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Hi all! So happy to have found this place! I’ve browsed a few posts, and I think I’ve found my people lol! About me- I’m 51 years old, and have been on and off a bunch of psychiatric meds since the 90s. My memory is poor (more on that later), so I can’t remember exact dates, but I have been on Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin and Escitalopram, along with occasional benzos and zopiclone for short periods. Honestly- i wish I had never started taking any of them. Hindsight and a really good therapist has made me realize that many of my choices in life have just not been very congruent with my wants/needs/values etc, leading to some serious cognitive dissonance. I have also experienced severe professional burnout many times, and have some childhood trauma that I had never dealt with. Had I found a good therapist in my 20s, I may have never started taking these drugs. BUT- I am generally a pretty optimistic person, so I am looking forward, and feeling so grateful to have been able to improve my knowledge on withdrawal, so I can do it right this time. I have never tapered slowly. I have always followed my doctors’ advice, and my slowest taper was off of Effexor, and that only took two months. I had little difficulty coming off Wellbutrin, but all the others were awful- restlessness, irritability, brain zaps, bouts of severe depression, tremors, insomnia, extreme sensitivity to light and noise. I most recently started taking 10mg of escitalopram in 2016. I had changed jobs, and was having crippling anxiety about my new role. I didn’t want to start taking it- i had been off of it since before my daughter was born in 2009. But being in a new job, I felt I had to show my employer that I was willing to do anything to get back to work asap. So I started taking it, and took four months off to pull myself together, so to speak. Fast forward to 2020- still on my 10mg of escitalopram. Didn’t want to be, but couldn’t face weaning, and all the withdrawal symptoms. Then the pandemic hit. I work in healthcare, so needless to say, this was a scary time for me. Anxiety peaked, and my doctor increased my dose to 20mg. It didn’t help at all. My anxiety remained high for the next two years… I was just surviving. I was so anxious and burned out, I barely remember anything from that time period. It’s like a bad dream. i finally contracted COVID in June 2022. I was not hospitalized, but was very ill for four weeks. When I finally managed to go back to work, I couldn’t function. Went off on sick leave, and was eventually diagnosed with long COVID. My symptoms have included crippling fatigue, severe right sided headaches, chest pain/pressure, palpitations, severe brain fog, memory issues, internal ‘vibrations’ (for lack of a better term), cyanosis when my heart rate goes over 125 and presyncope. I haven’t worked since August 2022. Over the last two years, I have learned to manage my symptoms fairly well with diet, hydration, additional salt, compression stockings, meditation and my awesome therapist. I started to taper my escitalopram last November, with fairly large dosage cuts… it occurred to me that I’ve done this before, and always ended up right back on the meds. So I started researching how to properly taper, and realized that everything I had done in the past was misguided, and likely caused some long term health issues. So I’ve decided to slow my taper waaaay down, hoping to get off of these drugs for good! Feeling very optimistic! 😁 I am also taking low dose naltrexone 2.5mg for long COVID, estrogel for hot flashes, vitamin D 2000iu/day, B12 1000mcg per day (I’m vegan- no choice on this one!). i think that’s it- in a nutshell… I’ve had more than my share of legit emotional turmoil too, but it’s all just too much to share here. I will say that I’m in a really great emotional place right now, so I feel the time is right to do a proper taper. I look forward to sharing my journey here! 😊

I took Escitalopram for a week (6 days 5mg and the last 10mg) and then decided that it wasn't for me (in consultation with two GPs and two psychiatrists). For the first two days after stopping, everything remained relatively normal and initially improved (instead of lying around for 24 hours, my participation in life increased again). On the third day, a strong inner restlessness, associated insomnia and sexual dysfunction set in. This condition has now been happily changing from better to worse for 7 days. I also have the feeling that I'm not quite myself emotionally, but this could also be due to the fact that I'm worried about my current condition. So I wanted to know if you have had similar experiences and what the time frame was for you?

Hi all, I'm 43 and in the UK. Glad to have found this forum. I came across it as feeling desperate due to the debilitating nausea I've been experiencing, both from trying to start SSRI's and now trying to taper of them. I was doing ok, mental health wise until some repeated traumas happened over the last few years (I also separated from my long term partner which added to things) and have struggled with PTSD symptoms and depression. I've experienced the side effects of starting and stopping SSRI's before so was reluctant to go on them again, but I became exhausted by the relentless PTSD symptoms which didn't subside by trying other things. So I succumbed and since November last year had been trying to go ON Escitalipram. The side effects of starting Escitalipram been horrendous - namely the very high level of nausea and struggling to eat (I've also lost a lot of weight over the last 5 months and was already naturally slim). I got up to 8mg using the drops and pretty much every step of the way I've felt very poorly with the nausea. Im not noticing any other side effects. I've now decided to taper off as 1. the sickness side effects are too debilitating, 2. I don't want the damaging to effects of SSRI's, 3. I'm not sure how much they are helping my mental health anyway ( it's hard to tell as feeling so physically ill all the time is getting me down). One week ago, I dropped from 8mg to 7mg and peak nausea has set in. My plan is to slowly taper, 1 mg at a time. I've only been on it 5 months but I know it's going to be hell coming off it. I guess I'm wondering what others experience of nausea, weight loss and no appetite is and any advice would be appreciated? I feel I'm doing what I can. Going for walks, getting rest. I'm trying to eat little and often even though I feel i'm forcing myself. Things like snacking on little bits like snacking on nuts, cheese, good bread, boiled eggs, bananas. I need to be able to function as I'm a single mum and have to work (although I'm lucky as run my own business from home which isn't too full on). The worst is having to shop and cook for the kids whilst I feel like this. Just the thought of food turns my stomach. I don't know if there's anything else I can do to relieve the nausea and feel relatively normal again, so at least I can eat ok? Is it worth asking the doctors to prescribe something else? An anti emetic maybe? When I was pregnant I had hyperemesis and the only antiemetic that gave me slight relief was ondansetron, but I think this interacts with SSRI's so not sure if it's a good idea? To add, I started Trazadone at night a couple of months ago (100mg) mostly for sleep, to help with the panic attacks I was waking up with. I do want to continue with this as I don't seem to have any side effects with it and I am sleeping better. The dose I'm on is not the therapeutic dose for depression and anxiety, but it is definitely helping me sleep. I wondered if it would be a good idea to increase the Trazadone slightly whilst tapering off the Escitalipram? Thanks all for your time.x

