littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[Fifree]

Just now, littlebird said:

They're fun, flashy black and white plumage they show off in little dances on top of houses and telephone poles.

I want one! They look like good little friends to have popping in. 

 

Murder mystery parties are usually fun. You get to adopt a persona for the evening so you don't even have to take your real self along. And it's fun to dress up.  What's the theme of this one?

[littlebird]

Log

Tore the bed UP with restless sleep, woke up groggy and grumps. Bad dreams I guess? Don’t remember.

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 95mg Seroquel < trying a 5% taper, every night it takes me under I think, “This is too much medicine for me.”

 

Feeling the feels after that big ole therapy sesh. Not working full time, didn’t start till noon today. Had big “trauma brain” after active dreaming, then ended up talking to some friends who are also going through it in their own ways.

 

As anxious as I’ve been, and as much as that anxiety is affecting my work, I think I need to leave Gabapentin dosing alone for now. Also feels like I’m still adjusting from the drop I had to do late last year.

Time is dragging. I’ll catch myself thinking, “I’ve been working for so long,” when in fact it hasn’t been that long.

 

Got a big ole fibromyalgia flare up in the evening. Not at all unusual after unlocking trauma, but so unpleasant. Cuddled up in an electric blanket, which helped a little. 

 

Gratitude

As active as I am in my nightmares, I’m so grateful I married a deep sleeper who snoozes through all my tossing and turning. 

 

Glad I got some post-therapy treats! Yay sugar, I know I need to eat less of you, but yum yum yum. My partner is having a stressful week and also appreciating the treats.

 

Don’t know how I’m working and planning a wedding and tapering meds, but I’m doing it! Little by little, getting things done.

 

Always satisfying to get exactly the mgs I’m looking for in a fragment, started saving them in my “on the go” med kit.

 

Gotten pretty good at the “throw all the tiny fragments to the back of the throat” game so I don’t numb out my tongue with WellyB.

 

I’m glad to have a quiet Friday night with no plans, taking a little time for myself and taking it easy.

[littlebird]

Just now, Fifree said:

You get to adopt a persona for the evening so you don't even have to take your real self along. And it's fun to dress up.  What's the theme of this one?

 

It's a retro one, so I'm breaking out some bellbottoms and some vintage clothes I picked up. A persona sounds kinda fun to play! My real self doesn't feel so fun lately, but maybe my pretend self can bring some laughs. 

[Thorin]

9 minutes ago, littlebird said:

 

12 minutes ago, Fifree said:

You get to adopt a persona for the evening so you don't even have to take your real self along. And it's fun to dress up.  What's the theme of this one?

 

It's a retro one, so I'm breaking out some bellbottoms and some vintage clothes I picked up. A persona sounds kinda fun to play! My real self doesn't feel so fun lately, but maybe my pretend self can bring some laughs. 

 

Oh man it’s so long since I’ve done that sort of thing. I really miss it. Hope it’s awesome!

[Thorin]

16 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Log

Tore the bed UP with restless sleep, woke up groggy and grumps. Bad dreams I guess? Don’t remember.

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 95mg Seroquel < trying a 5% taper, every night it takes me under I think, “This is too much medicine for me.”

 

Feeling the feels after that big ole therapy sesh. Not working full time, didn’t start till noon today. Had big “trauma brain” after active dreaming, then ended up talking to some friends who are also going through it in their own ways.

 

As anxious as I’ve been, and as much as that anxiety is affecting my work, I think I need to leave Gabapentin dosing alone for now. Also feels like I’m still adjusting from the drop I had to do late last year.

Time is dragging. I’ll catch myself thinking, “I’ve been working for so long,” when in fact it hasn’t been that long.

 

Got a big ole fibromyalgia flare up in the evening. Not at all unusual after unlocking trauma, but so unpleasant. Cuddled up in an electric blanket, which helped a little. 

 

Gratitude

As active as I am in my nightmares, I’m so grateful I married a deep sleeper who snoozes through all my tossing and turning. 

 

Glad I got some post-therapy treats! Yay sugar, I know I need to eat less of you, but yum yum yum. My partner is having a stressful week and also appreciating the treats.

 

Don’t know how I’m working and planning a wedding and tapering meds, but I’m doing it! Little by little, getting things done.

