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Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Hi everyone, I'm Stanislav, 24 years old and I've been suffering from constant depersonalization/derealization for almost 7 years, triggered by a weed induced panic attack. My symptoms include feeling unreal, confused in the world, racing thoughts, excessive symptom monitoring, memories don't seem like my own, loss of sense of self, apathy, anhedonia, lights are bright and "tunnel vision" (a kind of visual processing problem where I don't seem to percieve all of my FOV at once). Two years later I was curious about medication since my symptoms haven't improved despite cbt therapy and time passing. In January 2020, I went to a psychiatrist, briefly described my situation and he instantly prescribed me Lexapro 10mg, which was supposedly really safe and unproblematic. I started taking it and felt changes in the next months. I cared much less about the intrusive thoughts but also had more anhedonia, was even less prone to laughing, was always feeling a bit tired and it was more difficult to reach orgasm but for me that was fine, since I had issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway, shortly after I met my boyfriend (the light of my life) and I continued the use of Lexapro for 2 years. Often times only taking half a dose, in hindsight it was irresponsible to be doing this. My dpdr symptoms have not improved but they were easier to live with and ignore. I want to emphasize that I didn't have a close connection to my psychiatrist and basically only went there for a new receipt where he asked if everything was fine and I said yes. Having no idea that tapering after prolonged AD use is supposed to be really slow, even though 5mg is the minimal tablet dosage, I quit cold turkey in 2022 for a month from 5mg because it wasn't helping with dpdr, not thinking much of it. I began experiencing great anxiety and depression and wanted to try wellbutrin, which helped for some people. So I was on wellbutrin for 2 weeks and had to quit it because it made me extremely tired and not much else. I then restarted Lexapro 5mg and later went up to 10mg for another 1 1/2 years. It was similar to the first time I took it. Then in January 2023 I decided to get off the drug and really work on my anxiety to recover from dpdr, which had been ruining my inner life. (Outwardly I was doing fine, got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics, while being dissociated 24/7, working on my master's degree right now) Without talking to my psychiatrist, whom I didn't trust that much anyway and he was changing offices too, I quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey about a year ago. I really did not think much of it. I was really convinced the drug was relatively harmless. Stupid of me, I now know better. My withdrawals started after a week and I suffer them until today, a year later. They're not as bad as some people here have them but they are still debilitating and include: Waking up with and suffering from strong anxiety and incessant racing thoughts and uncontrollable worries, depressed mood, heart beating fast, not being able to breathe in deeply, I also have anhedonia which I had before but now it's worse and I miss laughing. At first I was telling myself it was relapsing or that my dpdr was improving because I was feeling more anxiety, so my emotions were less dampened but just last week the realization hit me that I was not just suffering from dpdr but also from having been on Lexapro. At this point I wish I never took it. The last few days have been especially bad with me not being able to calm myself down and feeling like a hopeless case. The withdrawal symptoms have not improved at all yet. I've been going to the gym for 2 months and I will continue to do so. One thing that sometimes helps is a diaphragmatic breathing meditation, Doing this I can feel the anxiety subside sometimes. I am struggling at work and university but I hope that I will improve in the next year. Do you guys think there is hope for me? I know I ***** up but after a year, I don't want to start taking the drug again to taper it more slowly. I was thinking about doing rTMS for depression and anxiety and I am also in therapy for the last half year. Would appreciate any kind words and thoughts. Cheers

I have been on 20 mg of Lexapro for about 20 years for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have had breakthrough anxiety several times during the period and recently it seems to have quit working. My doctor did a genetic test which showed that I was not a good match for Lexapro do to being an ultra rapid metabolizer of the drug. Two weeks ago he did a direct switch from the 20 mg of Lexapro to 40 mg of Prozac. Since the switch I have been getting progressively worst having extreme anxiety, feeling sick, and having trouble with concentration. Really unsure of what to do as the symptoms are pretty severe. Any suggestions on what to do to help with the symptoms, should I reinstate the Lexapro or continue going forward with Prozac. Thanks in advance

Hello all, I am a 26 year old male living in the midwest of the United States. I had my first bout of depression when I was about 14. It’s been pretty up and down since then. I had been struggling for a while to adjust to the stresses of college and I kept getting beat down with anxiety and depression so I finally reached out for help to my GP. I was prescribed 50mg of Zoloft in October of 2017. I started with half a dose and it really did seem to lift my spirits and give me confidence I really noticed when talking to other people. Anxiety and shy/insecure feeling when talking to others is something I have always felt, and this was exciting to see a change in. I went up to 50mg after a couple weeks and after a couple more weeks there decided to go back down to 25mg as it started to make me apathetic. I also lost libido and interest in the opposite sex which was a scary feeling to me as a young college student. The Zoloft began to make me extremely lethargic and fatigued to the point where I could barely get out of bed, and I felt like my body was just heavy and weak. This annoyed me for a couple weeks then I went cold turkey off of it in January 2018. I was on it for a total of about 4 months. I experienced acute withdrawal for around 2 weeks and had brain zaps along with extreme irritability, but it passed and I was fine withdrawal wise. I still suffered from anxiety and depression, however, and in October 2019 I tried again to take Zoloft 25mg but quit again after about two weeks as it just made me too fatigued. In July of 2020 I was really depressed and went back to the dr. This is when I was prescribed Lexapro 10mg. The Lexapro really helped me, and my overall contentment was up, anxiety/depression were down, and I was doing pretty well. This lasted for around 7 months (till January 2021), where I realized that I was once again apathetic and more tired than usual but not bed ridden. The sexual side affects were strong as well, and having a girlfriend at the time, this bothered me a lot. I was apathetic enough around this time to stop caring about her as much and although there were other problems with our relationship I attribute the meds to a large part of the reason I broke up with her. I went down to 7.5 mg and gained some libido and energy. I was doing pretty well for the next few months although the breakup was hard. In October 2021 I went down to 5mg and stayed there until about December of 2022. I had been extremely fatigued once again and blamed the Lexapro, so I started to taper but very quickly - I went down to zero in around a month (January 2023). I started to experience panic attacks and feeling like I was going to pass out. I felt completely out of control of my own body and it was terrifying. I tried Buspar for about 2 weeks to help with this but gave that up as well. I went back up to 5mg Lexapro until April and tapered down to Zero over the next two months. June 6, 2023 was the date I fully got off Lexapro. I have been suffering since. My main side effects are extreme anxiety and depression, feelings of utter hopelessness, feelings of intense fear, shakiness, cold intolerance, panic attacks, and muscle aches in my arms, chest, neck, and legs (feels kind of like growing pains). I do experience the windows and waves, although the windows are not “normal” feeling, just patches where I am doing better rather than worse.

Hello- as my topic title shows, I have been on anti-depressants for 24 years (20mgs Lexepro, 175 mgs Wellbutrin). It is hard to face. After the birth of my first son, I began having acute anxiety. When I told my gynecologist he told me it was common after giving birth because of hormonal changes. In such cases, he recommends about six months of medication to help with the symptoms and recommended a psychiatrist that he works with for patients such as me. I'm sure none of you are surprised to know that, as is all too common, I never got off the drugs for very long. Each time withdrawel symptoms were interpreted as my illness returning. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression all her sad life, so it wasn't hard to believe that I was ill. Yet, I still tried a few times to stop the drugs. Interestingly, once it became clear how difficult it was to get off the drugs, I knew with certainty that I needed to stop taking them. I Thought I would put if off until I was retired, so I would have less stress, etc. to deal with the WD, but when I learned about the10% taper it gave me hope that I can be AD free by my 60th birthday! I will start with the Lexepro. Getting myself a scale and using a spreadsheet to calculate the decreases. I'm getting my yoga and walking on, and continuing meditation for success! I'm so glad to have this site for reference, information and support!