I'll keep this post simple because I don't care to complain so much. For reference I'm 31 and male. I had a bad reaction to 5mg of escitalopram (prescribed for anxiety and mild depression) on February 22nd that left my head burning for hours. Earlier the same day I also took Lion's Mane (which I didn't realize at the time has MAOI properties, there's barely any research you can find about this through Google). I'm pretty sure it was a case of serotonin syndrome. I felt spaced out and overly jumpy/reactive and the doctors at the hospital didn't really seem too concerned about my condition because I was otherwise still conscious and that was good enough for them I guess. They're not very competent when it comes to identifying SS. I had also noticed immediate side effects (genital numbness) while I was using the washroom which left me very concerned. 8 hours of my time was wasted with basic testing and a chest x-ray and they sent me home with a blistering headache like it was nothing. My brain was basically fried and I could barely string words together. I've been eating completely healthy since the incident (lots of fish and meat) and stopped drinking caffeinated tea/coffee. I also take certain supplements here and there (Maca, Citrulline, Vitamin C/D, Magnesium Threonate/Glycinate/Taurate). The persistent symptoms I have are anhedonia, DP/DR, heightened senses, anxiety, vivid dreams (that are seemingly mocking me), and sexual dysfunction (ED, PE, etc). The timeline so far is very odd because a lot of the really bad stuff didn't hit me until a month afterwards. First week: Initial withdrawal. Numbness, GI issues (subsided), feelings of hopelessness/doom, and suicidal thoughts. I had to sleep in my mother's room one night to prevent myself going mad. 1-2 weeks: Still numb. Genitals extremely sore and I had a lot of trouble urinating (bladder control). 2-3 weeks: Constant mild head zaps/pressures/aches, otherwise no changes. 4 weeks: Genital soreness/numbness mostly gone, but things still dysfunctional. Woke up with full-blown DP/DR exactly on day 29. Intense headaches, tons of anxiety, muscle twitching. 5 weeks: Same as week before, though less pronounced. 6 weeks: Volatile mood shifts, crying, poor blood flow all over, constant muscle aches/weakness, still some twitching, dry mouth, inconsistent thirst signals, less/no hunger signals. I'm now just over 6 weeks (46 days) and I'm feeling very discouraged. My libido is still nonexistent, my brain is a mess (I can't enjoy my primary hobby anymore: software development), I'm struggling to find any meaning to life, and I have nobody to talk to that actually understands what I'm going through (I was okay with being a loner before all this, but now it's somewhat upsetting). My sister was the one who encouraged me to try this SSRI (she's also on it) and I haven't really felt like talking to her since a month ago due to what happened. My mother and my cat are currently the only support I have so far, aside from one random guy on Reddit (the PSSD sub is generally too depressing to read and every other is full of pharma shills). I'd be grateful if anyone can help me make sense of my situation. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't completely lost my s*** yet.

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Hello everyone, I was on and off different medications, including multiple SSRIs, from adolesence into my late 20s, which ended with a very bad clonazepam withdrawal. The following decade had its challenges of different PAWS symptoms, including some bad waves, but for the most part, I lived a fairly rich and functional life. My withdrawal from Lexapro in 2007 was also extremely quick and took many years of tinkering with supplements, exercise, and other methods to deal with, but over time it was fairly manageable. Over the past year, as personal issues mounted one after the other, I found myself in a state of genuine psychiatric crisis. The benzo PAWS precipitated a two week period of extreme dysautonomia and insomnia which was helped with Trazodone, and I was back to being chemically stable for the next month or so. However, the psychological issues that existed independently of any of these chemical questions were not adequately addressed, and after a period of extreme spiraling, I attempted to reinstate Lexapro at 5mg, which I took for one day. Within a few hours, I found that pretty much all my lingering SSRI PAWS symptoms were gone, I was thinking extra clearly, and was feeling quite optimistic. The next day, however, I found myself experiencing intense anhedonia, brain fog, and anxiety, along with other symptoms that I attempted to ameliorate with some supplements that had previosly helped but ended up just inflaming everything. Over the next couple days I experienced unprecedented DP/DR, inability to feel emotions, and a bizarre difficulty crying. At the end of the week, I took a dose of about .1mg which that night again ameliorated most of the symptoms, only to have them return over the next day or two. In the past few weeks, I've instituted a true microdose of around 0.01-0.02mg, which has seemed to attenuate some of the DP/DR, but the the emotionlessness has remained. I also implemented low dose lamictal, and I can't tell if it's helping or revving up my system even more in the long run. I've found, oddly, that when I don't take the Lexapro microdose for a day, the dyspnea/emotional blunting actually goes away, so I don't know what is caused by the SSRI, what's caued by withdrawal, or what is psychological. Even after bringing the microdose back after one day off, within seven hours after taking it, I actually feel my mood lift, followed by all the other symptoms mentioned. Right now, I'm having immense trouble thinking clearly, much more brain fog, headache, emotional flatness, and more tingling in my feet along with dysautonomia than usual. I don't know if I should attempt to switch to Prozac or sertraline, increase the Lexapro, dose it multiple times a day, get off entirely, add more lamictal, remove the lamictal, or what. Like many others on this forum, every option feels like a bad one with hidden risks, and I have to remind myself to not feel personal guilt over this situation. Thanks very much for any help.

