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I was on Celexa 20 mg. for 10 months in 2015 for generalized anxiety disorder and mild/moderate depression, which hit me suddenly at age 65. Felt good enough to taper off over 32 weeks with no withdrawal problems, but 6 months after last dose, symptoms of anxiety and depression were back with a vengeance. Started Zoloft 25 mg in 2017 (probably should have gone back to Celexa). Increased dose to 50 mg within 4 months. Didn't like the way it was/wasn't working and didn't want to increase the dose. I'm really fearful of what these drugs can do. Tapered down to 12.5 mg over 19 months by 3.125 mg increments. Felt good until I hit 12.5 mg, then felt terrible and had to go back to 25 mg in August, 2019. Admittedly, I wasn't consistent in the tapering intervals. Some were 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 weeks, etc. depending on how I felt at each dose. I have been with a CBT therapist since 2017 which has really helped. Anxiety practically gone, depression is mild, but not like before. I really want to be off the Zoloft. Haven't slept well in 4 years and worry about what it's doing to my sleep patterns and who knows what else. I take supplements to help - phosphatidylserine, magnesium, omega fish oil. So.....I am now tapering again. Went from 25 mg to 21.875 over 10 weeks (decrease of 3.125 mg because that's the easiest way to cut my pills into quarters and eighths.) Just reduced again to 18.75 on April 14 and plan to stay there for 10 weeks. (My theory is it can take 4-12 weeks for an INCREASE in the dose to start working, so the reverse could also be true.) I think I'm sensitive to small changes in the doses. My question is - is 3.125 mg too large of a taper? I can slice my pills smaller with a scalpel if need be. Looking for advice about how to make this taper work so I can be successful this time. Any recommendations for doses and time line would be helpful. I don't care how long it takes, although at age 71, I don't want to take forever! Thanks so much!

Hey there, I'll try to make my intro a bit shorter but its still kind of long. Was put on Effexor 150 XR at age 15 due to anxiety and depression (my mother is narcissistic and I developed a lot of self hatred from it. Older brother is also bipolar and made my life hell). Took that med until I was 28 (13 years). Worked with a nurse practitioner (for psych meds specifically) who tapered me off over the course of 2.5 months (waaaay too fast) by taking the little beads out of the capsules. My meds pooped out and I didnt feel I needed them anymore. Did great for 3 months, then my anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks, followed by depression. Insomnia due to anxiety, no appetite, emotional shutdown. Was put back on 75 mg and then raised to 150mg again, but since I had seen how vibrant I was without these drugs, I hated being on them. After moving across the country I asked my new doctor to move me down to 75 mg. I felt less flat but the anxiety was bad. Moved back up to 112.5 mg, but felt "meh" about everything. Tried Pristiq 25 mg for 2 weeks and was moved to 50 mg. 5 weeks in I had a horrible reaction-- anxiety, depersonalization, sweating, diarrhea. I didnt feel real. I told my doctor to lower me. Tried 25mg for 6 weeks. Still had diarrhea and apathy at 25mg. Was moved to Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks. I told my doctor I wanted to stay at 25 mg zoloft because I didnt want to become an over-medicated zombie. She said 25 mg wasnt a high enough dose to treat me, and I trusted her more than myself so I increased. After 3 weeks was moved to 50 mg. After 3 days on 50 mg I started being really spacey, dizzy, feeling like I was in a dream. Had insomnia. I would feel better every day as the med wore off closer to my dosing time. Felt like I wasnt real and didnt care about anything. My doctor said to wait until 5 weeks to see if my symptoms improved. I said no and told her to lower me to 25 mg. Stomach was still so bad after the debacle with the Pristiq that I had dropped 17 lbs at this point and needed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, where they found nothing was wrong. 1 week after reducing to 25 mg Zoloft my stomach started improving. It wasnt a slow taper, she just had me half my tablet. I've been on Zoloft (Sertraline) 25 mg for 18 days as of writing this. Throughout my journey I've been moved up and down doses of Effexor every 2-3 months, I got to experience effexor withdrawal and new side effects from the pristiq at the same time, and I got to experience pristiq withdrawal and zoloft side effects at the same time. I'm currently having headaches, dizziness, apathy, and some sexual issues. Stomach is better but not 100% yet. Have pressure in my head a lot of the time. It feels like my head has cotton in it. I'm in therapy finally dealing with my abandonment issues from my mother's narcissism. This whole thing has been a huge lesson in trusting myself. A big part of me is scared that I've ***** up my brain, and that the apathy wont ever go away. I feel like I've made a big mistake. My partner has said that over the past few weeks I seem more myself, but I don't see it at all. I've begun doing some more things I enjoy, but a lot of the time I'm not enjoying them very deeply. A lot of the time I just want to be left alone. I guess I just want some support, since I'm so scared. How did I even get here? I just wanted to be happy. tldr: couldnt handle 50mg Zoloft, currently on 25mg for 18 days. Brain is effectively a scrambled egg. Timeline: Effexor 150mg XR 13 years, came off over 2 months, 3 months off. "Relapse" and put back on 75 mg, then 50. Lowered back down to 75 for 2 months, then raised to 112.5 for 2 months. Pristiq 25mg for 2 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks. Back to 25 mg for 6 weeks. Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks, now back to 25 mg for 18 days.

Hi everyone. I'm a 30 year old warehouse worker. I have a degree in broadcasting which I was never able to find work in. The warehouse work does get me exercise though which is kind of a natural antidepressant. Anyway, I've been off Zoloft for a little over a year. From time to time, I still feel really dizzy, have a headache and other symptoms I'm sure I'm missing. How long is protracted withdrawal syndrome? I'd like to know, but good to meet everyone.

Hi. I am on this site looking for tips for staying steady while gradually tapering off Zoloft. I'm so grateful for all the info here. I have been on it for 16 years, and although it improved my life a million per cent, I want to see how things are without it. I am in my mid-50s and my life is more stable and healthy than it has ever been. Maybe I can live without the SSRIs. If I can't, it's OK, I will stay on them. But I want to try to go off.

