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Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.

I have been taking Zoloft for 20 years for panic disorder. I started taking it when I was 18, and tried other medications as well. Nothing worked accept Zoloft. I still have breakthrough panic attacks and anxiety sometimes, but it’s manageable. I want to get off of Zoloft, but I’m terrified of the panic coming back. I’ve tried getting off of it 4 other times, and suffered greatly for years, becoming agoraphobic for months, and not driving by myself for 6 years the first time I tried to stop, and then severe depression, with suicidal ideation, extreme panic attacks I couldn’t calm down from, and constant debilitating anxiety the other times I tried to stop. One time I was off for a year, and they came back 1,000 times worse! I’m thinking of tapering slowly this time, but terrified that the panic attacks will come back full force again, and I will have to suffer going back on the meds until they kick in again. I have two young children, and I don’t want to suffer with withdrawal symptoms. I want to be able to get off of the meds easily, and with little side effects. I’m just so scared that the panic attacks and depression will come back if I stop the meds, and I won’t know if it’s withdrawal, if it’s legitimate panic attacks. They are so severe and terrifying that I almost want to stay on the meds forever and deal with the side effects than go through life the way I’ve always felt off of them. Any tips, advice, or thoughts?

I apologise for the self indulgence of this but I'm upset at the moment and really wanted to just tell people about everything that's happened to me - it's a really, really long story. I appreciate its very TL;DR... I've been on and off various antidepressants since I was 14 - so for most of my life. These have included SSRIs, SNRIs and mood stabilisers. By age 27 I had decided I no longer wanted to take any medications for my presenting condition, which at that point was anxiety. I felt that the years I'd spent on medication was "lost time" because the emotional numbing effect of these drugs promotes a kind of apathy - because I didn't care about anything, I didn't do anything and so my life would wither around me. Every time I came off them I would look at my life - now able to feel the emptiness of it - and feel motivated to be proactive and improve it. My social life was better when I wasn't on medication, my memory was better when I wasn't on medication, I was more productive when I wasn't on medication. A very clear 'boom and bust' pattern had emerged in my personal history where when I was unmedicated I was a whirlwind of activity, taking positive actions to improve my health, and when I was on the pills I sat inside in my pyjamas. Another pattern was clear too - every time i weaned off my pills, i would leave my unfulfilling relationships with boyfriends because I could no longer tolerate the loneliness. I would look for something better. On pills, I just stayed, and those relationships over time would erode my self esteem. With all this evidence behind me, I decided none of this was worth it and I'd rather just learn to live with the anxiety. A couple of months after deciding I would never touch another pill, I woke up feeling something I hadn't felt since I was a teenager - a voracious sex drive! It had been so long since I'd had a libido that I hadn't realised it was gone and I found myself now constantly interrupted throughout the day by thoughts and fantasies about sex. My pleasure in sex also increased and my orgasms improved. My vulva even changed, appearing 'fuller' with increased lubrication, as if the bloodflow down there had suddenly increased. Initially I worried something was wrong and consulted my GP to ensure this swelling and wetness was not an infection, but everything was normal. This was just how I was *supposed* to be. I enjoyed this sex drive and pleasure for four years. Unfortunately, during those four years, my mental health snowballed. I developed severe panic disorder with agoraphobia. I was determined not to take medications so I tried everything else - therapies and self help, anything I could do to change my thoughts and feelings without a prescription. By age 31, now mostly housebound for two years, I gave up. Although the first two years of my unmedicated life had been more active and fulfilling, it was now the illness rather than the medication that had trapped me inside in my pyjamas. It was time to choose the lesser evil - Sertraline. A few days later, towelling dry after a shower, I realised I couldn't feel my genitals. Initially my drive for sex - which had continued to be high throughout my illness - remained and I was in the frustrating position of feeling an urge to satisfy that need and no longer being able to because my clitoris was completely numb. I was about to throw the pills away when, almost overnight, something amazing happened - the panic attacks stopped. I could go outside. I could do anything now. I booked a last minute flight to Portugal and went on holiday! Now came a tough decision - life, or a sex life? That probably doesn't sound tough to most people but when you've been trapped inside your house for years, your sexuality becomes very important to you. There's a window in every day where you feel excitement and pleasure, where you feel alive again. And frankly, one of the big motivators to get back outside was to have sex - something I now couldn't do! I was upset, but I told myself I was being silly. Of course it was more important to go outside than to masturbate! And it was only going to be temporary - I told myself that the moment my life was back on track I'd lose the pills. I quickly met a man and started a relationship of sorts, but it was an odd experience. I had no idea if I liked him; I just couldn't tell. I'd speak to friends and try to work out logically if he were a good fit for me but there was no emotion to act as a compass. I felt nothing - about anything. The sex, now that I had lost all feeling in my genitals, was like a prolonged smear test. I still had sexual urges - although I didn't know if I loved him, I definitely found him sexually attractive - but once we got started it was like my mind and body were completely disconnected. Nine months after starting sertraline, with panic attacks completely resolved, I decided the only way to know if I even wanted to go out with this guy was to find out how I felt without the pills. Weaning off was initially like weaning off any psychotropic drug. With each step down I had vertigo, electric shock feelings in my nerves, insomnia, agitation, intense emotions that came out of nowhere. I'd been through this a million times before so I continued with the scheduled taper, knowing a couple of weeks after I hit 0mg I'd feel fine again. But 48 hours after I took my last pill, chaos broke out in my body and mind. It was by far the most extreme experience I've ever had in my life. There were 1 million thoughts racing through my mind but I couldn't catch any of them. I had the bizarre feeling that I was thinking very obsessively about something but I had no idea what I was thinking about. The vertigo grew intense and I started vomiting. I would continue vomiting for the next three weeks. An excruciating and unrelenting pain developed in my gut. It felt like an emotional anguish, but what about? I didn't know. Unable to look after myself, a friend took me in. We had a long conversation about the biggest thing in my life at that time - I'd realised I definitely didn't like this boyfriend and I was leaving. "You should just tell him exactly what you just told me" my friend said, and i suddenly realised I had absolutely no idea what I'd just told her. I knew we'd been talking for hours, but I couldn't remember a single word. I felt very confused. I decided not to make any major decisions while I felt so chaotic so I didn't immediately break up with the man. Over the course of the next few weeks, strange things would happen. I would come around half slumped on his bed to him shaking me and pleading with me to wake up. I had no idea how I'd got there or what had happened. He would report back to me that I screamed in the night - a blood curdling scream, he said, but I had no memory of it. The confusion got worse and one day I couldn't speak. I just couldn't form words anymore, like where my mind used to be was a big blank, white space. My boyfriend took me to hospital where a doctor said he'd make sure I was referred for therapy and perhaps in the meantime I could join a choir. I went back to the GP and asked her to give me anything but sertraline. The strange thing was, despite every painful and extreme experience that was happening to me, my sexual function was great again and I didn't want to go back to that numbness. The doctor prescribed Prozac, which made everything worse, and a week later I gave in and took Sertraline. The symptoms vanished in less than a week - no more vomiting, pain or cognitive confusion - but my genitals disappeared with them. I left my boyfriend, which initially made me feel happy and motivated, and I told myself I'd give my brain a break before weaning back off the meds. Not long afterwards, the pandemic hit. I wasn't going to have sex anyway, so why go through discontinuation? When lockdown ended, I realised i had no sexual or romantic feelings anymore and was struggling to find a partner. I was now 35 and wanted to have children, but dates led nowhere. I couldn't feel a thing. I phoned my gp and started weaning down. Afraid of discontinuation syndrome, I took it very slowly and weaned over about 18 months. 48 hours after my last pill, vertigo emerged and I started vomiting. I vomited for six days but there were no cognitive symptoms so this was fine by me. A day or so after I stopped being sick, I put music on in my car and it was like I was on ecstasy. The sounds were thrilling, my brain was lighting up, I felt completely alive. But my genitals were still numb. After a couple of weeks, I started to panic and went online where I found out about PSSD. But every forum I saw helpfully stated that if you have been off the pills for less than six months, don't condemn yourself to PSSD. Go out, forget about it, it'll come back. Reassured, I did exactly that. About nine months after discontinuation, I felt a change in my brain. I felt intense emotions, I felt alive, I felt motivated to do hobbies I'd dropped years ago. I started to think about sex, but when I did I felt nothing. My clitoris is almost entirely numb, my vulva feels dry and shrunken. But my ovarian function has been tested and is fine - neither do I have any of the other conditions that can reduce oestrogen (such as thyroid disease). It's now been a year since I stopped sertraline and my sexuality is still as it was when I was on the pills. I feel old and past it, like I'm 87, not 37 . My doctor is being fantastic. She's investigating every possible physical angle. I haven't told her yet that I fear it might be iatrogenic. We're currently approaching it like a coincidence - at some point during the course of treatment, something else happened that caused exactly the same symptoms as the side effects of the pills. Something about this feels desperate and delusional. I worry that I'll never feel that sexual urgency that I once did and that I might never enjoy sex or masturbation again. It's a devastating thought, but I don't want to tell myself this is permanent without evidence. It could still be temporary, and I want to act as if that's true. If you read that far then my God you're a hero - thank you!

