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Back in 2014 I was prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. Then anxiety and insomnia developed and by the following year I was taking buspar, lexapro and hydroxyzine also. My psychiatrists mismanaged the situation badly by continually adding medications, and increasing dosages. In early 2018, the anxiety and depression began worsening. So I ended up tapering off of lexapro and added pristiq between roughly march-April of 2018. I should add I was also abusing benzodiazepines off and on between 2015 & 2018 (not prescribed). I quit doing that in July 2018 because I became tired of the withdrawal symptoms and extra anxiety that came with it. My heart rate/bp became consistently very high following cessation of the benzos so my doctor thought it would be a good idea to prescribe me clonidine and metoprolol. Which rounds out the six drug cocktail I was on until early 2022. Between 2018-2022, the cocktail stopped helping and eventually made everything worse. I went to see a new primary care doctor early 2022 who said I was on too many things and to taper off some of them. I agreed. Knowing what I now know, I stupidly tapered off of Buspar, wellbutrin, hydroxyzine, clonidine and pristiq in that order in a matter of 4-5 months. At the time I figured it would be best to just get off of everything and start over fresh. I assumed the initial withdrawal would be awful, which it was, although I was still somehow able to function. I also assumed it would take my brain some time to readjust/recalibrate after years of taking these medications. But I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought I’d be largely out of the woods after the acute withdrawal but boy was I wrong. In October 2022, about 1 month following the acute withdrawal I was hit with the most severe anxiety I’ve ever felt. Like waves of electricity surging through my body and a feeling of essentially panic. I also developed severe fatigue, depression worsened, I began having aches and pains throughout my body & severe digestive issues. Also hypersensitivity to just about any medication or supplement. For example I tried reinstating lexapro and buspar but I had a severe paradoxical reaction to both. I had to withdraw from college and quit my job because I couldn’t function. After further research I concluded I was dealing with post acute withdrawal. Exercise & getting out in the sun seems to be the only thing that’s somewhat helpful and I was able to increase my activity over the following months to where I was walking 7+ miles per day often on the golf course between May & September 2023. The anxiety however has just worsened consistently since October 2022. My body has taken a beating too because of it. I’m so worn out. I am back to walking 4 or so miles per day outside but it’s getting difficult. It seems like I initially took a big step back (start of post acute withdrawal), then a couple steps forward, but things have only gotten worse & worse for the last several months. I don’t really know what to do at this point. I’ve spent a lot of money on doctors, brain scans, therapy ect but it’s all been useless for this condition. It feels as though I’m out of options and will just have to try to wait this out until my brain eventually heals.

I have been off Sertraline for over four months now, after having been on it for about 3 and half years. Previous 4 years or so I had been on other medications. Is diffcult to comprehend and explain in words all that is going on, but my whole psyche has been completely overturned in these years, and I do not know to what extent the various medications have caused me this. I suffer from the severest OCD,and anxiety, and now I think depression, and sheer terror at all my subsconscious thoughts which have completely taken over my whole mind. I have been imprisoned and castigated in my own mind. It is beyond explanation what is occuring on a millisecond basis. I seem to have entered some moral vortex, whereby I feel as if I am always doing wrong. Constantly confronted with "Heaven and Hell". Constantly feeling compelled to undo things, which for example I have written like here. Damned if I do or if I don't , this doesnt explain 1% of what is going on. It has brought into the fore the reason for everything and existence. I really have no idea what is going on, terrifies me the idea that no-one can have any idea of what is going on in my head. Yet on the other hand everybody is in my head, I don't know who is in my head and who isn't. Everything I say in my head is being judged. I will not go any further for now as I am terrified of writing, and also it may not be entirely pertinent to the subject. Unfortunately it only comforts me to a certain extent to know that others are experiencing their own hell, and I feel guilty in turn for the fact "that others suffering should comfort me', as I have entered some abstract Universe which seems to have its own laws. the ridiculous thing is that in the end what seems "right and wrong" seems to be determined by feeling and not some sort of formula, and I feel guilty in turn for thinking that, and also "convinced" on the one hand that it should be formulated and on the other "know" that it isn't. One of the main reasons for writing this post was the guilt and fear of punishment, or fear of damning others, especially close ones for benefitting from reading others stories and not contributing my own. To clarify alot of this stuf was going on when I was still on the Sertraline, and perhaps, in a different way when I was on other medication, difference now is that I am that so much more fragile.

Hello. My name is A and up until 2007, I was a happy well adjusted individual (loving, caring and with a huge amount of empathy for others) with a young family, who was very content with life. Due to an situation at work, I became anxious, and this anxiety did not subside. I visited my doctor, who immediately prescribed Citalopram (Citalex) - will hereafter refer to as C). My doctor did not suggest getting off these as soon as possible, instead recommending I stay on them in case I had a relapse (do they recommend cancer drugs to patients in remission). The possible consequences of this course of action were never explained to me. I have been on them pretty much ever since (and when they were working they worked fine), but I have had several attempts to get off them, with no success. I instead became depressed and was put back onto C. My most recent attempt was in mid-December 2016, and initially things appeared to be going OK, in that is I was functioning as would be expected, but without the medication. Unfortunately, my mood deteriorated. I was again signed off sick from work, and despite a further prescription of C (which I have discovered I can now not tolerate - instead it gave me severe headaches and made me confused) I am now totally anhedonic. The question I would like replies to address is whether this state is likely to be permanent, and if so, how do those in a similar sad situation cope with never feeling any pleasure whatsoever. I know I love my family, but there is no "warm fuzzy" feeling inside, just this deadness, whereas before there was love and empathy. What do other forum members feel has been the cause of their depression - life in general (with its ups and downs) or the fact that they have been on an antidepressant for a long time without which, ultimately, their body could not function, i.e. it was the drug itself that led to a depressive state?

Hey all, From original topic title: 8 months of hypomania, increasing irritability, two major manic episodes, then CT Wish I found this site before. Prescribed 50 mg in October 2018, reported immediate response, eventually asked to cut the dose to 25 mg when symptoms were arising more frequently. Doc said go up to 100 mg, thankfully I disagreed and we went down instead. Kept having increasing symptoms and eventually started taking 12.5 mg twice a day thinking I was a fast metabolizer. Then: suicidal ideation and one hell-ish manic episode (with a good 50 mini-episodes over a months time). Quit CT once I learned what was happening. BP2 diagnosis came, but now a month removed from sertraline, I don’t see it. I’m dealing with some crazy withdrawal symptoms... mostly headaches and irritability. I sometimes blink really hard, kind of like a brain zap. I’m on intermittent leave from work, and didn’t burn all the bridges I have, but came damn close. now I’m learning healing takes months/years. Why is this a drug prescribed so frequently? What a nightmare it has been.

