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Hello, I'm glad I came across this forum because since I started having withdrawals after quitting Zoloft I've been looking for information about people who have been on the drug for more than a few months, all I can find are studies about people who withdrawal after a short trial period. I'll try to keep this as short as possible because I probably don't need to regurgitate my whole life story into this text box here but I'm also procrastinating homework right now so maybe I will do a bit of that... (TW: mention of suicidal ideation) I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can recall. I had severe OCD as a child along with what I was eventually told was generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I silently suffered for years until at 15 I realized I didn't think I could go on living if nothing changed so I told my parents and then one day I was sitting across from a psychiatrist prescribing me my first bottle of Zoloft. At that time for whatever reason, Zoloft was the change I needed and within about 6 months I was living in a way I wouldn't have conceived as possible beforehand because of how free and happy I felt. I had never experienced life without crippling anxiety and the depression that came with it. I thought of Zoloft as magic, I was soo thankful that I was on it. It enabled me to live a pretty normal high school life without having panic attacks in the bathroom every morning and constantly being afraid that my body was racked with parasites (a long term obsession and fear of mine). I never thought I would be able to leave home for college either, and I attributed that success to Zoloft as well. I had been on 150mg comfortably for years and eventually I decided I wanted to come off of them. I made it down to 50mg over time before the pandemic hit. Then at some point my life deteriorated rather quickly. I started have horrible panic attacks again, I sunk into the worst depression of my life, was severely derealized, I could barely eat, and I was utterly terrified because at that time I felt that there was no part of me left that wanted to keep living if I didn't feel better. Thinking that this was all attributed to my medication changes, my doctor increased my dose back to where I was before. Unexpectedly, for me, there was no change. On top of this, I felt the Zoloft was giving me side effects that it had not before, like constant lightheadedness. I kept waiting for the Zoloft to kick in and do its same magic, but it never did. Instead I started going to therapy, changing my lifestyle, mediating, etc. (Very fortunate to have access to these things and a support system). Pulling myself out of that hole was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, and I didn't think I would ever feel better. But over the course of a year, I've felt progressively better and more myself again, all the while I'd been decreasing my Zoloft very slowly and for the last two months I've been at 25mg. I am certainly not anxiety free, but I feel more confident in my ability to cope with it than I ever have. I am also confident that Zoloft does absolutely nothing for me anymore. I had always been told by my old psychiatrist that I would be easily able to come off of it whenever I pleased. Once I was down to 25mg, I thought that was basically nothing so I wouldn't even notice a change when I stopped taking it. So one night I figured I'd been tapering long enough and I stopped taking pills. I knew withdrawal was possible but I figured I'm tough I can handle a couple of days of feeling weird. So here I am now, coming to this realization that Zoloft is not in fact a drug that will just leave your system without having any sort of impact...yeah... I feel incredibly lost and scared right now because I can't decide if I should try to push through a couple weeks because so far the withdrawal hasn't been horrible, but it is uncomfortable. I'm very lightheaded, nauseous, can't stop crying and am having wild mood swings like I've never experienced and its only been a few days. I'm thinking what if I go back on them and all I would have needed to do was go through a few more days? But the thing is there's no way to know how long I'll be feeling like this. And based on what I am reading, for someone who's been on them for so long, my brain may need a while to reboot the systems and make new receptors and figure out how much serotonin to make after years. My main problem is that I'm a college student, I can't afford to stop doing school for however long this takes. I can barely think or comprehend what I read and I'm terrified that my grades are going to start suffering for it. But if I go back on, I'll be disappointed in myself. I feel trapped because I don't even need this medication anymore for its intended purpose, but now I need it to have brain function? I've wanted to be free from it for so long, and I'm coming to the realization that I might not be able to do this right now, in this way. I feel almost betrayed by this drug I used to consider my savior. I feel betrayed by my doctor that told my mom when she asked him if it would make any long term changes to my brain chemistry, he told her "no, it will not." I don't know if I should go back on it and try a longer, smaller taper, or if I should try to push through (which is what people who have never taken antidepressants keep telling me to do of course). I'm also scared now that the longer I'm on it, the more difficult it will be to get off of it in the future. I had no idea that I would have to deal with this, and it seems that there is very limited literature on the subject. At this point I don't know what my next move is, I'm so determined to get off of it, but I also need to be a functional person right now. I don't know if these things are mutually exclusive.

Hi everyone, I’m new here, (22 y/o Male) and I have been reading all your threads on this forum for quite a while and it gives me great hope. I have a story off my own that I would like to share with you. It’s a long read and I would really appreciate your feedback back on it and where I can go from here. My story starts in 2021. To start I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have done since I was 11 years old, I am now 22. In 2021 after 8 years of suffering and sweeping my problems under the rug they finally blew up in my face and I had to deal with them. This included horrific intrusive thoughts, rumination and anxiety all day everyday for about 3 months straight so much to the extent that I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t do anything. It affected my eating, sleeping and work life and I don’t even like talking about it to be honest. I had heard about ssri’s for many years but never considered them until my back was against the wall and I had no other choice. With much hesitation I started Sertraline in August 2021 (at age 20) and to be fair it did provide a lot of relief. I went from 25mg to 50mg and was on the medication for roughly six months, August 2021 to February 2022. Somehow or other the first time went alright and I successfully cold turkey’d off 50mg in feb 2022 because my prescription ran out. I didn’t have any prolonged withdrawal symptoms or sexual side effects. I also once took 25mg for a day or two in August 2022 but stopped because I didn’t like the spaced out and drowsy side effects. Now this is where I’m getting round to the not so great part. In January 2023 I was resuming my college degree after working for six months. I was anxious being in a new house with new roommates, and was looking for something to help me calm down and settle in. I knew I had left over Sertraline from the year prior. And while giving it some thought I foolishly decided to reinstate by myself and treat them as if they were benzodiazepines. This is where trouble began. I started 25mg again in late January 2023 jumped to 50mg and quit them cold turkey again roughly in around mid April 2023. The reason for doing so is because I was having severe headaches which very well may have been an adverse reaction. I feel very foolish about this because I unintentionally did this to myself when I really, really didn’t need to take the medication. And because I successfully quit cold turkey the first time round I thought I could do it again and was completely unaware of withdrawal symptoms. I was quite wrong, I guess this is what I’m getting to now. I have most the textbook PAWS symptoms I.e. poor to no emotions, anhedonia, lack of motivation/drive. Not to mention the sexual side effects numb genitals,watery semen, no real effect on libido however (thankfully). It’s now roughly 12 months since I last took Sertraline and while I see small windows there’s not much real improvement. I guess what can I do now?. I have heard about reinstating small doses of the drug to alleviate withdrawal symptoms but to be honest I’d rather not touch it with a ten foot pole after what happened. I’m probably outside the reinstating period anyway but I am open to suggestions. So what should I do, I’m no stranger to hard times and I know that this is just another bump in the road and will pass as it has for many others, but it’s starting to drag on a bit. I have often heard that it takes between 12 - 14 months for your dopamine receptors to reset so that gives me hope. I know I am slowly healing as I am getting very small windows but it’s still slow, is there anyone else who was in a similar situation as I am currently?. How long did it take you to recover and is there any feedback you could offer me. Considering that I only took it for 2 - 3 months shouldn’t that mean that I should recover a lot quicker and more linearly?. Can I 100% recover from this, and be even better than before?. Like said I’m hopeful and optimistic and know I will get there. I would just like to know where to go from here. Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing your responses.