Hey guys, I've been on Escilatopram/ Lexapro for 17 years and I went from 20mg to 15mg with not much fuss. I stayed there for around 8 months coz I kept missing appointments with my psychiatrist. In those months, I started taking Omega 3, Lion's Mane and I'm on Probiotics and Magnesium anyway. I also started going to the gym 3 times a week. If making exercise a habit is a mystery to you, read this amazing book https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits. It might be important to note that I've been on an intense healing journey for 4 years. I've done lots of talk therapy(covered), breathwork(not covered), subconscious therapy(not covered), somatic massage(not covered), and done lots of reading on the nervous system, anger, etc. All of this built my self-awareness, so I know my limits a bit better. Then I went down to 10mg with liquid Escilatopram and had a rough week. I was very angry, and lots of thoughts/ feelings came up. I'm guessing this was all suppressed by the medicine. So I started looking for urgent therapy. In Germany, you need a consultation appointment to verify that you need therapy before you actually get therapy. In Berlin, you go through KV Berlin (association of Doctors); you can even make an appointment online now: https://www.116117.de/de/index.php. Click on the time to book the appointment. But you need to go back to KV database of doctors to figure out what languages these available doctors speak. Make sure your browser is not automatically translating; it messes up the search. So, after the first rough week of withdrawal, I've had a week of feeling ok with bouts of irrational anger, which was under control. Also, I didn't push myself and took naps when overwhelmed, normally 2 hours each. I also took pharmacy-grade Ketamine to cope with the really rough moments and took 1.2gm of magic mushrooms once in that 2 week period. I only went to the gym twice this week and did a big bike ride and forest walk. I also added B-complex to my supplements. So I did the consultation appointment, and she told me to go to a day clinic within a hospital where they would also deal with my chronic pain and give me daily therapy (covered). Apparently, that clinic will get me on to weekly therapy sessions once I'm ready for that. I will do that after Easter weekend and continue tapering. There's also an option to stay at a rehabilitation clinic (covered) which has a daily schedule of therapy and exercise. So the journey continues. I've tried to get off these meds before, and I feel a lot more stable and in control. I do believe the supplements and exercise help. My husband is also being super supportive. I see my psychiatrist soon and will taper down to maybe 7mg or 5mg. I'm not the most patient person, I want to be able to go back to work quickly without biting anyone's head off. Has anyone tried vagus nerve exercises to calm the nervous system in these bad moments?

Hi friends... When SSRI's came into my life, they saved me. Through most of my life (teens and twenties) I had successfully lived with my mental health struggles using tools such as exercise, time outdoors, and an ever changing and stimulating lifestyle as one has during this time of their life. When I moved in my early 30s, completely upending my life as I had never lived anywhere else, I was no longer able to deal with the depths my depression took me to. After failing to find relief from Wellbutrin, I reluctantly decided to try Lexapro. It truly saved me when I was at my lowest point until then. I knew about some of the side effects, weight gain, lower libido, which is why I hesitated. But, as I was no longer functioning, something needed to change. And, it did. What I did not know, was how horrific it was going to be to try to get back off of this drug. I understand myself better now, and I've created an environment in my life that should help me to thrive. But then there is this drug. It is like a veil. More subtle than the depression was, but still something that keeps me from living fully. It keeps me from feeling fully. In 2019, I was ready to come off of the drug. With a new psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed SSRI to me), I expressed that I was ready to come off of Lexapro. She told me to cut the dose in half for a few weeks, then in half again, then for a few more weeks, then I would be off the medication. After 5 days at half dose, I was having flu-like symptoms, crying whenever I moved more intensely than a walk, not sleeping....it was too much. I told my doctor and she said to go back to the full dose and we could try again slower at a later time. Then, she retired, and I moved to help my Mom go through cancer treatment. Not a good time to remove your antidepressant. In April 2023, my Mom went into remission, I had the best job, I lived in a place that was good for my soul, and I had so much support around me that I was ready to try again. I did not have a new doctor by now to support me, but I had learned the first time that I needed to slow the tapering process down. I thought I could do it. I reduced my dose by only 25% for 2 weeks, then again to half dose for 1 day. After not sleeping for 4 consecutive nights in a row in addition to the previous WD symptoms I had the first time, I went back to full dose. I was angry and sad. I felt like I had no control and my inability to come off the drug made me want to come off it even more. Why don't doctors tell you about this before they put you on it???? Yes, I've gained weight, my sex life has suffered, but not being able to stop taking this little pill is appalling. I didn't sign up to be dependent on a life-numbing drug for my entire lifetime!@@ My Mom did pass away this last year. The last thing I've needed since April is to take away this crutch when my heart has been more broken than it ever has before. But I am healing, and I think part of that healing process is to take back full ownership and control over my mind and body by getting off Lexapro. I have a two new doctors who are going to support me through this, and I have this site!!! I am so incredibly thankful for the resources and stories about people's journeys going through the same process I will. Thank you all SO MUCH for this site. My new doctors have prescribed me some additional psychoactive drugs to support this process: Lamotrigine and Bupropion. I am taking these to help alleviate WD symptoms from tapering off Lexapro, but I am very anxious about becoming dependent on these as well. My goal is to come off all psychoactive drugs to see where I am in navigating my mental health without chemical support. We will see...

Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?

Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hi people, I am kind of desperate as I feel really weird for the last week or so and it is not the anxiety or the depression that I started the antidepressants for (at least this is how I perceive it). As you can see in the signature, there were a lot of changes and adjustments since I started the antidepressants. My current doc (will have a meeting with her on Wednesday) recommended to go up to 150mg of zoloft and so I did, in December. But by the end of December I started to feel super anxious again and upon google research (doc not available during the holidays), I decided by myself to drop back to 125. A week after that I started to feel really good, maybe best I've been since I started the medication. It lasted about until around 20th of January when I started to feel another increase in anxiety. Contacted the doc and she recommended another drop, to 100 mg. About 5 days later I started to feel a bit better, but only for 2-3 days. Then the weirdness started. I now have a feeling that I haven't had before (of course, I might perceive it like that since the mix of depression and anxiety with OCD and health anxiety on top is a BOMB cocktail), like I am not the same anymore, a dreamlike feeling, a bit dissociative, a bit emotionally numb, a bit of confusion, ability to focus on something dropped a bit etc. Feels a bit like the derealization I had when I felt into depression, back in summer 2023, but without that severe depression. I fear that my brain got permanently "damaged" (a bit illogical, I know, but the fear is there) from all these meds and adjustments. I feel this new state to be even scarier than the anxiety attacks I was having in Autumn (at least I was feeling better after an attack, for the rest of the day, optimistic and hopeful) because I am in it the whole day, with minor ups and downs. Can I actually feel this way because of the last drop in dosage? If so, why I haven't feel this way when I dropped from 150 to 125? Lately I was thinking that upping the escitalopram dosage from 10 to 20 mg, back in September (I had a rough week right after I returned from holiday, anxiety was through the roof the week before I went up on 20 mg) was a mistake and maybe I just had to push through and stay on 10mg. I have the feeling that I have been overmedicated since then. I actually dropped back to 10mg mid Novemeber (and then switched to zoloft) after I complained several times to my doc that I started to feel a bit weird, mood shifts during the day, like feeling great in the first half and like **** in the afternoon. Also, I am seriously thinking in the last few days to start weaning off the poison, because I started to believe these meds are actually doing more wrong than good (of course, these words may come out just because I feel super off lately) I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks!

