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I’m really really struggling lately. Suffering akathesia. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. It’s overwhelming and horrific. It’s been 13 months since this started and it doesn’t seem to be improving. My mind just won’t shut off with the negative ruminating. I feel there isn’t any way out of this. And it kills me this is my life. Just needed a place to vent my thoughts. Thank you for listening

Utek (Jeff) Hello new friends: Attempting to get off Mirtazacrap Hello, I will try to make this as coherent as possible. By my estimation, my brain is functioning at around 50-60% of what was normal. But that is a vast improvement over just a couple of weeks ago. First, I would like to say one thing about mirtazapine. If it were not for the next day brain fog, sleepiness, fatigue, dizziness, lethargy, and worsening bph symptoms, and weight gain, it would be a pretty good sleeping pill. The last couple of years have been difficult for me and my parents, as I know it has been for the rest of the world also. But I really handled it like a superstar. My Dad was in the last stages of dementia, and he got covid. My mother has a mild case of MS, so I had my hands full. Being an only child put all the responsibility on me. My Dad died in March, 2022. I then decided to focus all of my efforts on the health and happiness of my Mother. We had a couple good weeks. Due to a cascading series of negative health events for my Mother involving afib, paranoid delusions, and 2 lengthy hospital stays, I rapidly lost the ability to sleep. On August 2, I was sleeping about an hour a night. I had nurses helping me with my Mother, but I still had loads of responsibilities. I was barely functional. It took great effort just to write a check. (From what I know now, my cortisol levels must have been off the chart.) After a month of little to no sleep, my best friend drove me to the Emergency Room at the VA. They gave me trazodone and hydroxyzine. I also got appointments for primary care and the psych doctor a week later. The first night I got 6 hours sleep with the trazodone, but felt horrific the next day. I did not mess with the hydroxyzine. After the first night, I only got around 3 hours sleep. Through some kind of miracle (“Jesus take the wheel”) I was able to drive myself the VA the next week to see the psych doctor. She gave me mirtazapine and Buspar. I sort of freaked out, because I remembered we gave my Dad a low dose of mirtazapine to help with his appetite. I took a Buspar that day but it made me so dizzy that I never took another one. After researching Mirt online, I decided to stick with the trazodone. Trazodone just did not work for me. I was only sleeping around 3 hours a night. I reluctantly switched to Mirtazapine a week later. The first night on mirtazapine, I slept over six hours but felt like the walking dead the next day. After the first night, I could only sleep a couple of hours on mirtazapine, and I still had the next day hangover symptoms. This is when things really got bad for me. I am a lover of life but I didn't want to live anymore. I was just so tired. The next 5 days were bad, and dark, and then suddenly I began to sleep 6 to 8 hours on the mirtazapine. I still felt like dog crap the next day, but I decided to fight as hard as I could to live. The first night that I was able to sleep with mirtazapine, I decided to taper to get off it. I had been spending most of my time studying and implementing the free cbti online course the VA offers. I tapered from 15mg to 10mg and still slept good. You can imagine how happy I was. Then the next night I did not sleep at all. So I went back to 15mg and started researching how to get off this crap. I found Altostrata's article which led me to this site, and the instructions on the no harm 10% taper. With my mind only functioning at around 30% capacity, all this measuring and turning the medicine into liquid was quite overwhelming. But I bought my scale and pill cutter on Amazon, and understand exactly how to do the liquid when the time comes. As of today, November 22, 2022 I am down to 12.5mg and I am still sleeping good. Since I started the medicine, I have only not been sleepy 2 days. Today is one of those days, so I decided to do this intro. A few weeks ago this would not have been possible. For me the side effects of mirtazapine are truly awful. The brain fog, and fatigue are intense. This seems to improve a minuscule amount each day. A few weeks ago I was barely functional. Driving to the dentist was a monumental task. But now I can function a little better. I believe I could handle a crisis. But everything takes intense mental focus. My favorite thing in life was walking a 5 mile trail near my home. I made the full walk yesterday, but there was no pleasure. I can now watch a 30 minute sitcom, but a movie would be out of the question right now. I am very grateful for this website. The information is so vital. The sleep mask and garbage bags on the windows have made a huge difference. I sleep an extra hour because of it. The supplements are helping and must say the Lactium is extremely effective for me. I am holding it in reserve for the inevitable rebound insomnia. A few weeks ago, I was at the point where I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I acknowledged the possibility that one might exist. Today, I see a flicker of light, and plan to fight with all my might to reach it. A funny/weird side story: I am a huge Carolina basketball fan, and a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking to myself, I wonder how Carolina did last year. I did remember Roy had retired and Hubert took over. I had completely forgotten that Carolina had a miraculous year, playing Duke in the final 4 and playing in a heart wrenching loss in the championship game. I'm not sure if this is due to the month of no sleep or the mirtazapine. And I had a hard time averaging numbers a few days ago, even thou I am a math wiz. My main focus right now is to get off the mirtazapine and still be able to sleep. If anyone knows how to deal with the intense fatigue and brain fog, I would love to know. Coffee does nothing for me anymore. The mirt seems to neutralize the effects of caffeine. How insidious! Many thanks to all the volunteers here, and all the advice. I will update as I continue my journey to get off mirtazapine.

