JesusSavemefromWD: only 3.5 weeks sertraline enough to destroy me

[JesusSavemefromWD]

5 minutes ago, FeralCatman said:

•  

I had a thought that may or may not help you. I am wondering if what you are going through has any parallels to those with a TBI. People do recover from TBI's. If so, could any of the recovery techniques applied to help with a TBI be useful in your case?

I am pretty sure what I have suffered from Zoloft is a kind of TBI but nothing showed in my brain scan so it is not a “structural damage” but a “functional damage. I cannot for the life of me find a good explanation of why I am not recovering but I really am not. I have tried some techniques, nothing helps. Only things that help a bit is eating and sleeping. My case is severe and I doubt I ll make it through this but I am so great full for all the people reaching out to support me and I pray for your recovery. I don’t know why I have been so severely damaged by such a short time on Zoloft, but there are some cases like mine all over the web so i am not alone. I am trying every day to survive this brutal reality and go to sleep hoping next day will be the day I turn the corner. I don’t want to scare people with the severity of my symptoms but I think i have to post the truth of my case because maybe one day idiot doctors will understand how dangerous these drugs are. I was an active mother, wife, working full time as a neuroscientist, hard cardio exercise weekly, dancing, travelling, cooking, socializing , speaker in conferences, attending church …. a go go happy woman who just experienced some chest tightness… and after few weeks on Zoloft sure the tightness went away but I became a depersonalized, anhedonic zombie with distorted vision and bouts of long hours of Akathisia almost every day…. Completely dysfunctional, mostly bedridden…. Even in bed I suffer …. Doctors have mentally murdered me and if anyone is reading this considering to start an antidepressant…. For the love of God, please don’t ….

I try not to loose hope and if the DP would go I could push through the other symptoms, but the DP is so severe and deep that I feel a ghost buried in my body, and it’s been for so long with minor improvements….. I am trying to maintain hope that I ll heal one day but honestly things don’t look promising at all…. Hoping to a miracle that seems to not be coming…. I am very proud of myself surviving 14+ months of this non stop torture, but I really don’t know how much longer I can do it. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart…..

[JesusSavemefromWD]

23 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

Thank you Jesus, you will be fine too. Don't loose hope!! 

It sounds like you're lost in an emotional spiral(understandable...me too haha). Try to get the heck out of there, you will heal as baylissa said trust her. 

Is there anything you can do and cope with you're situation? 

Like painting down you're expirience. 

And do you have the possibility that some therapist comes to you're house once a week? 

Greetings 

Kosta

No therapist can help when the mental torture of Akathisia gets me on my knees for hours and hours. This site and success stories is helping much more than any therapist. Therapy would have been ideal if it had been suggested to me for my chest pain instead of Zoloft. Now my symptoms are so severe I can barely talk …..,

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

Keep posting the truth. This site is used for research and besides that we want to know how you are really doing. Your mental health is more important than worrying if you will scare people.

[benesh]

Yes Jesus. Torutre is an understatement. I am impressed with your ability to write coherent and impactful thoughts. If it werent for Jesus and my devotion, I do not know how I would survive. The other week I found a youtube talking about mental anguish for  the suffering saint. The YouTube is by Aaron Kim. I too lack hope these days. Which makes no sense since I follow the God of all hope but my mind screams death and despair mostly 24/7. Wish there was a place we could all go where responsibilities were nonexistent and hope could be infused into our veins. So tired of this horrifc ride. Sounds as if many on your thread are offering ideas and support. 
Praying for peace for you and radical healing…against all odds I know but praying for the impossible in this impossible situation.

[kostakonkordia]

@benesh

Why do you lack hope benesh?? 

No its not impossible, I know I don't belive it myselfe sometimes BUT you have my handshake that you all will heal. It's impossible that you don't heal. Trust baylissas words. 

You are the bravest people among all of humans I belive, war, abusement etc i don't want to belittle these experiences but it seems like peanuts compared to the torture you are living through... 

But it heals. 

Greetings 

Kosta 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

32 minutes ago, benesh said:

Yes Jesus. Torutre is an understatement. I am impressed with your ability to write coherent and impactful thoughts. If it werent for Jesus and my devotion, I do not know how I would survive. The other week I found a youtube talking about mental anguish for  the suffering saint. The YouTube is by Aaron Kim. I too lack hope these days. Which makes no sense since I follow the God of all hope but my mind screams death and despair mostly 24/7. Wish there was a place we could all go where responsibilities were nonexistent and hope could be infused into our veins. So tired of this horrifc ride. Sounds as if many on your thread are offering ideas and support. 
Praying for peace for you and radical healing…against all odds I know but praying for the impossible in this impossible situation.