I'm so happy to have found this group through a link on the UK MIND website. This is my story so far. After a few years of poor sleep leading to debilitating anxiety, at the beginning of 2000 my GP prescribed me Seroxat (Paxil) and Zopiclone 3.75mg (Lunesta). I was in such a state and so relieved to have been helped, that I took Zopiclone every night along with the Seroxat as instructed.. for six years. In the first year I gained 4 stone (56 pounds) in weight but otherwise felt well. In 2006 I went on holiday and forgot to take my Seroxat with me. Three days later it didn't occur to me that the reason I thought I was dying was my forgotten meds, but I then realised and obtained an emergency supply. This incident frightened me and as I felt well and was sleeping, I decided to stop taking Seroxat. My GP told me to 'do it gradually' over a two-week period. After starting to feel unwell having halved my dose (can't remember what I was on but it wasn't the highest or the lowest) I googled and discovered tapering. With the help of a wonderful online support group I used liquid Seroxat (the GP didn't know it was a thing) and having nevertheless been through appalling withdrawal over 18 months, I was free of it. Even having tapered by a droplet every two weeks, the withdrawal was intolerable. I lost 18 months of my life doing little else but lie on a sofa. In 2007 I presented myself, a weeping mess, at the GP's again and was offered Trimipramine, a sedating tricyclic AD (proprietary name then was Surmontil). Trimipramine was actually the answer to my prayers. It knocked me out for twelve hours at a stretch. I slept, but it dulled my mind and gave me heart arrhythmia which caused me to start a tapered withdrawal in 2017. It was going reasonably well until a GP I had never met rang me to say I had to stop taking the drug immediately as the price had sky-rocketed and the NHS could no longer prescribe it. My taper turned into a glorified cold turkey and I had every withdrawal symptom possible. My Zopiclone dose was doubled to 7.5mg and after 4 weeks I was back at the surgery, seeing a fourth different GP, who was adamant that what I needed was Mirtazapine (in spite of my protestations about its reputation for weight gain). I only took it for two weeks, I really wasn't invested in it and although I didn't really give it a fair chance, it was no help. I decided to see a psychiatrist in March 2018, who put me on Amitiyptilyne (Elavil), the thinking being that as a tricyclic had already helped me, this drug might get me out of crisis. I went from 25-75mg in a week. It didn't help my sleep or anxiety and gave me bladder issues, mainly false urinary urgency, which made my anxiety go through the roof and put a complete end to any hope of sleeping. I then did a quick cross-taper onto Escitalopram (Lexapro) going up from 2.5mg to 15mg in the three months to June 2018. Escitalopram was just wrong for me and my chronic insomnia. It was extremely stimulating, I was wired 24/7, I had tinnitus, ear and sinus pain, mania, twitching muscles, popping ears, panic, to name but a few. I did a quick cross-taper onto Venlafaxine (Effexor) 37.5mg, increasing after a week to 75mg. This drug was also stimulating. The bladder issues had gone after three months on Escitalopram, but Venlafaxine also gave me the jitters, the ENT symptoms and I couldn't sleep. I added Melatonin and CBD oil into the mix. The side-effects just worsened, I had stomach pain, digestive issues, acid reflux and my head was a sleep-deprived mess. I decided enough was enough and tapered off Venlafaxine, by myself, between September 2020 and 12 August 2022 when I took my last sliver of tablet. So I'm just approaching one year of being AD-free. I still take 7.5mg of Zopiclone nightly, but suffer from appalling insomnia and my quality of life is much-diminished from what it could be. I use CBD oil sometimes at night, melatonin, valerian. I practise slow breathing, I have had CBT and CBTi. I did a course on Vedic meditation which has helped somewhat, but I typically have 5/6 hours' sleep a night, I cry, I panic and I despair. I avoid socialising and going away from home: my sleeping is scant in my own bed, elsewhere it is an anxiety-ridden struggle. I wish that back in 2000, I had been offered CBT rather than pills, and that I could have been encouraged to use Zopiclone sparingly, occasionally. I'll never know if that could have been enough. Thank you so much if you've got to the end of this long initial post. I was planning to be brief.. I spent this morning dipping in and out of threads and have already found much to encourage and comfort.

Hello everyone. I have spent the past two decades on Effexor and the past year on Nardil. I have now completely stopped all medication and I am having overwhelming anxiety that subsides by the evening. Very consistent intrusive rumination on unreasonable fears that increases the anxiety to unfathomable levels. I started taking the medication very young, but I’ve never experienced anxiety like this. I had steady and debilitating withdrawal while coming off the Nardil, but not anxiety. Is this still withdrawal or is this just my underlying condition? I really do not want to go back on medication, but I can’t hold out indefinitely. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

Original topic made by mother - Marie1234: withdrawal support for my adult son This has now been merged with primary member Kyle1234 to keep the information in one place. Hi So glad to have found this site and hope someone can help us and provide the support and guidance we are desperately looking for. I am a mother of an adult son who I am supporting since coming off sertraline and am desperately looking for some help and guidance to pass on to him. He is not in a position to do this himself and will of course post when he can. He has been taking sertraline on and off for the past 7 years, dates of doses are to the best of our knowledge and his memory. The reason he was put on sertraline followed a panic attack, where he was given a prescription but not made aware of how these should be taken, the side effects and was not monitored. My son is scared he has done permanent damage, as he took doses erratically for a period of time and did not realise it was putting him through a withdrawal each time. This year he tapered down slowly from 100mg, over an 8-month period to 25mg every 3 days before finally stopping. During the following 4 weeks he started to feel obsessive intrusive thoughts. As he was due to go to Croatia in July, he contacted the doctor to reinstate hoping it would see him through so he could enjoy the holiday. They advised him to reinstate on 50mg not 25mg which he wanted to do. On his return from holiday, he wanted to get off the sertraline and the doctor advised him to just stop (no tapering advice was given). He stopped on the 2nd of August 2022 and actually felt like his old self for one day on 9 August. That evening, like a switch in his brain all his emotion left him. From this point on he has suffered badly from brain zaps, muscle spasms/tremors, paraesthesia, headaches (like ants crawling in his head), genital numbness and emotional blunting, vision affected/light sensitivity, fatigue and depersonalisation/derealization, vivid dreams, cognitive memory issues and unable to regulate his temperature, also insomnia. He has suffered throughout, and we are now 3 months down the line. He was given diazepam for his agitation for a week taking 2x 2mg per day which he then stopped on 16 September. On 20 September the NHS psychiatrist prescribed 5mg to be taken 3 times daily (15mg per day) to see if it would help the DPDR which they said had been caused by anxiety (even though my son was saying he felt no anxiety) and help him sleep. On that day he had begun to feel some improvements prior to taking the diazepam but they insisted. He took 15mg for first 11 days, then 12.5mg for 4 days, then reduced to 10mg for 2 days and then 7.5 mg for a week, then down to 5mg for 4 days, 3.75mg for 2/3 days and is now on 2.5mg per day. No real advice was given re tapering. During this time, whilst being on the diazepam his anxiety started and he started to suffer from depression (a big void, dark hole) especially when he reduced the doses. He is so desperate to get off the diazepam as he does not want more withdrawal symptoms. He feels his nervous system is so sensitive, the diazepam has made things worse, as each day he has felt everything ebbing away emotionally and now feels completely numb, apathetic and beating himself for taking the diazepam in the first place. He did mention this but all they say is it I his anxiety. His DPDR/Disassociation is also still there but has slightly lifted but he can't get out of it fully. He is desperate for someone to provide guidance around the tapering of diazepam and be drug free as the psychiatrist just says the diazepam won’t do harm, as it is just a relaxant and 4/5 weeks is a short time and the dose is low. No one seems to be listening to him, which I believe is a common theme around suffers of Protracted withdrawals from Antidepressants and I am reaching out for support through this challenging and very difficult time. He also is taking the following supplements: Magnesium, vitamin B Complex, Omega 3 fish oil and has just stopped 5ht which he is not sure about. We have seen a private psychiatrist, and 2 NHS psychiatrists, all of which tell him to take another antidepressant (even this varies to which one they offer). Because of the severity of his withdrawals, he is now under the NHS secondary care mental health team, however, everything he is going through are symptoms he has never experienced previously, apart from maybe some slight anxiety. Some of the physical symptoms have elevated but let him with paraesthesia, muscle twitches, complete emotional/genital numbness (can’t feel good or bad) and complete apathy. My son wishes to be med free and is concerned the diazepam has made him worse. Does anyone know how he should now taper off the diazepam safely and suggestions or have information how we get through the sertraline withdrawals. Thank you for any support and guidance you can provide. Marie

Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals

hey everyone, I came across this site last week after looking into Reddit for withdrawal/tapering information. Wanted to make an intro post to interact with you all about what I’m going through. So here’s a run down of my history with antidepressants. Zoloft 100mg in 2016 I believe. 2 month taper in February/March 2020. By mid September/October 2020, experiencing severe withdrawals (after moving across the country for a promotion in July 2020). Withdrawals including emotional rollercoaster, depression, anxiety, paranoia, extreme muscle rigidity. At this point, with having been off Zoloft for so long, I really didn’t think the symptoms could be from any withdrawal. I thought they were all from such a huge life change, being pretty isolated from the state of our society with masks, shutdowns, etc. So, Went to the doctor in October 2020, where I got back onto Zoloft at 50mg. We also took some blood work, finding my free testosterone to be at 92, so I went on TRT as well. From there, the muscle rigidity came and went, but mostly was present. There were times where I returned to Ohio for the holidays and my symptoms reduced, further instilling my belief that the symptoms were from isolation and being “homesick”. April 2021, I left the job that took me a cross the country. Then May 2021, I tapered off Zoloft at a more accelerated rate, being off within about a month. I was going into a complete career change, one that I thought would be the saving Grace to all the symptoms I had experienced at this point. Thinking my career had been a huge contributing stressor. In hindsight, as I’ve learned more about antidepressant withdrawals, I realized this logic was a little flawed. By July 2021, I was experiencing severe insomnia. I got back on Zoloft at 75mg. Also tried Xanax and Klonopin for the insomnia. Neither really worked, so we ended up on Temazepam. Gradually increased to 30mg, the highest dose. Was on 75mg Zoloft and 30mg Temazepam until May 2022. Mistakenly decided to cold turkey Zoloft, thinking I was experiencing serotonin syndrome. I began my Temazepam taper at the beginning of May 2022, reducing by about 10% every couple of weeks. I’ve been off Temazepam for 1 week as of today. And I’ve been back on 50mg of Zoloft since mid June 2022. The insomnia is not present, but sleep still disrupted throughout the night. Muscle rigidity is pretty fierce. Anxiety is present and depression. Some days worse than others. Brain fog, inability to focus (difficult to read), lack of joy, muscle stiffness all over, negative thinking/rumination, among other symptoms I may not be thinking of. As you’ve seen, I foolishly tapered too quickly in the last and tried cold turkeying. I’m just getting familiar with a lot of the terminology… and I’m wondering if I’ve possibly kindled my nervous system from going off/on Zoloft so many times. I’ve been holding at 50mg until the muscle rigidity symptoms dissipate. Last week, I left the job I was working at in NC and returned to my parents house in Ohio for a while so I could rest up while stopping Temazepam. I thought for a long time the muscle rigidity was coming from the Temazepam usage, lack of quality sleep and I would take it before bed so was thinking by mid or late the next day, I was experiencing withdrawals from Temazepam. At this point in my research, I’m starting to believe it’s more from the Zoloft. I’ve been bounced so much by doctors, that I was hoping to come here for a little insight. this is really hard for me because I was on top of the world when I first got off Zoloft in spring of 2020. I was getting a promotion to move across the country. Then got there, thought the side effects I was experiencing were a result of stress from the move, when now I’m thinking it was more from Zoloft, with it having been about 6 months since stopping it completely. And leaving that job in 2021, thinking it was a cause of much of what I was experiencing, before bouncing around from job to job, and taking huge financial setbacks has really taken a toll on my confidence and mental state. I know I’m not functioning at my full cognitive capacity that I’m used to from the past, and with it going on 2 years now, I’m so desperate for a change.

