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Greetings to all. First of all to say that I use google translate. I have been taking Paxil for about 20 years and now I have decided to reduce it with 10% method. I tried twice before not knowing about this method but without success.I started reducing drugs a year ago and am now at 11.2 mg.About a month ago I started to feel bad.During the day I mostly had to lie down and in the evening the condition would be better.After 14 days the changing periods started, two days I was better then one bad and then one better and again one bad.My sleep got worse.I managed to get to work although very hard.During the reduction I waited another two weeks extra so the reduction was even slower.Now after almost 4 weeks I am in a dilemma whether to wait and try to stabilize or to return the dose a bit and then wait.As I say sometimes I'm bad sometimes better and I don't know if it's windows and waves.Tinnitus, bad thoughts about yourself, poor sleep, fear, weak stomach with diarrhea, anxiety are some of the symptoms.

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Hi all! So happy to have found this place! I’ve browsed a few posts, and I think I’ve found my people lol! About me- I’m 51 years old, and have been on and off a bunch of psychiatric meds since the 90s. My memory is poor (more on that later), so I can’t remember exact dates, but I have been on Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin and Escitalopram, along with occasional benzos and zopiclone for short periods. Honestly- i wish I had never started taking any of them. Hindsight and a really good therapist has made me realize that many of my choices in life have just not been very congruent with my wants/needs/values etc, leading to some serious cognitive dissonance. I have also experienced severe professional burnout many times, and have some childhood trauma that I had never dealt with. Had I found a good therapist in my 20s, I may have never started taking these drugs. BUT- I am generally a pretty optimistic person, so I am looking forward, and feeling so grateful to have been able to improve my knowledge on withdrawal, so I can do it right this time. I have never tapered slowly. I have always followed my doctors’ advice, and my slowest taper was off of Effexor, and that only took two months. I had little difficulty coming off Wellbutrin, but all the others were awful- restlessness, irritability, brain zaps, bouts of severe depression, tremors, insomnia, extreme sensitivity to light and noise. I most recently started taking 10mg of escitalopram in 2016. I had changed jobs, and was having crippling anxiety about my new role. I didn’t want to start taking it- i had been off of it since before my daughter was born in 2009. But being in a new job, I felt I had to show my employer that I was willing to do anything to get back to work asap. So I started taking it, and took four months off to pull myself together, so to speak. Fast forward to 2020- still on my 10mg of escitalopram. Didn’t want to be, but couldn’t face weaning, and all the withdrawal symptoms. Then the pandemic hit. I work in healthcare, so needless to say, this was a scary time for me. Anxiety peaked, and my doctor increased my dose to 20mg. It didn’t help at all. My anxiety remained high for the next two years… I was just surviving. I was so anxious and burned out, I barely remember anything from that time period. It’s like a bad dream. i finally contracted COVID in June 2022. I was not hospitalized, but was very ill for four weeks. When I finally managed to go back to work, I couldn’t function. Went off on sick leave, and was eventually diagnosed with long COVID. My symptoms have included crippling fatigue, severe right sided headaches, chest pain/pressure, palpitations, severe brain fog, memory issues, internal ‘vibrations’ (for lack of a better term), cyanosis when my heart rate goes over 125 and presyncope. I haven’t worked since August 2022. Over the last two years, I have learned to manage my symptoms fairly well with diet, hydration, additional salt, compression stockings, meditation and my awesome therapist. I started to taper my escitalopram last November, with fairly large dosage cuts… it occurred to me that I’ve done this before, and always ended up right back on the meds. So I started researching how to properly taper, and realized that everything I had done in the past was misguided, and likely caused some long term health issues. So I’ve decided to slow my taper waaaay down, hoping to get off of these drugs for good! Feeling very optimistic! 😁 I am also taking low dose naltrexone 2.5mg for long COVID, estrogel for hot flashes, vitamin D 2000iu/day, B12 1000mcg per day (I’m vegan- no choice on this one!). i think that’s it- in a nutshell… I’ve had more than my share of legit emotional turmoil too, but it’s all just too much to share here. I will say that I’m in a really great emotional place right now, so I feel the time is right to do a proper taper. I look forward to sharing my journey here! 😊

Diagnosed with panic and adjustment disorder 1987. Experienced 3 situational depressions (1 was postpartum). SSRI for 30 yrs. Just RI Lexapro to 5 mg after a failed 4 day discontinuation from 2.5 mg. Seems to be helping in waves and windows. Dr appointment next month but he has told me that if I stop Lexapro, protracted w/d possible with treatment resistant depression surfacing. Advises that I should consider staying on for life. I am afraid of both staying on and discontinuing. I've read about severe, untreatable akathisia, protracted w/d and all other horror stories. I am worried that one or two months out from discontinuing, symptoms will return that can't be treated. 1. Will a gradual slow microtaper from 5 mg. (after stabilization) prevent a protracted w/d? 2. What if I experience another situational depression, how to treat it then? 3. What are risks of staying on a low dose SSRI 2.5 or under? 4. Is that better than risking protracted and untreatable w/d? Last situational depression 8 yrs ago, Dr switched SSRIs and now I realize what I went through was was w/d on top of the depression. Had to rely on Lorazepam for 3 months and did a gradual successful taper off. I believe I was very fortunate given the horrific Benzo stories.I cannot fathom relying on Benzos again and would rather stay on Lexapro low dose than risk benzo dependence. I would appreciate thoughts on the above. Thank you!

Hi, I’ve taken zoloft 50mg 14 years non-stop. Later years felt numbed, disinterest, vision problems, inner shakes, burning weird headache etc. First doctor wanted to increase dose but I felt so bad we stopped it. Later on decreased dose with 12,5mg. In few days had symptoms and got advised to go back to 50mg - adverse effect and became worse. Muscle twitching, heart palpitations, aggression, intensive suicide thoughts, burning in head felt like electricity. Went to clinic first time. They said stress. Then another doctor said it could be serotonin syndrome or akathisia. Months went by with severe side effects. Difficult position having side effects from taken zoloft but also from reducing it. Went into clinic to get help to reduce. 25mg cut ”your on observation”. The fifth day I didnt get anything and said - Stop, you cannot do this in five days!!? 50mg to zero 😕. I left. Was told by doctor ”you can't go back now because then you'll get really sick”. Its 10 weeks since cut from 50 to 25. At first felt ”ok” but third week came most of the hard WD. Mostly in bed for weeks: weekness, extreme fatigue, cognitive memory, difficulties to walk, palpitations, buzzing electric sensations with headache, pain in body neck shoulders, blurred weird vision diziness disoriented. Few times also feeling little more presence than zombie-feeling. But it feels like senses are overwhelmed to take in impressions. Been taking Zoloft for so long I don’t know how it is without. Think Im breaking down Zoloft slowly and sensitive but haven’t checked it out. Right now my worst WD is severe headache in different places, pressure in head, eyes down my neck and in general feel week and lost. Some days been unbearable. Brainfog, cognitive (to write this). No energy, electric buzzing head, achy, stiffness, feeling behind and sensitive to noise and light. Tried few walks but body mostly says No. I know it's a too big reduction but was hoping. Had severe side effects and heard that the last 25mg is the hardest, would do it very slowly. Worried that maybe WD will be delayed and could be worse... Is it common for Zoloft (short half-life)? Thinking about long time effects and if I made a to big cut for the system. Also worried how tough 25mg reducing is for my heart, female 50 year. Could it be dangerous? Its 10 weeks since cut, is it even possible to reinstate and how small amount? I dont know…trying to hold on, wait, and just feels good to be here…

