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Hi I’m sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place. I can’t really work out how this forum works on my phone. I’ve been on and off (mostly on) SSRIs for 30 years. Each time I come off I end up going back on after a few months - a year ish. This time I’ve been off just over a year, and now I’m back at the same place - depression, constant anxiety, feeling like I’m about to die or faint or explode or go completely insane. Totally think I have dementia - like my brain doesn’t work properly. I can’t think properly how to say things, I feel confused, detached, like I’m not me, constantly terrified. Half of me feels like I should persevere - maybe a point will come where I start to improve. But the other half of me thinks I should just go back on them, because I’m just getting steadily worse. Can hardly leave the house again now, too anxious to see people. It’s just horrendous. I’ve tried a few supplements but nothing helps even a bit. I don’t understand windows and waves because I feel this bad all the time. I didn’t even feel that much better on them but I could at least function a bit, and the anxiety wasn’t so crippling. Can anyone please advise? I really don’t know what to do at all. I’m so upset and desperate. Do I keep going or do I go back on them? Each time I’ve come off I’ve tapered slowly but i always end up back here again. Please can anyone help? 😢😢😢

Hi, I’m new to this site, after watching the BBC panorama program about anti depressant withdrawal, I’m currently on my 3rd attempt at stopping sertraline, and come here for guidance. I’m currently 4weeks in, and my Main issue is dizziness, and anxiety.

Hi everyone. I'm a 30 year old warehouse worker. I have a degree in broadcasting which I was never able to find work in. The warehouse work does get me exercise though which is kind of a natural antidepressant. Anyway, I've been off Zoloft for a little over a year. From time to time, I still feel really dizzy, have a headache and other symptoms I'm sure I'm missing. How long is protracted withdrawal syndrome? I'd like to know, but good to meet everyone.

Hi. I am on this site looking for tips for staying steady while gradually tapering off Zoloft. I'm so grateful for all the info here. I have been on it for 16 years, and although it improved my life a million per cent, I want to see how things are without it. I am in my mid-50s and my life is more stable and healthy than it has ever been. Maybe I can live without the SSRIs. If I can't, it's OK, I will stay on them. But I want to try to go off.

It has been years since I took medications, I was 16 when I took them in 2009, and went through a few different brands. I have copied some of my introduction story to make things easier for me. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5232-%E2%98%BC-hello-charliebrown-script-free/#entry67166 Starting with Fluoxetine 10mg for 1 month. Then Venlafaxine for 1 month at 75mg then, 3 months at 150mg. 1 month of Clonazepam 0.5mg as I was tapered off Venlafaxine and onto Sertraline 50mg. Then I took Sertraline 100mg for 4 months. Still experiencing panic attacks, agoraphobia and paranoia. I went to the hospital during a panic attack and was given Lorazepam 1mg for 1 week. This is when my psychiatrist added Risperidone on top of the Sertraline. Risperidone started at 0.25mg for 3 days, then 0.5mg for one week, raised to 1.0mg for one week. After two weeks I had a check-up I told the Dr. I wasn't feeling anything and I believe he may have misinterpreted that as "no effects" but when I said it I meant that I felt no emotions. My dose was raised to 1.5mg daily. After 3 days of 1.5mg I began experiencing Akathisia with no relief of anxiety. With no options in perceived sight I took all of the remaining Risperidone. Approx forty 0.5mg pills. My Parents caught me and called 911. At the hospital I was given charcoal and passed out, waking hours later. After being discharged I continued to take Sertraline as prescribed for 2 months. With no reduction in my anxiety and my emotions being basically non existant I decided to "take the good with the bad" and feel some kind of emotion. Over the next month and a half I slowly weaned myself off Sertraline. Popping open the capsule and throwing away 3-5 tiny XR beads a day. So that's my age, meds and taper strategy. How long it took to regain all my emotions and bodily functions is a hard one to answer. It took about 6 months before I felt much of anything. Then the bad emotions came back, sadness, anger. Slowly over the next two years I had many days that were blank and void of anything, days full of sadness, but also days where a light would shine and I would be happy. Feelings were coming back in waves and leaving again. I joined this website in late 2013 and at that point I had some emotional range, a libido but no sexual pleasure. So i guess it took about 3 years off medications to regain a good emotional range and my youthful lust. I'm finally writing this success story because in the past year the lack of sexual pleasure and anhedonia are not a problem for me anymore. The feelings slowly came back in waves, sometimes weak, but getting stronger and stronger. Now I feel great when I hug someone or see a friend smile. Sometimes the feelings can even be overwhelming. Like my heart is ready to burst. I don't know what else to add except, it's been almost 7 years since I took medications and I am a whole new person! Don't give up hope! Things are constantly changing, even if you don't notice. I didn't notice the change until it was right in my face!

So may of 2022 I started my SSRI journey I had bad anxiety and my doctor recommended I take Zoloft. I listened and started with a low dose I completely forget what dose I took but I know I had a terrible reaction to it I lasted like 2 months and then got switched to lexapro. Once I was in lexapro I went from 2.5mg to 10mg wayyyy to fast my psychiatrist was terrible and I got so so many side effects from 10mg so she had me taper off within a month from 10mg-0mg and I had every side effect in the book, you name it I had it. (Brain Zaps were the worst). She then switched me to buspar 5mg 3 times a day and man I could only last 9 days on it. It gave such bad intrusive thoughts it was scary. So I decided to get back on lexapro in January of 2023 and go super slow like start with 2.5 mg and I knew I was sensitive because 2.5 gave me side effects so I started slowly upping my dose and the intrusive thoughts got worse, blurry vision, urge to cry daily, dizzy, and after about 5 months in it I became numb. Nothing would give me anxiety but also nothing would give me excitement. So I started tapering very very slow I went from 5mg to 2.5mg to 1.25mg and then 1.25mg every other day and it was definitely a better taper from last time because I got no brain zaps so far. So currently I’m almost 4 weeks in off of lexapro and man this is hard. I’ve technically been on meds for 1 year just not consistently so I do understand that it will take awhile to heal but man these side effects are weird. I don’t feel happy but I don’t feel sad it is such a weird feeling. I have days where I feel amazing like back to normal and then the next day sucks. Just feels like my motivation is low right now and excitement, I thought that would come back after almost 4 weeks off the pill. Another big thing is the insomnia it is so hard to stay asleep at night. It’s like I have an urge to cry but can’t. just wanted to know if these side effects are common with someone who’s been on ssris for a year

Dear withdrawees ... I hope i find you all well... Or at least amidst a window rather than a wave . I've been scouring SA for some time now, picking up whatever bits of helpful and positive information i can about this horrific ordeal. I now feel its time to introduce myself and my history on AD's to the community with the hope of being provided with additional support and a view helping others in the future when this experience is more of a bad memory rather than a living hell . I have been taking Sertraline on and off for the last 6 years since 2013 after a series of horrific circumstances happened one after another. Despite the drugs having good effect, I've always been uncomfortable with masking what are obviously important emotions using a daily consumption of a drug. This has led me to unwittingly withdraw multiple times across the 6 year period which lead me to believe i was confined to a life of drug taking, this was until June this year when I first found SA and became aware of SSRI withdrawal . Of course I was left somewhat shocked but not surprised after feeling neglected previously on multiple occasions by the medical sector. Despite that though i found a new sense of hope knowing that a life beyond drugs was not only possible, but likely. Recent Drug History OCT 2016 - I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement had turned my life upside down .. as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. MAY 2017- After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit) I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief. FEB 2019 - Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT. JUN 2019 - I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way. NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING MY SYMPTOMS: A thick brain fog Anxiety an inability to feel emotions / make connections with people Loss of communication skills & wit muscle weakness Fatigue As I've said previously.... i am currently at the 9 month mark and I'm coping okay (I Think🤔 ) when i compare my battles to that of others.. but i am beginning to really struggle with the isolation that seems to be a natural part of the process. I have always naturally been an extroverted person who loves talking to people and being at the centre of attention although currently this couldn't be further from the truth and is taking a huge toll on my daily life. Every time I am confronted with some form of social situation my brain draws a blank. Its as if the lights are on but nobody's home. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARM AND CHARISMA? I wanted to ask for advice from anyone whose been in a similar situation: What can i do right here and now to aid myself when dealing with these symptoms? If you've surpassed the 9 month point of withdrawal with these symptoms still rearing their ugly head, at what stage did you notice a marked improvement? Has anyone any advice on how to work towards improving other areas of my life, such as love or working life and learning new skills whilst withdrawing? If you've made it this far thanks for reading and i look forward to any replies? Cheers