 

Always satisfying to get exactly the mgs I’m looking for in a fragment, started saving them in my “on the go” med kit.

 

Gotten pretty good at the “throw all the tiny fragments to the back of the throat” game so I don’t numb out my tongue with WellyB.

 

I’m glad to have a quiet Friday night with no plans, taking a little time for myself and taking it easy.

As you said you may still be adjusting to previous med changes so you may notice a bit more impact from lowering your seroquel than you would otherwise. Think you’re still at a high dose though (?) so you may not notice much at all to start.

[littlebird]

Starting to feel a little better with fibromyalgia flare. It's clockwork: after I get really deep into trauma or something triggers it, a flare-up follows. Instead of fighting this one with my mind and wishing fibro pain would evacuate, I'm asking my body, "What's going on here?"

 

Spent some time with my eyes closed, trying to visualize what is going on in me. It feels like there are landmines of trauma all over, and when one gets set off it's like a slow-motion supernova that moves through all the systems, activating them. First the nervous system gets worked up, then the fascia pain sets in and I'm hurting all over.

 

Wonder if there's a way to do trauma work that won't trigger a flare? It only seems to happen with the nastiest of the nasty traumas/triggers, so maybe the more I tread that ground and process, the easier it will be.

[j1290]

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

Gotten pretty good at the “throw all the tiny fragments to the back of the throat” game so I don’t numb out my tongue with WellyB.

🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the laugh!!  I gotta start doing that.  I'm taking half pills and they're not exactly sugar.   

[littlebird]

10 hours ago, j1290 said:

14 hours ago, littlebird said:

Gotten pretty good at the “throw all the tiny fragments to the back of the throat” game so I don’t numb out my tongue with WellyB.

🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the laugh!!  I gotta start doing that.  I'm taking half pills and they're not exactly sugar. 

 

These are definitely not sugar, if I can't land the fragments right or find a drink in time my tongue gets all weird!

[littlebird]

Thinking about how reckless doctors have been with dosing and adding new psych pills in in my lifetime, wondering how much of what I chalked up to mental illness was adverse reactions to too many meds too quickly.

 

So many doctors have told me to cold turkey, or add something in that interacts... it's kinda chilling now that I'm paying attention to what these meds are doing more. Poly-drugging should be something for a worst case scenario, not best practice for all issues.

 

Thank god I never agreed to take the daily benzos that were recommended by many. Never liked how those made me feel, especially if I took them two days in a row. Not one of those doctors mentioned the addiction risks or that people who cold turkey them die either.

[littlebird]

Log

Waking up less groggy than usual, less Serq or coincidence?

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

1pm - Feeling less anxious than usual this time of day (might be cause I’m not working tho)

2:30pm - 100mg Gabapentin (not doing well with schedule)

3pm - Fell asleep for almost 3 hours

6pm - Had to take 25mg Wellbutrin IR and 100mg Gabapentin together (or stay up till 2am)

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

8:30pm - Social anxiety

11pm - Pristiq (at birthday and lost track of time)

1:45am-ish-probably - 95mg Seroquel

 

I was woken up early by barking neighbor dogs, which usually would have had me waking up in a mood. Felt surprisingly chill about it, and was less groggy/grumpy than usual.

 

Super nervous about going to a party today. We’ll be bringing an extra air filter, I can mask outdoors, and smoke/hang on the balcony. 

 

Gratitude

I’m feeling grateful for a rainy day, we could use it here.

 

Also grateful when the sun came out, it does help my mood.

 

I got myself a “good job doing hard work” gift, a lovely ceramic plant holder that’s hanging on my wall and propagating cute plants. Really making the bedroom feel more lush, glad I got that. Trying to feel okay about spending money on myself! It’s improving my quality of life, my eyes relax every time I see it.

 

Glad to get a lil social time and celebrate a friend's birthday. Also nice to come home to our happy pup!

[littlebird]

Really not loving the med schedule! I'm tired and would love to go to bed early. Gotta keep popping pills until midnight and can't mix em together anymore. Sleepy littlebird pushing through. Fell asleep on the couch, but didn't sleep through a med time. Win!