Hello! I'm new to this site! I am happy to have found this forum reassuring and full of mutual help! I apologize in advance for my grammar errors, I am from Quebec and I don't speak English so I use Google translate! ☺️ Here is my little story! In August 2023, my doctor prescribed Sertraline (the French name for Zoloft) at my request. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety about a vestibular disorder that I have been living with for 1 year, it is very difficult to live with. So, I start Zoloft, the first week at 25mg everything is fine! The second week I increase to 50 mg, stomach aches and heart palpitation, sleeping problem, difficulty urinating! I tell myself that it will pass….5 days after starting my second week all the symptoms are getting worse and worse, and a strange feeling in my genial zone….a bit like arousal without thinking sexual…sorry for the details, a frequent urge to urinate and pain similar to cystitis, like needles in the bladder! Just sitting down caused these symptoms or going to the bathroom! The symptoms were almost constant! So I made the decision to stop everything and I called my pharmacist and explained the situation to him… although I had been taking this medication for a short time (1 week and 5 days) he told me to take a 25mg the same evening. and the next day stop everything, which I did! Slowly everything was reducing but it was still there. A week after stopping I started to have muscle spasms in my thigh, hips and buttock. Constantly these spasm was there. So I made an appointment with my doctor to explain the situation to her, she’s a woman so it’s less embarrassing. She recognized all the symptoms except that of genital arousal. She was very reassuring with me and told me that everything would gradually go away over time. Today it's been 3 months since I stopped everything, the symptoms are less and less frequent, and sometimes I feel these genital symptoms towards the end of my period or during my ovulation...but it's very mild and not like in the past. beginning. I read the story of HopeFull and Cathy French on this forum which I found very reassuring and it gave me a lot of hope that my symptoms will go away! I didn't have a diagnosis so I don't know if what I had was pgad like people say, but it looks like it but without the pain! I no longer have any urinary problems either, everything is gone. All that remains is this feeling which sometimes comes back slightly! Sorry for the very long text and thank you very much for your welcome and your listening! 🥰 Rudbeckie 🙂

Hi! Glad to have found this community. I was out on 25mg Sertraline after a stressful life phase caused burnout that ended with me at the hospital. The psychiatrist raised the dose to 50mg within two weeks of starting. After a couple of weeks of extremely weird new ‘electric’ sensations in my body that the doc assured was just my anxiety, I slowly over three months or so got used to the medication and started to feel better mentally. The life trigger that resulted in the burnout ceased being there around month 6 on Sertraline, and I worked with the psychiatrist to begin tapering as I believed then I had developed other coping strategies through therapy, exercise and mindfulness practices. I was advised to taper to 0 within two weeks, but I intuitively felt that something that took 3 months to make the effect felt is likely not going to leave my system to pre-medication days in just two weeks, and decided on what I then thought was a slow and effective taper (I unfortunately did not come across this site before my taper attempt started 😕). Tapering to 25 mg from 50 and then to 12.5 and finally 0 all happened within a span of four months, with no symptoms whatsoever during the taper. It was about three weeks after the last dose that I started feeling funny physical symptoms— brain zaps, vertigo. These slowly faded away and mental ones took over along with new physical ones— irritability, low bandwidth for stress, thoughts that get stuck on a loop. Through therapy and mindfulness practices I learnt during my time on Sertraline, I am able to cope with the mental symptoms as of now. It’s the physical ones that are bothering me and reigniting my health anxiety— would appreciate input on these— chest pains, pain along nerves in limbs and torso, getting fatigued more easily from workouts. Docs have dismissed this as anxiety related, but I was pain-free before the meds. Ugh. I read about reinstating on the site but feel like my nervous system is overreacting to everything right now, and the mental symptoms I am able to cope with so far. What worked for you to survive the physical symptoms of withdrawal? Help!

Hey everybody, I’m a new member, so please let me know if this is not okay or goes against anything. I will keep it as short and sweet as I can. Many years ago, I was put on Sertraline. I was quite young and I can’t remember anything negative about it. In December last year, I was put on 50mg of Sertraline (28th), and I tapered off 25mg of Notripyline and stopped completely the day prior (27th). I was on the Sertraline for 2 weeks, and 4 days when the itchiness started. It feels like a light tickle, or as if something has brushed against my skin, like a hair. It can be anywhere on my body. Once I scratch it, it stops, and then will move elsewhere. I’m not frantically scratching, it’s not keeping me awake and I’m not damaging skin, but it makes me anxious, agitated and restless. I will often bounce my leg or do something. The itching stopped for a few days (27th Jan until 31st) and then returned. I did develop a rash on my stomach on the 27th, which was itchy and red. I’m unsure what caused this, but it was near my injection site where I inject Ajovy (a headache/migraine medication). I injected that on the 21st of Jan, rash appeared 27th. I don’t think it’s related to my itchiness, it happened to settle when I first had the rash. The rash is no longer itchy and is fading with hydrocortisone cream. I am also on 25mg of Quetiapine, which was increased to 50mg on the 27th of December last year to assist with any insomnia that weaning of the Notripyline may cause. I guess what I want to know, is this a side effect of Sertraline/SSRIs? I’m very worried I’m developed some sort of compulsion or health condition. I’ve read in a lot of places that itchiness can be a side effect due to the serotonin increase. I also smoke marijuana. I’ve never had any other drug reactions. Thank you in advance