Hi there, I have been through polydrug hell, suffered insomnia after medical shock then given host of sleep meds but believe they caused paradoxical breathing or possibly withdrawals maybe from mix, was given zolpiclone and Xanax and no in breath when going into deeper sleep and would wake constantly? Has anyone experienced this? Continued and given mirtrazapine at morning time! Then amitriptyline which caused urinary retention stopped both, no sleep still so kept on Xanax and zopiclone, then stopped and the same scenario no in breath? If anyone knows what this is? I was then given Xanax to keep me asleep, never more than 1mg ar night only, would you have withdrawals from that if just at night? Panic attacks as no sleep only an hour or so, myoclonus, can’t sleep during day time jerks hypnic. Then started sertraline and hyperacusis started and Xanax still. Then went to psych hospital as wasn’t sure what was happening? Was treated horrifically told agitated depression, never had depression in life, we thing misdiagnosed badly, by power tripping psych as I challenged that. Given Effexor, then clonazapam at night 1mg kept pushing Effexor up, no benefit. I was so worried as they were leaving me on clonazapam, I was only taking at night, day was cut cold Turkey as I was too sleepy. No weaning. Then told take more at night! But got trazadone added 100mg and cut clonazapam to .5 from 1mg, hyperacusis back as had gone but worse than when went in! Effexor pushed up more, phergen added night and clonazapam cut to .25mg from .5mg, Effexor up at 150mg, hyperacusis unbelievable now! Odd as if was depression should the Effexor now get rid of hyperacusis? No benefit. Then told take more, 187 and I couldn’t sleep at all. Myoclonus so bad. Was left even though had bruising everywhere ignored amongst so many other symptoms panic attacks so bad, let out as insurance up, left in lurch, cut to 150 Effexor then 112 and hyperacusis worsening. Got public psych but she said thinks misdiagnosed but no disgnosis and said cut Effexor to 75 and hyperacusis was too much to bear I had to go back to 112.5 mg. What is going on, I’ve never dealt with drugs like this before and don’t know what’s going on and very bad care here, told hyperacusis ENT thing but ruled out but ignored. Hypnic jerks, sleep not great at all, panic so bad in morning feel in total trauma ptsd all time freeze mode. Treated so badly. No info given on anything when in hospital just ignored and wouldn’t wean me off clonazapam yet told me Im on addictive meds now for life! Can anyone help me on hyperacusis and what’s going on breathing at night and hypnic jerks. Breathing is separate than jerks, no in breath in deeper sleep stage. I am at wits end and no life. Left without help. Clonazapam Now out of stock. I’m on it still what left .25mg trazadone and melatonin now might, wake up in horrors. Is it possibly to have withdrawals daily? If low dose? I’m so confused. Pharmacist said possible, my nervous system in total disarray. The 112 to 75 was too much. Too fast just cut fast. Any help on how to cut as tried opening beads out but even that hyperacusis was getting worse? Please help me make sense of this all? Thank you. Is it trauma PTSD, withdrawals, as I am worse now than ever, do get some sleep which is good thing. But wake in horrors. All day panic attacks constantly no let up unless lying down. BP all over place. Get so weak. Have thyroid condition and period issues, fibroid and lot of blood loss monthly. Skin is so dry. Diarrhea all time, gastro issues, reflux. In such panic I just need some advice what May be going on? Thanks so much

Hello Everyone, I'm so grateful for communities like this community. To know I'm not alone. There's so much I want to say though I also want to post an introduction today and my concentration is limited so I'll try to keep it brief. I apologize if it turns out to be a bit long. My first experience of psychotropics was in 1994 when I had moved to a new area, was laid off, and struggling. My PCP was a willing participant and prescribed various medications - Zoloft, Paxil, whatever was available at that time. Nothing seemed to do what I hoped it would do and I didn't go any further. I wish I could say that that was the end of the story. Several years later in 1997, I moved to a new area with a woman I had been seeing. Our relationship was not a healthy relationship and I was under a lot of stress at work, wasn't sleeping well, was having a bit of a nervous breakdown. I decided to make an appt with a psychiatri1st. By that time, I was convinced that medication was an answer to my dilemma. I believed the current narrative of emotional distress, depression and anxiety, neurotransmitters, and the need for medication to make up for what was missing. The first psychiatrist wanted to just put me on Klonopin, said it would do the trick. I knew a bit about benzos and thought this recommendation wasn't helpful. It didn't fit with my understanding of serotonin deficiency. I went to see a different psychiatrist who put me on Effexor, titrating up to 300 mg. He prescribed Xanax initially to help with sleep and anxiety during the day. I was willing to use benzos as a temporary measure. That made more sense to me. I look back with regret and anger that other options weren't offered for what really were normal existential challenges of work and relationship, something I wasn't equipped to handle at the time. Fast forward to the present. I've been on medication since. And I've had a lot of trouble finding a medication that doesn't have significant side effects. I've felt despair. I've been told numerous times that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. And yet changing medications is a nightmare. The side effects are a nightmare. I recently read a book called Pathological that prompted a deeper reflection and research on medication in general. That the medication may be my problem. I had already started titrating down on my current cocktail. I experience akathesia on Zoloft, the reason the Remeron was added. It's a bit of a shock that my psychiatrist seemed uninformed. He wasn't aware of akathesia as a potential longer term side effect beyond 1-2 weeks. If patients experience this, it passes, he said. He offered no explanation for why it was passing for me. I've wanted to titrate off the Zoloft for this reason though I haven't known what next. I've felt hopeless. This process is so tiring and disruptive. My psychiatrist is a good man though he doesn't have really good ideas about what to do. Just throw more things against the wall and see what happens as if this were a simple process. I started to believe that maybe I have Bipolar II and misinterpreted the akathesia as hypomania. I was on track to titrate down on my cocktail and look at mood stabilizers, something my psychiatrist was willing to try, when I came across the book Pathological. It changed my view in many ways. My dilemma now is best to proceed. I'm learning just how naive I am about psychotropics and titrating off them. In my efforts in the past, I've followed a more traditional titrating schedule and crashed and burned only to think I'd relapsed and needed that medication. I thought I was doing it more thoughtfully this time which in some ways I am compared to the past though I'm still moving fast. I seemed okay with Zoloft 25 mg and Remeron 15 mg. I went down to 12.5 mg Zoloft and the withdrawal side effects were too much to manage. I'm using liquid Zoloft and quickly went up to an intermediate dose of 17 mg which seemed to be okay. I thought at 17 mg I could go down a third at a time from 25 mg. Because the sedating effects of the Remeron were kicking in on lower Zoloft, I went down on my Remeron to 7.5 mg. It's been 2.5 weeks since that change. It's been hard. The biggest issue is that often I'm unable to think, concentrate. Brain dead. When it happens I'm dead in the water. I can't really do anything. I'm awake though my brain isn't functioning. I can think a bit though my brain quickly locks up, shuts down, goes dead and it's worse as the day progresses. It's a huge issue, making work harder, diminishing my quality of life. I like to read and my ability to read and enjoy it is absent. After reading an article by Adele Framer yesterday, I realized that my plan to not overreact, to name withdrawal for what it is, and just live through the awfulness may not be the best plan. That things may get worse and that there may be a better way. That I need to slow down. Expect that this is going to take much longer than I expected. In that spirit because I'm really struggling with withdrawal and it's having a big impact on my life, I thought that maybe I needed to go back up a bit on the Remeron since it seemed that things really got worse when I went down on it (though I could be experiencing some continued withdrawal from the Zoloft). I went from 7.5 to 11.25 mg Remeron last night. I woke this morning, feeling like I wanted to cry and cry and cry. Maybe this increase is too much. The article talked about kindling and sensitization and I wondered if this isn't why even small dose changes cause problems. My psychiatrist unfortunately is willing to be present as I titrate though his knowledge in this area is limited. My initial question is, Where to go from here with the Zoloft and Remeron to continue the titration? I know I have a lot to learn and am wanting/needing to learn. Also one burning question is, Is this issue with an inability to think, concentrate, and focus, this feeling that my brain shut downs so completely and I can't function, common and is there anything I can do to address this? If you've made it this far, thank you for listening and for any input you can offer. Best, st11