[littlebird]

Log

10:45am - 100mg Gabapentin (slept late)

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

Realized it was a trauma anniversary. Traumaversary? I don’t remember every year, but it hit me like a ton of bricks when I looked at the date. Might have made me extra dissociated today now that I think about it…

 

It’s always bothered me, but the “depressed character goes on meds and life is good again” trope is extra tiring these days. This is basically product placement for the whole pharma industry, there was just a monologue in this show about how “I thought I would feel drugged or sedated or sleepy, but I don’t!” Look, representation for people who need meds is important too. Just would love to see a character get off meds without it being a sign they’re about to go off the rails. 

 

I baked cookies tonight, trying out See’s chocolate chips for the first time. Jury still out on those, I think the chocolates they make are better. Warmed up the house and made it smell nice, but this chocolate connoisseur still thinks Guittard chocolate chips are where it’s at.

 

Speaking of chocolate, the way I’ve been craving it has me wanting to up my magnesium intake. It also interacts with most things I’m taking, except Wellbutrin, so I gotta remember to throw it down the hatch then. Turns out it’s harder than I expected to add another one into the complicated schedule. 

 

Gratitude

Glad to see friends and get more hugs than usual this weekend. 

 

The weather is lightening up, starting to feel like spring.

 

I’m much more compassionate with myself than I used to be, hope that continues to grow!

 

Feeling proud of myself for pushing through and getting hard things done. It’s nice to feel proud of myself! Tough love was not it.

[Fifree]

 

On 3/5/2023 at 6:54 AM, littlebird said:

how reckless doctors have been with dosing and adding new psych pills

this makes me so mad. I have been fortunate in pretty much avoiding the polydrugging (I have Lex and Dex of course, but as soon as I started the Dex I started getting off the Lex) but it makes me furious that they give people drugs that cause side effects and then give them another drug to treat the side effects and then it has more side effects and so on and so on. 

 

I watched a very moving doco today called The Happy Pill. This poor girl was depressed after being bullied and excluded by high school girlfriends.  So drs put her on antidepressants which gave her hallucinations as a side effect. Rather than taking her off the ADs they added an antipsychotic and she got worse and worse and then she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and pretty much lost the next 10 years of her life. Eventually a psych nurse helped her to get off all the drugs and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HER AT ALL! Except of course the trauma of losing her entire young adulthood to made up mental illness. 

[littlebird]

19 minutes ago, Fifree said:

I watched a very moving doc today called The Happy Pill. This poor girl was depressed after being bullied and excluded by high school girlfriends.  So drs put her on antidepressants which gave her hallucinations as a side effect. Rather than taking her off the ADs they added an antipsychotic and she got worse and worse and then she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and pretty much lost the next 10 years of her life. Eventually a psych nurse helped her to get off all the drugs and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HER AT ALL! Except of course the trauma of losing her entire young adulthood to made up mental illness. 

 

I bet this happens so much!! 

 

20 minutes ago, Fifree said:

it makes me furious that they give people drugs that cause side effects and then give them another drug to treat the side effects and then it has more side effects and so on and so on. 

 

Yup!! Things gotta change in psychiatry. Hoping it happens in our lifetimes! 

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

Gotta keep popping pills until midnight and can't mix em together anymore.

 

Can't wait to be off these and live by my body's schedule! I'm 🥱 so 😴 tired! 💤 Gonna treat myself to a complaint: being poly-drugged truly sucks, in so many ways. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

 

So tempted to take Serq early so I can finally get to sleep, but it interacts with Pristiq. 15 more minutes. I can do this.

[j1290]

25 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Can't wait to be off these and live by my body's schedule! I'm 🥱 so 😴 tired! 💤 Gonna treat myself to a complaint: being poly-drugged truly sucks, in so many ways. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

🤣 Of all the things I didn't expect to read.....I always enjoy your Ted Talks, Littlebird!   I have lots of opinions about poly drugging myself.   You know how you eat an elephant, don't you?  One bite at a time.   And that's what I see you doing, reducing whatever med you can, when you can.  Looks like you're making your way down the mountain to my eyes!

[littlebird]

Thanks @j1290! Treated myself to a little whine with my lack of wine. Woke up this morning and thought about how I wish I could go back in time and give each doctor who poly-drugged me in my lifetime a piece of my mind. I guess all I can do is fight any further complications from additional meds, and hold strong.