Hi everybody, posting this here in hopes of some help with taking next steps. I was on 20mg/day escitalopram (aka lexapro/cipralex) for 3 years due to crippling anxiety that came out of nowhere (never had anxiety before), and despite taking good care of myself (sleep habits, nutritious diet, regular exercise, strong social relationships, etc), it persisted. So after 6 months, I decided to take the drug route. I didn’t notice any improvement with 10mg after a couple weeks so we upped it to 20mg (should’ve given 10mg more time). My anxiety was brought under control without any serious side effects at first. After being on it for 1-2 years, I started to notice that I was always pretty tired and increasingly apathetic despite my good lifestyle practices and having always been an energetic and motivated person. By the end of the 3rd year, I was exhausted all the time with no motivation/enthusiasm, brain fog, and would literally need a nap 3 hours after waking up from 10hrs of sleep (caffeine/stimulants didn’t make a difference). A hard workout (I am a bodybuilder (no steroids tho)) would leave me crushed for several days, like a constant hangover. I was just chronically exhausted and lethargic and, possibly by extension of that or as a separate issue, depressed and unmotivated. I did a 4-week taper from 20mg to 0mg without any issues at each reduction, spending several days at each dose to make sure I was stable before reducing again. I now know that was way too quick of a taper, but I didn’t have any adverse reactions to dose reductions, even after going down to 0mg, and my energy/mood seemed to improve at first. It has now been 7+ months since my last dose because I thought it was just a matter of time/toughing it out after you got all the way off. To make matters worse, my last doses were 10mg that I was alternating with 0mg, which I now know I shouldn’t have done. The only acute withdrawal symptom I had was some manageable vertigo, but the protracted withdrawal symptoms have been hell. Despite great life circumstances and maintaining a good quality diet, sleep habits, and exercise routine, I am now almost always: exhausted, sad/depressed, lethargic, spacey, unenthusiastic, apathetic/anhedonic, irritable, moody, and sometimes anxious (though not nearly as bad as the original anxiety that I started taking the SSRI for). I don’t really enjoy doing much of anything any more and I feel like I could sleep forever. I’m lucky to work a job that is flexible, so I don’t need to set an alarm usually and typically get 9-10hrs of sleep. I still wake up tired every day and often need naps despite never being a nap person before. My sleep quality is good (no insomnia really) My life is falling apart. I’m familiar with the waves and windows, and I’ve experienced one 2-week window, and the very rare goodish day here and there, during that 7-month period, but most days are crap . I have been tracking my mood/energy every day in a spreadsheet for last 3 months, and although I THINK I am doing a bit better now than I was during the first few months, it’s almost negligible, with awful days and chronic exhaustion still being the norm. Given that I am 7+ months in, I don’t want to quit while being so “far along”, and I know that reinstatement is less likely to work now or may even have adverse effects (kindling), but I am starting to consider getting back on a very small dose (<1mg?) to get stable again before executing a proper taper in hopes of avoiding continued PWS. I’m 25 and I’ve basically lost the last 2 years of my life, which I know is nothing compared to some of the experiences on this site, but I’m hoping to get some guidance or input here since my doctor is pretty out of the loop on SSRI PWS (his suggestion was to start taking wellbutrin/buproprion, which I would rather not gamble with). It seems to me that I’m basically deciding between the risk of reinstatement resetting my withdrawal progress and not working/making things worse OR toughing it out for who knows how long, maybe forever, and possibly getting new, even worse, withdrawal symptoms as I know there is a possibility of experiencing new withdrawal symptoms many months down the road. Some context notes: I am still able to consume most supplements (other than 5-HTP and melatonin) without any obvious adverse effects (for example, caffeine/pre-workout and nicotine gum/Zyn seem to be fine, although they aren’t as effective as they used to be) and I still lift weights very intensely since time away from training doesn't seem to help.Point being, I haven’t really been able to identify any trends as far as diet, supplementation, lifestyle habits, etc. causing waves, but perhaps it’s because I’ve been constant with everything. I also tried magic mushrooms (2g) and it had no effect acutely, although the following weeks were slightly better, that could’ve just been a natural “window”. Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I am feeling hopeless.

Hi all, LavaBat here and ready to get some support for tapering off of Lexapro. A little about me: I am located in midwest USA and am 27 years old. I love animals, exercise, reading, and watching tv/movies. I was put on Lexapro at the age of 14 for anxiety and panic attacks, I am now 27 and can't seem to get off. I do not remember the dosage back then, but do know the highest I ever took was 20mg. In my later teen years I was at 10mg. Around 19 years old I managed to get down to 7.5mg and have been at 7.5mg for the past 8 years with no luck getting lower. At 22, I was diagnosed with Autism, and have found that was the cause of my anxiety/panic as a child because I did not have the correct accommodations and support. Since I got the correct diagnosis and support, I have tried several times to wean off. The first attempt was several years ago and my doctor suggested half dose for a few weeks, then half of that, and then off. I tried going down to 5mg and within a week I felt the most severe panic that I had ever felt before. My doctor told me that meant I needed the medication because I clearly still had bad anxiety and the medication was needed to keep it at bay. So I went back to 7.5mg immediately and stayed there for another year or so. Then with a new doctor, I tried to wean off again. This time it was suggested to shave off a bit of the pill each week. I believe I was shaving off about 10% of weight each week. Around week 3 of shaving down the pill, my anxiety was back to being unbearable along with bad nausea and diarrhea. The doctor told me once again that meant I needed to stay on the meds as I still had bad anxiety without. I have not tried weaning since 2022 and am still at 7.5mg. I have also had issues with different brands and forms of the drug. When I picked up meds from a different pharmacy, after about a month I was getting very dizzy and lightheaded. Luckily I was able to get back to the other brand. Then last month, I found this site and decided to try to switch to liquid Lexapro to help the weaning process. I did 5mg pill and 2.5mg liquid for a few days. I had nausea, diarrhea, headaches, and anxiety so I went back to 7.5mg fully in pill form. And that is where I am now. My first question is, should I even bother trying to get off Lexapro? I have zero known side effects from taking it at my current dose and manufacturer. My partner asked me why I wanted to get off since it has been so hard and I don't have any issues with Lexapro. I couldn't come up with an answer other than I just want to and hate the idea of being so "addicted" to something. Is it possible that I genuinely need to be taking Lexapro? As for tapering, I am not sure where to go from here since the liquid Lexapro didn't work for me. If I were to make my own solution with the pill, I just worry that I wouldn't be getting an exact dosage each day and I would have to make it each day to stay potent. Shaving off by weight also seems a bit hard to get exact dosages with too. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Since I tried the liquid Lexapro only a few weeks ago, should I not taper for a bit just to make sure I'm stable? And finally, I was looking at microtapering. Since I have had such bad reactions in the past and already know I am super sensitive to medications (not just Lexapro), I have been thinking of starting with literally 1-2% taper for this next try. I think that could help me perhaps get the smallest amount of withdrawal and ease my fear of a bad reaction. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and for any support

Suffering from severe stress, overthinking and anxiety for over 15 years. Was on cymbalta for about 5 years. Then tried to withdraw from it using amino acids and herbs on my own. But had serious withdrawal symptoms and psychosis. Then I was prescribed Lexapro 20 mg and rexulti 1 mg. I was able to withdraw from rexulti after 2 years. But still currently on Lexapro 20 mg since 4 years. I want to wean off this time. I am so planning to get the SPECT scan done at the Amen clinics soon if it can be helpful. I am currently 35 years old and not going to give up this time. i tried to lower the dose by 15% (approx) 3 weeks back for 3 days and had severe withdrawal symptoms like fever, headache, muscle pain, sore throat, brain zaps, loss of control. I went back to my original 20mg dose and doing fine now since this week. Is it a good idea to take fish oil, multi vitamins, and other natural herbs while tapering off Lexapro so brain can produce new neurotransmitters?

Hi everyone. First time posting but I’ve been reading a lot of your stories over the last week. Thanks to you all for sharing, the mods for their feedback and the amazing resources that have been prepared. I’m 60 and have struggled with anxiety for most of my life but always felt like it was my own fault. I’m sure we’ve all been told that we need to be more resilient/less sensitive etc - as if that ever helped anyone, but I digress. My antidepressant journey began in 1995 when I tried Zoloft for post natal depression. It didn’t make me feel “better” but I didn’t want to kill myself anymore, so I guess it was better than nothing. Dr told me to get off it after 6 months so I did. Didn’t notice any changes. Quit my job and decided to move back to my home city and was prescribed Cipramil by a psychiatrist. When I first started it it honestly made me a bit manic I think and I decided to blow up my life further by splitting up with my husband. I went along happily on Cipramil for a while, got a new job and a new partner. Tried to quit cold turkey when I got pregnant again but was so loopy my dr told me the benefits outweighed the risks and I should stay on it through the pregnancy. My baby was born perfect in 2004 so all was well but my depression continued. At some point I had to stop Cipramil because of concerns about urination (one of those rare side effects). Psych tried me on Effexor because she thought the norepinephrine might help. I hated it and had to have a washout period of about 2 weeks before I could start a new something new. So about 2005 I started Lexapro. I was told it’ll be great cos it’s related to Cipramil and that worked well for me before. I can vividly remember the feeling as it literally hit my brain after the hellish washout period from Effexor. Such a relief. Started at 10 mg. In 2009 I got right into mindfulness meditation and it helped me immensely. I got healthy in body and mind and decided I was well enough to taper off Lexapro. By this time I was seeing my local dr (here in Australia we call them GPs or General Practitioners) for my prescriptions because the mindfulness had helped so much I stopped seeing the psych. But when I needed a new prescription to finish out my taper, I just got a lecture instead. That it was perfectly ok to stay on antidepressants long term and some people just need them. The amount I was taking at that time was well below the therapeutic dose and I should either stop or keep taking 10 mg a day. I liked my GP ( and he’d clearly drunk the coolaid) so I listened to him and went back up to 10 mg daily. Life happened and my mindfulness and fitness fell away and by 2017 I was falling back into a hole. My new GP told me to up my dose to 20 mg so I did, with minor improvements. By 2019 I was having suicidal ideation again. 2020 was rotten for everyone and I got burnt out at work and went on long term sick leave. GP tried me on 30 mg of Lexapro but it made no difference so I dropped back to 20. I started seeing a psychiatrist in late 2021 and he put me backup to 30 mg. Minor improvement and I’m a compliant patient. Late 2022 I stared reading about inattentive ADHD in relation to one of my daughters and realised the description fitted me to a t. I asked psych about it and he gave me a trial of dexamfetamine. I felt great and all my mood issues disappeared overnight. I forgave myself for all my “character flaws” (untidiness, lack of staying power, procrastination etc) cos they’re all just down to adhd. I cut myself back down to 20 mg of Lexapro almost immediately and it made no difference to me whatsoever. I still felt great.I stayed on that for about 6 weeks. Went back to psych and told him about my experience with dex and he upped my prescription of that and wrote me a prescription for a lower dose of Lexapro - 10 mg. So I dropped to 10 mg. First 7 days I was completely fine - getting back into yoga and mindfulness, keeping on top of my budget - fabulous. Then on about day 8, while doing yoga, I suddenly felt like I was gonna throw up and I was sweating profusely. Spent the next three days either on the sofa or in bed feeling dizzy and nauseous. My mood is still fine although I do find myself a little bit hyper vigilant. I used my time on the sofa wisely though and investigated discontinuation syndrome and came across this amazing site and realised that a drop from 20 mg to 10 was hopelessly ambitious. Even the Harvard guidelines for tapering suggest going from 20 to 15. So I’ve learned a lot in the last few days. I was so ill - just nonfunctional - that I decided to go back up. I took 20 mg yesterday to try and level myself out a bit and am planning to stick to 15 mg for a few days and see how it goes. That’s the main highlights of my antidepressant story. There are a couple of other bits that may be worth mentioning. I very briefly tried an MAOI in about 1998. Before it even had a chance to work on my mood, I took a sinus tablet and that was a disaster. Always read the label kids. I felt like I was literally going to explode both physically and mentally. Absolutely horrible. As I regularly get sinusitis and accompanying headaches, MAOIs were off my treatment plan immediately and permanently. The other thing I should mention is that a couple of times when my script has run out I’ve gone 4 days without any problems, but then suddenly on day 5, I’m irritable, weepy and get brain zaps. thanks for reading.