I have been off of Mirtazapine since May 31st. Unfortunately I think I need to go back on. I was given the wrong advice and did an extremely fast wean. I was only taking 15 mg for 5 months. They had me completely weaned off within 10 days and now I’m really suffering the withdrawals. I currently have long Covid. I’ve had it for 7 months. It’s reason I was put on Mirtazapine to begin with. I am also taking 100mg of fluvoxomine. My question is can I just start back up on Mirtazapine (7.5mg) starting tonight? I need some relief from these symptoms. Then once my long Covid is better I will start a much slower weaning process

Hi everyone As you can see from the sig I've messed up my taper. It could have been worse - doc told me to stop dead on 15mg back in August as I'd only been on it 8 months. It was me who attempted to wean off and I think I've messed it up, especially after reading around this forum for the past week. By the time I got to 3.75mg it was considered a "placebo" so I stopped. Anyway, I used to take citalopram many years ago after getting post natal depression, took it for quite a few years then just stopped dead (probably 10 years ago so not relevant to now). Absolutely no withdrawal problems. Not so this time! I was on mirt for sleep problems caused, probably, by my HRT not working anymore. My oestrogen level was non existent and the symptoms were appalling. I was on my knees with palpitations, anxiety and 2 hrs sleep a night for all of 2021 and had other health issues on top, and a bereavement. The mirt worked great and got me to a good place with sleep, hrt experimentation began to reap rewards and my level went up. Unfortunately I put on a lot of weight which caused other issues, like massive amounts of heartburn, and psychologically that made me miserable. Around July my hands became very shaky. We decided that it had done the job and it was time to come off. Like I say, it was my decision not to go completely cold turkey but this was not a supervised taper (as you can tell) and I wish I'd known about this forum earlier. I'm not doing as badly as some of you, but it aint great. My anxiety has crept up, the palpitations are back, sleep is not as good as it was but the worst thing, and which is causing me the most worry, are the shakes. In the evening I get full on internal body shakes which I know can be a withdrawal symptom so I'm putting up with it. It gets worse when I stress about it so I just take a deep breath and watch tv as a distraction (which does help). No, it's the shaky hands - I'm convinced I've got something bad wrong with me and I guess I'm looking for reassurance that this is a normal thing. Sometimes when I'm sewing, for instance, I can't thread the needle, or when putting on eyeliner my hand is all over the place. It seems to be with very precise actions that I have the problem. It eased off once my oestrogen levels went up back in September, really improved. It's come back in the past 7-10 days - I stopped mirt about 15 days ago - so I'm really, really hoping this is withdrawal and not something else. Sometimes I "feel" as if my hand is shaking but when I hold them out they're rock steady (so is this just part of the anxiety and me obssessing over it making it worse?). I think I could ride this out if I was sure I didn't have something else wrong, but it seems that this happens less on Mirt than on other ADs as far as google tells me, so I'm pretty scared. Also, I'm sneezing like the clappers (which I guess is histamine related). I can control it with beconase but if I forget it's always the early hours of the morning when it starts up, usually just after I've finally managed to get to sleep. An hour of sneezing is exactly what I need at 3am. Otherwise have taken up yoga, try to get a good walk every day, eat well, have cut out alcohol, drink lots of water. I'm doing all I can in terms of diet and exercise, but I keep checking my hands every five seconds and it's really going to do my head in.

Hi.. My story is, “briefly“, that I have within the past 3 years, been on... so. Much. Crap. And I am currently in withdrawal torture from hell and have been for years now. In the beginning of 2019, I had a very bad stress / anxiety reaction, and I was quickly put on medication. Benzodiazepines for two months along with starting Zoloft. Quit Benzos cold turkey (doctor’s orders) and then Zoloft was upped to 125 mg (in hindsight I am pretty sure it was because I reacted strongly to Benzo quitting). I felt completely horrible on Zoloft and tapered off over the course of 2.5 months (doctor’s orders). Then I was in complete hell and couldn’t sleep so after being “clean” for one month, I was put on 7.5 mg. Mirtazapine. I could FINALLY sleep and it did seem to help my anxiety a bit? I still had a lot of strange horrendous symptoms though but I don’t know if that was from Mirtazapine or SSRI withdrawal ...? Can a dosis of 7.5 mg. Mirtazapine cancel out severe SSRI withdrawal? Anyway - So in 2020 I was on Mirtazapine up and down weekly between 7.5 and smaller doses (doctor said I could just adjust from day to day). I ended up just completely wrecked and just lied in bed in a haze.. so they took me off Mirtazapine and started me on 60 mg. Duloxetine plus Promethazine for sleep. Total haze still, awful.. So off it again after 7 months - tapered from 60 mg. Duloxetine to 0 over 4 weeks. Then felt .... HORRIBLE (!!!) and started self medicating with Benzodiazepines while I waited for withdrawal to end for two months- until my doctor found out and said stop that. Then I was put on Pregabalin and Escitalopram 10 mg. from March 2021 until I wanted to quit (because I was a complete foggy hazy wreck on that as well). Stopped Pregabalin in May and Escitalopram in July (tapered from 10 mg. to 0 over 4 weeks). In September I tried to take a tiny dose of Escitalopram to ease the horrendous withdrawal symptoms .. but that didn’t work and I felt worse. So I just thought I’d push through this indescribable nightmare... in December however I took 1/2 pill of Benzodiazepine twice because it was so unbearable. So.. now it is 9 months since I stopped Escitalopram (/6 months since I tried a small dose for a week) and 4 months since Benzodiazepines.. I can’t describe how much of a hell it has been AND STILL IS 😔 I have constantly tried to tell myself that it WILL and MUST get better soon. And while some symptoms have gotten better, I have almost no life by now. I hardly see anyone because I just can’t due to symptoms, I hardly exercise or leave my apartment. Some days, like today, it is almost constant torture. A week ago I tried Melatonin (4.5 mg. over two days) and then I’ve tried some Valerian root pills.. somehow it’s gotten worse now. So.......... bottom line: I’m thinking about starting Mirtazapine just to ease the withdrawal symptoms and to make sure I sleep better. Right now no matter how much I sleep, I am never rested and feel like I haven’t slept for days everyday. But I am BEYOND scared that it will make everything worse, and then I have yet another drug to get free from. So yeah.. does anyone know if Mirtazapine can help SSRI withdrawal symptoms? I honestly don’t know what to do. Thanks and sorry about the long message. I feel pretty desperate. 😔 Best Louise

Hello I am from Germany and on 0,6 mg cita from 30 mg and 3 mg Mirta, both since 2019 slowly taper.