I came off 50 mg Sertraline almost from one day to the next. Then threw away Vyvanse from one day to the next. Now, I am trying to come off Seroquel, but I am struggling. Went to the hospital twice in the last couple of weeks because I have a severe lung infection, but the doctors cannot understand why my body won't take in enough oxygen for my oxygen saturation in the blood to be normal. I suggested that it might have to do with the fact that I JUST came off several kinds of meds that had a severe impact on my breathing (I was hyperventilating all day every day), but they just looked at me funny. But it does make sense to me that I am now "hypo ventilating" because my body is out of balance? Am I totally off here? Right now, I wish I could just find a doctor who could let me know whether it is dangerous to "hypo ventilate". I have to sons, and I don't want to die...

I have been off Sertraline for over four months now, after having been on it for about 3 and half years. Previous 4 years or so I had been on other medications. Is diffcult to comprehend and explain in words all that is going on, but my whole psyche has been completely overturned in these years, and I do not know to what extent the various medications have caused me this. I suffer from the severest OCD,and anxiety, and now I think depression, and sheer terror at all my subsconscious thoughts which have completely taken over my whole mind. I have been imprisoned and castigated in my own mind. It is beyond explanation what is occuring on a millisecond basis. I seem to have entered some moral vortex, whereby I feel as if I am always doing wrong. Constantly confronted with "Heaven and Hell". Constantly feeling compelled to undo things, which for example I have written like here. Damned if I do or if I don't , this doesnt explain 1% of what is going on. It has brought into the fore the reason for everything and existence. I really have no idea what is going on, terrifies me the idea that no-one can have any idea of what is going on in my head. Yet on the other hand everybody is in my head, I don't know who is in my head and who isn't. Everything I say in my head is being judged. I will not go any further for now as I am terrified of writing, and also it may not be entirely pertinent to the subject. Unfortunately it only comforts me to a certain extent to know that others are experiencing their own hell, and I feel guilty in turn for the fact "that others suffering should comfort me', as I have entered some abstract Universe which seems to have its own laws. the ridiculous thing is that in the end what seems "right and wrong" seems to be determined by feeling and not some sort of formula, and I feel guilty in turn for thinking that, and also "convinced" on the one hand that it should be formulated and on the other "know" that it isn't. One of the main reasons for writing this post was the guilt and fear of punishment, or fear of damning others, especially close ones for benefitting from reading others stories and not contributing my own. To clarify alot of this stuf was going on when I was still on the Sertraline, and perhaps, in a different way when I was on other medication, difference now is that I am that so much more fragile.

Hi I'm Moe. I'm a 29 year old male. I work as a neurology RN. I never would have thought that a reaction like this could come on from taking a medication for 4 days but here I am. I have about a year long history of health related anxiety. I had a pain in my throat that would not go away. Everything checked out and it was safe to assume it was anxiety induced, but my mind wouldn't accept that because the pain was still there. I took Lexapro in increasing doses up to 15mg over 6 months. My anxiety stayed and I became tired throughout the day so I stopped it. This was February 2023 to July 2023. February 2024 The anxiety was annoying but under control. It did not effect my daily life. The throat pain persisted. I decided to try another medication to see if it would help with the throat pain. I started Taking Zoloft mid February. I was to be on 50mg. The first day I took it I noticed no difference. The second day, I felt nauseous. I then realized I had forgotten to take half tablets. The third day I started taking 25mg. I became so depersonalized it was nothing like I have ever experienced. Later that night I started having intrusive thoughts that I needed to harm myself. I pushed it out. The fourth day the nausea had become way worse, and I was getting thoughts of harming myself throughout the day. This was not me. I have never had that issue. I decided to stop the medication then and there. The following days everything became much worse. I felt so nauseous I could not eat or drink. I was shaking, I had chills, I had thoughts I needed to die to end this, I could not enjoy anything, I could not focus, I could not work, and I could not sleep. After 2 days I went to the ER. They gave me fluids and Droperidol to help with nausea and calm me down. I had a dystonic reaction and left the ER traumatized after it was resolved. For the next week and a half, I experienced the worst thoughts, nausea, despair, and hopelessness that I have ever endured. I truly thought my life was over. I had family over every day. Without them I have no idea if I could have survived. After a week and a half, this went away. I felt like I was back to my normal self. One night I awoke at 1am to the same chills, despair, panic, hopelessness, sweatiness, sadness, that I remembered from the first week. Since then, I have been dealing with waves of despair and hopelessness, trouble concentrating, nausea and loss of appetite, lack of motivation, general weakness, and anhedonia. It has not been as bad as the first week, but many are the same feelings. I feel overwhelmed by simple tasks of the day at times such as dropping off things at the post office or thinking about what I have to do in the day. It has been 43 days since I took the last dose of Zoloft. I have started therapy, I exercise daily, I am taking fish oil and multivitamin, I keep a journal of my good moments, I make sure to plan my days out, I am meditating multiple times a day, I am reaching out to family, and always looking for new things. The last 3 days in particular have been better than the previous days. I feel more in control. I have had one wave each day 1-2 hours long. I will likely regress and have a really bad day, but you can't dwell on it. Its easy to have a really bad day and think you're regressed. I think I am making progress, but it is certain that this experience and medication has changed my life. I'm here to get better. I want to work this out. I am not losing my inner peace and life due to some medication reaction. I am stronger than that. If you're reading this, you are too. We will break through the waves. Positive outlook is how to beat this. Of that I have no doubt. Don't stop looking for healthy ways to get through the day. Meditation and exercise made all the difference for me. Medication breaks the cycle of "Am I feeling bad" or "when will I feel bad" thoughts. Exercise can give the boost you need. Power through the weakness, you're stronger than you think.

