btdt Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I'm scared I'll get pyschosis. I don't feel well. What would happen? I can't have any drugs. I had some very crazy spell I would call psychosis they did not last long ... I walked a lot I laid in bed a lot took a lot of baths ...it does not always show on the outside so others need not know unless it scares you to the point of telling them. For me I am more afraid of a hosp then I am of anything else.... since I had it before when I had no knowledge none ... and it passed I thought I would triy waiting it out. I did just that I waited filled my time with things that were distracting mostly...pulled a couple of stunts but nothing any one who knows me knew about and did not hurt myself or anyone else. For me they have always been time dependent and pass in time. I have had a few bouts of it now I know it is related to the drugs and withdrawal. In withdrawal it was related to being hypersensitive and given other drugs I should not have been taking the last one was a beta blocker. I am very careful with drugs if I do get a reaction as soon as I become aware of it I turn on a safety valve I have developed to keep an eye on my choices. Chances are you will never have this and don't need to prethink this bit of self torture but if it should happen there are my thoughts on it. The other thing I would like to say is when you get caught in a line of thought like this try a deep relaxation video there are a lot of them on utube one of them may be helpful to you. Often the longer I listen to the same one the better it works for me. Once I get my self out of the loop of negative thinking into myself even for a short time it seems to reset my system and I can start over from a better place. Wishing you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 Bless you Miami. I'm waking up earlier and earlier with this horrible depression...it's just torture. I will hold on to your words. I'm pleased to her yours is getting easier. I hope you are turning a corner. JDM - hold on matey. We're all in this hell together 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 Thanks btdt. Distraction is the key...I'm starting to learn this. Hope you're ok. God damn drugs. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 You've helped me so much btdt...can't thank you enough. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Bless you Miami. I'm waking up earlier and earlier with this horrible depression...it's just torture. I will hold on to your words. I'm pleased to her yours is getting easier. I hope you are turning a corner. JDM - hold on matey. We're all in this hell together Holding! ???? 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
westcoast Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 well, gang, I have had some short term relief with Xanax prescribed by Dr Shipko. He only wrote ten .5 mg tablets, and advised that I tried to use only two per week. My own immediate scientific study has revealed that I need one in the morning and two at night, which is 21 per week. Have to talk to him about that. I don;t think it's the right answer, given all we know about long-term effects and withdrawal. But this week, it was "any port in a storm." I was surprised that he prescribed it, as I had assumed he would want me off all drugs.I mention it because, after taking two before bed the first time, I WOKE UP WITHOUT THE DREAD/HORROR. (I call it the "hell helmet" because it is experienced as an icy/hot scalp or brain sensation, accompanied by the emotions we all know.) It was miraculous, like the old days: Wake up, notice it's morning, get up, and have a cup of tea.I wonder if those of you on low-dose Ativan would have a better time on low-dose Xanax? How do they differ? Or is the goal to abandon the benzos altogether, which is understandable? 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
btdt Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks btdt. Distraction is the key...I'm starting to learn this. Hope you're ok. God damn drugs. been sick in bed just could not get up and get going ...had to give in and get antibiotics... yes I know been a couple of wks now... hoping the antibiotics don't cause the colon issue they did last time I was still being treated for that when this new bug came... hoping to catch a break soon... I am alive and kicking when I am up to it... God damn drugs. is right WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 well, gang, I have had some short term relief with Xanax prescribed by Dr Shipko. He only wrote ten .5 mg tablets, and advised that I tried to use only two per week. My own immediate scientific study has revealed that I need one in the morning and two at night, which is 21 per week. Have to talk to him about that. I don;t think it's the right answer, given all we know about long-term effects and withdrawal. But this week, it was "any port in a storm." I was surprised that he prescribed it, as I had assumed he would want me off all drugs. I mention it because, after taking two before bed the first time, I WOKE UP WITHOUT THE DREAD/HORROR. (I call it the "hell helmet" because it is experienced as an icy/hot scalp or brain sensation, accompanied by the emotions we all know.) It was miraculous, like the old days: Wake up, notice it's morning, get up, and have a cup of tea. I wonder if those of you on low-dose Ativan would have a better time on low-dose Xanax? How do they differ? Or is the goal to abandon