littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[littlebird]

Log

White noise machine strikes again, no waking up to neighbor noise!!

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

3:30pm - Feeling overwhelmed; analysis paralysis

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

Trying to make it to midnight for 100mg Seroquel, so sleepy! Passed out on couch.

 

It’s so cold that it snowed up in the hills, that hardly ever happens here. Cloudy, overcast day affecting my mood. Wishing I could work outside, feeling cramped in here today! 

 

Gratitude

I’m enjoying new leaves growing on my houseplants, every day I see them emerge a little more.

 

Music!! It’s helped me immeasurably since I was small, taping songs off the radio to listen to on my lil walkman. So grateful to have access to more music than I could possibly listen to via the internet! 

 

The sun came out for a moment and my mood soared.

 

Having a productive day! Feels like the fog of the past few weeks is just starting to fade.

 

My partner is a real cutie

 

I got us some “keep up the good work” chocolates to fuel our progress. Gotta practice what I preach and treat myself sometimes. My inner child is thrilled.

 

Walked the dog and enjoyed the flowers and plants. Go nature!

[j1290]

56 minutes ago, littlebird said:

White noise machine strikes again, no waking up to neighbor noise!!

Congrats!  

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

I’m enjoying new leaves growing on my houseplants, every day I see them emerge a little more.

Something very satisfying about that!

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Having a productive day! Feels like the fog of the past few weeks is just starting to fade.

Glad to hear things are smoothing out a little bit.  

[littlebird]

5 minutes ago, j1290 said:

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

White noise machine strikes again, no waking up to neighbor noise!!

Congrats!  

 

Such a game changer! Waking up in a much better mood.

 

5 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Something very satisfying about that!

 

Satisfying and hopeful! Growth and progress.

[j1290]

3 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Such a game changer! Waking up in a much better mood.

I leave this on 24/7 at home and in the Jungle Room at work.  Not that I've explored the subject much but for subtle effects I also like waterfalls and diffusers, and if it ever comes to it the mother of all white noise machines the household vacuum.   That noise travels though and is a real conversation starter with the neighbors.   

[Go2zero]

8 hours ago, littlebird said:

Thank you @Go2zero for catching my mistake! I might've been on the road to inpatient the way that was going. Thank goodness you stepped in there.

I am glad I could be of help by seeing your mistake and glad to see how you reacted on it by adapting your dosage. So good to read that you are doing better now 🙏

[littlebird]

8 hours ago, j1290 said:

I leave this on 24/7 at home and in the Jungle Room at work.  Not that I've explored the subject much but for subtle effects I also like waterfalls and diffusers

 

I'mma look into upping my noise game! A waterfall sounds relaxing. Also I'm so curious what your Jungle Room looks like.

 

Sleep and lack of noise pollution sure make a positive difference, appreciating them in absence today. Starting this Friday with not enough sleep and an early angry wake up from neighbor noise. Time to get a waterfall!

 

Gonna try to finesse this rough morning with self-soothing and music to recenter. Let's see how the ole mental health responds! Maybe I need a little kitchen dancing to shake off this mood, if I'm lucky I might even get a good mood going. 

[j1290]

30 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Starting this Friday with not enough sleep and an early angry wake up from neighbor noise. Time to get a waterfall!

OMG becuase I've worked 3rd shift for a minute or two I can appreciate good sleep maybe more than some.  You can get custom earplugs that are moulded to your ear.  I don't have any but they're supposed to be comfy.  I'm writing myself a note to investigate getting some.   Unfortunately there's only so much you can do if bass is coming through the walls.  As I'm hearing tons of road noise I'm thinking I need to up my game as well!

 

37 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Maybe I need a little kitchen dancing to shake off this mood

This sounds like an excellent policy in general.  

[littlebird]

8 minutes ago, j1290 said:

OMG becuase I've worked 3rd shift for a minute or two I can appreciate good sleep maybe more than some.

 

I bet!! Ooh, that must be extra tough trying to sleep when others are awake, the potential for noise is too high. Nothing turns me into a grizzly bear faster than messing with my sleep, with Bup irritability added in it's a dangerous combination. 

 

8 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Unfortunately there's only so much you can do if bass is coming through the walls.  As I'm hearing tons of road noise I'm thinking I need to up my game as well!

 

We need bedrooms that are also soundproof pods. Maybe I can look into sleeping in a recording booth...

