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Helooo i am new here in july 2023 before six months i feel fastness in my body and behaviour i consult with my psychiatrist he gave me mixture of prozac and olanzapine then after three days i become restless and became suicidal i immediately quit then my dr gave sertaline and olanzapine then after 20 days my panic attack start and ocd became severe my dr told me about cold turkey and i did because i did not know about tapering but then hell start my worst panic attack start which last almost till evening then my dr gave lexapro which hit as a blast and i told my mother i want to die nothing did help me no one benzo calm me intense panic and restlessness then my dr gave kolonopin and paxil which stop restlessness and panic attack immediately i feel relief them after three days i feel inner agitation but panic attack stop which is a big relief but agitation not leting me rest i told my dr he said thats is anxiety i told him thats is not anxiety he did not listen me and contine my prescription but told me to cut the pill half which coated and i did that my agitation became less then my dr told me take 1/4 i took it then agitation still present but became very calm then dr told me i think u have bipolar disorder and precribe lamictal and seroquel which i not took because i have history of anxiety disorder and depression i use paxil cr in 2021 when mother diagnose with mets cancer and prozac and olanzapine in 2018 when i became suicidal which was my first episode now my dr tell me to take 1/4 paxil coated pill every other day and then every second day and quit and take lamictal and seroquel when i take pill every second day then hell broke intense physical pain which last only three days then intnese restlessness start and ocd i also mention here that i also take 0.5 kolonopin at night Dear guys help what i should i do?

Hi, sorry, I don’t have a signature yet. I am in the process of titrating off Lurasidone and at times the withdrawals are horrific. With that in mind I would LOVE to hear some positive stories of people coming off this med. I started on 40mg 7 or 8 years ago when given a misdiagnosis of bipolar 2. I am currently taking 12mg a day (as of 7 days ago). I’ve been dropping by 2mg each time since I got down to 20mg. I tried three times to come off this med much faster and failed terribly. The drop from 16-14mg was very difficult and this recent drop has me feeling hellish! I think I may need to reduce the amount I decrease by a little. Any advice is more than welcome! thanks

Hi sorry for my poor english i'am suffering from nerve pain after I CT prozac and abilify I took them for almost 3,5 weeks I was on ativan from 9-11 2023 0.5-1mg Clonazepam 11-1 0.5mg tappering for 0.25 for month and i am on 0,25 from 2 month olanzapine 10m g 2 weeks in 12 2023 then abilify 10 days 10 mg 7 days ablifiy 5 mg and stopped at 13/12/2023 beacuse TD started Prozac 20 for 3.5 weeks and ct in 16/12 /2023 mild withdrawal then In 2/2 2024 My body started tingiling only when move then day after day pain is increased now it like fire ants 24/7 is it from prozac, abilify or clonazepam i was on 0.25 clonazepam for 3 weeks before it started and there was no thing

Hello! I am a 22 year old woman who was first prescribed 10mg of Celexa in January 2022, then 20mg in March 2022. I had never had any issues with anxiety or depression, but at the time was in the midst of an Adderall addiction that had left me with depressive comedowns to the point of suicidal ideation. I ultimately said goodbye to Adderall in March 2023 and went cold-turkey without any lingering side effects. I continued to take 20mg Celexa daily until the end of April, when I realized that the medication was numbing my emotions and curbing my anxiety to the point that I felt no urgency over anything. My prescriber's instructions for tapering, I have learned, were much too fast – I cut from 20mg to 10mg at the end of April, and held there for a month before cutting from 10mg to 0mg over the course of June/July. My last dose of Celexa was on July 9th. Symptoms of withdrawal were noticeable shortly thereafter, but have really peaked over the past 2 weeks. I had severe gastrointestinal side effects (took laxatives for 10 days straight), feelings of depersonalization and dizziness, difficulty staying asleep, elevated heart rate, and severe episodes of hopelessness and lack of motivation. I decided to reinstate 2.5mg as of Saturday, which resolved my gastrointestinal issues but otherwise has not made a significant difference yet in terms of mental stability. I am not sure where to go from here – I plan to meet with a new psychiatrist this week, but this has been the most difficult thing I have ever encountered. Curious if anyone has had a similar experience, has any recommendations, or even just words of support. I am so desperate for my life back. Thank you so much.

Hi everybody - I just joined as I've been blown away with what an incredible resource this is. Major thanks to the administrators and to all who contribute. I'm very grateful to be here as I intend to begin my journey to finally getting off Paxil which I've been on for 17 years! First questions I have: 1. I take the tablet form of Paxil. Do I have to switch over to the liquid form, and if so, do I need to get a new prescription from my doctor, or would the pharmacist simply switch over? I also heard somewhere that they discontinued the liquid version. Is there any truth to it? 2. Is it more difficult to get off Paxil for someone who's been on it for 17 years than someone who's been on it for 2 years? Thanks in advance for any insights you can provide.

Heylo folk, Grateful to be here, on this massive learning curve of a journey, in the now, for today. At times this voyage seems so challenging I wonder what I'm doing, at others the determination for authenticity drives me.... I've only read a small part of your shared stories, feelings and experiences, feel there is such a lot to read, absorb and process here.... Not sure where to begin, so I'll just start somewhere, as you do. After getting off booze, antidepressants and mood stabilisers over the last few years. I have now begun tapering on the monthly antipsychotic injection, Abilify Maintena 450mg down to 300mg about 7 weeks ago, under advice from psychiatrist. Before I'd read the 10% recommendation here. Plan is to stay on this dose some 6 months, as Ive come this far, and allow my systems to reconfigure. I am also on Clonazepam 0.5 mg daily, and very occasionally Temazepam 5mg to sleep. I began here with JanCarol and Brassmonkeys awesome success stories, the next thread I turned to was that on anger. Came up pretty fast for me, along with grief, trauma triggering, volume aka voices, misperceptions and some really distorted stories. I am finding developing a witness seems help full, yet can not always maintain such polite clarity. Lets just say the inner banshee hasn't been so inner. I lost it with my partner very recently, in a mirror maze of projection and raw verbals. It was a wake up call, another one. Today we spoke around this very gently and tentatively, as I had recovered enough equilibrium to do so. I have noticed some patterns with this currently, like that from 4pm on especially, a semiconsensual reality tends to distort and morph into a tale that sees me defensive, protective and yes, the aforementioned experiences occuring. External triggers can also bring this on at other times. Between and betwixt there can be potential times for creativity and study, although my capacity to focus aint grand. My body is moving slow. I have cried more in this time than for years, but this feels like a clean emotion. Originally being medicated at age 22, Im now 51. Spooky. Abuse and trauma are present in my story. I am working with strong infusions of dried herbs, oat straw (Avena sativa) and stinging nettle (Urtica dioica), and drinking motherwort (Leonuris cardiaca) tea as a chillax aid. Also taking a shroom powder Lions Mane recommended for brain regeneration. I'm napping during the day as have the flexability to, and it organically began to occur. Im often awake round 3 -4am, I injoy the quiet, low stimulis energy of this time. Usually had enough by 9 -9.30pm. I find daily meditation and a specific mantra clears voices to a certain extent, if I let this go a few days I pay for it. I wear noise cancelling headphones a fair bit. Music supports. Excuse if I've rambled, I just wanted to connect in some while I'm in a relatively calm state tonight....I feel pretty vulnerable doing so but there you go, part of the process.... Thanksgivings....