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Hi, I am is 41 years old. I was on Venlafaxine XR for my vestibular migraine in 2019 to 2021. My dosage was 37.5 mg one tablet every 3rd day which was suggested by my neurologist as i was getting hives from taking the medicine. For my hives I was taking half tablet of Allerga M (Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) twice a week. I took Venlafaxine XR for 1.5 years and Allerga M for 2 years and then CT it as all my vestibular migraine symptoms had gone away. When i CT from venlafaxine I did not get any withdrawal symptoms for 9 months. Then after 9 months in June 2022 my vestibular migraine symptoms (swaying, light and sound sensitivity, unstable feeling, surroundings looking dim and blurred vision) came back, I tried to re-introduce Venlafaxine XR again but on taking just one tablet after 9 months my occipital area started paining and i started getting internal trembling inside my body. I still tried taking it the very next day too but had the same issue so stopped taking it and went to the neurologist. The neurologist then tried paroxetine (1 tablet) which didn’t suit me and so he then tried the following medicines -prednisolone (steroid 1 tablet), betahistine (2 tablets), flunarizine (half tablet) and all the above made my condition even worse as she started getting leg jerks while sleeping which i wasn’t getting before with my vestibular migraine symptoms. Then the neurologist finally said lets try Venlafaxine XR again as that has helped me in the past in 2019 and inspite of hearing I was having trouble taking it told me to try it again. Then when I tried Venlafaxine XR again i started getting brain zaps and myoclonic jerks and my stomach and vagina started making loud noises. This had never happened before so i stopped Venlafaxine XR and went back to the neurologist. He then prescribed a Benzo - Alprazolam (1 tablet) which i didn’t feel well on as my heart started racing rapidly and i had chest pain as well so then i went back the next day and he gave me Sodium Valproate (anti epileptic medicine) and told me not to come back and see a psychiatrist. Then that night when i took the sodium valproate tablet a glass breaking sound while swallowing started in my ears and my brain and hip started thumping so i stopped the medicine on 17th August 2022 immediately. Then on 19th August 2022 as i had Covid symptoms especially cough and sore throat i took a cough syrup which was Dilo DX syrup (Chlorpheniramine maleate with Dextromethorphan hydrobromide) 5 ML, this is when my entire symptoms changed for the worse. My occipital area started shaking internally and my vestibular symptoms went away. As I was still having covid symptoms like cough and sore throat she took Lecope AD (Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet while the shaking in the occipital area still continued. I couldn’t understand what the internal shaking was for a week but as they were not stopping and as per the instructions of the neurologist I finally met with a psychiatrist. I was also exposed to green fungus around the same time in the house as it was rainy season here in Mumbai (India). The psychiatrist ordered an MRI of the brain which was clear. After that i met various psychiatrists and neurologists who said this was Functional or somatic symptoms of depression and they tried to stop the internal shaking or vibrations with the below class of medicines which made my condition even more worse as I was unable to tolerate any medications because my nerves used to pull and pain and my internal shaking/tremors used to increase on taking every medication. I used to then discontinue the medication after 2 to 3 tablets. Below is the class of medications tried on me since August 2022 till date:- (Small doses of each medication was tried and discontinued) YEAR – 2022 · Provanol 20 MG (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) - Half tablet - Beta blocker. · Nexito 5 mg (escitalopram)- Half tablet – SSRI Antidepressant · Provanol 10 MG – (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) Half tablet - 2 days - Beta blocker. · Rejunex CD 3 - Multivitamin · Folinext (Folic Acid and methylcobalamin) - 1 tablet - Vitamin · Homeopathy medicine – GAVE EXTERNAL TREMORS · Zapiz 0.25 mg (clonazepam) Half tablet – 3 days – Benzodiazepine. · Provanol 2.5 mg (Propranolol hydrochloride tablets IP) – 3 days - Beta blocker. · Tynept 12.5 mg (Tianeptine) – Half tablet for 2 days - Dibenzoxazepine Antidepressant · Mirtaz 7.5 mg (Mirtzpine) - Half tablet – Tetracyclic Antidepressant · Synaptol 50 mg (Tolperisone hydrochloride) - Half tablet - Muscle relaxer. · Gabapin 100 mg (Gabapentin tablet IP) - Half tablet - Antiepileptic · Homeopathy medicine · Ayurvedic medicine · Evion - LC - Half tablet (Vitamin) · Solopose - MD 0.25 mg (Etizolam) - Half tablet - Benzodiazepine. YEAR - 2023 · 10th Jan - Ascoril D plus ( Dextromethorphan hydrobromide + phenylephrine hydrochloride + Chlorpheniramine maleate) - 5ML - Took it for dry cough · 11th Jan - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - 1 tablet for 4 days – Took it for sore throat · 16th Jan - Nurewire Tablet - 1 tablet (Vitamin) · 23rd Jan - Cetzine (cetrizine) - 2.5 MG - Antihistamine · 25th Jan - Pacitane 2 MG – Half tablet (Trihexyphenidyl) - Anticholinergic medication · 27th Jan - Allegra 180 - Half tablet (Fexofenadine) - Antihistamine · 1st Feb to 3rd Feb - Atrest 12.5 mg -Half tablet (Tetrabenazine) – Vesicular Monoamine Transporter 2 inhibitor · 6th & 7th Feb - Benadryl syrup - 2 ML – Cough syrup · 8th & 9th Feb - Supradyn - 1 tablet - Multivitamin · 14th & 15th Feb - Practin syrup 2 ML (Cyproheptadine) - Antihistamines · 18th Feb - Allegra 180 - Half tablet · 21st & 22nd Feb - Mentat (Himalaya Ayurveda) · 28th Feb - Allegra M ( Montelukast 10mg + Fexofenadine 120mg) – Half tablet Leukotriene antagonist and antiallergic medicine · 2nd & 3rd March - Atarax 5 mg - Half tablet (Hydroxyzine) - Antihistaminic medication · 6th March - Pramipex 0.125 mg - Half tablet (Pramipexole ) - Dopamine agonists · 9th March - 1 CBD Gummy · 10th March - Levocet 2.5 MG (Levocetirizine) - Antihistamine · 11th March - Buspin 2.5 MG (Buspirone) - Anxiolytics · 14th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 16th March - Levocet - Half of 2.5 MG · 21st March - Bilagra 3 MG (Bilastine) - Antihistamine · HOSPITALISED on 23rd March to 30th March - Vantaxa 5 MG (Vortioxetine) – Half tablet for 1 day - serotonin modulator and stimulator Antidepressant then Prothaden 25 MG (Dosulepin) – Half tablet for 1 day + quarter tablet for 3 days. - Tricyclic antidepressant · 1st , 3rd , 5th & 7th April - Opiprol 50 MG (Opipramol) – quarter tablet - Tricyclic antidepressant · 8th April to 6th May - Lecope AD ( Levocetrizine , phenylephrine and ambroxol) - Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat · 10th May - 1 drop of Rudra Taila (CBD drops) · 15th to 22nd May - Metolar 25 MG - Half tablet (Metoprolol Tartrate tablets IP) - Beta-blockers. · 25th & 26th May - Homeopathy medicine (3 pills) · 13th to 15th June - Homeopathy medicines · 16th to 21st June – Neksium 40 mg ( Esomeprazole tablets I.P ) – 3 tablets – Proton pump inhibitor and Motilium M (Domperidone tablets I.P) – 3 tablets- Dopamine-2 receptor antagonist · 26th June - Homeopathy medicine · 14th July to 22nd July – Oflox 200 MG - Ofloxacin Tablets I.P – Antibiotic · 26th July – Gabawin 25 MG – Quarter Tablet (Pregabalin) – Antiepileptic · 30th July – Deslor 5 mg - Quarter tablet - Desloratadine- Antihistaminic medication · 8th August - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) – She takes half tablet of Allegra 180 every 3 days for her hives till date. · 30th August – 1 Meftal spas (Dicyclomine (10mg) & Mefenamic Acid (250mg) Anticholinergic and NSAID · 11th September - Homeopathy medicine + Half of Meftal 500 (Mefenamic Acid) · 3rd & 4th October – Half of Syndopa plus (Levodopa (100mg) + Carbidopa (25mg) - Antiparkinson agent · 6th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 7th October – 1 + ½ Lecope AD (Ambroxol (60mg) + Phenylephrine (5mg) + Levocetirizine (5mg) Mucolytic, Antihistamines and Nasal decongestants – Took it for Sore throat AND 2 tablets of Lanol ER (Paracetamol 650mg) - Analgesic (pain reliever) and anti-pyretic (fever reducer) · 23rd October – 1 tablet of NOW - Saccharomyces Boulardii probiotic – 5 billion CFU · 26th October – 1 tablet of Pan 40 (Pantoprazole Gastro resistant tablets IP ) - Proton pump inhibitor · 27th October - Half of Allegra 180 (Fexofenadine) · 28th October – 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P AND 1/4th tablet of Gastractiv 10mg (DOMPERIDONE) - dopamine antagonist · 29th October - 1 tablet of Nexpro 40 (Esomeprazole magnesium tablets I.P - Proton pump inhibitor (Took for 10 days). My current symptoms since 15 months are:- Internal tremors running from head to toe, involuntary movements, nerves pull and pain on taking any medication, pacing, electrical sensitivity to electronics, tingling in hands and feet, burning of skin, external tremors, pain in my occipital area and neck, pulsating at the base of the head which goes down to my entire body. The neurologists did various tests like MRI of cervical spine, F DOPA PET Scan – Brain, Various blood tests, Whole Genome Sequencing (Genetic testing) and all were clear.They then officially diagnosed me with Functional Neurological Disorder (conversion disorder). Currently I can barely walk and im homebound for 15 months now. I currently take only my thyroid medication which is Thyroxine 112 mcg every morning before breakfast – 1 tablet and half tablet of Allegra 180 MG (fexofenadine) – once a week for Hives. The diagnosis that I have received from most neurologist and psychiatrist is that I have Functional neurological disorder (conversion disorder) or Depression and my symptoms are somatic. But I feel this could Kindling or Akathisia or Serotonin syndrome or Mast cell activation or Mold or Long Covid or Withdrawal from the rapid trial and error of medicines but no doctor is ready to help me or give me clarity as to what is wrong with me and why no medication is working on my body? I have tried counselling, EMDR, CBT, DBT, Physiotherapy, ayurvedic, homeopathy and every allopathy medicine possible but my condition doesn’t improve and im really suffering with the physical symptoms especially internal shaking/tremors. I have no idea what has gone wrong and no doctors in India help and they all have put their hands up. Currently no medication/ supplements works on my body and only makes my condition worse. Can someone please tell me what exactly am i suffering from? And is there any cure? I feel helpless and lost as as I have tried everything in my reach and my condition is getting worse day by day. Please Help and Guide me. Thank you so much in advance.