Hello! Here is my story: Started taking Lexapro in 2012 and it really helped me to function in life during a stressful time. Decided to go off Lexapro in 2017. It was a fast taper, and I ultimately ended up staying at 5mg. Acute withdrawal symptoms were brain zaps, agitation, anxiety but they subsided after the first month, and over the course of the next 6-8 months, I slept a lot. I planned to ultimately finish the withdrawal process in the future. October 2020, I started putting a withdrawal plan together. Instead, I ended up going CT on Nov. 1 when I had a dental surgery and infection. This was an impulsive decision and a poor one. I thought that I just needed to get through the first month and then I would be okay. November 25, 2020, I got vertigo out of the blue and fainted/threw up. I thought this might have something to do with the withdrawal, so I kind of freaked out and took 2.5mgs of Lexapro. This knocked me out for 24-48 hours (headache/body aches/dizziness) and I stayed in bed. Everything checked out okay with the Doctor and when I asked if this was related to the Lexapro withdrawal, she said no, told me to throw away the pills. I received a diagnosis of Benign Positional Vertigo and was given a maneuver to do. The dizziness cleared up, it lasted 2-3 weeks Late December, work was stressful. I didn't eat really well and ended up with hives. I was taking Benadryl on and off. I took Allegra one day. There was one night the last week of the year where I didn't sleep at all and this was strange for me. Work stress seemed to be getting to me, but I pushed through. January 4, I started what was to be a month long meditation retreat at home, but something went wrong. I wasn't sleeping well, I was pushing myself, I had a lot of fear and resistance. I was crying uncontrollably. I was spinning out. By the end of the week, I decided to stop the retreat and now I'm in a very strange place. I'm super alert, anxious, fearful, tightness in my chest and I am not sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time. I can't seem to calm down and I am not functioning well. I can't even imagine going back to work like this. Have an appointment with my Dr. tomorrow, and will try to possibly see a psychiatrist. My question - at just over 2 months out, do I try to reinstate at a very low dose of Lexapro, or should I try the sister drug Celexa (I think that is it)? I'm worried about how to present to my Doctor. I am trying to make the best of this, but am really very scared. Thank you for your time, Crochet

I am desperate for some help. My story is long, so if you read it entirely, I sincerely appreciate it. I was on SSRI's for about 18 years, since age 11. I added in wellbutrin for about the last 7 years to counteract the side effects of celexa and lexapro. Eventually I had to add in buspar because my anxiety was uncontrolled. I felt better for a while, but when it got worse, I decided to see a psychiatrist. My primary doctor had been prescribing my meds previously. The psychiatrist tried me on zoloft, lamictal, paxil, and abilify. At the end of it, I was on paxil, wellbutrin, and abilify. I had taken abilify for 10 days and had a night where I vomited 6 times; I had not vomited in about 10 years. My psychiatrist told me she felt I had serotonin syndrome and instructed me to discontinue all of my meds immediately. She gave me klonopin to get through withdrawal. I trusted her and did not know any better. I thought I would be okay. I had all of the typical withdrawal symptoms, but shortly after, started to experience new symptoms/injuries/illnesses. I started having panic attacks which I never had before. I started to have muted and painful orgasms, and then came pudendal nerve pain. I tried to reinstate antidepressants 4 months later, but they have only made me feel worse. I'm experiencing side effects I've never had before, even on AD's I've previously been on with no issues. I will attach a medication timeline and a symptom timeline. I have a new psychiatrist and he does not know how to help me except to keep trying me on medications. I'm terrified of them now, but all in the same, I know I can't stay this disabled for an indefinite amount of time. I lost my job due to dizziness/dysautonomia/swaying etc. If anyone has any advice for me, I would really appreciate it. I'm feeling very lost and alone and terrified. I saw numerous specialists who all told me I had anxiety and needed pills; not that my brain and body are injured and destabilized. As of today I am still on klonopin (0.25mg twice daily) and tapering off of lexapro 0.5mg every 4 weeks (currently at 1.5mg, experiencing withdrawal symptoms, set to decrease to 1mg on saturday 1/1/22). I cannot taper off klonopin until I'm done with the lexapro taper. April 29th- discontinued paxil (20mg) and Wellbutrin XL (150mg) May 2021- muted and painful orgasms May 2021- numbness/tingling in extremities May 2021- panic attacks started July 4, 2021- pudendal neuralgia/tailbone pain started July 2021- waves of depression started July 20, 2021- carvedilol increased from 1 q12h to 1 AM and 2 PM August 11, 2021- BPPV maneuver (half somersault)- PPPD started August 13, 2021- mouth twitching (due to Compazine) August 25, 2021- clonazepam prescribed by primary doctor August 31, 2021- jaw clenching (due to Trintellix prescribed by primary doctor) August 2021- hair falling out in clumps September 2021- dysautonomia/POTS started September 2021 (after reinstating Lexapro per psychiatrist)- RLS, migraines, tinnitus, ear ringing, constant music in my head again October 2021- rashes started October 2021- PPPD diagnosed after vestibular testing October 2021- left shoulder popping October 2021- brain fog, memory issues, trouble word recalling November 2021- muscle spasms (everywhere) November 7, 2021- left knee popping November 7, 2021- right shoulder pain November 11, 2021- right shoulder popping November 11, 2021- jaw popping November 12, 2021- cold sensation and nerve sensations coming from tailbone November 15, 2021- right shoulder pain and weakness November 16, 2021- decreased carvedilol back to 1 q12h December 9, 2021- blisters on top of hives December 10, 2021- cardiologist confirmed dysautonomia due to discontinuing antidepressants December 10, 2021- medial right knee pain December 24, 2021- pudendal neuralgia symptoms back to square one (pins and needles, burning, stabbing, hypersensitivity and severe pain) Celexa from 2003-2011 Cymbalta for 5 days in 2009- felt horrible like I was dying Celexa + Wellbutrin from 2011-2014 Lexapro + Wellbutrin from 2014- 03/2017 Lexapro + Wellbutrin + Buspar from 03/2017-2018 Lexapro + Wellbutrin + Buspar + Carvedilol (carvedilol introduced for physical forms of anxiety high BP high HR) from 2018-2020 Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Buspar + Carvedilol from Dec. 2020- Feb. 2021 Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol + Lamotrigine (lamotrigine 2 weeks) Feb. 2021- lamotrigine caused stiff neck, increased anxiety, short term memory loss, overall floaty feeling in my head Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol March 2021- zoloft helped with ocd and depression, but not anxiety Last dose of Zoloft April 1st Paxil + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol March 2021- April 2021- still had some anxiety with paxil April 15th, 2021- April 18th, 2021- trazodone 50mg April 19th-April 28th – Abilify added. On the 28th, up all night vomiting/diarrhea April 29th, 2021- discontinued meds cold turkey at Jaime Mendoza’s instruction (except carvedilol)- suspected serotonin syndrome 5/19/21-5/23/21 Seroquel (12.5mg)- made me very dizzy and I was already very dizzy from withdrawal (pre pppd) 6/22/21-6/30/21 Prozac (10mg)- heart was racing and pounding, chest hurt, increased blood pressure. Instructed to stop and see cardiologist: heart monitor and echocardiogram normal, cleared to take meds on 8/20 8/20/21- Pristiq er (50mg)- severe diarrhea, nausea, woke up at 1am having a panic attack, face green, eyes dilated, shaking, sweating and about to vomit 8/31/21-9/22/21 Trintellix (5mg)- jaw clenching, teeth clicking, brain zaps, increased dizziness, increased anxiety, nausea/vomiting, increased headaches, dry mouth, vivid and frightening dreams, increased panic attacks and pseudoseizures, itching, some blurry vision, gas, worsening depression, irritability 9/23/21-10/8/21 Lexapro (5mg)- Palpitations/pounding heart (mostly at night), Ear ringing, Tinnitus, Bad dizziness/off balance/increased 3pd, Nausea, Racing thoughts, Restlessness, restless leg syndrome 10/9/21-11/5/21 Lexapro (2.5mg) 11/6/21-12/3/21 Lexapro (2mg) 12/4/21-12/31/21 Lexapro (1.5mg) 1/1/21-1/28/22 Lexapro (1mg) 1/29/22-2/25/22 Lexapro (0.5mg)