Moderator note: link to Waterfall's members-only benzo thread - Waterfall: What dose to try now: Taking Clonazepam on AD withdrawal Wow. I feel nervous. Like I've just stepped out onto a big stage. With big lights. And the crowd beyond the edge, of the lights, of the stage, is all fuzzy and indistinct, sitting out there in the dark. Is this microphone on? I chose Waterfall for my name, because it's one of those things that can be seen from so many different perspectives. A waterfall can be seen as a wonderful thing of beauty. It can also be seen as destructive, a changing force. It can be a small trickle. I can also be a torrent. They can bring life sustaining water, or they can bring a flood. Some of the greatest waterfalls are considered some of natures greatest wonders. But close up they can also be noisy and wet. It's all in how you look at it. And which waterfall you meet. Anyway. Me. Who am I? Well. A waterfall. Pretty in my own way. And also messy. Changed by the floods and droughts of life. I'm also philosophical, apparently. And I talk a lot. Especially when I am nervous. I've struggled with anxiety since I was 5, or so I'm told. It's been there as long as I can remember. The details blur over the years, but I think the first time I also struggled with depression, that I'm aware of, was in my teens. I've always struggled. Always wondered why I felt so broken compared to everyone else. And why everything seemed extra hard for me. I was first prescribed Wellbutrin as a teen. I no longer remember what I told that doctor. Whether it was more about anxiety. Or depression. But I didn't take it. I was next prescribed Prozac when I was pregnant with my first child, at 21. I didn't take it then either. I first actually took something when I was in my twenties, I took Wellbutrin for 6-9 months. I no longer remember exactly. But other than feeling euphoric about doing something, when I first started it, I never noticed any other change. And since I wasn't supposed to take it and be pregnant, I quit, cold turkey, to become pregnant with my second child in 2010. I have always thought that I felt no symptoms after stopping. None. But now I wonder. I started a downturn in my health mid-pregnancy, beginning a sudden flare up of something akin to eczema or atopic dermatitis, in response to a cream that I had previously never reacted to. In the following months, I reacted to just about everything. Ever soap or cream or perfume I touched. I continued to struggle with general feelings of ill health, for the next several years, until I was pregnant with my 4th in 2014. The whole pregnancy was really tough. I had been pregnant three times before, but this... this time was complete misery. I told myself to survive until the baby was born. And he was. And I crashed. Hard. Really hard. I panicked. And couldn't sleep. And couldn't stay calm. And I was weak. And shaky. And so after a bit of trial and error, they put me on Clonazapam and Citalopram near the end of the year. I used the Clonazapam for a few weeks while they slowly upped the Citalopram to 40 mg. And there I stayed. It was still a struggle for quite some time, but I slowly improved. In 2016, I moved. Spring 2017, I felt like I was slipping again. Slowly feeling worse and worse, and afraid, because I was already on drugs, what would I do if I crashed now? So I went to see a different doctor. She started me on Gaba. And a few other supplements to help with sleep and general health. And then, oh, clever me, I stopped citalopram. In June. Cold turkey. Stupid. I know. I don't know anymore what I was thinking. I only remember that I thought it was a really good idea at the time. And it wasn't a planned thing. I'd missed renewing my prescription, so I hadn't taken it for about a week, so I consulted with this new doctor, and asked her if it made sense to just keep not taking it. She agreed. Gave me a prescription anyway, in case I needed some again, or if I couldn't handle it. I never took any. After that I had a decent summer. I thought all was well. I still struggled, but considering that I can't remember not struggling. Ever. I thought on the whole I was doing pretty good. Kept busy, for me anyway. I've never been able to be as busy as most people seem to be. But we went to the beach a few times. Visits to the splash pad. Some quiet days at home. Somewhere in there the new doctor started me on something called MoodRx that apparently has St. John's Wort in it. Apparently couldn't start that until I had been long enough off of the citalopram. Spent the end of the summer getting lots of veggies and berries into the freezer. Started to get a bit stressed about a visit from the in-laws. Turned my house upside-down in anticipation of their visit. And they came. And all was going well. I felt on top of the world. And then. And then I crashed. Hard. Again. Sept 18. I was spending the day with the kids and my in-laws. First I felt a bit off. But I soldiered on. I panicked in the grocery store. Felt super nauseated. But I calmed down again. Struggled off and on throughout the day until school pick-up for the kids off the bus. Then I lost it. Panicked. And couldn't calm down. Felt absolutely horrible. And I've been struggling hard ever since. Sometimes I think I'm starting to feel better. Other times I think I feel worse than ever. When it first happened, I went to the doctor a lot. We stopped the St. John's Wort stuff. Still not sure if I was having a bad reaction to it, or not. I also stopped, over time, taking everything else. At this point, the only thing I'm taking is 0.25mg of citalopram each morning, just to help me to survive. And I'm starting to try to take some vitamins and minerals again, in the hopes that it will help with some of the symptoms. At this point what makes the most sense to me, particularly in light of what I have read on this site, is that I'm suffering from withdrawal from the citalopram that I stopped back in June. And possibly made worse by a reaction to the St. John's Wort. But I really don't know what' going on. I'm scared. And I just wish I knew what was going on, and what the right thing to do was. One of the biggest things I struggle with is the fear and panic. My biggest trigger is health and physical symptoms. If I had read this site first, maybe I'd have done things differently. I like to think I would have. I also periodically have crying binges, where I just can't seem to help crying, and crying, and crying. And I'm not one who normally cries a lot. But once I've cried for a while, it seems to pass again. I've had some of the darkest, most depressed thoughts. About everything being hopeless. And pointless. Sometimes I just get irritable. One of the other major symptoms is a chest pain I have. They've already listened to my heart. Checked my blood pressure. I've had a general blood work-up twice in the last year. Once this past spring, and once last fall. Nothing came up. My iron isn't low. My blood sugar level is fine. My heart enzymes are good. But my chest hurts. This last week, my heart has started a sort of swoony/weird/almost like a flutter but not really kinda feeling. And this morning I woke up with pain in my back and neck and arm and chest. The worst I've had yet. I could barely get up this morning and I almost couldn't turn my neck. Sometimes when I did, it felt like someone was stabbing in my ear, or in my throat or chest bone. I also struggle with lot of numbness and tingling in my hands and feet. And sometimes my muscles all hurt. And sometimes my joints hurt. And I feel weak. And sometimes shaky. And did I mention panicky? And emotional? Sometimes my vision seems a little funny. Or my hearing. But it comes and then goes quickly. And is gone again. I've developed a cough, and I'm scared because I had bronchitis and strep throat 2 or 3 times last year. And that was still on the meds. And how could I forget the heart pounding? Oh, I have lots of heart pounding. Sometimes I do things, and nothing happens. But so often when I stand up. Or go up the stairs. Or wake up in the morning. Or lie down at night, my heart pounds. And pounds. I don'y know what's causing what. I just want to feel better. I've seen several different doctors. I've also seen a couple different therapists. Mostly they say there is nothing at all wrong with me, except in my head. One told me maybe it was lyme disease. Or maybe not. My main doctor wants me back on more drugs. The second lady I saw recently also wanteed me back on citalopram. I tried. I can't. If I take it. Even one 10mg pill, no matter what time of day, I wake up the following morning, early, panicking, and burning/tingling from head to toe. So my main doctor wants me to try another antidepressant. I don't want more drugs, but I'm not sure I can do without them. I just don't know what to do. Today was one of the roughest days yet. I'm in pain, and I'm panicky, and depressed and it all feels so hopeless. Since 2014, when I saw someone who gave me, for the first time, a diagnosis, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and prescription, after which I improved, my husband now believes that's the answer. My brain is broken, and I need drugs. Don't I see it? That's the only answer. So he's always pushing me to take more drugs. Take more of the clonazapam. Go back on citalopram. Get a new prescription. Just take something already! But I don't want to. Most days i can make it through with only the one Clonzapam. And that's it. But I am having a tough time. I've tried different diet options. I've tired a few different supplements. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know who's ideology to follow. So like I said. Right now, I'm taking 0.25mg Clonazapam every morning. Just to survive the day. And I don't eat dairy, or use any perfume, in order to keep the reactions in my skin to a minimum. I'm trying to take a multivitamin , plus vitamin D, a vitamin B complex, and a multi mineral. I'm most afraid of this chest/neck/back/arm pain right now. I could really use some encouragement and some help deciding which course of action to take. I've done some reading on here already and found some helpful stuff. I'm just wondering what people might have to say that's specific to my case. Feel free to point out specific threads on here that people have already written that may be helpful. And in advance, thank you. Whatever you have to offer, thank you. It's been really tough, and I can use every little bit of help I can get. And to all of you who have struggled and are struggling, I wish you all the best. I wish you health and strength. Some of you are amazing, what you've been through, or are going through, and still making it through the day, I applaud you. Some of the stuff you've dealt with sounds so much worse than what I'm dealing with. I only wish I could be half as tough as some of you are. Keep on keeping on.

Hello Forum! My name is Jackster and I live in Phoenix. I'm doing crappy... LOL Here's the story: I had been taking butalbital w/ caffeine and aspirin for migraine headaches steadily over a 30 year period. About 3 months ago, the medicine starting giving me very bad panic attacks that were sending me to the ER. I had to stop taking the medicine completetly at that time. It has been 105 days today and I am still experiencing very bad anxiety, depression, and panic attacks (which have lessoned in severity but still bad). I have been to several doctors and the only thing that helps is clonazapam which I try not to take because I know it can be an addictive problem in itself but it's the only thing that works, if I don't take it, I will be back at the ER. I also just starting taking Vistoril which seems to help me at night. I have tried several anti-depressant medicines but they all make me feel suicidal so I can't take them. I think I need some kind of mood stabilizer until this period of PAWS gets out of my system which I have read can be 6 months to 1 year. I am thinking of trying Propanolol or Gabapentin for a while and ween off the clonazapam. I am currently taking (2) .5mg tablets per day. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and I'm happy to answer any questions or discuss. Thank you so much Jackster

Hello. I started using sleeping pills many years ago because of a sudden severe insomnia. Over the years, My insomnia has gotten worse, and I had to add several different sedative medications in order to get any sleep. Currently I must take a very high dosaged cocktail, otherwise I can't sleep at all. I want to start tappering off the drugs, starting from the antideppresents. My nightly cocktail: 75 mg Amitriptyline (3 pills) 60 mg Mirtazapine (2 pills) 0.5 mg Bortizolam (2 pills) Sometimes I add 0.25-0.5 mg Clonazapem (Last nights, regularly) I also take high dosages of melatonin. Can someone offer me a specified withdrawal plan from all of these, starting from the Amitriptyline and Mirtazpine? Thank you

