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Hello all, I started Lexapro in November, 2012 after a 2 month sleep crisis and, as a result, long anxiety attacks for many day (no drugs or psych illness history prior to that). Have been taking 10 mg, and had no side effects, felt rather well. I decided to stop the pills this June (my NP said I could stop any time I wanted; of course, I did not find this site prior to doing so). I took 5 mg for probably 15 days, felt no difference at all, and stopped all together around June 20th. Was feeling okay up until August 20th when I stopped sleeping all together, and in 3 days started having severe suicidal thoughts. I was able to see a psychiatrist on campus (I do not have a GP as I am a foreign student) on August 25th, and she put me back on 10 mg Lexapro and 0.5-1 mg Klonopin. Well, when I took the pills at those doses my anxiety got even worse (I could not imagine it was possible). But then I did not know that I should have started reinstating with 1 mg (read it on SA later). Of course, I did not sleep. I felt crazy and panicky, had non-stop anxiety attacks, did some completely irrational things. On August 30th, I went back on campus to see another psychiatrist. This one seemed to be much more pleasant, less judgmental, understanding and open to what I had to say. Well, he said to decrease Lexapro to 5 mg (just for 2 weeks to decrease the side effects), and gave me Trazodone (50 mg calling it a baby dose). I didn't read on it back then (my doctor said it was non-habit forming and it was enough for me to relax and not do my research), and it seemed to help somewhat at first. I still would get very broken sleep (10/10:30 pm - 3:30 am, then up every 20/40 mins, listen to a meditation YouTube video, then dose off for 30 mins, and that would happen until around 5/6 am). However, I felt slightly better, especially compared to the peak of the crisis on August 20-30, so I figured I was healing. Little did I know. My sleep kept being very broken on Trazodone. About 2 weeks ago I started looking it up, saw all the disastrous info on it on SA (I know how much Alto despises it) and other websites and completely freaked out. It might somehow contributed to the drug's having stopped working as a sleeping aid all together. Now its 10/2/2016, I have barely slept since 8/20/2016, I'm on 5 mg of Lexapro and 25 mg of Trazodone (went down from 50 mg on 9/25/16 - did not notice any difference), and I am nowhere close to stabilizing. The symptoms I have are terrible insomnia, severe anxiety, fatigue, desperation, and terrible dark thoughts.I do not think I can take it any longer. I really want to get off Trazodone (I know you saying 10% off every 2-3 months, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to pull it off). I am absolutely alone in country (I don't have family, have some friends but no one even remotely close to talk about AD's withdrawal, reinstating, stabilizing and all that). Should I keep 5 mg Lex in hope to stabilize? Again, one of the reasons I do not want to increase it as it'll be easier to taper from 5mg. Can I rely on it for sleep when it finally starts working? Can I quit Trazodone? [Also, from Traz I have really nasty palm sweats.. Anything I touch with my hands gets soaking wet instantly.. ] I hate the idea of any psych drugs, but Trazodone appears to be my worst enemy as it's been added so recently, so harmful and does not help. I've been on it for only 30 days now, I still barely sleep and am terrified and desperate. I wanted to switch Traz to Remeron (7.5 mg) 2 weeks ago but freaked out (due to the other people's reviews on how it affects appetite, hormones, weight gain, etc.). Can I do it now? I know that keeping switching pills is the worst one can do but since 50 mg of Traz did not help anyway.. And if I stabilize on Remeron, it'd much easier to taper from 7.5 mg vs. 25 mg of Traz. You all talk a lot about meditation, mindfulness, yoga, healthy eating. I was doing most of it while being on Lex and feeling well, but now I just can't anymore. I need to feel better to get back to any of those tools. I am an absolute mess right now. Please, advise. I really don't have anyone else to turn to.

This is really more like a side-effect from taking SSRIs rather than the symptom of WD itself, but some of those who are still on drugs and are getting ready for tapering may find it really helpful. Weight gain While on drugs my body weight went up by about 55-60 pounds. I was able to get rid of it thanks to lowering my carbs intake. What worked in your case? Interestingly, no amount of physical exercise was enough in my case to help lose weight - the whole endocrine system, metabolism, and what not, was so much out of whack, that even running three marathons a day wouldn't do a thing.

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

Hello all, In 2009 I had an adverse reaction to only 4 pills of Lexapro (Escitalopram) which took me around 4.5 years to recover from. My road was a very bumpy one as I had lots of waves, so it was very difficult for me to see where I was in the recovery process. And though it took a lot of time to really feel recovered, in the end I did. So to everyone who is still in the thick of it, keep on going and remind yourself that even if you do not feel well at the moment, the next big recovery step can be right around the corner. I cannot recount how often I was about to lose hope when the next bad wave struck and I thought that this is my life now. But it isn't. I wish you all a steady recovery. As hard as it may seem now, it will get better eventually! All the best, Maybe