I have been on venlafaxine 150 from about 2004 and had stayed on it (more for preventive use as I felt quite well). In 2016, I visited a GP at my usual practice, as I was feeling a little low and was switched, very abruptly I thought (he said venlafaxine was quite an old choice of first line therapy), to fluoxetine (which a later specialist I met at the Royal Edinburgh suggested was probably a poor decision on the GP’s half – he reckoned I should have first tried upping the dose). I was also rapidly, tapered off the venlafaxine (2-3 weeks). I now know this is considered very short withdrawal time (and am aware that prolonged or very prolonged tapering (a year or more) is being advised. Venlafaxine has a very short half life and therefore rapid withdrawal means one has very quickly, very little left of the drug in one’s system. Anyway, over the following 2-3 weeks of withdrawal, I very rapidly descended into my worst ever experience of depression. I will never know exactly the cause – possibly venlafaxine withdrawal syndrome or the fluoxetine not working at all or a reaction to fluoxetine – or whether it would have happened without the drug change. The latter is unlikely in my view as when I was put back on to venlafaxine I made a decent measure of recovery (albeit at a higher dose than before). Mirtazapine was added later on (I take 22.5mg) . This last combination appeared to work but I have now slid back somewhat it feels – overall, much of the time, I feel pretty poor. I don’t feel like trying yet another drug as it means facing for the second time, the venlafaxine discontinuation syndrome. I’ve noticed that the research literature increasingly talks about the seriousness of antidepressant withdrawal and how common it is. Incidentally, I have also read about brain zaps, which I only discovered existed after having 2 or 3 occurrences of them myself (I hadn’t a clue what they were at the time). Now I notice that missing one daily dose can have some notable unpleasant effects as well as the brain . I now wonder if the venlafaxine has lost its efficacy after 17 years – perhaps I’ve become tolerant to it (I can’t accept raising the dose!). I’m also concerned about the long-term health effects of taking the drug – not many studies of long-term effects of antidepressants exist I believe.

Hi New here been checking out the forums, lots of good info. Been struggling a bit. Refer to sig. Think I've been put on wrong combination of drugs. Looking to go off quetiapine and mirtazapine in that order. Apprehensive about the quetiapine - was one of the two meds that reduced within a week, leading to second admission. That taper was supposed to have been quetiapine 100-50-25-0 with a month at each level. Needless to say that the quetiapine 100-50 drop combined with venlafaxine drop 300-225 (75mg per month till 0) saw me admitted for 5 weeks... So they took me off the venlafaxine after much heated discussion. Put the quetiapine back to 100mg ir after trying me on a cocktail of lorazepam, mirtazapine 45mg quetiapine 200ir, 100xr, I could fall asleep for 2.5hrs and wake up wide awake for hours... So on discharge it was mirtazapine 45mg, quetiapine 100mg. Been on that for about 2 months. Saw psychiatrist today who said go quetiapine 100-75-50-25-0 with a week at each level...

Hey everyone, I've wrestled with two crippling bouts of insomnia in my life, both within a year a half of each other. Both bouts of insomnia weren't driven by anxiety or depression, but rather came through illness. So, I don't ordinarily have depression or anxiety. The first time I had insomnia it lasted around 3 months and I got through it with temazepam and remeron, which I tapered off of successfully. The second bout of insomnia started December 8th, 2022, again due to illness. I started temazepam again and later remeron. I had some med changes over the course of several days, which is reflected in my signature, but eventually got back on remeron. My sleep eventually stabilized, so I tapered off the temazepam successfully, with the added help of hydroxyzine. I then stopped the hydroxyzine cold turkey and didn't seem to have any issues. The last thing to go was the remeron, which I always took at 10pm and went to bed at 10:30pm. I was on remeron for about 2.5 months, most of that time being on 15mg, which I then reduced to 7.5mg for a week, then 3.75mg for another week. During the remeron taper I also used 5-10mg of THC and 30mg of CBD at night and I only had one night I didn't sleep well. The last day I took the 3.75mg dose of remeron was March 2nd, 2023. So, I hopped off at 3.75mg and it's been two days and I haven't slept at all either night. I'm guessing I should go back on the 3.75mg dose and do a microtaper with a compounding pharmacy?

Hi everyone So I have been debating whether or not to add my situation or just continue to read the success stories as they really help me. I decided to add my own story as I’m hoping people can give me some hope! So I had my daughter after a terrible pregnancy, I had a condition that put both baby and me at risk and I was rushed into hospital every week heavily bleeding. I was told each time that anything could happen and everytime I work up bleeding in the middle of the night I panicked that I was going to loose my little girl or die and leave my other daughter behind! This carried on for 15 weeks until eventually another heavy bleed left me in the operating theatre and baby girl was born. we were both poorly for a week or 2 but eventually both of us went home. I then discovered I was profusely sweating, especially at night time, and when I say sweating I mean getting up 3 times a night to change my underwear towel dry myself and change the sheets EVERY NIGHT! Anyway, this lack of sleep on top of baby crying all night left me sleep deprived, and like most mums this is fairly normal, I’ve been a new mum before but this was different, the sweats on top of baby crying left me with about 1 hour of broken sleep a night! We also had a house extension going on, my partner away at work and a teenager to care for…. I kept going to the doctors to see why I was sweating and they kept putting me on antibiotics, in total I had 6 courses over 4 months! I felt ok for about a month other then the lack of sleep the sweating subsided a bit, however I began to feel anxious for the first time in my life, I started to be panicking a bit and thinking negatively, then Covid came! I panicked further as a new mum I was worried I would get Covid and it would harm my baby, I started to have my first panic attack I couldn’t swallow properly and my body shock my mind raced, I rang the doctor and there and then he put me on 100mg of Sertraline (Zoloft) over the phone, I took the pill as I wanted the panic to stop, my body was shaking and that is where the hell really began!!! I felt like I was dieing, my body shook, my brain racing, I was vomiting, crying, shivering, heart racing, sweating, it was hell! A different doctor reduced the dose to 50mg and told me to keep going “it takes time for them to work” I stayed like this for 8 weeks, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep as every time I closed my eyes I was thrown straight back out in a panic. I went down to 6 stone, I kept ringing the doctor and all I was told was to carry on. At this point I needed help so I was recommended a homeopath, she gave me lots of different remedies that I didn’t know at the time probably made me worse. I just needed help, anything, I took vitamin injections I got acupuncture but nothing helped I got worse, I started having suicidal thoughts, I rang the doctor again and there and then they told me to stop, don’t take it again they said. So that’s what I did! In known to me I just cold Turkey! I then spent the next 4 months in further hell, more of the same thing, anxiety through the roof, brain feeling foggy, weird thinking, heart palpitations no sleep no appetite. I also got the merina coil fitted, this made me feel even worse, I had no idea why??? I now assume this was due to my nervous system being sensitive, but it would be good for someone with any knowledge to confirm this? so when I thought I was going to die from weight loss I rang the doctor again, she prescribed me mirtazapane! I didn’t know I was in WD I just thought I was going mad!! Initially it did nothing for me, after a few weeks I noticed my appetite increased and I could sleep, however I still always woke in a panic and the anxiety waves still came and went, especially around my period. However inbetween the waves I always felt “weird” I had No emotion, no sympathy, no feelings and weird repetitive thinking. at this point I just accepted I am doomed forever, I have something seriously wrong with me and no doctors will help. I continued to search and search for answers, I then saw a hormone specialist and after some extensive tests she concluded I had a hormone imbalance with having very high estrogeon low progesterone and extremely high cortisol! I started natural progesterone and supplements to bring the cortisol down. I then slowly began tapering off the Mirtazapane as I knew it didn’t let me feel normal, I felt weird all the time with no break, my anxiety was the same in waves so I started to reduce and eventually after 5/6 months I stopped (7 weeks ago) i am now in WD from Mirtazapane, and maybe still the CT feom sertraline too I don’t know?! I feel strange and definitely experience the waves and windows, I had 3 good days last week I enjoyed my babies 2nd birthday, are and danced but now I’m feeling rubbish, I’m waiting for my period but it doesn’t seem to be coming, I find around this time in the month my symptoms get a lot worse, I never suffered from any pms prior to AD’s so not sure why this is? Nervous system maybe? I feel like I’ve been to hell and back and still there, I can’t wait to feel normal again and get through this, I feel like I’m living in a dream, like this is not real! The anxiety is awful I still can’t eat very well and I’m loosing weight, I can’t handle any stress, and feel overwhelmed with simple tasks. im really hoping someone can provide me with some hope, some encouragement, and maybe tell me how this all happened to me as that’s something I ponder on frequently. Why did this happen?? I was fine before that panic attack, maybe I was just so sleep deprived and my hormones were all over the place and the stress of Covid just got too much? My hormone doctor thinks my cortisol was so high during pregnancy as it was so high risk it probably heightened even more when Covid hit and sent me over worrying! Unfortunately I then got prescribed that terrible tablet and the rest is history! anyway that’s my story, I just hope and pray one day I can read it back and it will all be in the past! xx