Hi, everyone. I just found this forum last night via links on Mad In The UK and Let's Talk Withdrawal. I've recently begun tapering sertraline after 10 years of use, and I hope that it will be mutually helpful for myself and others if I share my experiences here. I'll try to summarize my personal mental health history with whatever information I think might be relevant. I've had depression, anxiety, and OCD-like symptoms beginning in childhood, possibly exacerbated by personal/family trauma. I saw my first therapist at age 7-8 when my parents divorced, and have been in and out of therapy for other reasons since about 14. Depression became severe around age 15, along with some disordered eating behaviors (I wasn't formally diagnosed with an ED until my 20s, but from the age of 16 onward was treated as though I had one--actually, I found my way here because this article resonated with some of my experiences in treatment and being pathologized). Many of the therapists I saw in my teens and twenties advised me to begin medication and would bring it up repeatedly against my wishes at the time. After my second year in college, my mental health became significantly worse and I had trust issues with my therapist at the time, who continued to insist that I needed medication and/or some form of institutional treatment. In 2008 I avoided being hospitalized for an eating disorder by cutting off contact with that therapist, but my GP diagnosed anorexia nervosa and prescribed sertraline because it was supposed to help with compulsive behaviors such as disordered eating and OCD. At the time, I did not get the prescription filled. After I left college in 2009, my depression fluctuated but I had more severe anxiety than in the past. By 2012 I was having anxiety attacks almost every day that were interfering with my work and daily life. Doctor again prescribed sertraline, and I started taking it as a "last resort" because I felt suicidal and that I had nothing left to lose by trying it. I started at 50 mg and experienced some relief from the physical symptoms of anxiety, but I still worried constantly and had varying levels of depression. It also did absolutely nothing for OCD. :') After a few years on the sertraline, I felt that it wasn't working or wasn't necessary, and I also suspected that I might have some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence that was being covered up by the depression/anxiety/ED diagnoses. Around 2017 I began seeing a therapist at a practice that also required meeting with a psychiatrist every few months as a condition of continuing treatment. Said psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD and possible autism spectrum traits but did not prescribe anything for the ADHD; instead, he recommended increasing my dosage of sertraline from 50 to 75 and then to 100 mg a few months later. He also prescribed hydroxyzine PRN for anxiety attacks. Once again, any benefit of increasing the sertraline dosage was temporary or negligible/nonexistent. (The hydroxyzine seems to work by virtue of being a sedative, if nothing else.) Starting around 2018-2019, I began having more acute depressive episodes that seemed to worsen with hormonal fluctuations; it was as though my SSRI "stopped working" for a few days/weeks every month and I experienced symptoms that were easily as bad as the withdrawal symptoms I got from skipping or missing a dose. For a while (2019-2020) I also had what I thought were moderate hypomanic episodes lasting a few weeks at a time, although this might have been how I interpreted having a more normative level of executive functioning/mood regulation as opposed to feeling fatigued and depressed as a baseline. ADHD and OCD-like symptoms also got progressively worse. In 2020 I asked my GP about ADHD treatment, and was prescribed Adderall (10 mg, increased to 15 mg later on). This was also around the time I decided to start tapering the sertraline. I went from 100 to 75 mg in 2021 without noticing much of a difference, but had severe depression/withdrawal effects at 50 mg and so remained at 75 for about a year. The hormonal exacerbation also got significantly worse--suicidal ideation, self harming behavior, increased anxiety, and paranoid/irrational/obsessive thoughts--to the point that I thought I might be having psychotic episodes. (I have a late maternal uncle who developed schizophrenia after recreational hallucinogen use, so there is some family history of being at risk.) In late August or early September of this year, I decided to resume tapering after missing a dose between refills; since I was already having withdrawal symptoms, I started taking 50 mg after my refill and just left it at that. My current therapist referred me to another psychiatric practice to discuss medication management. During the appointment last week, they recommended tapering the sertraline from 50 to 25 for two weeks, and then to 12.5 before stopping entirely. However, they also prescribed a different SSRI (Luvox), which I do not want to take at all, as well as switching my ADHD medication from Adderall to Vyvanse. I'm not too concerned with the ADHD drugs right now; I think it might be easier to evaluate whether or not they're worth continuing after I get off the sertraline, but I don't know how to explain to my therapist and/or other health care providers that I don't want to start a different SSRI, without being seen as non-compliant. tl;dr, as of this week I've gone from 50 to 25 mg on sertraline and I'm feeling pretty depressed/paranoid/anxious, but I think it's manageable if there's a possibility of it getting better after this. Sorry if any of the above is rambling or otherwise unclear. I'm still lurking on the rest of the forum while posting this, so please let me know if I've made any mistakes or left anything out. Thank you.

Hi, I would like to introduce myself as I’m new to the forum. I’m really glad I found this website – some really good information regarding withdrawal and can definitely see some of the characteristic signs of withdrawal in what I’ve experienced since reducing some of my psychiatric medication. So to give you a bit of background about what drove me to investigate adverse effects to psychiatric medication – both being on it and trying to get off it! (Sorry it’s a bit long!). It all started with a psychotic episode that I endured for 3 months before finally getting help. I know that I needed some treatment – I wasn’t getting better on my own and I was struggling to live my life not to mention being scared out of my wits most of the time. I have no problem with the fact that I needed psychiatric medicine to intervene at this time. I was put on mirtazapine as the doctors put my symptoms down to depression. I started sleeping again which I hadn’t been doing for more than 2 – 3 hours a night for over 3 months. Very quickly the worst of the psychotic symptoms – the paranoia, fear of being in the house and the worst of the voices went away and I started living my life again. However, I still had some residual voices which I wanted to get rid of. I saw a psychiatrist and he prescribed aripiprazole and this is where everything started to go downhill. I wish I had just lived with the voices as they weren’t very bad (certainly nothing like when I was first ill.) and I felt good on the mirtazapine. The aripiprazole made me extremely depressed and gave me bad anxiety. The psych tried upping my dose of mirtazapine to 45mg to combat this. This left me extremely agitated and unable to sleep at all for days so I reduced it back down. I decided to taper off the aripiprazole. For a whole month after reducing the aripiprazole I had the worst suicidal depression I have ever had, which took me back to the psychiatrist. He changed my medication completely – taking me off the mirtazapine which had worked initially and putting me on sertraline and olanzapine. This, also has been a disaster. I wish I had just ridden out the depression after the aripiprazole which I expect was withdrawal symptoms. I think the sertraline gave me anxiety, although I would have a few good days here and there, so just thought the dose needed increasing. Ended up on 200mg sertraline and 7.5mg olanzapine for good measure. I was so anxious I was having trouble just talking to people about very mundane things, as well as days of bad depression, punctuated by a few good days here and there. I also still had some voices so the anti-psychotic wasn’t that helpful anyway. Eventually the inability to live my life properly made me suicidal and I told the psychiatrist that we needed to do something. I wanted to go back onto mirtazapine and get off the sertraline. He wouldn’t take me off the sertraline but did agree to add mirtazapine back into the mix so I was on 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine and 7.5mg olanzapine. I definitely improved with the addition of the mirtazapine but still felt the sertraline was doing more harm than good so set about reducing it once I had stabilised after the addition of the mirtazapine. I reduced from 200 down to 50mg over the course of 6 weeks – back in January 2019. Way too fast. Have been experiencing waves of severe depression and crying spells (although these are getting less intense) and windows where I have felt better. Generally apart from the nasty waves I feel much better than I did when on 200mg sertraline. Have also decreased the olanzapine to 5mg which resulted in 6 weeks of extreme fatigue and severe depression again. Ironically, since the addition of the mirtazapine and in combination with the olanzapine the voices have nearly gone. My aim is to get off the sertraline completely and also get off the olanzapine, which makes me very tired and lacking in motivation. I am holding for the moment as we are due to go on holiday in 5 weeks time and I don’t want to have any nasty withdrawal symptoms to deal with. I would like to do the remainder of the reductions with your support as doing it with people who understand what you are going through will, I reckon, make it a whole lot easier. I look forward to interacting with you all.