Hello, I'm a 34F and I'm here because I saw this site recommended on a piece done by the BBC called The Anti-Depressant Story. A lot of what I heard in that documentary was an eye opener and validating. I have experienced the negative effects of withdrawal, and also the negative effects of long term Lexapro use. I'm over it and my goal is to one day be 100% anti-depressant free. Like many I was promised time and again that I would be on anti-depressants for a short time, psychology would really help, and I could stop easily. I'm also here because I recently had a very bad experience dropping from 20mg Lexapro to 15mg for 2 weeks then 10mg for 4 weeks which lead to me feeling suicidal and broken. Here is my background to give all this some context: ~2007 or 2008 diagnosed with depression started Lovan (fluoxetine) unsure of dose and timeframe. Stopped cold turkey. Probably started up again during the early 2010's but I can't remember much of the details or my life during this time. ~2015 - Started Lexapro again at 10mg due to depression/ toxic relationship. I recall going up to 20mg before 2018. 2018 - Felt like 20mg Lexapro wasn't working anymore so my doctor at the time had me drop down the Lexapro to try Fluoxetine and then when that didn't work to Sertraline and when that didn't work I went back to Lexapro 10mg which stabilised me. During that time of transition the doctor recommended the 'standard' drop down of around 2 to 4 weeks of one medication, stopping completely if needed, then starting a new one. Rinse and repeat. Sertraline and Fluoxetine didn't help, and during the whole time I my mood was low, irritable, snappy, crying, hopeless etc. At the worst I was trembling and full of energy that I would yell and tremble to release my pent up energy, while at the same time also being exhausted. It was a horrible experience. For context I was having a hard time at work and was going through some major life events. 2019-September 2022: 10mg Lexapro. Other things of note: September 2021 - Bells Palsy with post viral fatigue lasting 4-5 months. March 2022 - Bells palsy again caught early, post viral fatigue again less severe this time, but had a horrible time withdrawing from high dose of prednisolone 50mg per day for 14 days. September 2022 Diagnosed with Long Covid with severe fatigue, heart palpitations, anxiety + panic, recurrence of pain and symptoms associated with the side of my face affected by bells palsy. Discussed upping my dose of Lexapro to 20mg with my new doctor which we began immediately to help with the anxiety. It helped get me stabilised and I saw good, but very slow progress with my long covid symptoms and anxiety. I work from home and the amount I can work per day started at about 2 hours and grew back to almost full time hours by June 2023. June 2023: Spoke to my doctor about lowering dose of Leaxpro back down to 10mg since I was feeling stable mood-wise for some time and Long Covid symptoms were improving steadily. I recalled my sh*tty time switching meds in the past and was resolute to ask to taper down slower than I had previously. I had read an article about hyperbolic dose reduction of Lexapro, and was keen to discuss a slower titre down to 10mg. The doctor said I would be just fine going straight down to 10mg, when I pressed about my bad experiences in the past even suggesting I go down to 15mg first, he stuck firm to the fact I wouldn't need to. I no longer see this doctor for this reason and for his waning support of my experiences with Long Covid. I lowered my dose to 15mg by taking half 20mg tablet + half 10mg tablet to get 15mg. Duration 2 weeks approximately (I didn't record the exact date I started) experienced brain zaps, low mood irritability, low appetite. July 1 2023: Dropped dose to 10mg tablet of Lexapro. Again, brain Zaps, low moods, irritable etc. August 5 2023: Went back up to 20mg (own decision) because I had been feeling so low for the last month with no improvement, fatigue was also increasing, heart palpitations were back, felt like my health was also suffering along with my mental health. August 8th 2023: Went to ED due to severe thoughts of self harm, felt completely hopeless and unheard by medical professionals. I am now linked in with support services. One of the services were short term which included a mediccal review by a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist recommended that I stay on the 20mg until I was stable with the potential to up the dose to 30mg if I don't improve. (Because I definitely wanted more Lexapro haha!) He tossed around the ideas of switching meds and even trying anti psychotics, while also agreeing I didn't appear to have any psychotic episodes or symptoms(?!). So it was another meh experience, but at least he did appear to be thoughtfully considering what I was saying and agreed that switching to a different anti-depressant during times of crisis isn't a good idea. I got prescribed some 5mg Valium tablets to only take when I was having panic attacks until the Lexapro 20mg had kicked in. I have taken 2.5mg cut tablet on two separate occasions of a panic attack, and 5mg for a severe down spiral. These were spaced out and are only taken as needed. I don't want to add addiction to the list of issues I have too! So here we are today, I have a new doctor and we have tackled the immediate issues with my health, she seems to be listening and is thoughtful and encouraging. I am recognising that what happened wasn't a relapse, but most likely withdrawal symptoms which then spiralled. I don't want to be on Lexapro any longer than I need to, and definitely not at this dose. I dislike the memory issues I suffer from, dry skin, sexual disfunction (and all the rest that comes with that, which I learned from the documentary could be permanent!! No one told me, all doctors said "hmm thats really sucks"). I am back on 20mg for 3.5 weeks now and will wait until my mood and health have stabilised before I discuss lowering my dose again with my new doctor. Having had my life turned upside down with long covid/post viral fatigue for the past year has changed my life and also given me the space and time to work on myself. All of these 'lows' have helped give me the determination to put in the long term time to improve and better my life. I'd love all of your support as this all begins; in stabilising, then reducing again sloooowly. I can do this!

Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.