Hello all you lovely people, I'm a 29 year old, white, cis-woman from Canada. This is my first time posting on any site like this. And, this may be shocking, my psychiatrist is the one who suggested I do it. She is actually a wonderful woman who fully acknowledges the evils of psychiatry and how much damage pharmaceuticals have caused me and others. She acknowledges that she operates from a place of very limited information about the impacts of these drugs, and is very supportive of whatever direction I want to take my healthcare in. Anyway, here is a bit of my history ... - Difficult (yet privileged) childhood - Got into drugs during teen years - Went to residential substance use treatment at end of teens - Given Trazodone and Citalopram in 2011, stopped taking in 2012 with no issues - Abusive ex gets out of jail in 2014, I begin having debilitating panic attacks and agoraphobia. Go to hospital because I think I'm going crazy, they give me Seroquel and Ativan which calms me down but doesn't fix the situation, of course. This was my first experience with any kind of mental health issue, even through addiction I didn't experience anxiety or depression. - 2014 I go to short term, residential psychiatric facility because I couldn't function from anxiety attacks. Had to drop out of school and take time off work. Put on Citalopram, Ativan as needed, Trazodone for sleep, and Wellbutrin to counter side effects of Citalopram. Stabilized and resumed life. - 2017 attempted to taper off Wellbutrin through doctor's orders of "skip a day" tapering. Horrible experience, intense derealization, suicidality, mood swings, feeling like I would lose my mind. Again, time off school and work. Doctor reinstated the Wellbutrin. Derealization has come and gone since this attempt to get off Wellbutrin, even after reinstating. - 2018 panic attacks come back. Put on Clonazepam. Anxiety goes away. After a year on Clonazepam, I realize I'm on so many psych drugs when I don't want/need to be on any. Take a year to taper the Clonazepam in half. Another year to get off it completely. Coped with Neurofeedback, some supplements, exercise, talking. Did experience withdrawal (mostly nocturnal panic attacks) but nothing life-ruining. - 2021 begin tapering Citalopram from 20mg to nothing over the course of 18 months. Tapering Wellbutrin 5mg every 2 weeks at the same time through a compounding pharmacy. I began feeling better on lower doses of these drugs. - 2022, June: off Citalopram completely for three weeks. Feeling great. No anxiety, sleeping well, sex drive is back, feeling more and more present and less derealization. Feeling my emotions, good, bad and ugly, and happy to have them back. Compounding pharmacy couldn't fill my Wellbutrin before I left for a trip and I was already down to 40mg, so I figured I'd be fine to go off that too. Mistake. After being off everything for three weeks, psychiatrist diagnoses me with ADD and prescribes Ritalin. I take a minuscule dose, 5mg, and after it wears off begin feeling the worse derealization I've ever experienced, borderline psychosis. Extremely distressed. It lasts for three days before I caved and reinstated the Citalopram and Wellbutrin at low doses. - 2022, July: the entire month, I'm experiencing the side effects of going back on Citalopram and Wellbutrin. I regret going back on them. Nausea, headaches, issues sleeping, tremors, no sex drive, extreme brain fog... I've been on 5mg Citalopram and 40mg Wellbutrin for 6 weeks now. I feel better than I did in June when the derealization got bad, but still not feeling well at all. The plan is to taper off one at a time in a few months. Currently, I am experiencing these effects from the drugs: - excessive sweating - derealization/dissociation - confusion (I woke up one night and couldn't remember what I did for work for about five minutes) - no sex drive - passive suicidal ideation (I don't want to die at all, but these thoughts pop into my head) - nausea and low appetite - difficulty with self-care or even feeding myself - low motivation - headaches - memory loss - feeling like I'm on autopilot - feeling empty and purposeless despite having a loving family and network of friends and a successful career If you've read all this, thank-you, I appreciate you. Any feedback from any one, and specifically people with experience coming off Wellbutrin (I don't know why, but it's so hard for me) would be really appreciated. I get stuck in the mindset that I'll feel this messed up forever and that I'm doomed. I read the success/recovery/healing stories on here and it gives me a lot of hope.

Hello Everyone, I am down to 1mg of Clonazapam .5 twice a day. I take .5 at 10:00pm and .5 at 6:00am. I now wake up ever morning in terror. Dizziness. Anxiety. I just lay there for hours praying it will subside. I tapered off Clonazapam years ago and had the same thing happen until I was finally off. I have been tested for high cortisol and it was borderline high. The dr. Gave me meds to lower cortisol did not really help. I have kids and I am basically non functional until the afternoon. Any suggestions? Should I cross over to Valium? All input appreciated.

I have been suffering from this unique sleeping disorder. I dream whole night continuously and wakeup exhausted every morning. Most of the people think it's any kind of psychological disorder even doctors just prescribe antidepressants and sleeping pills. Familly members are supportive but they could only give advice like wake early, do exercise. I nearly browsed the whole internet to get an ultimate cure for this problem but got nothing except "the change your routine"advice. There are many old forums where people discussed the similar problem but now they are closed without any conclusion. I have this problem from 2013 when I was searching a job During that time I felt some anxiety so went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me 1.Clozapam 2. Paxip Cr/Citalopram. after some days i stopped it abrupty and from that day i didnot sleep a dreamless night.

Hello, My husband is on 200 mg of Zoloft and for the past five years and for the past months has been waking up about every two hours during his sleep to urinate. He also has difficulty getting it out. Sometimes he wakes up and there is just a trickle. I have found some information on line that does lead me to believe urine retention can be a side effect of SSRIs, however his psychiatric nurse doesn't think so. Have others experienced this as a side effect of SSRI's or other antidepressants? He was considering tapering to help with his sleep however, we are also dealing with intense grief during this time because our son recently died a traumatic death. Both the psychiatric nurse nor I felt tapering was a good idea right now, but my husband was suggesting it. If he is open to it and willing to, should we support him in this decision? My other question is would it be a good idea for him to taper if it helps him heal from urine retention and perhaps get better rest? The psychiatric nurse recently started him on Clonazepam and it seems his grief is more intense, he is more anxious and even talking about not wanting to live, which he did not do before the Clonazepam. Thanks for reading and I look forward to any guidance you might be able to share with me. Kato