It's hard to know where to begin! I'm a 36-year-old mother of two living in Western New York. I work as an office manager at our family business a couple of days a week, and the rest of the time I'm home with my boys, ages 5 and 7. I've been on antidepressants for 18 years now. They were first prescribed to me in 2005, when I was 18 years old and starting college for the first time. I was a homebody, very attached to my family, and had never spent a lot of time away from home before. I was also trying to acclimate to college academics, and I was having a hard time with feeling stressed and overwhelmed by my classes. It was recommended to me to try counseling, and the woman I saw suggested that I was dealing with depression and anxiety - the "chemical imbalance." She wrote a letter to my primary care physician at home, suggesting that he prescribe antidepressants for me. I ended up with a prescription for Paxil, and the rest is history. I can see now that I was most likely just dealing with a huge change in my life - I was away from home for the first time, I knew not a single person at my college, I was living with a stranger, and I was trying to do well academically in a situation I had never experienced before. It was a move from one life stage to another, and since I've always been sensitive, it was traumatic. I remember how miserable I felt, and how I desperately longed to feel better, and how I was willing to do anything to make it happen. But now I'm angry that the only option offered to me was a drug. I can look back now and see that each time I've changed medications or increased dosages, it has been during tough emotional times in my life - times of change or upheaval. So I wonder, did I ever REALLY NEED a psychiatric drug to cope, or did I just need to learn to cope with being human? So here we are today. I've been on 100mg of sertraline for over 5 years now. I've spoken with my primary care physician, and she supports my decision to taper. Her recommendation, however, is to immediately cut down to 50mg and go from there - which I know is a recipe for disaster. I explained to her that I want to go much slower, and got the impression that she thinks I'm being ridiculous, but she was willing to go with whatever process I want to follow. At my last appointment she gave me a prescription for 50mg tablets and sertraline liquid concentrate, which is 20mg/mL. (She actually told me that she's only prescribed liquid sertraline twice - once for me, and once for a pediatric patient... which is heartbreaking in and of itself.) As of yesterday I've started with my first lowered dose of 90mg - one 50mg tablet and 2mL of the liquid. The liquid is pretty terrible, but taking it in a small glass of Sprite makes it mostly bearable. I've also started supplementing with folate, Vitamin B12, and fish oil, which I saw recommended somewhere here on the forum. My incredible husband created a spreadsheet for me that calculates dosages, and accounts for the fact that I'm combining tablets with liquid. I worry about being able to be precise enough - I have no idea how on earth I'm going to be able to measure such tiny, tiny doses of the liquid! I'll attach the spreadsheet here if anyone wants to look at it and maybe give me some advice?? If you read all of that, thank you - I'm glad to be here. Medication Tapering.ods

Link to intro thread Hey all! Been meaning to write this for a little while now but just haven't had the time. But I knew I was always going to write a 'success story' as those were the ones that kept me going!! I HAVE BEEN OFF MEDS FOR 2 YEARS & 3 MONTHS!! I'm 31, female, I was on SSRI's for a total of 5 years, mostly Fluox, then sertraline, then citalopram before my doctor removed me from meds cold turkey, he said I would have no ill effects from stopping this way either!! So I'm going to list my main withdrawal symptoms, what helped me through withdrawal and any other bits of info like when i felt the worst waves etc! Symptoms: -Daily crying -anxiety -panic -depression -dizziness -skin itching -tremors -muscle weakness -visual issues -heartburn -gut issues -heart palpitations -insomnia -suicidal -weight loss -cramp in legs -full body stabbing/zaps -backache -headaches -TMJ -brain fog -unsteady on feet -lethargy -muscle weakness -hair loss -joint pain Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head, but there will definitely be more! I noticed my 'windows' were very sparse until I passed the 12 month mark and after that I'd eventually get more and more windows. Before the 12 month mark, my windows were only short and usually on evenings. I had the most severe withdrawal symptoms between months 6-11, which I've read lots of people suffer more at that stage too. I also in this withdrawal period took Cipro, and my symptoms worsened after taking that so I do believe I was 'floxed' too. The things that helped me get through a cold turkey withdrawal: (there aren't many!) -Reading the success stories on this website (constantly!) -Meditation daily -Baylissa's book -The Lovely Grind youtube videos -Drew Linsalata podcast (the anxious truth) -My partner! (most definitely the reason I'm still here and off those meds!) I have been blessed to have a supportive partner throughout this process who fully supported me and believed I would make it out of the other side. He is my absolute angel! Between my sheer grit and determination and his supportive words I have done it! The only issue I've had since stopping the SSRI's is that I'm now in early menopause. I'm only 31 so it is very unusual. The doctors can't work out why I'm in the early menopause, my ovaries 'look' fine so they think it's more to do with my brain producing the hormones and my pituitary gland. So I believe that the medication and my withdrawal has caused my hormones to completely deplete by altering something in my brain. I'm now on HRT and feeling much better since being on it. I was hoping I wouldn't have any long term effects from taking these meds but it seems I do sadly. For anyone reading this, IT CAN BE DONE! I'm now over 2 years CLEAN and I feel SO MUCH BETTER that I don't have to rely on those tablets and have the ongoing side effects from them! KEEP GOING!!! If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and i'll respond as soon as I can! 🙂 Love Jade x