Hi i weaned myself off Zoloft after 12 years and started getting symptoms so tried to get back on with terrible consequences - panic attacks, burning skin, burning brain and depression. My doctor kept upping the dose and things got worse and worse. She then changed me to Lexapro and that was as bad and she increased me again. She then introduced Mirtazapine. I went up to 30mg Mirtazapine and lowered Lexapro from 15mg to 7.5mg. my symptoms are still terrible. I know it’s not good to substitute for another medicine but I heard lamotrigine can help with withdrawal. Do you have experience with this and would it help me? Thanks

Hello, I am here because I am looking for more information on Invega, and I am thinking about the future; of when I may have to come off Invega completely. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia about 12 years ago. I have been on Invega Sustenna for abour 3-4 years now. Maybe longer. I was previously on Zyprexa, Abilify, Geodon, Prolixin, and Haldol. Within the 3-4 years I was on Sustenna, I switched to Trinza ~819 mg, and things were okay, but then I decided to try Cogentin to treat the side effects. I found Cogentin to be helpful, somewhat. Things were going well, so I asked my doctor to reduce my Trinza, and they did. With that, I increased the dosage of Cogentin from 1 mg to 3 mg's once in the morning because I felt the most relief then. That was when I started to hallucinate. I made a call to the crisis hotline one night, and I ended up in the emergency room. It was not a good ordeal. I was delusional the entire time and a security guard threatened to break my arm, along with some other disturbing experiences. I got out about a week later, after they added 9 mg of Paliperidone ER. I was still delusional. I was delusional the entire stay at the emergency room and the inpatient unit. My outpatient doctor believed I needed the extra 9 mg's so I stayed on it. I experienced severe akathisia. The Cogentin was not enough. So, I continued to take 3 mg of Cogentin in the AM, and experimented with higher dosages, up to 4 mg in the AM and 2 mg at noon. I was hallucinating and delusional. Also, my Trinza was increased to the ~819 mg dosage. Nothing helped my delusions and hallucinations. I don't know what caused the hallucinations and delusions, but my doctors think it had to do with the dosage decrease. I think it had to do with the experimenting with Cogentin. They say Cogentin doesn't cause hallucinations. I read online reports that say otherwise, so I don't know what to believe. Today, am tapering off the Cogentin. I am down to 1 mg a day in the AM. I successfully tapered off the 9 mg of Paliperidone ER and I am at the 234 mg dose, because the Trinza wasn't doing the job, so my doctor decided to try Sustenna again. I have been on the 234 mg dose for 5-6 months. One problem though, I get delusional and hallucinate one week before my injection is due. That is what I would like to find out about. Is my injection not lasting long enough? Or is this a problem with antipsychotics and they eventually lose efficacy? As far as treating my akathisia goes, I have found success with L-Theanine. I take 200 mg in the AM, but it gives me the runs, so I may reduce the dosage. L-Theanine has been a huge blessing though. It has helped with the anhedonia, but I don't think it does much for the tremors because I still experience them from time to time. For the tremors, I take magnesium glycinate. 300 mg in the AM and 100 mg at noon. I have seen people say that L-Theanine was not helpful to them at all, so please, be cautious when taking L-Theanine. Try a low dose at first, if you are considering it. That is what I did. I found it helpful, but not helpful enough. tl;dr: I am experiencing relapse symptoms a week before my injection is due. Is my injection not lasting long enough? Or is this a problem with antipsychotics and they eventually lose efficacy?

Hi, everyone! I was taking 60mg Cymbalta for 13 years. I stared on 2011 and on 2013 I was experincing tiredness and sleepiness and was needing constant naps in order to be able to function. I also developed visual snow. -2015 to 2022: I started to gain a lot of weight and was having extreme water retention. At some point, I was at 93 kilos. Nothing I did was helping with the weight. The fatigue and daytime sleepiness persisted. All my tests were normal. I started to feel like the medication had something to do with it so I decided to cut the dose from 60mgs to 30mgs and it was fairly easy. I was able to lose some weight after this reduction and some of my tiredness and daytime sleepiness went away but not completely. A few months later I decided to go from 30mgs to 15mgs over 40 days. I experienced some withdrawal symptoms and a lot of general destabilization on several systems (hormonal and immune), but was able to get over them and stabilize over a 6 month period. I was definitely not the same, but the symptoms were manageable. However, I did start to experience insomnia, so I was occasionally taking Zopiclone to help with that. 2023-2024: I decided to go from 15mg to 0 over 30 days. Initially, I experienced some lightheadedness, irritability, lack of sleep and general overwhelm. After 2 weeks, my sleep started to get worse and I was getting panic attacks here and there. I was waking up out of nowhere at 3 a.m. with extreme irritability. I started taking zopiclone again and that helped. After a couple of weeks, I decided to stop the zopiclone completely. I continued to wake up at 12 and 3 am with some discomfort and any minor sound would wake me up. Some nights I was able to fall back at sleep, while other nights I was unable to do so. I had to quit my job, as I was not tolerating stress at all and felt like I was burning out. 3 months go by and I continue to have the same sleep issues. There were times where I seemed to be stable, but then I would have a reoccurrence of symptoms. I also started to feel tingling and burning sensations on my left hand and foot, and I was also having some speech and memory issues. I was still feeling irritable and having panic attacks here and there. At this point, I was not attributing any of this to the medication since I was med free for 3 months and there was no way this could be withdrawal. I was also fairly energetic (the daytime sleepiness and tiredness went completely away after stopping the medication and I also lost all of the overweight). I wasn’t feeling depressed at all. Just a bit anxious. Then, suddenly, I started to feel really bad and could feel my heart skipping beats here and there. I started to feel extremely anxious and after one night of not being able to sleep, I started to experience panic attacks 24/7. I was having excessive rumination and looping thoughts. I also started to have demonic nightmares and Intrusive thoughts. I was constantly bombarded with adrenaline, my hair was falling out (still is)…. I couldn’t drive or leave the house anymore and I continued to wake up at 12 and 3 a.m. but with extreme panic and a racing heart and what felt like a cortisol discharge/rush. I felt this sensation on my upper abdomen, chest and back. Every new symptom was making everything worse, I was extremely agitated. The burning sensation on my left side became permanent and more intense and trying to relax was impossible. If I was trying to relax and started to fall asleep, a shock like sensation accompanied by a light in my mind’s eye would immediately wake me up with panic. The visual phenomena got so much worse. Sleeping became pretty much impossible and if I ever did sleep I felt like my body was asleep but my mind was completely awake ruminating. Appetite was also completely gone at this point. I was able to endure this for a month and then I just couldn’t do it anymore, I was progressively getting worse…. I started to get suicidal because living like this was simply impossible. I booked an appointment with a psychiatrist, and he said this was because I was having a reoccurrence of "my condition" due to stopping the medication. I told him I never experienced something like this in my life before and he said that it probably had to with the fact that I’m older now (I’m 36). I didn’t believe this, but I was so desperate that I accepted new medication as I didn't want to take Cymbalta ever again. He prescribed 10 mg of Lexapro: I felt immediate relief for some symptoms (they dimineshed in intensity), but it took 3 to 4 weeks to fully feel close to normal again. He also prescriped Klonopin, but I have only taken this when absolutely necessary in a super low dose since I don't need a new medication to withdrawal from. It's been 2 months and a half now and, after doing my research, I’m now understanding that I’m dealing with protracted withdrawal. Wish I knew all of this info sooner! While most of the symptoms are gone, some have stayed: I still wake up one or multiple times at night with this weird feeling on my chest, but it is definitely more tolerable now. I get an intrusive thought and nightmares here and there and the burning sensations are still present but way milder. Somedays, I can’t feel them at all, but for the most part, they are still present. I’ve noticed the symptoms get worse around ovulation and continue to be intense for a week or 2 until I get my period. Part of me wants to stay on this medication since I don’t ever want to live in a horror movie again and I'm stable overall, but, unfortunately, the daytime sleepiness and tiredness I used to get from Cymbalta are back. I’m now also realizing that I had other symptoms that were caused by the medication that I never attributed to it, like heart palpitations after eating, head and back pain, and exercise and heat intolerance. I didn’t have any of these while I was off the medication, but have now returned since taking Lexapro. Unfortunately, I can’t live this way either. It is very hard to be productive when you are feeling sleepy and tired throughout the day and this is where I’m at right now. I'm planning on starting a hyperbolic taper. Of course, I'm scared to live that hell again, but I also can't live feeling sleepy and tired most of the time. What are your thoughts? Thank you all in advance!