I want to share my heart out,I want to share my life. I lived 31 yrs of life. the life of sadness,hurt,betrayal,getting used,unrequited love, Dream which gets shattered,Health which got lost,Financed which ruined,Engagement which break twice,Got fired from the job which I love.hope which I got lost in all these but just little remains… May be I am not a very strong guy, or below things are very little for other people but for me it really shattered me with the brain I have.I want to write here because of two reasons:- Please bear with my bad English. To get words of support. Others may learn something from this. Birth(Dec 1987):- Bully(15yrs) I was a silent kid,deeply introverted.afraid to go out and dominate the world.Never in my life I had more than 2 or 3 friends.Never associated with any groups anywhere.Because of my silent nature and understanding of the world differently relatives and neighbors thinks that I am not of sound mind and they normally called me “sirri” (a word which describe a person as stupid with no mind”).Even my family used to call me the same, this has impacted my childish mind deeply and my confidence sank to earth every time someone called me that.though I was good in studies but not very vocal and someone who bully others just because other one is not dominatable nature. I hate these types of person even up until now.and I also choose very very carefully to whom I can open. these things keep going on till I turn around 15 or in 10th standard. and that was really a sad time.but I forgot and moved on. My teenage love(8 yrs) Its starts in early stages when hormones change occurs. My first Love.real,pure,deep,full of emotions.absolutely overwhelming.till date I have not forget those days. she was in my class sat next to my desk. I fall in love or whatever you will say infatuation. she belongs to other community. I knew marriage is not possible. I never tried to approach or propose.I knew even if I propose she will not accept.I was not handsome or a topper or may be I was insecure.I loved her deeply . Did many things those times of school like pick some flowers on my way to school and put it in her desk,looking at her whole time during school,wrote a diary, wrote some poetry also for her.cried every other day at home that I will not have her in my life.I also did those stupid thing of writing the name of your beloved from blood in your diary.lol. one incident I remember one day our teacher asked us to perform some activities, every student performed something like dance or cracked a joke. when my turn came I sang a song ”yai zamin ruk jaaye aasma jhuk jaaye tera chahra jab nazar aaye” by looking in to her eyes directly without any fear , in front of whole class and also a teacher.there are many many memories of such type.I never had a problem because I never insist her for anything. everybody knows that I loved her so much whenever anyone asked me I accepts wholeheartedly yes. she knows it. the way she looked towards me I still remember. I remember the day of parting also . it was day of 10th class last day when I got the news that she will about to leave school permanently,I become extremely sad and I know anyhow I have to bear this pain of loosing someone so close and to look at her become a daily oxygen to me. I was in deep pain. that day I thought to tell her my feelings by my own. she used to go to home through same bus stand from which I go.every day. that day I waited at stand for about 3 hrs because she was enjoying with her friends, I was desperate that today I ll tell her my feelings as after this day I will never see her. I saw her coming. she saw me from a distance and she sensed also about things. I come directly in front of her and said that I wanted to say something to you which you already know all these years.she asked me to say it.I uttered those three words.she listened and asked me if anything more I wanted to say I replied No.she left in a bus. I stayed there dont know how much longer, felt like dead. then came back home.and cried hell.my sisters consoled me so much. I couldnt did anything. so I tried to save this as a sweet memory in my heart.later when I went in college then I got toknow that she took admission in Dental school, I got her number some how and from my college far away from home I called her at every festival of her and her birthday continiously 4 yrs . then she become dentist and I got the news that she is getting married.to one of my other class mate. I became habitual about this. acceptance was there.those were the days of orkut, I dont know how many of you young guys know about orkut. its like first social media site in India those days. later I saw her some times on facebook and now she is living happily with her husband and a daughter. I left her there and locked her there in my heart to never open it up.and got busy in another things. Science and engineering(3yrs) Once I passed 10th and she left me then I have so much anger and resentment that I put all these on studies.I was a below average student got just 60% in 10th and ours was a govt school, that time I cant write or speak a single sentence in English.but somehow as all good students left the school so I got the admission in science section in 2004, there were 34 students, I studied very hard and came first that year only 8 students passed. in the next year also I did so much hard work and came first in my Class Editori was not that I got very good marks but the resources and kind of teachers I have in my govt school I did my best and came first in 12th also with 70% marks. I was so much fearful of science but my mother who was always there for me encouraged me that I can do it so I did passed it.in those 2 years i knew nothing about anything except studies I used to have one FM radio in my room some songs I hear every day like “love guru on radio city 91.1” if any of you remember.then after 12th was another struggle for career.Didnt know what to choose for further studies.I wanted to go to army.gave NDA also didnt passed.a friend came and suggest me to do coaching for engineering.I liked the idea it was the year 2006. I joined a reputed coaching in Delhi.studied day and night to pass the entrance.sometimes I got so much confident that I will do it sometimes i got frustrated.it was too much of studies for an avg student.year gone hopes begin. gave all engineering entrance examintation of delhi state and national level. like aieee and iit’s results came , didnt get selected in any one of them , got so much disheartened. you can understand how bad I was I got rank 131000 in AIEEE and for IIT I failed, DCE got 8000 rank.so no admission in any of these college. I gave uptu exam also and there I got 32953 rank and i got a change for counselling.Unfortunately there I made a blunder and even I was getting so many college in NCR Delhi region I put some college in sitapur in UP as my second choice because i foolishly thought that that were a govt college.and here begins a 4 year trauma of living in almost hell. Hostel life living away from parents If you read this far you must have understood what kind of a guy I am, so living away from parents and from New Delhi to a town of UP and college hosted in jungle and mostly the kind of people I interacted there.it was really not good. I was very much dishearted but being from a middle class family with so much of a hope from parents that my son will one day earn well and take us away from this life of hardship.I continued the battle and didnt drop out even if I wanted badly.there was not a single day in these 4 yrs when I didnt talked to my mother back home at every evening, I dont know how many times I cried that Its very very difficult to live without you guys.(tears just come to my eyes by just remembering those bad days.)Thank god he gave me one friend and a room partner with whom I was able to pass that worst time. I marked 8 lines in my diary and after every semester I crossed those one mark to able to see how much of it left to go back home. that was the best day when I was coming back last time and my family was very happy that there son became an Engineer, one more thing we with my friend decided that we will not have any affair or relationship and will directly marry. so no girlfriend type of a thing there also.Few attractions were there but I killed them and not regretting about that. Fear of studies and homesickness,Masturbation and Pornography,Falling into depression(11 yrs) This hit me bad when I was in 2nd year of age of 22yrs. I got very afraid that I cant continue in this engineering thing as this is very tough and even If I pass the exams still I will not able to do the real engineering job as this required so much brain I keep telling this to my parents and my father keep encouraged me that initially things looks tough but slowly it will get better.so I decided that whatever happen I will definately achieve this degree.I had so much pressure of homesickness(its that much you can understand that after coming back home in 2011 I have not left my hometown Delhi ), Pornography was there in college its normal thing even now I know.and I was not into these things that much. but I got addicted to masturbation like once in a week and pornography also. and I certainly believe that this masturbation and porn habit though it was not that much as with other people. it give me one of the deadliest disease which i cant even explain to you, whoever young among you is reading this I am warning you and pleading you, please leave these two devils completely out of your life else it will ruin you.this thing weakens my brain in 3rd semester i have got started rigorous hairfall,weakness of body and mind, but that time i was not able to understand because I got my body strength back in 2 days. for my mind it was normal but in reality this habit of masturbation causing deep harm to my body. which i was not able to control despite all my efforts.so in 2008 when I came back to delhi i got hit by mental illness there were symptoms severe headache, confusion,lost focus, memory issue, unable to take decisions and many more. this goes heightened also because i stuck in one more thing which is killing me, what is the true path of life,why so many religions and God and I wanted to know the truth I studied various religious scriptures also and I got so much feared that I cant die without knowing the truth.and I cant follow my parents religion without knowing for sure that it is correct or not.unfortunately I had to to a psychiatrist and here begins a trauma which is still going on they gave me that magic pill. a medications which can sort my mind out. I ,a young lad, trusted the doctors that yeah they are right in whatever they prescribe and in last 2 years of my studies this doctor gave me 7 different kind of antidepressents which numbed me actually. when I came back from college then I went to govt hospital in Delhi to a psychiatrist and he there stops all the medication and said that all this was not necessary and I was misdiagnosed, there I started with a small medication of just 10mg trusted this doctor and no doubt it helped me so much but over the years when i was stable in about 2014 i wanted to stop but my parents does not want me to stop and even my doctor. and I knew that this medication slowly killing me frm inside those who never use antidepressents can never understand what I am saying, just think that this tablet create a numbing effect on you or take away all your real emotions it makes you a zombie. and give you heightened emotions sometimes when not required also it hurt me so badly I cant even explain you some incident :- in one of my early interview I was crying sitting on footpath with fear that how will i be able to live this hard life.how will people earn.when I enter the room interviewer gave me a glass of water and ask me to come back after a month and dont panic. I was in so mch pressure of getting a job after my degree and it was tough. I got selected in one IT recruitment company and on third day i got so much un restless and fearful without any reason that i left my desk went to manager cabin locked my self inside and lie down on floor and slept and after 2 hrs manager open the door from different key and from next day they didnt picked me up for a job. Crying in washrooms is extremely common whenever my boss scold me or anybody hurts me.up until now.i never told anybody in my office that i am suffering from some brain disease else they will fire me I know. many more incident like this in my life. Searching for job after passing from tier 3 college and work till now(since 2011) this is a common story of many many guys of my type. Funny thing was that I didnt knew how to search a job and what a job is all about and how to plan a career , I knew nothing, first six month after completing a degree I left everything and just rested because I got exhausted and most probably this was a blunder. I was started searching a job and joined one of my friend in his company as Recruiter. after six month i got introduced by one of my relative of govt job and I shifted my focus in govt job preparation because the relative made a pressure on me to have a govt job cos he selected me for his girl.this i wll tell in next section in detail.then I joined a part time job in a call center because i was in another trauma as my first engagement broke and I didnt knew what to do ahead as one year already passed. so I worked there 14 months in just 4k rs pm. then I left to work in noida and good company call center and got ok amount 17500 pm worked there also 14 months till 2015 and then I was totally unsured what to do now, so I was getting promoted to quality manager there but after a degree that is not what I wanted to do so i decided that I will do a job in software anyhow.and after that I will decide further.so I left that job also and join another company in 20k pm worked there 6 months gathered all money then left and join one training institute in Noida and get my self trained there for 6 months and then gave interviews in IT companies as a fresher i had a 6 years gap. i got rejected by 11 companies and 12 one selected me. there I worked 2+ years. they have exploited me to the core and I was so much naive that I didnt understand that.I was a java guy and they asked me to learn .net so it was a do or die for me they gave only 3000 pm for training for first 4 months. i had my savings i never mind I wanted to learn . but i think now I stuck in wrong company . they trained me in .net then gave me a project of devops . i introduced devops by learning all by myself from internet whatever I can.created automatic infrastructure the best way I can alone. then they asked me to learn android then angular then big data omg it was overwhelming.I made one app backend its still live on playstore. and maintain many other . despite having my depression and other problems taking tool on my mental health. from last year oct 2018 many incident happened back to back that i asked my manager and ceo to give me off for a month they denied then i told them about my depression and they asked me to leave saying i am not able to work.they indireclty fired me in feb 2019. since then Its been 8 months i am at home. Engagement and breakup This was really tough when I came back in 2011 from college I went to one of my relative who is asst engg. in Delhi govt for guidance and help and he chose me for his daughter . I was on cloud nine . very happy . new graduate , got engaged to a beautiful girl , she is a lawyer. we fall in love. or I am wrong actually I fall in love. girls dont fall in love may be its very easy for them to move on . we got engaged for one year and as I told you earlier her father wish me to live as he asked me , he keeps me lecture every time.i got frustrated. I got a bit religious and the girl said to her father that he cant live with a religious type boy, I told her that now we are engaged dont do this , you will live the way you want to. but she got adamant and her father also.and said I become conservative and girls wants a handsome boys. i was just become simple nothing else. like simplest dresses , she doesnt like the way I dress. she asked me to change this or she will not live with me , I told her father that your daughter cant be happy with me why are you doing this to her. please stop. they dont want to stop but they want to change me , few things she said to me after a year of engagement which i still remember that , I ll have a dark future with you, why you come to my father for a job, I cant live the life of restrictions until this time I got so attached to her but I cant compromise on the way of life i am living.so I have to leave her . it was a big thing for all family and mostly on me because i was alone in this decision and my family is not in my support that time. they used to say “shadi karlo baad me jese marzi rahna who will say anything.” this breakup also shattered me , I have to move on I started a job in a call center parttime. Life in a call centre(2.5yrs) I think every graduate should work in call center for six month and not more than that. what I will write here about that it was also working hell.lol.every minute is counting 3 comapnies of call center I worked all same.they count every minute you go to washroom, toilet, outside, and thats also every day. its like work is not more on some day or less on some day. it s that work is there always.and its simply sucks.its only for high energy young people , it enhances your communication and stress management,more then six month is not good. Leaving the job and preparing for it after 6 years This was a big decision as I told you. I took it and succeeded. after a gap of six years and working hell of call center I think that now is the time that I have to move on to my job. and I took the chance. I started learning programing from for loop and learned 6 months all basic and algorithms, linked list and what not. Getting my first IT job as a associate software engineer(2+yrs) That was one of the happiest day of my life that I deserve my degree to some extent at least as out of 8 candidates that day I was the only one that was able to solve the programming problem and get selected.such a happy day it was. Rigorous learning again(2yrs) for 2 years I learned so much things, .net upto mvc. front end, devops, some big data,api, etc etc etc.. Emotional affair with married woman and heartbreak This I cant tell you what it did to me .its long story if you want to read I asked the question related to same on quora last year, that time idint knew that much worst ahead read link https://justpaste.it/41enq she broke me 70% almost. but good thing was I knew I am wrong in that just this one thing gives me strength to come out of this. Getting fired from my job This is what I was not able to bear and I informed to my bosses that I need a break and they gave me permanent break…..lol. Emotional affairs within girl other caste and fight with parents. another blow omg that time I was desperate for marriage so that I can free from this emotional and physical requirement. I got a contact from a girl from a matrimonial site and we talked around one month and she have all what I wanted , education looks religiousness. we met , we liked each othe and I though now things will get settled and I told her that I will not take anything in dowry and I jst want marriage asap , initially she was hesitant to disclose this in front to her parents before the assurance from my side. and I was 100% sure from my parents side that they will not deny at all. because of whatever happened with me . so I told her . and then I informed my parents but surprisingly my father denied completely and said that go and marry, but leave my house as the girl from other caste , i requeste them so much that after this much long i liked some girl whom i can marry and she knows everything about me , please let me do so. all my family member that time got hold of fake izzat. any how I agree my mother to atleast see the girl they went with me there home and as I know they rejected as our community wont accpet them. so I was very very disheartened but I kept my patience and trust on God that things will get better.It unable to start , i felt so much guilty , the girl cried for 3 days . I asked forgiveness said i can t go against my parents wishes. Second engagement and breakup From there they take me to there relatives who have many daughters to choose from someone and I chose one because I wanted to marry asap. they liked me then again we talked and my sister also to a girl . everyting going fine . the girl side very mch interested for this relationship they want to fix the engagement asap. the day before they are coming to fix this . I dnt want it to be fix on some lie. i called a girl and informed her about my health issue and career issue. they came and got reluctant and without fixing anything went back then after second day they asked us to come to fix things , I was again on cloud nine hundred nine that finally everything fixed. I told them that I have good experience and no problem of a job , i will have a job soon . and for my health I will try to stop the medications. but one thing happened in informing all these to them that I lost my value.and they now are taking me for granted. aisa behave tha jese ahsaan kar rahe hain…we all went there house for engagment , I bought a diamond ring for her , clothes for her of my choice. with my relatives we went there. its not in my mind but my relatives dont like there hosting and made a drama. there come too many things for next 2 days and finally they cancelled the engagement , I asked them to atleast once let me talk to her. what happened.but they didnt allow. I got bedridden for a month. Lost all hope and will to live in all these days my medications jumps from 10mg to 225mg. and it has its side effects also. after last incident I lost all my wish to live at all. I prayed god to please take me away from this world.Because I will never do suicide . its against my religion and believes. but inside me nothing left. this happened in june 2019 and I am able to do lil works in oct and writing now. i decided to left my medications also whatsoever. I will not live a live on medications.If i will live , It will be my own. though I dnt want to live at all this kind of life.I have lost my health career relationship. from last 6 months i dont have any money . my parents giving me just for survival. 1000 pm I am surviving. locked up in my room, left my medications to 66% just 75mg remains. it hurt my body very badly. when I woke up in morning there is a swelling too much of my face every day. i cant focus to do simple work on computer continiously for 3 hrs. but death has not yet occured. so i think still something remains on earth. i am trying to recover. and hoping that good days may come. I have not achieved what I dreamed of. I want to live on the lap of God. The most hurtful thing is my brain condition which is not able to handle simple stresses like above many people may handle above things easily. but its really tough for me now very much . I really dont know what is the life of happiness. though I am fortunate to have able parents who even can support me now.but from inside nothing left. now I am really afraid to continue in engineering because i fear more pressure on brain will do harm to my brain . and rest I dont know what to do. Recovering and never give up I also wanted to live a happy life like many others.I will not suicide. but I dont know until when I can able to handle these pressures.Because now my body and mind is not giving me enough support to fight these pressures.I know people have more hardships then me but its not comparable with anyone to anyone. Positive things in my life:- God Almighty My parents, super supportive, and very patient I love them Hope Good home with all basic facilities My lovely nieces and nephews I am proud that I achieved many things which I decided, like I didn't achieved many. Few good friends. Aur bhi bht hoga jo mujhe abhi yaad nahi aa rha. Thank you God Bless you all.