Hello, just a little history about me I’m a 39 year old female who’s always had a bit of OCD/anxiety but never medicated. Around 6 years ago in 2018 my daughter was battling an illness that required my full attention/support so in order to cope with all the worry, anxiety I was prescribed 50mg of Setraline. I was on and off it over the years with no issues to deal with my daughter’s illness. Then in December 2020 I Cold Turkeyd Setraline and did fine for 4 months til I started having intrusive thoughts( which I didn’t know what these were) enough to freak me out and reinstated 50 mg of Zoloft in May 2021 just fine with no side effects. I stayed on this dose for over 2 years straight with no skipping. Fast forward to August 2023 I was in a better place mentally and my daughters illness was better so I decided to tapper on my doctors order to take 25mg of Setraline instead of 50mg for a few weeks. So I began to tapper in August breaking my 50mg pill in half. I never dealt with major withdraw symptoms or new what they were til these past few months have been hell. I started the crying non stop, lashing out, constipation, acid reflux, loss of appetite, urine issues as if I had a UTI, food sensitivity, AND WORST OF ALL A FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK. I called my dr and asked her what this was as I never experienced this before. It had been roughly 11 weeks of tapering from August to October so she advised me to go back to the original dose of 50mg ON OCTOBER 21, 2023. And that’s when I became worse. Two days later after updosing my Setraline to 50mg I was nauseous all day/vomiting , no appetite, trouble sleeping. This continued for 6 weeks when I was so dehydrated and my brain was not functioning correctly I went to the ER November 23 and told them what happened with the increase they said withdraw symptoms don’t last this long and it’s probably gastritis. So my husband told me to stop the increase and stay on 25mg of Sertraline since my dr was on Thanksgiving break. It’s been 45 days since I last changed my dosage back to 25mg of Setraline and have been feeling pretty awful: wake up with the cortisol spike/ anxiety in the morning running through my arms, Insomnia/broken sleep( wake up few times in the night), no appetite, depressed, OCD intrusive thoughts, panicky, nausea, sad/crying non stop, thoughts of death, tremors and back pain issues. I did cut out processed meats, fast food, caffeine, dairy and eating clean. What’s scaring me the most is this dark/doom symptom I’m having like there’s no point to live and I’m never been suicidal in the past just anxious person who worries a lot, but recently been feeling depressed. I truly want off this drug but want to know if what I’m doing in terms of dosage was the correct choice or should I have stayed on 50mg back in November and stabilized. PLEASE HELP ME Started my menstrual cycle 3 days early this month, today being day #1 and feeling depressed and down like I have no reason to live. I hate feeling like this I have 4 little kids who need their mother. Current medication: 25mg of Setraline magnesium citrate vitamin D 50 thousand( dangerously low) 2mg of melatonin My history *November 2018-2020 on and off 50 mg of Setraline (never experienced severe withdrawal) Cold Turkey Setraline December 2020 did fine for 4 months til I started having intrusive thought freaked out and started 50 mg of Setraline in May 2021 *May2021- August 2023 50 mg of Setraline *August 2023 25 mg of Setraline Didn’t know there was a such thing as severe withdrawal symptoms *First Noticed severe withdraw symptoms late October Loss of Appetite, anxiety attacks (never had these ) freaked out tried to reinstate at 50 mg for 6 weeks had more nausea, acid reflux vomiting, and insomnia throughout the 6 weeks so I went back to 25mg Sertraline . *Late December 2023 intrusive thoughts emerged.

Hi people, I am kind of desperate as I feel really weird for the last week or so and it is not the anxiety or the depression that I started the antidepressants for (at least this is how I perceive it). As you can see in the signature, there were a lot of changes and adjustments since I started the antidepressants. My current doc (will have a meeting with her on Wednesday) recommended to go up to 150mg of zoloft and so I did, in December. But by the end of December I started to feel super anxious again and upon google research (doc not available during the holidays), I decided by myself to drop back to 125. A week after that I started to feel really good, maybe best I've been since I started the medication. It lasted about until around 20th of January when I started to feel another increase in anxiety. Contacted the doc and she recommended another drop, to 100 mg. About 5 days later I started to feel a bit better, but only for 2-3 days. Then the weirdness started. I now have a feeling that I haven't had before (of course, I might perceive it like that since the mix of depression and anxiety with OCD and health anxiety on top is a BOMB cocktail), like I am not the same anymore, a dreamlike feeling, a bit dissociative, a bit emotionally numb, a bit of confusion, ability to focus on something dropped a bit etc. Feels a bit like the derealization I had when I felt into depression, back in summer 2023, but without that severe depression. I fear that my brain got permanently "damaged" (a bit illogical, I know, but the fear is there) from all these meds and adjustments. I feel this new state to be even scarier than the anxiety attacks I was having in Autumn (at least I was feeling better after an attack, for the rest of the day, optimistic and hopeful) because I am in it the whole day, with minor ups and downs. Can I actually feel this way because of the last drop in dosage? If so, why I haven't feel this way when I dropped from 150 to 125? Lately I was thinking that upping the escitalopram dosage from 10 to 20 mg, back in September (I had a rough week right after I returned from holiday, anxiety was through the roof the week before I went up on 20 mg) was a mistake and maybe I just had to push through and stay on 10mg. I have the feeling that I have been overmedicated since then. I actually dropped back to 10mg mid Novemeber (and then switched to zoloft) after I complained several times to my doc that I started to feel a bit weird, mood shifts during the day, like feeling great in the first half and like **** in the afternoon. Also, I am seriously thinking in the last few days to start weaning off the poison, because I started to believe these meds are actually doing more wrong than good (of course, these words may come out just because I feel super off lately) I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks!

Dear All, this is my first post and I hope it is in the correct area. I also hope my signature has my drug history in it - it did take a while to craft. I, like so many here have been blindsided by this horrible withdrawal process. My story is profoundly similar to you all. Needless to say: one and off for serval decades, believing the 'top-up' version of serotonin. Acknowledging the authority of the GP that an antidepressant is the answer for my now and into my future, experiencing years of minor checking in for repeat prescription. ... Friends suggesting that I would be silly to go off them etc. Repeat, repeat, rep.. Yet I was putting on weight, I was frustrated that there was no sexuality in me and I was getting more scatty. MY Life however was very good, issues were behind me. Time to leave the tablets behind. So after an apparently fast taper off Sertraline (not that I understood that at the time - I thought I was being responsible) - originally 100mg for several years then 50 mg for 6 months, then 25mg for a month, then ceased Nov 1st 2023 - I experienced the world of horror that is invisible to everyone else. Panic set in and I decide to reinstate so I can come off properly (hindsight knowledge). I scour the world for advice. CAUTION is what I read. Three GPs say 'its simple' go back on 25 or so then 50 back to 100. SA and Quora comments say go low and slow. I have sought advice from Dr Horowitz email address. I have searched tapering sites. and other forums/Facebook groups. I have read SA reinstatement info (but I am not taking much in particularly well). SO I recommenced Sertraline two weeks ago. First 6 days - 5mg Next 6 days - 10mg Last 2 days - 15mg I have had tiny several hours of peace on the days I introduced or increased the doses then dread and tension join me again. Are these good signs or not? I aim to get back to 50 mg at least - my last stable dose. But how to do this? Have I reintroduced Sertraline back into my body sufficiently that I can make a larger jump or should I continue this 5mg increments? Am I exacerbating/compromising the beautiful nervous system of mine more by these low doses? Has the gate closed on Sertraline for me - now 9 or so weeks out? Do I take Lorazapam in tiny amounts while waiting for the Sertraline to take effect? Etc?? I am keeping clear of all substances except for a probiotic daily. I cannot work properly in this state I have crashed into. My daughter is too frightened to talk to me although she texts with loving thoughts. One sister, who has NO idea about this, keeps me company at times and for this I am grateful. I yearn for a companion of this reinstatement journey. Please may I have some advice if it is out there. Peace to you all...