the benzos altogether, which is understandable? I never tried them so I can't say from personal experience I was too scared after the lorazapam had me pacing 3 days straight with no sleep I was a basket case ...worse then before. I tried some things lyrica mirapex lords knows I likely am missing some none helped me. Very tiny use of gravol I have no idea why but it is an sort of brain drugs works on the brain not the gut... really. child types and only 1/4 of that... I took it for dizziness mostly but found all drugs that were calming had a rebound effect even the antihistamines. I so wish they would find an answer but what I really think is they are learning from us we are the lab rats and they don't know. I wonder what drug they will try on the unsuspecting public next. I have no advice about this drug as I don't know it but I don't trust any of them am just too jaded. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
westcoast Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I wonder, too. All the news these days (for depression) is about single-dose hallucinogens like magic mushrooms and LSD. Even daily small-dosing with mushrooms is being studied. But drug companies can't make money off things that grow in the ground so there will be no drug reps pushing it if it really works and thus to the doctors it won't exist. I am sure patients would be too scared to try these treatments anyway, though they are not sufficiently scared of pharmaceuticals imho. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Ayhuascua.. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
degen12 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I wonder, too. All the news these days (for depression) is about single-dose hallucinogens like magic mushrooms and LSD. Even daily small-dosing with mushrooms is being studied. But drug companies can't make money off things that grow in the ground so there will be no drug reps pushing it if it really works and thus to the doctors it won't exist. I am sure patients would be too scared to try these treatments anyway, though they are not sufficiently scared of pharmaceuticals imho. Yeah, MAPS does great work. PTSD-victims going back to work after being sick for 20 years kind of great work. Anyhow, Muddles, I have these partial-symptom panic attacks. No hyperventilation or racing heart. Physical symptoms are usually limited to a feeling of heat for me. But they are still panic attacks and I feel like I am going crazy, and it's finally time for my psychotic break, or I'm going to die (apparently for no reason, "sense of impending doom"). None of it ever happens. No idea if this is similar to your situation with feeling like you can't relate. For me these attacks always caused some dissociation. April / 2016: Cipralex 10 mg, Mirtazapine 30 mg, Lyrica 600 mg, Diazepam 20 mg, Bystolic 5 mg 2018: Lots of polypharmacy which is undocumented here. Started and stopped several drugs and changed doses of existing ones August / 2018: Back on track! Cipralex 15 mg, Mirtazapine 7.5 mg, Diazepam 15 mg September 2018: Cipralex 15 mg -> 12.5 mg October 2018: Cipralex 12.5 mg -> 10 mg, Mirtazapine 7.5 mg -> 3.75 mg -> Stopped, Diazepam 15 mg November 2019: Cipralex 5 mg, Diazepam 10 mg Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Muddles, How ya feeling?? ???? 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wolfhound Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Muddles, I am thinking of you. If you like to talk, I am here. W. Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing. tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave. In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication. i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 Muddles, How ya feeling?? ???? thanks for thinking of me. Kids were off last week which I was dreading but I was surprisingly better with them at home...very demanding and tiring but managed. I'm waking earlier each night - not getting much sleep at all. Depression and emotional numbness still hell along with the other rubbish symptoms. I'm taking each day as it comes...it's a scary ride. I'm trying not to look into the future, forget the past and just try and stay in the present moment and accept this crap - no matter how bad I feel, which is very difficult but the only way I can cope. Wolfhound - so good to hear from you. I hope your absence from the board means you are healing or even healed. Thank you for dropping by...I really appreciate your thoughts my friend. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
luv2knit Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Muddles, I hope to read more of your story later. Just not up to it today. Sounds like you have had quite a time of it, though--and you suffer from the akathisia too?! Hang in there! We will all get through this one way or another! Personally, I do a lot of praying, but to each his/her own!! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