doses.odtI started a linear taper of 10% in April 2021. Now I am at half dose of Clonazapam and somewhere around 70 percent dose of Zoloft. This week I hit a wall. Bad sleeping is my main problem when I taper. I wake with restless legs, urge to go number 2, and can either go back to sleep or not. The reason I am doing a more rapid taper is liver problems and believe me this current dose has me physically feeling better than I have in years. My gut tells me to go back up to 70 percent dose of Clonazapam and do a hyperbolic taper from there. Does this sound reasonable. I don't want to lose progress with my health problems, but that has to balance with another crash not happening.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version) Begin gradually in February 2021 to take drugs with a doctor's supervision or get an antipsychiatrist Male , 42 years old, various unfinished psycho-emotional situations in childhood I started smoking tobacco at 15 years old, in 2000 I was working in a mini factory, I got intoxicated with Tinner painting in a basement without any safety measures, I was welding, cutting wood and it was all very toxic, (iron filings, sawdust, argon welding, (TINNER). In that same year family problems, confused thoughts, paranoia, I left home, spent 3 days on the street, was found and admitted to a psychiatric hospital for 1 month, aggressive. I had 5 sessions of electroshock or they called it micro narcosis. Several pills, blurred vision. Medical opinion (brief psychotic state, possible Schizophrenia) I left the hospital I don't remember which pills I took. Year 2002 I moved to England, I remember taking quetiapine, (Seroquel) Feelings of loneliness, fear and anguish. In 2003 I moved to Spain with my father after he left us when I was 6 years old. I remember taking PROMISE 200mg. Year 2005 in Spain I had surgery for Thyroid Cancer. Year 2008 very difficult situation, I don't know why I stopped the medication, I was washing the dishes after playing a football game and I had convulsions and I cut my hand, (my father thought that I wanted to injure myself, I could explain him after 6 years that they were convulsions and in the emergency room there was a record of attempted suicide that because of bad communication remained like that. I was not admitted. In 2012 I will return to Uruguay, my home country. I remember continuing with Promise 200mg and clonazepam. Year 2017 difficult situation taking care of my 95 years old grandfather in his house, together with my mother, lack of work for not socializing well, confusion, anxiety, fast movements, occasional insomnia, confused thoughts, social isolation, ( quetiapine 100mg and clonazepam 2mg) , levothyroxine 200mg x day. My mother gets breast cancer, she has about 15 operations in her life, always with doctors, pills and negativism. I am admitted in psychiatric hospital, this time not aggressive, they were paranoia according to me, I was 1 month and I go out taking quetiapine 100mg 1 x day, Olanzapine 10mg 1 x day, clonazepam 2mg 1 x day if I am very anxious ½ sublingual, . January 2020 depression (lack of work, socialising, sport, isolation, negative thoughts about life in general) supply Sertraline 50mg. Current medication : quetiapine 100mg 1 x day, Olanzapine 10mg 1 x day, Clonazepam 2mg 1 x day, Sertraline 50mg 1 x day, levothyroxine 200mg 1 x day. I wrote a book in the middle of the pandemic that helped me a lot, working twice a week. Hyperactivity, anxiety, compulsive thoughts, negative thoughts from time to time. I never had thoughts of suicide or of hurting anyone. I want to stop taking the pills little by little, that's why I came to this forum that little by little I'm going to discuss, I'm looking for help to stop taking the drugs, and I'm a compulsive smoker. Thank you very much if someone can help me. Cordial greetings and how good it is that there is this space to be able to express oneself. Original post: Empezar poco a poco en Febrero del 2021 de tomar fármacos con supervisión de un médico o conseguir un antipsiquiatra Masculino , 42 años, situaciones varias psicoemocionales inacabadas en la infancia empecé a fumar tabaco a los 15 años, en el año 2000 trabajaba en una mini fábrica, me intoxiqué con Tinner pintando en un sótano sin medidas ninguna de seguridad, soldaba, cortaba la madera y era todo muy tóxico, (limaduras de hierro, aserrín, soldadura de argón, (TINNER). En ese mismo año problemas familiares, pensamientos confusos, paranoia, me fui de casa estuve 3 días en la calle, me encontraron y me internaron en hospital psiquiátrico por 1 mes, agresivo. Me hicieron 5 sesiones de electroshock o le llamaban micro narcosis. Pastillas varias, visión borrosa. Dictamen médico (Estado psicótico breve, posible Esquizofrenia) Salí del hospital no recuerdo que pastillas tomaba. Año 2002 me traslado a Inglaterra, recuerdo tomar quetiapina, (Seroquel) Sentimientos de soledad, miedo y angustia. Año 2003 me traslado a España junto con mi padre luego de que nos abandonase cuando tenía 6 años, decido perdonar. Recuerdo tomar PROMETAR 200mg. Año 2005 en España me operan de Cáncer de Tiroides. Año 2008 situación muy difícil, no sé por qué deje la medicación, estaba lavando los platos después de jugar un partido de fútbol y me vinieron convulsiones y me corté la mano, (mi padre pensaba que me quise auto lesionar, pude explicarle luego de 6 años que fueron convulsiones y en emergencias quedó el antecedente de intento de suicidio que por mala comunicación quedo así. No me internaron. Año 2012 vuelvo a Uruguay mi país Natal. Recuerdo seguir con Prometar 200mg y clonazepam. Año 2017 situación difícil cuidando a mi abuelo de 95 años en la casa de él, junto con mi madre, falta de trabajo por no sociabilizar bien, confusión, ansiedad, movimientos rápidos, insomnio ocasional, pensamientos confusos, aislamiento social, ( quetiapina de 100mg y clonazepam de 2mg) , levotiroxina 200mg x día. A mi madre le viene cáncer de mama, ella sin mentir tiene como 15 operaciones en su vida, siempre con médicos, pastillas y negativismo. Me internan en hospital psiquiátrico, esta vez no agresivo, fueron paranoias según yo, estuve 1 mes y salgo tomando quetiapina de 100mg 1 x día, Olanzapina de 10mg 1 x día, clonazepam 2mg 1 x día si estoy muy ansioso ½ sublingual, . Enero del 2020 depresión (falta de trabajo, sociabilizar, deporte, aislamiento, pensamientos negativos sobre la vida en general) suministran Sertralina de 50 mg. Medicación actual : quetiapina de 100mg 1 x día, Olanzapina de 10mg 1 x día, Clonazepam 2mg 1 x día, Sertralina de 50mg 1 x día, levotiroxina 200mg 1 x día. Escribí un libro en plena pandemia que me ayudó mucho, trabajando 2 veces por semana. Hiperactividad, ansiedad, pensamientos compulsivos, pensamientos negativos de a ratos. No tuve nunca pensamientos de suicidio ni de lastimar a nadie. Quiero ir dejando las pastillas muy poco a poco, por eso acudí a este foro que poco a poco voy a ir debatiendo, busco ayuda para poder dejar los fármacos, y soy fumador compulsivo. Muchas gracias si alguien me puede ayudar. Saludos cordiales y que bien que haya este espacio para poder expresarse.