 

9 minutes ago, j1290 said:

50 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Maybe I need a little kitchen dancing to shake off this mood

This sounds like an excellent policy in general.  

 

Worked like a charm! It started off more shadow-box than dance, but we got there in the end. Gotta remember to try shaking off moods with music and dance more often! 

[littlebird]

My psychiatrist is a no-show for this tele-health appt. Since it was our first appt together, I don't have his contact info. I waited weeks for this, what a let down! 

[littlebird]

Rant ahead!

 

Called Kaiser, the doctor cancelled the appointment 15 minutes before it was supposed to begin. That message didn't come through to me and I got an automatic link to the video call instead.

 

I waited over 7 weeks for that appointment! Trying to see when I can get in with someone else, looks like it might be another long wait. 

 

Kaiser is truly the worst healthcare I've experienced, I've had much better treatment at free clinics. If only there was a free clinic for meds! Having a little frustrated cry. 

[Thorin]

4 hours ago, littlebird said:

5 hours ago, j1290 said:

5 hours ago, littlebird said:

Maybe I need a little kitchen dancing to shake off this mood

This sounds like an excellent policy in general.  

 

Worked like a charm! It started off more shadow-box than dance, but we got there in the end. Gotta remember to try shaking off moods with music and dance more often! 

This really works. When I have anxious energy I find shaking it out and moving can really help!

[Thorin]

24 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Rant ahead!

 

Called Kaiser, the doctor cancelled the appointment 15 minutes before it was supposed to begin. That message didn't come through to me and I got an automatic link to the video call instead.

 

I waited over 7 weeks for that appointment! Trying to see when I can get in with someone else, looks like it might be another long wait. 

 

Kaiser is truly the worst healthcare I've experienced, I've had much better treatment at free clinics. If only there was a free clinic for meds! Having a little frustrated cry. 

That’s horrible. It would be very frustrating and disappointing. Very unprofessional as well. Sorry you have to deal with that

[Fifree]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

My psychiatrist is a no-show for this tele-health appt. Since it was our first appt together, I don't have his contact info. I waited weeks for this, what a let down! 

I’m so sorry this happened to you @littlebird. Im shocked that they didn’t get a fill-in of some kind. Psychiatrists should kinda know that their patients are likely to be fragile mentally!

 

Please accept a virtual hug from across the seas.

[rmce72a]

Oh, no! I am so sorry for you about this. Terrible treatment, especially for those who are struggling anyway. What a disappointment. Sending love, littlebird.  xo Rebecca

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

That’s horrible. It would be very frustrating and disappointing. Very unprofessional as well. Sorry you have to deal with that

 

I made a formal complaint, which was cathartic if nothing else. I think there is a CA standard of care act I could sue them under for this long wait between making appointment and receiving care, but I don't think I have the energy for all that. Got in late next month, at least it's not another 7 weeks.

 

I'm trying to remind myself their doctors have been terrible, the advice I got from people on here was a million times better anyway, and it's not a loss... but I'm still surprisingly upset. 

 

Chocolate time.

 

8 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Im shocked that they didn’t get a fill-in of some kind. Psychiatrists should kinda know that their patients are likely to be fragile mentally!

 

This is par for the course with this company, unfortunately. They've been sued and had multiple strikes of mental healthcare workers asking them to hire more staff, and they just keep on doing what they're doing. Too big to fail or be affected by lawsuits and union strikes!

 

10 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Please accept a virtual hug from across the seas.

 

So happily, thank you!! Sending a hug across the globe back.

 

4 minutes ago, rmce72a said:

Oh, no! I am so sorry for you about this. Terrible treatment, especially for those who are struggling anyway. What a disappointment. Sending love, littlebird.  xo Rebecca

 

Thank you!! I appreciate that. I think I needed to have my feelings validated, I'd been telling myself to let it go and move on. Maybe I need to sit with these feelings, otherwise they're likely to keep popping up.

 

My partner and I are considering switching insurance providers (we have a mid-year opportunity since we got married recently), but the other option has a $3,000 deductible and only covers 80% of costs after that, so an emergency room visit could put us in serious debt. American healthcare, why are you like this?

 

Thank you, everyone!! This helped me feel better about having strong feelings about a missed appointment. I think it might be pinging some childhood neglect stuff, the way my eyes keep filling with tears. I feel like a lil kid, which is usually a sign that something got triggered.

[j1290]

5 hours ago, littlebird said:

 

Called Kaiser, the doctor cancelled the appointment

 

5 hours ago, littlebird said:

I waited over 7 weeks for that appointment!