Are the doctors right? Insomnia. I gave birth to my son in March 2019 and experienced terrible postpartum anxiety. My psychiatrist put me on 20mg Lexapro (escitalopram) which I commenced on the 17th June 2019. In October I saw my psychiatrist and told him I wanted to taper off Lexapro - he told me to take 15mg for one week, 10mg for one week and then 5mg for the final week (three week taper). My last pill was on the 14th November 2019 and the day after my last pill I couldn’t sleep. Ever since then I have experienced terrible insomnia. I either find it hard to fall asleep or I wake a few times per night. My psychiatrist and doctor believe that my anxiety is waking me during the night but I think the insomnia is a withdrawal symptom. What are your thoughts? And is there anything I can do to ease my insomnia? Do I need to go back on Lexapro (6 weeks without the meds) and then taper more slowly? I have had my anxiety under control but the lack of sleep is sinking me downhill again.

Hello, This is my first post on this forum after lurking for a couple years while tapering off of Zoloft, starting at age 20. I thought I had the taper under control for most of that time, but all the changes seem to have caught up with me. I am feeling skeptical that this is going to pass and that I will ever be able to get off of this medication. Anxiety, panic attacks, and physical disorientation and discomfort have kept me effectively homebound for a few months now, with no sign of cessation; it is discomfort far greater than I have ever experienced in my life. My sleep is often interrupted, and sometimes I am awake for up to 40 hours at a time due to physical stress. I cannot walk around my neighbourhood, let alone take the bus, go to the store, or participate in work or school; I can do very little physical activity at home, and have to be extremely cautious with my dietary choices. I am currently taking no supplements, but I am considering trying L-Theanine or Taurine, which I understand to be neuroprotective. Gabapentin seemingly helped me through medication changes in the past before, but I am skeptical of adding a new drug into the mix. My doctor had been helpful with the taper, but suddenly changed her tune after I was finally honest about the problems I was having, and is now of the opinion that I need to be on this drug forever (her words), completely disregarding the fact that many of my symptoms are purely physical and could not be explained by my "original condition" (as she maintains is the case.) Additionally, I have been adamant that going back on medication is not an option; Zoloft caused me to uncontrollably engage in extremely self-destructive and reckless behaviour (drinking by myself until passing out, sleeping with strangers using no protection, reckless driving); prior to taking medication, I was a quiet, introverted guy who liked gaming and fantasy literature, and had neither taken a sip of alcohol nor intended to. I also believe it is responsible for a sudden complete and unprecedented shift in sexuality (from heterosexuality to homosexuality) and strong gender dysphoria. I do not know which mechanism of the drug could have caused this, but there is no other suitable explanation, as these acquired traits have both completely subsided, directly synchronous with my taper. When I told my doctor that the medication had these effects on me, she prescribed me Seroquel (which I am, of course, not taking); despite my calm demeanour over the phone, she clearly thinks that I am delusional. I certainly learned my lesson through this, and will no longer say any more than is necessary to avoid seeming belligerent. Out of all the people in my life, only my mother and my girlfriend believe me that Zoloft caused me to have this dramatic personality shift that endangered my life, and they are both very supportive of me in general. My father, who is currently financially supporting me, albeit reluctantly, is of the same mind as my doctor; he believes that I have a genetic defect and must be medicated permanently. Overall, however, he has been surprisingly tolerant, and I have a safe place to live where my needs are being taken care of. I have undergone thorough medical examination, and have been determined to be in good physical health, aside from a recent POTS diagnosis that I believe is a result of my taper and is causing many of my symptoms. To sum everything up: I am trapped in a world of discomfort, and have no idea what my next steps should be. Any help at all is appreciated. I am only a young guy, and the future is not looking bright right now. I am really scared that I have damaged my body and brain beyond repair both by taking the medication for so long at such a high dose and in tapering improperly. Having said that, I am feeling much more like myself, and I know that I am on the right track. P.S. I apologize if any part of my post violates content guidelines. I was aiming for as much clarity as possible but any offending parts can certainly be removed.

Am I in the right place to ask about advice to taper medication as an advocate for my husband?

Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hello everyone! I recently found this website, and suddenly my last few weeks of experience with lexapro have begun to make a lot of sense! I am so grateful for all this community does to help people dealing with the adverse effects of antidepressants and withdrawal. Here is my story. I am hoping for any insights on how to proceed. I do have a psychiatrist, but unfortunately this is not a very well understood phenomenon in the medical community. I am also struggling with self blame and worry that I will become a person who has gotten messed up irreversibly, and I know those are cognitive distortions, but any positive vibes in those departments would still be great! Backstory I’ve been on lexapro twice in my life for several years at a time for GAD, did great, had nausea upon first starting out and some irritability on tapering but overall found it quite helpful and with minimal side effects. I never cold turkeyed - both times I weaned over months if not years under medical supervision. I was also always a good sleeper: could sleep 9+ hours easy. Fast forward to this holiday season. I’m not on lexapro, stable for 6 months. Then I start getting random heart pounding throughout the morning and trouble falling asleep—every time I would try my heart pounded. Got medical workup, all good. Over the course of a week, I tried several sleep meds, including valerian root, Trazodone up to 100 mg, Benadryl and gabapentin up to 400 mg, which helped sleep minimally and only messed me up more: caused daytime anxiety or disinhibition or over tiredness. Some nights I took both trazodone and benadryl. In the end I took a 150mg dose of Benadryl in a desperate attempt to sleep. At about that time I resumed lexapro because my doc figured it was underlying anxiety causing sleep trouble, though in retrospect I don't think I was really that anxious. Kindling? Then I had weird symptoms for 2 weeks, including ongoing insomnia (troubles staying asleep), inappropriate sexual arousal that felt like a pain in my genitals, restlessness, a sense of fight or flight including trouble breathing and a sense of urgency and discomfort in your own skin, sometimes with shortness of breath and chest tightness, oftentimes after eating which I know makes very little sense, poor appetite, lots of stools though not diarrhea, random itching including itching that woke me in the middle of the night). None of the above is my regular old GAD, by the way. My usual anxiety is more mental: turning over worst case scenarios in my head and all that. I had never had any of the above symptoms before, so I chalked it up to withdrawal from my overuse of sleep meds. My doctor, too, told me that sometimes anxiety can morph into other forms, but I was skeptical, feeling like "this is chemical." I also wondered if I was histamine intolerant and started a low histamine diet, which by the way sucks, but I doubt hurts anything because I can still eat enough of a variety of foods. Most of the above symptoms evened out over 2-3 weeks except for upset stomach and fatigue whenever I ate, and I could get unbroken sleep only every other night. So my doc and I decreased lexapro to 5 mg after about a month of being on 10mg, since we thought 5 mg would be more tolerable. Taper First week into the taper, appetite declined so I have to count calories just to make sure I get enough. I itched at times but that’s a minimal issue. There were flutters of restlessness and “monkey mind” here and here and there, and a bit of genital swelling, but overall manageable. The second week sleep got worse: before I would wake and just not be able to resume sleep, but now I would wake with ragged breathing and struggle to resume sleep and be anxious about it. Before that I would just wake up and be awake. I take valerian root for sleep in tiny doses: 1/4 of the 500mg caps per night. I don’t want to take it, but worry about going back to a time when I slept 4 hours per night if that at the beginning of this journey. (Re)-Increase So then on 2/15 doc and I figured I should try a slower taper and do 7.5mg. I did that for 2 days and on day 2 (2/16) the fight or flight returned: restless, uncomfortable in my skin, a swelling sensation in my genitals. I took an extra 2.5 mg (for a total of 10 mg) and later that day felt like my skin had a sunburn for about an hour. I went down to lexapro 5 mg for a day, then back up to 7.5 mg and have been on that dose for the past 4 days. Well, sure enough the "chemical" feeling anxiety did decline and is almost gone, the skin warmth increased and then declined (I also had cold-like symptoms but not objective fever), and inappropriate arousal has also improved (except for today, when it seems worse). I also had some looser stools and the jury is still out on whether that's getting better or worse. [TL;DR] If you got this far, thank you :). My questions are as follow: -- Does it seem like I might be dealing with kindling (or re-kindling)? I'm not sure I fully understand kindling... When it occurs, does it decline? Or do medication side effects sometimes look a lot like a kindling phenomenon? -- re: kindling: if I kindled myself as I backtracked on my lexapro taper, what now? Is it best to hold steady, or to taper? Should I wait and see? There's been a couple days of back and forth but overall I've been on lexapro 7.5 mg for less than a week. If I taper again I will ask my doc for liquid lexapro and decrease very slowly, as I have learned from this site. TIA for reading and for any insights! Keep fighting the good fight.