I can “hear” the emotional pain in your writing. I am sorry for what those evil drugs have done to you. I am a person of faith as well but to be honest these last months the mental torture is so bad that my faith is challenged. But I know even if I give up on God, He will not give up on us and every night I go to bed I hope I ll wake up to a miracle of feeling human again. 
My cognition skills have not been affected by this Zoloft poison, which is a surprise considering how much it has messed up my brain. So I can express my thoughts ok. 
I can’t offer much to help you or me or anyone else here other than include you in my prayers. 
I wish I could force down the throat of my ex doctor and the president of Pfizer some Zoloft and have them suffer instead of me. Can’t do that, but if I ever recover I have a whole plan in mind about fighting these poisons. I also have in mind to say some nice Greek words to Pfizer president as I recently found out he is half Greek. stay strong…the fact we still suffer tremendously doesnt mean we will never heal…. that’s the thought that keeps me going…. Maybe we just need a bit more time ..,, maybe. 
 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

As I bite my own fist to distract from the unbearable Akathisia pain , two thoughts are constantly going through in loops in my mind “ why are these drugs considered harmless?” And “will this torture ever end?” 
I have to answer yes to the second question to be able to just survive one more day…. Did I mention I only took this poison for 3.5 weeks? Yea … I am sure I did …. May God keep us strong through this torture. 

[Greatful]

I can so relate to all that is said here, the anger at these drugs and doctors, the tomorrow will be better right, How can I get through the day, will I heal and function again.

Yes, I think we also need to talk about the horrors and the unhuman pain we feel too.  We need to encourage and help each other too but being able to express the pain is a part of healing too.

 

I will join your crusade in the speaking out about these drugs when we are healed and have the strength to do so..............

 

My heart goes out to us all.

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

27 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I can so relate to all that is said here, the anger at these drugs and doctors, the tomorrow will be better right, How can I get through the day, will I heal and function again.

Yes, I think we also need to talk about the horrors and the unhuman pain we feel too.  We need to encourage and help each other too but being able to express the pain is a part of healing too.

 

I will join your crusade in the speaking out about these drugs when we are healed and have the strength to do so..............

 

My heart goes out to us all.

 

🙏….. may God help us all…. 

[FeralCatman]

@JesusSavemefromWDWhat has been done to all of us who post here on these boards is just down right rotten. I keep thinking 'this is what I get for asking for help? How the h*** was this help?' I actually told my PNP that I would have been better off being an alcoholic. At least withdrawal from that is well studied and there is lots of support for people out there who are trying to quit. As I stated in my write up it was all done with good intentions but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. None of these meds were adequately tested over the long haul or even the short haul and once approved doctors don't question things they just prescribe it. Having been in the Submarine Service many years ago I have had some unique and very tough experiences compared to the average person. I can't discuss details of course but going through this is far tougher than anything I ever encountered in the military or anywhere else. This is far and away the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Nothing else comes close. We all need a place to vent our anger over what was done and this is the place to do it. We all get it in a way that most people cannot. Researchers who are looking at all of this from the outside need to hear that part of it as well. So.....vent away I say 😉😺😺😺😺

[FeralCatman]

@JesusSavemefromWD Posting here is part of fighting back against the system that did this to us. As a result of all of the stories and articles posted on these boards medicine at large is finally taking notice that there are problems with these medications that were never addressed and need to be. As stated in the New Years email from SurvivingAntidepressants, the UK Royal College of Psychiatry has issued some of the first official guidelines regarding withdrawal and that the problem of withdrawal needs to be better studied and addressed. Those guidelines were developed in part from information posted on this web site. So keep posting and in doing that you are already fighting back and making a difference. Well done for being brave enough to share and contribute. 👍

[JesusSavemefromWD]

4 minutes ago, FeralCatman said:

@JesusSavemefromWD Posting here is part of fighting back against the system that did this to us. As a result of all of the stories and articles posted on these boards medicine at large is finally taking notice that there are problems with these medications that were never addressed and need to be. As stated in the New Years email from SurvivingAntidepressants, the UK Royal College of Psychiatry has issued some of the first official guidelines regarding withdrawal and that the problem of withdrawal needs to be better studied and addressed. Those guidelines were developed in part from information posted on this web site. So keep posting and in doing that you are already fighting back and making a difference. Well done for being brave enough to share and contribute. 👍