So may of 2022 I started my SSRI journey I had bad anxiety and my doctor recommended I take Zoloft. I listened and started with a low dose I completely forget what dose I took but I know I had a terrible reaction to it I lasted like 2 months and then got switched to lexapro. Once I was in lexapro I went from 2.5mg to 10mg wayyyy to fast my psychiatrist was terrible and I got so so many side effects from 10mg so she had me taper off within a month from 10mg-0mg and I had every side effect in the book, you name it I had it. (Brain Zaps were the worst). She then switched me to buspar 5mg 3 times a day and man I could only last 9 days on it. It gave such bad intrusive thoughts it was scary. So I decided to get back on lexapro in January of 2023 and go super slow like start with 2.5 mg and I knew I was sensitive because 2.5 gave me side effects so I started slowly upping my dose and the intrusive thoughts got worse, blurry vision, urge to cry daily, dizzy, and after about 5 months in it I became numb. Nothing would give me anxiety but also nothing would give me excitement. So I started tapering very very slow I went from 5mg to 2.5mg to 1.25mg and then 1.25mg every other day and it was definitely a better taper from last time because I got no brain zaps so far. So currently I’m almost 4 weeks in off of lexapro and man this is hard. I’ve technically been on meds for 1 year just not consistently so I do understand that it will take awhile to heal but man these side effects are weird. I don’t feel happy but I don’t feel sad it is such a weird feeling. I have days where I feel amazing like back to normal and then the next day sucks. Just feels like my motivation is low right now and excitement, I thought that would come back after almost 4 weeks off the pill. Another big thing is the insomnia it is so hard to stay asleep at night. It’s like I have an urge to cry but can’t. just wanted to know if these side effects are common with someone who’s been on ssris for a year

Dear withdrawees ... I hope i find you all well... Or at least amidst a window rather than a wave . I've been scouring SA for some time now, picking up whatever bits of helpful and positive information i can about this horrific ordeal. I now feel its time to introduce myself and my history on AD's to the community with the hope of being provided with additional support and a view helping others in the future when this experience is more of a bad memory rather than a living hell . I have been taking Sertraline on and off for the last 6 years since 2013 after a series of horrific circumstances happened one after another. Despite the drugs having good effect, I've always been uncomfortable with masking what are obviously important emotions using a daily consumption of a drug. This has led me to unwittingly withdraw multiple times across the 6 year period which lead me to believe i was confined to a life of drug taking, this was until June this year when I first found SA and became aware of SSRI withdrawal . Of course I was left somewhat shocked but not surprised after feeling neglected previously on multiple occasions by the medical sector. Despite that though i found a new sense of hope knowing that a life beyond drugs was not only possible, but likely. Recent Drug History OCT 2016 - I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement had turned my life upside down .. as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. MAY 2017- After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit) I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief. FEB 2019 - Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT. JUN 2019 - I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way. NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING MY SYMPTOMS: A thick brain fog Anxiety an inability to feel emotions / make connections with people Loss of communication skills & wit muscle weakness Fatigue As I've said previously.... i am currently at the 9 month mark and I'm coping okay (I Think🤔 ) when i compare my battles to that of others.. but i am beginning to really struggle with the isolation that seems to be a natural part of the process. I have always naturally been an extroverted person who loves talking to people and being at the centre of attention although currently this couldn't be further from the truth and is taking a huge toll on my daily life. Every time I am confronted with some form of social situation my brain draws a blank. Its as if the lights are on but nobody's home. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARM AND CHARISMA? I wanted to ask for advice from anyone whose been in a similar situation: What can i do right here and now to aid myself when dealing with these symptoms? If you've surpassed the 9 month point of withdrawal with these symptoms still rearing their ugly head, at what stage did you notice a marked improvement? Has anyone any advice on how to work towards improving other areas of my life, such as love or working life and learning new skills whilst withdrawing? If you've made it this far thanks for reading and i look forward to any replies? Cheers

Hi, everyone. I just found this forum last night via links on Mad In The UK and Let's Talk Withdrawal. I've recently begun tapering sertraline after 10 years of use, and I hope that it will be mutually helpful for myself and others if I share my experiences here. I'll try to summarize my personal mental health history with whatever information I think might be relevant. I've had depression, anxiety, and OCD-like symptoms beginning in childhood, possibly exacerbated by personal/family trauma. I saw my first therapist at age 7-8 when my parents divorced, and have been in and out of therapy for other reasons since about 14. Depression became severe around age 15, along with some disordered eating behaviors (I wasn't formally diagnosed with an ED until my 20s, but from the age of 16 onward was treated as though I had one--actually, I found my way here because this article resonated with some of my experiences in treatment and being pathologized). Many of the therapists I saw in my teens and twenties advised me to begin medication and would bring it up repeatedly against my wishes at the time. After my second year in college, my mental health became significantly worse and I had trust issues with my therapist at the time, who continued to insist that I needed medication and/or some form of institutional treatment. In 2008 I avoided being hospitalized for an eating disorder by cutting off contact with that therapist, but my GP diagnosed anorexia nervosa and prescribed sertraline because it was supposed to help with compulsive behaviors such as disordered eating and OCD. At the time, I did not get the prescription filled. After I left college in 2009, my depression fluctuated but I had more severe anxiety than in the past. By 2012 I was having anxiety attacks almost every day that were interfering with my work and daily life. Doctor again prescribed sertraline, and I started taking it as a "last resort" because I felt suicidal and that I had nothing left to lose by trying it. I started at 50 mg and experienced some relief from the physical symptoms of anxiety, but I still worried constantly and had varying levels of depression. It also did absolutely nothing for OCD. :') After a few years on the sertraline, I felt that it wasn't working or wasn't necessary, and I also suspected that I might have some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence that was being covered up by the depression/anxiety/ED diagnoses. Around 2017 I began seeing a therapist at a practice that also required meeting with a psychiatrist every few months as a condition of continuing treatment. Said psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD and possible autism spectrum traits but did not prescribe anything for the ADHD; instead, he recommended increasing my dosage of sertraline from 50 to 75 and then to 100 mg a few months later. He also prescribed hydroxyzine PRN for anxiety attacks. Once again, any benefit of increasing the sertraline dosage was temporary or negligible/nonexistent. (The hydroxyzine seems to work by virtue of being a sedative, if nothing else.) Starting around 2018-2019, I began having more acute depressive episodes that seemed to worsen with hormonal fluctuations; it was as though my SSRI "stopped working" for a few days/weeks every month and I experienced symptoms that were easily as bad as the withdrawal symptoms I got from skipping or missing a dose. For a while (2019-2020) I also had what I thought were moderate hypomanic episodes lasting a few weeks at a time, although this might have been how I interpreted having a more normative level of executive functioning/mood regulation as opposed to feeling fatigued and depressed as a baseline. ADHD and OCD-like symptoms also got progressively worse. In 2020 I asked my GP about ADHD treatment, and was prescribed Adderall (10 mg, increased to 15 mg later on). This was also around the time I decided to start tapering the sertraline. I went from 100 to 75 mg in 2021 without noticing much of a difference, but had severe depression/withdrawal effects at 50 mg and so remained at 75 for about a year. The hormonal exacerbation also got significantly worse--suicidal ideation, self harming behavior, increased anxiety, and paranoid/irrational/obsessive thoughts--to the point that I thought I might be having psychotic episodes. (I have a late maternal uncle who developed schizophrenia after recreational hallucinogen use, so there is some family history of being at risk.) In late August or early September of this year, I decided to resume tapering after missing a dose between refills; since I was already having withdrawal symptoms, I started taking 50 mg after my refill and just left it at that. My current therapist referred me to another psychiatric practice to discuss medication management. During the appointment last week, they recommended tapering the sertraline from 50 to 25 for two weeks, and then to 12.5 before stopping entirely. However, they also prescribed a different SSRI (Luvox), which I do not want to take at all, as well as switching my ADHD medication from Adderall to Vyvanse. I'm not too concerned with the ADHD drugs right now; I think it might be easier to evaluate whether or not they're worth continuing after I get off the sertraline, but I don't know how to explain to my therapist and/or other health care providers that I don't want to start a different SSRI, without being seen as non-compliant. tl;dr, as of this week I've gone from 50 to 25 mg on sertraline and I'm feeling pretty depressed/paranoid/anxious, but I think it's manageable if there's a possibility of it getting better after this. Sorry if any of the above is rambling or otherwise unclear. I'm still lurking on the rest of the forum while posting this, so please let me know if I've made any mistakes or left anything out. Thank you.

Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.

Link to intro thread Hey all! Been meaning to write this for a little while now but just haven't had the time. But I knew I was always going to write a 'success story' as those were the ones that kept me going!! I HAVE BEEN OFF MEDS FOR 2 YEARS & 3 MONTHS!! I'm 31, female, I was on SSRI's for a total of 5 years, mostly Fluox, then sertraline, then citalopram before my doctor removed me from meds cold turkey, he said I would have no ill effects from stopping this way either!! So I'm going to list my main withdrawal symptoms, what helped me through withdrawal and any other bits of info like when i felt the worst waves etc! Symptoms: -Daily crying -anxiety -panic -depression -dizziness -skin itching -tremors -muscle weakness -visual issues -heartburn -gut issues -heart palpitations -insomnia -suicidal -weight loss -cramp in legs -full body stabbing/zaps -backache -headaches -TMJ -brain fog -unsteady on feet -lethargy -muscle weakness -hair loss -joint pain Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head, but there will definitely be more! I noticed my 'windows' were very sparse until I passed the 12 month mark and after that I'd eventually get more and more windows. Before the 12 month mark, my windows were only short and usually on evenings. I had the most severe withdrawal symptoms between months 6-11, which I've read lots of people suffer more at that stage too. I also in this withdrawal period took Cipro, and my symptoms worsened after taking that so I do believe I was 'floxed' too. The things that helped me get through a cold turkey withdrawal: (there aren't many!) -Reading the success stories on this website (constantly!) -Meditation daily -Baylissa's book -The Lovely Grind youtube videos -Drew Linsalata podcast (the anxious truth) -My partner! (most definitely the reason I'm still here and off those meds!) I have been blessed to have a supportive partner throughout this process who fully supported me and believed I would make it out of the other side. He is my absolute angel! Between my sheer grit and determination and his supportive words I have done it! The only issue I've had since stopping the SSRI's is that I'm now in early menopause. I'm only 31 so it is very unusual. The doctors can't work out why I'm in the early menopause, my ovaries 'look' fine so they think it's more to do with my brain producing the hormones and my pituitary gland. So I believe that the medication and my withdrawal has caused my hormones to completely deplete by altering something in my brain. I'm now on HRT and feeling much better since being on it. I was hoping I wouldn't have any long term effects from taking these meds but it seems I do sadly. For anyone reading this, IT CAN BE DONE! I'm now over 2 years CLEAN and I feel SO MUCH BETTER that I don't have to rely on those tablets and have the ongoing side effects from them! KEEP GOING!!! If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and i'll respond as soon as I can! 🙂 Love Jade x

Greetings everyone! I'm hoping for some advice from my fellow members. I've been on Zoloft (50 mg) for 20+ years for depression. I tried getting off Zoloft twice during the past 5 years due to zombification (I was no longer crying or laughing) but both times experienced brain zaps and severe depression during the taper. (As an aside, my primary care physician, who knew I was tapering, told me to undergo a brain MRI because of the brain zaps. Neither of us realized the brain zaps were from the SSRI discontinuation.) Ten months ago, I decided to try to get off the poison once again. I've been tapering more slowly and am now down to ~10 mg/day but am feeling depressed again. No brain zaps this time. I take magnesium, fish oil, Vitamins B, C, and D. A week or so ago I started taking 5-HTP 100 mg at night to help boost my serotonin level now that I'm on a very low dose of Zoloft. Unfortunately, I'm now also experiencing acute anxiety, which I've never had before. Has anyone else experienced new onset anxiety either during SSRI withdrawal or from 5-HTP? I'm determined to succeed this time but am struggling immensely with crippling anxiety. I'm looking forward to death. Any help, including supplement or diet recommendation, would be greatly appreciated.