Hi, I found this site a couple of weeks ago and have slowly been starting to wonder if what I’ve been going through the past 18 months is related to SSRI withdrawal. I managed to successfully withdraw from Lexapro at the end of 2010, after over 13 years of AD use. I had various fluctuating symptoms for a couple of months, but then apart from constant ringing in my ears and a return of occasional anxiety, I seemed to be ok. I was studying to be a chi-ball instructor, was exercising regularly, was eating healthy and was generally quite happy. After getting off Lexapro, I had been diagnosed with adult ADD and been put on medication for that. It worked well for a couple of weeks and seemed to completely cure what remained of my anxiety, but then I started to get extreme restlessness, OCD like symptoms, irritability and an increase in my sensitivity, to sounds and lights. I assumed it was a bad reaction to the stimulant medication. My life has been a confusing nightmare since the end of 2010 really, but until I found this site a couple of weeks ago, it really didn’t occur to me that my ongoing problems were being caused by a medication I stopped taking over 2 years ago. I’ve had a lot of stress in my life starting from an early age and have always been sensitive and anxious. There has been some violent crime and sexual abuse, but I seemed to be ok until I got myself into a psychologically abusive marriage. That’s when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started on Zoloft. For a couple of years it took the edge off my anxiety, but I never thought I had depression, but the Zoloft just made me feel generally numb, so I endured my marriage, for several more years until it became unbearable, tried to communicate with my ex-husband so that things would improve, but he wasn’t interested in change, he was already in his next relationship and had been for a while, I didn’t know that at the time though. Then I went through about 4 years of extremely frightening separation/divorce and ongoing court proceedings. . There were other extremely stressful things I’ve had to deal with over the last 10 years, but I’m not going to go into details. I have been thinking that what I’m going through is a combination of long term stress, anxiety/depression, a ‘dark night of the soul’, menopause and/or some kind of spiritual transformation like kundalini, because I have engaged in various spiritual practises through my life. At times its felt like my CNS is completely burned out or that I have some kind of serious hormonal imbalance, but I gave up trusting the medical profession, including psychologists after years of not being able to get any help from any of them and only ending up feeling worse and that its all my fault for not trying hard enough. I’ve had lots therapy, counselling and done various support groups over the last 15 years, nothing has been any significant help. I went back to college to study psychology and started a business, but that all fell apart when the marital abuse became worse and the divorce proceedings began. Since finding this site, I’ve stopped taking all psychotropic medication, realizing that anything which effects my brain is having an exaggerated negative effect on my recovery. For a long time I’ve noticed that even small amounts of caffeine, half a glass of wine or even an anti-histamine will have a very bad effect on me, but I was thinking it was my imagination. I can’t even eat chocolate any more without suffering the next day. I’m exhausted all the time, but it’s a weird kind of fatigue, its like a combination mental/emotional tiredness, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. I spend most of my time at home, on the internet on my bed, just doing the things I need to do to take care of myself and my teenage daughter. Its very difficult just getting out to buy a few groceries, but when I do go out, I function perfectly in a kind of dissociated way, like I’m not even in my own body, I’m watching myself like from a distance, wondering who it is that’s behaving so ‘normally’ when I’m feeling so awful. Waves of negative emotions seem to get triggered by almost everything around me and almost every thought, I try not to think about things or do much of anything so I can avoid the emotional pain that thoughts or experiences bring, its like a kind of forced meditation. This symptom was at its worst from November 2011 – August 2012, but its not as bad now, seems to be settling down, I think its improved by about 50%. Please would someone take a look at the details in my signature and give me an opinion if protracted anti-depressant withdrawal might be a factor in my current health problems which include: Waking at 5am with racing thoughts Feeling like I haven’t slept at all Nausea, shaking, dizziness, body pressure, muscle twitches Waves of negative emotion Hot/cold flashes, sweating Constant ringing in my ears Sensitive to sound, light and smells Can’t watch TV or listen to the radio because its too stimulating Most things are too stimulating now, including being around other people too long Loss of appetite and loss of weight Hair falling out Agoraphobia, mostly during the day, I’m able to go out easier late afternoon towards evening Memory problems and mental confusion Loss of confidence. Loss of interest in doing anything or going anywhere Can’t get any pleasure out of things any more Loss of hope I needed to put more detail in my signature, but that’s all that would fit. From about 2006 – 2008 I was also taking duramine (a prescription stimulant weight loss med) to try and lose all the weight I’d put on from being on SSRI meds. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to try and provide a clear picture of my situation. Thank you Petu