Here is my story. As an adolescent and college student, I suffered from anxiety and in particular social anxiety. I finally sought psychiatric treatment in senior year of college (year 2014) as I also started getting major depressive symptoms and was prescribed Zoloft (at 100 mg for 7 years, then tapered to 50 mg for the remaining time I was on it; I did not take any breaks, was always on it during this time; mainly had some sexual side effects, a bit of emotional blunting, but overall really manageable from side effect standpoint, nothing major). It was highly effective at treating the physical feelings of anxiety and healed me mentally as well, slowly improving and lowering social anxiety and my depressive symptoms. In late July of 2023, while on 50mg I decided I was in a good place and found a few of the side effects annoying, and (unfortunately) self-tapered off the 50 mg (50 to 25 to 12.5 over around 6 weeks) by mid-September. As I tapered, I felt no increase in anxiety or depression (and had not been feeling these in a significant way for a long time – in fact I was the happiest I had probably ever been in my whole life, which is what prompted me to think I did not need the Zoloft any more), or any of the symptoms I took it for the in the first place, and experienced minimal ‘discontinuation’ symptoms as well. Then, about 6 weeks after stopping, in mid-November I had several things pop up at the time I did not recognize as relapse/discontinuation, but almost certainly were (GI distress, nausea, constipation) – these were separate ‘episodes’ that occurred, and there was spacing in between them. December 10 is when the true full relapse began: I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy, with chills, got bad night sleep / struggled to get back to sleep, following night at girlfriend’s had panic attack come out of nowhere- chills, shivering, feeling anxious not self, thought I was going to die- walked around and talked it out, died down in 20-30min… but for rest of night felt uneasy, struggled to sleep / got a bad night sleep. Following day woke up feeling full anxiety in chest, shoulders (adrenaline type feeling) and had racing/worrying thoughts, told primary care provider they refilled Zoloft 25 mg. I took the Zoloft 25 mg had a strong reaction (this was ~2.5 months after my last dose of 12.5mg), both positive in sense it did calm me down but with strong side effects (tingling, no libido, strange sensations (I experienced lower libido, but nothing like the strange sensations when on it before)—like an electric shock in lower body mostly, i.e., what I now know to be the ‘kindling’ effect and you can’t argue against this because human beings can’t natural produce electric shock sensations internally even as a manifestation of anxiety), deterring me from wanting to take it again, still got pretty poor sleep that night but not horrible. Did not take Zoloft Wednesday because concerned about side effects, still felt anxious / off and got poor night’s sleep again. I met with primary care thursday, at doctor’s office Thursday had a panic attack that did die down, they referred me to psychiatrist. On Friday took 12.5 mg Zoloft since they said it wouldn’t make a difference either way at that dose and felt more relaxed but again had weird side effects. The next day I started to feel weird, and took 12.5mg to take the edge off (in retrospect, not how Zoloft to be used but I was in an irrational, anxious state), made me feel calmer but still got a bad sleep. Sunday morning felt very off, like panic building so took 25 mg Zoloft initially calmer but panic attack did not stop ended up going to ER, had elevated BP/HR otherwise fine, and gave me low dose of lorazepam, talked it out, calmed down. Also trazodone for sleep, ended up sleeping very well that night for whatever reason. The next day felt a bit weird but also a bit recovered, around noon felt growing depression feeling so took 25mg Zoloft, then that night really struggled to get sleep, next morning also feeling off, had panic attack, ended up calling 911 evaluated in ambulance, just elevated HR and BP, calmed down, flew home that day (took Zoloft 25mg at noon because could feel growing depression feeling again). Had another panic attack and went to the ER one more time (this was last day I took Zoloft 25mg). I then started on my newly found psychiatrist’s (yea… unfortunately did not have one for a while) plan of 0.5mg/night clonazepam and 150mg Wellbutrin (since starting the 0.5mg clonazepam, no true panic attacks have occurred), unfortunately even with taking the Wellbutrin in the morning, I got no sleep that night (got hypnic jerks that kept me awake), told me psychiatrist, he told me to stop and we’d re-evaluate in a few days. Then following two nights no sleep, the psychiatrist kind of gave up on me, so then took a few days to find a new provider. Who started me on 5mg Lexapro (and continue 0.5mg/night clonazepam) – the main side effects were getting no sleep (down from 5-6 hours previous two nights) both nights I tried it and constipation (but other than that nothing bad). I took a break for a day and re-tried in the morning, then was able to get some sleep. Over a 5-week period, I vamped up from 5 to 7.5 to 10mg/morning Lexapro, and tapered down to 0.25mg/night clonazepam (tapered down regardless of impact on sleep because I did not want to become dependent). Since starting the Lexapro, there has been continued improvement in daily functioning, reduction in anxiety (in particular better control over thoughts), mood (continues to improve actually – in many ways getting back to old self despite being sleep deprived); I continue to feel I am approaching ‘normal’ / being myself more. However, there is still something major that is very off: I do not feel exhaustion/tiredness (OR anywhere near as much like **** as I should after a poor night’s sleep, I am also strangely am able to focus better and in a better mood than I’d be under normal circumstances) during the day (or a very limited amount of it), and continue to get poor night’s sleeps (I have not taken a single nap or dosed off at all since December 10… I even took 5mg ambien in the middle of the day (long story) and that failed to make me fall asleep). It is often challenging for me to both fall asleep, and guaranteed I will wake up at least 1-2 times throughout the night (and sometimes during these instances I cannot get back to sleep), and I can never sleep in past 7am. The worst nights are usually 1.5-2.5 hours, the better ones are in the 4.5-6 hour range (I had a streak of 0 hour sleep for 3 nights in a row after going down from .5 to .25mg Klonopin too early, then went back to 0.5mg and made taper more gradual). I have had several nights of 7-8 hour sleeps, but with only a few exceptions these have always been after taking a sleeping drug (and always the 0.25mg Klonopin as well). During the nights, I will sometimes wake up with a faster heartrate, night sweats, urinate frequently, when trying to fall asleep I have experienced minor hypnic jerks (though a lot less bad than the ones after taking the Wellbutrin) – a lot of these have admittedly declined in frequency (and some I think have been in reaction to taking certain sleep meds the night prior, e.g., Mirtazapine), but nonetheless my average amount of sleep has not improved that much, still waking up often and not getting very many hours (interestingly I also pretty much always remember my dreams). For awareness, I have tried Ambien (just 5mg) which did not work at getting me to sleep (did make me extremely drowsy though.. also felt depressed/anxious like 5-6 hours of taking it), Trazodone (25-100mg, it was effective, but started realizing it might be causing tachycardia and made me act weird in the mornings so stopped taking it), Mirtazapine (~4mg, probably the best sleep I’ve had during the whole experience slightly over 8 hours only woke up once, obviously made me extremely drowsy, but the next morning was a zombie, then in the afternoon started experiencing hypersensitivity and getting jolts of anxiety in reaction to things like dogs barking while on a walk), Lunesta (1mg – was effective 6-7 hours helped with falling and staying asleep, but did some GI distress, and felt causing some sort of mini-withdrawal since on the Klonopin / not advisable to take z-drug with benzo), and Hydroxyzine (25-75mg – this has been effective, I think become a bit less effective over time but still helpful, some side effects getting better, notable so want to avoid taking every night); for supplements I take 2mg melatonin, 300mg magnesium, vitamin D3, I try going to bed at consistent time, go on daily 30+ minute walks, employ diaphragmatic breathing, though admittedly have more to learn on sleep hygiene. All of this said, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the following (and I am going to an online forum because I have brought some of this up to supposedly highly qualified Ivy League-trained psychiatrists who won’t really know what to do). (1) Is there any possibility I did not give re-trying Zoloft a proper chance, and getting back on it at some TBD dosage is my only chance to get back to normal? When I took it initially it did feel weird, but all of the effects I’d be willing to put up with if I got back to feeling normally and being able to sleep properly again (even though as I took it later in the week I noticed most decline in intensity). Additionally I took it incorrectly, starting on a Tuesday at 25mg, then taking 12.5mg on Friday, then 12.5mg Saturday, then 25mg for just a few more days before stopping. You may think, why on earth would he get back on that he still had panic attacks on them (and yes, they were potentially worse because I took it, but I took it improperly, which likely completely threw off my brain). In comparison to Lexapro, when I first took it it did not interfere with sleep like Lexapro did (two nights in a row with no sleep, and still after 5 weeks on Lexapro I am getting poor sleep, though some components may be improving). It did have a calming effect, did have a somewhat numbing effect and made me feel better than I should have (given the overtiredness), but still that was early days and towards the end 4th day or so of using that became less the case. a. I read in some cases if you react strongly to the initial dosage that is “kindling” and does not mean the drug will not work, but just you are extra sensitive to it. My brain clearly grew dependent on Zoloft over the 9+ years I was on it and may need the drug to get back to normal. I had not taken it long enough the second time (only 4-5 days) to tell if it could properly reduce anxiety, rebalance my brain so I could sleep properly. When I was having the panic attacks while taking it, it had not been long enough to prevent them (would take weeks…), I was also not eating nearly enough (something I realized during my final ER visit when I horsed down a bunch of mediocre hospital food). b. If I were to switch I am pretty sure I’d need to cross taper with Lexapro, because going to 0 on an SSRI I don’t think would be good for me at this point, in particular combining the withdrawal with the sleep deprivation. It would probably be wise to start with a very low amount of Zoloft (like 1 mg?) to minimize any risk of Serotonin Syndrome. c. While I don’t think they take a nuanced approach, and lack a sophisticated enough understanding of SSRIs, have been advised against this by several doctors. (2) Does it make sense to stick with Lexapro, at least for several more weeks, potentially at a higher dose. I am not concerned about the constipation, but obviously if it makes sleep worse that’s a no go. I have noticed continued improvements shifts to normality while on it just not the desired improvement on sleep. In some ways I am happier on it than I was on Zoloft, but still not the sleep improvement—and sleep is huge foe me. If I were to increase the dose I would start going from 10mg to 12.5mg. My GI system seems to be improving (gets less irritated after meals, getting more of real appetite/feeling hunger) a. The recent psychiatrist I saw recommend I try increasing the dose of Lexapro and see how it goes over the next month. (3) Could it make sense to try an alternative SSRI, such as Prozac or Celexa? The key here would be getting brain back to a state where I could sleep. Or a different antidepressant class, but those are second line and known for even worse side effects. (4) Some may say the Klonopin, especially in the context of tapering, is hurting sleep (which it probably is but I doubt that severely given I have held at .25mg for 3 weeks), and right now I am still suffering from the bad sleep deprivation, have lost 15 pounds – suffering through potential benzo withdrawal might not be something I can handle now. I have no desire to ever take a dose higher than 0.25mg, and eventually 100% want off of it, preferably as soon as possible. (5) In terms of other treatment options for the insomnia, I have not yet tried Seroquel but have reservations given I already have not had the best experiences with Trazodone and Mirtazapine – if I were to try Seroquel maybe like ¼ or ½ the usual starting dose of 25mg… Would rather try one of the alternative treatments, CBD/cannabis if those really do sometimes work. a. I have heard CBT-I, ketamine infusions, psilocybin microdose, CBD, cannabis, maybe be helpful – would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these or other treatments

