hi Muddles, I was going to post the link for flux, but I see BTDT found it. It helps a lot, I use it and like CW, have it running during the day too. I also have my screen brightness turned way down, I don't think I could use my computer now at full brightness, even when I do recover. Psychosis is basically losing touch with reality and you seem very much in touch with reality, not a pleasant reality, but you seem quite clear about what's going on. Thank you for posting on my thread when you are going through such torment yourself. I'm so sorry you are dealing with the aka again, I've gone through a lot of it, waves and then its stopped for a while, then returned, getting less each time. It will stop eventually, I know it doesn't seem like it ever will when you are right in the middle of it, but it does stop. Hang in there. Also, has anyone ever suffered with aching gums and teeth and visual problems when looking at a computer or phone screen? It's really bad. I've had a lot of this, but I'm not sure its connected with computer screens, it may be because I do spend a lot of time online. I find that when I'm in a wave, or when my symptoms are bad generally, my vision goes blurry, I get brain fog, upper body tension, often including aching jaw and neck. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
btdt Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I will second everything Petu just said... hope this day is better...peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Aww Muddles, i am sorry that you are feeling yet another wave. Remind yourself that they do pass and how far you have come. It will get better. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 Thanks all. I am so grateful for your words...it helps so much. I can't respond individually...so hard, but thank you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Ugh - things getting worse here. Can't look at screens or light without heaving...even with the new settings. Insomnia is BAD...waking after a couple of hours into doom and heart palpitations. The brain dead feeling is back. My whole head feels numb....even to touch. I feel I have no blood flow going to frontal lobe. This had eased up after coming off mirtazapine but now back...worse. I was expecting withdrawel but was praying for a couple of more months of feeling a little better - just until after Christmas. Wasn't to be. Scared again...back in the hell. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 I can't find anyone on here with this awful head symptom. Like its dead and my emotions, stress or any other feeling is locked away - like I can't release it! What is this? I 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 So sorry your feeling bad 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 I've entered hell 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I wrote some things about supplements (two posts) on tryingtosurvive's thread. I don't know if it would help either of you, but you can read it if you want to. This suffering just hurts my heart. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Hugs Mudds xx The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Thank you both. I really can't see me getting out of this alive. Akathisia is a killer and torture beyond words. Us humans are not made to stand such hell. I am beyond words as to how this feels. On top is insomnia. Receipe for disaster. I'm sorry I am so bleak right now. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Can someone advise what I can do when I can't eat? I cannot stomach anything and have lost a lot of weight this year as it is...I cannot lose anymore. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 When I had hepatitis the first food I went back to was mashed potatoes (because someone made it for me). Then chicken. I would think things that are easy to digest, and maybe just one food type at a time. Some people have used Ensure, or even baby formula. Things that sound good are things that might sit better. Eating tiny amounts at tiny intervals. Just force yourself to sample things to stay alive. Imagine holding your first grandchild. The fight is worth it. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
tgirl Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I've been surviving on toast and yogurt. April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 baby food. I do the pears. And, chicken broth. I hope that you get something in. Sometimes I just had to suck it up and eat even if I didn't want to, even if it was only 1 bite. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted November 24, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 24, 2014 The protein drinks might be good, my daughter is having gastric problems right now and is taking those regularly because she is losing too much weight. I like porridge when I cant eat much, with almond milk. When I had gallstones and couldn't eat much I lived on bananas and wraps, mashed the banana on the wrap and rolled it up, I still have that most days. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
mlrp Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Just checking in with another "Mirt buddy." I'm with you in your battle, Muddles. I had horrible, weird head pressure almost from day one of being on Mirt, and pretty much live with it. In fact, one of the ways I know a window is opening is that the head pressure lifts. I know this is nothing compared to other things you are dealing with now, but did want to look in and send a gentle <hug> from underneath my own wave. Don't worry about replying - just know I care, my friend. Hold on. 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 I apologise to those I cannot support at the moment. I cannot look at my phone screen for long - I've tried to download the app that everyone has told me about but I have to jailbreak my phone - whatever that means? Looking at phone screens or computer makes me really ill...internal terror. Eating anything also does this - along with un-controllable crying. Today has been the worst day ever. It's worse than hell. I will hopefully be able to get back to you guys soon - once I sort my phone and computer out. Has anyone had this please? Everything is making me sick! The one bit of distraction was the computer and now I can't have that. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 And I don't want mirtazapine users to think this will be them and get scared. I have a history of adverse side effects and was in poop-out. Very different scenario. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted November 26, 2014 Member Share Posted November 26, 2014 https://justgetflux.com/ios.html for iPad and iPhone, no jb required as far as I know. On my android I use Twilight. If you are Symbian or something else weird, I don't know. Windows phone here. HTH. If you need computer help, PM me or see the link in my profile. This will pass, really it will. I couldn't stay off my devices so I just turned down the brightness on everything: phone, TV, tablet, computer. It helps in addition to the color temp changer program. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Bless you, thank you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