Hello, My situation began when I developed an eating disorder after gaining a lot of weight in High School. I didn't have much support from my relatives growing up and was emotionally neglected. I was taught to just deal with "It", no matter what the "It" was, without guidance. Due to that mentality, I was able to hide my disorder for a long time, no one noticed or cared. I didn't consider myself depressed when I lost all the weight, and it became my self-esteem. When I was in my early 20's, I got married and moved away, I couldn't hide it anymore, and decided to get help. I went to a local psychiatrist, and he immediately prescribed Prozac to "help me" stop and suggested a counselor. At first the Prozac helped, I'd get upset and literally two mins later, I couldn't remember why. I saw my counselor, but it was just rehashing the past or current problems, no advice on how to work it out, accept and heal. After gaining 15 pounds, I resumed my disorder. I didn't realize at the time, that nothing was working. My family moved to another state, I was still on Prozac and only had a general physician (GP). As the years went on, medicines were changed, and my disorder continued. After 9 years on meds, I stopped the eating disorder. Then, while working a job that was very stressful (cold marketing), I was referred to a psychiatrist, who also prescribed Xanax prn for anxiety and finally Seroquel for insomnia. My psych kept upping my dose of Seroquel because the insomnia would come back (tolerance). I had side effects with the medications I was on long term (Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, and Seroquel), but because I was on some of them at different times, I didn't realize it. I had restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, irregular heartbeat, high eye pressure, clenching/grinding my teeth, binge drinking, anxiety, mood swings, aggression, insomnia and chronic pain - none of which I had before taking the meds. Each time I saw my GP, I was told that it was a new malady - an autoimmune disorder, neuropathy disorders, fibromyalgia, extreme stress, etc... So, I was given other drugs on top of the antidepressants. I was not advised, about weight gain on Lexapro (not good for a history of an eating disorder), so when I gained 30 pounds from it, I relapsed my disorder 14 years after I'd quit - no weight came off, so I stopped the disorder again 6 months later, for good. A couple years later, I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, I asked my psych for a trial run of quitting, I was told "No, you could relapse and make things worse". I reluctantly stayed on them. Three years after that, my psychiatrist was fired/let go (or so I was told) and moved out of the area. There was no warning, and I was almost out of meds, I only found out because I called for my next refill appt, and my psych had already been gone for a month! I was lucky enough to have his office give me a month's worth of my meds until I could find another psych (which I have not done). Suddenly, I was terrified it could happen again, so I decided to go off them. A few years before, I switched to a new general physician. I was on 40mg Lexapro and 800mg Seroquel. I knew if I went cold turkey, it could be bad, so I began my taper. The Lexapro, I tapered 30 pills took me about 2 months, concurrently with the Seroquel, which I tapered at the same time, 60 pills, took me almost 8 months. I have been off all meds for 3 months now. The withdrawal from the Lexapro wasn't bad, just the brain zaps, but that could be because the Seroquel was still in my system - I was lucky. During the first 3 months of the Seroquel taper, I felt ok, some rumination, self-doubt, and insomnia. I even had a period of feeling great (I know now I was hypomanic), I'd stabilize and then go down more. Once I reached 12mg, about 3 1/2 months in, the withdrawal symptoms started and progressively built on each other until I stopped my taper. I started having anxiety, anhedonia, irritation, dread, tooth and jaw pain, anger, memory gaps/loss, confusion. At 6mgs I had a severe panic attack 8-hours long, felt like I was going to die, my husband helped me calm down. I saw my new GP, told her what I'd done and got immediate support. She gave me a prescription for 5 pills of Klonopin .5mg. (I haven't had to use any). I was having adrenaline surges, I couldn't watch thrillers/scary movies or the news, or drive my car, or go anywhere by myself. I stayed at 6mg for a month to stabilize. At 3mgs I was still having adrenaline surges, then heart palpitations, acne and vesicles on my upper body. My emotions were everywhere, crying, anger, anhedonia, catastrophizing, and rumination. I stayed at 3mg for a month then, when I calmed a bit, finally stopped altogether. I've been educated quite a bit since finding this site a month ago, it's been a Godsend. I'm always looking up symptoms and reading other's experiences, and this has helped me more than anything. Looking back, I should have tapered slower (I didn't know), and I try not to worry or be scared about the consequences of not doing that. I know everyone's experience is different and I'm hopeful, but on guard. Being three months out, although some of the symptoms have calmed down greatly, I'm still experiencing them, some acute and a few new weird ones. Waves and windows happen from time to time and I'm in a window right now. Good things... Most of the side effects that I had while on the drugs - restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, binge drinking, and chronic pain, are gone so far, they disappeared during the taper. I also lost all of the weight I gained on the Lexapro once I stopped it, without even trying. Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has shared their experiences, for your knowledge and for a place to tell my story.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. Back in September 2020 I was driven to the ER for what I now know was a panic attack (heart racing, blurry vision, dizziness, etc.). I saw a neurologist at the ER, whom I followed up with shortly after in October 2020. The neurologist took one look at me, told me I was anxious, and sent me out the door with a prescription for 10mg Lexapro (which is unfortunately far too common). I started taking this on 10/20/2021. The first week on this seemed to amplify all anxious symptoms, but then surprisingly made me feel great (calmer, more energized, optimistic, etc.). I didn't ask questions as I was fairly naive at the time and trusted the neurologist's decision. A few months in I started experiencing days of extreme fatigue, and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision. I managed to ignore these and attributed them to migraines. Fast forward to February 2021. The days of fatigue and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision are still happening, yet more frequently. I also noticed a general sense of feeling numb, as if things did not matter as much. I remember one day I forgot to take my dose (for the first time) and I made it until about noon at work. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, head pressure, racing heart and a few more that I can't remember. Once again, I was naive and still didn't consider Lexapro as the issue. The next day I took my normal dose and everything returned back to normal. It's now March 2021. For some reason I decided to start questioning the efficacy of the Lexapro as I was starting to have anxious symptoms yet again. I also had a profound realization that I had become dependent on this drug to function day-to-day in order to "manage" my anxiety, and would be for the rest of my life. This is when I began my research (engineer by trade, heavily science/statistically driven), and to say I was shocked is an understatement. SSRI's are prescribed based on a theory, there is no scientific evidence that has proved SSRI's do what they are intended to do. The primary driver is anecdotal evidence, which absolutely blew my mind (once again, engineering perspective). I'm sure these drugs are helpful to some people, but oh my is this interesting. Journalist Robert Whitaker summarizes the history/efficacy of psychiatric drugs brilliantly, check him out if you haven't already. I was aware of 'potential' withdrawal symptoms through brief internet research (unfortunately did not find SA until 3 months off), was willing to tough it out for a few weeks and I quit cold turkey on March 4th 2021. As many of you have unfortunately experienced, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen during the coming months. The acute withdrawal phase hit almost immediately, parking me in bed for a few days followed by another week of dragging myself around. Over the next few weeks I had the typical symptoms: brain zaps, extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches/head pressure, chest pain, muscle aches, panic attacks, and many many more. At the end of March I began to feel fairly normal and could function enough to return to daily activities. Fast forward to June 2021 and I got absolutely slammed with withdrawal symptoms. The mental/psychological symptoms were intense and frightening as the only psychological issues I have had in the past was anxiety. These consisted of: intrusive thoughts, DP/DR, OCD, insomnia, depression, extreme anxiety (way worse than pre-lexapro), anhedonia and some more I can't remember. Physical symptoms were: DIZZINESS (this was by far my worst physical symptom), tinnitus, extreme fatigue, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, chest pain, and just about every other symptoms you've read about. I have been to almost every doctor/specialist you could think of and according to modern medicine I was the 'healthiest person' they've seen. I had started to lose faith in modern medicine and begun to look for solutions myself..... Then I found SA and everything made sense. I have been reading many of the stories here (mostly success ) and I cannot thank the people here enough for the information/hope that is provided. Anyway, here I am 7+ months after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I have been in the windows/waves pattern for the past 4 months with noticeable improvements. I was actually debating on posting a success story last week because I had been feeling so great, but unfortunately a wave hit - although minor in comparison to the beginning. This has consisted of insomnia, intrusive thoughts, minor DP/DR, light sensitivity and generally feeling out of it. So that's about it. I will continue to update this post accordingly as time goes on, and eventually will post my success story. Cheers, - Seer