Hello, I would like to ask you a question. If I started Trazodone in mid April decided to taper in May 14th, and then finally stopped on June 7th, but still have symptoms on August 14th; how long will I be this way. I will not take another SSRI or SNRI as long as I live. I m sacred and would rather suffer, so long as I can be free of this treadful syndrome sooner. But for how long? I m worried. I like to exercise a lot, eat healthy nearly every day of my life, I started taking this medication for Insomnia related to a change in (work hours) a shift that I work. I have went to work suffering from Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome and it was killing me. I developed Tinnitus in Early July, and I still have occasional palpitations. They are worsen with lack of sleep, after I eat, and stress. I never had this issue with before trazodone, in fact, I never had palpitations before, it hit me hard exactly at the peak of my "withdrawal on June 17th. Every symptom that is listed for withdrawal I have had, except sexual dysfunction. Only when I m in capacitated in bed, and can't think about sex does it effect sex drive, but the function has never affected.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. Back in September 2020 I was driven to the ER for what I now know was a panic attack (heart racing, blurry vision, dizziness, etc.). I saw a neurologist at the ER, whom I followed up with shortly after in October 2020. The neurologist took one look at me, told me I was anxious, and sent me out the door with a prescription for 10mg Lexapro (which is unfortunately far too common). I started taking this on 10/20/2021. The first week on this seemed to amplify all anxious symptoms, but then surprisingly made me feel great (calmer, more energized, optimistic, etc.). I didn't ask questions as I was fairly naive at the time and trusted the neurologist's decision. A few months in I started experiencing days of extreme fatigue, and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision. I managed to ignore these and attributed them to migraines. Fast forward to February 2021. The days of fatigue and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision are still happening, yet more frequently. I also noticed a general sense of feeling numb, as if things did not matter as much. I remember one day I forgot to take my dose (for the first time) and I made it until about noon at work. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, head pressure, racing heart and a few more that I can't remember. Once again, I was naive and still didn't consider Lexapro as the issue. The next day I took my normal dose and everything returned back to normal. It's now March 2021. For some reason I decided to start questioning the efficacy of the Lexapro as I was starting to have anxious symptoms yet again. I also had a profound realization that I had become dependent on this drug to function day-to-day in order to "manage" my anxiety, and would be for the rest of my life. This is when I began my research (engineer by trade, heavily science/statistically driven), and to say I was shocked is an understatement. SSRI's are prescribed based on a theory, there is no scientific evidence that has proved SSRI's do what they are intended to do. The primary driver is anecdotal evidence, which absolutely blew my mind (once again, engineering perspective). I'm sure these drugs are helpful to some people, but oh my is this interesting. Journalist Robert Whitaker summarizes the history/efficacy of psychiatric drugs brilliantly, check him out if you haven't already. I was aware of 'potential' withdrawal symptoms through brief internet research (unfortunately did not find SA until 3 months off), was willing to tough it out for a few weeks and I quit cold turkey on March 4th 2021. As many of you have unfortunately experienced, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen during the coming months. The acute withdrawal phase hit almost immediately, parking me in bed for a few days followed by another week of dragging myself around. Over the next few weeks I had the typical symptoms: brain zaps, extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches/head pressure, chest pain, muscle aches, panic attacks, and many many more. At the end of March I began to feel fairly normal and could function enough to return to daily activities. Fast forward to June 2021 and I got absolutely slammed with withdrawal symptoms. The mental/psychological symptoms were intense and frightening as the only psychological issues I have had in the past was anxiety. These consisted of: intrusive thoughts, DP/DR, OCD, insomnia, depression, extreme anxiety (way worse than pre-lexapro), anhedonia and some more I can't remember. Physical symptoms were: DIZZINESS (this was by far my worst physical symptom), tinnitus, extreme fatigue, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, chest pain, and just about every other symptoms you've read about. I have been to almost every doctor/specialist you could think of and according to modern medicine I was the 'healthiest person' they've seen. I had started to lose faith in modern medicine and begun to look for solutions myself..... Then I found SA and everything made sense. I have been reading many of the stories here (mostly success ) and I cannot thank the people here enough for the information/hope that is provided. Anyway, here I am 7+ months after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I have been in the windows/waves pattern for the past 4 months with noticeable improvements. I was actually debating on posting a success story last week because I had been feeling so great, but unfortunately a wave hit - although minor in comparison to the beginning. This has consisted of insomnia, intrusive thoughts, minor DP/DR, light sensitivity and generally feeling out of it. So that's about it. I will continue to update this post accordingly as time goes on, and eventually will post my success story. Cheers, - Seer

Original topic title: Imperialtin Dosage 10g From 2019 June until 2022 June only I am a 43-year-old woman who has been treated with amitriptyline from June 2019 to 2022 for migraines. After that my life turned upside down Digestive disorder, sporadic aches in the arms and legs also I quit my job, I can no longer stop because of the dizziness I feel in my head and feeling weak, sometimes I feel like I'm in another world, heaviness in the tongue Forgetting slurred speech I don't know what to do? I am in a difficult condition. I do not want to go back to treatment. I have gone through 4 months without it completely, but I miss myself, my life, and my relationship with my wife. It has become problems because he cannot believe that what I am ordering is withdrawal.

i am 2 years and 4 months mitrazpine off.I feel very bad i have still big anexity.Big pain in body in muscle.thingling in fingers in teeth.I sleep 4/5 hours .I feel very depressed and hronic tired.i have adhedonia too.I last time have windows before 6 months.Any advice what to do it ❤️?

My brain going into dream condition but not into sleep condition every night or day when ever I attempt to sleep I have believed the information about remote neural monitoring in all over internet and browsed internet 2 years heavily which resulted heavy thought process ,doubts and suspicion over near and dear. So I went to a psychiatrist and requested to bring me out of heavy thoughts.He made me use lorazepam for 10 days ,risperidone and trihexyphenidyl combination drug for 30 days.After 30 days my thoughts reduced so I did not go to doctor again.What a mistake ,I was ignorant of how psychiatry medicines work and slow tapering nor my doctor warned me while prescribing an anti psychotic.It is happened in july 2016. From then my brain going into dreams when ever I attempt to sleep.In october 2016 again I went to the same doctor and reported about the condition I am in.He prescribed olanzapine silently.I started using olanzapine ignorantly and innocently.When i was experiencing stomach upset that is when I researched in the internet about risperidone and olanzapine. Now this is june 2017 I have tapered risperidone and olanzapine safely and became drug free safely.But the thing is my brain still into dream condition and not allowing me to sleep when ever i attempt.My querry is what risperidone and trihexyphenidyl and lorazapam [10 days]did to my brain?what chemicals they blocked.Now stopping them cold turkey did what on my brain?what chemical i should take to get my sleep pattern back.?If I wait patiently with time will the brain correct its condition naturally?Any brain researcher please help.