Hi Everyone I apologize for so much information at once I'm too sick to do a full brand new post so I have copied and pasted posts from support groups on facebook I was directed here too for help. I am in desperate need to know if I should reinstate any of my medications or if it is too risky. I was wondering if I should try taking the lyrica again then do a proper taper, the psychiatrist put me on for my anxiety I never had pain before I took it until he took me off it too fast I first started getting the muscles contractions and horrible muscle cramp pain and had my first uncontrollable muscle movement episode of my face after the lyrica was stopped with only a 4 day taper which I did not know was too quickly I had been on it for 5 weeks. I think the lyrica stopped so suddenly started it all but then the escitalopram and trazadone tapers and getting off them too quickly just made everything worse. I have been so desparate in my thinking to see if there is a way to reverse this what I think may be dystonia that I have been thinking should I try to go back onto the lyrica to see if this disappears and then do a really slow proper taper but then I think it is so risky what if I really mess myself up worse but living with this and with it only being so soon 4.5 months and I have so much pain already I already cannot handle it I cannot imagine handling it any worse. I'm so afraid and do not know what to do I'm afraid that this will not go away with time if it is the dystonia. What does anyone think do you think trying lyrica again would be worth the risk? it is so hard to know what to do considering I had 3 too fast drug tapers. Does anyone think this would be too risky? I'm sure I have developed dystonia more and more everyday it scares me. I can feel my waist and hips turning to the left and I have less control of my legs then normal and the feel wobbly or like spaghetti or elasticy I don't know how to describe it and my neck and head want to turn to the left I feel like a force is pushing it to the left. Also I feel the muscles in my face moving mainly wanting to pull down especially in my jaw area and my neck and face muscles get tight. I also have had 3 times where I have had uncontrollable movements of my face that lasted for hours the first one was the worst that happened right after I was stopped on the lyrica in the hospital that included my eyes, tongue protruding and mouth, pretty much my whole face and my neck and right arm twisting to the left the nurse told me it was anxiety and to calm down I did not believe her that it was anxiety I have had anxiety long enough to know it does not do that. Since then I have had 2 more episodes that involved then same area's but not my tongue. I'm very scared of my future and no doctors will say the drugs have anything to do with it. Also my hands, wrists and lower arms get stiff throughout most of the day. My muscles get unbearably painful a very very deep bone consistent aching pain. I was able to move around today more and do some things in the kitchen and I did notice the pain lessened while I was more active. This is when I really noticed though I'm definitely dealing with the twisting of my right side of my body to the left. It makes me walk around like I look intoxicated. I really respect all you peoples opinions and knowledge and have some questions to ask if you would not mind. I was wondering could it get better or go away and just be a part of withdrawals or once this happens do you have it for life? Have been off antidepressants for for 3 to 4.5 months (too fast tapers) had been on poly drugged for 1.5 years then before that on citalopram for 10 years. A huge mess I was fine for the first 10 years developed insomnia and my anti was switched to trazadone and when that did not work the poly drugging happened for 1.5 years (I was a zombie and almost entirely non function able still am but no longer a zombie but I am extremely sick now riddled with unlivable pain still suffer from insomnia and take unfortunately 7.5mg zopiclone and 1mg clonazepam a day) but these last few days my muscle pain, uncontrollable cramping, stiffness, tightness in my head, face, throat, neck, right arm/hand, shoulder and sometimes my left arm/hand and also episodes of uncontrollable muscle movements of my face is so unbearable lately I cannot handle it any longer. Today I have been at my wits end desperately not thinking I can go on any longer. I am so sick fluish this last few months also I'm getting to the point the pain in intolerable another minute it is almost 24/7 I have only had the muscle pain or tightness cramping go away for maybe a half hour a few times in the last month. It is too much. I was so sick before all this for the last 1,5 years that I am so weak I cannot this week get myself to hardly eat and bathe the pain is so intense I want to it all to end. No one can help me. I need to desperately no what to do. The pain is like you have if you get a severe cramp or charlie horse for instance this morning it has been a constant charliehorse in my lower right arm and hand, right shoulder, neck, face and head. It is so painful I only could sleep for a couple hours last night. I even took a baclofen (which I only have taken maybe 6 times in the last 3 months when I feel I can no longer take the pain another minute), 2 advils, clonazepam and all my vitamins. I just do not know how to go on any longer. I have no support group at home. My husband is my only person I have and he along with my doctor think my pain is psychosomatic. My husband cannot tolerate my complaining or crying or making any sounds of or about my pain. I don't know how to make the pain stop or live with it anymore so it is tolerable. I cannot handle the suffering anymore I literally am desperate for help so badly. Since lyrica was one of the last meds I was on that the pain started after the psychiatrist took me off with only a 4 day taper and that is when the nerve and muscle cramping, movements and severe head pain started I do not know if I should try to reinstate after being off it for 4.5 months but I think it is too risky but then again I'm desperate for this muscle pain relief i am so afraid I have the early stages of dystonia too. I have had episodes of uncontrollable muscle movements of my face, neck and right arm. I am so afraid of that. But this muscle pain is so intense it is unimaginable I really need to numb this pain somehow. The severe head pain migraine burning so painful 24/7 and the piercing tinnitus. Even the numbness, tingling burning nerve pain allover but the worst is the muscle pain it is so severe. Whenever I try to type on the computer this all makes my pain levels go up so much worse but I need the help so badly, emotional support. I am desperate I feel for my sanity and my life, I need knowledge so bad. I want to do everything right now. I want to get better if there is any chance. I need something to keep me strong to endure this it feels like I am being tortured daily and have to put up with it because no one will listen to me. I wish I would have been thinking clearly enough to search out support groups before I let him put me on these meds or atleast before they were stopped or the too quick tapers. I cannot stop thinking about wanting to turn back time. I hope my life is not ruined forever unless I can get this pain under a tolerable level and I pray to god I do not have dystonia but I fear I do from having joined a dystonia support group on here it sounds all to familiar. I do not know how I can make it through life with no support, knowing my doctor is not listening to me and my husband is not trying to help get me better just not wanting me to bother him with my pain or worries, be silent. How do I survive this? I cannot hardly look after myself being so sick, I have nowhere to go. Does anyone else that had been off antidepressants for as around long as I have 4.5 months or longer experience this muscle cramping, severe pain? Please explain where in your body and the level of pain? Also any uncontrollable muscle movements? What do you take besides magnesium for the pain? Does anyone ever recover from antidepressants withdrawals/pain after stopping them too quickly after being on antidepressants for 12 years? Brief History Born August 1, 1970. Female 48 years old. At time of illness Tracy had been a National Lifeguard Instructor Trainer and Lifesaving Society Instructor Trainer with a career as an Aquatic Supervisor at an indoor town pool for 5 years. Training and certifying Lifeguard/Swimming Instructors, supervising daily duties of lifeguards/Instructors/front deck staff as well as implementing and maintaining programming, scheduling, operational procedures and guidelines. Before that Tracy had owned and operated her own Day Spa for 10 years as well as worked in advertising. She graduated from college in 1993 in Graphic Design/Advertising Art. Tracy fell ill from insomnia in September of 2018 she had been just diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and had just started cpap therapy but found the treatment invasive and could not tolerate the cpap treatment enough to fall asleep with the cpap machine. She had been lead to believe she would die in her sleep if she did not use her cpap machine and became fearful and so persistent in always using her cpap machine while sleeping that her intolerance to the therapy resulted in severe insomnia. Citalopram 20 mg/day and 1mg Clonazepam as needed for 10 years prior to her insomnia. Clonazepam was rarely needed. Dec. 14, 2018 Citalopram 20 mg/day was changed to Trazodone 100mg/day. Clonazepam 1mg/twice a day. Mental Health declined due to sleep deprivation, becoming emotionally weak and sensitive, frequent crying, anxiety and ability to function daily declined. Was no longer able to work due to 3 months of insomnia and mental health decline after medication change. Feb. 9 -16, 2019 Psychiatric Ward Sertraline 20mg/day was tried but discontinued due to side effects. 20 mg/day Citalopram was added to the Trazodone 100mg/day. Clonazepam 1mg/ twice a day. Was very ill on the combination. After Feb. 16 – June, 2019 Citalopram 20 mg was discontinued and Trazodone 100mg was tapered and stopped. Clonazepam was tapered to .5mg then switched to Valium 10mg and tapered to 2mg, Buspirone 10mg was added then stopped. By this time insomnia had become extremely severe and ability to function daily on the most basic level was lost. Anxiety was severe and dehabilitating. June 1 - August 9, 2019 Psychiatric Ward Quetiapine 100mg/day added. Citalopram 50mg/day started then after 5 weeks discontinued due to intolerable side effects and switched to Mirtazapine 45mg/day, Fluoxetine 20mg/day, Zopiclone 7.5 mg, Clonazepam .5mg/twice a day. Discharged feeling very drugged. Was able to sleep with cpap machine 7-8 hours/night(every 24 hours) Had regained ability to keep up hygiene and function on a basic level. Mentally was very out of it. Aug. 9/2019 – Nov. 12, 2019 Due to feeling so drugged from Sept. 9/2019 Fluoxetine 20mg was tapered and stopped on Oct. 2/2019. Clonazepam was increased to 1mg/twice a day. Oct. 14 – Oct. 19/2019 felt the best that I ever had felt since falling ill in fall of 2018 but my mind and body felt very weak and fragile but then for no known reason I went past the feeling better stage and started to decline back into having a hard time functioning mentally and physically but could still do daily functioning tasks. I was able to keep good daily hygiene, cook supper, keep the dishes washed, take on a small cleaning task every day for example wash off a coffee table or do wash a load of clothes. Nov. 12/2019 – Dec. 12/2019 Hospital Was admitted at routine doctors appointment to the hospital since I had declined from starting to feel better and I continued to decline during the Quetiapine taper. Quetiapine 100mg was tapered and stopped, Zopiclone was reduced to 3.5mg/day, Clonazepam was increased to 1mg/three times a day After this I started to feel like I was improving as in not feeling so drugged and I was mentally and physically able to function better. I suggested staying on Mirtazapine 45mg for awhile to see if I would stabilize on it and be ok my doctor did not agree so the Mirtazapine 45mg was tapered to 15mg and I was started on Escitalopram 10mg. I was on this combination for the last week I was in the hospital before going into a different psychiatric ward for a second opinion on a treatment. My body felt good no body sensations or pain but a small headache and my mind felt weak but not bad cognitively, my anxiety was mid range level to high. I questioned in my mind whether I should still go to the psychiatric ward and if I could handle living this way and if I would get better but arrangements had already been made and I thought at the time maybe I could get stabilized there on the Escitalopram if it worked and have my ability to sleep maintained. On my initial appointment my husband and I had with the psychiatrist before entering he had said his goal was to get me on only the Escitalopram and hopefully if my anxiety could get reduced I may be able to sleep without and sleeping medication. Being on only one medication sounded good. Dec. 12, 2019 – Feb. 3, 2020 2nd psychiatric ward Mirtazapine was stopped, Escitalopram had just been increased to 15mg/day, Clonazepam was reduced to 1mg/twice a day. Zopiclone was increased to 7.5mg. The first week of being there I felt really good I had no body pain or sensations, my mind was clear but felt weak but I was thinking well. My anxiety was high during the day but after my evening clonazepam dose of 1mg I felt anxiety free and really good but I was getting very tired again as my sleeping had started to decline since the Mirtazapine had been stopped. Escitalopram was increased to 20mg as the next couple of weeks progressed and then I felt drugged and out of it again, not fully present and was no longer able to think as clearly my basic functioning was on the low range but I was able to keep up my daily hygiene and attend groups. Lyrica 100mg/day was started on Dec. 29 for anxiety. Clonazepam was switched afterwards to Lorazepam .5 mg twice a day then shortly after discontinued. I had not wanted to take the Lyrica because the goal had been to have me on as little medications as possible and I did not have nerve pain but the psychiatrist said it was better to be on Lyrica then Clonazepam. Feeling pressured to try it I gave in. Trazodone 100mg/day was started on Jan. 14/2010 and within the first week after that I started to experience muscle pain throughout different areas of my body and developed a constant migraine headache, sweats, chills, ear pain, nausea and constant diarrhea. I did start to sleep longer but could not fall asleep with my cpap machine anymore. Since Trazodone had not worked well for me in the past while being on it and the citalopram at the same time I was not comfortable going on it but the psychiatrist told me he would take me off it if I did not feel well on it. At this point I was not thinking clearly and wanted to not make the psychiatrist give up on trying to get me better and I felt extremely pressured to not go against his treatment plan. I told the nurses and my psychiatrist during the last 3 weeks I was there that I thought the Trazodone and Lyrica had me take a turn for the worst and that I was very sick. I was desperate for them to listen to me but they turned a blind eye and had closed ears to my complaints of suffering. 7.5mg/day Zopiclone still continued but was raised to 10mg/day the last week I was there. Lyrica 100mg/day was discontinued on Jan. 27/2020 with only a 4 day taper. My psychiatrist was not happy that I wanted to go off it because I felt it was making me feel drugged and I thought it was contributing to my body pains and migraine headache. He told me I was to be discharged within that week. He told me to take whatever he wants me to take that week without question. He at the same time as discontinuing the Lyrica took me off my propranolol 20mg, enalapril 5mg, Atorvastatin, reactine. He raised my Zopiclone to 10mg/day and put me on another medication which I cannot remember the name I was told by the nurse when I was given the first dosage that it was an older type of drug that was often given to shift workers to keep them awake during the day. I started the first dose on Jan.29/2020 but only took it the one day because that was the first day after I took it in the morning around 10am I started to experience a burning searing excruciating headache/migraine, tinnitus, hot sweats, uncontrollable muscle cramping over my entire body including my neck and face, my legs and feet went numb and my body pain was excruciating. The nausea and not being able to eat much but digestive cookies and constant diarrhea was the state I was in at the time I was discharged on Feb. 3/2020. Dec. 12, 2019 – Feb. 3, 2020 2nd psychiatric ward I was in treatment trying to get better the psychiatrist put me on all these I got very ill and he took me off the lyrica too quickly which I did not realize at the time and then discharged me sick not knowing what to do and telling my husband and I that I had to start taking my treatment into my own hands and that I had been off and on enough medications in the last 2 years that I should know how to taper and what drugs are making feel bad that he had know idea that I knew my body the best. So my doctor tried to help I was in so much pain and sick (not as much as I am in now though) here are the too fast tapers Escitalopram 20mg Started on Dec.5, 2019 Taper: Feb. 16 - 20, 2020 15mg. Feb. 21 - 26, 2020 10mg. Feb. 27 - Mar. 2, 20202 5mg. Mar. 3 Stopped 0mg. · Reply · 1d · Edited Lyrica 100mg Started on Dec. 29, 2019 100mg. Taper: Jan. 24 - Jan.27, 2020 50mg, Jan. 28, 2020 Stopped 0mg. (only 4 day taper) · Reply · 1d Trazodone 100mg Started on Jan. 14, 2020 100mg. Taper: Feb. 4 - Feb. 14, 2020 75mg. Feb. 14 - Mar. 6, 2020 50mg. (Then paused Feb.16 -Mar.3 for Escitalopram taper) Tapered again: Mar. 6 - Mar. 25, 2020 25mg. Mar. 25 to Apr.6, 2020 12.5mg. Apr. 7, 2020 Stopped 0mg. I'm currently not on another antidepressant this last treatment scared me so much I did not want to start another one. I currently am still on the zopiclone 7.5mg and clonazapam 0.5 twice daily though unfortunately and will have to at some point try to get off those.