Hi guys this is gonna be a ton I apologize but Im afraid I've ruined my life and am in desperate need of help both physically and mentally. ABOUT ME I am an 18 year old girl from the Bay Area in California and I have a lovely boyfriend and family who are trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression/DP/DR ever since I was ten, coming in episodes, with it not being extremely debilitating until Covid lockdown hit. As of now my current diagnosis are MDD and GAD (which was only recently diagnosed in the psych ward and am pretty sure it came on due to withdrawal symptoms). Starting meds I started Zoloft early April 2021 and I would say at the time it definitely helped me sink out of a depression. It definitely worked in all senses for a while but I think I felt so good on it that I thought increasing the dose would make me feel even better. Eventually I was on 200 mg by October 2021 (probably earlier) which was the stupidest decision I've ever made. I was in such a "fog" on this medication and didn't bother to do any research but its too late now. It eventually killed my motivation so I began going down at some point I wish I could remember when. But I do know the reason I decided to stop it all together was because I realized how "blunted" my emotions became and I wanted to feel more intense emotions for my boyfriend, and my mental health slowly started declining due to how horrible I was doing in school. All of these memories are foggy to me but I believe I started tapering some point in 2022 and at some point I thought I was okay enough to just stop in the middle of tapering before my trip to the UK in mid-November 2022. Downfall I thought I was okay for a few weeks after stopping but everything took a turn for the worst. I was sobbing everytime my boyfriend had to leave and would break down into tears at the smallest things. But then some days I would simply feel nothing at all and started to feel extremely disconnected from myself and reality(DP/DR). I thought these feelings would go away with time but **** the fan when I had an anxiety attack on Dec 20 and then another one on Dec 24. Never in my life had I experienced anything like those. After that I basically went two days without eating. I was bed-bound and horribly anxious, shaky, believed I was going to die, and terribly depressed. I couldn't concentrate on anything, had horrible suicidal thoughts and I thought I was going insane. I think I was given a weeks dose of Ativan around this time for sleep which helped but I reinstated Zoloft then (probably 25 mg) and found myself feeling better physically and was on for two weeks until I had another anxiety attack and racing suicidal thoughts and got taken to the ER to stabilize myself (given 1 mg Ativan). I was then put on Prozac 20 mg as it was thought that it would be any different than Zoloft. Not sure why I was given this high of a dose but the five days I were on that were hell (severe anxiety, dry heaving, insomnia, suicidal thoughts). I refused to eat and was so concerned about my reaction to this med and my weight loss and especially the suicidal thoughts that I was taken to the ER and stopped Prozac and felt relief then. I stayed in the ER for two days after while they waited to take me inpatient and thats when I was started on Mirtazipine. Things then started looking up for me, although I was horribly depressed and anxious still I started eating and sleeping and was eventually discharged from the hospital around a week later. I was put into an out patient program and felt some relief for about a week. I noticed my racing thoughts were still there and I started to experience intrusive thoughts/dissacociation/anxiety very bad again. I was told to increase my Mirtazipine dose to 30 mg. The next day I woke up suicidal and at this point I was losing it and decided I did not want to give Mirtazipine more of a chance. Since then I've been using Gabapentin (100-200 mg) as needed and CBD oil while weaning off Mirtazipine but noticed that although CBD and Gaba helped anxiety all they did was make me sleepy and feel so completely dysfunctional that I could not even worry anymore. And when those wore off I felt even more depressed than before. I've been trying to stop CBD and Gaba and yesterday and today I have taken none and am currently taking half a 15 mg Mirtazipine pill. Im not sure what to do because I feel so helpless and alone and that I've ruined my life. Of course Im very depressed and anxious but even worse I find it so difficult to hold a conversation with anyone as Im afraid im hypersensitive to everything now. I cant cry, im not eating, Im stuck in horrible negative thought loops, experiencing horrible brain fog, sometimes even forget what Im saying mid sentence and feel it takes to much energy to talk to anyone. Ive been living in fear and am afraid nothing will help me and I honestly feel heartbroken. I dont feel like myself whatsoever and have never felt this disconnected from myself and my emotions. Along with that im finding it so hard to fall asleep and when I wake up I feel horribly anxious (I think its the cortisol morning thing). Im not sure what to do??? My family is here for me and of course my lovely boyfriend but they dont seem to understand and my parents still arent sold on me being off psych drugs but I swear I'll never touch any of those again. But then again I dont know what the best idea is for me at all. I have never felt this confused or heartbroken in my life and Im so afraid I'll never go back to normal. I'm being sent to a residential program in two weeks so hopefully they help me get back to sleeping and eating and I feel like all they'll try and do is force me to take another antidepressant. I know you all can relate to me and know the trauma of experiencing a relapse of your mental health issues along with withdrawal symptoms to go along with that. I have so many questions right now and would love if anyone can give me advice on what to do from this point on as I am feeling stuck in an endless loop of pain I can't get out of. Here are the questions I have and I'd appreciate any advice. -Also not to mention I've been vaping Nicotine consistently for around a year and tried to stop when I stopped Zoloft only to start again due to how horrible this situation is and the stress from it. I know it doesnt help but quitting an addiction along with all these drugs that have been put into my body is difficult. 1. How would I go weaning off of Mirtazipine completely? I have only been taking it for a month and 15 mg for only two weeks so I'm not sure how that would work or if I even should consider going off as it might make things worse. 2. Am I experiencing a relapse in depression or do you think the depression is being caused by withdrawal Ive gone through the past two months? Or maybe both. 3. Should I focus on basic eating/drinking/sleeping for now and try weaning off Mirtazipine when thats more under control? 4. Would going on Zoloft for the third time make a difference? Any kind of advice would help and I am willing to answer any questions about the timeline of medications to the best of my ability and how many I have been on. I think you all are so brave for going through this journey and persisting through and through. Please please help me. -Julia

Hello. I was prescribed klonopin 25 yrs ago. Started to feel ill 5 years ago and started to taper. Made a ton of mistakes and tried meds that were supposed to help but did not. I was at .5mg three times a day Now down to 3/4 of a .5mg pill daily. I'm confused. I feel much worse than before I started to taper but I know updosing did not help. I fear 25 years of use has caused me to be damaged beyond repair. Not sure if in using this site correctly if anyone will see this. Thanks