Here is my story. As an adolescent and college student, I suffered from anxiety and in particular social anxiety. I finally sought psychiatric treatment in senior year of college (year 2014) as I also started getting major depressive symptoms and was prescribed Zoloft (at 100 mg for 7 years, then tapered to 50 mg for the remaining time I was on it; I did not take any breaks, was always on it during this time; mainly had some sexual side effects, a bit of emotional blunting, but overall really manageable from side effect standpoint, nothing major). It was highly effective at treating the physical feelings of anxiety and healed me mentally as well, slowly improving and lowering social anxiety and my depressive symptoms. In late July of 2023, while on 50mg I decided I was in a good place and found a few of the side effects annoying, and (unfortunately) self-tapered off the 50 mg (50 to 25 to 12.5 over around 6 weeks) by mid-September. As I tapered, I felt no increase in anxiety or depression (and had not been feeling these in a significant way for a long time – in fact I was the happiest I had probably ever been in my whole life, which is what prompted me to think I did not need the Zoloft any more), or any of the symptoms I took it for the in the first place, and experienced minimal ‘discontinuation’ symptoms as well. Then, about 6 weeks after stopping, in mid-November I had several things pop up at the time I did not recognize as relapse/discontinuation, but almost certainly were (GI distress, nausea, constipation) – these were separate ‘episodes’ that occurred, and there was spacing in between them. December 10 is when the true full relapse began: I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy, with chills, got bad night sleep / struggled to get back to sleep, following night at girlfriend’s had panic attack come out of nowhere- chills, shivering, feeling anxious not self, thought I was going to die- walked around and talked it out, died down in 20-30min… but for rest of night felt uneasy, struggled to sleep / got a bad night sleep. Following day woke up feeling full anxiety in chest, shoulders (adrenaline type feeling) and had racing/worrying thoughts, told primary care provider they refilled Zoloft 25 mg. I took the Zoloft 25 mg had a strong reaction (this was ~2.5 months after my last dose of 12.5mg), both positive in sense it did calm me down but with strong side effects (tingling, no libido, strange sensations (I experienced lower libido, but nothing like the strange sensations when on it before)—like an electric shock in lower body mostly, i.e., what I now know to be the ‘kindling’ effect and you can’t argue against this because human beings can’t natural produce electric shock sensations internally even as a manifestation of anxiety), deterring me from wanting to take it again, still got pretty poor sleep that night but not horrible. Did not take Zoloft Wednesday because concerned about side effects, still felt anxious / off and got poor night’s sleep again. I met with primary care thursday, at doctor’s office Thursday had a panic attack that did die down, they referred me to psychiatrist. On Friday took 12.5 mg Zoloft since they said it wouldn’t make a difference either way at that dose and felt more relaxed but again had weird side effects. The next day I started to feel weird, and took 12.5mg to take the edge off (in retrospect, not how Zoloft to be used but I was in an irrational, anxious state), made me feel calmer but still got a bad sleep. Sunday morning felt very off, like panic building so took 25 mg Zoloft initially calmer but panic attack did not stop ended up going to ER, had elevated BP/HR otherwise fine, and gave me low dose of lorazepam, talked it out, calmed down. Also trazodone for sleep, ended up sleeping very well that night for whatever reason. The next day felt a bit weird but also a bit recovered, around noon felt growing depression feeling so took 25mg Zoloft, then that night really struggled to get sleep, next morning also feeling off, had panic attack, ended up calling 911 evaluated in ambulance, just elevated HR and BP, calmed down, flew home that day (took Zoloft 25mg at noon because could feel growing depression feeling again). Had another panic attack and went to the ER one more time (this was last day I took Zoloft 25mg). I then started on my newly found psychiatrist’s (yea… unfortunately did not have one for a while) plan of 0.5mg/night clonazepam and 150mg Wellbutrin (since starting the 0.5mg clonazepam, no true panic attacks have occurred), unfortunately even with taking the Wellbutrin in the morning, I got no sleep that night (got hypnic jerks that kept me awake), told me psychiatrist, he told me to stop and we’d re-evaluate in a few days. Then following two nights no sleep, the psychiatrist kind of gave up on me, so then took a few days to find a new provider. Who started me on 5mg Lexapro (and continue 0.5mg/night clonazepam) – the main side effects were getting no sleep (down from 5-6 hours previous two nights) both nights I tried it and constipation (but other than that nothing bad). I took a break for a day and re-tried in the morning, then was able to get some sleep. Over a 5-week period, I vamped up from 5 to 7.5 to 10mg/morning Lexapro, and tapered down to 0.25mg/night clonazepam (tapered down regardless of impact on sleep because I did not want to become dependent). Since starting the Lexapro, there has been continued improvement in daily functioning, reduction in anxiety (in particular better control over thoughts), mood (continues to improve actually – in many ways getting back to old self despite being sleep deprived); I continue to feel I am approaching ‘normal’ / being myself more. However, there is still something major that is very off: I do not feel exhaustion/tiredness (OR anywhere near as much like **** as I should after a poor night’s sleep, I am also strangely am able to focus better and in a better mood than I’d be under normal circumstances) during the day (or a very limited amount of it), and continue to get poor night’s sleeps (I have not taken a single nap or dosed off at all since December 10… I even took 5mg ambien in the middle of the day (long story) and that failed to make me fall asleep). It is often challenging for me to both fall asleep, and guaranteed I will wake up at least 1-2 times throughout the night (and sometimes during these instances I cannot get back to sleep), and I can never sleep in past 7am. The worst nights are usually 1.5-2.5 hours, the better ones are in the 4.5-6 hour range (I had a streak of 0 hour sleep for 3 nights in a row after going down from .5 to .25mg Klonopin too early, then went back to 0.5mg and made taper more gradual). I have had several nights of 7-8 hour sleeps, but with only a few exceptions these have always been after taking a sleeping drug (and always the 0.25mg Klonopin as well). During the nights, I will sometimes wake up with a faster heartrate, night sweats, urinate frequently, when trying to fall asleep I have experienced minor hypnic jerks (though a lot less bad than the ones after taking the Wellbutrin) – a lot of these have admittedly declined in frequency (and some I think have been in reaction to taking certain sleep meds the night prior, e.g., Mirtazapine), but nonetheless my average amount of sleep has not improved that much, still waking up often and not getting very many hours (interestingly I also pretty much always remember my dreams). For awareness, I have tried Ambien (just 5mg) which did not work at getting me to sleep (did make me extremely drowsy though.. also felt depressed/anxious like 5-6 hours of taking it), Trazodone (25-100mg, it was effective, but started realizing it might be causing tachycardia and made me act weird in the mornings so stopped taking it), Mirtazapine (~4mg, probably the best sleep I’ve had during the whole experience slightly over 8 hours only woke up once, obviously made me extremely drowsy, but the next morning was a zombie, then in the afternoon started experiencing hypersensitivity and getting jolts of anxiety in reaction to things like dogs barking while on a walk), Lunesta (1mg – was effective 6-7 hours helped with falling and staying asleep, but did some GI distress, and felt causing some sort of mini-withdrawal since on the Klonopin / not advisable to take z-drug with benzo), and Hydroxyzine (25-75mg – this has been effective, I think become a bit less effective over time but still helpful, some side effects getting better, notable so want to avoid taking every night); for supplements I take 2mg melatonin, 300mg magnesium, vitamin D3, I try going to bed at consistent time, go on daily 30+ minute walks, employ diaphragmatic breathing, though admittedly have more to learn on sleep hygiene. All of this said, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the following (and I am going to an online forum because I have brought some of this up to supposedly highly qualified Ivy League-trained psychiatrists who won’t really know what to do). (1) Is there any possibility I did not give re-trying Zoloft a proper chance, and getting back on it at some TBD dosage is my only chance to get back to normal? When I took it initially it did feel weird, but all of the effects I’d be willing to put up with if I got back to feeling normally and being able to sleep properly again (even though as I took it later in the week I noticed most decline in intensity). Additionally I took it incorrectly, starting on a Tuesday at 25mg, then taking 12.5mg on Friday, then 12.5mg Saturday, then 25mg for just a few more days before stopping. You may think, why on earth would he get back on that he still had panic attacks on them (and yes, they were potentially worse because I took it, but I took it improperly, which likely completely threw off my brain). In comparison to Lexapro, when I first took it it did not interfere with sleep like Lexapro did (two nights in a row with no sleep, and still after 5 weeks on Lexapro I am getting poor sleep, though some components may be improving). It did have a calming effect, did have a somewhat numbing effect and made me feel better than I should have (given the overtiredness), but still that was early days and towards the end 4th day or so of using that became less the case. a. I read in some cases if you react strongly to the initial dosage that is “kindling” and does not mean the drug will not work, but just you are extra sensitive to it. My brain clearly grew dependent on Zoloft over the 9+ years I was on it and may need the drug to get back to normal. I had not taken it long enough the second time (only 4-5 days) to tell if it could properly reduce anxiety, rebalance my brain so I could sleep properly. When I was having the panic attacks while taking it, it had not been long enough to prevent them (would take weeks…), I was also not eating nearly enough (something I realized during my final ER visit when I horsed down a bunch of mediocre hospital food). b. If I were to switch I am pretty sure I’d need to cross taper with Lexapro, because going to 0 on an SSRI I don’t think would be good for me at this point, in particular combining the withdrawal with the sleep deprivation. It would probably be wise to start with a very low amount of Zoloft (like 1 mg?) to minimize any risk of Serotonin Syndrome. c. While I don’t think they take a nuanced approach, and lack a sophisticated enough understanding of SSRIs, have been advised against this by several doctors. (2) Does it make sense to stick with Lexapro, at least for several more weeks, potentially at a higher dose. I am not concerned about the constipation, but obviously if it makes sleep worse that’s a no go. I have noticed continued improvements shifts to normality while on it just not the desired improvement on sleep. In some ways I am happier on it than I was on Zoloft, but still not the sleep improvement—and sleep is huge foe me. If I were to increase the dose I would start going from 10mg to 12.5mg. My GI system seems to be improving (gets less irritated after meals, getting more of real appetite/feeling hunger) a. The recent psychiatrist I saw recommend I try increasing the dose of Lexapro and see how it goes over the next month. (3) Could it make sense to try an alternative SSRI, such as Prozac or Celexa? The key here would be getting brain back to a state where I could sleep. Or a different antidepressant class, but those are second line and known for even worse side effects. (4) Some may say the Klonopin, especially in the context of tapering, is hurting sleep (which it probably is but I doubt that severely given I have held at .25mg for 3 weeks), and right now I am still suffering from the bad sleep deprivation, have lost 15 pounds – suffering through potential benzo withdrawal might not be something I can handle now. I have no desire to ever take a dose higher than 0.25mg, and eventually 100% want off of it, preferably as soon as possible. (5) In terms of other treatment options for the insomnia, I have not yet tried Seroquel but have reservations given I already have not had the best experiences with Trazodone and Mirtazapine – if I were to try Seroquel maybe like ¼ or ½ the usual starting dose of 25mg… Would rather try one of the alternative treatments, CBD/cannabis if those really do sometimes work. a. I have heard CBT-I, ketamine infusions, psilocybin microdose, CBD, cannabis, maybe be helpful – would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these or other treatments