Withdrawal is slowly starting to be recognized by some knowledgeable doctors and I am sure in 3-5 years things will get better . However, adverse reactions like mine lack recognition… Hard to convince family and friends what I have been suffering over 14 months is a result of few weeks on Zoloft more than a year ago but my husband and current doctor believe me and that’s all I need. I miss myself, I miss my life, I miss my family… i was ok before zoloft I was happy…. I feel lobotomized and to be honest I am starting to loose hope in my recovery after so many months off. Thank you for your messages …. I pray ur tapering is going well …. God bless you… 

[BelaLugosi]

@JesusSavemefromWD I took Zoloft too, for 4.5 months. do u relate to feeling like life is meaningless? I too used to be a very lighthearted person

[JesusSavemefromWD]

14 minutes ago, BelaLugosi said:

@JesusSavemefromWD I took Zoloft too, for 4.5 months. do u relate to feeling like life is meaningless? I too used to be a very lighthearted person

I am sorry to hear you were put in this poison as well. No I don’t feel like is pointless, I want to live and I want to do so many simple everyday things but I simply can’t … Akathisia tortures me so hard that I can hardly take a 10 minutes walk and Dpdr makes everything look scary and fake so I can’t even lift my head and look around me cause I realize how detached I am from reality and loose my mind…. Pure torture 

[Oaktree1]

On 1/3/2022 at 9:07 PM, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Keep posting the truth. This site is used for research and besides that we want to know how you are really doing. Your mental health is more important than worrying if you will scare people.

 Dear @JesusSavemefromWD

 

I second this - I hope there will be respite for you.  Until then you can only bear witness and live day to day.  I think everyone who writes here on this board is forming a sea of lived experience of iatrogenic damage against the pharmaceutical and psychiatric lie.  

 

Oaktree1

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, Oaktree1 said:

 Dear @JesusSavemefromWD

 

I second this - I hope there will be respite for you.  Until then you can only bear witness and live day to day.  I think everyone who writes here on this board is forming a sea of lived experience of iatrogenic damage against the pharmaceutical and psychiatric lie.  

 

Oaktree1

Thank you…. It is really not my intention to scare people but expose the nude truth of what even short exposure to these poisons can do to people. I also need all the prayers and support I can get ….. thank you 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Tonight feels the worst I have been since my adverse reaction. My head is spinning, my brain feels on fire, my faces is getting a bit numb, buzzing through my head, vision more distorted than ever…. Sleep is not coming …. Haven’t changed anything or taken anything that could have brought this…..Zoloft did a real damage to my brain … it’s unbelievable the torture I am going through so many months and particularly tonight … I am scared for my life but I know there is no where to go to get help ….May God help me survive tonight as well…

[Overwhelmedlady]

Dear @JesusSavemefromWD You will get through this night even if it seems like the worst.I wasn't going to enter the forum but I did because I know that you generally post late at night.I have been through horrific sleepless nights for a whole year,this is my second year off meds and I sleep not more than 5 or 6 hours .I have fatigue ,visual issues among other lasting symptoms but, most of the physical symptoms have disappeared .I can only offer my support and insist on my suggestion to consult a well known critical psychiatrist.There might be some tools to alleviate your symptoms that we might not know. You don't need to explain to me anything because I have been reading your posts but I believe that you should explore whatever options are available ,an appointment via zoom in this case, so that a doctor can analyse your specific circumstances and give you a well grounded opinion. I am sending you a big hug and hope you get through this night and feel some relief .Try to relax,breathe and let's hope you can sleep .You are a strong lady and this awful night will pass.🌹🤗

[JesusSavemefromWD]

12 hours ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Dear @JesusSavemefromWD You will get through this night even if it seems like the worst.I wasn't going to enter the forum but I did because I know that you generally post late at night.I have been through horrific sleepless nights for a whole year,this is my second year off meds and I sleep not more than 5 or 6 hours .I have fatigue ,visual issues among other lasting symptoms but, most of the physical symptoms have disappeared .I can only offer my support and insist on my suggestion to consult a well known critical psychiatrist.There might be some tools to alleviate your symptoms that we might not know. You don't need to explain to me anything because I have been reading your posts but I believe that you should explore whatever options are available ,an appointment via zoom in this case, so that a doctor can analyse your specific circumstances and give you a well grounded opinion. I am sending you a big hug and hope you get through this night and feel some relief .Try to relax,breathe and let's hope you can sleep .You are a strong lady and this awful night will pass.🌹🤗