i’ve been on antidepressants for approximately 10 years doctor put me on different kinds. Just want to be off of them. Recently I was put on mirtazapine to help get off of Pristiq and now I am experiencing with drawl symptoms from tapering down on the mirtazapine. I am withdrawing from mirtazapine at present I would like to be part of a support group to help me get through And to learn if there’s anything I can change i.e. diet to help lessen the symptoms of withdrawal.

Hi everyone, I am hoping to help others and find support as I struggle through prolonged effexor withdrawal. Looking back, I can see so clearly how the nightmare roller coaster ride with medications happened to me. While living in the middle of it, however, it took me a long time to connect the dots and jump off that crazy ride!. And unfortunately, I am paying big time with my health. I am a 34 year old previously very healthy woman. It all started in 2006 with xanax and ambien. I was about 3 weeks away from finals week in professional school when my dad passed away. Dealing with the grief from that and the pressure to continue performing well and passing all my finals in professional school led to bad anxiety and insomnia. I saw a doctor at the health clinic on campus and was given xanax and ambien. At the time, I thought these medications were great! Finally I was sleeping and felt calm. I ended up using them off and on throughout the remainder of school until I graduated in 2007. A few months went by, and then I entered the work force in my new career. This, too, was a very stressful time and I developed insomnia again. I saw a doctor and mentioned the medications that had helped in the past, and with no hesitation was given a presciption for xanax and ambien. I continued to take these medications off and on, and over time needed to increase the doses. I started developing rebound anxiety and insomnia, which got really bad in 2011. At the time, I didn't realize what was happening- I thought I just wasn't coping with life well, and couldn't understand why. I went back to my general practitioner, and she said I had a severe anxiety problem and needed an SSRI. I was desperate to feel normal again and trusted my doctor completely, and readily accepted her prescription for Zoloft (after she assured me the medication was perfectly safe). I picked up the medication, and after reading the side effect list, became very concerned and called my doctor. She said "you shouldn't read that list, now you are sure to develop every side effect on it, because most of those are in peoples heads"). I felt reassured by this and started the medication. Well, I had pretty much every side effect on the list. I won't bother to describe them, we've all been there. I told my doctor what was happening, she said to stick it out. Well, after 2 weeks of pure hell, I stopped the medication. Believe it or not, I then went through withdrawal from that 2 weeks of Zoloft. I developed paresthesia, among many other things, and went to my doctor. She said paresthesia is caused by anxiety, and that this proves I need daily anxiety medication. Of course I believed her, I was so vulvernable and physically sick at the time. She proceeded to put me on and off lexapro, mirtazapine, clonazepam, lorazepam, among others. Every time I started a new med the paresthesia went away within a day or two, but the medication side effects would be unbearable. This is when it started to dawn on me that the paresthesia wasn't anxiety, but was drug withdrawal, as I was recognizing a pattern. My doctor said it wasn't possible, drug withdrawal from these types of meds doesn't exist. I argued that I knew in my heart the paresthesia wasn't caused by anxiety, and that if it's not drug related, it must be an illness of some time. She sent me off to a neurologist which led to about $8000 in tests (blood tests, MRI, ultrasound for the constant nausea, etc etc). All came back normal, at which point the neurologist stated, see- it's anxiety and has been the whole time. I felt very disheartened, accepted my diagnosis, and took her prescription for effexor. I told her that every single medication made me terribly sick, and that I believed the meds and withdrawal from them are what had given me so many problems, and that I was very concerned about taking effexor. She assured me the meds had caused no harm, and that effexor is a wonderful medication, and very safe. She said if I didn't like it, we would stop it, no problem. Silly me started swollowing the pills like a good little sheep. Well, within 2 days the paresthesia was gone. I took the medication for about 2 months and told the neurologist I wanted to discontinue it, as it was causing side effects, and my reason for taking it (paresthesia) had resolved. She told me to take one capsule every other day for a week then discontinue it. I followed her instructions and the withdrawal was out of this world. I had never been so sick in my entire life. After doing some research on line, I stumbled across a web site (probably this one) which explained how to taper effexor slowly. I quickly re-started the medication, and after a week or so, began to slowly wean myself off over 2 months. I had only ever been on the lowest dose of 37.5 mg and thought this would be sufficient. Well, I still experienced withdrawal- slightly more tolerable, but still hellish, and also developed paresthesia again. After about 2 months of dealing with this, I decided to re-instate and taper again over an even longer period. So, I started my third and final taper from effexor in October 2013, and finished in March 2014. Even after such a low dose, and a fairly lengthy taper, I suffered withdrawal. It lasted about 3 months, then I had a period of ~2 months where I was mostly normal, then I got slammed again with severe protracted withdrawal in August/September 2014. So, I have been taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), and praying that this all eventually goes away. The most troublesome thing occurring for me right now, is that I feel as though I have fibromyalgia. I wake up each morning with pain at the base of my skull, and basically all over my body. My eyes are constantly burning and painful. My feet cramp up randomly. I also have severe digestive issues.These have been relentless for about 3 months now. These are things I had never experienced before my roller coaster med ride. I am very worried that these things are permanent. From what I have read, fibromyalgia never goes away. I just don't know if I have real fibromyalgia, or withdrawal-induced fibromyalgia. I am scared that I will have to live the rest of my life in pain and with bad tummy troubles. I am currently seeing a GI doctor and will have endoscopy soon (probably another big waste of money, will probably come back normal just like every other test). I just don't know what else to do. I take no meds, eat very healthy, and force myself to exercise almost daily. The weird thing is, when it comes to the pain- the more sleep I get, the worse I feel. Makes no sense to me! Anyhow, that is my story. I wish I had stopped after my first bad reaction to a drug, I would probably be recovered by now. If I had only known then what I know now! Sorry for the lengthy message. Any input or suggestions is much appreciated. Even if someone can just let me know the pain and stomach issues eventually went away for them, that would give me some hope. Thanks all, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this, more than you'll ever know!