Hello. New here. I started Lexapro towards the end of June 2023. I was on 2.5 mg for two weeks. 5 for two weeks. 7.5 for two weeks and 10 for 6 weeks before I started tapering off. I tapered off under doctors recs. I didn't know any better. While I was on the drug I had this awful heavy body feeling and muscle tension. Whenever I would go up the next dose I would have hyperreflexia and my joints would just twitch at night while trying to fall asleep. I've been off 3 and a half months. The first 3 weeks I was about getting back to normal. I went and got botox one day, and I don't know if it was the botox or if it would have happened anyway but i fell hard into withdrawl. Oddly on the meds and on my bad days, I notice my joints don't crack like they normally do. It's weird. My blood pressure for three weeks in December was insane. It would go into the high 40s and then shoot up into the 70s. That seems to be stable now. Still dealing with the heavy body feeling. Loss of sensation. Muscle tension and sometimes twitching. I had a few day window last week, where I felt almost 100 percent back to normal. My dry eyes are killing me. Followed by today where I don't have much sensation on my arms or hands. My head feels 200 lbs. And I have extreme muscle tension in the back of my head. Are there even muscles there? How can that even hurt so bad. The cervical spine area seems to be the worst. I went to PT to try and help, but I don't think it did anything. I see people that never recover and I just worry I will hit a wave and never come out.