I've been on depression and anxiety medication for 20 years. I know I need to get off them. I currently take Effexor XR 150mg and Klonopin 1.5mg daily. I have tried to wean off before with no luck as I started to fear everything in life and started to have panic attacks so I went back to original dose of Effexor two months ago. I recently told my Dr. I wanted to try again and wean off the Effexor first and she prescribed me 37.5mg tablets that are immediate release. I don't know how to divvy these up throughout the day as I am use to the extended release capsule once a day. I was thinking I would take two tablets (75mg) when I wake up, then take 37.5 tablet 4-6 hours later and then 18.75mg 4-6 after that for my first month of tapering. I am lookin for thoughts and suggestions.

Hi I was prescribed Paroxetine and Lexapro for over 10 years for my depression and anxiety. Tbh I was prescribed an array of medications by my first doctor who seemed hell bent on throwing them at me like tic tacs. After still having suicidal idealtion, endless crying spells, depression and anxiety another medication was added to the growing list...Zoloft. I had a severe reaction and had to stop it in a day. It traumatised me so much, I didn't resume my Lexapro medication. I went on with my life and for the first month I was fine and didn't really notice the absence of Lexapro in my life. But then I was struck down with anxiety and depression and tried to go back on my 5mg of Lexapro but got an allergic reaction from being off them for a month. I have been put on St. John's Wort and I'm trying to hold on but I'm losing all hope as I see my life collapse before my eyes. I'm physically getting worse and feel so physically weak and nauseated. I have brain zaps and tingles. I can't eat or exercise and feel that my life is over. It's absolutely terrifying. I fear becoming homeless because I need a job and money for essentials. I miss the person I used to be and never felt so alone in my life. There's no one that seems to understand and no support network in Australia. I know I didn't taper slowly enough and it would of been wise to do it slower. But unfortunately I tried to restart using Lexapro and had severe allergic reactions. We also don't have it in liquid form in Australia for a 10 percent tapering reduction. I now live all alone with no partner or support network. I'm 49 years old and feel that my life is over. Living with no hope, physical and mental symptoms, suicidal idealation, loneliness and despair coupled with financial stress makes me feel as though I just can't make it through this. I'm starting to lose all hope.

I began my time on meds when I had Postpartum depression in 2009. I was prescribed Escitalopram 20 mg and also was given Clonazepam for anxiety and sleep. I took 2 mg doses. I didn’t know benzos were dangerous so continued to take them pretty regularly for the next 14 years, along with the AD. I finally went into tolerance withdrawal in May of 2023 and had insomnia and anxiety. In July I did a rapid taper and was off the benzo in August. I was also switched from Escitalopram to Sertraline 100 mg, then given more meds to try to help the insomnia-Mirtazapine, Quetiapine, and Trazodone. Nothing really worked. I also took Gabapentin for anxiety. I was taken off all these meds and switched to a combination of Zyprexa and Prozac in October 2023. The Zyprexa has helped with sleep, but I am now tapering it since it’s not a good med to be on long term. Currently at 7 mg. My doctor switched me from Prozac to Trintellix, telling me I could stop the Prozac abruptly and start the new med. My question is, can Prozac safely be stopped abruptly and a new med started? I’m very discouraged and don’t know where to turn. I want to be off all meds as they are not helping. I actually think that the polydrugging plus benzo withdrawal has increased my depression and anxiety.

I am a stay at home mom of two young boys. I am so scared that I am stuck like this. After reading here, I believe what I am experiencing is kindling? Upon waking I feel a “surge” of electricity going through my body. This happens every single morning without fail. I have 24/7 SEVERE anxiety and panic symptoms both mentally and physically. Internal tremors, obsessive thoughts, can’t even watch a tv show without obsessing over how I am feeling. Sweaty palms and feet, heart racing. And then on top of all of this 24/7 I get rolling panic attacks that last various amounts of time. I do not get a break from it. No good days. Maybe once a week I can’t handle it any more and I will take klonopin but I am so scared of benzos so I try very hard not to. I cannot under any circumstances endure this for multiple years. My family is talking about me going inpatient somewhere and I seriously can’t stand the thought of leaving my babies. I have never even spent one night away from them. Please please someone tell me how I can get back to functioning again. Should I reinstate a small amount of pristiq? Thank you. not sure exactly how to add my signature but for now here is a brief history- 2006-2017 celexa10mg and lexapro20mg (self tapered on and off multiple times but can’t recall how often) 20 2017 tapered myself off of lexapro with no problems when I decided to get pregnant. 2018 postpartum was severe. Put me on Zoloft & Hydroxyzine. This saved me. 2022 tried to wean myself but couldn’t get off of zoloft 2023 psychiatrist put me on Wellbutrin to wean me from zoloft may2023 fully weaned off of Zoloft september 2023 was using Hydroxyzine often so I felt like I needed to go back to Zoloft. Reinstated 100mg Zoloft and it was HELL. Extreme panic and anxiety. Electricity. Not sleeping well, vomiting, diarrhea. endured for 5 days before psychiatrist told me to stop taking it and gave me klonapin (and I weaned by nursing toddler) because I was in such bad shape. after a few days and Zoloft out of my system I was “okay”. October 2023- lexapro- psychiatrist tried lexapro since I was previously on it. Had same side effects and advised I stopped taking after a few days. November 2023-pristiq- I took the genesight test and pristiq was the only “green” medication. I took 25mg pristiq alongside Propranolol 2x/day and 50mg Hydroxyzine at night. Klonopin for emergencies. I took it for 3 weeks and slowly ended up with the same side effects as the others. Diarrhea, vomiting, clenching jaw, EXTREME panic and anxiety etc. stopped after 3 weeks. 12/9 - current-no SSRI or SNRI. Taking propranolol 2x/day, 50mg Hydroxyzine sometimes at night and klonapin when I can no longer endure another day like this. It feels like it is getting way worse and not better. I never have good days.