 

10 hours ago, j1290 said:

You know how you eat an elephant, don't you?  One bite at a time.   And that's what I see you doing, reducing whatever med you can, when you can.  Looks like you're making your way down the mountain to my eyes!

 

YES, thank you!! I like how we all take turns helping each other get back up when we stumble on this mountain.

[littlebird]

Anorexia is loud today. Wish there was a food-pill I could take that would expand to a whole meal in my stomach. The one extra pill I'm interested in!

[littlebird]

On 2/28/2023 at 12:06 PM, Altostrata said:

Suggest you hang in for another 2 weeks, then reduce each gabapentin dose by 10% (10mg).

 

Not at 2 weeks yet, but I noticed a pattern that's got me a little concerned I wanted to check in about. I've been napping (super unusual for me) and falling asleep randomly on the couch in the evening.

 

I realized today this happens after the 2nd and 3rd dose of Gabapentin. I'm thinking this dose is too high now that I don't have Wellbutrin SR dampening the effects, I never napped before unless I was deathly ill.

 

Feeling pretty stable otherwise, but the naps are really strange. Especially in the work day, it's been making me clock out and work partial days (which I can't keep up). I'm wondering if it would be all right to start a 5% taper of the Gabapentin doses to try and curb the falling asleep during the day thing.

 

Can totally wait a bit longer to make it a full 2 weeks, but after making the connection with falling asleep and Gabapentin it made me want to try to make some changes (also I'm losing income to sleepiness, which has me anxious).

[littlebird]

Log

A little restless, woke up groggy

10am - 100mg Gabapentin + enzymes

10:30am - Feeling especially unmotivated

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR + multivitamin with magnesium

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

3pm - Sleepy

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

7pm - Fell asleep on couch

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR 

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

A friend mentioned being put on ADs. Part of me wanted to warn them, but also I don’t want to project my experience onto them. They mentioned feeling better, so maybe I let it ride? Oof, hard not to worry that they’re being put in my shoes with getting on meds.

 

Feeling a lot of wedding-planning stress, but also reminding myself that I once dreamed of meeting someone I loved enough to marry and this is a very happy source of stress. Deep breathing through it. 

 

Gratitude

The sunshine is so lovely! Really appreciating it after all the rain and clouds. Maybe that’s an analogy too: being low in mood really makes me appreciate when my internal sun comes out!

 

Memory is improving! Just walked into a room and remembered why I was there. YES!!

 

I’ve been having increasingly bad knee pain and started deep-diving into possible reasons, and might have figured it out! Got some special insoles designed for this issue, and the pain is SO much better. It was hurting every time I climbed the stairs to our apartment, now I can take the stairs without pain when I have the special insoles in. Woohoo!!! Gonna order some for every pair of shoes and slippers. Such a relief to take the stairs and sit/stand without pain! 

 

I gave my dog a bath and she’s so fluffy and soft now. 

 

If my partner and I can work together (from home to boot), wedding plan, and also get through our respective tough times and still want to kiss good night and get married… our relationship is solid. Getting a lot of pressure from all sides, and we’re still going strong.

[Thorin]

4 minutes ago, littlebird said:

If my partner and I can work together (from home to boot), wedding plan, and also get through our respective tough times and still want to kiss good night and get married… our relationship is solid. Getting a lot of pressure from all sides, and we’re still going strong.

This made me really happy to read. I’m glad you’re in a strong relationship. It’ll make all this a bit more bearable!

[littlebird]

I know I'm grateful for my dog often, but she's next to me snoring in her sleep and even her tiny snores are cute. Thank goodness for this dog, I'm gonna risk waking her up with tiny kisses before I go to bed. Sweet angel!

[j1290]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

A friend mentioned being put on ADs. Part of me wanted to warn them, but also I don’t want to project my experience onto them. They mentioned feeling better, so maybe I let it ride? Oof, hard not to worry that they’re being put in my shoes with getting on meds.

I hear you.   It's such a sensitive topic, and I'm not sure anybody wants me to stand in the way of their enjoyment of their happy-skinny-sexy pill.   I'd like to shout from the rooftops for people to be careful and know what they're getting into, but I don't think that would make me very popular.   It's frustrating.