Hi everyone, so glad I found this website. Have been struggling with terrible side effects since starting SSRI medications in August 2020 due to health anxiety following a traumatic miscarriage in June 2020. Been utterly terrified by my symptoms and every time I approached my GP they denied it was side effects from the SSRIs. A brief history: Aug 2020 - started 15mg Mirtazapine, increased to 30mg 2 weeks later. Signed off work shortly after this. Restless Leg Syndrome became unbearable and had to abruptly stop taking it after 6 weeks. RLS eased almost immediately. September 2020- GP switched me to Paroxetine which I took for 3 weeks before RLS worsened again and muscle twitching started in left leg & foot. Told to stop abruptly. Tried 2 weeks of no medication but muscle twitching persisted which fuelled my anxiety more. October 2020- GP told me to start 50mg Sertraline. My muscle twitching became more intense and general feeling of fatigue in muscles, particularly left thigh/knee. Developed complete restlessness, couldn’t stop bouncing my legs and felt like my entire body was crawling. GP told me to continue with medication for another few weeks. After 7 weeks, anxiety higher than ever and twitching/restlessness worsening, GP told me to stop Sertraline - either cold turkey or to take it every other day for a week. I did the latter. Took my last Sertraline 50mg dose on 18th November. December 2020 - paid for a private neurological consultation as I was so worried about the muscle twitching. Examination was normal apart from twitching. Consultant said he thought I was suffering from RLS & PLMD exacerbated by SSRI use. January 2020 - side effects still going strong. Muscle twitching, restlessness, muscle/joint stiffness, tinnitus, tight sensation at sides of neck/throat which make speaking and swallowing harder than normal, panic attacks, insomnia. I have also started feeling what I am assuming is depression as a result of the side effects and constant anxiety. I am currently taking magnesium citrate at night to help with RLS. Neurologist prescribed cocodamol to take on nights my RLS is really bad, so taking these as and when required. Also taking iron and folic acid as recent blood results showed both of these were pretty low. After reading some of the threads on this forum, I started taking high strength fish oil tablets. I am so desperate to feel ‘normal’ again. I have a beautiful daughter who is 2.5 and the light of my life and I am finding it so incredibly hard to navigate my way through this every day without being overcome with fear and panic. Any advice would be greatly welcomed. Thank you.

I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hello, This is my first post on this forum after lurking for a couple years while tapering off of Zoloft, starting at age 20. I thought I had the taper under control for most of that time, but all the changes seem to have caught up with me. I am feeling skeptical that this is going to pass and that I will ever be able to get off of this medication. Anxiety, panic attacks, and physical disorientation and discomfort have kept me effectively homebound for a few months now, with no sign of cessation; it is discomfort far greater than I have ever experienced in my life. My sleep is often interrupted, and sometimes I am awake for up to 40 hours at a time due to physical stress. I cannot walk around my neighbourhood, let alone take the bus, go to the store, or participate in work or school; I can do very little physical activity at home, and have to be extremely cautious with my dietary choices. I am currently taking no supplements, but I am considering trying L-Theanine or Taurine, which I understand to be neuroprotective. Gabapentin seemingly helped me through medication changes in the past before, but I am skeptical of adding a new drug into the mix. My doctor had been helpful with the taper, but suddenly changed her tune after I was finally honest about the problems I was having, and is now of the opinion that I need to be on this drug forever (her words), completely disregarding the fact that many of my symptoms are purely physical and could not be explained by my "original condition" (as she maintains is the case.) Additionally, I have been adamant that going back on medication is not an option; Zoloft caused me to uncontrollably engage in extremely self-destructive and reckless behaviour (drinking by myself until passing out, sleeping with strangers using no protection, reckless driving); prior to taking medication, I was a quiet, introverted guy who liked gaming and fantasy literature, and had neither taken a sip of alcohol nor intended to. I also believe it is responsible for a sudden complete and unprecedented shift in sexuality (from heterosexuality to homosexuality) and strong gender dysphoria. I do not know which mechanism of the drug could have caused this, but there is no other suitable explanation, as these acquired traits have both completely subsided, directly synchronous with my taper. When I told my doctor that the medication had these effects on me, she prescribed me Seroquel (which I am, of course, not taking); despite my calm demeanour over the phone, she clearly thinks that I am delusional. I certainly learned my lesson through this, and will no longer say any more than is necessary to avoid seeming belligerent. Out of all the people in my life, only my mother and my girlfriend believe me that Zoloft caused me to have this dramatic personality shift that endangered my life, and they are both very supportive of me in general. My father, who is currently financially supporting me, albeit reluctantly, is of the same mind as my doctor; he believes that I have a genetic defect and must be medicated permanently. Overall, however, he has been surprisingly tolerant, and I have a safe place to live where my needs are being taken care of. I have undergone thorough medical examination, and have been determined to be in good physical health, aside from a recent POTS diagnosis that I believe is a result of my taper and is causing many of my symptoms. To sum everything up: I am trapped in a world of discomfort, and have no idea what my next steps should be. Any help at all is appreciated. I am only a young guy, and the future is not looking bright right now. I am really scared that I have damaged my body and brain beyond repair both by taking the medication for so long at such a high dose and in tapering improperly. Having said that, I am feeling much more like myself, and I know that I am on the right track. P.S. I apologize if any part of my post violates content guidelines. I was aiming for as much clarity as possible but any offending parts can certainly be removed.

Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

My introduction post for the forum.. short story I have been prescribed SSRIs since I was about 18/20 and now they are no longer helping me. The long story. I started on my antidepressant journey when I was around 18 or 20 years old (now 29), but I never recorded what brands I tried or the exact date of starting antidepressants. I sought out antidepressants as a way of dealing with depression and anxiety which emerged about a year or two prior. I attended counselling. Unsuccessful. This led me to the Dr and going on a mental health care plan to get bulk billed psychology and subsequently started taking SSRIs. I believe I tried Fluoxetine and the side effects scared me so much I needed to switch to something else. I ended up on Paroxetine as that gave less severe side effects. So going forward, Paroxetine was doing a good job of getting me 'functioning' as an adult. I got my first job at 20 years old, was getting over social anxiety and I generally started progressing enough to come out as Transgender and be treated for that as well. Unfortunately though some side effects of paroxetine never subsided, and as time went on I felt myself being affected by SADs every winter. This was combated with increased dosage of paroxetine. Since I am such a small human being, I didn't tolerate the increases well and it lead me to sleeping over 12-13 hours a day. I could barely wake up without falling back to sleep and was diagnosed with OSA. This is the paradox of Antidepressants. I ended up successfully reducing my dosages every spring and somehow I still managed to go to work, be a normie, save money.. Did the things I wanted to do. Then after around 8 or so years on Paroxetine, it finally pooped out. I had gone through some big life shifts not limited to moving house, having a sibling leave for overseas, and finishing up a uni degree after three years of somewhat stable routine (as much as you could get with covid). So I succumbed to a relapse in depression and since that time in 2021, my life has not been the same. Due to said intolerance of dosage increases, my doctor switched me to escitalopram. For about a month it improved my mood but then stopped working. Dosage increase. Same mood improvement then failure. New drug time! Venlafaxine. Oh boy! An SNRI! Started on a small dose then worked up to a bigger dose. Same thing.. Mood improved for a bit then dropped off and these stupid drugs aren't helping me! I was then referred to a psychiatrist. Convinced I have some sort of ADHD, because why else am I having all these problems and can't focus on a life path for myself? He said that he didn't believe I was ADHD.. That I am just affected by my anxiety which impacts decision making. He suggested back onto SSRIs since Paroxetine worked so well for me. So that lead to Sertraline.. The dreaded Zoloft. So right now, having been through the normal 'mood is good for a while' stage, time to go back into the familiar low mood phase. Okay. Dose increase. On to 75mg every other day. So now I am experiencing the wonderful side effects which I had forgotten about SSRIs while I was on Venlafaxine. They are: Stomach/gastroesophageal pain (is that an ulcer or GORD? No! It's just antidepressants!) Brain fog and being spaced out ie. Feeling like I'm one drink in without having consumed alcohol Diplopia Trouble waking up in the morning and/or waking up but feeling tired through the day Emotional blunting and anhedonia Mood swings Increased tinnitus No appetite at all And this is a new one: EXTREME ITCHINESS! (no it is not the dreaded drug rash, it is hives.. Wonderful itchy hives) So now with all this bullsh*t I have been through, I just really want a break from these meds. My life has scarcely moved on from where I was in 2021 when I relapsed. I am sick of the side effects and I'm sick of being on these bloody drugs. Obviously something deeper has affected me because I am no longer having success on antidepressants and the side effects are not encouraging me to stay on them. Well done if you read to the end! I have no reward for you. Or maybe the reward was the story we read along the way?

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Hi everybody, My names David and from Sunderland U.K I have been on Anti Depressants since 2001, I initially went to the doctor feeling low on a dark January afternoon I was having trouble with a girlfriend and was unemployed. He gave me these tablets and honestly thought I would pop them and 2 weeks later << that was the literally in the info at the time I would be back dancing so to speak. As everybody here now knows that was so far from the truth it was unreal, I had panic attacks, Suicidal thoughts, My Penis disappeared and my groin hurt. I was scared to go out the house. Naturally I rushed back to the doctors and he told my these were possible side effects << hardly no side effects in the 2001 anti depressant leaflets, How times have changed. I did level out and my mood was better after about 2 month but that level was a form of numbness, No emotions and No sex drive, Both have drove my insane ever since. I then was told I need to get out more and find a job to help me feel better and help lift my mood. I was 22 at the time so I had all my friends that I grow up with or went to school with Playing football a few nights a week and going for a few pints and a game of pool on a weekend. The Numbness was holding my back though as is life friends then started to get girlfriends and moving on with their life, I did not. I'm explaining all this because I have since day 1 of the anti depressant which ever brand I have had felt *Depersonalised* < a term I now know. I was not interested in women because I was scared they would leave me as soon they found out I had no sex drive and little emotions Then thats when the Anti Depressant loop started!!! I read as much as I could at that time apparently you took them for 6 weeks and then if you were better and you come off them... NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!! I always consulted my doctor, I remember him telling me he did't take people off them at Christmas (Short dark days in the uk at that time) 1 time I went to the doctors and told him I felt good I had a job at the time early 20s wanting to get on with my life. he said i'm fine with you feeling better, Just stop taking them!! << I kid you not. As everybody knows in the forum I then went COLD TURKEY!! That was my first experience of the term I know now as withdrawal syndrome. Naturally I ran back down the doctors a week or 2 later and was then put back on the medication That literally been the story of my life ever since, personally any effect the tablet has is far outweighed by the side effects. I ballooned up to 17 stone at 1 point, Walked out of a job I had when I went through a period of my life when I was always on the sick for about 18 months << I thought it was the job, I was a van driver but between 2009 and 2010 as you can see by my medication signature the doctor literally kept changing my tablets and I was sent to a psychiatrist all that Dr did was up my dose. I was numb and suicidal for a year I think, it was the worst period of my life. I wined myself of Venlafaxine I knew it wasn't doing ANYTHING for me but the doctor was adamant something would change. I then went to to the doctors on an emergency appointment and he was completely pissed with me. I was then put on Sertraline in 2011 and told myself no matter the side effects and going to change my life. Get a job, lose weight, have some money get out of my parents house and most of all find a partner. I lost my Best mate/Brother in 2015 which has had a huge effect on my life, I was actually tapering off at that time << I would of crashed I didn't know what I was doing. with the passing of my mate I upped the tablets to 75mg I think and drank heavily for about 2 years. Then I hit a turning point of I cannot go on like this i'm killing myself, My mate (which only lived 5 doors away from me my whole life) passed away and other friends I grew up with now married off or working away all the time I was left isolated. I have friends but I don't interact with them like I did with my mate that passed away. I had a Job, Lost 2 stone felt good about myself even if I was still at my parents (who I love dearly) I thought maybes it time to come off these tablets once and for all and then get myself on a dating site and see what the future holds. So last September I thought to myself maybe's it time to do it properly (I tried coming off them in 2018 small taper didn't work usual brick wall back on the medication 2 months off work) I was taking 50mg. My 10 year repeat prescription was 100mg but I was too numb on that dose. I didn't consult my doctor with it being in the middle of the pandemic < I worked all the way through. I went from 50 to 35 I think for about 4 weeks then to 25 for over Christmas << the numbness started to go and clarity coming back I started to feel better about myself thinking of the future. Then I halved to 12.5 I think for a month then halved again a month later Everything was fine I thought. I was quite irritable and I had a problem with a manger at work and he started to live in my head I just thought it was the medications leaving my system and would turn the corner. A good friend of mine offered my a job in the same industry and I took it was my mood went sky high that was 6 weeks ago. Then the anxiety started. I was having Road rage constantly << in my head. then the paranoid thoughts kick in. then last week the suicidal thoughts I started counselling and hypnotherapy treatment 3 weeks ago hoping to get over this bump, But once the suicidal thoughts kicked in I phoned my doctor up and guess what ? He advised me to go back on the medication which I did as the thought of Suicide were so real. I had a session with the counsellor on Saturday she said she could have calmed me down! I am now on day 4 of 25mg Sertraline having just phoned in sick from work in my new job (My mate was completely fine to be honest, told me take my time and get better) going through the sick effect phase AGAIN I have never searched about this subject before till Friday I did not know why I hadn't looked into it before I apologise for the long explanation but that is basically the last 20 years of my life and probably the rest of my life! I do live in hope David