Hello,this is my story (sorry for my English), Currently suffering a lot and don't have a good supporting system,I feel so alone and lost and don't know if this nightmare will ever end, any help appreciated. 01/2017-12/2022 ~6 Years on Generic Lexapro (5mg-20mg) because of repeataive panic attacks and anxiety that lead to depression.No idea about withdrawal,dr just said that it will be easy to stop them just like I started them .Just I have to do it slowly when I see myself better.My tapering was not tapering as i read here ,I consider it cold turkey because of wrong directionns of docs. I went from 20mg to 5mg in a short time(4-5 month) and and then 0mg. Withdrawal symptoms: 01/23-04/23 Low mood , anxiety at times, high energy, feeling uncomfortable some times.I was feeling that something is not going very well and something is coming but no idea that was from withdrawl as I thought this poison was already out of my system as I was told by doctors. 04/23-07/23 Lot more stress and anxiety, shortness of breath, higher heart rate, balance problem showed, several panic attacks, difficulties focusing, lower productivity at work as my cognitive skills started to go down,pssd.(Thought just ws high stress and anxiety who caused this maybe need some rest ,still no idea about withdrawal.) 07/23-31/09/23 The terror just started,all the above symptoms but in much more extreme which gradually worsened(I took maca for pssd for 4 days in the beginning of 07/23 possibly worsened my symptoms or just what came was supposed to happen ).In the beginning I couldn't talk , couldn't find the easiest words tos say to complete sentences.My cognitive skills just faded away (I was able to understand that because I used to be a good student at uni so I had great pc skills and was a smart guy high grades ) but my mind just stopped to cooperate.All of this gave me a lot ,a lot of stress I thought I was going insane and I just couldn't accept this.I stopped my work temporary for a month because I thought I need some rest because of anxiety i had and I just needed some rest but the worse was coming.My balance problems worsned a lot more ,and just one day I started to have a headache in back of my head ,It was like someone was burning my brain inside.Then everything went worse i started to have headaches in every part of my head , sometimes feel like there is missing part of my brain ,and i feel that parts of my brain are missing sometimes,Very sensitive to louds and sounds in general cand handle everyday sounds I feel paralyzed ,not able to communicate for a long time or focusing in the words someone says ro me because headache starts and just cant handle (it is like it triggers stressors and if i continue to hear or focus in conversations after the pain this goes me to a panic attack )The same happens if i see a vidio for lot of minutes ,feell like my brain is very sensitive maybe due to the fact that i had so much stress about what was happening.I found about this group accidentally as I was in 2psy docs who suggested that i had relapsing and wante ro give me cocktail of other drugs . I suspected that and started the searching on internet.In the beginning i found a group of pssd because this is a problem I have since my CT,and wanted to know about these other drugs they prescribed me ,then I saw @pugsuccess story which lead me to this amazing forum.And reading here about symptoms and everything about withdrawals things started to make sense ,but I was in shock (I found SA0 12/09/23).I didn't started to get these drugs they prescribed me but Im suffering a lot these days.Worth to mention that when my headache started I had a lot of pain on my brain (I thought I was going insane minute to minute )and I wa unable to tolerate it.My family went me In ER and they gave me sth no idea what it was however they told me to take Lyrica(pregbalin) and see how things will go.I took lyrica next day (50mg) and it helped me a lot to be honest my pain reduced and since then I continue it ,but im afraid as it is also addictive and dont know really in this moment it helps or puts more fuel to the fire,but im afraid to take it off because the terror I saw when i went in ER was out of this world.I don't work anymore as I am not able to concentrate on pc and my cognitive impairment is very low . I live with my family this moment as not able to take care by myself but they don't understand me they think that everything is just in my head and they expectthis to pass day by day putting some sort of pressure on me ,also my friends dont understand me,thay just have not ever heard about everything i say so doesn't make sanse ,Im not not able to seee them a lot because I cant handle conversation for lots o minutes with pepople it trigers me that pain in my head .I don't know what to do anymore,I cant go back to ssri the stole my feelings for years ,but im suffering a lot now and 2 month ( 9 months off srri).Apart from the fact that i dont function normally because of my brain I also have lots of stress daily which also cause high heart rate . My worts days are usually I'm bedridden and just a step away to go in ER(lot of pain inside in my soul like is screaming so loudly but only me can hear it , fatigue,not able to communicate, sensitive to light and sound,and dont know if i will make next hour or not).It goes after 6-7 hours some times takes all day and night but freaks me out.Some moments of the day I feel ok but ar less than the waves. My sleep is (4-5 hours per night) except from some days that I was no able to sleep at all .Try to eat 3xday even though some days i don't have appetite.Exerxice whenever Im able and not beddriden usually (30 -50min biking ride or walking/jogging ~8000steps )5/7 days a week . Im trying to fight this but in we deepest waves i feel so bad ,so weak and not imaggine to tolerate this for much time .I don't know if anything i said makes any sense because my symptoms are a little different from others with lexapro.I just want to ask the moderators if is a good idea to continue with lyrica or not? And what is the best thing to do when acute withdrawal hits because I cannot know if there will be strongers acute waves than these who passed just in case to be prepared.Would be a good idea any benzo or any other way either way? Any support and suggestions appreciated. #Thank you for reading my story.🙂

Hi guys I tapered Cipralex 10mg to 0.00625mg over 2 years, Everything goes nice until I smoke weed which I thought is a medicine to heal, From that day onwards I got Akathisia then healed after 10 months and I got depression, Awful Mornings, Insomnia, Racing Thoughts, Fear of abandoned, Visual Snow, feels like always high. I got Patterns like Awful Mornings and Depressive Evenings. Note. I takes Propranolol 5mg for Akathisia and I still continue the med, If I Stop the med my feel like always high become worse and Heart palpitate, But Most of Symptoms heals day by day Thank God for Healing me. But I can't tolerate somes supplement like fish oil which could tolerate in Cipralex taper. I can't even tolerate Pepper in food. I introduce myself what are the things I do and I don't in me.