Late in 2013 and early in 2014 I was experiencing severe depression relating to toxic exposures and extreme workload in the glassworks I worked in. My brother made note of an orange discoloration of my skin which neither of us recognised the significance of yet most likely was caused by liver failure. During the first week of February 2014 the heatwave raised temperatures outside of the factory to 45C, with temperatures inside likely reaching 50C. Equipment breakdowns, resulting from the heat, intensified the workload and I finally collapsed from heat stroke. Due to understaffing I was left lying on the factory floor without assessment of help. I was forgotten and took five hours to recover sufficiently to try to return home. As I, and other workers, were convinced that the corporate management was willing to kill us I quit the job but never recovered. In late March, when my GP referred me to mental health services after I became suicidal, they assumed full responsibility claiming that my condition was completely unrelated to my employment and that they could quickly and easily cure me. I was detained in a mental health ward. The initial antidepressant (type unknown) left me almost comatose just an hour after the first dose so I was switched to sertraline. Anyone given this knows the intense bouts of akathisia it induces during the first couple of weeks, and I was no exception, treatment seemed to go fairly normally. After just two weeks they declared me cured, released me from the ward, and switched psychiatrists on me. Two weeks later my health collapsed and depression returned. I later worked out that impaired liver function had increased the half life of the benzodiazepine medication (lorazepam), used in the ward, and that they had been suppressing the symptoms of my illness during my detainment. The sertraline itself had absolutely no benefit with all improvement just an illusion created by the benzodiazepine. My sertraline dosage was doubled and the treating psychiatrist refused to believe me about its ineffectiveness and the subsequent rapid increase in negative side effects to it. During the first week of July I experienced a migraine which lasted for around thirty hours. When the clinic opened on the Monday morning I was still experiencing the migraine and called the clinic begging them to let me stop taking the sertraline. I was threatened with detainment and forced treatment if I failed to take it. An hour after taking it I experienced the first of three thunderclap headaches, smashed my home, almost committed suicide, and spent hours trying to walk off the resulting intense akathisia despite the sunlight burning my eye's. Over the next six or so weeks I experienced the other two thunderclap headaches with around fifteen subsequent hyperintense bouts of akathisia driving me to walk miles over the next two years. For five years after the first thunderclap headache I experienced the constant intense electric feeling of adrenergic storming as well as a constant urge to kill, which was likely a consequence of my liver issues in combination with the adrenergic storming. The treating psychiatrist, who had been subject to repeated complaints by patients and who was responsible for a patients death in the ward during my time of treatment, decided to cover up my adverse response and claimed that I was faking my condition. That claim left me with almost no medical care over subsequent years. Throughout the following years I suffered from intense illness which has since been diagnosed as a combination of autoimmune myopathy (myositis), gall stone induced jaundice (prior to cholecystectomy a few years ago; evidence of the long period of illness was present in the form of adhesions surrounding the gall bladder found when it was removed). Barrett's oesophagus, chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension, and a range of other lesser issues.

Hello all, long time reader first time poster. Firstly I just wanted to say how awesome it is to have such a place to go and receive help for what can only be described as a nightmare that thousands of people seem to go through. So here is my story which I will end with a few questions I have. As you can see from my signature, I was placed on 50mg of Sertraline (Zoloft) in September 2009. This is when my life was turned upside down. I was originally placed on this drug because I visited my local doctor comlaining about some anxiety that I was getting after I drank alcohol. I must say that for a period of about 8 years I was a heavy binge drinker. I was a typical 18 year old who went out every weekend and got blind drunk with his mates. This was obviously starting to take its toll on me once I hit 25 years of age and that is why I visited my doctor. Well I was in there for a total of about 10 minutes before he prescribed me 50mg of Zoloft telling me this would help with taking the edge off of my anxiety. I did what he suggested and this was the worst mistake of my life. I returned to the doctor within 10 days of starting 50mg complaining of the worst symptoms (severe agitation, anxiety and now depression). Unfortunatley I could not see the original doctor so I saw another doctor there at the time. He said I must need a higher dose and that 100mg was the normal dose he puts his patients on. He also prescribed valium to me (which I took a couple of times). The next 3 months of my life was like a horror film. I became suicidal with severe symptoms that I had never experienced before going on the drug. I seem to settle after about 3 months, but it must be said I never was without symptoms, but they were less severe. Around 12 months after starting the drug, I began to get more severe symtoms. I returned to the doctor and he once again up'd my dosage to 150mg. The next 3 months were a nightmare again, severe agitation etc. For the next 6 years I floated between 100mg and 150mg. I spent thousands of dollars on therapy to treat an apparent panic disorder; although I didn't mind the therapist, the information we went through just didn't seem to apply to me i.e. I wasn't thinking any of the ways he was suggesting was causing my symptoms. It wasn't until I started looking into more natural ways and researching antidepressants that I realised that maybe the drug could be the problem! Lightbulb moment! I have read a lot of books from authors like Peter Breggin, Joseph Glenmullen, etc. which I am sure most of you have read. I also have been doing a lot of work with a nutritionist. I had a 23andme test done and found out a couple of interesting points. I have a COMT gene mutation which means I break down adrenaline and dopamine slower and I also have a mutation in another gene which I can't remember the name of which means I break down serotonin slower. What this actually suggests to me and my nutritionist agrees is that I may have been quite toxic with levels of serotonin which was causing serotonin syndrome. Alot of my symptoms were a mirror image of serotonin syndrome (agitation etc.). So as you can see from my signature, I began tapering in February 2016. My problem now is that I seem to have hit a huge brick wall. I may have tapered a little fast and was hit with severe withdrawal symptoms which have not gone away. I have been holding at my current dose of 60mg for almost 4 months now. This past 4 months has been the worst 4 months of my life. It started with severe symptoms like pounding headaches, vomitting, insomnia, not being able to sit still (severe agitation) as well as some depression. It has progressed from there to now being just severe depression. I am not depressed about anything in particular other than the way I feel. It is like I am completely numb with emotions aside from being really upset. I have no appetite and really struggle to get through each day. I am very fatigued and lack motivation to do the most basic of things. I am pushing through it as best I can still working fulltime and excercising a couple of times a week plus playing golf on the weekend. I must say that I have a great life. I love my job, I have a beautiful wife and young son (8 months) and honestly have everything to live for. It is just these horrendous symptoms are ruining it all. So finally to my questions and looking for advice from some veterans on here. What should I do next? Should I continue to hold at 60mg until things get better, or should I continue at a 10% taper and see if things get worse or perhaps better? From previous drops, I seem to have a period of improvement on symptoms for about 2-4 weeks, and then it begins to decline until I drop again. I am not sure whether that means I should keep reducing or slow down. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks all.

I have been a member for a while here but I actually have never participated in the forum. Quite frankly, the signature and history part is too overwhelming in the past for me to do just because going through it is admitting the longevity on my situation and bringing it up at any junction is painful. I was wondering if someone can just guide me on what is needed. I have been on antidepressants for 30 years. I have been going through a rough patch (if that is what you want to call it ) on a set of new meds. I have a history of bipolar. I cant guarantee my participation or how fast I will respond but I will try. I need some support overall.