Hi this is my first post, I ct of mirtazapine 10 months ago as per doctors recommendations and since then have been experiencing severe muscle weakness, spasms and knots. I believe my history will be included in the signature of this post? I’ve been trying all the recommended treatments like magnesium, heat etc which helps only a bit. Hoping to get help with the following questions: I’m still taking 25 mg sertraline, which I was taking before the mirtazapine, and did not experience the muscle issues. However, with my CNS kindled could the sertraline be contributing to the spasms? My understanding of mirtazapine is it hits +25 receptors so would anyone know which ones in particular could have been adversely affected to cause the muscle issues, ie histamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, etc? Not sure if other medications are ever recommended but wondering about the use of a muscle relaxant or other drug that could help relax the muscles without causing further damage to my CNS. Any other supplements and/or diet recommendations such as low histamine or low glutamate?

So I was first put on sertraline (an SSRI) when I was 10 years old. From when I was put on the medication, whenever I would have a strong relapse in symptoms, the most common response of my psychiatrist would be to increase my dose. When I was about 23 I was also put on propranolol (a beta-blocker). I'm now 34. Currently, my mental health is ok, but for a very long time I've suffered from a bunch of related symptoms: - Inability to sleep - Extreme difficulty getting up in the morning - Fatigue - Unexplained chronic pain These come and go and occur along with anxiety and low-level depression which the medications are supposed to treat. Doctors haven't been able to identify a cause, and they don't really respond to the standard things people recommend to help treating these symptoms (e.g. eating healthy, etc). Taken as a whole they can make it very difficult to make improvements in my life. I'd like to come off the medications because I think that the symptoms listed above (not the depression and anxiety) might be caused or exacerbated by my medication. But the trouble is, I've been on the medications so long I don't really have any idea if the symptoms I have experienced really are being caused or exacerbated by the medications. I managed to reduce my sertraline dosage from 200 to 100mg and I couldn't notice a change in these symptoms, which indicates that maybe they are completely unrelated to my medications And the severe episodes of anxiety and related symptoms I have experienced have been a living hell. If coming off the medication results in a return of that then I don't want to do it and will end up really regretting it. So I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hey all. Though as I write this I feel relatively healthy, I prefer to quit anyway. My history of this treatment is long, tough and spans 6 years. Started with Sertraline and anxiety which led me to develop psychotic symptoms, though very few of these symptoms - 1 or 2 to be exact. Either way, I suspect my diagnosis is off the mark or entirely wrong because I've had friends tell me I am healthy and family members tell me it's been 2 years since they saw symptoms of my "chronic" illness. Strangely, if we diagnosed me according to DSM and other books then I would just barely qualify for a psychotic disorder in the past, but totally not in the most recent 2 years - I got better. Anyway, as of today I settled on Zoloft 50mg and Zyprexa 15mg (brands of Sertraline, Olanzapine). These are totally ok for me. Or so I thought! Here is my plan. Blood tests came. I have high prolactin. Remains to be figured out whether this high prolactin is from sertraline or from olanzapine. All I am sure is that I definitely have poor libido and some anhedonia which are typical for high prolactin. Better if it's sertraline 'cause I may keep on taking olanzapine in that case. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, since I believed these drugs to be 100% safe for me. How do I plan to come off these drugs, and will it go well? I will just persuade my doctor to give me a tapering plan. This is my own tapering plan based on my experience and how these drugs work with my body: Sertraline, month 0: 50 mg month 1: 25 mg month 2: 0 mg Olanzapine, month 0: 15 mg - month 1: 10 mg - month 2: 7.5 mg - month 3: 5 mg - month 4: 0 mg Cheers!