Hi guys this is gonna be a ton I apologize but Im afraid I've ruined my life and am in desperate need of help both physically and mentally. ABOUT ME I am an 18 year old girl from the Bay Area in California and I have a lovely boyfriend and family who are trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression/DP/DR ever since I was ten, coming in episodes, with it not being extremely debilitating until Covid lockdown hit. As of now my current diagnosis are MDD and GAD (which was only recently diagnosed in the psych ward and am pretty sure it came on due to withdrawal symptoms). Starting meds I started Zoloft early April 2021 and I would say at the time it definitely helped me sink out of a depression. It definitely worked in all senses for a while but I think I felt so good on it that I thought increasing the dose would make me feel even better. Eventually I was on 200 mg by October 2021 (probably earlier) which was the stupidest decision I've ever made. I was in such a "fog" on this medication and didn't bother to do any research but its too late now. It eventually killed my motivation so I began going down at some point I wish I could remember when. But I do know the reason I decided to stop it all together was because I realized how "blunted" my emotions became and I wanted to feel more intense emotions for my boyfriend, and my mental health slowly started declining due to how horrible I was doing in school. All of these memories are foggy to me but I believe I started tapering some point in 2022 and at some point I thought I was okay enough to just stop in the middle of tapering before my trip to the UK in mid-November 2022. Downfall I thought I was okay for a few weeks after stopping but everything took a turn for the worst. I was sobbing everytime my boyfriend had to leave and would break down into tears at the smallest things. But then some days I would simply feel nothing at all and started to feel extremely disconnected from myself and reality(DP/DR). I thought these feelings would go away with time but **** the fan when I had an anxiety attack on Dec 20 and then another one on Dec 24. Never in my life had I experienced anything like those. After that I basically went two days without eating. I was bed-bound and horribly anxious, shaky, believed I was going to die, and terribly depressed. I couldn't concentrate on anything, had horrible suicidal thoughts and I thought I was going insane. I think I was given a weeks dose of Ativan around this time for sleep which helped but I reinstated Zoloft then (probably 25 mg) and found myself feeling better physically and was on for two weeks until I had another anxiety attack and racing suicidal thoughts and got taken to the ER to stabilize myself (given 1 mg Ativan). I was then put on Prozac 20 mg as it was thought that it would be any different than Zoloft. Not sure why I was given this high of a dose but the five days I were on that were hell (severe anxiety, dry heaving, insomnia, suicidal thoughts). I refused to eat and was so concerned about my reaction to this med and my weight loss and especially the suicidal thoughts that I was taken to the ER and stopped Prozac and felt relief then. I stayed in the ER for two days after while they waited to take me inpatient and thats when I was started on Mirtazipine. Things then started looking up for me, although I was horribly depressed and anxious still I started eating and sleeping and was eventually discharged from the hospital around a week later. I was put into an out patient program and felt some relief for about a week. I noticed my racing thoughts were still there and I started to experience intrusive thoughts/dissacociation/anxiety very bad again. I was told to increase my Mirtazipine dose to 30 mg. The next day I woke up suicidal and at this point I was losing it and decided I did not want to give Mirtazipine more of a chance. Since then I've been using Gabapentin (100-200 mg) as needed and CBD oil while weaning off Mirtazipine but noticed that although CBD and Gaba helped anxiety all they did was make me sleepy and feel so completely dysfunctional that I could not even worry anymore. And when those wore off I felt even more depressed than before. I've been trying to stop CBD and Gaba and yesterday and today I have taken none and am currently taking half a 15 mg Mirtazipine pill. Im not sure what to do because I feel so helpless and alone and that I've ruined my life. Of course Im very depressed and anxious but even worse I find it so difficult to hold a conversation with anyone as Im afraid im hypersensitive to everything now. I cant cry, im not eating, Im stuck in horrible negative thought loops, experiencing horrible brain fog, sometimes even forget what Im saying mid sentence and feel it takes to much energy to talk to anyone. Ive been living in fear and am afraid nothing will help me and I honestly feel heartbroken. I dont feel like myself whatsoever and have never felt this disconnected from myself and my emotions. Along with that im finding it so hard to fall asleep and when I wake up I feel horribly anxious (I think its the cortisol morning thing). Im not sure what to do??? My family is here for me and of course my lovely boyfriend but they dont seem to understand and my parents still arent sold on me being off psych drugs but I swear I'll never touch any of those again. But then again I dont know what the best idea is for me at all. I have never felt this confused or heartbroken in my life and Im so afraid I'll never go back to normal. I'm being sent to a residential program in two weeks so hopefully they help me get back to sleeping and eating and I feel like all they'll try and do is force me to take another antidepressant. I know you all can relate to me and know the trauma of experiencing a relapse of your mental health issues along with withdrawal symptoms to go along with that. I have so many questions right now and would love if anyone can give me advice on what to do from this point on as I am feeling stuck in an endless loop of pain I can't get out of. Here are the questions I have and I'd appreciate any advice. -Also not to mention I've been vaping Nicotine consistently for around a year and tried to stop when I stopped Zoloft only to start again due to how horrible this situation is and the stress from it. I know it doesnt help but quitting an addiction along with all these drugs that have been put into my body is difficult. 1. How would I go weaning off of Mirtazipine completely? I have only been taking it for a month and 15 mg for only two weeks so I'm not sure how that would work or if I even should consider going off as it might make things worse. 2. Am I experiencing a relapse in depression or do you think the depression is being caused by withdrawal Ive gone through the past two months? Or maybe both. 3. Should I focus on basic eating/drinking/sleeping for now and try weaning off Mirtazipine when thats more under control? 4. Would going on Zoloft for the third time make a difference? Any kind of advice would help and I am willing to answer any questions about the timeline of medications to the best of my ability and how many I have been on. I think you all are so brave for going through this journey and persisting through and through. Please please help me. -Julia

I've been tapering from 75 mg. zoloft since November, 2010. I was on 75 mg. for only about 6 weeks, I had increased from 50 which I had been taking for 13 years prior. I'd entered menopause, was irritable and anxious...no depression really, so my family doctor shoved some sample zoloft in my hand and said, try this, they are very mild, just like aspirin. Right! He said they were not addictive, very safe. I resisted at first, but then caved and tried it. The first year or two was just great. I was in love with zoloft. But after about two years, I tried to taper because I knew I shouldn't be on it long term and I was once again irritable and anxious. Doc advised fast taper over 4-6 weeks and I fell apart emotionally...crying, depresssed, raging, suicidal. He said my original symptoms returned and that I needed to go back on zoloft. These were not my original symptoms but he was the doc so I did what he advised. Also, my therapist at the time agreed with him. She said I'd have to take it for life. I really respected her because she did help me with a lot of childhood issues. But after a couple more years of no sexual feelings (I was newly married when I went on it), numbness, and overwhelming fatigue, I tried to go off again. I tried going slower on my own, but not slow enough because I ended up the same way as before. Just before I began my taper in Nov. 2010, my pdoc switched me to effexor for a month, did not work, then celexa, did not work, then up go 75 mg. zoloft from the 50 I'd been on for years. Then I began to read online and found information which illuminated the problem. So this attempt to taper is very slow. I'm at 7.5 mg. now. I've been tapering for 18 months at a rate of 10% or previous dose once every 3-6 weeks. But since I hit 10 mg. I've been tapering 5% previous dose. In my mind, I'm going at a snail's pace but still have days when I'm a total mess. Today I'm on day 10 at 7.5 mg. and am overwhelmed with anxious dread. Usually days 7-10 after a taper are the worst. I am losing my resolve. Just don't think I can make it like this for another year or more. More info: I'm retired....could not have worked while doing this. But I am functional. I go out, shop, make meals, travel, and do look forward to some things. Today that is not the case. Today my anxiety and feelings of dread are through the roof. Thankfully, I do have windows or I would have gone back to the doc begging for more drugs. Today, I can not remember any window that i ever had. It feels like i have always felt like this. Sometimes I wonder if my age, (I'm 65) is the reason why this taper is so hard. Maybe I'm too old to stop and will need to go back? Also wondering if the little sliver of zoloft that I am currently taking is really registering in my body. I'm wondering if I should just stop now? I know that 50 mg. zoloft is equal to 20 mg. paxil and some of the other ssri's. The 7.5 I'm on now is equal to 3 mg. of paxil or others like it. Do folks usually ditch at 3 mg. paxil? If I continue to taper the zoloft, I'll be on it for at least another year. And in the coming year, we are likely selling our house and moving to a new city. Ugh!!! I honestly don't think I go through with this type of major change feeling like I feel today. And am wondering if just stopping right now may help? Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.