I am going through withdrawal from setraline zoloft used for 22 years, have tried to quit but failed, hope to find help here and help others Haven't drank alcohol in 2 years, haven't had a problem with alcohol like that but drank too much when I did. Going to a psychologist Have not used other drugs only zoloft. When I took zoloft my highest dose was 100mg, withdrawal was if I remember 6 weeks 50mg and 25mg 4 weeks if I remember correctly I have made a suspension of 2.5 months with the end of the last tablet of 25mg 2023-11-06 But now I have severe anxiety and compulsive behavior. Have I made too short a delay? Anyone have any tips on how I should do it? Thanks have nice day

Hello everyone, First, I will start with a brief introduction, followed by my story, and finally, I will describe how I am feeling today. -English isn't my first language.- I am a 32-year-old man, a teacher who has studied psychology. I want to share my story because I found a lot of support in reading stories on this website, especially the success stories. Throughout my life, I have been battling anxiety. It's important to note for the upcoming story that I have never experienced depression. I've always been a very sporty, energetic, emotional, and motivated person. My anxiety mainly manifested as hypochondria, and I began therapy for it around the age of 18. This helped me a lot. I am still undergoing therapy with the same person—a psychiatrist who works both in a hospital during the day and as a private practitioner in the evening where he gives psychotherapy(which is somewhat unique in my country). At around 19 years old, I used Sipralexa (also called Escitalopram/Lexapro) for about 6 months. I felt a bit less excited and experienced sexual side effects, such as delayed ejaculations, it required a lot of effort to reach orgasms. I decided to stop the medication without tapering off, and fortunately, I didn't experience significant symptoms after quitting. About a year later, I started taking St. John's Wort (Sint Jans Kruid) at a dosage of 900mg per day, divided into three doses of 300mg each. I continued with St. John's Wort until the day my story begins. My story I still can't believe that what I am about to write happened to me and is still happening. I know it's a bit unusual to spoil the story, but yeah, I can do what I want with my own story: I'm actually getting better. 24 October 2022, Appointment with My Therapist, who is also a Psychiatrist After complaining about increased anxiety and stress, my therapist suggested trying something stronger than the St. John's Wort I was using. It was just a suggestion. Initially, I declined, and we didn't delve into it further during the session. However, at the very end, and to my regret, I said, ‘you know what, actually I am almost always stressed and anxious, let me try those meds: Sertraline it was.’ 26 October 2022, My First Dose I was prescribed Sertraline 25mg/day, to take in the morning. On this day, I stopped taking the 900mg St. John's Wort and took my first 25mg Sertraline in the morning. A few hours later, I already noticed the delayed ejaculation as described earlier in my story. Later in the evening, during a university class, I experienced a moment of confusion and detachment. For a brief period (a minute or 5), I couldn't see the point of being in class or even being alive. I knew in my head why I was in class and why I am in this world, but I couldn't feel it. Those 5 minutes were the worst thing I have ever experienced. Later that evening, I had to leave the class due to a panic attack, larger than any I had experienced before. (I had never left class before). The day after, in the morning, while working on my computer, I couldn't focus. The letters on the screen seemed too much, and they were a bit 'dancing,' like when you move your phone while trying to read a message. I texted my psychiatrist and was told it could be a side effect that possibly goes away (at this point, I didn't talk about that weird 5 minutes in class). Then, a few days later, I wanted to surprise my dad while he was fishing, as I always did, because it made him very happy. However, this day was different. I arrived at the lake, and there he was, my dad, already smiling because he had a feeling I would come and sit with him for the rest of the day. As he grabbed another chair out of his car, because he always brings one for me, he said, 'aaaa here is my son!!' Normally, that would make me feel so happy, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't imagine why sitting there would make me happy, and it broke me completely. To see my dad confused when I said, 'No dad, thanks. I'm feeling very tired. Just wanted to say hi. I'm going home now.' 4 November 2022, The Day Hell Broke Loose Due to the sexual side effects and the weird moments of 'mood drops' - not feeling connected or seeing the point - I decided to quit Sertraline. My last 25mg tablet was the morning before (3 November). I had taken it for 10 days. 10 AM: I went to the barber, felt anxious, and couldn't relax for a second. I was in continuous fight or flight mode. 13 PM: I arrived home and experienced pure horror, a feeling that hurt more than anything I could imagine. I didn't want to live for another minute with this feeling, not a second. It was too hard. I ran into my big brother's room and said, 'I don't know what's going on, I can't take this anymore.' He asked, 'What?' and I replied, 'I don't know, I have this feeling I can't live with.' I tried to explain as best I could and said, 'I would rather be in a wheelchair without legs for the rest of my life than endure one more minute with this feeling.' (To be clear, I don't want to compare situations of suffering; it just came to my mind at that moment to try to find words for what I was feeling). But now I know, you can't describe this feeling with words; only the people who have experienced it will understand. Later that evening, I felt a bit of relief, but still in pure hell. This is actually a very clear trend/lifeline in my story: the evenings are (almost) always better. At this point, I was without Sertraline or St. John's Wort: the mood drops and sexual side effects were definitely caused by the Sertraline because I did not experience them on St. John's Wort. The next day, I started taking St. John's Wort again. The next months are pure hell, feeling almost nothing (except pure horror) during the day to feeling relief in the evening. Let me explain in more detail: -I will regularly add dates to my story so it is easier to follow. (I always used to count months in the success stories to compare to myself; I know everybody has their own timeline of recovery, but I still compared.)- 4 November - 13 November, The first week without Sertraline, With 900mg St. John's Wort/day again, I didn't notice any improvements and called almost every day to the Psychiatrist (PSY) to tell him I can't live with this feeling. Due to my psychology study, I made sure to include that I am not feeling suicidal. This was a lie, but I was sure I was not going to do it. My psychiatrist made sure I could come and visit at least one time every week and could call or text him at any moment. I count myself lucky to have a person like him as my therapist. The first thing he said was, 'I never had someone telling me about these problems, and it is not described, but that does not mean that you are not feeling this. I am here and I am not too old to learn.' This made such a big difference. 14 November 2023, I told my PSY about possible withdrawal 'I think it's withdrawal!' I said and was told that this is very unlikely because I was only on the medication for 10 days and that it didn't reach my blood-brain barrier. But also, he asked about my theory, how the medication could cause me to feel this way. I told him I can't really explain, and we consented that if it would be withdrawal, it would go away when the medication is reinstated. He prescribed me a magistral preparation of 5mg Sertraline so I could take this instead of 25mg. I will add a schedule, maybe it could be of importance for anyone: 14/15/16/18 NOV: 10mg Sertraline, no St. John's Wort. While writing this, it is getting clear to me that I got even worse: Almost no sleep, more horror. 18 NOV: 25mg Sertraline + 1 tablet of 'Deanxit': never took it afterward (this day I was really bad and called the doctor and psychiatrist on the same day). - As you notice, I actually start going up with the medication hoping it would make this horror go away)- 19 NOV - 30 NOV: 25mg Sertraline - Getting worse, so quick taper- 1 DEC: 20mg 2 DEC: 15mg 3/4 DEC: 15mg + 1 St. John's Wort (300mg) 5-11 DEC: 10mg + 1 St. John's Wort 12 DEC: 5mg Sertraline + 2 St. John's Wort (600mg) - the lower I went with the Sertraline, the better my sleep got- 13 DEC: 0mg Sertraline + 3 St. John's Wort (900mg) 1 January 2023, goodbye to life as I knew it In the following months, the feeling of pure horror is starting to fade a bit and it gets replaced with anhedonia and depression: not able to enjoy anything and not feeling the motivation to do anything. Switching from almost not feeling (except anxiety and just feeling bad) to feeling a little bit of emotion. In the evenings, it always got a little bit better, and I had an occasional laugh but not the same as before where I would really laugh. Important to know is, I couldn't enjoy ANY activity, I actually did things just to distract (try) myself from this empty filthy numb feeling. Example: I used to love photography. I went from a little idea to finding myself miles away in the city to work out a creative photo project. I couldn't wait to get home and share my pictures with friends and family. 'Oh, is it already time to sleep? I want to edit a bit more!' But at this point, I just walk and walk. I don't want to walk... why do I even hang this camera around my neck? ..., why take pictures..., let's go home... why home? What will I do there, waiting and hoping I will feel better one day. Also, I am not able to work anymore at this point due to what I am going through. June 2023, it got a little bit less intense, 8 months into this. As the months went by, I noticed that bad got a little less bad and the evenings got a little bit better: for me, this was huge, but don't expect much of it. Examples: -5 minutes without thinking about all this -5 minutes without surviving -Brief thoughts about getting back to work (before I was very sure I would never work again) In the evenings, I was able to relax a bit and feel positive. Example: Morning,I can't take it anymore VS Evening, it will all be alright one day... Also, I noticed that I am getting DEEP pain when I think about my family or my grandma who passed away many years ago: I start crying, like deep suffering, howling like a wolf for sometimes hours. I will come back to this later. November 2023, am I really getting better? 13 months in It is hard to talk about this now because I just told my whole story, and I am very much reminded of all I have gone through, so I feel exhausted, empty, and scared. Actually, I do feel scared every time I want to say something positive because I think it will all be bad again. I noticed that sometimes I (just a little bit) wanted to go to my family in the evening because I knew it would make me feel better (before it was just killing time, hoping to distract myself). The deep cries and suffering I told you about are giving me relief. WHAT RELIEF? I didn't expect to ever get that again. How Am I Feeling Today 1 January 2024, the day of writing this Story. 14 months in Happy New Year to all of you. I am proud of all of you for still being here, and my biggest wish for this year is for everyone, including me, that is suffering, to say: 'Happy New Year again in 2025, and who knows it really is happy then.’ For me, it was difficult to see all the people celebrating and being happy, but then I reminded myself that if I am in a group of people giving kisses and saying happy new year, no one would know that I am actually not that happy. I think this is a beautiful thing: I will always remind myself that a lot of people struggle, and I want to be here for them. At this point, I am able to play games and laugh a bit, watch series and enjoy it a bit. There are moments where I feel good without thinking too much. The mornings and the bad moments aren't that bad anymore, and the better moments can actually be a bit good sometimes. I am looking for a new job because teaching, standing in the spotlight all day, isn't for me anymore. And when I think about a possible new job, I really see it happening (don't know if I am already capable), but seeing it happen is a HUGE thing considering what I am going through. I Am Tapering SJW In the months before, I also noticed that I am feeling worse after forgetting to take one or two tablets of SJW, and I decided that I want to quit SJW. I made a plan according to the tapering instructions on this website: 10% drop every 4 weeks. I am now at my second drop of 10%, that means 2 tablets and 236mg* of a tablet. *The weight of a tablet is not the same as the active ingredient: 1 tablet weighs 555mg and contains 300mg of the active ingredient SJW. I am calculating my 10% drops on the active ingredient. I am now at 742mg/day SJW (active ingredient). SJW is not known for withdrawal, but 2 days after every drop, I feel (a lot) worse: no motivation, more tired, not enjoying things, mood swings and after about 6/7 days, it feels back to before the drop. So, I am sure I had an adverse reaction to Sertraline, and also the SJW is giving me withdrawal (I used it for more than 10 years, as you can see in my story). The End, for today:p I still have a long way to go, and there will be a lot of moments/days/weeks where I think I will never get better, but I am grateful for the progress I have made so far. To actually believe that maybe one day I will feel good/normal again gives me a lot of relief and hope. One thing that always makes me feel better is to be able being there for people who are suffering, so I will write updates and answer questions if any. Finally, I would like to take the time to thank everyone who is building this community, especially Altostrata: I admire your power to get through all the suffering for so many years and afterwards helping so many people like me. Please know that your work, together with my family and my psychologist, made me stay. Kind regards, Berlin