( mod note, mmt) Ewa's Introduction topic is here: Ewa;Cymbalta 60 mg coldturkey My name is Ewa, I’m 49 years young and I have recovered from the voyage to hell that was initiated by cold turkey from 20 years of antidepressants use. In the title SHE is my daughter (now 12 years old) my first and main reason to stay here, second is my husband Eric who was my caregiver and was there for me unwaveringly, third information about withdrawal from this website (was my first website I found when looking for answers) and others like it, success stories of people who came through victorious, and relentless search for truth. On February 2018 I cold turkey from 60mg of Cymbalta (December 2017 I turned 44 years old) almost instantly I was in altered state of consciousness (in medical community labeled as mania, I dislike their terminology but I will use it here in parenthesis) had out of body experiences and visions (not hallucinations) one of them was my mothers trauma I didn’t know about. I was in trans like state very euphoric, didn’t need much sleep, had diarrhea for about one month, metallic taste in my mouth, could not eat meat and other foods. I was functioning but in different way. Gradually I was coming down from euphoria, it took 8 months and one day it was clear to me that I was very much different in past months (I had that awareness during but was not afraid of it) also I started to feel internal vibration that I thought was anxiety (never had anxiety before in my life). In the end of August 2018 I went back on 60 mg Cymbalta plus 0.5 mg Ativan (first time in my life I was put on benzodiazepine), two weeks into being back on drugs I became suicidal. Every two months I was in hospital changed the antidepressant Ativan stayed the same 0.5 mg twice a day or as needed. My condition was worsening and in January 2019 I did ketamine which put me further down the hell. By this time my diagnosis changed from depression (my original sign 😉) to treatment resistant depression, all they have left for me was ECT, I had 8 sessions in total and after last one as I was walking out of hospital (for my last two sessions I was outpatient, for so called maintenance sessions) I heard just a whisper of my own soul “Ewa you have to find your own way out of here, if you stay,there will be no coming back”, by this time I was a shell of my former self, a mare shadow of a human being, that upon waking from last ECT had to guess what year it was, I was successful in this but the president of USA in 2019 was still Obama.As soon as I got home I went on internet and found this website, my search for my own way out of hell has begun. At that time I was on Zoloft and Ativan, I decided to cold turkey again (two months taper) and in May 2019 my drug free life has begun. The level of suffering has intensified greatly and stayed the same for two years. I did not have windows not even one. I had severe insomnia, slept 2 or 3 or 0 hours, anhedonia, depersonalization, déréalisation, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation and urges, memory loss, cognition loss, complete loss of appetite, my GI was twisting and burning, I forced myself to eat and it was two bites at the time, I didn’t shower for weeks only when I was on my period (I never lost my menstruations still have it now), all consuming terror was always there, didn’t brush my teeth (had to have 3 crowns last year), I had light sensitivity sunny days in summer where extra torture, sounds sensitivity (I love music but in that state was torture), my whole body was stiff like I was log of wood very hard wood. Adrenaline rushes like toxic waves through my body, Agoraphobia ( was mostly bad bound), apathy, confusion, crying it was more wailing like a caged animal I became. Inner trembling, lethargy, complete loss of libido, during my very short sleep I manage to have nightmares. Tinnitus was not severe and it went away after about one year. January 3 2020 I wrote this “All I want is to be able to be a mother and wife again ! I love Chloe and Eric so much” at that time I had all the symptoms I listed above. Also I have to add that during my altered state of consciousness (mania) April 2018 I had breast lift surgery(it was scheduled in 2017), day after walking up the stairs I heard myself saying “it is not normal to cut healthy body” , this procedure so accepted and even praised by our sick society is a band aid in form of self mutation to secure love and approval of others behind which is a very deep pain. I had infection and was put on very strong antibiotics, further destroying my got. (I have to go to my appointment now second part of my root canal treatment, I will continue later on today, I will submit this now because I don’t know how to save this and don’t want to loose it 😊) Thank you to my father Jan whom I love deeply, it was from his life journey and strength I drew inspiration to go on.

Hi all, been tapering for 10 months, here's the breakdown: Prozac 20mg 2012-2014off for two yearsProzac 20mg 2016Switched to Lexapro 10mg 2017 as Prozac wasn't available in the country I moved toOct 2021 – started tapering Lexapro – 10 mg to 5 mgDec 2021 – 5 mg to 2.5 mgJan 2022 – reinstated to 5 mg as I was feeling very uncomfortableFeb 2022 – 4 mg liquid lexaproMarch 2022 – 3.5 mg liquid lexaproCurrent: HOLDING. Have been holding current dose of 3.5 mg for almost 6 months with NO plans to lower at all for a while. Was recently hit a few days ago with a big anx attack. Think it's life stuff: job loss two months ago, father diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, and also trying to start a business the last few months. So it's a lot. Have been learning a lot about Nervous System regulation from Irene Lyon and somatic healing (healing through the body, releasing trauma/building capacity). I've still been feeling deep, deep feelings in the body of wild discomfort. SO I just wanted to reach out. My prayer is that I didn't taper too fast... I realize NOW that I did and didn't do the 10% taper SA recommends (I did NOT know about it at that time). But I've been holding 3.5mg for nearly 6 months and seems just now so much in my body has come to a head. A sort of explosion I guess Would be very very grateful for any insight. Thank you!!

Hi Everyone, Sorry about any misspellings or rambling/fragmented sentences. I'm in the middle of a wave of high anxiety with severe insomnia. I figured it was time to give this a shot. I've been on and off Lexapro since 2014, mostly on. I had never taken a medication my whole life, barely took headache meds. Very active my whole life. I had flare ups of anxiety since I was a young child but I never knew what it was and just powered through. I'd always distract myself by working out, running, video games, etc. In 2012 my four year old son was having a lot of health issues and the doctors had him going through a lot of tests. This went on for over a year. My wife was scared, my son was scared, I was terrified. The cancer word was being thrown around. I was a ball of nerves, I couldn't outrun the anxiety this time. Our GP suggested I try an AD. I wasn't sure but my family really pushed me to try it as a crutch. I started taking Zoloft in March 2014 and I took it for 3 months. It made me insanely tired. I stopped working out and I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I wasn't anxious but I wasn't happy so I talked to my GP and he said I could just stop. I CT'd and got some minor brain zaps but nothing too bad. About a month later I had a full blown panic attack in Target, my first ever panic attack. It absolutely floored me. Then I had another panic attack a few weeks after that. I went to the hospital, got checked out and was told talk to my GP and see a psych. GP said you didn't like Zoloft, try Effexor. Also was told this was my mental illness progressing and now I would need this meds. I took Effexor that night and after about 3 hours I had worse anxiety I've ever had. Called GP practice, they said keep taking. I took it 3 more days and had to leave work and go to the hospital. I was in terrible shape with extremely high blood pressure and manic. I went inpatient where I saw a psych doc who put me on Lexapro 20mg and Klonopin 1 mg a day. I got out a week later and was allowed to work from home. I ended up back at work 2 months later after I started to feel better. I wasn't great but I could deal. You know the deal. Better more days than not. I started to gain weight, I stopped exercising, and I stopped socializing with family and friends. In July 2016 I started a taper. I went down 5mg a month and jumped in Oct 2016. I had a bad two weeks after every drop but got through. In January 2017, 3 months after I jumped off Lexapro, I started to get bad anxiety again. I was still on the Klonopin, now 1.5mg a day. It didn't help. My psych believed this was not withdrawal but my symptoms coming out again. She put me on Prozac and I had another bad reaction. Three days in I started having panic attacks and I ended up with insomnia for a month. I ended up back in the hospital where they put me back on Lexapro 20mg. I ended up getting more out of shape and lethargic. My BP, Cholesteral, and Sugar were up. I started CBT and pushed myself to exercise. I could not lose weight. I ended up finding a psych doc in my area that is great at tapering off benzos. So I joined a Benzo recovery discord and became active on Benzo Buddies. I tapered off 1.5 mg of Klonopin from December 2018 to December 2019. Actually took my last dose on Xmas eve. Coming of the benzo was terrible but I did it. It was a long terrible year. Next I turned my attention to the Lexapro and my psych doc got me liquid and I went down 1 mg every week from February 2020 to August 2020. When I jumped in August I had about 2 weeks of pretty bad symptoms but they resided over time. I was doing really well, very active and getting good rest. All of sudden I woke up insanely anxious last Thursday and it's been that way since. I'm having insomnia, insane anxiety, not hungry, face flushed, gastro issues and constant fight or flight. Just coming here for some type of support.