I had labyrinthectomy surgery late Feb 2023 for Meniere’s disease, and had to relearn balance and also cope with total hearing loss in one ear as well as realizing I could not work anymore and having daily anxiety over my health. Then I had a panic attack 03/19/2023 and went to ER. At the follow up to my ER visit, my PCP prescribed me 50 mg Sertraline and said it would take 6-8 weeks to have an effect. At 6 weeks I started having brain zaps as well as daily diarrhea. I tolerated it for a couple more weeks but asked PCP if I could stop taking it due to these side effects. He directed me to taper off by taking 25 mg a day of Sertraline for 2 weeks then 12.5 mg (half a tablet) for another 2 weeks. Today was the first day of no Sertraline and not only did I have brain zaps while driving, but I had vertigo while sitting at my computer. My ENT removed all the vestibular organs (semi circular canals) from my Meniere's-affected ear in February and told me it was physically impossible for me to have vertigo again after that, so this is very upsetting to me. I mainly want to know if the vertigo (which only lasted about 2-3 seconds unlike a Meniere's vertigo attack which could last 5-10 hours or so), is a side effect of Sertraline withdrawal. Maybe he is tapering me off too fast? I only took it for about 8 weeks. Will the vertigo and brain zaps stop? Thank you.

Was on sertraline for 2 years before starting my taper, currently using the 10% method. Original dose was 59mg, on 24mg now, but I've stopped having "windows" entirely and currently only have "waves" of varying intensity. The physical side effects seem to still be slowly improving, however. Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?

Hi all. Thanks for accepting me on this forum. I was prescribed Sertraline 50mg 6 months ago. At the time I was suffering from an intense bout of SAD and anxiety that spiralled out of control. This was my first time on anti-depressants as I'd resisted in the past and managed to pull myself out using self-help techniques. Sertraline worked within the first two weeks and I remained stable on 50mg per day until recently with no side-effects. I contacted my GP recently as I hit the six month mark and wanted to come off. I only ever approached it as a temporary course of treatment to get me over the hurdle I was at. Just over a week ago I was advised to taper down to 25mg. For the first two days, nothing changed. On the third day, I began to feel a bit irritable, then tired and since then it's been a changing cascade of symptoms, ranging from bouts of low-level anxiety, terrible headaches, dizzyness, loss of appetite, slightly depressive feeling, occasional euphoria and just generally feeling in a fog and unwell, like a really bad hangover. I was told by the pharamacist and GP (and other people who I know that have been on a similar dose/time-frame) that a lower dose of 50mg for a short period (six months) shouldn't produce many withdrawals. I guess I'm here for reassurance and to find out if I'm doing the right thing. I'm terrified of my nervous system or brain being damaged. I can't seem to find many experiences online of people who have suffered these symptoms from simply tapering from 50mg to 25mg after six months, or how long the symptoms persist, and also to find out how I further taper to get off these tablets safely. Most of the experiences of withdrawal I've read are from people coming off completely at the end of a tapering process, rather than what can be experienced en route to that via lowering the dose. My GP advice was a month of 25mg, then stop. But if this is the reaction from a lower dose, I don't feel that's good advice. It's been just over a week now of lowering to 25mg and I'm still feeling unwell. I'm hoping there's someone who can relate and give me reassurance and pointers. Many thanks.

Hello all, I'm here because I'm trying to educate myself about tapering off of Zoloft. I was on Zoloft and Valium for about 15 years and over the past few years, I have completely tapered off the Valium. I have been off the Valium for 11 months now, and while my system has been stable since getting off, I have protracted fatigue and hypersensitivity. I've been making due while I recover, but have recently been learning that coming off of antidepressants can be just as challenging. I spend a good part of my day resting. I'll do small chores around the house. Every Wednesday, I get to babysit my 3 year old niece, which is the highlight of my week! But exerting too much energy or being in stimulating environments leaves me wiped out for a couple of days. I've built my life around these symptoms. Currently I'm studying as an artist from home, I love to read (especially classical literature), and I think I've watched every movie out there at least once. I'm operating on the principle that time will eventually heal me. As for the Zoloft, I am unsure whether I should begin tapering now, or wait until I have recovered from my benzo protracted symptoms. On the one hand, I'd like to get off all these meds and get on with my life; I don't want to recover from the benzo and then have to restrict my life again to come off the antidepressant. On the other hand, it might be more than my system can handle right now to be both recovering from benzo withdrawal and tapering off Zoloft. Any suggestions would be great. I'm glad to be here and I look forward to meeting new people and encouraging one another along our arduous journeys. Best.

Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25+ Years of Use One-year post taper “success story” – http://survivingantidepressants.org Elbee (male) - August 27, 2020 At the time of this success story post, I have passed the one-year mark (15+ months) living drug-free. I am speaking to you from “the other side” of hell to let you know I made it through the nightmare of psychiatric drug withdrawal -- and so can you. I want to start by saying that everyone’s withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is going to differ – no two paths are the same. While there will be commonalities in what we each experience, there will also be differences. I also believe that none of us are uniquely or irreparably “broken,” and that each of us can find a path to living much fuller, healthier lives in greater freedom. To be clear, I had doubts throughout this process . . . believing that somehow, I was MORE “broken,” and that I wouldn’t find my way out of the darkness. But the natural, innate healing power we each possess is profoundly AWESOME, and it quietly, patiently works in the background in each of our lives. . . even if we can’t see it, and even if we don’t trust it. For me, the psychiatric drug withdrawal / tapering process turned out to be an invitation to learn how to live my life differently. It became clear to me in this journey that I could never go back to some idealized place I vaguely imagined myself clinging to . . . I could only move forward to somewhere I had not yet been. I need to be honest: It is still hard to revisit and write about just how painful this drug withdrawal process was. Now that I’m feeling so much better, a part of me wants to forget the whole ordeal . . . as if looking in a rear-view mirror, driving ever-further away. And the reality is that this rear-view mirror perspective is very much real -- I’m SO grateful not to be suffocating in such intense pain anymore! But it is also true I will carry the scars of this experience with me for the rest of my life. It is clear to me now that some of me died through this drug withdrawal process. It is also true that the most precious parts of me came back to life. And I am still healing. I was very much disabled through the most intensive parts of the drug taper. I was on these psych drugs for panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire adult life, over 25 years. Additionally, I was drinking alcohol abusively, and relying on multiple pots of coffee and a pack of cigarettes to get me through each day. Even before I had decided to get off the meds, I was utterly exhausted most of the time, barely functional, and unconsciously stumbling through life like a zombie. I knew I had to fundamentally change how I was living. The first step in my detox efforts was to quit alcohol in April of 2014, 30 years after taking my first drink as a kid. Thankfully, I was able to release alcohol from my life relatively easily. Whatever boost alcohol had given me previously was gone, and it was clear to me as a 44 year old man that the devastating hangovers I experienced were getting more difficult. Then, over that following summer and under doctor supervision, I “tapered” entirely off both the Lorazepam and Zoloft that I had been taking for 24 years. I experienced tons of anxiety in the process, but I did it, and after the 4-month ordeal, I thought I was in the clear. Unfortunately, about six weeks after taking my last dose of Zoloft, what I now know to be protracted withdrawal hit, and my life spun into a depth of hell that words cannot describe. Instead of re-instating the same drugs I had been taking, the doctors took me on an 8-month “trial-and-error” roller coaster ride of psychiatric drug experimentation. I finally ended up on higher doses of the drugs I had originally quit, plus Remeron added in for good measure. Through all of this, I landed in a very bad place – exhausted, functionally disabled, unable to work, and unsure what to do next. I had some savings in the bank I could live on for a few years, so I decided to “hole up” to do a new taper, following the much slower tapering protocol of the SurvivingAntidepressants.org website. But my savings were limited, so I used the 10% reduction protocol as a baseline, and pushed the taper as fast as I could without killing myself in the process. I’m not sure I would suggest this approach to anyone else, but in my situation, that’s what I did. Note: I’m going to refrain from listing out all the symptomatic horrors I experienced (there were many) as I write this success story. Here is the link, if you’re interested, to my introductory thread which details my four-year psychiatric drug withdrawal process: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11862-%E2%98%BC-elbee-25-years-of-meds/ And I want to take a moment here to say how incredibly grateful I am to @Altostrata, @Shep @brassmonkey, @bubble, @apace41, @Gridley, @Rhiannon (her writings), @JanCarol, @KarenB, @ChessieCat, @Petunia, @scallywag and all the folks at SurvivingAntidepressants.org who helped save my life. I also came across Robert Whitaker’s book, Anatomy of an Epidemic around the same time I found this site, and from these resources, I knew I had stumbled into truth. It became clear to me that so much of what the mainstream medical establishment had told me about these drugs, and about my so-called “chemical imbalance,” was false -- I had been lied to. SurvivingAntidepressants.org helped me anchor into this truth and set me on a new course. THANK YOU! With these new resources, I came to understand that getting off the drugs wasn’t just a simple matter of refraining from ingesting chemicals, or even about waiting for those chemicals to dissipate out of my body. I learned that my brain had restructured itself around the presence of the drugs all these years and that by removing the drugs, my brain would have to, very slowly, restructure itself again to a healthy state. The metaphor of a plant (my brain) growing on a trellis (the drugs) for support is so profound to me. How can I expect to abruptly rip out the trellis and think that it won’t damage the plant in devastating ways? This metaphor was such a clear illustration to me of how a neuroplastic human brain builds tolerance, and how we can so easily become entangled in the physiological mechanisms of addiction. And to be very clear, our brains develop tolerance to psychiatric drugs just like they do street drugs, and the mechanics of addiction and withdrawal in each are the same. Gaining this knowledge and allowing it to sink in was probably one of the most important early milestones in my healing process. In preparing for writing this success story, I re-read my entire introductory thread. Several pivotal posts stood out to me as other milestones in my healing process, and while this testimonial might go long, I think it could be useful to touch on some of them . . . In my very first post, I am already talking about the value of meditation. Sitting with myself quietly and focusing on my breath helped me slow down my mind and learn to relax. As I continued with the practice, though, I began experiencing periods of discomfort. I had initially taken the psychiatric drugs to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, and as I practiced meditating space was again created for those feelings to arise. Learning to slowly sit with and tolerate whatever thoughts and feelings arose began to nullify my need to run away, and therefore, lesson my urge to drug the discomfort. Meditation became a cornerstone of my self-care practice, and self-care is what I ultimately found to replace the drugs. Next milestone -- about a year later, I wrote an entry about a decision I was struggling with on whether to consult with a renowned psychiatrist. A relative was able to get me an appointment for a psychiatric medication evaluation from a “leader in the field” (at the bargain price of $2,000). Looking back, it was then I decided I no longer believed in the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, nor the system that deals in them. I wrote: Next, in the summer of 2016, still early in my tapering and recovery process, I went on a 111-day, 9,000-mile solo road trip across the U.S. In retrospect, I was probably looking for something “out there” that was missing “in here.” I did a four-day vision fast in the wilderness, hiked a 14,000-foot mountain, roamed Death Valley, did a week-long silent meditation retreat, camped under redwoods, hiked numerous National Parks, etc. Was it really a good idea to take this pilgrimage in such a compromised state? I can’t say for sure, but it’s what I did, and I think it cracked through defenses that needed to open. In the Hoh Forest of Olympic National Park in Washington state, I experienced a release of emotions like I had never felt before. It was in that moment I finally realized that releasing stored emotional blockages could ease my anxiety: Another milestone: Upon returning home to Florida later that fall, I dove more deeply into my involvement with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) 12-Step program. In conjunction with doing EMDR with a skilled, compassionate trauma therapist, ACA helped me crack through layers of protective childhood denial that I had carried into adulthood. Some people advise NOT deliberately digging into the unconscious too much while going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, but my path has been that of heavy digging. I accepted living in a disabled state for a period of time and felt that if I was going to get off these drugs, I needed to address what drove me to take them in the first place. By early summer of 2017, my commitment to this recovery approach had strengthened. Along with addressing the trauma associated with childhood family dysfunction, I opened another door . . . into the shame and terror I experienced hiding as a closeted young gay boy and gay teen. I had initially come out 25 years earlier at age 20 (the same time I started taking the psych drugs), but that was only part of my truth I was hiding. The secrets of my sexual orientation were built upon the secrets of having grown up in family dysfunction: Homophobia turned out to be compounding trauma, and I had been living in a closet within a closet. I had more inner work to do. Perhaps one of my most significant milestones was realizing how important it was for me to take the lead in my healing, and how easily I had deferred to the “expertise of authorities” in my life. By June of 2017, I had navigated my way off the benzos completely, and I recognized the importance of building an internal sense of trust – connecting with my more authentic self to discover a new inner compass. Despite appearing outwardly confident most of my life, inner trust was something I lacked. By allowing myself to fully feel, I had opened to recognizing my own authentic needs, to directly and respectfully communicating my needs, and to setting healthy limits and boundaries. By learning these important skills that I had missed earlier in life, I discovered greater internal trust with myself, and greater discernment in trusting others. By January of 2018, I had another important insight: I more fully recognized I was going through an internal chemical withdrawal process in addition to detoxing from the drugs I was ingesting. Behavioral (or process) compulsions and addictions all have physiological and neurological correlates, and I had been heavily “dosing” throughout my life using my own “internal drug store.” This realization profoundly shifted my perspective on my psychiatric drug withdrawal process, seeing it in a more comprehensive context. A lot of my recovery has involved working with an “inner critic” that had been driving me most of my life, born and sustained from a lack of unconditional love. Ironically, this harshness was so pervasive that I had never consciously known it was there. My inner critic constantly pushed me into the extremes of all-nothing thinking. Again, meditative practices more than anything helped me identify this was going on, and ACA reparenting (inner child work) has allowed me to soften it. By the end of 2018, I started discovering something that had evaded me my whole life – moderation, and a general sense of “OK-ness.” By April 2019, I had found a new pace in life to accompany my new inner compass, and I was nearing the full completion of my psychiatric drug taper. I was one-year benzo-free at this point, and at times, I was overwhelmed with heights of new sensations and emotions. I was feeling things I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager because I had been drugged my entire adult life. It was overpowering in many ways, but I was so grateful to be “awakening” to a much more fully human life. On April 28, 2019, I was finally free from Zoloft, and my psychiatric drug taper was complete. I had found a way out of the darkness, and I had survived. I couldn’t remember having ever felt so alive. So, while this isn’t my entire recovery story, I’m fulfilling my promise to report back and share my continuing journey with others. Where do things stand today, 15 months after taking a psychiatric drug for the last time ever? No need to panic. I’m not experiencing depersonalization, derealization (DP/DR), or panic attacks in frightening ways. I do still feel what I might call different states of consciousness, but often there is a positive, expansive quality to these experiences. Perhaps some might call this bliss? I haven’t really found ways to talk about it yet clearly, but I don’t experience panic attacks in the ways I used to. I still have fears of them returning, but less so with time. I also get “eerie” feelings now and again, but I have found ways to work with that when it happens, and it doesn’t usually last long. Scariest weirdness has ceased. Most of the “unexplainable” adverse reactions I experienced don’t happen anymore. I would get terrible flu-like symptoms for days at a time . . . hot flashes and chills, body aches, cramps, twitches, headaches, fogginess and disorientation, exhaustion, etc. Sometimes my heart would start racing for no apparent reason, or I would have trouble breathing. I had chronic digestion issues. I had intense agoraphobia, even paranoia at times. I had problems making the simplest decisions. All of this, for the most part, has subsided. Consistent rest. My sleep has changed dramatically, and I’m so grateful. I have struggled with sleep my entire life . . . unable to fall asleep at night and feeling anxious and “hungover” with crippling anxiety each morning. For as long as I can remember, I wanted nothing more than to sleep “normally” from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and wake-up feeling well-rested. Today, more times than not, my sleep resembles very much what I used to wish for. I wrote an entry summarizing what I’ve done to address my sleep issues here. Keep gently working with triggers. I still have intense anxiety at times and find myself in hypervigilant states. I’ve come to understand this as a trauma response, and I can usually identify what has triggered me and/or how my inner critic has become activated. I’ve developed self-care routines that help to reduce these reactions, and that help me come out of this state much more quickly and easily. Some old wounds have healed permanently – some things that used to trigger me no longer do. AND I want to emphasize there are days now, thankfully, I live virtually anxiety-free. Self-care (reparenting) is my new drug. I had SO much resistance to doing self-care my whole life (for many reasons I won’t get into here). And by self-care, I don’t mean treating myself to a spa day (though that probably doesn’t hurt). I mean the day-in and day-out routines of physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually tending to myself like I’m the most precious being in the world. Self-care is what got me to where I am today, and it will be the practice of my lifetime. Don’t overdo it. As my life continues to get fuller, I can easily start “checking-out” again. If I stay dissociated for too long, I will pay for it. If I overcommit while on autopilot, I will have adverse reactions when I reconnect with myself. If I try to shortcut too much on the self-care, I will most definitely feel it, and I will struggle. Moving forward, I have to be very careful not to take on too much too quickly, and simply take next best steps. The worst is over. I’ve come to accept that I will never know how much of the excruciating symptoms I experienced these past years were due directly to the psychiatric drug withdrawal, versus how much was due to all the “inner work” I was doing. What I can say is that the symptoms from folks going through psychiatric drug withdrawal and folks doing inner transformative (trauma) work tend to be very much the same. It’s uncanny really, and I can’t explain it. But these two processes seem to very much mirror each other. What I can say is that while there will still be “windows and waves” as my brain keeps healing, and while I still have more “inner work” to do, I’m confident the heaviest lifting for me is done now. Perhaps most indicative of the healing I’ve experienced, I’m feeling well enough now that I’m back in school earning a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) – I’m going to become a therapist. While I’m a bit uneasy stepping towards healthcare systems that betrayed me so deeply, I also feel this is how I can be of most benefit. I’ve come to fully believe that my wounds are intrinsically linked to my gifts, and as I continue to heal my wounds, my gifts will become increasingly available. I’ve been doing volunteer work for some time now, which has helped me to “move back out into the world,” and I hope to transition into paid work soon. I’ve been meeting with people in support capacities, and I envision “coaching” people at some point until I more formally earn my credentials. I plan to be very open about my history with psychiatric drugs, as well as my recovery process. I journaled extensively all throughout my recovery process, and perhaps I will share the “long version” of my story in the future (yes, this is the short version). For now, writing this success story is an important next step in my “coming out.” Thank you for witnessing my healing. Elbee-Success-Story_Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25 years on them.pdf