Hello! I was put on medications during a weeklong hospital stay for major depressive disorder with psychotic features. I've experienced severe withdrawal symptoms, akathisia, insomnia, loss of appetite, body aches, depression 2 different times since the hospitalization. Once because I tried to come off the drugs on my own and the other because I was weaned off of Zyprexa too quickly. Now I'm on escitalopram and aripiprazol. I'm tapering the aripiprazol first and am doing well with that so far. I found out I was pregnant again and am 8 weeks along now. I have some anxiety about being on these medications while pregnant, but I should at least be off the aripiprazol soon if everything goes well. I plan on waiting 2-3 months after my last dose of aripiprazol before tapering the Lexapro. I'm hoping everything will go okay. It's difficult to know what symptoms are withdrawal related and which are pregnancy related. Right now I've got stomach cramps with loose stools every day for the past 2 weeks. Sleep is okay, but I feel so tired. Emotions are a little difficult to handle when they come. Trying to stay calm and positive about all these changes. Thanks!

Hi I was prescribed Paroxetine and Lexapro for over 10 years for my depression and anxiety. Tbh I was prescribed an array of medications by my first doctor who seemed hell bent on throwing them at me like tic tacs. After still having suicidal idealtion, endless crying spells, depression and anxiety another medication was added to the growing list...Zoloft. I had a severe reaction and had to stop it in a day. It traumatised me so much, I didn't resume my Lexapro medication. I went on with my life and for the first month I was fine and didn't really notice the absence of Lexapro in my life. But then I was struck down with anxiety and depression and tried to go back on my 5mg of Lexapro but got an allergic reaction from being off them for a month. I have been put on St. John's Wort and I'm trying to hold on but I'm losing all hope as I see my life collapse before my eyes. I'm physically getting worse and feel so physically weak and nauseated. I have brain zaps and tingles. I can't eat or exercise and feel that my life is over. It's absolutely terrifying. I fear becoming homeless because I need a job and money for essentials. I miss the person I used to be and never felt so alone in my life. There's no one that seems to understand and no support network in Australia. I know I didn't taper slowly enough and it would of been wise to do it slower. But unfortunately I tried to restart using Lexapro and had severe allergic reactions. We also don't have it in liquid form in Australia for a 10 percent tapering reduction. I now live all alone with no partner or support network. I'm 49 years old and feel that my life is over. Living with no hope, physical and mental symptoms, suicidal idealation, loneliness and despair coupled with financial stress makes me feel as though I just can't make it through this. I'm starting to lose all hope.

In May 2023 i stopped taking 5mg Cipralex (which is the uk brand name of Lexapro). I was taking it for 3 months. Here i am, 8 months on having experienced so many withdrawal symptoms. The first few months consisted of panic upon wakening in the morning, burning brain and heightened anxiety. These have all resolved. Most concerning to me, which started in the first few weeks of stopping was my sex drive just turned off. I woke up one morning and it was gone. That part of my body felt disconnected from the rest of me. Over time i am seeing improvements in this area. I am getting windows of being interested in sex where i am getting aroused. At the beginning it was only aroused when touched but i’m noticing i’m getting aroused by simply looking at my partner. But then a wave hits and i’m right back to feeling completely detached from that part of my body again. During a wave i also feel detached from the world. I believe depersonalisation and anhedonia are the terms to sum up how i feel. Its not nice. I understand these symptoms would be classed as PSSD. Ive read some not so pleasant things about this condition which scares me and i find the very fear of it makes it worse and takes me off any track of recovery. I’m in a wave right now, which has probably driven me to write this post. I am constantly thinking if i should reinstate a low dose of the drug as i’m mainly in a wave and finding it so difficult. I have the liquid version so could easily get the low dose (0.5mg). I tried 1mg 5 months ago, panicked, and stopped. But looking back at that day, i went for a walk, i had lots of conversation, colours seemed brighter somehow and i felt like i was coming back to the person i knew. It wasnt all perfect, i felt dizzy, my sleel that night was broken but looking back it was the panic that stopped me from continuing. I wonder if anyone can help me in this decision? To reinstate at 0.5mg or to continue this journey? In summary, i’m 8 months on from a cold turkey stop, my symptoms are brain fog, fatigue, symptoms of post ssri sexual dysfunction, but they do seem to lessen at times. I’m just finding this journey so hard and its getting me very low. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and i wish you all the best in your journeys.