I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years

Hi, I have been back and forth on posting here but decided to go for it. I was originally put on sertraline nearly 4 years ago due to extreme depression. I had a lot of traumatic events happen to me between the ages of 18 and 22 which I was still trying to cope with years later. I had been through many rounds of therapy and was still having a really hard time, especially after a bad breakup, so my doctor decided meds were the next option. I had to taper up fairly slowly to 100mg and the side effects at the start were awful. I couldn’t eat, I was borderline manic, generally all over the place. After I settled at 100mg though I have had the most stable period of my life that I can remember. Although I have still had bad episodes (one of my oldest friends committed suicide, work stress etc.) I agreed with my doctor that these were understandable reactions to life events and we wouldn’t change my dose. As I’ve been doing particularly well the past year my doctor wanted to decrease my dose. She suggested in late May that I alternate between 100mg and 50mg for a few weeks and then drop to 50. Alternating sent me all over the place so I just dropped directly to 50 and was fine throughout June and most of July. During July I had some big life decisions to make, and a lot of stress. After some triggers bringing up old trauma, realising I had made some bad choices etc. I started to have a lot of anxiety and breakdown. The anxiety was very intense, but I found that talking to people and making new plans eased it for a while. Then a week later, after a relatively stable week, I started having really bad panic that wouldn’t ease no matter what I did. This lead to a really bad episode of depersonalisation and derealisation that was the scariest I’ve ever had. My doctor wanted me to go back to alternating between 100mg and 50mg but instead I started taking 75, hoping that this might even me out. I have been on 75mg for just over 2 weeks now and I feel awful. For the first week I was entirely numb to everything, which was somewhat of a relief after the intense anxiety. However, since then I now wake up with intense dread and anxiety that lasts until at least noon if not all day. Waking up my heart is racing and I feel like everything is awful and always will be. I can’t eat until the evening. It exhausts me and I can’t do anything else afterwards. I’m going to work still but it is so difficult, I just want to crawl out of my skin. I’m trying to stay at 75mg and level out but I’m so scared that I never will. Before this I was so stable and having one of the best times of my life. Now I can barely function. I’m questioning whether I need to stay at 75mg, go back to 100 or drop back down to 50. It has only been a month since this all started and I can’t keep living like this.

Hello I took a antidepressant called sertraline for 3 months at 50 mg.Although it made me feel better I had to come off it as the change in brands was making my mental health deteriorate badly and I could not be guaranteed a steady supply from the same brand.I have come off the medication and have experienced horrific symptoms which I presume to be withdrawal which I didn't even have before taking the sertraline and these symptoms include severe anxiety, anger,rage,electric shocks and brain zaps,body being jolted, really bad low mood and this has gone on for 11 months after I stopped which is shocking.Gp's in England do not seem to be aware how bad antidepressants can be. I would like to ask if any people from England are going through withdrawals from antidepressants as Gp's deny withdrawal, and whether there are any private doctors or Gp's who believe in antidepressant withdrawal and could maybe give a diagnosis.Does England even have any support or services for antidepressant withdrawal? Thanks

Hello everyone. Recently discovered this site and would like to share my story with SSRIs. Hopefully it will help some people out with similar struggles. I grew up with a lot of anxiety all throughout my childhood but always just pushed through it. As a child I just assumed everyone feels this anxiety and they must hide it better, or be stronger pushing it away. As I got older into my late teens I realised I have a social anxiety disorder When I was 20, in my second year at university things reached a breaking point with anxiety levels. We were tasked with giving presentations to the class the following week and I got triggered so badly at the thought. I went home riddled with the most intense anxiety, feeling I would rather jump off a cliff than go through the upcoming task, more or less resigning myself to the fact that i would have to drop out of school and never have a chance to do the things I want in life. I went to my doctor who prescribed Sertraline after a very brief chat. They give me the common explanation there is a chemical imbalance in the brain and this will correct it. Cant remember the exact details of the conversation but the message I got was that this medication is perfectly safe and its no big deal taking it. Being in a lot of pain, desperate for some sort of improvement and completely trusting my doctors expertise I agreed straight away and started the medication. After that, things did stabilise enough for me to finish school, start working and slog my way through life painfully with high anxiety but now dulled enough to cope moderately. I had counselling many times (all CBT type) which helped me gain some perspective but did little to resolve my anxiety and when the next situation came up Id get as anxious as ever. After several attempts to resolve my anxiety problem through counselling, I pretty much gave up on ever getting resolution and resorted to management strategies. A few years later another doctor suggested I switch to citalopram which is better at treating anxiety. They give me their usual short confident explanation, without any warnings about side effects or in depth knowledge of the drug. Due to the sexual side effects I attempted to stop citalopram in 2018 as I thought things were going pretty well. I tapered far too quickly and went off the drug completely for 3 months. In hindsight it was a doomed attempt from the start because I hadn't found any strategy to resolve the underlying anxiety problem. So the anxiety got bad again and I reluctantly reinstated. Fast forward to Mar 2023. A new job opportunity has came up in my company and I really want to apply, but anxiety will be a major problem for me going to an interview and doing well in it. I apply anyway. Days before the interview the anxiety is starting to get very strong and persistent. In desperation I begin to research social anxiety and find EFT tapping. I try following along to a youtube video of someone tapping on accupressure points thinking this is the stupidest thing Ive seen yet, this must be a scam, I hope nobody sees me doing this crap, etc. After about 10 minutes doing this tapping I notice the anxiety level suddenly drops in intensity and at that point I started to believe that this actually works. I felt straight away that this is exactly what Ive been looking for and its going to change my life for the better in every way After that I was hooked and began to research and practice EFT daily and have being getting great results on the things that have been causing me the most misery over the years. I since learned through my research that my social anxiety is a learned condition due to negative experiences or traumas in my childhood. I would have always said my childhood was perfectly normal, nothing to see here, but looking a little more in depth, there were many subtle experiences of embarrassment and humiliation that created this habitual anxiety response in certain social situations. I would now have to disagree with my doctors "chemical imbalance" theory. My brain is and was always perfectly balanced. I was never actually depressed had any other conditons. My anxiety was purely situational and I could feel normal when I wasnt in those situations. What caused my suffering was my subconsious mind percieving threat in particular situations due to past traumas. After a few months tapping my results were great but I felt I wasnt able to truly feel the bad childhood emotiions due to the SSRIs blunting emotions so I began to taper. I tapered from 40mg, to 30mg then to 20mg then to 10mg. After each step i would feel the brain zaps etc and would allow it to settle for a few weeks before stepping down again. I went to taking 10mg every 2 days for a few weeks, then every 3 days for about a week then stopped. The first couple of weeks off were rough enough with zaps, anxiety and general lower mood and at times unexplained rage. Since march I spend at least 1 hour eft tapping per day and this habit really helped me through this period. There is an odd hellish day where it seems hopeless like I would never get my life back but this would pass quickly enough. About a month in the acute withdrawl subsided. The brain zaps faded away After this i have being having what I would call symptoms of the protracted withdrawl phase. This has largely been a feeling of pressure in my head or a headache, brain fog, tiredness all the time and limited motiviation or joy in things usually enjoyed. As expected (and what I had actually hoped for) the anxiety that the SSRIS had dulled could be felt more intensely and when doing the EFT some incredibly intense releases of emotion started happening. To me this was the healing or resolution that needed to happen, and I dont think it would have been possible on the SSRI. I am now into my 5th month off citalopram. The challenges seem to come and go like last week i felt worse than I had in recent weeks but it passed. The daily EFT practice is my go to when anything comes up. I also joined a gym last week to try and lift my mood and energy and found running along with the sauna and plunge pool (ice cold) really lifted my mood in a big way. I had been trying cold showers recently too and get a good mood boost off it. There were short periods in the last few months where I felt demoralised like I couldnt cope, but these are very short lived and pass. On a bad day I like to myself that how I feel is not a truth, just an emotion/perspective and it will pass. I also always be kind to myself after a bad day/experience and remind myself of the big picture, of all the progress ive made over months. Its so easy to get demoralised after a setback or rough patch but I guess the wisdom of being a bit older now helps me see things in a more rounded way. My younger self may have went to panic stations after a few rough days of symptoms. Currently I am doing great and well on top of the symptoms most of the time but I feel very fragile and my brain has a lot more healing ahead. I am fully confident that I will never put another SSRI in my body, thanks to making huge strides to resolving the underlying anxiety root causes. What worries me a bit reading peoples stories is the timeline for the brain to heal. It scares me to think of how much longer I might feel headaches, tiredness, sluggish generally not myself, but there is no alternative I suppose. Hopefully things wont get worse before they get better I will post a later update to my story to let you know how its going. I really hope this information helps some people on here. Id also love to hear any thoughts/advice from the group.