Long story short, I went to see my GP when I was in my early 20s with a list of printed off depression symptoms and without offering any other suggestions, I was prescribed Sertraline (I'm the UK, I believe it's commonly called Zoloft in the US?) Anyway, about 4 years ago I began a long journey of intensive therapy and healing after a traumatic childhood experience came to light, and on this journey, I carefully tapered my Sertraline down to 50mg; and then this year down to 25mg. My problem is where next. I have read these forums in great depth; trouble is my GP has told me they cannot prescribe liquid; and the 25mg sertraline tablets I take are smooth round ones that crumble horribly when I try cutting them. My GP said I can just stop now I'm at 25mg, but experience from reading people's accounts suggests it just won't be that simple. I want to do this properly - I don't want to be medicated for the rest of my life and I'm in very much a different place than I was back then. As I near 40, my coping strategies are solid and I have a wonderful network of support. Maybe I'm overthinking it and I can just drop to alternative days from 25mg then stop after a settlement period? Unfortunately my Doctor hasn't been much help at all, so I'm hoping someone here can perhaps give me an insight. I once tried their recommended taper of 50mg every other day (I think it was last year) but the brain zaps were too much for me (I have an 8 year old child and while my husband is around too, being debilitated for most of the day isn't really an option for me). I can appreciate and tolerate a certain level of discomfort, I know this isn't an easy journey by any means, but it was absolutely too much and I don't want to fall into that trap again and become disheartened. Really humbly grateful for any guidance, thank you for reading.

Hi, this will take a while to write down as i’m suffering to remembering things clearly. When I was 16(2013) I got diagnosed with ADD, social anxiety and a learning disability. I was put on Atomoxetin and Sertraline where I refused to take them most of the time as I just didn’t want to be different from the other kids. Didn’t experience any side effects at all and I quit taking the pills CT a year after without any WD. In mid 2018 I was put on citalopram 20mg and seroquel(25mg but told me I could take up to max 75mg a day and switch between doses if I felt like I needed it) for sleep, after I developed an ED and a depression due to a past abusive relationship. had severe side effects at first, but wanted to feel better desperatly so I held out. In 2019 my anxiety got worse and my doctor increased my dose to 40mg of citalopram and lastly to 60mg. In start 2021 I began feeling almost sicker, having severe headaches, extreme irritability, stomach aches, bloating and numbness. decided I didn’t want to live like this, I educated myself on the medications I was taking and I was shocked to say the least. I contacted my doctor and we started started tapering down from 60mg citalopram in 2021 in May to 30mg, with no problems but experienced extreme withdrawal when i tapered down too fast from 30 to 12mg after a month. on a steady dose of 15mg of citalopram from July up to now. Been Tapering down on quetiapine from august 16th 2021 to (75mg, 50mg, 25mg, 12mg and been on 6mg for my last dose in April 2022. I wanna keep updating my progress here since i’ve had horrible withdrawals from the quetiapine tapering for the past 4 months, with very little windows.

HI everyone, I am so glad i have found this forum, After 10 years of being on Sertraline 200mg a day, and Gabapentin 900mg a day for 7 years i am well in the throws of withdrawal , this has been the hardest thing i have ever had to go through , i was missed diagnosed 10 years ago and actually now realize that there was actually nothing medically wrong with me , i just needed a bit of support and understanding but instead was put on medication, i am going through hell with these horrendous withdrawal symptoms, head zaps ,sickness, diarrhoea, hot sweats, fatigue, ear ache, painful mouth, headaches, severe mood swings, headaches, depression, dizziness, the list goes on , this now is just over a month it is wearing me down , sometimes i feel and see how far i have come but then 3 hrs later i seem to be back where i was, its hard to dig deep when there is no one around you that knows what your going through or what you feel ,will i ever be back to how i should be ??