Hi everyone - I've been reading a lot of the great advice and support here for a while and thought I'd finally tell my own story in the hope there might be some help available. I was diagnosed with CFS / Fibromyalgia in 2017 and by December 2018 had been recommended antidepressants several times as a way of combatting the symptoms (acute leg pain and anxiety mainly). You probably won't be too surprised to learn that what happened next made things ten times worse. I was prescribed Mirtazapine right at the end of December 2018 but after four weeks thought better of it. I informed my GP who advised me to simply cut my dose in half for two weeks and stop. I felt fine for a few days and met a friend for a glass of wine (again, this was approved by my GP). On the way back I suddenly felt awful, vomited when I got home and had crazy dreams that night. Within 24 hours I couldn't get out of bed, felt like my head had been hit with a baseball bat and had suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. Feeling totally alien, I hoped the feeling might fade but when it didn't I sought advice from the GP again and was eventually persuaded to take a second drug to "fix" things. This was Sertraline and I was taken up from 0-100mg over three months and back down again the reverse way for the next three months when it had become clear it wasn't helping. Knowing what I do now I cant believe the speed at which this all happened and like many others, before I realised what was happening it was too late. It's now 19 months since I have taken anything yet I feel worse and worse. The main symptoms are anhedonia, depression, depersonalisation, suicidal ideation and PSSD. I also have numb head, teeth and arms. My instinct has always been not to take anything again, especially having read that 3 months is the optimum time for reinstatement, but I guess things are pretty bad. If I were to reinstate could there be any benefit at this stage? If so I'm not even sure which of the drugs would be best to re-instate? I felt stunned coming off the first one and then slowly even worse (with PSSD developing) coming off the second. If I decide to simply wait it out and continue to abstain when might I see a turnaround I wonder? Any thoughts much appreciated thanks

DESPERATE: How a normal person lie for antidepressants and was ruined tl;dr: A burned-out normal person thought antidepressants could be performance enhancer so she lied to doc that she was depressed. She was treated as GAD and MDD because she had side effects and reached a point that with drugs she couldn't function. She was eventually honest with her doctor and is in the process of withdrawing. She felt very bad, anxious and sleepless because of the withdrawal symptoms, and deeply desperate and regretful. She has realized that she has made terrible mistakes and is guilty. She needs hope/support/encouragement that taking time she will be back to normal. From 2020 to 2021/05 I was a workaholic and didn't have a schedule at all. I just woke up and drank coffee, forced myself to work, and sleep at the point I could not work anymore, ate at the point I felt hungry. So going to bed in the morning and having lunch at 3 am was normal for me at that year. I feel so regretful, I thought I was young and healthy, so I should work as hard as I could regardless of my health. So after a year self burning, I was completely retarded. I couldn't sleep anymore. My heart was pounding when I tried to sleep, and it took me hours to fall asleep. However, besides the sleep problem, I was functioning normally. I still finished work and hung out with my friends. Just my sleep was completely ruined, which is not surprising given a year's messed up. However, even at that point, I was still thinking about performance enhancements. If I was a little bit reasonable, I should pick an antidepressant that helps with sleep, a calmer one. But I was so crazy, I picked venlafaxine which is known for activating and notorious for increasing heart rate and worsening sleep. I don't know what was wrong with me at that point, maybe I was confused by the devil, I neglected all of the venlafaxine's side effects. I must have read about its side effects somewhere but my mind refused to accept or believe it. So I went to a walk-in clinic, and lie to the doctor that I had venlafaxine before, and I had a generalized anxiety disorder. The doctor believed me and started treating me as GAD. As I said, venlafaxine has notorious side effects that will make heart racing and worsen sleep. I didn't realize that, and the doctor ironically didn't realize that either. After taking venlafaxine, I had more and more frequent heart racing and worse sleep. The doctor thought it was my GAD got worse, and he increased the dosage of A and benzo for sleep, which only made things worse. Eventually he gave me rexulti, the antipsychotic. Ironically my racing heart recovered after having rexulti. I was so happy, I thought I was cured. So I went back to work. However my sleep was so bad that I always felt tired. So I saw a psychiatrist, and told her about the sleep problem and of course the lie about having GAD. She prescripted me mirtazapine 30mg before bedtime. I stopped mirtazapine in November because it made me gain 30 lbs. So from August to December(November) I was on 225mg of venlafaxine and 30mg of mirtazapine. I was so fatigued everyday but forced myself to work because I wanted to achieve something. It was so dark during these months. My neurosystem and brain have already been messed up by so many drugs, but I believed I was fine and cured and stable, and of course, I was not. My only mental support was a promise with my friend that after December we would go on a trip, a long relaxing trip. Every time I felt burned out I told myself, hold onto it; there is a trip waiting for you. And devastating thing happened: My friend went back to her home country in December and January. I didn't realize it until my work was done. I suddenly realized that the trip was gone. I lost the only hope and good thing which kept me going and not falling apart for months. My mental health was totally destroyed at that point. I shouldn't be so desperate and burned out, but after months of abusive use of drugs my brain and neuro system were completely messed up. I would say, if I didn't take these antidepressants for months I wouldn't have that mental meltdown in December. I was sent to the emergency in December. There they gave me more benzos, and the psychiatrist increased my venlafaxine from 225mg to 300mg. He also gave me another antidepressant bupropion. bupropion was another super activating drug, and wasn't helping my mental health at all. My mental health issue got better after spending time with my other friends, and bupropion caused a lot of panic attacks, sleep problems and racing hearts. How do I know they are directly caused by bupropion? because these symptoms went away after I cold turkeyed bupropion. That was a point when I realized psychiatrists are not so reliable: The psychiatrist who gave me bupropion insisted that my anxiety, panic attacks , racing heart and worsen sleep were caused by my worsen GAD, because according to their "guildline", bupropion is supposed to help with anxiety. However this time I know for sure bupropion was causing these problems because they went away after I stopped bupropion for a short amount of days. Also my sleep got worse and worse in 2022. I could only slept for a few hours, and the sleep was bad, it didn't recharge me. I was just a dead body walking. Yea I was working **** hard and that was just by my strong spirit. I was so tired these days and it was abnormal tiredness, more like restlessness. I was so so so tired, but I couldn't nap. My heart was pounding so loudly whenever I tried to nap. And of course my heart was pounding at bedtime, and my doctor just gave me more benzo, what a shame! Remind you that by May 2022 I have been taking venlafaxine for a year on a high dosage, and venlafaxine is a strong activator and is notorious for raising heart beat and causing anxiety even for really depressed ppl. I, a healthy person, have been on it for a year, and by May 2022 I have almost reached my limit. Finally my family doctor suspected that venlafaxine is not suitable for me. So he switched me to escitalopram. So in June, July and August I was taking escitalopram. My sleep was still bad, and I became even more tired during the day. And I had brain fog all the time, ironically I was still taking driving lessons. It's so dangerous for me to drive and I know it. I failed tests for other reasons, and now I realize they might be a warning from god. Test center ppl didn't know I was dangerous driving, but they still failed me. This must be a sign from god, warning me that I am on the wrong path. Brain fog, fatigue, bad sleep, my family doctor thought it was my depression that went worse. So he increased the dosage of D to 20mg(the max) and rexulti to 3mg. By the end of July, my work became intense. I was fatigued and foggy, but I have to work. I worked **** hard again under tons of pressure, with a foggy brain and fatigue. That week was so bad that I had really bad headache. I guess I was really on the edge of falling apart by then. The week after that I had the worst panic attack and sleeplessness. I lost my sleep completely, I became so fatigued that I couldn't function in the day. If in July the fatigue and fog were something I could still live with, by the end of August that became something that I couldn't live with because I couldn't function at all. went to the emergency again, and they gave me Seroquel, another antipsychotic. This is the med that kept me sleeping all day in September. But no one told me that. I figured it out after I stopped it. Oh I wasn't working since August because I cannot. And brain fog is making me crazy. I didn't have the fog when I was on venlafaxine, so I switched back to venlafaxine. The fog went away, but my racing heart and bad sleep came back. When I was standing , my heart rate was 120. So my family doctor switched me to trintellix, the one I.am taking and tapering right now. After switching to trintellix my heart rate became normal again. But still I was so fatigue and sometimes foggy. I wasn't able to sit still and watch a movie even. I began to realize something was wrong. For the first time, I was honest to my doctor and everyone around me. I told them at the beginning there was nothing wrong with me, I lied for antidepressants just for enhancing performance. My doctor cold turkeryed rexulti and Seroquel six weeks ago and I am still suffering from its withdrawal symptoms: bad sleep, anxiety, brain fog. This week my doctor asked me to taper trintellix. I have been taking 5 mg for three days and could feel the anxiety is worsen, so is my sleep. But at this point I really don't care about my feeling anymore. I just want these poison to get out of body ASAP and give my body time to recover back to normal. I was so regretful that I lied, I was stupid and greedy. I am in desperate everyday that there has been permanent damage to my brain and I will never become a normal person again. PLEASE give me some support/encouragement/hope that I will be back to normal. PLEASE feel free to blame me for being so stupid. I feel lonely, helpless and desperate.