I see nothing has improved at Kaiser.  That's unsurprisingly sucky.   

 

10 hours ago, littlebird said:

We need bedrooms that are also soundproof pods. Maybe I can look into sleeping in a recording booth...

If I ever build a house (hah) I'll have to look into filling the walls with sand or whatever they do for those things.  

 

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

I think it might be pinging some childhood neglect stuff

Brutal.   I hear that.   Hits so many notes for me.  I'm really sorry that happened to you, Littlebird.  Both then and now.   It wasn't fair. 

If I hadn't been doing a lot of EMDR I'd be a wreck just reading this.  

[littlebird]

31 minutes ago, j1290 said:

4 hours ago, littlebird said:

I think it might be pinging some childhood neglect stuff

Brutal.   I hear that.   Hits so many notes for me.  I'm really sorry that happened to you, Littlebird.  Both then and now.   It wasn't fair. 

If I hadn't been doing a lot of EMDR I'd be a wreck just reading this.  

 

Thanks, friend. I'm glad you have some EMDER re-categorizing memories to less painful places and things aren't as triggering as they were before. Developmental trauma is a trip and a half. It's isolating too, helps to talk to people who have been there. Thanks again.

 

33 minutes ago, j1290 said:

11 hours ago, littlebird said:

We need bedrooms that are also soundproof pods. Maybe I can look into sleeping in a recording booth...

If I ever build a house (hah) I'll have to look into filling the walls with sand or whatever they do for those things.  

 

Yes!! I want my bedroom (at least) to be a soundproof room with a "do not disturb" sign on the knob. The library too, a whole room for books with the coziest reading chair imaginable and great light for plants, since we're building dream houses here. Maybe a fireplace for crackling ambiance. Woo, I changed my whole mood with some dream-building. And (way too much) chocolate, I think I need more coping skills than treats and work.

[littlebird]

Okie dokie, some days you have to surf bigger waves than others! Unexpectedly hard day, but I coped. Part of me wanted to have a drink after a long day week month.

 

Funny how a part of me very much just wants an easy way to feel better! Did not have a beer, as much as I'd like to have been able to crack one like a normal person. I think I need to have sparkling water in the house, that might feel like a decent replacement.

 

Feeling like I've gone a couple rounds in the ring of life today, and took some hits. All I want to do is call it a night and hit the reset button by falling asleep, but I'm on this damn med schedule and I'd have to skip Pristiq to take Seroquel since they interact OR just stay up till midnight. 

 

I'm having a bit of a complain, and I guess that's what I need. Sometimes life is hard, and we just have to pick ourselves up and keep putting one foot in front of the other to get to a less hard part of life. Gosh, we're a persistent and patient bunch!

[littlebird]

Log

Didn’t get enough sleep, grumpy!

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100 mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

It's hard to make it till midnight for 100mg Seroquel, I'm ready to throw in the towel on today.

 

This schedule is a drag!! I’m so bummed I messed up what I had going with WellyB SR. Ah well. 

 

A perfect storm of big life stress, freezing winds, and lack of sleep have me in the first bad fibromyalgia flare I've had in a minute. Hoo boy, it's gonna be a night for a fragment of a muscle relaxant and maybe some indica tincture or something. Definitely pre-heating bed too! I want to move to the tropics, plz.

 

Gratitude

Went to the barber today, and was complimented on how thick my hair is, so it’s not thinning as much as my hair-loss anxiety was telling me. Looking sharp too! Feels good to have a fresh cut.

 

Escaped a parking ticket!

 

Partner is baking another loaf of bread! The house is the warmest it’s been all day, and it smells so good.

 

New episode of Drag Race tonight. The harder the week, the more I look forward to that Friday treat. 

 

Despite anorexia being loud after some chocolate gluttony, I made a healthy dinner tonight and ate a good amount. Proud of myself for pushing through!

[j1290]

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Went to the barber today, and was complimented on how thick my hair is, so it’s not thinning as much as my hair-loss anxiety was telling me.

haha you know what I'd give to hear that compliment?!?  That's worth a million bucks.  Glad to hear it!

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Escaped a parking ticket!

Wow!  Nothing like the feeling of getting let off the hook.   

 

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

All I want to do is call it a night and hit the reset button by falling asleep, but I'm on this damn med schedule and I'd have to skip Pristiq to take Seroquel since they interact OR just stay up till midnight. 