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hi.My name is Adrian.I took Lexapro for 6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg, and it’s my 9th day off it.Since day 4 off I experience severe vertigo(ground tilting), severe headache, severe derealization and depersonalization, total weekness of body mostly in legs, feeling like my arms are floating, lack of concentration, confusion, flu like symptoms, anxiety, vivid dreams, hot and cold waves over body, tingling in fingers, I almost got into some panic attacks, severe anger, can’t feel my legs while walking, severe brain fog.Hope it all goes soon as i find it very hard to cope with the symptoms.

Hi, all. I’m new here and thought I would do an introduction. Im a 42f mom of 3. I’m fortunate to have found this forum thanks to the Lexapro support group on FB and mentions in subreddits before I started my taper. in December of 2023 I was going through a time of heightened stress and anxiety that sent me into panic attacks, agoraphobia, and extreme anxiety and depression. I’ve always had moderate anxiety but this was on another level. I went to my primary doctor out of desperation and she immediately suggested Lexapro, and she stressed that it has hardly any side effects, easy to come off of etc. I wish I had educated myself better but I was desperate at the time. I went on 5mg. It maybe helped slightly, but not much. In January she upped my dose to 10mg. I was still having extreme anxiety and panic frequently, but things were slightly better maybe. I started researching more and decided I don’t want to be on these meds anymore. I have been on it for a total of 11 weeks, 6 weeks on 10mg. I want to start tapering slowly asap but I am nervous. I still don’t feel like I’m stable, I still have heightened anxiety although not as bad as the beginning. I am absolutely EXHAUSTED, to the point where i can barely function. I don’t know if these meds even “work” for me and if I’ll ever stabilize on them enough to start my taper. I was planning on maybe waiting until I’ve been on 10mg for 8-12 weeks to see if I’m more stable at that point. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I am also in therapy, take supplements (fish oil, vitamin d, b12, multivitamin, l theanine, and magnesium), I exercise daily, eat healthy, no caffeine, meditation daily, and go to acupuncture monthly. Happy to have found this site, it’s an amazing resource.

I was prescribed Lexapro 10 years ago following the death of my daughter. I was started on 10 mg, eventually increased to 20mg due to anxiety issues. 3 months ago I decided that I wanted to stop taking this medication. I felt blunted most of the time, and wanted to see how I would do off of it. This was discussed with my family practitioner. We halved the dosage for a month and then halved it again for another month. At that point I was down to 5mg daily and doing ok. I then went to 5mg every other day x 2 weeks, and then stopped. I have been experiencing brain zaps and parasthesia daily. Its extremely uncomfortable and has made me withdraw from social activities. I force myself through the work day, then come home and get into bed. Last week I spoke to a Psychiatric NP and asked about Prozac as an adjunct to help with these symptoms. This is day 4 on Prozac 10mg which has helped maybe 20% with the head zaps. I'd appreciate input. This is miserable.

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

I’m a 63 year old woman and my first antidepressant use was in 1997. I saw antidepressants as mood cosmetics: an adjustment to my anxious, sometimes irritable and depressive personality that would help me get ahead and live more boldly. I didn’t stay on for long and I quit cold turkey. I broke up with my boyfriend and fell into a deep depression, which I attributed to the breakup. 2003, I found myself in a challenging job as I started having premenopausal irritability. My gynecologist put me back on Prozac, but at some point (2006?), my gp switched me to lexapro. I stayed on it until 2015. (I had post nasal drip with fluoxetine, which led (I think) to numerous sinus infections; that’s why I asked to switch) 2015, I realized I’d missed many doses and I felt fine, so I just stopped, but started having zaps, emotional lability, anxiety etc. I kept wanting to get through it, thinking the symptoms would abate sooner or later. After many months like this, I complained to my gp about hot flashes—not recognizing them as a withdrawal symptom. When she suggested lexapro as an off-label solution to that problem, it felt like a message from god and I resumed lexapro. 2021, I honestly felt there’d be no easier time in my life to taper. Never mind the pandemic, I thought my life was great, which presently seems blunted and delusional. 11/30, I started reducing my doses, and proceeded carefully for 254 days, listening to my body and making reductions after zaps stopped and I felt stable at the lower dose. My last dose in 8/2022. Tardive withdrawal symptoms started in September or October. They seem episodic but mostly, they’re present; I’ve had just a few multi-day breaks from symptoms. Writing this in mid-February 2023 and wondering if I’ll ever feel better. Dealing with loneliness, aging/dying parents and money issues are added, unavoidable stressors. of the four doctors who’ve prescribed ssris for me, one was a gynecologist. The others were GPs! Very grateful to friends who are willing to listen. what helps: —I used to take my Ssri with a fistful of supplements and I found it easy to lose the habit of taking supplements when I stopped the drugs. Now I’m careful to take supplements and they seem to help, but I’m not qualified to advise. (Everything I take: Fish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3) —I take valerian to help with sleep. I like solaray because it has standardized active ingredient. Topical melatonin, also for sleep; sometimes kava tea for daytime calm —seldom drinking any alcohol —switching from black tea to green and limiting it to two cups in the morning —seldom watching any news at present —asking myself “what is the best way to take care of myself right now?”—especially when I’m symptomatic —I pick up a lot of good tips from YouTube channel “therapy in a nutshell”… not specific to drug discontinuation but useful techniques for staying calm I’m here to learn as well as to support and I welcome comments to improve my approach to recovery may we all be well, Mary