Hi everyone, please bear with me, I am suffering a lot 😔 So I was diagnosed with MDD and prescribed Mirtazipine at an initial dose of 15mg for one week, then went up to 30mg. All was great for about three months, then the side-effects started… I decided to cut my dose in half, after trying to contact my psychiatrist and having him advise me to do this through the nurse on the phone 🤯 One week on I woke up with the worst symptoms and got taken to the ER. I later received a positive COVID test, so decided this was what it was. I now believe it was not COVID; I was in withdrawal with no clue. I began getting heart palpitations at around that time and they were there all throughout the day. So I made the decision to give up the drug completely CT (on the advice of another GP). Two weeks on from that and I am struggling BIG-TIME. Have just made up my first batch of medicine for reinstatement. Would 1mg be enough, as I am obviously highly sensitive and it has been quite a long time since I stopped. What do the moderators think of this please? I want to feel some relief of my overwhelming nausea and insomnia soon!

Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.

Hi everyone I am trying to navigate through this new group. I am not doing well. Lol I am 53 . Was in great health before taking an antidepressant. I have been struggling since 09/2020. I have been searching for help. I have a list of issues since I Went off all antidepressants. I am wondering if anyone has had issues with no reflexes ? Such as gag, cough, or blink? Or not being able to feel pain?

After three years of sobriety from alcohol, I had a two day relapse of moderate/minimal drinking. This may have started my minor “kindled” withdrawal, that slowly deteriorated my sleep. A month later I was at the hospital because I hadn’t slept in days, was extremely anxious, and had a tremor that I wanted to check out. I ended up being given Zyprexa/Olanzapine 5mg and sent home to eventually see my psychiatrist. Days later my psychiatrist saw me and I went down to 2.5mg after being on 5 for 3 days. Took 2.5mg for 2 weeks, 1.75 for one, then stopped. Two weeks later took 2.5mg again after insomnia for 1.5 weeks slowly dosing down again to 1.75, then stopped. At the same time I started taking Mirtazapine, which helped for sleep and got me “off” olanzapine. A month later I’m struggling with sleep still, 4-5 hours a night, extremely fragmented. Not sure if this is the Zyprexa/Olanzapine WD, or Mirtazapine causing this. I DO NOT want to take Olanzapine again, really no matter what, wondering how I should go about my Mirtazapine treatment? I’m still relatively new to these drugs, been on Mirtazapine for 7 weeks, however I know if I come off this drug I won’t be able to sleep, and risk having an episode that leads me to ER and back on Olanzapine. Not sure what to do… Olanzapine: 5mg 3 days 2.5mg 2 weeks, two week break, 1 weeks 2.5, 1 week 1.75mg. mirtazapine: 22.5 mg current. started m: 7.5mg for 2 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 22.5mg 3 weeks.