[FireflyFyte]

9 hours ago, littlebird said:

If my partner and I can work together (from home to boot), wedding plan, and also get through our respective tough times and still want to kiss good night and get married… our relationship is solid. Getting a lot of pressure from all sides, and we’re still going strong.

 

It's wonderful that you have such a solid support system in your partner. 

 

8 hours ago, littlebird said:

I know I'm grateful for my dog often, but she's next to me snoring in her sleep and even her tiny snores are cute. Thank goodness for this dog, I'm gonna risk waking her up with tiny kisses before I go to bed. Sweet angel!

 

I was annoying one of my dogs with kisses last night. It is too hard to resist sometimes!

[Altostrata]

Good to see you've made a move on Seroquel. 

 

I can see why you might have trouble sticking to your complicated drug schedule, but not taking your drugs at consistent times may confound symptoms that we need to monitor as you reduce any of them.

[littlebird]

11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I can see why you might have trouble sticking to your complicated drug schedule, but not taking your drugs at consistent times may confound symptoms that we need to monitor as you reduce any of them.

 

Very true!! It's made a big difference in my life to take things at the same time every day. Before I found this site, I was loosey goosey with timing of the cocktail. Not to mention that all those pills shouldn't have been taken together.

 

I need to get even better at it for sure! Installed an app (Max) to remind me, just have to make sure I have my phone on me for it to work. Ooh, maybe putting timers into my work laptop would fix the "not having phone" problem... I'm gonna look into this today.

 

12 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Good to see you've made a move on Seroquel. 

 

I was thinking it was too much, but then yesterday when I realized Gabapentin might be the culprit for putting me to sleep during the work day I thought maybe I should aim at that one instead. I know I need to pick one and stick with it, just not sure which one would improve quality of life more at this point.

 

When I read that Seroquel might be behind some cystic-fibrosis health issues I have, it made me want to move that one to the top of the list to taper. Then again, you pointed out at the start of this journey that if it helps with sleep, maybe leave it alone for now?

 

I'm drinking a lot of caffeinated tea throughout the day to counteract the sleepiness Gabapentin causes now that Wellbutrin SR isn't masking it, which probably isn't helping anxiety and definitely isn't good for the cystic-fibrosis, but I gotta stay awake somehow.

 

Sorry to bug you, appreciate you helping figure out the Polydrug Puzzle.

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I was annoying one of my dogs with kisses last night. It is too hard to resist sometimes!

 

I woke her up with lil kisses this morning, and she grumbled at me and tried to hide under a blanket. Sorry, little one, you're just too cute to resist!

[Altostrata]

12 hours ago, littlebird said:

10am - 100mg Gabapentin + enzymes

10:30am - Feeling especially unmotivated

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR + multivitamin with magnesium

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

3pm - Sleepy

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

7pm - Fell asleep on couch

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR 

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

Yes, you are taking an excessive amount of gabapentin all day long.

[littlebird]

2 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, you are taking an excessive amount of gabapentin all day long.

 

Thank you! I'll aim at that one first. Wild how much more I'm feeling it without Wellbutrin SR in the mix. Already took the full dose this morning, but do you think it would be ok to start a 5% taper with the other two doses today or should I hold a little longer before starting?

[littlebird]

9 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, you are taking an excessive amount of gabapentin all day long.

 

Okay, tried a 5% taper on 2nd dose to ease into this. Sleepy, but stayed awake. Tried a 10% taper on 3rd dose to test the waters, much more awake, but got some pretty nasty nerve pain:

 

I got a bad case of shingles years ago, and that nerve infection did lasting damage with pitted scars that never faded and postherpetic neuralgia in times where my body is particularly taxed. Feeling that pain extra much after the 10% taper, like I'm being burned in the area I had the shingles break out in.

 

Thinking I’ll do the 5% for 2 weeks thing as opposed to 10% for a month. Is that actually a thing, or did I misremember that? Tried doing searches for "5%" and "2 weeks" but it appears numbers and non-letter characters don't work in the search. Didn't turn up too much when I typed it out.