I've been tapering from 75 mg. zoloft since November, 2010. I was on 75 mg. for only about 6 weeks, I had increased from 50 which I had been taking for 13 years prior. I'd entered menopause, was irritable and anxious...no depression really, so my family doctor shoved some sample zoloft in my hand and said, try this, they are very mild, just like aspirin. Right! He said they were not addictive, very safe. I resisted at first, but then caved and tried it. The first year or two was just great. I was in love with zoloft. But after about two years, I tried to taper because I knew I shouldn't be on it long term and I was once again irritable and anxious. Doc advised fast taper over 4-6 weeks and I fell apart emotionally...crying, depresssed, raging, suicidal. He said my original symptoms returned and that I needed to go back on zoloft. These were not my original symptoms but he was the doc so I did what he advised. Also, my therapist at the time agreed with him. She said I'd have to take it for life. I really respected her because she did help me with a lot of childhood issues. But after a couple more years of no sexual feelings (I was newly married when I went on it), numbness, and overwhelming fatigue, I tried to go off again. I tried going slower on my own, but not slow enough because I ended up the same way as before. Just before I began my taper in Nov. 2010, my pdoc switched me to effexor for a month, did not work, then celexa, did not work, then up go 75 mg. zoloft from the 50 I'd been on for years. Then I began to read online and found information which illuminated the problem. So this attempt to taper is very slow. I'm at 7.5 mg. now. I've been tapering for 18 months at a rate of 10% or previous dose once every 3-6 weeks. But since I hit 10 mg. I've been tapering 5% previous dose. In my mind, I'm going at a snail's pace but still have days when I'm a total mess. Today I'm on day 10 at 7.5 mg. and am overwhelmed with anxious dread. Usually days 7-10 after a taper are the worst. I am losing my resolve. Just don't think I can make it like this for another year or more. More info: I'm retired....could not have worked while doing this. But I am functional. I go out, shop, make meals, travel, and do look forward to some things. Today that is not the case. Today my anxiety and feelings of dread are through the roof. Thankfully, I do have windows or I would have gone back to the doc begging for more drugs. Today, I can not remember any window that i ever had. It feels like i have always felt like this. Sometimes I wonder if my age, (I'm 65) is the reason why this taper is so hard. Maybe I'm too old to stop and will need to go back? Also wondering if the little sliver of zoloft that I am currently taking is really registering in my body. I'm wondering if I should just stop now? I know that 50 mg. zoloft is equal to 20 mg. paxil and some of the other ssri's. The 7.5 I'm on now is equal to 3 mg. of paxil or others like it. Do folks usually ditch at 3 mg. paxil? If I continue to taper the zoloft, I'll be on it for at least another year. And in the coming year, we are likely selling our house and moving to a new city. Ugh!!! I honestly don't think I go through with this type of major change feeling like I feel today. And am wondering if just stopping right now may help? Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.

I had labyrinthectomy surgery late Feb 2023 for Meniere’s disease, and had to relearn balance and also cope with total hearing loss in one ear as well as realizing I could not work anymore and having daily anxiety over my health. Then I had a panic attack 03/19/2023 and went to ER. At the follow up to my ER visit, my PCP prescribed me 50 mg Sertraline and said it would take 6-8 weeks to have an effect. At 6 weeks I started having brain zaps as well as daily diarrhea. I tolerated it for a couple more weeks but asked PCP if I could stop taking it due to these side effects. He directed me to taper off by taking 25 mg a day of Sertraline for 2 weeks then 12.5 mg (half a tablet) for another 2 weeks. Today was the first day of no Sertraline and not only did I have brain zaps while driving, but I had vertigo while sitting at my computer. My ENT removed all the vestibular organs (semi circular canals) from my Meniere's-affected ear in February and told me it was physically impossible for me to have vertigo again after that, so this is very upsetting to me. I mainly want to know if the vertigo (which only lasted about 2-3 seconds unlike a Meniere's vertigo attack which could last 5-10 hours or so), is a side effect of Sertraline withdrawal. Maybe he is tapering me off too fast? I only took it for about 8 weeks. Will the vertigo and brain zaps stop? Thank you.

Hi all, I have heard good things about this website and I’m hoping that it could be a valuable resource to help me make some informed decisions about what to do next after experiencing antidepressant withdrawal symptoms. Sinde July 2022 I have been prescribed SSRIs. My doctor first prescribed me Prozac, which I was on for two months, but I switched to Zoloft due to terrible insomnia caused by Prozac. Since since September 2022, I have been taking Zoloft. My dosage slowly increased to 125 mg. After the anxiety from a period of acute stress in my life subsided, I decided I no longer wanted to take Zoloft. My family doctor is not great, so stupidly, I didn’t consult her and just started to slowly reduce my doseage. A few weeks ago, I finished my last 25mg pills and haven’t renewed my prescription. Since then, I’ve experienced two main symptoms: the infamous brain zap sensation and slurred speech. I’m finding I have to concentrate so hard to speak clearly. I made an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to ask for help. Looking for some guidance here about what to do next. Should I go back on at a low dose of 25mg and taper down with liquid Zoloft from there? Any advice is appreciated.

Was on sertraline for 2 years before starting my taper, currently using the 10% method. Original dose was 59mg, on 24mg now, but I've stopped having "windows" entirely and currently only have "waves" of varying intensity. The physical side effects seem to still be slowly improving, however. Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?

Hi all. Thanks for accepting me on this forum. I was prescribed Sertraline 50mg 6 months ago. At the time I was suffering from an intense bout of SAD and anxiety that spiralled out of control. This was my first time on anti-depressants as I'd resisted in the past and managed to pull myself out using self-help techniques. Sertraline worked within the first two weeks and I remained stable on 50mg per day until recently with no side-effects. I contacted my GP recently as I hit the six month mark and wanted to come off. I only ever approached it as a temporary course of treatment to get me over the hurdle I was at. Just over a week ago I was advised to taper down to 25mg. For the first two days, nothing changed. On the third day, I began to feel a bit irritable, then tired and since then it's been a changing cascade of symptoms, ranging from bouts of low-level anxiety, terrible headaches, dizzyness, loss of appetite, slightly depressive feeling, occasional euphoria and just generally feeling in a fog and unwell, like a really bad hangover. I was told by the pharamacist and GP (and other people who I know that have been on a similar dose/time-frame) that a lower dose of 50mg for a short period (six months) shouldn't produce many withdrawals. I guess I'm here for reassurance and to find out if I'm doing the right thing. I'm terrified of my nervous system or brain being damaged. I can't seem to find many experiences online of people who have suffered these symptoms from simply tapering from 50mg to 25mg after six months, or how long the symptoms persist, and also to find out how I further taper to get off these tablets safely. Most of the experiences of withdrawal I've read are from people coming off completely at the end of a tapering process, rather than what can be experienced en route to that via lowering the dose. My GP advice was a month of 25mg, then stop. But if this is the reaction from a lower dose, I don't feel that's good advice. It's been just over a week now of lowering to 25mg and I'm still feeling unwell. I'm hoping there's someone who can relate and give me reassurance and pointers. Many thanks.