Hi I withdraw Lexapro for 1 year completely facing unbearable withdrawals and again started for 6 months slowly tapered to 5 and was on 2.5 for 1 year and again quit for 5 months .. crashed very badly again and now reinstated 5 mg for 1 month .. when will my symptoms improve .. and is there anyone who really quit this hell and leading their life again .. PKEASE PKEASE OKEASE HELP ME

zoloft 1974-1997. Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mg XL?. lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-2023. Went off lexapro with 1/4 tablet taper over one month. Then D/Ced vyvanse over 4 days. Rough 2.5 months; emotionally labile and feeling bad; hit the wall fatigue. Some improvement most weeks. Started to realize the siege was too painful to sit through. 10 weeks after D/C re-instated ¼ tab [1.25mg] lexapro. Return to OK, but major memory and learning deficits. My prescribing MD could only offer returning to 5mg lexapro and given the breadth of new symptoms, he named new diagnoses, foresaw additional new medication, also planned to refer me to local MDs doing Ketamine therapy. Only at this point did I start to educate myself and find out about anti-depressant withdrawal syndrome. From Inner Compass to an armlong list of scholarly articles. I for some reason I could not figure out how to get started on this site, and my initial posting of this history sat on the side. I stabilized, and though fragile, after about a month, began a successful slow taper 5% every two weeks. Felt better as time passed. Around 1.05mg, had two weeks of low-grade anxiety and then sudden full blown withdrawal symptoms recurred. Holiday stress and darkness? though light therapy did not help at all. Doing meditation, daily exercise without improvement. Using all psychic energy I could muster to get through the days. Increasing dose by 5% approx. every 3 days did not help. Tried using AM and then multiple daily doses to treat symptoms, given the pharmacology of lexapro. Up to 3+mg without reliable or full relief. Trial of 2.5mg was suggested; blew my head off, could not think, overstimulated, until about 2-3PM. Reached out everywhere online and local MD. A kind person on the Inner Compass site gave some support, and I landed on a dose of 2mg. where I have again stabilized. Multiple psychiatrists did not have knowledge, and one labelled my insistence on the withdrawal symptoms as psychotic. Still fragile and looking for a local guide in SF Bay Area going forward. Forcing myself to post since I cannot find a way to otherwise contact Altostrata directly. I am happy to share my experience going forward, but my priority at the moment is finding local in-person support for this withdrawal process. I am a woman in her mid-seventies. drug signature: zoloft 1974-1997 Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mgXL? Lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-June 2023. lexapro 1.25mg to 1.05mg using q 2 week 5% taper Aug-December 2023 lexapro 1.2mg-3.8mg [divided] Dec 2023-Jan 2024 Lexapro 2mg Jan 2024-

Hello everyone- my story began in early April when coronavirus was just shutting everything down. The quick story is I have a history of anxiety that I managed with exercise(gym)and diet, etc. When everything shut down, my anxiety went through the rough and my coping mechanisms were all hampered. I had a panic attack. My sleep was suffering. A good friend is a pcp and I reached out to her on a Saturday (April18) for help and she started me on Zoloft 100mg and buspar 10mg 2 x a day. My initial 2 days of buspar were actually only 5 mg total per day. At her request, I followed up with my pcp that Monday April 20. This PCP was new to me as mine had retired. Anyway, my sleep actually got worse when I started the meds. My PCP added trazadone 50mg as needed To help with sleep. I took that on april 20 but it did nothing so I called my new pcp on Tuesday April 21. I told her what happened and I asked could the Zoloft be affecting my sleep? I told her I had taken it at night and maybe that was the issue. Her answer was probably not and I needed to relax. She switched me to lexapro at that point. So I started 5 mg of lexapro April 22nd. she also added ambien. I took ambien for 3 nights total. I also tried trazadone maybe 2 more times as well in April. i switched my care to a psych NP as I thought it made sense. Starting in May 1st I was upped to 10 mg of lexapro. It was in May I started to think the meds were the root of my sleep issue. I was having a completely different sleep pattern than when I started the meds. Before meds it was more I couldn’t fall asleep. After meds it was I could stay asleep and it was very light sleep. So decided to taper off buspar for about a week where I took 5 mg 2x a day. I finished taking it on May 27. June 1 I asked my psych NP to come off the lexapro. He recommended I cut down to 5 mg. I did this for 2.5 weeks and at that appointment my psych NP told me I could stop. I decided to cut down to 2.5 mg for 1 week and then 1.25 for 9 days. I came off on July 4. April 18-Zoloft 100mg and 20 mg buspar April 20- trazadone 50mg April 21 - change to ambien 2.5 mg April 22- started lexapro 5 in place of zoloft April 25- stopped ambien April 27,28- tried trazadone 50 mg But stopped May 1- Lexapro 10 mg May 18- buspar reduced to 5 mg 2 x a day May 27- stopped buspar June 1- lexapro reduced to 5 mg June 3-5- trazadone - when I realized it was an SSRI I stopped. June 18- lexapro 2.5 mg June 25 - lexapro 1.25 mg July 4 - off My current withdrawal pattern seems to have windows and waves. My sleep quality seems better but duration fluctuates. Typically I sleep 4-5 hours then have a hard time falling asleep. Occasionally I have fallen back to sleep and I’ll get 7-8 hours total which is encouraging. I was having nightmares, vivid dreams and some very light sleep but that seems better. I’ve had some days with depression, anxiety, joint pains, brain fog, memory issues, ruminating thoughts, GI issues, weakness and fatigue. Things seem to fluctuate. Yesterday was a good day. I felt tired but almost normal. Today not so much. So I’m thinking waves and windows? Supplements: omega 3 1000 mg 3x a day magnesium glycinate 400-600 mg melatonin 1 mg vitamin C 1000 mg probiotics i walk 4-5 miles per day. any thoughts? thanks!

I started Escitalopram 5mg for around 2 weeks everything was fine, didn’t have any issues. I was bumped up to 10mg around the 2 week mark and a couple days later i had numbness and burning on my forearm so I decided to quit cold turkey. I was fine for over a month but then i started to see withdrawals. I have a loss of touch and i have full body numbness, especially and night if i stay still might entire body will tingle and be completely numb. It’s been around 3 months now since i took my last dose and im not sure what sure what if i should reinstate the drug or just see if it eventually goes away. I just don’t know what to do

Hi I’m joeindians, I’m a 38 year old male that weighs around 200 lbs and about 12 years ago I “hurt” myself with an accident that messed up my fascia tissue in my lower abdominals/ pelvis. This has caused me great distress for my sleep because I wake up 4 times a night to pee. It has also caused me great anxiety. In March of 21’ I was prescribed lexapro 10 mg. The first few days were rough because of the depersonalization effects but after it was gone, things were incredibly better. Then about in early June ‘21, I became extremely fatigued. I went to the dr and they did all the sleep studies/ vitamin studies and found only a slight apnea thing which didn’t explain that I felt extremely tired after I took lexapro. Fearing for my anxiety coming, I continued to take lexapro until December when I decided it was enough. I used a nail filerer to file small amounts of lexapro 10 mg everyday from dec 30-Jan 25. I’m still experiencing chronic fatigue everyday, along with brain zaps, vivid dreams and constant ringing in my ears. I sleep about 9 hours a night and I am still exhausted. And I still wake up to pee 4-5 times a night. Life really sux right now. How long should these withdrawals last? I know it’s a hard question to get answered but I’ve been only on the drug for about 10 months even though the bad effects took place only 3 months into taking the drug. anyway, the only thing that kinda helps is my faith and my deep yogic breathing I do everyday. thank you 🙏 0.0 lexapro