Hello! A little about me. I was on citalopram 2012-2013 and weaned the ‘GP’ way eg just halved then quartered. It was fairly problem free, aside from brain zaps which went after a fortnight. I was then on Citalopram again 2014-2017 and weaned again fine, just brain zaps (each time for anxiety). Most recently, I’ve been on Sertraline from 2017. I was on 50mg and last September dropped to 25mg. This experience has been wholly different to citalopram. Since dropping to 25mg some 10 months ago, the brain zaps have never left. They make it feel as though my brain is back flipping or levitating, I get vertigo for hours after and it feels like most days are filled with buzzing, shocks and bizarre sensory disturbances (including a strange desire to constantly move my tongue, which sounds bizarre when written down!) Obviously, I react with more anxiety. I tried to drop again, alternating 25mg and 12.5mg in March, but it was a disaster. Sensory disturbances galore. I have a young toddler (2.5) and just can’t afford to be so unsteady and zappy around him. I feel stuck. The brain zaps seem permanent - despite being on this 25mg dose for nearly a year. I panic that the sertraline has permanently damaged my brain and I’m stuck in this hinterland forever. My GP doesn’t get it and I’m stuck with 50mg tablets. I’m aware there’s a wealth of info here to read through, but will need some time when I haven’t a toddler asking me to play with him! Any reassurance would be amazing.

Hi everyone. I'm 22, queer, and graduating college in a few months. I actually discovered this website fairly late (much to my chagrin). Wish I knew about this sooner. Anyway, I knew I wasn't mentally stable since before the pandemic. I had a feeling it was because of my childhood. I thought it was normal but when you compare your childhood with your friends it definitely wasn't normal. I thought being verbally and physically abused by your mother was normal. Until I started feeling the side effects of depression in college. I was irritatable, often felt sad for no reason, and I didn't have the motivation to do anything. I even had a hard time completing my assignments for class. Then the pandemic came, and it was even harder for me because I was stuck in the same house as my abuser (In asian households we dont move out). I started talking to my college guidance counselor and she really helped. But it wasn't enough, she directed me to a psychiatrist. And in 2020, thats when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (I mean, I already had a feeling I just didn't want to diagnose myself). My psychiatrist prescribed me sertraline (50 mg). It was gradually building up to it, so I took half a pill first for every other days then after a few months I took the whole pill. Been taking the whole pill for nearly 3 years. It was only until last year my psych started slowly tapering me off over the months. Taking a pill every other day and then half a pill eventually. I was doing so well, I never experienced any side effects from the tapering. March 28, 2023 came and my psych said I'm ready to stop my antidepressants. So I did, and I didnt feel any withdrawal symptoms until after a month. April 23 I started feeling dizzy on some days, it was never consistent. I asked my psych about it but she said it was "impossible" because its "been a month." I didnt believe her. I looked for communities that could help me and I found the r/antidepressant in reddit. They validated my symptoms and pointed out it was delayed withdrawals or a discontinuation syndrome. Over the months until now I started noticing my withdrawal symptoms. It was a russian roulette of feeling dizzy, lethargic, not wanting to socialize, not wanting to eat, not wanting to do anything, wanting to cry for no reason, heart palpitations, or feeling sad for no reason. These symptoms are never consistent it lasts for a few hours then I'm fine again. I just wish it would go away soon, I want to feel normal again.

I have been on Sertraline for far too long and it made no difference whether or not I took it regularly. I was prescribed Venlafaxine and the side effects were horrible. I'd only taken it for a few days and have been advised to stop. Right now I'm just really confused and not sure which way is up.

Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.