Hello all, I'm here because I'm trying to educate myself about tapering off of Zoloft. I was on Zoloft and Valium for about 15 years and over the past few years, I have completely tapered off the Valium. I have been off the Valium for 11 months now, and while my system has been stable since getting off, I have protracted fatigue and hypersensitivity. I've been making due while I recover, but have recently been learning that coming off of antidepressants can be just as challenging. I spend a good part of my day resting. I'll do small chores around the house. Every Wednesday, I get to babysit my 3 year old niece, which is the highlight of my week! But exerting too much energy or being in stimulating environments leaves me wiped out for a couple of days. I've built my life around these symptoms. Currently I'm studying as an artist from home, I love to read (especially classical literature), and I think I've watched every movie out there at least once. I'm operating on the principle that time will eventually heal me. As for the Zoloft, I am unsure whether I should begin tapering now, or wait until I have recovered from my benzo protracted symptoms. On the one hand, I'd like to get off all these meds and get on with my life; I don't want to recover from the benzo and then have to restrict my life again to come off the antidepressant. On the other hand, it might be more than my system can handle right now to be both recovering from benzo withdrawal and tapering off Zoloft. Any suggestions would be great. I'm glad to be here and I look forward to meeting new people and encouraging one another along our arduous journeys. Best.

I was introduced to antidepressants when I was a junior in college. I had transferred to a school where the sky stayed grey from mid-November to the beginning of April. I would assume my body was in dire need of vitamin D and some b-vitamins. I was twenty, an athlete in college and developed some disordered eating habits. When being treated for mild depression and disordered eating, I was put on Prozac. I took it for a month and then got off of it. I don’t remember why but just chose not to take it. Lots of life happened in between twenty and twenty-six. Right before my twenty-sixth birthday I gave birth to my second child. At my two week follow up appointment, I had an IUD placed. In what seemed like a week, I spiraled into a pretty severe depression. I’m not sure if it was postpartum depression or IUD induced. My doctor started me on 100mg of Zoloft and then pushed it up to 200mg. I was on and off this four years until I became pregnant with my third child in 2012. Upon becoming pregnant, my doctor had me cold turkey my antidepressant. I remember being dizzy and feeling some out-of-body feelings but didn’t ever suffer any lasting or harmful withdrawal symptoms. In 2014 I had my last child and shortly after having her my doctor encouraged me to start an antidepressant for irritability/anxiety. I started taking Lexapro 10mg and my dosage increased to 20mg. Taking the Lexapro did very little if anything for my irritability/anxiety. In 2020, when being treated for endometriosis I was put on a low dose birth control. The low dose birth control is what finally helped my irritability/anxiety. Over the past eight years taking Lexapro I’ve struggled physically with sexual dysfunction, low libido, very low metabolism causing weight gain and an increase in overall body fat. Mentally I feel as though my feelings have been numbed. I could count on one hand the number of times I cried and had tears actually stream down my face. I even feel as if I was able to harden my feelings easier towards people in my life. This is just not the kind of life I am meant to live. My journey to come off antidepressants started in March of 2023. My initial jump from 20mg to 10mg of Lexapro was DIFFICULT. It was about one month of dizziness, out-of-body feeling, flu like symptoms, auditory disturbances, restlessness, irritability, crazy dreams. I gave my body another month or so on 10mg. My jump from 10mg to 5mg seemed fine, and I stayed there for a few weeks. I then went to 5mg every other day for a week or so and then went to 5 mg every three days for a week. I stopped taking antidepressants on May 25th thinking this would be my last dose. I was so very wrong. A few days in the dizziness and tunnel vision started. A week after stopping I developed neuropathy in my hands and feet. It felt like I sunburnt them and then was rubbing icy-hot onto my hands and feet. Shortly after I spiraled mentally. I had crying spells, anxiety attacks waking me up from sleep, nightmares, an overwhelming sense of doom and I didn’t have the mental capacity to communicate with friends or family. I do believe God led me to this page. A light in my darkness and even more…HOPE. The day after I found this page I restarted my lexapro, 2.5mg every other day and thankfully again by the grace of God, it has helped steady me and take away my most difficult symptoms. I was able to go into my doctor, and although she clearly didn’t fully believe me about my symptoms coming off antidepressants (suggesting it could just be the depression), she’s supporting me and prescribed the lexapro liquid. I was hoping to find some help with where to go from here…if I take 2.5mg every other day what would a ten percent decrease look like, and when and for how long? Thank you again for this place where there is so much honestly, vulnerability, transparency and guidance.

Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25+ Years of Use One-year post taper “success story” – http://survivingantidepressants.org Elbee (male) - August 27, 2020 At the time of this success story post, I have passed the one-year mark (15+ months) living drug-free. I am speaking to you from “the other side” of hell to let you know I made it through the nightmare of psychiatric drug withdrawal -- and so can you. I want to start by saying that everyone’s withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is going to differ – no two paths are the same. While there will be commonalities in what we each experience, there will also be differences. I also believe that none of us are uniquely or irreparably “broken,” and that each of us can find a path to living much fuller, healthier lives in greater freedom. To be clear, I had doubts throughout this process . . . believing that somehow, I was MORE “broken,” and that I wouldn’t find my way out of the darkness. But the natural, innate healing power we each possess is profoundly AWESOME, and it quietly, patiently works in the background in each of our lives. . . even if we can’t see it, and even if we don’t trust it. For me, the psychiatric drug withdrawal / tapering process turned out to be an invitation to learn how to live my life differently. It became clear to me in this journey that I could never go back to some idealized place I vaguely imagined myself clinging to . . . I could only move forward to somewhere I had not yet been. I need to be honest: It is still hard to revisit and write about just how painful this drug withdrawal process was. Now that I’m feeling so much better, a part of me wants to forget the whole ordeal . . . as if looking in a rear-view mirror, driving ever-further away. And the reality is that this rear-view mirror perspective is very much real -- I’m SO grateful not to be suffocating in such intense pain anymore! But it is also true I will carry the scars of this experience with me for the rest of my life. It is clear to me now that some of me died through this drug withdrawal process. It is also true that the most precious parts of me came back to life. And I am still healing. I was very much disabled through the most intensive parts of the drug taper. I was on these psych drugs for panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire adult life, over 25 years. Additionally, I was drinking alcohol abusively, and relying on multiple pots of coffee and a pack of cigarettes to get me through each day. Even before I had decided to get off the meds, I was utterly exhausted most of the time, barely functional, and unconsciously stumbling through life like a zombie. I knew I had to fundamentally change how I was living. The first step in my detox efforts was to quit alcohol in April of 2014, 30 years after taking my first drink as a kid. Thankfully, I was able to release alcohol from my life relatively easily. Whatever boost alcohol had given me previously was gone, and it was clear to me as a 44 year old man that the devastating hangovers I experienced were getting more difficult. Then, over that following summer and under doctor supervision, I “tapered” entirely off both the Lorazepam and Zoloft that I had been taking for 24 years. I experienced tons of anxiety in the process, but I did it, and after the 4-month ordeal, I thought I was in the clear. Unfortunately, about six weeks after taking my last dose of Zoloft, what I now know to be protracted withdrawal hit, and my life spun into a depth of hell that words cannot describe. Instead of re-instating the same drugs I had been taking, the doctors took me on an 8-month “trial-and-error” roller coaster ride of psychiatric drug experimentation. I finally ended up on higher doses of the drugs I had originally quit, plus Remeron added in for good measure. Through all of this, I landed in a very bad place – exhausted, functionally disabled, unable to work, and unsure what to do next. I had some savings in the bank I could live on for a few years, so I decided to “hole up” to do a new taper, following the much slower tapering protocol of the SurvivingAntidepressants.org website. But my savings were limited, so I used the 10% reduction protocol as a baseline, and pushed the taper as fast as I could without killing myself in the process. I’m not sure I would suggest this approach to anyone else, but in my situation, that’s what I did. Note: I’m going to refrain from listing out all the symptomatic horrors I experienced (there were many) as I write this success story. Here is the link, if you’re interested, to my introductory thread which details my four-year psychiatric drug withdrawal process: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11862-%E2%98%BC-elbee-25-years-of-meds/ And I want to take a moment here to say how incredibly grateful I am to @Altostrata, @Shep @brassmonkey, @bubble, @apace41, @Gridley, @Rhiannon (her writings), @JanCarol, @KarenB, @ChessieCat, @Petunia, @scallywag and all the folks at SurvivingAntidepressants.org who helped save my life. I also came across Robert Whitaker’s book, Anatomy of an Epidemic around the same time I found this site, and from these resources, I knew I had stumbled into truth. It became clear to me that so much of what the mainstream medical establishment had told me about these drugs, and about my so-called “chemical imbalance,” was false -- I had been lied to. SurvivingAntidepressants.org helped me anchor into this truth and set me on a new course. THANK YOU! With these new resources, I came to understand that getting off the drugs wasn’t just a simple matter of refraining from ingesting chemicals, or even about waiting for those chemicals to dissipate out of my body. I learned that my brain had restructured itself around the presence of the drugs all these years and that by removing the drugs, my brain would have to, very slowly, restructure itself again to a healthy state. The metaphor of a plant (my brain) growing on a trellis (the drugs) for support is so profound to me. How can I expect to abruptly rip out the trellis and think that it won’t damage the plant in devastating ways? This metaphor was such a clear illustration to me of how a neuroplastic human brain builds tolerance, and how we can so easily become entangled in the physiological mechanisms of addiction. And to be very clear, our brains develop tolerance to psychiatric drugs just like they do street drugs, and the mechanics of addiction and withdrawal in each are the same. Gaining this knowledge and allowing it to sink in was probably one of the most important early milestones in my healing process. In preparing for writing this success story, I re-read my entire introductory thread. Several pivotal posts stood out to me as other milestones in my healing process, and while this testimonial might go long, I think it could be useful to touch on some of them . . . In my very first post, I am already talking about the value of meditation. Sitting with myself quietly and focusing on my breath helped me slow down my mind and learn to relax. As I continued with the practice, though, I began experiencing periods of discomfort. I had initially taken the psychiatric drugs to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, and as I practiced meditating space was again created for those feelings to arise. Learning to slowly sit with and tolerate whatever thoughts and feelings arose began to nullify my need to run away, and therefore, lesson my urge to drug the discomfort. Meditation became a cornerstone of my self-care practice, and self-care is what I ultimately found to replace the drugs. Next milestone -- about a year later, I wrote an entry about a decision I was struggling with on whether to consult with a renowned psychiatrist. A relative was able to get me an appointment for a psychiatric medication evaluation from a “leader in the field” (at the bargain price of $2,000). Looking back, it was then I decided I no longer believed in the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, nor the system that deals in them. I wrote: Next, in the summer of 2016, still early in my tapering and recovery process, I went on a 111-day, 9,000-mile solo road trip across the U.S. In retrospect, I was probably looking for something “out there” that was missing “in here.” I did a four-day vision fast in the wilderness, hiked a 14,000-foot mountain, roamed Death Valley, did a week-long silent meditation retreat, camped under redwoods, hiked numerous National Parks, etc. Was it really a good idea to take this pilgrimage in such a compromised state? I can’t say for sure, but it’s what I did, and I think it cracked through defenses that needed to open. In the Hoh Forest of Olympic National Park in Washington state, I experienced a release of emotions like I had never felt before. It was in that moment I finally realized that releasing stored emotional blockages could ease my anxiety: Another milestone: Upon returning home to Florida later that fall, I dove more deeply into my involvement with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) 12-Step program. In conjunction with doing EMDR with a skilled, compassionate trauma therapist, ACA helped me crack through layers of protective childhood denial that I had carried into adulthood. Some people advise NOT deliberately digging into the unconscious too much while going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, but my path has been that of heavy digging. I accepted living in a disabled state for a period of time and felt that if I was going to get off these drugs, I needed to address what drove me to take them in the first place. By early summer of 2017, my commitment to this recovery approach had strengthened. Along with addressing the trauma associated with childhood family dysfunction, I opened another door . . . into the shame and terror I experienced hiding as a closeted young