I have waited a long time to post this. Am unused to confiding personal stuff, have difficulty connecting with people and also my memory of things is muddled. This is a truncated version of my experience with anti-depressants (AD) over 6 years plus currently 2 and half years of withdrawal. Beginning Started experiencing debilitating anxiety and depression in my late teens. I found myself becoming a recluse in my thirties. For a few years I went weeks without venturing out of the house. When I did, I got out in the early hours to get some exercise. And that was it. During this time an unfortunate incident happened and I came into possession of Lexapro which was prescribed for someone else and one day I started taking it. In short, Lexapro saved me. I felt different. I managed to go out to places I normally hate/fear. I didn't feel anxious when I was around people. It was a miraculous thing. I felt calm. I could concentrate. I could be at ease. I could do things for myself and my family again. I could live life again. During my years on Lexapro I still experienced some periods of depression, anxiety and anhedonia though it's not on the same level as before meds and after it. Even though it seems the beneficial effects became weaker overtime, overall Lexapro worked well for me. I don't regret taking it and if given a choice to go back in time I would still have taken it as there was just no way out. Decision to stop Since I had improved I felt there was hope that I could live without it. I weighed the pros and cons of continuing on this med. I worried about the instability of my sources and the possible side effects of continuing long term. I mentioned I wasn't prescribed them so I bought more from online pharmacies. You may wonder why I did not go the formal way instead. I have issues with seeking help and with people in general. If I could do it by myself I would. Only my partner knows about my condition. I tried a few times to stop but finally succeeded on my last try at end of 2020. Maintained an erratic approach to tapering. Besides tapering dosages I used methods like alternate days and going without till withdrawal symptoms start showing. I jumped off at 1.25mg as it was the smallest dosage I could feasibly obtain (I now know there's a way to obtain even smaller dosages from this board). In estimate I really tapered off in a few months time. Withdrawal Emotional aspects are the hardest to bear. Beginning I felt a lot of anger and irritation. Sudden bouts of rage or getting extremely emotional and teary. Daily sudden waking with a lot of anxiety or waking up and experiencing dystalgia. Constantly feeling tired, stressed out and overwhelmed. Constantly on the edge of breaking down. For periods I would experience depersonalisation-derealisation and persistent dystalgia (a term invented on this board on obsessing about the passage of time and the past). I find myself obsessing over things and thoughts which were easier to let go of when I was on AD. Also obsessed with issues of death, mortality and suicide. I still experience all these in phases currently and had been constantly down in 2022/23 with weeks long of deep depression and despair. There's the constant uncertainty and doubt, especially so during a wave, which is often. Is it a relapse? Can I really overcome the withdrawal? How long is this going to go on? Will I ever heal? Why am I putting myself through this? Whenever I get really bad I start wondering about going back on. The idea of having to one day go through withdrawal all over again stops me fantasising about this option. The other option is to stay on it forever which I just can't see myself in. Another thing that adds to the uncertainty is I don't really have an old functioning image of myself to fall-back on. I can't go back to the old me. Physical symptoms Worsening eyesight, being unable to focus on near objects (could be because I am getting older but the development coincided with my withdrawal), halo effect around light sources, blurry eyes, light sensitivity and worsened night vision. More than half of my hair had turned grey to this ordeal (people had commented on this). Nerve pain in the left hip that mostly went away followed now by stiff and painful neck. I still experience random mild brain zaps though infrequently. Recent months developed constant tinnitus which I think is due to the overwhelming stress withdrawal has on my mind and body and is an added agony. I feel easily tired and overwhelmed. I am devastated by what is happening to me. I feel like I have aged 10 years in these 2 years of withdrawal with no end in sight. Brain fog, unable to concentrate and think and erratic moods have seriously impacted my ability to function. I am struggling almost everyday to do even simple things. In my messed up mind I feel like this is a manifestation of "there's no free lunch ever". The suffering and damage I am experiencing now is payback for the good Lexapro had brought me. I just hope that 6 good years will not translate into an equivalent of 6 years of agony. Though what I have typed above are mostly bleak, there are times when I am better. My mood varies throughout the day. It's true that when we are in a wave we feel we have always been like this and will always stay like this. I try to remind myself of this. That things can change and they will change. I feel my symptoms had somewhat stabilised. Most days my struggle is with depression, anxiety, restlessness, feeling lost, becoming overwhelmed and fatigued easily. I have found a lot of reassurance in this forum knowing that I am not alone in what I am going through and seeing others give names and descriptions to what I am experiencing. Much thanks to everyone here. ----------------- During my period on Lexapro I experimented with other psych drugs (Celexa, Fluvoxamine, Bupropion) for short periods. None of them had the same effect as Lexapro and I had no problem getting off them. I also used Prozac (sporadically to help cushion withdrawal symptoms) and St John's wort (March-April 2021) to help me wean off Supplements I take (not regularly) - fish oil, inositol (in small doses as it causes GI issues), magnesium, lutein, iron, Vit b complex, Sam-e. Supplements I have tried - 5-htp, L-theanine, Gaba, L-tyrosine, Ashwagandha. For me the ideal is not having to take any supplements at all. ----------------- Things I do to help myself I try to meditate and do MBCT (mindfulness based cognitive therapy) combined with TDCS/TACS (Transcranial direct current stimulation/ Transcranial alternating current stimulation) but hasn't been consistent due to periods of deep depression where basic things like getting up and self hygiene is impossible. It's a tedious cycle of falling off the wagon and having to climb back on, over and over. TDCS seemed to help at the very beginning. Meditation seems beneficial whenever I am able to get to it but it needs to be practised long term consistently to see any real changes. Whenever I fall into a depressive cycle (can happen anytime and without triggers) I haven't found anything that can really pull me out or shorten the cycle or ideally prevent me from falling into it in the first place. I try with supplements that are recommended like fish oil and magnesium but don't know if they help. I try to do things like walk or cycle when I am better. I don't follow any specific diets. I take alcohol sometimes when it gets too much to help with situation that elicits stress and anxiety. I know this is frowned upon here but it's something to help myself cope. Otherwise I stay away from alcohol. Additional note on alcohol: when I was taking Lexapro I drank more often. And It seems alcohol has a different effect on me now. -------------------- What I need I need to develop new skills that can help me cope with life stresses. Life only gets harder as I get older. I am pretty critical of myself and I need to show myself more compassion and forgiveness and not be so serious about this life. I also need to be more consistent in my efforts to help myself and in the supplements I take. I tend to shift and change my mind often and quickly. -------------------- About my eyesight Went for a check-up as I experienced halo around light sources pretty significantly a few months deep into withdrawal. The optometrist mentioned the optic nerve was slightly enlarged and asked me about familial history for glaucoma but with more tests she confirmed my eyes were fine. I know that there are studies showing SSRIs may affect vision.

Hi, I'm Rose, I'm 27, and I'm terrified I'm losing my mind. I'm a little confused on how to write my signature, but I'll add it once I figure out how to do so. I've read many posts, which have helped me come to terms with my situation to an extent, or, at least, they've helped me understand my situation. I was on Lexapro from mid 2020 until about May this year for depression, that I didn't realise was being caused by withdrawal from paroxetine, seeing as I'd recovered from my more severe withdrawal symptoms. Upon ceasing Lexapro I was okay, but 2 weeks later everything went to hell. My taper had been too fast, I understand that now (and I really should have already known not to taper so fast as I previously stopped paroxetine essentially cold turkey and experienced a living hell), but I hadn't experienced any symptoms while tapering from 10mg to 5mg to 5mg every second day so I stupidly thought I should just stop. Obviously, that was a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Everything fell apart and I reinstated 5mg of Lexapro in mid May, but then I did something even dumber. After being on 5mg for 6 weeks or so I still felt terrible, so I decided that I should just go down to 2.5mg because I was desperate and just wanted the drug out of my system. I was okay for a week or so, but then 5 days ago it felt like a switch flicked in my brain and I went further down hill. My short term memory has become worse, my anxiety is sky high, I feel as if I'm seeing things in my peripheral vision/misinterpreting what actually is in my peripheral vision, I'm confused almost half the day, my heart is racing, it's difficult to stay asleep, I have visual hypnagogic hallucinations, as well as distressing vivid dreams where I feel like I'm going insane (which is making me scared to sleep). I feel like I'm half disassociated/derealised most of the time, like everything feels off and unreal, and everything is overstimulating/my brain seems to not be able to process the external stimuli it's receiving correctly, e.g. someone turns a page of a magazine and my brain interprets it as a train going by. But what's scaring me the most is that everybody's face seems sinister and terrifying; their expression isn't changing or anything but my brain is interpreting it as a threat. I can't tell if this is a symptom that has become worse because of anxiety, as in because I'm aware of the symptom it's now happening almost constantly, or if it's actually happening almost constantly. I can't put into words how horrible this symptom is. When I'm at my most logical, I begin to think my constant anxiety and my distressed nervous system is causing me to believe everything and everybody is a threat, but even then I'm still not sure. Weirdly enough, I have seen an improvement in the fatigue I was experiencing, and my ability to write and put my thoughts into words, so that's something, I guess. Aside from support and comfort, I'm also searching for some advice. I was wondering if I should go back up to 5mg or increase my dose slightly to maybe 3mg or 3.5 or some other dose, just to sooth my nervous system, or, because I've been on and off and on the drug and then tapered too fast twice, if it's not wise to increase the dose once again, and that I should let my brain regulate itself. I'd appreciate any response as I'm really quite desperate and terrified that I'm losing my grip on reality. I forgot to add that I'm taking Omega 3 once a day, and have been prescribed 2mg melatonin to help with sleep, and have 5mg valium and 10mg propranolol that I do not take often, only when I'm at my worst. I don't want to become dependant on either drug and want to allow my nervous system to heal naturally.

Have been on antidepressants since 1990s. I would go to my PCP and tell them what I wanted to try next. Over the years I have been on prozac, paxil, and now the cocktail I want to taper from. Tried to taper in past but gave up quickly thinking there would be a better time. And May 2019 was it. Started to taper from wellbutrin and lexapro ‘cocktail’ under guidance of PCP. She put me on a 2 year taper. In March was down to 150 mg wellbutrin every 4 days. Crashed with current homebound routine. So she suggested I go to every 3 days and wait for the pandemic to ease up before resuming taper. Is it possible after all these years to actually be drug free? Are there any psychiatrists who know about tapering? Ive read allot about the tapering strips. Any psychiatrists willing to prescribe? I want off these meds...but the road sure is daunting at times. Any words of encouragement welcomed.