How are you keeping up with that schedule these days?  Every 2 hours looks at least predictable, but yeah I hear you I wound up adjusting because I couldn't do the midnight pill either.   Too easy to fall asleep and forget.  

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Proud of myself for pushing through!

Yay for healthy dinners and good self care!   

[Fifree]

Just now, j1290 said:

it’s not thinning as much as my hair-loss anxiety was telling me.

One of my daughters is always worrying about her hair being thin. She actually has hair like Kate Middleton. We call it « hair dysmorphia » at our place. 

[littlebird]

4 hours ago, j1290 said:

11 hours ago, littlebird said:

Went to the barber today, and was complimented on how thick my hair is, so it’s not thinning as much as my hair-loss anxiety was telling me.

haha you know what I'd give to hear that compliment?!?  That's worth a million bucks.  Glad to hear it!

 

I almost cried with relief. I said I'd been worried about thinning, and was directed to look at all the hair on the floor around me needing to be swept up. It is thinner on top than it was, but I have some extra to mask it. The thinning slowed down after a couple days of big hair loss. Started taking herbs to help, not sure if it's that or body getting used to the higher dose.

 

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

4 hours ago, j1290 said:

t’s not thinning as much as my hair-loss anxiety was telling me.

One of my daughters is always worrying about her hair being thin. She actually has hair like Kate Middleton. We call it « hair dysmorphia » at our place. 

 

This tracks!! I have body dysmorphia, so why not hair dysmorphia too? Realized when my hands were covered in lost hairs in the shower, my imagination went straight to imagining a bald spot on top of my head. I need to pull out a mirror and check! I definitely lost a lot of hair when I upped the dose, but it doesn't seem to be as bad as my dysmorphia is telling me. Whew...

[littlebird]

log

10am - 100mg Gabapentin

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

4pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin

8pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

I wish more people wore masks. It’s such an easy way to prevent the spread of disease! Being immunocompromised in a pandemic feels lonely sometimes.

 

Gratitude

The sunshine is so nice!!

 

Got out and about with a friend, and it was great to hang out. We’re social creatures after all!

 

The soup my partner made is so good, their best yet. It’s been so nice on these cold days to have a hot bowl of soup. Their bread is good too!

 

The more I push myself to do things, the better I feel. Depression is such a force of “do nothing, stay home,” but when I overcome that I feel better.

 

My dog is so cute, we had a little cuddle tonight.

[j1290]

48 minutes ago, littlebird said:

The soup my partner made is so good, their best yet. It’s been so nice on these cold days to have a hot bowl of soup. Their bread is good too!

A feast!   Sounds perfect for this weather.  Very cozy. 

 

48 minutes ago, littlebird said:

The more I push myself to do things, the better I feel. Depression is such a force of “do nothing, stay home,” but when I overcome that I feel better.

haha well said as always.  That's pretty funny that's exactly how it feels.   Great to see you posting a nice day and sharing some of that sunlight with us.   

[littlebird]

Normally, if I slept late on a Sunday, I'd be glad I got extra rest. Woke up at 11 today, and my first thought was, "****, my schedule!!" 

 

I either need to stay up to 1am taking everything an hour late, double up on a dose, take something too close to something else, or skip a dose. I'm leaning towards taking everything else on time, and letting the Gabapentin overlap a little with the first WellyB.

 

Not such a relaxing way to start the morning, although my body definitely needed the extra sleep. Been feeling under the weather lately, not sure if I'm fighting something off or it's emotional (or all of the above and then some). 

[Go2zero]

 

 

FYI  Just made this video. Hope this helps.

[littlebird]

29 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

FYI  Just made this video. Hope this helps.

 

This is great, thank you!!! I appreciate you taking the time to do this. Very helpful!

[littlebird]

Log

11am - 100mg Gabapentin (slept late)

12pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2pm - 100mg Gabapentin

Fell asleep, unusual for me to nap, slept 2 hours

6pm - 100mg Gabapentin + missed 25mg Wellbutrin

8pm - 15mg Wellbutrin - felt too amped up to take full dose again so soon

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

Midnight 100 mg Seroquel incoming!

 

Today was a tough day! Twice, in the morning and after an unexpected nap, I woke up in a panic saying, “What time is it? ****! My med schedule!!”

 

Taking this many pills a day is really a lot. I have some travel coming up next month, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it.

 

Gratitude

I made dinner despite depression telling me, “Be lazy, have leftovers again.” Healthy, lots of veg, and pushed through anorexia. Felt pretty proud of myself, and it turned out pretty well.