This is a very long story, and it's only a part of it. I have been taking SSRI for 20 years, with several attempts in between to stop, the last ones destroyed my life and only now I realize that they were probably the reason. This is a long and ***** up story that been going on (the extreme phase) for more then a year, but the spiral began around 2020. I'm in severe wd issues for years now (which I only became aware they are wd issues recently, I've been having them I think ever since I tapered down to a smaller dose too fast on the previous AD, not knowing I'm in wd symptoms, I was dysfunctional, not working etc, then stopped it last year while being very unstable, and too fast.... and following other 2-3 extremely fast tapers in the past). This combined with life-long untreated trauma and attachment issues led to an unending spiral of hell and bad decisions, mostly starting 2020 and at its peak now when I recklessly (and in self-sabotage) found myself on Mirtazapine, a nasty powerful drug, while I haven't even started to recuperate from previous and ongoing severe wd issues and side effects. Since end of April I started taking Attivan and recklessly continued it until realizing I have to taper - around two months after - and also did it inaccurately without a scale, and with kindling... Now holding at a little less then 0.5 gram, taking at night (this all started due to sleep issues, sleep anxiety and obsession). I'm also on the waiting list for a psychiatric hospital but now even more doubtful about it since they will want either to give me higher doses of mirt or to replace with another drug, probably. But I'm completely dysfunctional, I had a but light at least from understanding now for the first time how I've been in wd for years, but then this was ***** by going into the mirt.... it was done without intention or thought. And after a whole year of resisting people's advise for me to go back to the previous med from which I never really managed to wd... So instead I made things more complicated. I wanted to write my case here already 6 months ago or even before but couldn't have enough concentration to do that, to manage all the details - my state was so severe already! Severe almost constant agitation, especially when trying to express myself. Even to go here and write. This could have saved me.... i really believe reinstating to the previous drug would have saved me, almost did that couple of times this year (stopped completely around January 2023 after a taper of 5 months following 20 years of being on it, and despite some windows life been hell from then on). I was afraid of having the side effects again, even though they were not even close to what I have endured these couple of years... and much less frightening and debilitating than mirt. In the meantime I continue taking the mirt since 25 days now, minus one night, and suffer worse every day due to its fatigue and breathing issues and the thought about how I will need to taper for years. Just add that I've been in what felt like complete nervous breakdown/burnout/dysautonomia for more than a year now, especially extreme around a year, before starting the mirt. (What I only now come to believe is a type of ) Inner akathisia, inability to stop talking and to listen, inability to control and resist urges - especially emotional ones such as getting approval for my mistakes, punishing myself by over-communicating my mistakes and misbehavior to others and how I feel awful about it - which led to my spouse leaving me, on top of the financial burden I became for years without realizing what it means to be one (she begged me to reinstate, especially when things really got extreme this last year, when I really began to not control my actions - either not being able to act or decide which completely incapacitated me, really, inability to decide on almost ANY action, really felt like a brain injury. Many traumatic and indescribable things when this collided with my parents (the cause of my trauma) and partner losing all compassion for me and any understanding (now when I realize it was all med related). An uncontrollable and out-of-the-ordinary feeling of guilt for every "mistake" I make which led to me endlessly talking about my "state" and trying to solve it in words instead of what REALLY helps me such as body work or even just relaxing and letting things go. Stopped meditating, don't dare to smoke weed which I used to to now and then - not deserving to feel bodily good and at ease until my guilt is "solved". Even writing this now is instead of breathing and meditating which used to be a main aspect of my daily life. The more this crisis evolves the more I'm not allowing myself and kind of fearful of letting go and relax. As if it's dangerous or not allowed, the more I got the habit in being stressed and "in crisis", "needing" someone else to solve it. All along the way I found stuff that REALLY help with some of this - youtube talks about CPTSD and toxic shame, vagus nerve activation, Dharma talks etc. - but I allowed it few and in between until another crisis or "huge mistake" or huge decision led to me NOT ALLOWING them to myself, or simply forgetting how they benefit me (this forgetting thing is really curious) until I do them "too late" and then immediately feel guilty ABOUT NOT DOING THEM, which leads me to stop pursuing them further on... I've been doing this, the rationalization and explaining of everything instead of feeling, for almost an entire year now - when what actually helped and benefited me are the non-verbal elements. I've been exhausting myself to death with this. The fear from feeling and being with the involuntary has become just messed up, despite strong progress along the way, for small periods. As if I needed someone's answer all the time, instead of relying on myself, or instead of realizing I deserve to feel good first, before solving everything (with reinstatement for example, when I couldn't sleep or live out of utter restless inner feeling and indecisiveness, or with pursuing other means that actually felt are doing good - such as microdosing mushrooms which I stopped mid-way). Hardly breathing most of the time due to this struggle and this constant feeling of no clarity and lack of GROUND. It really feels like an addiction being with the negative, the struggle, the hard, the "heavy" in order to live or allow myself to live. I'm in constant stress mode for more than a year, really extreme plus that dissociation and indecisiveness, and a feeling I MUST ACT AGAINST MY INTUITION and harm myself, that led to me almost being hospitalized a few times in my home country, which I didn't do eventually, and one night hospitalization here in Belgium where my spouse and I used to live to which I came back in October, where they gave me Mirt for one night and ruined my life, since I continued taking it since (that "uncontrollable acting against my interest and intuition" in order to then punish myself and be in constant fighting mode). I can't remember when I had a baseline, probably few years ago. I also suspect I have ADHD and/or autism but can't tell anymore due to all the wd issues. My two main axes throughout all this have been - FEELINGS and emotions and SLEEP. The more secvere the crisis became, the less I would able to be with and feel emotionally what is going on, instead dissociating and making things worse inside of me, charging with energy without being able to let it out. I cry very little through all this - the most extreme suffering in my entire life - when a little before, around two years ago, while still in a kind of crisis, I was crying much more. It is a trick of faith that I discovered a very good sleep channel on youtuve which really help me, and right after started taking Mirt which simply knocks you to sleep and works against your natural sleep mechanism. So, it's been almost four years since things started to go "off" for me, some monthjs after a fast taper and then a fast return to 10mg Paroxetine. Since then I was kind of in constant struggle with my feelings, motivation, intuition, spontaniety, executuve function and concentration. A kind of restless anhedonia and extreme urge to punish myself and feel guilty. The indecisie and confusion became stronger in parallel with insomnia issues becoming worse, which became an obsession. Interestingly, in the past when things became too bad like this I reinstated, but this time it didn't even occur to me to upper the dose when it all began - even though my work and relationship were severely harmed by this. Instead, I chose to taper off completely thinking psychedelics will "solve" it all, but unable to follow through with the psychedelic protocol. As I said, this crisis began around 2020 after a fast drop which I reinstated back to only 10mg. Then last year I tapered off during 5 months, after which some things improved while other deteriorated. It's this inner conflict between wanting to contribute what improved and not wanting to go back to old side effect of the med which led me to continue deteriorating despite reaching such a poor state that it made no sense. Of course not everything can be attributed to wd or the meds - but I think my judgement was already so impaired that made me not realize I'm suffering so bad it's not worth to continue like this. I continued where most people would stop and reinstate much much sooner. Really extreem and nasty stuff - while not working and not even able to arrange my stuff around the house, to clean, losing more and more ability to do more and more things. When this became bad enough - but still not as bad as can get - I was staying a few months alone in me and my spouse's place in Belgium, she wanted me to pick myself up and stabilize somehow. I didn't, even though important insights came to light after, including after a mushroom trip with friends (while still having SSRI in my body that block it). My sensory burnout and really lack of energy or clarity to do anything, and sleeplessness, led me to go to our home country and "rest". But there the indecisiveness and guilt became stronger and stronger (although with windows in between), that I got "stuck" there without accepting my need to rest and stay there, obsessing over going back to Belgium while unable to purchase a ticket or even go to visit friends in another city inside Israel. Then last October I forced myself, litterly to go back, while being highly unstable, her as well, and while she was worried she couldn't provide me the support I need. I then arrived (after two plane tickets bought and money wasted) back to Belgium to feeling of incredible guilt and self-hate and confusion and sensory burnout that it made things worse with her. Of course now I realize I should have accepted arriving back, even if did recklessly and against the needs of my body. I also now realize I should have reinstated the med all along, like she begged me to. Eventually she had enough of me staying in a miserable state which became so unbearable to her she nearly lost her mind as well (endless talking in a frenzy about each "mistake" I made, of coming back like this, etc., while not functioning, not finding therapy, not working nor reinstating). So now I'm highly destabilized, she decided to separate, she has zero compassion left for me, I don't want to go back to my home country, but also too weak to start things on my own. On top of it all - which is why I'm writing this - is the fact that I started Mirt without intending to, and kept on it for 3.5 weeks. It is making things worse All throughout this escapade I have managed to find things that really help so so much, like the body-oriented things I mentioned. But I didn't allow it to continue as long as things are not "settled" medically (meds or mushrooms? meds or ashwaganda? etc. each day obsessing about it). So they came and went... At a certain point in home country I managed to try again after months without, to mediate and discovered vagus nerve activation exercises. This gave such a huge benefit. But then I continued to be torn between the meds or alternatives, home-country or Belgium etc., that I went back into the loop and gorundlessness. And this happened also, again, back in Belgium, in a similar manner. Now since the whole mirt thing I'm not allowing myself even a moment of rest, not to mention meditation or other grounding exercises. And even while writing this I feel how I focus on the negative so much when I have so much positive in me! It's like a constant battle and I feel so bad about it - I feel guilty about being negative again and again... But really, I feel all this is without hope now that I ruined my last chance of stability and an acceptable existence (which is with my spouse in Europe and not with my parents in home country. Which is lost.) I became so guilty and unsure about everything that I couldn't even find the therapy I need all throughout, or to pursue it. I think body-oriented work is what I need the most, but also trauma-oriented etc. But I couldn't start with anyone and continue. Now I realize I became like this due to wd issues, more than anything else. I don't know what to do now. I have to find a stable base to begin to heal from all the damage and trauma of this not only last years, even just from last couple of months... And I feel I not only ruined it because of making my partner leave me, but also by starting a new harmful drug. It's while being on the mirt that I start reading for the first time about the proper way to taper, realizing what I've done with the previous drug and benzo, and realizing what I "had" for many years are probably wd issues and not just trauma issues I have to solve by myself. I met with Mark Horowitz two weeks ago, but sadly listened to him and not my intuition about stopping the mirt while it was still a good chance doing it with less wd issues. I also had one meeting with another wd counselor that I may meet again. Right now I feel utterly hopeless, especially knowing this could be solved or bettered so easily already a year ago, and many people tried to tell me that. That I can't control myself anymore and that it could get worse. Drug history: 2003-2004/5: 40 mg Paroxetine 2004-2006: 20mg Paroxetine 2006: fast taper to 0, holding for several months 2006-2011: 20 mg Paroxetine 2011: attempt to fast taper to 0, reinstatement after a few weeks 2011-2014: 20 mg Paroxetine 2014/5: fast taper down to 10mg September 2015: fast updose to 20mg September 2015-2020?: 20mg Winter 2020: attempt to fast taper to 0, after a few weeks on 0 back to 10mg Winter 2020-September 2022: 10mg (crisis, deterioration of old symptoms plus new symptoms starting throughout 2020) September/October 2022: start 4-5 month taper to zero December 2023: macrodose of psylosibin, mostly blocked by SSRI still in body January 2023: zero mg End of April 2023-now: Attivan, changing dosages, the most was 1.5 gram. Tapering since, with kindling by mistake, now on little less than 0.5 mg, at night Spring 2023: trying micro-dosing as well as macrodosing psylosibin August 2023: trying out Amanita Muscaria mushroom microdosing for 3 weeks February 2024-now: 3.5 weeks on 15mg Mirtazapine