I’ve been here before but I don’t think I posted an introduction when I first joined the site. That opening sentence is a good analogy for my story - I started something a number of years ago, I didn’t get far, couldn’t fully engage or complete the steps and now looking back, it’s hard to recall the detail (I had to go to my profile page to see the date I signed up - shocked that it was almost 5 years ago). Many ambitions in work, life, health, friendships but minimal progress and much frustration, sadness and increasing ill health. SSRI use began in my early 20s after many years of depression and anxiety. I think I was prescribed Citalopram. Towards the end of my 20s my husband and I decided to start a family. I came off meds twice because I didn't want to be on them during pregnancy or breadstfeeding. I don’t even recall how I stopped. Tried Zoloft after my 2nd child and had a terrible experience. Went on to Lexapro for approx 6 years. Switched to SNRI Effexor. I found the addition of norepinephrine really helpful to begin with as a prominent feature of my depression is lack of motivation and I was positive about the benefits I experienced. After some years I started experiencing debilitating daytime sleepiness. I had very heavy menstrual blood loss after my 2nd baby and often had low iron. Being a tired parent, the sleepiness didn’t seem that unusual, especially with my symptoms of low mood, anhedonia, etc. I tried to research the effect of antidepressants on sleep quality as I suspected that long term use could be affecting my sleep stages. Approx 2012 - 2015 Attempted to withdraw from Effexor twice. First attempt was way too fast and withdrawal was awful and so unsettling. Reinstated Second attempt was much slower after researching and finding anecdotal accounts of slow tapering; I think it was over 10-12 months. I coped until the end of the taper and then was once again really unwell. Once I reached small numbers of the little white beads I was swallowing them without a capsule It’s possible the drug didn’t make it past my stomach acids - essentially at the most precarious stage of tapering the decreases were way too large and fast. Couldn’t cope - back to GP and started on Cymbalta 30 and then 60mg. I saw a psychologist over many months and she encouraged me to investigate my sleepiness with a specialist and also to have an assessment for ADHD. In 2018 I did a number of sleep studies and was diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomnia; excessive daytime sleepiness despite fairly normal night time sleep.Sleep specialist prescribed Armodafinil 250mg daily - thankfully this keeps me awake. Psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD late 2018, age 46, and prescribed Vyvanse - This gave me mental clarity and optimism for better functioning in life. I couldn’t tolerate side effects and stopped after a few months. Also unable to tolerate Ritalin and Dexamfetamine. Devastated- after a brief glimpse at being able to organise and function well I had to stop the ADHD meds. Sleep Specialist doesn’t believe I have ADHD & that my executive function deficits stem from my sleep disorder. When I have raised the issue of long term antidepressant use as being the cause of my disorder, I get a blank stare and a recommendation to stay on the AD. Vyvanse gave me a very dry mouth, jaw clenching, mouth ulcers and a feeling of having burnt my tongue in a hot drink. The symptoms with my tongue in particular remained even after stopping Vyvanse. Oral specialist ruled out any issues. Nearly 5 years later I still have ‘burning mouth syndrome’. Some literature connects it to anxiety and also menopause. Oh yeah, menopause. ALL of my mental health struggles and symptoms have worsened with the hormonal upheaval. Pretty constant anxiety and very poor executive function. I discuss my depression and anxiety with my GP and they are very sympathetic. Suggested antipsychotics to get my anxiety under control. No thank you. I expressed concern that the long term AD use and daily anxiety is affecting my gastrointestinal health. She referred me for Gastroscopy & Colonoscopy, 2023. Colonoscopy all clear. Gastroscopy showed Telangiectasias in my upper stomach - like spider veins - with a ‘slow ooze’ of blood. No explanation of the cause Second gastroscopy was scheduled at a different clinic so they could treat the blood vessels - they use argon gas to seal off the bleeding - but this time the telangiectasias were not found. No explanation. My own theory is that the long term use of antidepressants is degrading my stomach (affecting so many systems in my body and brain) and that this mild bleeding happens sporadically and then resolves. I sometimes experience a bad taste in my mouth and wonder if it is from the blood. Blood test reveal low iron at times despite no dietary changes and no menstrual bleeding. Woah, this is turning into a long piece. I’m sure I could edit but I may never get it done and posted. I saw a different psychiatrist mid 2023. I was and am desperate to function better. The Psychiatrist didn’t recommend any of the non-stimulant ADHD meds, believing they could lead to adverse effects. Suggested I ask my Sleep specialist about increasing the Armodafinil to see if that helped. I increased by a half but it doesn’t help my executive functioning. Feb 2024 reduced Armodafinil from 375mg back to 250mg bc I was experiencing heart racing. That symptom has gone but I’m struggling with sleepiness during the day again. I guess my brain adapted to the higher dose. I’ve no way of proving my theories about the list of medical and psychological problems I have being linked to nearly 30 years of AD use. I want to get off Cymbalta. I have bought the Maudsley Deprescribing Guidelines. It’s going to be a very long road & I’m grateful for the SA resources and community.

Hello! I have been on varying doses of venlafaxine since 2001 and after trying to reduce sseveral times have managed to get stuck at 112.5mg, which I've been on for several years. I'm hoping that with the help fo the information on here I can eventually come off it completely. Thanks for reading!

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the information I have already learned from this site. I was addicted to drugs in my teens and early 20's (about 10 years). When I finally quite I ended up having debilitating panic attacks and depression which eventually saw me off work and back home for 3 years. I was prescribed zoloft (eventually 300mg) but ended up switching to effexor after I had a series of seizures (never had a definite diagnosis but was taken of the zoloft). I reacted horribly to effexor and was switched to Paxil, up to 60mg, and at some point have just been on it at 20mg. I was always nevervous about trying to quit, terrified of becoming non-functioning once again. Anyways, in 2021 I decided to start to try and quit... I became tired of worrying about always having a prescription filled because just one day without would always result in horrible brain zaps. So I thought I knew enough and was careful and decreased from 20 to 15mg. I had about a 2 week period of mostly physical symptoms (headache, fatigue) and honestly don't remember any mental symptoms. After about 6 months (after 20 years I was in no rush) I dropped to 10mg for about another 6 months with about the same results. In August of last year everything changed when I then dropped to 5mg. Very quickly I ended up having anxiety attacks, and being extremely "off". It is hard to explain. This resulted in me not taking a new job, which I thought was the trigger for the anxiety, but things stayed the same with anxiety as well as periods of weeping, feeling lost, not knowing who I was, confusion, and overall fear. I, as well as my doctor, assumed I was in relapse and I reinstated the last dose of 10mg. Unfortunately things didn't just resolve themselves. That is when I began researching and decided I was in post acute withdrawal. I have been getting better, it seems, until I have a stressful event (which my life is full of right now) which I'm sure triggers a neuro emotion and then takes about 2 to 3 days to come out of. One of the most difficult things is that I end up not being able to sleep (which is very uncommon for me) and I actually feel like I am strung out on drugs (haven't been for at least 20 years!!). Started seeing a therapist which has been helpful. To be honest it took some time for my wife to believe this was happening and she is now onboard. Even this morning (i have been going through a wave) I had to ask her if she believed me. Anyways, my doctor gets it to a point... he found me a compound pharmacy to begin tapering again. However, even though I explained it as best as I could and sent him info from the Royal College of Psychiatrists (showing a 10 per cent taper based on last dose) he told them 10 per cent reduction on initial dose. This meant I had to talk to the pharmacy, explain everything to them and have them reach out to the doctor again for a new prescription. Anyway, I talk to them tomorrow and am pretty sure I will be starting at 9mg in the next week. After this weekends wave I am super scared again. That's it for now. Thank you to everyone on this site for sharing, for giving me the confidence to advocate for myself with my doctor and have hope that there is a way out.