I am here to help my 72 year old mother who suffers from severe anxiety and negative thoughts and vocalizations. Some have even diagnosed her to be hypochondriac. It all started in Feb 2018 when all of a sudden she started to get a panic attacks, she couldn't fall asleep. Because of lack of sleep she couldn't function properly in the morning and was very groggy. She had severe constipation which after year of investigation was due to the hernia blocking the rectum. On 7th June 2018 she was prescribed Paroxetene 12.5 mg (twice a day) and clonezepam (0.25 mg) for as and when needed. I can't say whether she took these regularly or not herself because i was not there with her at the time. The consultant psychiatrist told us that she is not feeling better because she is not taking these regularly as he could see how much prescription was being dispatched. After a lot of telling and making sure she takes these regularly she was able to get some sleep with clonazepam but also got hooked onto it. On the 6th April 2019 she had a hernia operation to clear the entry into the rectum and was told by the surgeon to not take these SSRI's before the surgery so naturally she was in a major state of panic. Since then she was taking the prescribed dosage of paroxtene regularly and clonezepam as and when needed. Then in Sept 2019, after realising the terrible side effects of these SSRI's i wanted to help wean it off. So i started gradually reducing the Paroxetene only once a day which was 12.5 gm and stopped clonozepam as she was able to sleep. In addition to this i was also giving her other herbal supplements (by Dr Christopher (mindTrac, Relax Eaze, Primrose oil, fish oil, multivitamins and LoveHemp CBD Oil (50mg)) From Oct 2019 until now she is not on any Paroxetene or clonezepam. She was doing and looking really well from Sept 2019 - Jan 2020 and then i started noticing some of her older symptoms returning back starting with complaining a lot about physical issues (hypochondria) like eye pain, blurry vision, headache and she was not able to sleep at night. Naturally i got very concerned and consulted a naturopath who advised to give valerian for sleep and CBD oil for anxiety,which i did however Valerian gave her nightmares and she would wake up in a state of anxiety from those nightmares so i stopped Valerian. All in all i would say she has been off the prescribed SSRI's for 3 months and so i am wondering is this is the withdrawal effect that she is facing now. I list her current condition below: 1. Not able to sleep at night for more than 2 hours (she wants to sleep but can not stay asleep) 2. She is so anxious that she can not sit in one place and walks around the house during the day and night and pretty much all day 3. She makes vocalisations, more like a hmmming sound all the time. 4. Morning's are particularly difficult as she wakes up with a lot of anxiety and wakes everyone up saying "My brain isnt working" "I do not know what will happen to me" "I can't see" etc 5. She doesn't feel hungry. She purposely resists eating 6. At time it feels she does exactly opposite of what I tell her to do for instance i will say let us go for a walk, her first response would be No. A lot of negativity 7. Although she is physically able, she is showing a lot of dependency on others specially me. She doesn't take showers or change her clothes until I push her to. Funnily enough the only time her vocalisations stop is when she watching a movie. I list below the medicines/supplements she is on at the moment. 1. Dr Ohhira’s probiotics 2. Naturelo’s whole food multivitamins 3. White Willow bark standardised as a herbal replacement to Aspirin (twice a day) 4. Dr Christopher’s Mind Trac (twice a day) 5. Dr Christopher’s RelaxEaze (twice a day) 6. Primrose Oil capsules (stopped it) 7. LoveHemp CBD oil (50 mg) 8. Homeopathic medicine of OAK 10M once a week, Ignatia 10M once a week, Carc/Horn/Ches-W/Thym G/Foll 10 M once a week and Amethyst LM1 3 drops daily Looking for some help and comfort here and genuine advice.What should she do? 1. Is this a withdrawal effect of the SSRI's ? 2. Should she re-initiate to the SSRI'S? 3. What should she do ? 4. How can she stop the vocalisations and get some good sleep? Thank you