 

On these cold nights, feeling especially grateful to have a home and a warm bed.

 

Despite sleeping late and taking a nap messing up my schedule, it does feel like my body majorly needed the sleep. Glad I got some rest!

 

My partner got our dog an especially big bone, and it’s pretty funny to see this lil dog parading around proudly with a bone as long as her torso.

 

Glad I got out and saw a friend this weekend. It’s good to mix it up!

 

My haircut is looking pretty slick, glad I did that.

 

I have an upcoming costume party; it’s been fun to think about outfits for my partner and I. 

 

Feeling really grateful for my partner. Glad we found each other and stuck together!

[littlebird]

It's been surprisingly hard to stop drinking! I didn't even do it that often, but I miss the "normality" of having a beer with someone. Been a little jealous of my partner being able to crack open a beer after a long day to unwind too. I barely drank at home before all this, but not being able to has been making me want to more than usual, you know?

 

So! I put a bunch of sparkling waters in the fridge, then I can crack open a can and have the feeling of giving myself a treat, but it's pure hydration instead of a depressant like beer. Small thing, but it's been helping! 

 

I do feel a lot better not having alcohol mixing up my meds, but I'm having some feelings around it being yet one more loss of normality thanks to meds. Ah well, it's worth the benefits in the long run. Did not expect this to be a tough one, though! Perhaps I was relying on that occasional drinking more than I knew.

[Thorin]

10 minutes ago, littlebird said:

It's been surprisingly hard to stop drinking! I didn't even do it that often, but I miss the "normality" of having a beer with someone. Been a little jealous of my partner being able to crack open a beer after a long day to unwind too. I barely drank at home before all this, but not being able to has been making me want to more than usual, you know?

 

So! I put a bunch of sparkling waters in the fridge, then I can crack open a can and have the feeling of giving myself a treat, but it's pure hydration instead of a depressant like beer. Small thing, but it's been helping! 

 

I do feel a lot better not having alcohol mixing up my meds, but I'm having some feelings around it being yet one more loss of normality thanks to meds. Ah well, it's worth the benefits in the long run. Did not expect this to be a tough one, though! Perhaps I was relying on that occasional drinking more than I knew.

I struggled with this too and also ended up on sparkling water. My partner bought me a sodastream to which I grumbled I wasn’t very excited about it. Then I very quickly became addicted to it and had to go back and let her know what an awesome gift it was and how much I appreciated it! It completely sucks not being able to have a drink. But it is not forever! I actually find now that most of the time I don’t want a drink. And some of the time when I DO want a drink it’s because there’s something I need to deal with and don’t want to. Promise it gets easier.

[littlebird]

10 minutes ago, Thorin said:

My partner bought me a sodastream to which I grumbled I wasn’t very excited about it. Then I very quickly became addicted to it and had to go back and let her know what an awesome gift it was and how much I appreciated it!

 

This was my partner with an air fryer. They grumble-grumbled but now use it more than I do. I was thinking about getting a sodastream, but there's a sweet old lady in my neighborhood who collects cans and it would greatly cut down on the size of the bag of cans I give her. I know it's better for the environment to sodastream, but she's so grateful! Can't cut into that until we move or she does.

 

12 minutes ago, Thorin said:

It completely sucks not being able to have a drink. But it is not forever! I actually find now that most of the time I don’t want a drink.

 

I've discovered sometimes I'm just thirsty! Getting in tune with body more, I had to be cut off from it and all the trauma that lives in there for so long that I'm still getting in the habit of talking to myself about what I need. I think I'm gonna have to be a bad littlebird on wedding day and have some champagne, it would feel too weird not to on that day. Shhh, don't read that, mods.

 

13 minutes ago, Thorin said:

some of the time when I DO want a drink it’s because there’s something I need to deal with and don’t want to.

 

That part!! I've been finding myself in this cycle (inspired by @Fifree's conversation with go faster demon):

- I want a drink

- Can't drink. I want to open work email and be productive

- It's late, work-life balance remember?

- Weed then! Anything! 

 

It's about then in the thought cycle I realize I'm running from something. OOF, this work ain't for the faint of heart.

[littlebird]

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

- Can't drink. I want to open work email and be productive

- It's late, work-life balance remember?