My story in a nutshell: Always been anxious but got really bad in 2015 Went to see the doctor and was told I didn't have depression but had GAD Was prescribed Sertraline and GP told me coming off them meant “mild to no symptoms” Started 50mg Sertraline 1 Jan 2016 but also quit coffee and alcohol at the same time Brother on 200mg told me you feel better after six weeks Had blurred vision, dry mouth and increased appetite but was otherwise fine (but still anxious) Six weeks to the day (more on this later) I felt more relaxed, clear-headed and less anxious Decided to come off after nine months as to me medicine is a last resort and I felt okay Tapered off over three months Withdrawal started and it was indescribably bad — I can barely even put it into words Went on for a while and I went back to the doctors, was dismissively told it would right itself and that I could always go back on them if I wanted to Didn't have many people to speak to about it but those I did said it was my depression coming back and I need to go back on the meds I knew it wasn't as how I was feeling was an order of magnitude worse than I'd ever felt in my life the the most depression I'd had before that was likely dysthymia as I was always functioning and never missed any work from it (interestingly I don't think the NHS recognise dysthymia and I was never diagnosed with it but in hindsight while not feeling hopeless or worthless I likely have had anhedonia for a lot of my adult life) I suffered alone for about 7–8 months, easily the worst I have never felt in my life: hopeless, worthless and angry in a way that is so extreme as to be difficult to describe After about 8 months it eased up Still with anhedonia I would function okay for a few weeks then my emotions would fall off a cliff and it'd be like being in mini withdrawal for about a week, passive suicidal ideation This went on for 6+ years while I tried to explore alternative methods of recovery (exercise, supplements, etc) As well as this cycle I get constant nose bleeds in my right nostril, I get hand tremors (never had them before Sertraline) if I am stressed and sometimes my memory and thinking goes haywire (not blackouts but difficulty forming and retaining memories even though my recall and clarity of thinking was good before, e.g. once when stressed, I forgot which side of the road cars travelled on and found myself unable to remember quite recent conversations) Exercise and eating well (esp. cutting out sugar) helped but life was still a slog Kind of got sick of fighting this thing about a year ago and had a bit of a breakdown and realised I was on a continuum of passive to active suicidal ideation Hit rock bottom and swore to myself I would never act on intrusive thoughts and started fighting back with renewed vigor Slowly improved through supplements, light therapy, cold shower, lots of exercise and a particularly the Human Givens approach — basically it shows that your thinking affects your sleep and your sleep quality determines your mental state A couple of months later I started taking Moringa powder and within a week the “blackness” had gone (not sure how/why but it is rich in tryptophan) After about a month of taking Moringa I actually started to feel happy; after an 8 year battle, I'd finally beaten this thing However… All was good for a few months until some things in life went badly all in a row and my stress levels ramped up and I've had a few bad months. I am being asked to look at medication by my family but this time a different SSRI. It seems crazy to me given what I've been through but I have promised to at least look at other SSRIs, hence this post. Here are my questions: How different are SSRIs? Can any of the more well-informed members here take a look at my history and let me know what taking a different SSRI might look like? Fluoxetine (Prozac) looks like it is less likely to cause withdrawal symptoms but I've also read if you have had suicidal ideation before it can make that worse. Am I likely to have the same experience coming off any SSRI? I can't imagine being on them life as a) it doesn't address anything and b) I have heard they stop working eventually. I am also very concerned about the data surrounding them, particularly the lack of evidence for the chemical imbalance theory and their ineffectiveness in mild to moderate depression. I know SSRIs work as a placebo for some. I found it suspicious that I started feeling the benefits on the exact day my brother said they'd start working. Almost like my brain expected it. And if I ever got serious side effects like I had before…I honestly don't know what I'd do. And finally, the irony of having had to deal with all this depression simply because I took an antidepressant is not lost of me.