Thank you for your message… I got 4-5 hrs of sleep and woke up in the same hell. I have spoke with 2 psychiatrists one of them is quite often referred in this site as a very good and knowledgeable psychiatrist, they both told me I have three options. Taking into account my unbearable situation 14+ months out they suggested 1. Reinstate Zoloft 2. Try benzos 3. Try Prozac; one of them also suggested a low dose of an antipsychotic cause she saw in how much distress I was. 

I feel my brain so damaged that I don’t know if it can tolerate any drugs at this point but my situation is not livable anymore I swear to God. All day long I am in bed moaning with severe inner Akathisia (it does subside late afternoon) and so bad Dpdr that I try to keep my eyes closed all the time to reduce the feeling of disconnection. If I get out of bed for few minutes I feel like a chicken walking around without a head , that’s how severe my DP is. I really don’t see any point keep waiting for a miraculous lift of DP after over a year … I don’t have such a hope anymore…. I am at despair mainly because of the DPdr and distorted reality due to weird visual issues. I don’t think I can last much longer like this …. But scared to death of reinstating and making things worst … I didn’t have this constant Dpdr while on low doses or Zoloft (10mg) , I had other bad side effects but much preferred than this dreadful Dpdr that became very severe and constant after dropping below 5-6mg Zoloft. I spoke with a girl who suffered as severe dpdr as mine but from ecstasy and she said she prefers cancer over this and I agree. She got out of this horrible DP by few months on Zoloft … the exact same drug that brought this to me after I discontinued it…it’s a mess, it’s hell on earth, it’s playing Russian roulette with our brain…. I was ok before zoloft, very ok, happy … human … now I am a zombie investing my hopes on the same drug that damaged me … satanic situation that I have no idea how to get out from..,,, May God guide me …. I am lost…

[Greatful]

This can be so scary and unrelenting at times.  I know all about the burning brain, numbness on the face and the  buzzing brain.  This has pretty constant for around  9-10 months.  The intensity is getting better, but in horrible waves/or over stimulated it get worse.  

Hopefully this is a sign that some major work is getting done on your brain and things will be better then before.  That's what they say around here.  When it is the worst the brain is working hard and then many have claimed to feel better once the wave passes.

Did you ever read the story "What's Happening in Your Brain" by a woman recovering from Benzo?  It really helps me when I get to the end of cliff and start to wonder if I will ever heal with all the crazy things going on with me.  Here is a link if your interested

http://What is happening in your brain?

 

Here is a link the Documentary Medicating Normal.  this is their web site.  You can rent it for a small fee http:// www.medicatingnormal.com 

 

Hopefully these both will give a boost of encouragement to get through this horrible time.

Please know that many of us  feel your pain and wish we could do more for you❤️

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, Greatful said:

This can be so scary and unrelenting at times.  I know all about the burning brain, numbness on the face and the  buzzing brain.  This has pretty constant for around  9-10 months.  The intensity is getting better, but in horrible waves/or over stimulated it get worse.  

Hopefully this is a sign that some major work is getting done on your brain and things will be better then before.  That's what they say around here.  When it is the worst the brain is working hard and then many have claimed to feel better once the wave passes.

Did you ever read the story "What's Happening in Your Brain" by a woman recovering from Benzo?  It really helps me when I get to the end of cliff and start to wonder if I will ever heal with all the crazy things going on with me.  Here is a link if your interested

http://What is happening in your brain?

 

Here is a link the Documentary Medicating Normal.  this is their web site.  You can rent it for a small fee http:// www.medicatingnormal.com 

 

Hopefully these both will give a boost of encouragement to get through this horrible time.

Please know that many of us  feel your pain and wish we could do more for you❤️

Thank you … still hard to believe so severe suffering after just few weeks of Zoloft…  when I feel my brain burning and like things walking inside my skull and my face going numb I say to myself what you said “it’s ok, some receptors are probably regenerating themselves, it’s a good thing”… I just don’t know how much longer I can say this and keep suffering so badly. I really feel I ll loose my life if I don’t do smg like reinstating and praying it works … it’s that bad…, thank you again. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

7 minutes ago, Greatful said:

This can be so scary and unrelenting at times.  I know all about the burning brain, numbness on the face and the  buzzing brain.  This has pretty constant for around  9-10 months.  The intensity is getting better, but in horrible waves/or over stimulated it get worse.  