Short Story After 6 months of being on 3 SSRIs and 1 SNRI, tapered from Pristiq for 1 week by cutting 50 mg pill in half. After being stuck in hypomanic like anxiety state for 6 months since i got off, seeking help on next move - small dosage reinstatement, go along with bispurone suggestion from doc, or other? I recognize reinstatement after such long time is contentious. Current Symptoms Anxiety (maybe hypomanic?), switching from distractibility to hyperfocus, brainfog, difficulty organizing thoughts, planning, lack of drive, motivation and sex drive. In the 6 months since i am off meds I had under a 7 days (total) where i felt present, calm, w/ reset nervous system - after a rare moment i was tired enough to nap. The rest of the time I was in an agitated, restlessness nervous state with distorted perception of time (highly accelerated). The higher stress, excitement, or other trigger like intense work session, the stronger the symptoms, which without significant rest, can lead to greater distress and extreme brain fog. Long Story I'm in my early 40s. My depression flared up after end of a long-term relationship. Pandemic isolation happened shortly after. The immense stressors during this period caused bad anxiety. I asked for anxiety meds but scored high for depression so I agreed to anti-depressants. Cycled through celexa, lexapro, zoloft and ending with pristiq; all helped anxiety with mixed sideffects, such as removed drive and motivation, which specifically remained after the meds. My pristiq taper - was told to half my 50 mg dose for a week and get off. I was not dissuaded from my suggestion of cutting my 50mg pill in half - i now know that was bad. In weeks and months since (total 6 months now), I am unable to sustain cognitive performance w/o causing aroused state from which i find almost impossible to return from. In fact a lot symptoms and triggers to a varying degree, except for the risky behavior, look like hypomania. It started during the weeks after taper, with a hyper arousal, over-productive brain. I never experienced something like that before and no bipolar history in me and family. Psychiatrist's response is that its likely anxiety. Strange, as I never got so anxious I could not calm down before from stimuli of social night out with friends, working with a coworker, from an angry conversation, or even intense workout session. In the early months of withdrawal, any sort of excitement/stress lead to insomnia, short term memory loss, or even disorientation in navigation (new to me) and I'm frightened to see time and my life passing so fast. I'm unable to perform at any decent rate at work (work as engineer) so much I'm considering quitting or taking sabbatical if they'd allow me. I seem to have lost whatever drive i still had left before i got on the drugs. Sleep stabilized in last 2 months. Most recently once or twice, I reached tired state and got a nap (common in the before-times). This caused me to finally leave my 'hypomania'/hightened anxiety state, felt present, 'reset' back to normal and thought creatively, calmly for rest of day. Since i left the drugs 6 months ago though, I didn't experience more than 5-6 (individual) days like that. Question I don't know if this is hypomania or just a level of anxiety i haven't experienced or heard of before. I read that although people may get hypomania when getting on these drugs or upping the dosage, in rarer cases its possible to get it when stopping. Given the slow rate of improvement, distress, mental performance at work, and inability to consistently get off feeling anxious state or slow down perception of time (despite doing supplementation, meditation, regular exercise), I'm debating either to go on anti-anxiety med like bispurone psychiatrist suggested, or try small dosage reinstatement to abate some symptoms. Highly appreciate any suggestions, comments. Thank you

The only way in the end that I could come off venlafaxine was to go on another drug. It has never occurred to me that I am experiencing, nearly a year later could be withdrawal. I assumed this was taken care of by the new drug. However my anxiety has never recovered and is very bad, even on escetalapram. Do I up the dose, try another drug, or is what I'm feeling a reaction to withdrawing from venlafaxine? I am wanting to taper off escetalaprin but feel very nervous as my experience with wd from venlafaxine was quite simply unbearable.

Hi, My name is Kai. I was prescribed three meds in the first day. Those were Abilify, Agotine, and Topiramate. I took them instantly after the meeting with psychiatrist. I was very stressed. I felt not understood. But that wasn't the problem. The problem occured when I took the second dose after few hours. I started feeling a strange amount of satisfaction. It was night, and I felt as if I was in a kind of a transitional state. I remember feeling almost supernatural. There was a different day, which I guess I did almost the same thing after meeting the psychiatrist. I remember it was a day, and the dose might have been changed. Also there might have been added the new pill, Risperidone. I felt great agitation. I could not stop moving. I saw hallucination. I felt my world was melting down. My world was never the same after that. Honestly, I don't remember if those two were the same day or not. And many other things occured in the other days, but those were what happened when I was struck by meds instantly. The other days, I felt also very unreal. I felt my world was changing into something else. Since it was the first time I was using the antipsychotics, I thought this was what it was supposed to be doing. Later, I started losing my musical abilities. It happened gradually. One day suddenly, I simply wasn't able to play anymore. I still cannot play to this day. Before, I was great at many instruments. I was a musician by heart, feeling arts all throughout the world, loving the poetry and literature, and so on. I also loved movies, but those all disappeared. I was somewhere apart from the world I used to be in before. There was no 'me' anymore. No more interest, feelings, thoughts, memories. But I was still able to enjoy movies to some extent until I became bedridden. Being bedridden was when I was completely done in my life. At least that is what I felt. But while I was being bedridden, I slowly recovered in a strange way. It took a long time, and the recovery didn't show any promise of my previous self, I started to feel some normal feelings again, which was not really pleasing to me. I don't know if it was because I was being bedridden, relying on to my family, losing my independence and hope, but the reality felt much worse and resembled that feeling of unfortunate childhood that I've been through. I felt totally immature. I am very sorry my writing doesn't articulate anything good. I have tried to write this introduction since the beginning of this year, but it took so long to even be able to write something that doesn't look terrible. So since I know you, which are great people who chose to help, would kindly write replies to this pitiful writing, and if you do so and ask me for more specifics, I will try my best to tell more about my symptoms and situations. It also takes very long time for me to remember something, including what I ate for breakfast. Thank you.

>I'm mexican, living in Mexico. In my 20s. >Severe OCD >One day, depression appears suddenly. Now, severe OCD and strong (but not severe) depression. >2020 i'm given Sertraline 50mg by a Neurologist. Did not had any type of therapy, was sent directly to taking drugs. >2021 Change to Escitalopram 10 mg >Escitalopram 2021 10mg >Had a session of TMS, offered as a trial by a Neurologist. >Escitalopram 2022 10 mg >Escitalopram January 2023 25% reduction each week >February 2023 stop taking Escitalopram >May 2023 Escitalopram for 2 weeks, varying doses from 2.5mg to 10mg, then stopped again. >October 2023 took 2.5mg for one week Important notes - During 2022 and 2023 I went to several psychologists for help (In México) with my OCD and Depression. I consider they didn't help much. Tried CBT. Currently: - I'm no longer having difficulty with OCD (as far as I know). After reading several books about the topic, I kind of started getting better, and without SSRIs. - I consider i'm no longer depressed. However i'm mostly in a bad mood, until I force myself to socialize and do fun things. It kind of depends on chemicals in my brain. - I'm having strong difficulty socializing. I sometimes feel like i'm about to break down, when having a simple conversation. Eye contact, depending on my mood, becomes very hard. I'm seriously considering taking 1-2 mg of Escitalopram to help with this. What are your thoughts? When I took 2.5mg just for a week, It did helped.