Hi, Nice to meet you all. I’ve been lurking on this site since earlier this year and am finally posting because I am in some serious need for advice. I started sertraline (zoloft) in March 2015 for panic and anxiety disorder. It worked wonders and basically cured my anxiety. I was initially on 50mg and had missed doses/failed attempts to quit but never had trouble going back on it (the longest I was off the meds was 2 weeks). From May 2021 to November 2022 I took 50mg every other day and was able to stabilize. In November 2022 I decided to taper off Zoloft since I thought my anxiety was gone and my life had become pretty stable. I weaned off in three weeks, which was ridiculously fast in hindsight (I did 12.5mg for two weeks and 6.25mg for a week). I had all the classical withdrawal symptoms (flu like symptoms, insomnia, etc). However, some of them symptoms never went away to this day, such as fatigue and insomnia, although they did start getting better over time. From January 2023 to August I also tried a lot of supplements to help my sleep. I took ashwaghanda for two months, which helped slightly. I also tried 5-htp for a week. I thought it gave me more energy until it gave me a panic attack one day so I stopped. Magnesium glycinate and fish oil didn’t do anything to me, although I only took them on and off and max for a week. The most bothersome symptom I’ve had is hard to describe. I can only describe it as sensory disturbances (sudden dropping sensation, random waves of pulling sensation in the body, especially in neck, almost dizzy feeling when I turn my eyes that last less than a second throughout the day). This symptom used to happen maybe once a day, but since July it became more and more frequent, and sometimes I feel like I’m almost floating/not grounded. I decided to reinstate on August 14 because my doctor thought it was my anxiety relapsing, which was partially true since I did feel my anxiety creeping back. However, I had never had such sensory disturbances/fatigue/insomnia before I got on Zoloft, even on my worst days. After I reinstated 12.5mg Zoloft, I thought it helped with the dizziness/sensory disturbances in the first 2-3 weeks, but they slowly came back. It also started giving me bad insomnia after week 3 (worse than before reinstatement) and burning sensation in my back at random times of the day. Although my mood has been better and I feel like I have more energy, I also feel more anxious with a lot of mood swings. I apologize for the long post. I have a few questions that I was hoping you’d be able to answer: 1. Should I hold my current dose (12.5mg) given that it didn’t help with my withdrawal symptoms and caused side effects that aren’t going away? If it’s safe to taper off, how fast can I get off? 2. Are the sensory disturbances withdrawal symptoms? Why do I feel like they only got worse as time went by? I also have a brain MRI scan scheduled soon just to rule things out. Thanks in advance!

Hello, When I was 17 (19 now) I was put on 50mg Sertraline in late 2020 because of a stimulant overdose that triggered an intense OCD episode about the effects on my body. I believed I was going to die due to my overdose symptoms (chest pains, loss of feeling in left arm, heart palpitations) but with time and meds it faded away. I was on Sertraline for a year and a half and I was overall fairly stable, however I did experience multiple suicidal episodes and other issues. I started tapering off in April of 2022, and had a rough but overall functional summer until I took my last dose of 1mg in August 2022 (under supervision of psychiatrist the whole time) after which I experienced quite acute and intense withdrawal with intense and uncontrollable obsessive thoughts. This lasted a few weeks, and after I went back to college in early September 2022 it faded away and had a month after my taper ended where I felt somewhat stable with somewhat manageable symptoms. In Early October 2022 after being off SSRIS for about 1.5 months I had a single breakdown that kicked off another insane OCD episode with very graphically sexual themes. It’s been almost 2 months now and I am hardly getting any better and I’ve accepted my state as one of constant obsessions and only feeling at peace for a few minutes at a time. Progress is very slow and I feel maybe 25% better since the worst. Anyways, is it possible that I’m still experiencing prolonged effects of my taper? I did feel good for a while but it feels like I’m back in early withdrawal but without brain zaps and the like. Before I ever took meds I did have some obsessive thinking, but it was always explainable and related to things that actually pertained to my real life. These days, I can scarcely hang out with people or go to class or even use my phone without being triggered by something completely irrational that leads me into a sometimes days long spiral. I just feel messed up and insane now. I’m in therapy and it helps but I just don’t feel like myself, ever. My intrusive thoughts take up so much of my day and energy and I can’t tell if this is just how my brain is wired or if I’m still going through prolonged withdrawals. Any advice/guidance is appreciated.

I have a long history of anxiety, was on chlorpromazine and diazepam as a teenager; I'm now 67. Developed OCD in 1970s. Drug-free till 1990s. Developed CFS in 1986, OCD worsened and developed depression over the next 5 years. Prozac from 1991 till 1994, helped to some extent, then OCD worsened again. Switched to dosulepin in 1994, then to clomipramine on the advice of a clinical psychologist in July 1994. Helped a little with the OCD, but to everyone's surprise helped a lot with the CFS. Have been on clomipramine since then, doses from 25 to 125 mg - mostly between 50 and 100mg. The OCD resolved in 1997 after various non-drug therapies, but have continued with the clomipramine because it helped the CFS - usually a dose increase would help after a setback. Since about 2005 the doses my GP allowed did not help the CFS.....tried citalopram in 2007, no better and had a nasty reaction 4 weeks after stopping the clomipramine/starting citalopram - extreme anxiety and uncontrollable shaking. At the time, scared it might be serotonin syndrome - the citalopram had just started to "kick in" - but maybe it was clomipramine withdrawal. Tried dosulepin again in mid 2007 - that made me anxious and did not help the CFS, so switched back to clomipramine. I would like to reduce it.....currently having supply problems in the UK as some manufacturers have stopped producing it, and the constipation is really getting me down. I'm currently on 50mg/day, but my GP and I are talking about reducing it....not sure it's helping any more (the CFS is greatly improved these days, irrespective of clomipramine dose), and would like to find out if I can cope without it.