About 2004 (don't remember exact year) - took Lexapro for maybe a month, didn't want to stay on it then, went off without much problems Feb 2013 - Started Citalopram for probable PMDD (never officially diagnosed) Summer 2017 - Tried to go off Citalopram, following Dr's quick taper, reinstated just a few weeks later. Summer 2018 - Was switched to Sertraline 100mg after birth of 2nd son (Dr never said exactly why, I think they thought Citalopram was pooping out, but I was postpartum at the time) - had a small issue for a week or so with the transition, but I was ok after that. 2021 - Found a healthy diet, healed my gut some, decided to try to go off Sertraline again. Dropped to 50mg in fall 2021minor issues, but did fine with that drop Feb 2022 - dropped to 25mg, did ok enough with the drop (hindsight - I should have held there much longer) - followed Dr's short taper again to try to go off the 25mg. Didn't do well, found a FB support group, per their recommendation, reinstated with 20mg of liquid Sertraline. I did ok with that after a few weeks. I still didn't realize how much I NEEDED to slowly taper and tapered much too fast over summer of 2022 Sept 2022 - took last dose (1mg) in late Sept Dec 2022 - Hit major withdrawal symptoms in early Dec, decided to try a reinstatement with a low dose of Sertraline - started with 1mg, moved up to 2mg the next week. Tried to go to 3mg, ended up with adverse reactions that day (increased anxiety, SI, couldn't sleep that night), went back down to 2mg the next day and have held steady there since. I now need help with knowing if I'm truly stabilizing and, from there, I have some supplements that I should NOT be on at the same time as Sert, but I'm stuck on them for the moment until I stabilize, I'd like help knowing how to go about weaning those (or what to talk to my practitioner about at least).

I was on Celexa for 7-8 years, unable to taper successfully until June 2022, when I completely got off after an 8 month taper from 40mg. I survived acute withdrawal, and at some point began taking unisom, Nyquil, and other OTC sleep aids. In November 2022, the sleep aids stopped working. It was so scary. Never in my life had I laid in bed until 4am, only to be able to sleep two hours and not fall back asleep. It was HELL for the next 6 months. I had insomnia, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, was afraid of everybody killing me when walking past on the street, and peoples' faces looked SCARY. I thought I was suffering from PTSD/anxiety. I had no idea it was withdrawal until after I was put back on Zoloft. Immediately, I felt my brain relax. My period came back. I wasn't afraid all the time. But I was still having issues sleeping after 3 weeks on 25mg. So I went up to 50mg for 2 weeks, then 75 for one week. Sexual side effects, binge eating, feeling foggy were too bad of side effects for me to handle, and I realized that I had been in protracted withdrawal from Celexa. I jumped down from the 75mg to 25mg since I hadn't been on long. I slept 7+ hours for 8 days in a row (smoked a few puffs of weed which didn't work until this week) after this jump, and felt AMAZING yesterday with side effects lessening and having slept more than I had in 6 months. But then last night I only slept 3 hours. I am so afraid. I don't know whether to go back up to 50mg and taper from there, or just let the 25mg stabilize and then do the 10%/month taper. My prescriber doesn't believe in any of this, so she is no help. Also, how long did your withdrawal insomnia last? How do I sleep??? Nothing helps

Hello Everyone, I'm so grateful for communities like this community. To know I'm not alone. There's so much I want to say though I also want to post an introduction today and my concentration is limited so I'll try to keep it brief. I apologize if it turns out to be a bit long. My first experience of psychotropics was in 1994 when I had moved to a new area, was laid off, and struggling. My PCP was a willing participant and prescribed various medications - Zoloft, Paxil, whatever was available at that time. Nothing seemed to do what I hoped it would do and I didn't go any further. I wish I could say that that was the end of the story. Several years later in 1997, I moved to a new area with a woman I had been seeing. Our relationship was not a healthy relationship and I was under a lot of stress at work, wasn't sleeping well, was having a bit of a nervous breakdown. I decided to make an appt with a psychiatri1st. By that time, I was convinced that medication was an answer to my dilemma. I believed the current narrative of emotional distress, depression and anxiety, neurotransmitters, and the need for medication to make up for what was missing. The first psychiatrist wanted to just put me on Klonopin, said it would do the trick. I knew a bit about benzos and thought this recommendation wasn't helpful. It didn't fit with my understanding of serotonin deficiency. I went to see a different psychiatrist who put me on Effexor, titrating up to 300 mg. He prescribed Xanax initially to help with sleep and anxiety during the day. I was willing to use benzos as a temporary measure. That made more sense to me. I look back with regret and anger that other options weren't offered for what really were normal existential challenges of work and relationship, something I wasn't equipped to handle at the time. Fast forward to the present. I've been on medication since. And I've had a lot of trouble finding a medication that doesn't have significant side effects. I've felt despair. I've been told numerous times that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. And yet changing medications is a nightmare. The side effects are a nightmare. I recently read a book called Pathological that prompted a deeper reflection and research on medication in general. That the medication may be my problem. I had already started titrating down on my current cocktail. I experience akathesia on Zoloft, the reason the Remeron was added. It's a bit of a shock that my psychiatrist seemed uninformed. He wasn't aware of akathesia as a potential longer term side effect beyond 1-2 weeks. If patients experience this, it passes, he said. He offered no explanation for why it was passing for me. I've wanted to titrate off the Zoloft for this reason though I haven't known what next. I've felt hopeless. This process is so tiring and disruptive. My psychiatrist is a good man though he doesn't have really good ideas about what to do. Just throw more things against the wall and see what happens as if this were a simple process. I started to believe that maybe I have Bipolar II and misinterpreted the akathesia as hypomania. I was on track to titrate down on my cocktail and look at mood stabilizers, something my psychiatrist was willing to try, when I came across the book Pathological. It changed my view in many ways. My dilemma now is best to proceed. I'm learning just how naive I am about psychotropics and titrating off them. In my efforts in the past, I've followed a more traditional titrating schedule and crashed and burned only to think I'd relapsed and needed that medication. I thought I was doing it more thoughtfully this time which in some ways I am compared to the past though I'm still moving fast. I seemed okay with Zoloft 25 mg and Remeron 15 mg. I went down to 12.5 mg Zoloft and the withdrawal side effects were too much to manage. I'm using liquid Zoloft and quickly went up to an intermediate dose of 17 mg which seemed to be okay. I thought at 17 mg I could go down a third at a time from 25 mg. Because the sedating effects of the Remeron were kicking in on lower Zoloft, I went down on my Remeron to 7.5 mg. It's been 2.5 weeks since that change. It's been hard. The biggest issue is that often I'm unable to think, concentrate. Brain dead. When it happens I'm dead in the water. I can't really do anything. I'm awake though my brain isn't functioning. I can think a bit though my brain quickly locks up, shuts down, goes dead and it's worse as the day progresses. It's a huge issue, making work harder, diminishing my quality of life. I like to read and my ability to read and enjoy it is absent. After reading an article by Adele Framer yesterday, I realized that my plan to not overreact, to name withdrawal for what it is, and just live through the awfulness may not be the best plan. That things may get worse and that there may be a better way. That I need to slow down. Expect that this is going to take much longer than I expected. In that spirit because I'm really struggling with withdrawal and it's having a big impact on my life, I thought that maybe I needed to go back up a bit on the Remeron since it seemed that things really got worse when I went down on it (though I could be experiencing some continued withdrawal from the Zoloft). I went from 7.5 to 11.25 mg Remeron last night. I woke this morning, feeling like I wanted to cry and cry and cry. Maybe this increase is too much. The article talked about kindling and sensitization and I wondered if this isn't why even small dose changes cause problems. My psychiatrist unfortunately is willing to be present as I titrate though his knowledge in this area is limited. My initial question is, Where to go from here with the Zoloft and Remeron to continue the titration? I know I have a lot to learn and am wanting/needing to learn. Also one burning question is, Is this issue with an inability to think, concentrate, and focus, this feeling that my brain shut downs so completely and I can't function, common and is there anything I can do to address this? If you've made it this far, thank you for listening and for any input you can offer. Best, st11