mlrp Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Please don't fret about getting back to people, Muddles. Take care of YOU, first and foremost. <<hug>> 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I can't find anyone on here with this awful head symptom. Like its dead and my emotions, stress or any other feeling is locked away - like I can't release it! What is this? I I've has this. Like it's down there somewhere but u can't get it out. I have no idea what it is and I've had in on some level for months. So sorry for u. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I apologise to those I cannot support at the moment. I cannot look at my phone screen for long - I've tried to download the app that everyone has told me about but I have to jailbreak my phone - whatever that means? Looking at phone screens or computer makes me really ill...internal terror. Eating anything also does this - along with un-controllable crying. Today has been the worst day ever. It's worse than hell. I will hopefully be able to get back to you guys soon - once I sort my phone and computer out. Has anyone had this please? Everything is making me sick! The one bit of distraction was the computer and now I can't have that. Yes. Been there. Today is awful. I can only eat 14 foods and I'm down twenty pounds in two months. The tv and phone made me sick for a long time, still do off and on. I'm with u. I wake up with sweats and palpitations, which I think is because of hormones, I have stopped having my period because of rapid weight loss. I don't know how people deal with this. I pray we both feel better soon. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I feel like those of us who were in "poop out" and who CT or rapid tapered should have our own section on the forum. Honestly, it's just a whole different ballgame. It's like WD on steroids. I read about people's tapers over months or years and their symptoms, and I feel like I'm speaking a different language. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
btdt Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I apologise to those I cannot support at the moment. I cannot look at my phone screen for long - I've tried to download the app that everyone has told me about but I have to jailbreak my phone - whatever that means? Looking at phone screens or computer makes me really ill...internal terror. Eating anything also does this - along with un-controllable crying. Today has been the worst day ever. It's worse than hell. I will hopefully be able to get back to you guys soon - once I sort my phone and computer out. Has anyone had this please? Everything is making me sick! The one bit of distraction was the computer and now I can't have that. Yes had it ... include smells and sun and noise... any noise. All of it will go away I promise it will. You don't need to apologies we have all been there and know what you are going thru well some of us have rest all you can be kind to you. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thanks btdt. What about tardive dysphoria? Will that go away? We I ever feel love again? Because I can't bare to think my life is just this....an existence. I just can't. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Ok, so I have now found out I cannot tolerate any cleaning products, perfumes or anything which contains any chemicals. I found this out yesterday as I woke up feeling a little clearer. I started to clean the kitchen surface with a spray and BOOM....so sick. This is getting beyond a joke. I literally cannot participate in any life what-so-ever. I am not living and just existing as even when I feel that little bit better I cannot do anything. I still have no emotions and have lived like this for a year now and everything is just getting worse. I had a eeg ordered by a neurologist. I had explained my situation to the guy who carried this out and he was shocked that I was out on such a heavy med for anxiety. He explained that these tests just show structural damage and that my test looked normal. How can that be? How can I feel so damaged and nothing show? I still plan to push for a spect scan at some point as what I feel is that blood flow is restricted in my head and I know of some who have had this test and had this showing. I am beginning to feel I have no hope. What I have to live with every minute of the day is just torture and nothing more. Dopamine and seretonin just does not exist in my brain and God only knows what other parts of my brain are not functioning. I don't feel like I am healing. Everything in my brain feels dead - as if I need some kind of jump start. I am a vegetable who is good for nothing. I'm sick of life right now as life is just not life...i want a life so bad and have everything to live for, yet it has been taken away and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I tried accepting it for what it is, but accepting this life is like accepting a death sentance...I just can't anymore. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
luv2knit Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Muddles, I wish I had something to offer you. I am so new to this myself. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Sorry your feeling so awful.. What is a spect scan? Xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 It's a better picture of the brain. Thank you. The trial for these drugs is 6 weeks. We have all been pharma's guinea pigs. Now we know the outcome of long term/adverse reactions - don't you think it's about time we were took seriously? Don't you think that we have the right to be recognised by doctors as having a drug induced injury instead of a psychiatric condition? If I were taking mdma for 6 years in sure it would be on my records as having a drug induced condition. Why is this any different? These legal drug pushers are killing people everyday...where is our justice? After all - you give someone heroin and they die...you go to prison. I just can't get my head around just how wrong this all is!! RANT over. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
mlrp Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 I love your rants, Muddles. I am SO with you in this! I KNOW that one day this horror will be recognized for what it is. <<sending you a gentle hug and hope for peace and healing>> 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Hey there. I'm struggling too. Pretty bad. Maybe worst I've been mentally. I'm sorry you are too. I pray we find a window soon. We have to survive. We just have to. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 2, 2014 Author Share Posted December 2, 2014 Will it though mlrp? People think I'm crazy! God help pharma if I ever go psychotic - I'll will be shooting the mother f***ers! Hope you're holding out. JDM - surviving is all this situation is about. How sad! Thinking of you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 I completely agree with your rant. lol. And I have a doctor who tells me to my face that AD don't have withdrawls. REALLY! He isn't on them so I am not sure how he has come to this conclusion. IDIOT! I am on my own and really suffering as well though my poison is Paxil. My 14 year old son was put on Seroquel a few years ago as well which makes me even more mad. He is aware of all of this and wants to taper but I have to get myself under control first. SO ANGRY! Also I read that you have issues with eating. Can you tolerate fruit? I am vegetarian and I often blend bananas, mango, dates, and water in the blender. Oh man is it ever good and because it is blended it releases the natural enzymes and your system doesn't have much to do to digest it. If you don't have a strong blender just don't uses dates and add some stevia drops for extra sweetness. Just a thought. Hope you find some inner peace soon. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Will it though mlrp? People think I'm crazy! God help pharma if I ever go psychotic - I'll will be shooting the mother f***ers! Hope you're holding out. JDM - surviving is all this situation is about. How sad! Thinking of you. Better still, make them take the pills. Put them on a nice cocktail of high does of antipsychotics, ssris, benzos and other delights and then yank them off quickly. Then make up psychiatric labels for them and give them more drugs. Then let them stay in a psych hospital and be ignored by staff when they are in distress and told off for not sitting still when they have raging akathisia. Tell them they are lucky to have such a great life, that it could be a lot worse and make them feel useless. Just for starters. Angry?? Me??? I used to be such a serene person before these stupid drugs! The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
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