westcoast Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Hi Muddles, just checking in. It sounds like you're less despairing then when I first joined a few months ago. Could that possibly be true? I hope so. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Checking in. Sending positive thoughts your way! Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted November 5, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 5, 2014 This is so great to hear! I'm sure this kind of attitude will create a positive vicious circle for you leading to more recovery soon. hugs I'm trying not to look into the future, forget the past and just try and stay in the present moment and accept this crap - no matter how bad I feel, which is very difficult but the only way I can cope. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Wolfhound Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Muddles Few suggestions from me. What has helped me so far in the healing process. a) distraction walking in nature, hiking if possible c) being with my children I was almost afraid to spend the whole two month holiday with my kids. (I don´t know why because I have been with them all their life I choose not to work much to profit from their childhood) but it turned out to be wonderful. They kept me busy - I just had to do things, had to answer their questions, had to talk, had to think of some programm like going to a playground, to a museum, going hiking... You sound better Muddles. There´ll be waves but you´ll het some relief in windows. You´ll get through it. Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing. tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave. In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication. i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Thanks Wolfhound, I have had better days since stopping the mirtazapine...my body could not tolerate the poison any longer. However, I am being hit now with a load of 'new withdrawal symptoms'. A lot of head symptoms...cannot tolerate light, heart palpitations (terrible first thing in a morning with that lovely feeling of doom and dread), insomnia and when I do sleep...terrible nightmares and terrors, disorientation and my food sensitivities are terrible! The headaches are hell and hate taking pain killers as I'm sure they don't agree with me. Apathy and emotional numbness are still present 24/7....it's a killer. Brain fog that makes me feel so God damn injured, along with burning, tightness and a strange feeling of bugs crawling on my scalp???? Like I said, I have had some better days which I have been very grateful for...far from normal but do-able. But right now I'm scared...I've got that 'permanent brain damage' stuck in my head. I think it's because I feel so brain damaged at the moment and have not felt a day of normality since poop-out back in January. I live in the moment and try and accept this is what it is for now but it's kinda getting tiring now. I wanna live a normal life like I once did and it's just not happening! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Oh - and thanks bubble. Hope you are ok. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
btdt Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 It sounds like your maintaining... best you can we know it is not perfect and don't expect it to be... not thinking forward or back is a good idea ...can't afford the negativity it brings. It sounds like things are going about as well as can be expected considering all that is going on. I am happy to see your maintaining this stability I use the term loosely... it will get better bit by bit. It is a process after all and event tho you can't see it healing is taking place... I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Patoski Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Muddles I know exactly how you feel I am going through it my self and I think the most positive thing you are doing I posting about it I've been through this once before when I came off a very high dose of bensos I was on them for 20 years and I went through helpline beenoff them 28 years and it did get better but I stayed on antidepressant.s because they told me I had bipolar and they were not addictive how wrong that was.i stayed on them for 40 years and I have now been drug free for nearly 6 months it's not easy but I know I can do it because I've done it before. So keep going mate the bible sais he that endure the to the end shall be saved hang on to that word and remember we are fighting for our God granted existence the only way out of the jungle is through the jungle. X I was originally on 350 mils doxepin started in1975 through the years I tapered down to 100 mils I stayed on this dose for many years I have now been off for 7 months ago Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 Thank you so much...it helps a lot. The akathisia is kicking in big time recently. Also, has anyone ever suffered with aching gums and teeth and visual problems when looking at a computer or phone screen? It's really bad. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Miami1 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Hey M, The aka. eased at 3.5 months for me. Visual I still get but not as frequent. If I'm scrolling through a list on the PC I have to stop at times. As you say it's a long road but we will do it. Miami 2006 til May2013Lunesta 3mg. Cross to xanax.25mg 6/2013. stopXanax C/T oct 2 for 27 days. reinstate with Valium end of oct taper.rehab taper too fast began up-dosing to stabilize. Nov19 cross over to Librium plus low dose remoron as needed for sleep. nov20 switched to .25 klon 0.125 twice. lib causing depression as well as Val.11/24/13 klon cuasing hives 11/26/13 dr put me back on Librium 25g.11/30Lib 20mg.12/4 15mgLib -12/7 14mg lib. 12/12 13mg lib12/12 rehab 12/16/13 last dose 12/31/13 out of rehab Remeron jan6/14 3.75mg 2/.8/14 stop rem ct@3.75mg -Back on rem 1.87mg 2/21/14 May2,) 8mg @ 8:30pm& .2 @ 9:30pm -May 22 @ .9 mg May 31was my last dose of 0.9 remeron Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted November 21, 2014 Member Share Posted November 21, 2014 Hi Muddles, I just popped into the site (in the middle of the night, my sleep is a bit upset) and saw your message about the computer. You might want to try the blue blocker program to adjust the color temp of your screen. (Mine is called 'f.lux). I think in wd we might be oversensitive to the light wavelength that is emitted from screens. I have mine adjusted so that even during the day it is running and it makes the screen emit warm instead of the cold blue it normally does. I even have one that runs on my android tablet. I also have the brightness turned way down on my TV too. This is recommended in the Symptoms forum somewhere. I like the warm color of my screen and I may always keep it that way and who knows, it might have had a benefit in that I feel far more recovered than I think I should be at this point. You seem to be doing a bit better but I haven't caught up on your thread to see if that is true. I hope so. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 How strange cymbalta - was thinking about you this morning...how are you? So nice to hear from you. Thanks for the advice...I will take it up. Also going to look into the glasses that some have purchased in helping with this problem. Any light at the moment is effecting me...I feel like a gremlin. I was improving but going backwards which I only expected. I think this is withdrawal on top of poop-out, just lovely! Thanks again. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Hey M, The aka. eased at 3.5 months for me. Visual I still get but not as frequent. If I'm scrolling through a list on the PC I have to stop at times. As you say it's a long road but we will do it. Miami thanks my lovely. I do hope we see the light sometime soon. I feel you will pretty soon...you have come a long way. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
westcoast Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Yes, Muddles. I had serious problems with computer screens. I just couldn't look at them for more than a few seconds. Then my head would fall to my chest. I ran into all kinds of serious money problems because I couldn't access information or pay bills online. I lost my cell phone account because I couldn't figure out how to pay the bill. (Phoning customer service was also impossible because I always ended up shrieking at people.) I was on my own, no one to help me, and am currently fighting with tax authorities about penalities I have to pay now. They want a letter from an MD, but of course I had emailed my doctors during my psychotsis and told them all to burn in heck, or similar. I had NO DOCTOR and thus there's no one to write on my behalf. I was a different, horrible, mentally incapable person for nearly a year. The tax penalty is $6500, even after I properly paid the tax itself.On a positive note, I continue to get better a month at a time, but spend a lot of time trying to repair the damage my behaviour during the period caused.I truly was not myself. Sort of possessed with anger and paranoia, and incompetent at the tasks of daily living, not to mention running a business.Thank you FDA and effexor and all you lovely psychiatrists. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Muddles Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 God west coast - you have been through the mill. I am terrified of psychosis and feel I'm on the verge at the moment. How did you overcome it? How long did it last? This is pure hell and I'm in that horrible suicidal stage again. God help me...please. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted November 21, 2014 Member Share Posted November 21, 2014 Muddles, I am hanging in there and thanks for thinking of me, I must have caught your thought. Ordinary blue blocking sunglasses can work and you may want to try what Jemima did is wear them all the time. In the house, outside rain or shine. You do have to take them off at least 10 minutes a day outside in the sunlight between 10 a - 4 p so the light can hit your eyeballs. That staves off SAD and I think we need it for our health somehow. Ordinary bright sun may be too stimulating and indoor lighting along with computer screens and TVs may be terrorizing our systems somehow in acute WD. Does it bother our pineal gland maybe? Give it a long try and if you see some kind of improvement post it in symptoms in the thread for the computer program or get Alto to put them all in the same place (I happen to think there are 2 threads dealing with the computer monitor color temp manipulation.) Some of us may have to take more drastic measures to help our systems regain control. Jemima wearing the sunglasses all the time is an example of a 'drastic measure'. You hang in there, you hear me? Btw, you can really stop being afraid of psychosis. It doesn't just 'happen'. You are dreadfully sick it is true but you are able to communicate intelligently (your posts are grammatically correct and you write articulately) and you are able to take in and process information. Just keep trying stuff (with the usual caveats) and keep ahold of yourself and march straight ahead. Your body will calm down eventually. I know, I lived through it as did a lot of us. Very few (if any) report being hauled off to the loony bin. You usually work to make that come about it, I don't think it is a surprise or a bogeyman waiting to getcha. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Broken Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Muddles I can sympathise with you completely, I have experienced much of the same withdrawal symptoms as yourself. I too have children and long for that warm fuzzy feeling I used to get whenever I was in their company. At my worst I had to look after 2 little girls 6 and 4 and look after my wife who was heavily pregnant and very unwell (she developed preeclampsia). I now have 3 little girls who I know I love yet I'm incapable of feeling it. I get up, I get ready, I tidy up, I do what's required of me because I have to. I enjoy nothing. My relationship with wife and children is not what it once was. I feel like a stranger in my own home, the great pretender. It's tragic. I'll pray for you and all the lovely people on the forum who have been supporting you. December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted November 21, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 21, 2014 Hi Muddles, just stopping by to say hi and let you know I think about you often. Hang in there hun, you've done fantastically well so far and it is changing as your brain heals. You will get there in the end, and that time is getting closer every day. Mamma hugs. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
btdt Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Yes, Muddles. I had serious problems with computer screens. I just couldn't look at them for more than a few seconds. Then my head would fall to my chest. I ran into all kinds of serious money problems because I couldn't access information or pay bills online. I lost my cell phone account because I couldn't figure out how to pay the bill. (Phoning customer service was also impossible because I always ended up shrieking at people.) I was on my own, no one to help me, and am currently fighting with tax authorities about penalities I have to pay now. They want a letter from an MD, but of course I had emailed my doctors during my psychotsis and told them all to burn in heck, or similar. I had NO DOCTOR and thus there's no one to write on my behalf. I was a different, horrible, mentally incapable person for nearly a year. The tax penalty is $6500, even after I properly paid the tax itself. On a positive note, I continue to get better a month at a time, but spend a lot of time trying to repair the damage my behaviour during the period caused. I truly was not myself. Sort of possessed with anger and paranoia, and incompetent at the tasks of daily living, not to mention running a business. Thank you FDA and effexor and all you lovely psychiatrists. your the only other person who had the same head drop issues I had and I am making a note here in case other had it too... I think it rare. expect a pm WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 God west coast - you have been through the mill. I am terrified of psychosis and feel I'm on the verge at the moment. How did you overcome it? How long did it last? This is pure hell and I'm in that horrible suicidal stage again. God help me...please. Hang in there Muddles maintaining is the name of the game just now don' t forget distraction you have no idea how well you are actually doing I would stand and give you an ovation for how well you have handled this so far as I know how very difficult it all is. Bravo to you! Keep going. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Muddles, I am hanging in there and thanks for thinking of me, I must have caught your thought. Ordinary blue blocking sunglasses can work and you may want to try what Jemima did is wear them all the time. In the house, outside rain or shine. You do have to take them off at least 10 minutes a day outside in the sunlight between 10 a - 4 p so the light can hit your eyeballs. That staves off SAD and I think we need it for our health somehow. Ordinary bright sun may be too stimulating and indoor lighting along with computer screens and TVs may be terrorizing our systems somehow in acute WD. Does it bother our pineal gland maybe? Give it a long try and if you see some kind of improvement post it in symptoms in the thread for the computer program or get Alto to put them all in the same place (I happen to think there are 2 threads dealing with the computer monitor color temp manipulation.) Some of us may have to take more drastic measures to help our systems regain control. Jemima wearing the sunglasses all the time is an example of a 'drastic measure'. You hang in there, you hear me? Btw, you can really stop being afraid of psychosis. It doesn't just 'happen'. You are dreadfully sick it is true but you are able to communicate intelligently (your posts are grammatically correct and you write articulately) and you are able to take in and process information. Just keep trying stuff (with the usual caveats) and keep ahold of yourself and march straight ahead. Your body will calm down eventually. I know, I lived through it as did a lot of us. Very few (if any) report being hauled off to the loony bin. You usually work to make that come about it, I don't think it is a surprise or a bogeyman waiting to getcha. https://justgetflux.com/news/pages/welcome/ THANK YOU I just added this program I so with there was one for the tv. I recommend people here try it.. my eyes love it. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
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