Hopefully this is a sign that some major work is getting done on your brain and things will be better then before.  That's what they say around here.  When it is the worst the brain is working hard and then many have claimed to feel better once the wave passes.

Did you ever read the story "What's Happening in Your Brain" by a woman recovering from Benzo?  It really helps me when I get to the end of cliff and start to wonder if I will ever heal with all the crazy things going on with me.  Here is a link if your interested

http://What is happening in your brain?

 

Here is a link the Documentary Medicating Normal.  this is their web site.  You can rent it for a small fee http:// www.medicatingnormal.com 

 

Hopefully these both will give a boost of encouragement to get through this horrible time.

Please know that many of us  feel your pain and wish we could do more for you❤️

Are you feeling better as you keep tapering?

[kostakonkordia]

@JesusSavemefromWD

I think it's best if you ask altostrata, before you do anything. 

If i was you I wouldn't reinstate, God knows how you will react. And what are benzos gonna do? You can only take them max 2 weeks and then you get addicted. Benzo withdrawal is horrible too. It seems very interesting to me that these psychiatrists only solution is to give meds again??? Why Prozac? 

At least to me it doesn't make sense at all if you had an adverse reaction. 

Greetings 

Kosta 

[kostakonkordia]

@JesusSavemefromWD

I have heard of an concept called healing crisis(maybe read on it), this may explain you're worsening symptoms. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

@JesusSavemefromWD

I think it's best if you ask altostrata, before you do anything. 

If i was you I wouldn't reinstate, God knows how you will react. And what are benzos gonna do? You can only take them max 2 weeks and then you get addicted. Benzo withdrawal is horrible too. It seems very interesting to me that these psychiatrists only solution is to give meds again??? Why Prozac? 

At least to me it doesn't make sense at all if you had an adverse reaction. 

Greetings 

Kosta 

Yea I have rejected benzo choice , will only offer temporary relief but some psychiatrists think it helps Akathisia . My worst symptom is dpdr though. I did have adverse reaction but felt 100 times worst after stopping completely… my life is at risk I really have to do smg … Prozac has a longer half life and cuts theoretically easier to withdraw in the future plus I am a normal metabolizer for Prozac while a rapid for Zoloft and being a rapid metabolizer isn’t good. thanks anyways 

[kostakonkordia]

I understand you're desperation and it's hard to read what you are expiriencing but doing something about it brought you in youre situation(me too). Doctors always want to do something about it instead of waiting. Most psychological problems resolve over time... 

Please contact Altostrata!!! 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

This can be so scary and unrelenting at times.  I know all about the burning brain, numbness on the face and the  buzzing brain.  This has pretty constant for around  9-10 months.  The intensity is getting better, but in horrible waves/or over stimulated it get worse.  

Hopefully this is a sign that some major work is getting done on your brain and things will be better then before.  That's what they say around here.  When it is the worst the brain is working hard and then many have claimed to feel better once the wave passes.

Did you ever read the story "What's Happening in Your Brain" by a woman recovering from Benzo?  It really helps me when I get to the end of cliff and start to wonder if I will ever heal with all the crazy things going on with me.  Here is a link if your interested

http://What is happening in your brain?

 

Here is a link the Documentary Medicating Normal.  this is their web site.  You can rent it for a small fee http:// www.medicatingnormal.com 

 

Hopefully these both will give a boost of encouragement to get through this horrible time.

Please know that many of us  feel your pain and wish we could do more for you❤️

I just finished watching the movie , it wasn’t easy to focus due to my dpdr but I pushed myself to finish it. These people have been on many medications for years and suffered coming off but they now seem functional or at least semi functional. It makes me wonder if I only took zoloft for few weeks and I am a bedridden vegetable 14+ months later (it’s hard to even think about doing laundry or reading a book) I am afraid smg really bad has happened to my brain and recovery might be impossible no matter how long I wait no matter if I reinstate or not… hopeless….. so sorry for what I did to my self and my kids by putting this very first pill Zoloft poison in my mouth …. But it wasn’t my fault … I asked so many times if it’s safe and I got reassured by multiple doctors … life is unfair… people loose their life at young ages due to a disease or an accident , I guess I lost it from Zoloft. It doesn’t really matter my body is still here, my brain and soul are gone …. and every day feels the same…. This is not depression talking, I am not depressed, I feel like and want to do many things, but the evil trap of depersonalization and Akathisia just don’t allow me to get out of bed or out of the house. It didn’t have to be this way … I hope Pfizer goes to hell 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

Have you contacted Altostrata. With her experience maybe she can give you more insight or if you need to reinstate tell you how best to proceed.
This is not your fault. If we get through this we will send Pfizer to the f****** moon. 