Hi Guys. I have been on every SSRI over the past 2 years, apart from Paroxetine. This all started from some situational anxiety at work. Each time i took a medication i was on them for about 3 month without any benefit at all. I would loose time at work, cold turkey and return back to work. Each time i did this i was getting worse and worse. I would then return back to the doctor and ve started on something else. This has basically gone on for 2 years. All this time i have got worse. I have now come to understand withdrawal and the fact i could have well been prescribed numerous medications due to an illness been mistaken for withdrawal. 8 weeks ago after stopping my second attempt of Escitalopram for 3 months i decided to stop for good with a fast taper. I feel anxious, dizzy, fatigued, poor cognition and inability to focus. I know if i take a dose of SSRI that this will improve however i will return to the Zombie state of meds. I am finished with medication!!! On reflection my problems i encountered prior to any medication was far easier than the problems i have had the past 2 years on medications. I think i have been a victim of Psychiatry! I dont think i ever needed medication! My chemical imbalance was created by meds! If i had no knowledge of this i would be stuck in Psychiatry! I just want to know ppls experiences and can i still be in withdrawal at 8 weeks after 2 years of messing about with meds. Thanks Lee

Hi everyone I’m new here. Would just like don’t advice about Abilify 10mg and Mirtazapine 30mg. I have been on this combo for a month and I had a psychotic episode 6 months ago. I was wondering when would be a good time to start tapering off them especially the Mirtazapine as I am not particularly depressed. Will crushing these meds and weighing them at 10% decreases per month be adequate when I go to do it? Thanks HopefulSam

Hello all. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. My signature is at the bottom. In January of 2020 got tinnitus in my right ear which sent me down a path of no sleep and anxiety. Put on ambien, lunesta, klonopin, and some other drugs and then put on remeron while tapering klonopin for sleep. I am 8 months post klonopin jump (around 0.042 mg) via homebrew taper (as well as I could measure). Still recovering from the klonopin and wanted to pursue tapering remeron. The max I have taken of remeron is 7.5 mg. I have been struggling with tapering and not sure if my symptoms are klonopin related or remeron or both. Most of my symptoms are head related (tingling, ringing, etc.) and some tingling and burning of the body and the incredible appetite. I have been trying to stabilize at my cut to 5.5 mg which was around a week ago and feel horrible. As most know the Challege with dry cutting with a scale is my pills all weigh differently and I try to weigh and maintain a constant dose and it is hard. I got my PCP to do a compound script, but the compounding pharmacy only does 10 mg / 1 ml formulations (the others I spoke with did not even reference formulations but referenced teaspoons) so I went with that. What I am trying to do is do a split to transition to the liquid. I.e., day 1... 4 mg pill + 1.5 ml (1.5 mg) liquid, etc. and spend about a week transitioning. I feel horrible all the time. My cns is damaged from the klonopin (when I came off it was terrible) and still do not feel very stable. I struggle with staying on the remeron longer to heal from the klonopin but have this feeling that I am not healing from that due to the remeron and want off all drugs. (Only remeron, allegra, and astepro nasal spray) Part of me wants to jump but very scared of that. I just feel like I am in acute w/d all the time...no windows and cannot figure out how to stabilize. Appreciate any feedback or guidance. Thanks, Seeking 8/20 .5 mg K 9/20 K to 0.25 mg 3x day C/T K 10/20 per Dr. .5 mg K on 10/20 Cut K to .113 mg 12/20 - .62mg 1/31/21 on .5 mg 2/8 - .25 night, .25 day 2/27 - .41 mg 3/7 - Held K & - tapered 3mg Lunesta for 4 weeks 4/4 - K resume - 5% cut/hold .39 mg 4/11 - Dry DMT .001g daily 5/8 - .28 mg - remeron for sleep 6/5 - .23 mg 6/6 - Held 7/10 - .19 mg 8/7 - .15 mg 9/4 - .12 mg 9/19 - .12 via milk titration 10/15 - 0.098 mg 11/4 - 0.080 mg 11/27 - 0.068 mg 12/4 - 0.062 mg 12/25 - 0.053 mg 1/6 - 0.050 mg 1/22 - 0.0425 mg 1/23 - JUMPED 4/15 - taper Remeron 10% 4/22 - 10% more 4/27 - to quick went back to 7.5 mg 5/2 - trying a 5% drop - 7.125 estimated mg 9/9 - Currently at 5.5 mg

Hi I've been on lexapro (escitalopram) for over 10 years. About 3 years ago the 5mg I was taking stopped working. I took this for GAD. Over time it has been increased to 20mg and mirtazapine 45mg was added in. I've since also been diagnosed with OCD. Unfortunately things haven't really improved and I'm struggling daily with my mental health. I've reduced the lexapro to 15mg 4 days ago and have been feeling dizzy, clammy and more anxious. Does anyone have any experience of this reduction and how long symptoms last? I've been on the 20mg dose for 5 months. My gp wants me to add buspirone 5mg but I wanted to be on a lower dose of the escitalopram 1st as I'm worried about serotonin syndrome

Hello, Thanks for adding me. I seek help/advice on how to proceed with my current situation. Around 52 months ago, I had an adverse/kindling reaction to a benzodiazepine. I acquired 100s of symptoms for that, which I still deal with. However, about a year off the benzodiazepine, in desperation, I went inpatient and was put on Seroquel and mirtazapine. I only stayed on the seroquel for a week and then stopped, but I have been on the mirtazapine since. About a year or so of being on mirtazapine, I started to taper because my intuition was telling me I needed to be drug-free to heal. I tapered from 15mg to around 8mg in about six months. I had 100s of symptoms during this time, and I don't know if it was still from the benzodiazepine, the mirtazapine taper, or a combination. When I got down to 7mg, I held for a year and a half, hoping to stabilize, but it never happened. I then tapered from 7mg down to 5.5mg. At 5.5mg, I was so desperate that I decided to try cold turkey to see what would happen. Within two days, I had severe pacing akathisia. My akathisia before going on mirtazapine was internal/mental. To this day, I don't know if the mirtazapine cold turkey was the cause of the akathisia or if the anti-psychotic trials in the psych ward caused it. I ended up reinstating mirtazapine after four days of pacing akathisia and returned to how I was previously. I did another long hold (1 year) at 5.5mg and then recently went down to 4.75mg by doing a daily micro taper. I don't know how to approach coming off the rest right now. I am experiencing interdose withdrawals. If I don't take Remeron for just one night, I have restless legs and histamine symptoms the next day. About 12 hours after taking the mirtazapine, my brain produces symptoms like clockwork. The symptoms I have now are not the same ones I had the first 1-3 years off benzodiazepines, so I am dealing with a mirtazapine withdrawal/adverse reactions, which are worse due to a sensitized system from the benzodiazepine cold turkey. I want to be very clear that I was never stable after the benzodiazepine cold turkey, and I know that I need to be drug-free. What should one do when unstable (and never will be), and how do they approach tapering when polydrugged? I understand the concept of slow tapering for stable people, but that does not work in my case. So I am stuck in a dilemma and have been for a while now. I plan on making a significant cut instead of microtapering every day and seeing how it affects me. If I develop pacing akathisia, I probably went too fast. I don't want to taper this drug for years when I am unstable. Is anyone in a similar situation that can relate, and how did you approach it? Thanks for your time