Hi all! If you’re reading this, I’m sorry you’re here. Truly. I added a signature but a quick rundown on me- after I had my last baby in December 2020 I was diagnosed w postpartum hypertension. I was terrified I’d have a heart attack or stroke, so the doctor gave me a script for Lorazepam. I had no history of anxiety or depression. I fell dependent in 20 days and the doc dropped me as a patient. 2021 and benzo withdrawal were my darkest days. I jumped from .0625mg November 2021. That was followed by 2 months of depression and 4 more months of windows and waves, then I was ok. I tapered off Prozac last year. Everyone told me to CT and I knew better, but still tapered a bit quick. 20mg in 5.5 months. Everything was fine once I jumped, but then one day last month (coincidentally 3 months post-jump) I had caffeinated coffee on accident (only drink decaf now) and a beer. I’ve been able to handle alcohol ok. But to go from 10-30mg caffeine to 300+ was a nightmare. I got dropkicked into acute with panic, dread, doom, all the worst mental symptoms. It passed in a few days. I’m still curious if the wave was caffeine induced or just the delayed effects of discontinuing Prozac. The last month has been windows and waves with less intense waves and less glorious windows. I just hit 4 months off Prozac. I’m in a wave right now but it’s manageable. The symptoms are more physical right now than mental which is always easier for me- heart palps, muscle tension, chest tightness, worsened tinnitus, stuff like that. I know this will all be behind me some day so I try to just ride the waves!

Hello fellow travelers, I am a recovering user of many psychotropic prescriptions (which I at first thought were good for me). After finally being able to taper off and learning much more, I've revised my thinking a bit: about the drugs, about the doctors, about the medical profession in general and about what I can reasonably be certain is healthy. I've got pretty decent working knowledge of psychotropics now, but still have much to learn. I have read the Ashton Manual, a few scholarly articles by people like Guy Chouinard, and have some experience helping people with withdrawal and post-withdrawal. I also have a bit of an interest in general medicine. Drugs taken include: Remeron, Effexor, Clonazepam, Triazolam, Escitalopram, too much Olanzapine and a few other compounds with varying levels of harm. I am now around two years post-withdrawal of Clonazepam, having begun my odyssey taking amitryptaline for sleep, and am still recovering from extreme insomnia, gastro problems and general fatigue. I can't really say it was worth it, but you live and you learn.

New here. I was on Zoloft for 7 or 8 years. It pooped out and otherwise made me feel tired and lethargic with crazy brain fog. I transitioned to Lexapro, then basically every other drug (SSRI, SNRI, BENZOS, MAOI and others) for the next 6 years but nothing worked. It took me a while to figure it out but I became hypersensitive to the drugs. I decided to taper off them in 2009. After a couple of months, my brain crashed. Headache, dizziness, difficult concentrating, internal restlessness, tingling, hypersensitivity to light/sun/exercise. Its 24/7 and lasted since 2009. Because of the hypersensitivity, I am convinced that any drug that targets serotonin receptors I will overreact too. Since Ketamine works in a different way, I am considering giving it a try. My understanding is that it is an NMDA receptor antagonist. It binds to the NMDA receptor protein on cell membranes and blocks glutamate from binding there. Has anyone suffering from hypersensitivity/kindling tried Ketamine?

My story in a nutshell: Always been anxious but got really bad in 2015 Went to see the doctor and was told I didn't have depression but had GAD Was prescribed Sertraline and GP told me coming off them meant “mild to no symptoms” Started 50mg Sertraline 1 Jan 2016 but also quit coffee and alcohol at the same time Brother on 200mg told me you feel better after six weeks Had blurred vision, dry mouth and increased appetite but was otherwise fine (but still anxious) Six weeks to the day (more on this later) I felt more relaxed, clear-headed and less anxious Decided to come off after nine months as to me medicine is a last resort and I felt okay Tapered off over three months Withdrawal started and it was indescribably bad — I can barely even put it into words Went on for a while and I went back to the doctors, was dismissively told it would right itself and that I could always go back on them if I wanted to Didn't have many people to speak to about it but those I did said it was my depression coming back and I need to go back on the meds I knew it wasn't as how I was feeling was an order of magnitude worse than I'd ever felt in my life the the most depression I'd had before that was likely dysthymia as I was always functioning and never missed any work from it (interestingly I don't think the NHS recognise dysthymia and I was never diagnosed with it but in hindsight while not feeling hopeless or worthless I likely have had anhedonia for a lot of my adult life) I suffered alone for about 7–8 months, easily the worst I have never felt in my life: hopeless, worthless and angry in a way that is so extreme as to be difficult to describe After about 8 months it eased up Still with anhedonia I would function okay for a few weeks then my emotions would fall off a cliff and it'd be like being in mini withdrawal for about a week, passive suicidal ideation This went on for 6+ years while I tried to explore alternative methods of recovery (exercise, supplements, etc) As well as this cycle I get constant nose bleeds in my right nostril, I get hand tremors (never had them before Sertraline) if I am stressed and sometimes my memory and thinking goes haywire (not blackouts but difficulty forming and retaining memories even though my recall and clarity of thinking was good before, e.g. once when stressed, I forgot which side of the road cars travelled on and found myself unable to remember quite recent conversations) Exercise and eating well (esp. cutting out sugar) helped but life was still a slog Kind of got sick of fighting this thing about a year ago and had a bit of a breakdown and realised I was on a continuum of passive to active suicidal ideation Hit rock bottom and swore to myself I would never act on intrusive thoughts and started fighting back with renewed vigor Slowly improved through supplements, light therapy, cold shower, lots of exercise and a particularly the Human Givens approach — basically it shows that your thinking affects your sleep and your sleep quality determines your mental state A couple of months later I started taking Moringa powder and within a week the “blackness” had gone (not sure how/why but it is rich in tryptophan) After about a month of taking Moringa I actually started to feel happy; after an 8 year battle, I'd finally beaten this thing However… All was good for a few months until some things in life went badly all in a row and my stress levels ramped up and I've had a few bad months. I am being asked to look at medication by my family but this time a different SSRI. It seems crazy to me given what I've been through but I have promised to at least look at other SSRIs, hence this post. Here are my questions: How different are SSRIs? Can any of the more well-informed members here take a look at my history and let me know what taking a different SSRI might look like? Fluoxetine (Prozac) looks like it is less likely to cause withdrawal symptoms but I've also read if you have had suicidal ideation before it can make that worse. Am I likely to have the same experience coming off any SSRI? I can't imagine being on them life as a) it doesn't address anything and b) I have heard they stop working eventually. I am also very concerned about the data surrounding them, particularly the lack of evidence for the chemical imbalance theory and their ineffectiveness in mild to moderate depression. I know SSRIs work as a placebo for some. I found it suspicious that I started feeling the benefits on the exact day my brother said they'd start working. Almost like my brain expected it. And if I ever got serious side effects like I had before…I honestly don't know what I'd do. And finally, the irony of having had to deal with all this depression simply because I took an antidepressant is not lost of me.