I’m unsure on the right terminology because I’m not sure what I believe anymore so please bear with me. last year after ten years on citalopram I had a sudden relapse in depression and anxiety (you could say I pooped out but who knows). The relapse has crippled me and it’s immeasurably worse than the first time around. It’s consumed me and I feel like I’ve lost my identity. Through this period the doctor changed me to sertraline and again to venlafaxine. Both of which had zero effect. I wanted to look at exploring more naturalistic remedies (not sure how appropriate it is to discuss this on this format so I will leave that there- but happy to hear people’s stories and experiences of doing that) but I’ve had a really tough Fortnight and when I went back to the docs this week he wanted me to try mirtazipine. I have taken that for two nights but after a chat with my therapist this morning who’s very critical of medications and the role of seretonin in all this I’m questioning if it’s the right thing. It’s all so hard when you are extremely desperate and just want relief really interested to hear everyone’s views and experiences

Hi SAD Community, I've been visiting this site as a resource for a while now, and am at a point where I need advice/support from some of you with more experience than myself on this extremely difficult journey. I'm a 32 year old male, and I've been taking Sertraline (Zoloft) since I was 22, with a short (but horrific, after tapering too quickly and going back on after several months) layoff at age 25 - so effectively for about a decade. I have also been on Gabapentin as a "mood stabilizer" since age 25. In that time, I also took Bupropion (Wellbutrin) SR for several years, but had to stop cold turkey a little over two years ago due to intolerable side effects that began when Sertraline seemed to stop working so well. I've intermittently used Adderall IR and Ritalin as well in low dosages throughout the past 7 years. Although going cold-turkey from Bupropion was very difficult, I was already at a difficult point in my life regardless, and for the most part recovered after several months. One year and 3 months ago (August/September 2022), I began tapering Sertraline from 75mg, using the support of this website. I've followed protocol and tapered by 10% every 4-6 weeks using a tablet + liquid formula for precise measurement. I have gotten down to 41mg and have remained stuck at this dose for several months now. Once I realized I was stuck with Sertraline, I've tapered the Gabapentin a bit, to try and "even" the cocktail out. I'm down from 2400 to 1800mg. I remain stuck at 41mg of Sertraline and 1800mg of Gabapentin. The depression, anxiety, rumination, and general lack of all motivation is about all I can bare right now. I had to move back in with my parents, as I find myself unable to even keep a job. This has put tremendous financial strain on myself and my family, who are attempting to be supportive, but are at about the end of their rope with me. I, myself, am at the end of my rope. I am barely functioning. To make matters more complex, I had an appendectomy in 2016 that never totally healed correctly, and now that I'm down on my meds, it seems that some of the symptoms from complications are rearing more of an ugly head - namely, abdominal pain, a problem with blood flow to my male parts, and GI issues. I cannot really eat, as I rarely have an appetite, and anything I eat during the day makes my belly distend grossly, with worsened lack of motivation, depression, and anxiety. At night my mood seems to lift a bit and my appetite comes alive. I have questioned if the issues with blood flow to my genitals are early signs of PSSD (as my lubido is certainly down, despite always having had a high lubido, even on Sertraline), but I am mostly very depressed and ruminative, and can luckily perform and finish with my girlfriend pretty much fine. The issues "down there" seem to be stemming from what I suspect are adhesions compressing my inguinal canal from surgery. I'm currently working with a doctor about the possibility of having surgery again to remove the adhesions. I also suspect my GI issues are, to a large degree, the result of adhesions possibly obstructing my GI tract. I'm aware that the medications have an antimicrobial effect, and I suspect pulling them out has gradually allowed bad bacteria to flourish in an already-hostile environment. My doctor confirms this could be the case from his assessment, and we are currently awaiting imaging results to make a better judgment call before consulting a surgeon. I mention the complications with my abdomen because my somatic experiencing has been highly flawed since surgery, which I numbed with medications and marijuana for years. I was a competitive weightlifter, and it completely derailed my career. I can barely workout these days without increasing pain/discomfort. I also cannot fully breathe into my diaphragm, which I used to be able to do with great affinity, being a highly trained weightlifter. I'm certain that my lack of somatic experiencing is contributing to my worsening mental state as the meds have been pulled out, simply due to lack of ability to diaphragmatically breathe in and of itself. I have explored this topic in EMDR therapy and always come back to it when processing my mental states in relation to my somatic experience. I'm seeking advice on what direction to take. Part of me is attempting to hold out until (hopefully) getting surgery before making anymore medication moves, to see if it frees my abdominal cavity/diaphragm so that I can begin exercising more intensely and hopefully begin addressing GI issues. Another part of me is at the end of my rope and considers going back up on Sertraline, or trying something else, to manage the extreme depressive and ruminative states. I cannot focus on anything but these problems. I have always been an anxious worrier and a ruminator, since I was a little kid, as long as I can remember. I question why even bother getting off these meds, as I wonder if there's even a person "underneath" who can function without them. I should also mention that I've displayed some "traits" of borderline personality disorder since I was a teen, although never receiving a formal diagnosis. Fear of being alone/abandonment, a lack of consistent identity, and deep emptiness have typically been themes for me, although lessened to a large extent when my meds were fully in effect. IF I were to try and go back up on Sertraline, what are the chances it even works still, or doesn't cause a paradoxical reaction? How would I even go about this? And, given the other issues - abdominal/pelvic problems, underlying mental illness my whole life, finances - where do I even begin to assess my situation? I also consider reinstating a low dose of a stimulant, as I have been diagnosed ADHD, and a stimulant takes away at least 70% of my rumination and inability to get things done. The issue there is, while down on my other meds, the side effects once the stimulant wears off are far more pronounced (anxiety, jaw tension, insomnia). I would need something else to "take the edge off", particularly at bed time. I'm very aware that no one can make these decisions for me, but perhaps some of you have dealt with a similar situation during tapering, and can perhaps help someone with a ton of executive dysfunction currently sort out these variables. I cannot keep up this level of functioning, and I'm very concerned, as I'm not even halfway off of meds yet and it's already this bad. Please help, or at least just say hello.

I am a 70 year old man who has been on Zoloft for about 25 years and wants out . I take 100mg daily and I do not trust my current medical practioner to help me to finally get clean.

Hi, I just signed up today. Started taking sertraline February 2021. Was initially on 50g and after a few weeks put up to 100 mg. Developed stiff hands, jaw and throat to point it affects speech when really tight. Also memory loss etc but not what is bothering me as much as the physical symptoms. Severe bruxism even with mouth guard. Stopped taking abruptly after 6 months as wanted to see if jaw and hand problem went away. It’s been over two years and still no different. Has anyone experienced similar. Thanks