[ChessieCat]

@ThatOneGirlStitch

 

Please see Alto's response to this member:

 

 

Edited January 7, 2022 by ChessieCat

[Greatful]

How are you doing?  You made it another day. 🌞

Did you watch the Documentary?  I think all Doctors, therapist, anyone in the mental health field should watch this.  Your a neuroscientist right?  Pass this link on to your fellow peers.

 

Have you talked to any of your peers and see what there take is one what is happening to you? How about your doctor, what in the world do they have to say about this?  You said your hubby is a physician,  is he learning about these drugs and passing it on to his peers.

 

I have D/R D/P also but no where to the extent that you do.  I can't stand it as it is, I fight against it trying to clear my brain/thinking and get more grounded in where I am at.  It is super frustrating when you can attain that goal.  Do you get brain panic, where your brain is frantic and is trying to find away out.  I often tell me hubby I can't think, I can't think, meaning I can't think a thought all the way through.

 

We are here for you❤️ 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

25 minutes ago, Greatful said:

How are you doing?  You made it another day. 🌞

Did you watch the Documentary?  I think all Doctors, therapist, anyone in the mental health field should watch this.  Your a neuroscientist right?  Pass this link on to your fellow peers.

 

Have you talked to any of your peers and see what there take is one what is happening to you? How about your doctor, what in the world do they have to say about this?  You said your hubby is a physician,  is he learning about these drugs and passing it on to his peers.

 

I have D/R D/P also but no where to the extent that you do.  I can't stand it as it is, I fight against it trying to clear my brain/thinking and get more grounded in where I am at.  It is super frustrating when you can attain that goal.  Do you get brain panic, where your brain is frantic and is trying to find away out.  I often tell me hubby I can't think, I can't think, meaning I can't think a thought all the way through.

 

We are here for you❤️ 

I watched the movie, glad to see these people are getting back to living. Yes I get the brain panic can’t think symptom but it’s all due to the dpdr. I really can’t live with this torture anymore. My ex colleagues and ex collaborators (many of them doctors) don’t believe this was caused to me by Zoloft. My husband and family friends who are doctors believe it. Doesn’t make much of a difference the suffering is the same. My current doctor says she s never seen this but she believes it was all caused by Zoloft (especially after I brought to her attention the “woodymatters.com” story with the guy having similar symptoms as mine during short exposure at 25mg Zoloft. she says she doesn’t know what should be done but she is willing to support whatever I choose like staying of drugs or trying to reinstate because I wasn’t feeling that horrific at very low doses like 10 mg or so. Don’t know how to do this anymore… how to live doing nothing all day long cause ur brain is destroyed…. Do you have any windows feeling “ok-ish”? My Akathisia is in waves windows pattern but the dpdr is constant… I feel I can’t last much longer at my current status … Thanks for reaching out again .

[benesh]

I am so tech challenged so this is my second attempt to send a message to you.The other disappeared. Grrr.

Anyway dear @JesusSavemefromWD, my heart so goes out to you. In this ordeal, I cry out to HIM with very lttle relief. Lately though I believe, I am onto something by HIS grace.I found some fellow, Aaron Kim, on YouTube. I will hopefully be able to send a link.Anyway he speaks so powerfully about learning to suffer well. He appeals to the suffering saint, which you certainly are. Additionally, I have looked into his recommendation for learning ways to live a Galatians 2:20 life. Surrendering all so HE lives HIS live in and through. Jargon perhaps but once grasped, so liberating.Also I have been trying to beef up avenues of support. Have you met with MICHEAL PRIEBE for coaching? He is a believer who has has himself tapered from benzos and paxil. Then I have started listening to a priest on an app called HALLOW. He is doing the bible in a year.Have you watched the show THE CHOSEN? It is on an app called THE CHOSEN. It is a series that is crowd funded and watched by millions all over the globe.I have much more that I believe  God has added to bring healing to me. That may not be an absence of symptoms but a supernatural way of responding.I am a Jewish woman who encountered Jesus many years ago. If it were not for Him ..well no doubt I would be dead.