Hello, I would like to introduce myself. I need a lot of help and advice on my situation as it's somewhat complicated. I was on Cipralex for 4.5 years. It stopped working as well and I was extremely emotionally blunted so I went to a psychiatrist for help. He increased my 10 mg dose to 15 mg's. I immediately developed severe suicidal thoughts and what I now know is akathisia. I lowered the dose down to 10 again until I saw a new psychiatrist. He increased my dose to 20 mg's of Cipralex in a week. All hell broke even more loose. I believe I developed some serotonin syndrome and lowered my dose to 15 in one week and back to 10 another week. I decided after this hell that I wanted to taper off as quickly as possible. Obviously I didn't know then what I know now. I jumped off 5 mg's of Cipralex and cross tapered to 15 mg's of Mirtazapine as I had lost 25 pounds in a month and had severe akathisia. I stopped the Mirtazapine after 5 days as it was a terrifying experience. I remained medication free until after 4 weeks the akathisia creeped back in. I went back on Mirtazapine at 7.5 mg's and almost unalived myself twice. I entered inpatient care at that point and lowered my Mirtazapine to 3.75 mg's. They put me on Pregabalin(Lyrica) which I'm now off as of November 2023. I should also add I took Ativan intermittently from May-October so I was often confused on what role that played in my akathisia. I had a big 2-week window recently but I'm now in a vicious wave. I want off the Mirtazapine because I feel it's been causing my anhedonia and DP/DR. My question is should I start tapering Mirtazapine? I still have akathisia and it's not helping with anything other than increased appetite at times. Any advice is appreciated.

Hello , I have come across your website/forum today and have been reading all sorts of posts over the last few hours. I thought Id introduce myself and share my story , will be really grateful to get some opinions. My story begins in 2016(24 y.o at the time) when I started suffering from chronic non vertigonous dizziness. After around 2 years, and countless doctor visits and investigations, the diagnosis made was PPPD and I was put on SSRIs as it was one of the recommended drugs for managing the condition. In retrospect I realise now that at the time, I was getting into a depressive episode/low mood secondary to the ongoing and seemingly incurable dizziness that I found myself struggling with at the time , an element of health anxiety probably made my symptoms worse (the low mood and the dizziness). I started taking Escitalopram around July 2018 , the dose was up titrated from 5mg slowly up to 20mg over the year. My dizziness was 90% improved and I felt great , but I also suffered from some side effects such as weight gain , fatigue , blunting of emotions , loss of libido. I successfuly tapered down 10mg over the next year and have tried to go down to 5mg once or twice but failed ( cant remember details of what made me stop at the time). In early 2023 I succesfully tapered down to 5mg and finally in August 2023 I dropped down to 2.5mg and then tapered down to 0mg over 4 weeks. Knowing what I know now I should have taken a lot more time doing that. My main concern stopping the drug was having the dizziness back and the whole PPPD condition resurfacing. However , I always wanted to stop taking SSRIs and was waiting for the right moment. I wanted to get rid of the side effects. I was hopeful and the timing felt right as life was going great. The first 4 weeks sure enough the dizziness came back , but I pushed through and it actually subsided within 6 weeks. I was happy and content that my dizziness condition seemed to be under control. Otherwise I had no acute withdrawal symptoms at all , no brain zaps , no headaches. I thought that was it and that Ive succesfully tapered off Escitalopram. At around the 10 week mark I suddenly found myself in a dark and negative emotional space and felt generaly and anxious. I would wake up early morning feeling stressed and anxious with seemingly no reason at all. Id find myself ruminating and thinking about old life events and become emotional over them, I would cry or become tearful over the most random thing I see or memory I think of. It felt like my emotions were all over the place. Old memories were resurfacing and it would feel like I am processing them for the very first time. This was entirely new and never have I ever experienced any similar emotional states. I have always been calm and level headed. I did not know what to think of it, I just knew I had to push through. Currently at around 17 weeks of 0mg. The emotional state I decsribed above is no longer the main problem , in fact it has significantly improved. However I am still struggling with early morning stress and anxiety , low mood and negative outlook on life, hopelessness, ruminating and catastrophising thoughts and made up scenarios in my head, constant low energy , want to sleep all the time. I was going mad trying to find a reason of why all of this was happening. Why am I suddenly going through what feels like a depressive episode. I did not know about protracted withdrawals. Finding this forum was like a revelation. It all clicks now. Is it worth reinstating now ? Would that be a good idea ? I would love to push through but I dont know if I have the strength to. Would appreciate hearing your thoughts and experiences.

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and am glad to have found it. Twelve years ago when I was 14 years old I was put onto Cipralex 20 mg once a day. I have been on that medication since until last month when I officially tapered off and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin XL 150 mg once a day. It has not been until recently that I’ve read about lasting permanent effects on personality, mood, and behaviour from being on antidepressants for so long. Especially for someone such as myself who was on it from 14 years old to 26 years old while my brain was developing. I am beyond concerned with what this may have done to me and feel helpless and unsure of what to do or where to go from here. I’m not even sure where to begin to look on this site. I have felt “monotone,” blank and emotionless for the past probably 4-5 years, which was one of the reasons I wanted to discontinue Cipralex. It’s like I can no longer feel any range of emotion. I cannot remember the last time I felt genuinely happy or genuinely sad. I used to be so energetic, bubbly, outgoing, and silly, I could light up a room and now it’s like that part of myself is gone—extinguished or muffled. I can feel nothing other than “flat” every single day. There are no ups or downs, so it’s not just anhedonia but I can’t feel sadness or anger either. I believe this is sometimes called emotional blunting? I’m wondering if this will ever go away and if I will ever feel like I did when I was 14-18 again. This emotional numbness feels like a death sentence. When I research online it says emotional blunting should be reversed once off of SSRIs but I am concerned maybe that will not be the case for me seeing as though I was on the medication for 10+ years and during critical brain development. I guess I can feel some sadness because thinking about being emotionally blunted forever makes me want to cry. I long to feel strongly about anything again. I would love to hear other’s stories about coming off of Cipralex/Lexapro/Escitalopram after 10+ years during peak developmental brain years and their experiences with managing this emotional numbness and if any sense of normalcy ever returned to them. Ideally I would like to eventually come off of Wellbutrin too. After being on Cipralex for so long and experiencing the side effects I had while on it, I’m concerned about being on any antidepressants now.