Not sure what to write…. I tried an unsuccessful tapering around 4 years ago, 2020, I was 60, crashed so badly, reinstated again, built my life up again. After some research I tried again tapering off last year 2023, did the tapering twice as long, over 6 months, not much information out there for getting off meds…. So wish I had this site then, did not know the tapering should be so slow!! Anyways, serious withdrawal symptoms that have destroyed my life again, now I live with horrible anxiety, physical pain, stomach issues, and mental anguish! Lost my whole lifestyle….I question daily “why did I do this to myself? Why am I putting myself through this suffering? On the Meds, my life wasn’t so bad, not like what some of you have. Yes, I slept 12 to 15 hours a day, mental fog, emotional numbness, but I had the strength to live, hobbies, reasons to be. now I’m just so lost…. There are days when I think I should reinstate but from reading here I’m afraid of different symptoms. I have been drug free 6 months,…. Something stops me from going back on…. Like if I do then this last year of suffering will be for nothing…. reading stories here is scary for me cause I didn’t know it would take so long for my brain, body, mind to heal. But it also the most real truthful place I found. I do a lot of daily walking, deep breathing, listening to healing videos, it is helping some…. But I have no meaning, no value in living, the real world outside of my home scares me, I feel like I don’t belong anymore. Now I live in an environment that I dislike immensely, which makes it even harder to build from. anyways, that’s it for now…. Now how to add the signature part of med history…

I stupidly started taking 10 mg per day of baclofen for pain, after being very clear with my doctor that I didn't want to take anything that causes physical dependence/addiction. The side effects were bad after taking it about 8 days so I stopped - and am now experiencing withdrawal! Turns out it must be tapered off. I'm beyond angry at myself and my doctor. Conventional instructions are to reduce 10 mg to 5 mg for a week, then half again, then stop - distressingly similar to the incorrect info we get about ADs. Does anyone know or have any experience with tapering off after taking 10 mg/day for 8 days? As background, I have taken ADs for over 30 years and have spent the last 5 years trying to taper off venlafaxine. I am now diagnosed with ME/CFS/mitochondrial deficiency. I'm still taking 8 mg of venlafaxine.

Hi all, I’m an almost 39 year old woman from the Netherlands. Going through withdrawl right now. Need support, thanks in advance!!! 2007 Started Paroxetine in end 2007 due to an anxiety disorder and emetophobia. Starting was hellish, also because high dose of metocolopramide combined with extreme loss of weight (46kg with 1,78m). Used 10mg for a year. Tapered in 3 months after one year, no acute withdrawl. 2009 Summer 2009 anxiety came back (don’t know if that was relapse due to stopping or new triggers for anxiety). Started again on 10mg. Was a rough start. Not many negative side effects during years of use. Used it from 2009 ‘till summer 2021. Had 2 separate years when I increased to 20mg. Going up and coming down to 10mg without any problems. Sometimes when I forgot a dose for two days (happened 2 times), noticed mild brainzaps. Gone within a days. In those years I experienced 4 to max 8 severe panic attacks per year. Used 20mg Oxazepam (Seresta) for those panic attacks. 2021 June 2021 wanted to come of Paroxetine due to sexual disorder and stabile life and mind (and negative info in the news about permanent damage). Tapered from 10mg to 4,5mg in four weeks, no problems. Wanted to taper from 4,5mg to 1,5mg in four weeks. Got withdrawl at 2,8mg, so stabilized at 3mg. Withdrawl ended in 7 days. Stabilized at 3mg since, without relapse. Noticed that I got more emotional, but guess that’s a normal thing in life. Had lots of therapy in 2022 for cluster C personality disorder. But managed with 3mg. Therapy ended sept ‘22. 2023 Plan was to taper from 3mg to 1mg in 6 months. And would taper final mg next year. January 26th started tapering. In four weeks from 3mg to 2,5mg. Sometimes excessive dreaming, sometimes a crying spell. Withdrawl? Don’t know. But could handle that. Next four weeks wanted to go from 2,5-2,0mg. When I got to 2,2mg after 2-3 weeks, started noticing two brainzaps. Started stabilizing on 2,2mg immediately. Stabilized on 2,2mg for 14 days, but withdrawl symptoms got worse. Ended up at the GP in the middle of the night. Anxiety, crying, depressed. Decided to go back up to 2,5mg cause didn’t have symptoms at that dosage. In the following 10-11 days (‘till today, 6th of april) I had several okay days. Brighter mind, less symptoms, still problems with waking up often during sleep and some physical symptoms. But also had a few days with many symptoms and complete hell: anxiety, wobbly head, depressed, crying a lot, dispair, hot flashes, shivers, trembling. GP —> rather 3 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 2 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 4 okay days —> today is hell again. And I’m so so scared. Desperate. Begged to get hospitalized for support and safe enviroment. But that’s only possible if you’re suidical. I’m not, although I wish I would these days… So many questions now. GP wants to help, but hasn’t got the right knowledge. So: A) it is normal to have okay and bad days in stabilisation fase? I tought it would be a slow line going up, didn’t expect those bad days. Certainly not after 10 days stabilisation. So scared of further deterioration next days… b) what is an average time to be stable again? C) is it possible to have an adverse reaction to stabilising on 0,3mg more then the 2,2mg in the two stabilisationweeks prior? D) what and when could be signs that I have to go back to 3,0mg from end of january (that was my last baseline 8 weeks ago already)? Did some online research last few weeks and now realise I went way to fast. Already thought is was a slow taper… Wish I had this info before… Some reactions would be awesome, really appreciate that!!!

Hi I hope that someone will be able to give me some kind of hope. I have been tapering from 20mg of Prozac and am now down to 4mg (for the last two months) but the side effects have been awful - mainly chronic fatigue, terror attacks, anxiety and generally feeling like I have the start or end of flu. Should I stay on the 4mg until this subsides? I was also on Venlafaxine 75mg (until about a year ago - but my GP withdrew me from this in a matter of weeks) so I'm not really sure if the symptoms are also due to this too.