 

Wanted to double check that "5% for 2 weeks" is a real thing and not something my cog-fogged brain made up! Thinking a 5mg drop is the way for now, just making sure that I'd be holding that long enough.

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Wanted to double check that "5% for 2 weeks" is a real thing

 

Yes, that is correct.

[littlebird]

Med log

Woke up groggy, sore hands from being in fists all night (usually a sign I had nightmares)

10am - 100mg Gabapentin + enzymes

11am - Sleepy, out of it

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 95mg Gabapentin + probiotics <- starting with 5%

2:45pm - Fighting yawns, want to lie down, head full of cotton

3pm - So sleepy, fighting nap, need to log more hours of work. Might try 10% taper for 3rd Gabapentin dose

3:15pm - Breakthrough anxiety of the social variety 

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

5pm - Clocking out to have some Feelings, another partial day…

6pm - 90mg Gabapentin <- trying 10% taper to see if I can handle it

7pm - Nerve pain (worse than usual)

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

Work log

Worked 6 hours today, better than 5 yesterday… still not full time. Gotta get better (and stop falling asleep so much).

 

Nerve pain hit when I tried the 10% taper on the 3rd dose of Gabapentin. I was wondering if my body would respond to the higher drop, seems like a yes! 

 

Anorexia has kicked back up, perhaps backlash for eating so much chocolate lately? Could also be the “fit into wedding outfit” stress, really hard to tell what triggered this bout. Definitely gained some weight tapering WellyB, and have been scared to even try on the wedding outfit in case it doesn’t fit or look good anymore.

 

Partner is going to the mattresses with one of our wedding vendors, ready to blow up all the plans we’ve made with them. The wedding is in less than 2 months, and the vendor is fully taking advantage of us so I understand why my partner is in fight-mode. I think I’d be WAY more stressed about this a few months ago, I don’t get the same levels of panic I used to.

 

Gratitude

Had the memory/motivation to refill hummingbird feeders today! Kept forgetting when I’d go upstairs, then remembering when I was outside and saw the empty feeders. Proud of myself for finally doing this, and will enjoy my lil visitors coming back.

 

I’ve been trying to get on John’s level with the to-do lists, and the “send to google tasks” extension has been useful. I can just send a link of something I need to work on, instead of toggling around tabs and forgetting what I was doing (just like leaving a room, if I leave a webpage I can forget what I was trying to do). 

 

It’s chilly, but warm enough to work outdoors. It helps my mindset a lot to be able to work outdoors.

 

My partner made lunch, and it warmed up the house on this chilly day and filled my anorexia-empty tummy. 

 

Ordered a cute bag to keep scale and meds in while traveling. Got some trips coming up quick this month, gonna see how traveling while tapering goes!

 

Feeling glad to have a plan, gonna do a 5% taper of Gabs (still working on cute nickname for Gabapentin) and old for 2 weeks. Making progress! Hoping I can stop passing out so much.

[j1290]

Just for the record, everything you described sounds like a helluva lot going on.   Also, I like Gabs, too 😀

[littlebird]

5 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I like Gabs, too 😀

 

I'm kinda leaning towards Gabs too! For so long, I though Gabs was a friend. Turns out she was going behind my back making my tum-tum hurt and making my depression worse. 

 

6 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Just for the record, everything you described sounds like a helluva lot going on.

 

I am just grateful it's all hitting while I've got a better handle on meds. When we started wedding planning I was cocktailing them all together and occasionally lost my mind with anxiety and stress. Screamed into many a pillow.

 

I thought for sure anxiety would get worse the less meds I took, but I'm way more chill these days. Didn't see that coming! Love that for me. 😎 Hoping that trend continues!

[FireflyFyte]

8 hours ago, littlebird said:

Wanted to double check that "5% for 2 weeks" is a real thing and not something my cog-fogged brain made up! Thinking a 5mg drop is the way for now, just making sure that I'd be holding that long enough.

 

This is how I am dropping my Olanzapine/Zyprexa - 5% drops every two weeks totaling 10% per month. 

[littlebird]

6 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

This is how I am dropping my Olanzapine/Zyprexa - 5% drops every two weeks totaling 10% per month. 

 

Seems like a gentler way! My body seems pretty sensitive to changes. 2 week crew!