Hi everyone, Wanted to introduce myself. I am no stranger to these bizarre symptoms often associated with withdrawal: dizziness, brain fog, hypersensitivity to light & sound, DP/DR etc having suffered with an awful case of chronic vestibular migraine after having my 2nd child 7 years ago, brought on by a case of PPD / anxiety. I had all those symptoms 24/7 for a good 3 years, then started to see upward improvement. Got myself to a very good place through nutrition, 4 days per week of strength training & supplements (including 5-htp) for the past 4 years so aware these neurological symptoms can take time to heal. Then just after Christmas, had another attack of anxiety & severe depression. Interestingly a lot of the symptoms I had before started coming back...dizziness, feeling disconnected from everyone, feeling like I was seeing the world behind glass, brain fog, couldn't organise my thoughts, migraines, no motivation for anything & sleeping a lot. I work full time & with 2 children, I needed to get back to functioning. So went to the GP who prescribed me Sertraline 50mg. I was desperate to feel back to normal again. I stopped taking my 5-htp (was on 80mg before bed at this point) for a coupe of days prior, and Knowing my sensitive nervous system, I started Sertraline by titrating slowly; cutting the 50mg in half to 25mg, then cutting that into quarters. I started by taking a quarter of 25mg, then over the course of 7 days, worked up to 18.75mg. From the first dose & for the whole week I suddenly just could not sleep like before. It was taking me hours to fall asleep & when I finally felt I had drifted off I would be in a very light half sleep, being awoke by the smallest thing. Though the small dose of Sertraline had actually taken away the dizziness & brain fog, the lack of sleep had me feeling like a zombie. It was not a trade off I wanted. So I stopped at 18.75mg cold turkey at day 7. Sleep did not improve. This was 2 weeks ago now. A couple of days after I stopped, I decided to try re-instate a low dose of 5-htp seeing as previously this had always helped me sleep. It did not help & in fact made things worse. I had sweating, racing heart, tremors, awful anxiety, dizziness, brain fog, depression came back but worse. Appetite went, I really don't feel like getting out of bed at all, I force myself to keep working out & it takes an enormous amount of effort, knowing that if I don't work out at all I will feel even worse (not overdoing it but doing something at least). So now I'm back to square one, I feel the same, or maybe slightly worse than when I first got hit with vestibular migraine symptoms 7 years ago. Daily life was an exhausting struggle back then, I couldn't believe how disabled one could feel whilst looking 'normal'. With all the weird derealization symptoms, light & sound sensitivity, brain fog & dizziness & couple of new symptoms this time - insomnia & weakness. Knowing how long it took to feel better last time scares me, but I am also comforted by the knowledge that I did get better, much better & know I can get there again. But this time it feels like there's a lot more on my plate in terms of responsibilities - maintaining a job, 2 kids who need me etc & it does scare me. I'm also struggling to differentiate between what might be a return of my old symptoms & what may be due to any withdrawal symptoms as there are many which are identical. I've just ordered melatonin and planning on taking a low dose of this to see if it helps my disrupted sleep cycle as finding it so hard to function on barely any sleep! Anyway, hello to all who have to walk this rocky path. I will post updates as I go along with anything that I have found that helps. Also looking to connect with anyone in particular who has taken a low dose SSRI for a short period of time...

Hello all, I have been reading this site for awhile but recently decided to join. Please forgive me for any misspellings or anything poorly written as my brain is not what it once was as a result of these drugs. Even finding the motivation to write this post took me multiple days. My parents were very pro-medication at a young age, I developed OCD around age 10 and took Zoloft for approximately 2 years as I was told I needed it to get better. I was also on Ritalin from age 5-13. I went through most of high school and college unmedicated, until the end of college around age 21 deciding to seek out adderall again as my grades were starting to take a hit. I also had a breakup at the time and a doctor put me on 40mg fluoxetine (prozac). I wasn't even that sad but he said it would help take the edge off. I didn't think twice about this drug after taking it, and somehow ended up taking it for the following 10 years. Fast forward to age 31 (about 1.5 years ago) Things were going incredibly well in my life, recently married, job going well, driven and enjoying life, and I looked at my pill one day and thought, Why am I still taking this? I learned about the long half life of this drug and since I was told 10mg was the lowest dose, I asked my doc to change to 10mg which he did without a real question. I went from 40 to 20 to 10 in about a month, and then started taking the 10 every other day, every third day, every 4 days, and so on, until I got to one pill every two weeks. Since this was the minimum dose, I figured this was the most drawn out "taper" possible. I took my last pill somewhere around October of 2022 and oddly enough, the 2-3 weeks that followed were incredible. Life was brighter than it had ever been, I was happy and motivated to take my life to even another level i had not yet experienced. About one month off the drug, I started to notice some very strange effects. My body and mind did not feel right. I had extreme mood swings and fatigue, complete loss of libido that has never returned, and other symptoms. I got my testosterone tested and it was very low, in the first percentile for my age. Health is my biggest passion and I had done nothing to cause this, I had continued my extremely healthy eating, active lifestyle, great sleep etc so I found this very odd. I eventually went back on the drug for approximately 1.5 months to see if it helped with my issues and libido (and I had genital numbness), but it didn't seem to make any meaningful difference (I also dont think I tried it long enough) so I did the same "taper" again around Feb of 2023. Looking back my taper was probably more of a cold turkey than a taper, given my last dose was still a full dose (10mg). My testosterone level started to improve, but not without a ton of other symptoms coming and going over time. Whole body pains, cognitive issues, weird mental issues like extreme difficulty making decisions among other things. This has been an ever evolving range of symptoms, with some things sticking around changing in severity and others coming and going. My current symptoms which have been around for quite some time are an extreme lack of motivation and a strong sense of apathy. This is also accompanied by severe anhedonia. Every simple task has become difficult, and I often feel like I am stuck in the mud with the way I interact with the world in my new state. I struggle to work my job in whhich I have been a high performer for many years, and I require a lot of daily assistance from my wife and father. I feel like a burden on those around me, I am no longer the same person and I keep desperately searching and trying to find that person again. I have considered a reinstatement, but do not want to slow down my recovery - but at this point I am getting kind of desperate for some relief. It is hard to say if I have experienced any real windows, but I guess things are changing, even if not for the better, which signals something is going on in my body. I continue to care for my body in every way imaginable from a great diet, sleep, exercise. However I am sure there are other things I could be focusing on to heal more quickly. Open to any and all suggestions or advice. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

May 2024 be a year of healing! At the end of April 2023 I had a total knee replacement. 10 weeks later out of the blue came adrenaline surges. I did not understand what was happening to me. My stomach shut down and I couldn't sleep from all the surges. When I reflect I think I was in a very sensitive state from being on an antibiotic and aspirin and nsaids for 10 weeks. I have always had a difficult time with meds. I went to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft to increase my serotonin. I was reluctant but trusted the doctor. After 13 days I was lying on my couch a human zombie. I didn't want to die but if I did I was ok with it. I had so many side effects. My doctor wanted me to push through but I said no. I did not know anything about tapering so in 5 more days I was in WD. Though I didn't know it. I had some ok days then the adrenaline surges and insomnia and intrusive thoughts hit me. I ended up in a facility because I was scared and thought I needed a new med. They put me on effexor. Then I descended into the darkest pit. After 19 days I got out and my new doctor had me do a quick 8 day taper. During the taper/ CT I found myself in the worst mental state of my life. I was scared of everything but knew I would not go on another med. I found SA and the success stories have been a life line. I knew nothing about this only that a friend had been through something similar and made it through. I cannot believe what my body and mind have endured the last 4 months. I came here because I need some peer support. My husband has been a rock telling me I will heal everytime the depression crashes over me and I have a hard time believing this is my life. Which is almost every day. I have had a few days where who I am is stronger than the symptoms and I can feel a little hope. Usually in the evenings there is a break. Only had a few minutes/ hours where I felt almost myself. I'm looking for positive support where we can commiserate but ultimately there is a building up of each other. I am trying to accept this healing and would like to make a friend or two that gets it. I still have some very debilitating days. My belief in God and my husband have held me when I wanted to let go. I will add a signature but I need to go through my journals which triggers. Wishing and wanting for everyone peace and love and healing!

Hello, I was prescribed olanzapine 10mg three years ago for postnatal psychosis. I have experienced side effects from this so they kept me on it sometimes upping my dose. I was also put on sertraline two years ago. I am now on 10.7mg of Olanzapine and 100mg of sertraline.I plan to lower my olanzapine 5% every two weeks until I get to a lower dose of 2.5mg then I will lower my sertraline before coming fully off the olanzapine. I have not yet discussed this with my doctor I will ask him to prescribe me a lower dose every three months when I see him as he does not agree with me coming off of it completely.