I took 25 mg Zoloft about 12 years ago for just a few weeks. Decided it wasn’t for me. “Officially” started Zoloft 7 years ago for the first time for post-partum anxiety. I was a mess. Jumping at every little movement of things, miserable and anxious. I actually had an elevated TSH with my first pregnancy so that definitely could have contributed to my anxiety/arousal post partum. Now I have been on and off Z throughout those years to some degree or another for anxiety that is triggered by health-ocd. Feeling good this year during a busy work season, I reduced my 100 mg dose to 75 in October. Didn’t feel any different. Until I started getting low iron symptoms or so I thought (weak and shaky legs, shortness of breath, cheat pain). These were anxiety symptoms that I took for iron deficiency. So instead of getting anxiety under control, I took a BOAT LOAD of iron. I had had iron definitely in the past so I thought I knew what I needed. Also increased my Zoloft back up to 100 in November. But had an anxiety relapse on 100 mg (Dec 2023). Had iron levels tested. They were beyond fine (even highish ferritin). Looking back, it was likely side effects from upping from 75 to 100 that caused the anxiety. So naturally, didn’t feel well, so I increased to 125 and never got better. Started therapy during this time. Went up to 150 after 125 didn’t work. Each increase made me horrifically worse. Boarderline psychosis (this was in February). Started buspar 2.5 mg 3x per day. Thank heavens, I never went up on the buspar. (my GP confused side effects for anxiety) Reduced to 125 for a week the same day I began buspar. Then down to 100 one week after 125. Sat at 100 mg for 4 weeks. Started to feel more stable after 2 weeks at 100. But then became erratic with my buspar dosing (it also likely just starting to “work” which was likely too much medicine with the 100 mg Zoloft). Started getting withdrawal from buspar, but confused it for Sertonin syndrome. Then stopped the Buspar cold turkey approx. 2 weeks ago today (March 22). Had 3+ days of INTENSE withdrawal. Tremors, extreme anxiety, and feeling blank in my head. Had a few “normal days” then was having random bouts of anxiety and bad days, so I thought my Zoloft dose was still too high (stupid). Thankfully only went down to 87.5. Currrently tappered down to 87.5. Most recent taper was from 100 to 87.5 5 days ago. Many of my psychosis-like symptoms went away after coming down from 150. But then the withdrawal hit. Ive been experiencing many severe withdrawal symptoms intermittently throughout dose these past med changes including waves of brain fog, fatigue, exaggerated fears, feeling “flat,” intense anxiety over daily tasks, tremors, twitching and dizziness. Doing the work for my health OCD in therapy. Planning to come off with a slow taper in the next year or two. Tips welcome! I haven’t begun tapering as I just officially this week have been “saved” by SA. I have no idea where to begin even after reading the tapering guide. But I’m off to go read it again.

Hey guys, I've been on Escilatopram/ Lexapro for 17 years and I went from 20mg to 15mg with not much fuss. I stayed there for around 8 months coz I kept missing appointments with my psychiatrist. In those months, I started taking Omega 3, Lion's Mane and I'm on Probiotics and Magnesium anyway. I also started going to the gym 3 times a week. If making exercise a habit is a mystery to you, read this amazing book https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits. It might be important to note that I've been on an intense healing journey for 4 years. I've done lots of talk therapy(covered), breathwork(not covered), subconscious therapy(not covered), somatic massage(not covered), and done lots of reading on the nervous system, anger, etc. All of this built my self-awareness, so I know my limits a bit better. Then I went down to 10mg with liquid Escilatopram and had a rough week. I was very angry, and lots of thoughts/ feelings came up. I'm guessing this was all suppressed by the medicine. So I started looking for urgent therapy. In Germany, you need a consultation appointment to verify that you need therapy before you actually get therapy. In Berlin, you go through KV Berlin (association of Doctors); you can even make an appointment online now: https://www.116117.de/de/index.php. Click on the time to book the appointment. But you need to go back to KV database of doctors to figure out what languages these available doctors speak. Make sure your browser is not automatically translating; it messes up the search. So, after the first rough week of withdrawal, I've had a week of feeling ok with bouts of irrational anger, which was under control. Also, I didn't push myself and took naps when overwhelmed, normally 2 hours each. I also took pharmacy-grade Ketamine to cope with the really rough moments and took 1.2gm of magic mushrooms once in that 2 week period. I only went to the gym twice this week and did a big bike ride and forest walk. I also added B-complex to my supplements. So I did the consultation appointment, and she told me to go to a day clinic within a hospital where they would also deal with my chronic pain and give me daily therapy (covered). Apparently, that clinic will get me on to weekly therapy sessions once I'm ready for that. I will do that after Easter weekend and continue tapering. There's also an option to stay at a rehabilitation clinic (covered) which has a daily schedule of therapy and exercise. So the journey continues. I've tried to get off these meds before, and I feel a lot more stable and in control. I do believe the supplements and exercise help. My husband is also being super supportive. I see my psychiatrist soon and will taper down to maybe 7mg or 5mg. I'm not the most patient person, I want to be able to go back to work quickly without biting anyone's head off. Has anyone tried vagus nerve exercises to calm the nervous system in these bad moments?

Hello all. First time poster here. I have been a member for over a year but never had the nerve to post. I need help. Quick background: Was put on 20mg paxil and .5mg xanax per day around 2006. The xanax was switched to ativan probably around 2011ish. I quit the paxil and ativan c/t end of October 2020. January 2nd 2021 started having extreme unrelenting brain zaps, anxiety, fear, terror, palpitations, inability to sleep....just wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I had quit drinking January 1st and assumed it was that...but I was not that heavy of a drinker. I now believe this was my first experience of withdrawal. Around the 12th day of experiencing this I took 10mg of paxil out of sheer desperation. A couple of hours later it virtually stopped all of the worst symptoms. My nervous system was taxed. I was shaky...but somewhat alright. It took a month or so to feel myself. I stayed on the 10mg. Plus side...I was no longer taking the ativan. Fastforward to January 2023. I attempted to wean down further to 5mg. This was going fine all the way to September 27th when I stopped altogether...again. I could tell my brain was healing and I had plenty of mild symptoms...but I was ok. February 27th 2024...randomly had my heart rate go up to 140 bpm while sitting watching tv. Went to the ER...everything came back fine. "Must be my anxiety I thought". I should note that prior to meds my ocd/generalized anxiety/occasional panic disorder were not what they became ON the meds...hence my realization that they were doing no good if not increasing issues. Anyway...I felt a bit better but then had a root canal this past Monday March 25th. Within a few hours the unrelenting feelings were back like before (in 2021) but even worse. My heart rate was up around 120bpm or so just walking around...lightheaded, dizzy, odd sensations like sounds seemed too loud etc. This horrible sensation of something that begins in my chest like the worst panic sensations you can imagine. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldnt go for walks, my heart rate was scaring me. This has gone on for over a week. I relented and took @ 2.5mg of paxil yesterday and @2.5mg today about 24hr apart. There are other symptoms I was feeling but cant remember right now. Within 2 hours the feeling in the core of my body began to melt. It didnt go completely away but it became maybe 3/4 better. Im scared. Im trying...maybe the wrong way but trying. I want this gone. I want this drug gone. Im just trying to stabilize. I dont want to lose my job. My doctor is having heart tests done but doesnt believe its a heart issue. I also, for years...all of which are during the time from first c/t to now have had a feeling like Im not getting full breaths. Pulmonologist says nothing is wrong with my lungs except I smoke. He did a full pulmonary function test. Im just looking for support...a feeling like I can do this...like Im going to be ok eventually. A comradery with someone or someones who understand. I dont know how to effectively cope. Nothing at all seemed to help in the worst times...and I dont want it back. But...I want this drug gone. I want to heal. I want to move on. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads my story. There's more to it...but this is the most pertinent slice...for now. All help is appreciated. -Rob