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - StuckOnMeds: Reinstatement of Clonazapam Fair warning: my journey revolves around PMDD (my menstruation cycle). If this is not your cup of tea, turn back now. Hi! I'm so happy to be here! Here's the short version of my story... I was misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when in fact I had PMDD. At first, the symptoms were bearable, but after my last child, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not able to make myself or my children food, not showering, not able to pick my kids up from school. Not only that but my self-esteem was shot and anxiety soaring, and I had about one week a month where I could gather myself back up and try to heal before everything started all over again. This went on for over three years. I was completely broken. During all of this, my Psych started throwing meds at me to see what would stick. Unfortunately, nothing would work, and I ended up on 6 meds for depression and anxiety. Finally, I had had enough and approached my Psych and my Gyn about a full hysterectomy and BSO (ovary removal) to stop the fluctuation in my hormones. By this time I had tried all methods of care ranging from DBT to exercise, birth control to relaxation techniques, and so much more. Anyway, I had the surgery, and I felt (and feel) amazing. Like I had been missing out on living. Unfortunately, I was still stuck on all six meds. And so began the titration. I began titrating risperidone at the beginning of 2015. It is important to me to get off this med because I believe it to be the most dangerous. I started at 1 mg, and currently, I am at 0.18 mg. I am taking a break on my titration but intend to jump after my summer vacation and be done with this demon of a drug once and for all. Here is a list of my other meds: Morning: Zoloft 200 mg Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Lorazepam 0.5 mg and 0.375 mg ( also take around 3 pm) Night: Clonazepam 1 mg Trazadone 50 mg Risperidone 0.18 mg (liquid) StuckOnMeds

Hi there, Imipramine, Clonazepam, Cogentin are the drugs my doctor has me on to deal with the anxiety and aka that an antipsychotic has given to me. I’m worried the Imipramine (antidepressant) may be irritating the aka more. I’ve also been on Effexor, Pristiq, and Prozac since last summer tried them all for my anxiety but Imipramine seems to be the best so far. I know jumping from one to another is bad but they were not helpful. Clonazepam seems to be the only thing that is helping most symptoms. I’ve had people on another site telling me it almost killed them and is hard to get off. What to do? Should I wean off the Imipramine? Which my doctor also told me doesn’t cause aka but I’m not so sure to trust that. I think any antidepressant can irritate it? Does anyone have any light into this? I take it at night and wake up feeling hung over. It makes me sluggish and I feel only sadness and wanting to just not exist any longer since I’ve been on it. Bad thoughts all day. My body just feels poisoned from everything and I don’t know how I will ever recover from this. The aka is unbearable without the Clonazepam. I’m scared the anxiety will be worse if I go off the Imipramine tho. How to cope? How do I help myself? My doctor just gives me more drugs each time I see him for the symptoms. Invega has ruined my life. I don’t feel I’m strong enough to keep going or figure out what med to taper first. My poor nervous system is shot. Any ideas if getting off Imipramine would be a good start? Sorry so negative I just feel like I’m drowning here tho. Please help

Hi, I'm trying to get off psych meds because they've been making my short term memory really bad. An example of this could be putting a water bottle somewhere and within 10 to 15 seconds forgetting where I put it. I also other have problems with sleep and want to get off psych meds. I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Thanks.

Moderator note: Link to Shrike's benzo thread - Shrike: Switching from Clonazepam to Diazepam? Hey Everyone. 3 months ago I finished my taper off of SSRIs. The agony I have gone through is well appreciated by this group. That’s why I’m here. There are still days I wonder if I can make it BUT I am also getting to the point though where it is hard to imagine “going back” (on SSRIs). I am getting some “glimmers” of hope. I have good days or even multiple days. I smelled a candle last night and couldn’t believe how rich it smelled. A song with sounds you can “feel”. Beautiful. All my senses were dulled on antidepressants. I didn’t even realize it and had just gotten so used to it. Now I feel things again. Sure sometimes that feels like way too much BUT I’m starting to think it’s worth those bad “waves” to get my brain and emotions back. Having a good day today. Hope you all are too. I’m taking some time off work to get my head back and heal through some of this build up. I’m overwhelmed by my life but am happy to be “back in it”! Any encouragement or wisdom is welcome. One of the lingering symptoms for me is sleep. I am getting better but still waking up too early and restless and racing.

Hi, my name is Juanita from Australia. Swapped over to prozac to do a withdrawal over a year ago and have become so apathetic and feeling fearful and paranoid I can no longer leave my lounge chair. I also have to come off rivotril or clonazapam at least half. I am 63 years old and have been on benzos and antidepressants since I was 22 with 8 attempts to get off these drugs at various times during my life but only for brief periods before I restarted their use. I now have supports in place and am about to attempt reducing and eventually getting off these drugs. I would love to know of anyone around my age who has been able to get off these drugs either or both, as I could certainly use the support. I have pulmonary hypertension and have had blood clots and this is making it more scary because I know you can get a racing heart coming off these drugs.

'm new to the forum and feel like I've found a place where I can get some well informed answers. You all seem amazing! I'm trying to taper off Buspar (25mg- 5 weeks) and clonazapam (7 weeks - made it to .25 mg and am stuck). Which should I do first? I just read on this forum about tapering off ADs before Benzos and wonder what holds true for Buspar? I know Buspar affects seratonin in some way, but don't understand the mechanism and know it's different than ADs so maybe I should go for the Benzo first? While I have not been on them very long, it is clear to me that for some odd reason I have an extremely sensitive nervous system. I tried to go off the benzo twice and failed miserably. I had horrible incapacitating symptoms (I was on Ativan for 3 weeks and cold turkey-ed off at my doctors insistence which was a huge mistake) Then she switched me to clonazapam and after getting more stable i was able to go down from .5mg). My doc and psychiatrist are pushing Zoloft or lexapro and doesn't believe these symptoms are due to withdrawal but i really feel that I am stable now (had a stressful event in Aug/Sept which is gone and felt good at the start of Oct) and just anxious about the tapering down and withdrawal symptoms since both times I tried to stop they were so incredibly traumatic. Psychiatrist told me To just stop Buspar cold turkey but there is no way. I've tried reducing the dose by 10% the past 2 nights and it's been rough- not like the benzo but I can tell it isn't going to be easy. (Super nauseous and increased anxiety, physical symptoms). I've got more background but wanted to keep it shorter! Thanks for thoughts about which one to stop first!

Hi All, I'm in dire straits. Trying so hard to wean off of klonopin. Was at a high of 2 mgs for a month or so, after starting down this horrible road back in November of 2013 ("1 mg - as needed"). This eventually turned into 1-1.5 mgs "as needed" which was just about every day. Currently stuck at 1.25 mgs with too many physical and mental symptoms to list. My first sign of tolerance - slight ringing in the ears - began in January 2015. The docs told me it was just stress. Had a complete breakdown in late May 2015 and was bumped up to 2 mgs of klonopin and also 25-then-50 mgs of zoloft. That's when the insomnia kicked in. Gradually weaned off the zoloft by mid-August, while also dropping back down to 1.5 mgs klonopin. Within a couple weeks I was down to 1.25 klonopin. Then back up to 1.35 for 6 weeks (symptoms got a little better), and now stuck at 1.25 for the past month and suffering miserably. Somehow still working, but barely, and only because I have a family to support. In summary: due to the improvement is sleep once Zoloft was removed, I likely tapered the klonopin too aggressively in the beginning. As mentioned above, I've been holding at 1.25 for a month now. Never really stable throughout the entire process. Working with a compounding pharmacy to provide 3 equal doses per day. Not sure what to do, other than hold at this dose, pray for some stability, and then start reducing *very* gradually. Others have mentioned a crossover to valium (Ashton method), thinking that perhaps klonopin is just too difficult for my body and brain to heal from. Stuck and miserable and afraid.