 

Actually, this site has been a godsend for this. I've been trying to cut down on how much I work nights and weekends, which hasn't been easy. Some of the team is in Eastern Europe, so their mornings are gearing up when we're winding down for the night on the west coast. Easy to get pulled in at times, or if my partner is working and it overlaps with my work, or if we get an idea while chatting and feel like it's fun to run with it...

 

Anywho, talking to folks on here and processing in logs/journals has made me realize I was truly addicted to work for much of my life and used it to avoid thinking about trauma. It's clear in hindsight, but it's taking some real effort to repair that in the present.

 

So, when that lil "Ahh, I need to feel different" addiction thought cycle starts, I've been catching myself. When I open my work inbox, I'll look at the clock. Do I really want to be working close to midnight?

 

It's been helpful to click onto here instead, reading the wealth of information about this cocktail I'm on, and chatting with you truly wonderful folks. Making changes, little by little, day by day. One step, one night at a time.

 

Work can wait till Monday! It's Wind Down Time.

[Thorin]

27 minutes ago, littlebird said:

This was my partner with an air fryer. They grumble-grumbled but now use it more than I do.

Hmmm is it funny or annoying for the other partner when this happens?

 

28 minutes ago, littlebird said:

I know it's better for the environment to sodastream, but she's so grateful! C

Ah altruism. Very nice!

 

28 minutes ago, littlebird said:

had to be cut off from it and all the trauma that lives in there for so long that I'm still getting in the habit of talking to myself abo

IMm STILL getting used to this. This journey sucks and I’m well and truly bored of it. Wish I could just take a substance and feel good. But that doesn’t work! I’ve tried it (for 28 years) and now here I am.

 

30 minutes ago, littlebird said:

think I'm gonna have to be a bad littlebird on wedding day and have some champagne, it would feel too weird not to on that day

I definitely would if I was getting married! Some people have continued to drink throughout their taper. I find it messes with me so I don’t. 

 

31 minutes ago, littlebird said:

That part!! I've been finding myself in this cycle (inspired by @Fifree's conversation with go faster demon):

- I want a drink

- Can't drink. I want to open work email and be productive

- It's late, work-life balance remember?

- Weed then! Anything! 

I’ve always been an ‘anything’, just give me something rather than what I don’t want to face man. Not anymore. I’m all for a little escapism but I’m going to face this stuff if it kills me! (Hope it doesn’t 😉. Hasn’t so far)

[FireflyFyte]

On 2/24/2023 at 6:05 PM, littlebird said:

Called Kaiser, the doctor cancelled the appointment 15 minutes before it was supposed to begin. That message didn't come through to me and I got an automatic link to the video call instead.

 

I waited over 7 weeks for that appointment! Trying to see when I can get in with someone else, looks like it might be another long wait. 

 

Kaiser is truly the worst healthcare I've experienced, I've had much better treatment at free clinics. If only there was a free clinic for meds! Having a little frustrated cry. 

 

I am so sorry that you had to go through this, littlebird - so unprofessional on their side! 

[littlebird]

11 hours ago, Thorin said:

12 hours ago, littlebird said:

This was my partner with an air fryer. They grumble-grumbled but now use it more than I do.

Hmmm is it funny or annoying for the other partner when this happens?

 

Depends on a lot of factors, I guess!! 😂  I've definitely had my moments of, "Don't know about that one," then coming around and saying, "You were right, that's cool," so it goes both ways. I was that way with the InstantPot, super skeptic who came around.

 

11 hours ago, Thorin said:

I’ve always been an ‘anything’, just give me something rather than what I don’t want to face man. Not anymore. I’m all for a little escapism but I’m going to face this stuff if it kills me! (Hope it doesn’t 😉. Hasn’t so far)

 

Yup!! With developmental trauma, how could we not? It's not like we had coping skills as good examples, it was a "anything that helps me survive this" learning experience.

 

Now that we've got utility belts full of tools and tricks, we're ready to face this **** without numbing it out. We're brave as ****, yo! If Valhalla is where warriors go, I'll have a drink there with all y'all on the other side. We better get our battlesongs perfected, love that idea @j1290

[littlebird]

11 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I am so sorry that you had to go through this, littlebird - so unprofessional on their side! 

 

Thank you! Yeah, unprofessional and also par for the course. I have years' worth of stories of how bad this company is, but there's no need to bring down the mood! It is better care for emergency situations than other ones, but one of the worst plans for mental health. Maybe one day there'll be a class-action lawsuit against them I can hop on! They're liable for sure.

 

Appreciate the support! Hope you're holding up well.