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

Hi Everyone, First of all I want to thank each person who will take the time to read my story and answer me This is my story and I could write a book.. I am a 33 years old French man I started PAROXETINE when I was 16 years old ( 18 years of treatment ) 2006 I Started PAROXETINE at 20mg by my family doctor following a huge panic attack triggered by a bad trip to Canabis (heavy consumption the same day) in high school, with a suddenly effects of DP/ DR tenfold, symptom accompanied by period of black out.. I was not a regular consumer just a young person with bad attendance and very impressionable who wanted to try. At this point I did not know what DPDR was and no doctor explained to me the why of the how. For me it was a reaction of cannabis. The years have passed I have not had any particular psychological or psychiatric follow-up. DPDR it is installed then it is attenuated until disappearing, I remember having occasional panic attacks that manifested by a DPDR and then went away.. Terrible teen that I was it was not my lesson, DPDR resurfaced on a Christmas night or I re-smoked cannabis with a bad trip that manifested as the first time with blackout periods The years have passed. I tried to stop treatment with my doctor several times. The instructions of my first weaning were to take 1 pills per day then every other day then every other day etc... The symptoms of physical withdrawal brain zap often made me stop attempts to stop treatment because unbearable with reintroduction of the dose at 20mg each time. I had to stay at least 8-10 years at 20mg I felt normal. 2015-2016 During these years I always wanted deep down to stop this treatment because I did not want to be dependent on a drug and for me everything was fine but I began to be afraid of the long-term effect on my memory, An example in a discussion with friends when I was asked, you remember when we did this on that day or you remember this movie… and I had trouble remembering each time… (I still have this problem to this day 18 years later) So I started looking on the internet for a way to stop this treatment that for me was the cause of this loss of memory and that would make me lose my mind in the long term.. I do not have a great memory but I found this forum in 2015 or I found info that explained that during a withdrawal it was especially important not to jump dose and that it was necessary to gradually decrease the doses by taking it all the days I started to cut the tablet from 20mg in 2 from 20mg to 10mg I stayed for a long time at month 2-3 years at this dose trying later to cut it again in 2 and passing to 5mg It should be noted that during all these years I have always been someone very anxious who constantly wonders about the why of the like, life, existence, a terrible anguish by death with occasional anxiety attack and panic attack that manifested through a DP/DR and then passed and I became normal again without being blocked in the DP/DR (I still don’t know what DP/DR was in those 2015-16 years) 2020 My wife gets pregnant, upheaval in our life, during pregnancy questions begin to settle, life, life existence, aging etc… We go on holiday in the USA in the family of my wife For 3 weeks I drink alcohol because the family there party and drink alcohol, almost every day, (but usually I do not drink alcohol I drink some beer from time to time but no more...) At this time (and even before these holidays ) I regularly drank lots of coffee like any normal person. Coffee has always tended to make my heart beat We come back from vacation the same evening I lie next to my wife and a big palpitation happen, I put the hand of my wife on my heart I’m afraid, I have the impression of having a heart attack, but it is a panic attack. I ended up falling asleep.. The next day, everything got weird I’m not myself the DPDR came back knocking and settles and gets worse by the day The loop settles, existential questions turn in loop, the birth of my future child, the fear of growing up, aging and death, it turns in loop, all the days. I’m not hungry anymore. This time it’s about I’m going crazy, I literally think I’m going schizophrenic. (I still don’t know what DPDR is at that time) I decide to make an appointment with a psychiatrist explaining the situation, at that time I was at 10mg PAROXETINE, he tells me that 10mg is not a therapeutic dose it is necessary to go up to 20mg to feel effects I go up to 20mg of PAROXETINE but nothing always passes this weird feeling of being foreign to myself. I take an other appointment with him and he tell me to go up to 40mg of PAROXETINE and prescribe TRANXENE(Clorazépate) to take punctually I try some day I take a TRANXENE my condition worsens.. I continue it’s even worse I decide to go down to 20mg of PARXOETINE it’s still not okay but I continue and stabilize to 20mg of PAROXETINE I am afraid, I take refuge on the internet, what happens to me? I search : "Weird sensation of not being yourself" I discover the word Depersonalization and Déréalization DP/DR I search and search and read lots of forums in French, English, YouTube etc… , I’m a little reassured because I’m not alone in having this but I’m still with this DP/DR symptoms I come across a video the guy explains that : "it’s a weird sensation, its strange but not dangerous… quick tips put sunglasses!" , I do it immediately it calms down a little and I come across a site that catches my attention: "the guide to overcome dpdr" of Shaun O Connor I read it and learn what is really the DPDR, its a symptom of Aniety, then i applied to the letter the steps of the guide. Time passes I get back to the gym, I discover breathing, cardiac coherence, I go see a Psychologist expert in EFT technique to manage my emotions, DP/DR still does not pass I continue to look, I go to see a neuropsychologist I make a brain x-ray for me I have a tumor but results... no, nothing i am normal. The sessions pass, I hang up during this period to snort a paper soaked with lavender because I read that it calms the stress, my state improves only a little I hold the blow, I occupy my mind, I work, my daughter is finally born, I listen to music all day, music is my life. I’m a drummer. I put into practice what I learn in the guide! I stop eating too much candy of all kinds during this period and especially I stop coffee because I learn that it triggers anxiety in my case, I tell myself that’s it, I drink up to 4-5 coffee a day, I put my finger on the cause I drink too much coffee and too much caffeine = palpitation = it triggers my screams of anxiety why I didn’t think about it earlier… For me I found the solution: I stop coffee = I wouldn’t have panic attacks I stop my antidepressant = I am cured no more memory problem. Life goes on DPRDR fades and DPDR disappears without I really realize when 2021 My daughter grew up, she is already 1 year old and I no longer have an anxiety attack, I really feel normal The Covid lockdown is coming and I stay at home I see my daughter growing, stressed of this strange period but no anxiety attack, because for me I put my finger on the problem, no more panic attack as long as I will not drink coffee I will not have any anxiety attack. I start to look to now deal with this PAROXETINE treatment. I read and read on the internet I learn that PAROXETINE has a very short half-life that must be reduced by 10% increments otherwise the side effects happen very quickly. I learn that PAROXETINE exists in liquid version so i begin it. 2022-2023 I do an excel sheet with calculations and final dates, end of year I am free of this poison that for me makes me lose memory and that is finally can be also potentially trigger Anxiety DP/DR I start the liquid version I go down from 20mg to 10mg of PAROXETINE, everything is fine I stabilize at 10mg and I continue by lowering 1mg by 1mg Every month so : 9mg - 8mg -7mg - 6mg...until 0 I arrive at 2 mg of PAROXETINE i do not have any withdrawal symptom but onyl light brain zap, but problem, the bottle is empty I go to the pharmacy as usual to take my treatment but the pharmacist told me that the liquid version is stopped in France for an indeterminate duration.. I drive until 2 hours to take the last