Hello, I came across this website through google search "vraylar" My med history can be viewed in my signature. I have been browsing this website for a while and I finally decided to register an account. I guess I feel desperate and really need some advice meanwhile waiting for a horrendously long time to see a neurologist and an ENT doctor to check what is going on and rule out other underlying situations. I was first diagnosed as bipolar back in 2018 when I was still in college by school's healthcare center's psychiatrist. We tried Abilify first, switched to Lamictal and quetiapine after intense akathisia (it went right away when I ct abilify and switched to Lamictal and quetiapine). Then quetiapine gave me stuffy noses and by the beginning of 2019 I realize these meds didn't make me feel well at all, so I did taper on my own and became med free from 2019-end of 2021. In the beginning of 2022, due to relocation to a new city, entering master program at a nice grad school, breaking up, worrying about whether I can get a job/go into a PhD, I had intense stress and caused me want to seek help from psych med again. My school referred a nurse practitioner (later found out to be irresponsible as hell) and she put me on vraylar 1.5 mg beginning 2/11. First 2 days feel ok until 2/14 I realized that feeling of "muscles bursting out of my skin" was caused by vraylar. I talked about this with the NP and she added mirtzapine on 2/25. It did not work and the NP told me to just stop both on 2/27. The rest of my med history is in my signature. The nurse practitioner is perceived as irresponsible because she dropped me immediately after I was hospitalized and disabled my account so I can't even access my medical record. My development of symptoms: 2/14 - 2/27: intense feeling of "muscles bursting out of my skin/inner vibration" and restless/akathisia 2/28 - 3/16 (after stopping vraylar and mirtazapine): continued above symptoms, and muscle twitches/faciculation appeared: sometimes my finger, legs, and arms would twitch around. When I hold objects in my hands they tremor a lot. during hospitalization: 3/17 the inner vibration alleviated during the day (might be due to trying lorazepam at night of 3/16), then came back at night in full force through out the entire hospitalization; muscle twitches spread to head. I felt my right ear had some infection and the nurse gave me some ear drops. 3/23: discharged, severe akathisia, along with all symptoms described above. 3/24 - 3/28: inner vibration/akathisia alleviated, but came back on 3/25. 3/29: inner shaking alleviated for a day, and then came back full force on 3/30. all other symptoms continued. 3/30-4/10: a period of "inner vibration alleviated for a short while and came back throughout a day." all other symptoms continued. Starting from 4/09, a "squeaky noise" joined along with feelings of flowing sand/electro current running in the back of my head. 4/11-4/18: inner shaking was replaced by "bugs crawling under skin" and the intensity varied. On 4/11, right-ear tinnitus joined. On 4/16, a loud thump can be heard in my right ear as if the muscles in my inner ear also joined the muscle twitching symptom. 4/19-4/28: "bugs crawling under skin" almost disappeared in core area and manifested more in limbs, all other symptoms continued. 4/29-5/7: every morning when I wake up I felt something exploded in my chest and made me extremely agitated. all other symptoms continued. 5/8 - 5/22: no more morning wake up explosion. The inner vibration came back in legs. Started to have very low energy since 5/8. all other symptoms continued. 5/23: woke up with the most severe electro shot/numb feelings in my limbs, as if there was no blood flowing at all. all other symptoms continued. 5/24-5/28: strong electro shot/numb feelings in arms when lying down on back, although nothing was on my arms. all other symptoms continued. 5/31: all of a sudden full body inner vibration came back this day. all other symptoms continued. 6/1 - now: no more full body inner vibration. electro shot/numb feelings mainly manifest in hands and feet. all other symptoms continued. Now I know the symptoms that still manifest are paeathesia, tinnitus and faciculation. They are still very disabling and by no means I am functioning. The faciculation has dropped from around 70 tics/hour to around 20-50 tics/hour. I am just very scared that it might be permanent and that even if I healed, all other non-psych medications that didn't give me trouble in the past would trigger all of these terrible symptoms again in the future. I don't know what to do. Nothing seems to be stimulating or make my situation worse, but nothing helps neither.

Hi everyone I was on Paxil 20mg for 19 years- most of which time it worked well (except for some weight gain and bloating). While studying at grad school I started taking Adderall for four years until it developed until a problem and managed to come off it inn July 2017. Went through the PAWs from that which lasted for a long time (and is maybe still ongoing). However, since I came off the Adderall, the Paxil appeared to have stopped working (either than or the PAWs from the Adderall was overriding its effects). So 5 months ago I decided to do the Prozac bridge to see if Prozac would work for me. I did a straight switch to Prozac 20 mg without any tapering and felt some withdrawals and also felt weird most likely from starting on the Prozac as well. While taking Prozac I have been up and down, with good weeks and bad. However, in the last two weeks I have had what seem suspiciously like the 'waves' I hear about on this site. I have felt the worst I have ever felt in my life and it seems very much like SSRI withdrawal to me (I've experienced withdrawals from Paxil several times before when I either ran out or tried to quit). This time symptoms include a sense of impending doom, nausea, tinnitus, hypersensitivity to stress, depression. It seems unusual to be suddenly hit with withdrawal symptoms 5 months after giving up Paxil and while still taking Prozac right? So my question is- is this some delayed withdrawal to the Paxil I stopped taking 5 months ago or is it some adverse reaction to the Prozac (even though I have had periods of feeling fine on it). I am leaning towards to the possibility of coming off the Prozac and reinstating the Paxil. Even though I was feeling pretty depressed when I was on Paxil last I didn't feel like this now where I basically feel like I'm losing my mind. Any recommendations on what I should do?

I was on ssris from 10 to 32, (started tapering at 30. I was on benzos for 7 years from 23-30. At 23 I was also put on an enzyme inhibitor (omeprazole) by my PCP that increased both the benzo and the ssri in my body, and doctors were not aware of the interaction. My withdrawal saga actually started with me switching from omeprzole to pepcid. Anyway after tapering from benzos and ssris, I developed some central sleep apnea, and my sleep was so bad I couldn't function. For some reason trazodone increases aurosal thresholds and helps sleep apnea I take 25 mg at night. Is this a really bad idea. I'm still in the thick of PAWS, and while functional, definitely low functioning.