#1 Help. I was on lexapro 8 years. Tapered off lexapro onto Effexor in sept 2021. Couldn’t handle it. Stopped taking after 5 days. Started Zoloft. Lasted 30 days. Side effects were bad. Tapered off to pristiq. Lasted 10 days and my psychiatrist said to just stop. I was trying to give my body a break so I could start a new med. 8 days later I went back to lexapro. Took it tonight. I’ve been having slight confusion lately, mental fog, poor concentration and not in touch with reality. I’ve always had panic attacks but what I experienced was not. My brain started to get warm and I almost wanted to pass out following extreme confusion with my heart/pulse racing incredibly fast. It’s like my brain was shutting down. I was so scared thinking i was having a brain aneurysm, stroke or seizure. I called 911. Went to hospital where I got a ct scan of my head. They ruled out a tumor, stroke or seizure: they didn’t check my blood sugar or run blood work. This happened at 10pm tonight. Got back home almost 2AM and went to bed extremely scared. I woke up an hour later in state of confusion to this happening again. The docs say it’s from the meds. I’m so scared I can’t sleep bc I don’t want it to happen again. I feel like it’s more than this and I’m actually going to die from whatever this is. It’s like my brain is broke. I was perfectly fine a few months ago. Idk why the docs couldn’t find an answer to what I was experiencing. I’m so scared this is something else. I’m 34, male, good health.. active

Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?

Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Hi everyone, I'm Stanislav, 24 years old and I've been suffering from constant depersonalization/derealization for almost 7 years, triggered by a weed induced panic attack. My symptoms include feeling unreal, confused in the world, racing thoughts, excessive symptom monitoring, memories don't seem like my own, loss of sense of self, apathy, anhedonia, lights are bright and "tunnel vision" (a kind of visual processing problem where I don't seem to percieve all of my FOV at once). Two years later I was curious about medication since my symptoms haven't improved despite cbt therapy and time passing. In January 2020, I went to a psychiatrist, briefly described my situation and he instantly prescribed me Lexapro 10mg, which was supposedly really safe and unproblematic. I started taking it and felt changes in the next months. I cared much less about the intrusive thoughts but also had more anhedonia, was even less prone to laughing, was always feeling a bit tired and it was more difficult to reach orgasm but for me that was fine, since I had issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway, shortly after I met my boyfriend (the light of my life) and I continued the use of Lexapro for 2 years. Often times only taking half a dose, in hindsight it was irresponsible to be doing this. My dpdr symptoms have not improved but they were easier to live with and ignore. I want to emphasize that I didn't have a close connection to my psychiatrist and basically only went there for a new receipt where he asked if everything was fine and I said yes. Having no idea that tapering after prolonged AD use is supposed to be really slow, even though 5mg is the minimal tablet dosage, I quit cold turkey in 2022 for a month from 5mg because it wasn't helping with dpdr, not thinking much of it. I began experiencing great anxiety and depression and wanted to try wellbutrin, which helped for some people. So I was on wellbutrin for 2 weeks and had to quit it because it made me extremely tired and not much else. I then restarted Lexapro 5mg and later went up to 10mg for another 1 1/2 years. It was similar to the first time I took it. Then in January 2023 I decided to get off the drug and really work on my anxiety to recover from dpdr, which had been ruining my inner life. (Outwardly I was doing fine, got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics, while being dissociated 24/7, working on my master's degree right now) Without talking to my psychiatrist, whom I didn't trust that much anyway and he was changing offices too, I quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey about a year ago. I really did not think much of it. I was really convinced the drug was relatively harmless. Stupid of me, I now know better. My withdrawals started after a week and I suffer them until today, a year later. They're not as bad as some people here have them but they are still debilitating and include: Waking up with and suffering from strong anxiety and incessant racing thoughts and uncontrollable worries, depressed mood, heart beating fast, not being able to breathe in deeply, I also have anhedonia which I had before but now it's worse and I miss laughing. At first I was telling myself it was relapsing or that my dpdr was improving because I was feeling more anxiety, so my emotions were less dampened but just last week the realization hit me that I was not just suffering from dpdr but also from having been on Lexapro. At this point I wish I never took it. The last few days have been especially bad with me not being able to calm myself down and feeling like a hopeless case. The withdrawal symptoms have not improved at all yet. I've been going to the gym for 2 months and I will continue to do so. One thing that sometimes helps is a diaphragmatic breathing meditation, Doing this I can feel the anxiety subside sometimes. I am struggling at work and university but I hope that I will improve in the next year. Do you guys think there is hope for me? I know I ***** up but after a year, I don't want to start taking the drug again to taper it more slowly. I was thinking about doing rTMS for depression and anxiety and I am also in therapy for the last half year. Would appreciate any kind words and thoughts. Cheers