stock of pharmacies nearby I go down to 1.5mg of PAROXETINE, I’m almost there, I’m at the end but I have no more PAROXETINE in the bottle... what do I do? I go on internet I search that I could make switches on PROZAC/FLUOXETINE which is also in liquid. I don’t have time, I don’t have anything left in the bottle just enough to switch gradually to PROZAC. I change my excel table with the dose and date calculation for the switch and let’s go. Meanwhile I move, I buy a house and begins heavy renovation work, lots of stress.. I debute a cross switch I lower the PAROXETINE : 1,5mg - 1 - 0,5 - 0 and rise to 5mg of PROZAC and stabilize during 4 week of PROZAC Brain zaps are hard but I’m finally going to be free… I’m holding on I’m almost there.. The days pass and suddenly DPDR arrives from nowhere and settles down and no longer me, what happens to me I thought I was done? I don’t drink coffee anymore how is that possible? This time it’s the right one my brain is screwed. My condition degrades very quickly I put my sunglasses I take out my lavender paper back.. The loop resets day after day with the fear of being afraid… , severe depression, severe anxiety, morning diarrhea, awakening with palpitation great sadness, uncontrolled crying, impulse phobia I am afraid of hurting myself I am afraid of committing suicide, I’m doing work in the bathroom upstairs I look at the window I’m afraid of losing control and jumping.. MARCH 2023 I can’t stay like this… I have a home business if I don’t work I don’t make money… I take refuge on the internet and I search: Best psychiatrist DP/DR specialist I search and I search I find a 400km a specialized hospital that speaks of DPDR the psychiatrist seems to know what she speaks and recognized in the environment I take appointment I melt in tears I’m at the bottom of the hole.. She told me that the dose are too low and prescribed me 20mg of PROZAC and ATARAX(Hydroxyzine) to take punctually 2 weeks pass I retake an appointment with her it goes very slightly better so I continue at 20mg 4 weeks pass it worse, I have the impression that the PROZAC is too strong and it is what induces and persists DP/DR I ask him to lower to 10mg I ask her if she knows a therapist because I would like to take things in hand and start a CBT , She gives me the name of a colleague she works with I take 1 session then 2,3,4 until 8, i hang on that, I speak to her, it does me good I wait for each session as a deliverance, It costs me a lot of money but I have no choice. At the same time the DPDR persists I am still not myself sudden mood changes, sudden big sadness, uncontrolled crying, morning diarrhea, my libido collapses.. My wife is aware of my PAROXETINE treatment we have been together for 18 years , she has always suffered my mood change and do not understand I look good outside... but I in my head it is hell She often asks me "what you look like you’re depressed ?" My 3-year-old daughter also often asks me: "Dad, why are you making that face" , "Dad, why are you sad?" I’m having a hard time playing and taking care of her.. My anxiety is too present it always turns in loop in my head. All awakenings are accompanied with palpitations and a new symptoms in the morning of the awakening are random words and phrases that pass at full speed in my head like when you have a music stuck in your head What happens to me? I go crazy ? I have random words in my head i talk to myself ? this time it’s sure for me I am becoming schizophrenic... (but my Psychiatrist told me : I promise you are not schizophrenic, its all about anxiety..) SEPTEMBER 2023 4 months pass the sessions of CBT help me a little, I space the sessions them more and more because too expensive, the DPDR is always present for me I am still not normal I am always disconnected I continue to occupy my mind every minute, I continue the renovation of my house all the days even the week-end, first minute of each day I put my earphones I have to occupy my mind, I listen to podcasts until the evening everything is good so that I avoid thinking about DP/DR and looping on the existential thoughts it tired me but I have no other solution.. OCTOBER 2023 A rather exceptional event manifests itself on a Sunday, by sudden brain zap, vertigo.. , I wonder what happens to me, big palpitation I have the impression that I will have a heart attack, I am at 2 finger to call the emergency, I decide to go to the "Emergency Pharmacy" because all our pharmacy are closed on Sunday in France, I take my prescription with me, I tell myself that the box of prozac has a defect and that suddenly I have brain zap I do not understand.. To my surprise and as the pharmacist informs me: "Sir it’s normal, have a look, they were wrong at your last prescription, they gave you PAROXETINE instead of PROZAC, I look at the prescription and it is well marked : PAROXETINE delivery. I cry, its a nightmare.. Its actually been 1 month that I had switch without knowing 10mg of PROZAC to 10mg of PAROXETINE. Unfortunately, I did not notice this mistake cause I usually put the box of medicine in my bag by taking it in the morning in a hurry before work without my daughter seeing me take it, I did not check the box, it has become so automatic... I blamed myself terribly, what a nightmare, the last switch PAROXETINE —> PROZAC had been so hard and horrible that I had gone back to square one… 1ST DECEMBER 2023 My condition is horrible, my brother-in-law’s father died suddenly, I put myself in his place , its loop in my head, I’m afraid, I cry, I transpose all the faces of my family on the body, I decide to go back to 20mg of PROZAC I have no other solution on hand.. The next day on December 2nd it is already better, i am quite surprised because the PROZAC has a very long half life.. 14 DECEMBER 2023 Debut of new unpleasant symptom random tingling sensation throughout the body, adrenaline discharge sensation with sudden tingling, I become very sensitive to the slightest sound , TV, light, it triggers me this weird symptoms 16 December 20233 I go from 20mg to 10mg of PROZAC to try to alleviate the new symptoms because for me the PROZAC does not suit me or the dose is not good, (for me the PROZAC was always something that did not suit me and made me feel weird) i don't know.. 2024 So actually, 2 months later, I am still at 10 mg of PROZAC, I decided to stabilize myself at this dose even if i am not feeling normal, cause as you can see there were a lot of changes in the dose of PROZAC. I still do not feel myself, always this feeling of DR of unreality of the world, depression, with moments where my face freezes without emotion… and loss/supression of my libido like I’ve never had. I don’t know what’s happening to me. According to my research on the forum and the article of Altostrata on PUBMED I explain what happened to me with the sudden arrival of a big anxiety and DP/ DR during the switch last year is that I was in the post withdrawal phase of PAROXETINE and that the sudden loss of libido would be PSSD ?, I am not yet very familiar with all these terms but I think I put my finger on the why of the how, tell me if I am wrong. My current dilemma: Is it better not to be dependent and not to take an antidepressant but to risk being bad and "look like sh*t" all my life with this depression, DP/DR or is it better to take an antidepressant (PAROXETINE) all my life but to feel good. I am currently thinking of 2 solutions because I want to get out of it, 1) Doing a gradual withdrawal of PROZAC knowing that I am stabilizing at 10mg, and try to live without antidepressant (I do not know what it is to live without this antidepressant I do not remember because I started it when I was 16) OR 2) Take the PAROXETINE back to 10mg and take it all my life, because it is very hard stopped with its very short half-life. In fact i think, i am not a specialist but its easier to stop a long half life antidepressant than a short half life one. I ask to you all, because my psychiatrist clearly told me that PAROXETINE was not possible that it was not a stable molecule and that if we had to change antidepressant we would go from PROZAC to SERTRALINE Please, I am very lost and look for any help, Thanks again for everyone who came this far Have an excellent day