Today, I have hope. It has been 2  1/2 years and I am far from tapered. But now I am investing in learning a new way of surrendering. THAT brings hope.Again, I am so sorry for your pain. Do you read the bible? I have more questions but brain fatigue. I will send Aarons link.Jesus please fill her with YOUR hope.

Love,Benesh

[benesh]

https://livinghopeministry.net/
voila here is his link. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

24 minutes ago, benesh said:

I am so tech challenged so this is my second attempt to send a message to you.The other disappeared. Grrr.

Anyway dear @JesusSavemefromWD, my heart so goes out to you. In this ordeal, I cry out to HIM with very lttle relief. Lately though I believe, I am onto something by HIS grace.I found some fellow, Aaron Kim, on YouTube. I will hopefully be able to send a link.Anyway he speaks so powerfully about learning to suffer well. He appeals to the suffering saint, which you certainly are. Additionally, I have looked into his recommendation for learning ways to live a Galatians 2:20 life. Surrendering all so HE lives HIS live in and through. Jargon perhaps but once grasped, so liberating.Also I have been trying to beef up avenues of support. Have you met with MICHEAL PRIEBE for coaching? He is a believer who has has himself tapered from benzos and paxil. Then I have started listening to a priest on an app called HALLOW. He is doing the bible in a year.Have you watched the show THE CHOSEN? It is on an app called THE CHOSEN. It is a series that is crowd funded and watched by millions all over the globe.I have much more that I believe  God has added to bring healing to me. That may not be an absence of symptoms but a supernatural way of responding.I am a Jewish woman who encountered Jesus many years ago. If it were not for Him ..well no doubt I would be dead.

Today, I have hope. It has been 2  1/2 years and I am far from tapered. But now I am investing in learning a new way of surrendering. THAT brings hope.Again, I am so sorry for your pain. Do you read the bible? I have more questions but brain fatigue. I will send Aarons link.Jesus please fill her with YOUR hope.

Love,Benesh

Thank you for your message and for the link. I don’t know how much longer I can survive this torture but your words help. I have been praying to Jesus since I can remember myself but to be honest have very little strength during this suffering to keep praying. It just feels so unfair I suffer so much for so long after such a short exposure. M. Priebbe healed as have others in this site and I am happy for them but that really makes me more desperate because if people healed after long time exposure in drugs and I still suffer so severely 14+ months after such a short exposure, there is smg really bad going on with me. I don’t want people to think I have had no improvements , I had but they are minor and don’t allow me to have any quality of life … just some hope that He hasn’t forgotten me or my family and He will take me out of this nightmare one day… I hope you are able to function a bit during the day…… take care ….

[Daisygirlsk]

4 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Thank you for your message and for the link. I don’t know how much longer I can survive this torture but your words help. I have been praying to Jesus since I can remember myself but to be honest have very little strength during this suffering to keep praying. It just feels so unfair I suffer so much for so long after such a short exposure. M. Priebbe healed as have others in this site and I am happy for them but that really makes me more desperate because if people healed after long time exposure in drugs and I still suffer so severely 14+ months after such a short exposure, there is smg really bad going on with me. I don’t want people to think I have had no improvements , I had but they are minor and don’t allow me to have any quality of life … just some hope that He hasn’t forgotten me or my family and He will take me out of this nightmare one day… I hope you are able to function a bit during the day…… take care ….

Michael Priebe took years to recover it was not a quick thing for him. and I have seen and talked to MANY people over my almost 4 years in this that took much longer than 14 months to recover from an adverse reaction so you are definitely not alone. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

8 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said:

Michael Priebe took years to recover it was not a quick thing for him. and I have seen and talked to MANY people over my almost 4 years in this that took much longer than 14 months to recover from an adverse reaction so you are definitely not alone. 

I don’t mean to underplay anyone’s suffering from these drugs but he was on an SSRi and a benzo for years and he posted he was doing much better after 18 months. He was also able to work during the whole time…. I was on a single drug for few weeks and I have been bedridden for 14+ months and believe me this not because I am not a strong person , but just that Akathisia and depersonalization are two beasts that get you completely dysfunctional…. He had none of these two symptoms… still I know he suffered a lot and he made it and I am happy for him and the fact he has spoken out to help others . Take care and thank you for posting in my thread . I hope you are doing ok.