gay boy and gay teen. I had initially come out 25 years earlier at age 20 (the same time I started taking the psych drugs), but that was only part of my truth I was hiding. The secrets of my sexual orientation were built upon the secrets of having grown up in family dysfunction: Homophobia turned out to be compounding trauma, and I had been living in a closet within a closet. I had more inner work to do. Perhaps one of my most significant milestones was realizing how important it was for me to take the lead in my healing, and how easily I had deferred to the “expertise of authorities” in my life. By June of 2017, I had navigated my way off the benzos completely, and I recognized the importance of building an internal sense of trust – connecting with my more authentic self to discover a new inner compass. Despite appearing outwardly confident most of my life, inner trust was something I lacked. By allowing myself to fully feel, I had opened to recognizing my own authentic needs, to directly and respectfully communicating my needs, and to setting healthy limits and boundaries. By learning these important skills that I had missed earlier in life, I discovered greater internal trust with myself, and greater discernment in trusting others. By January of 2018, I had another important insight: I more fully recognized I was going through an internal chemical withdrawal process in addition to detoxing from the drugs I was ingesting. Behavioral (or process) compulsions and addictions all have physiological and neurological correlates, and I had been heavily “dosing” throughout my life using my own “internal drug store.” This realization profoundly shifted my perspective on my psychiatric drug withdrawal process, seeing it in a more comprehensive context. A lot of my recovery has involved working with an “inner critic” that had been driving me most of my life, born and sustained from a lack of unconditional love. Ironically, this harshness was so pervasive that I had never consciously known it was there. My inner critic constantly pushed me into the extremes of all-nothing thinking. Again, meditative practices more than anything helped me identify this was going on, and ACA reparenting (inner child work) has allowed me to soften it. By the end of 2018, I started discovering something that had evaded me my whole life – moderation, and a general sense of “OK-ness.” By April 2019, I had found a new pace in life to accompany my new inner compass, and I was nearing the full completion of my psychiatric drug taper. I was one-year benzo-free at this point, and at times, I was overwhelmed with heights of new sensations and emotions. I was feeling things I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager because I had been drugged my entire adult life. It was overpowering in many ways, but I was so grateful to be “awakening” to a much more fully human life. On April 28, 2019, I was finally free from Zoloft, and my psychiatric drug taper was complete. I had found a way out of the darkness, and I had survived. I couldn’t remember having ever felt so alive. So, while this isn’t my entire recovery story, I’m fulfilling my promise to report back and share my continuing journey with others. Where do things stand today, 15 months after taking a psychiatric drug for the last time ever? No need to panic. I’m not experiencing depersonalization, derealization (DP/DR), or panic attacks in frightening ways. I do still feel what I might call different states of consciousness, but often there is a positive, expansive quality to these experiences. Perhaps some might call this bliss? I haven’t really found ways to talk about it yet clearly, but I don’t experience panic attacks in the ways I used to. I still have fears of them returning, but less so with time. I also get “eerie” feelings now and again, but I have found ways to work with that when it happens, and it doesn’t usually last long. Scariest weirdness has ceased. Most of the “unexplainable” adverse reactions I experienced don’t happen anymore. I would get terrible flu-like symptoms for days at a time . . . hot flashes and chills, body aches, cramps, twitches, headaches, fogginess and disorientation, exhaustion, etc. Sometimes my heart would start racing for no apparent reason, or I would have trouble breathing. I had chronic digestion issues. I had intense agoraphobia, even paranoia at times. I had problems making the simplest decisions. All of this, for the most part, has subsided. Consistent rest. My sleep has changed dramatically, and I’m so grateful. I have struggled with sleep my entire life . . . unable to fall asleep at night and feeling anxious and “hungover” with crippling anxiety each morning. For as long as I can remember, I wanted nothing more than to sleep “normally” from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and wake-up feeling well-rested. Today, more times than not, my sleep resembles very much what I used to wish for. I wrote an entry summarizing what I’ve done to address my sleep issues here. Keep gently working with triggers. I still have intense anxiety at times and find myself in hypervigilant states. I’ve come to understand this as a trauma response, and I can usually identify what has triggered me and/or how my inner critic has become activated. I’ve developed self-care routines that help to reduce these reactions, and that help me come out of this state much more quickly and easily. Some old wounds have healed permanently – some things that used to trigger me no longer do. AND I want to emphasize there are days now, thankfully, I live virtually anxiety-free. Self-care (reparenting) is my new drug. I had SO much resistance to doing self-care my whole life (for many reasons I won’t get into here). And by self-care, I don’t mean treating myself to a spa day (though that probably doesn’t hurt). I mean the day-in and day-out routines of physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually tending to myself like I’m the most precious being in the world. Self-care is what got me to where I am today, and it will be the practice of my lifetime. Don’t overdo it. As my life continues to get fuller, I can easily start “checking-out” again. If I stay dissociated for too long, I will pay for it. If I overcommit while on autopilot, I will have adverse reactions when I reconnect with myself. If I try to shortcut too much on the self-care, I will most definitely feel it, and I will struggle. Moving forward, I have to be very careful not to take on too much too quickly, and simply take next best steps. The worst is over. I’ve come to accept that I will never know how much of the excruciating symptoms I experienced these past years were due directly to the psychiatric drug withdrawal, versus how much was due to all the “inner work” I was doing. What I can say is that the symptoms from folks going through psychiatric drug withdrawal and folks doing inner transformative (trauma) work tend to be very much the same. It’s uncanny really, and I can’t explain it. But these two processes seem to very much mirror each other. What I can say is that while there will still be “windows and waves” as my brain keeps healing, and while I still have more “inner work” to do, I’m confident the heaviest lifting for me is done now. Perhaps most indicative of the healing I’ve experienced, I’m feeling well enough now that I’m back in school earning a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) – I’m going to become a therapist. While I’m a bit uneasy stepping towards healthcare systems that betrayed me so deeply, I also feel this is how I can be of most benefit. I’ve come to fully believe that my wounds are intrinsically linked to my gifts, and as I continue to heal my wounds, my gifts will become increasingly available. I’ve been doing volunteer work for some time now, which has helped me to “move back out into the world,” and I hope to transition into paid work soon. I’ve been meeting with people in support capacities, and I envision “coaching” people at some point until I more formally earn my credentials. I plan to be very open about my history with psychiatric drugs, as well as my recovery process. I journaled extensively all throughout my recovery process, and perhaps I will share the “long version” of my story in the future (yes, this is the short version). For now, writing this success story is an important next step in my “coming out.” Thank you for witnessing my healing. Elbee-Success-Story_Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25 years on them.pdf

Hi all, I have been on Zoloft for nearly 7 years before coming off of it a couple of months ago. I wasn't feeling good but it was manageable until recently when I had experienced something on the verge of a panic attack, but never quite close to it that lasted more than 12 hours before subsiding and have not been the same since then. Have been feeling especially worse in the mornings and dread having to go to sleep in fear of what is to come and have started getting interrupted sleep along with very frequent urination and overwhelming fatigue. Anything is now too stimulating and I am worried it may be related to some other condition but after researching it it seems like this may be PAWS. Going to talk with my psychiatrist about it and how to deal with it and although the pain was unbearable two weeks ago, things have begun to "stabilize" so to speak in that I am not nearly completely bed bound and can do some activities without crashing. However, when anxiety and stress is bad, it is very bad, trying to avoid it as much as possible. Feeling hopeful now but when in that state, usually in the morning or when very stressed, things become very dark to the point of considering suicide. This was what really concerned me. Have heard of some people reintroducing a small dose back to help stabilize but even now still skeptical of trying it. Just would like to have some level of normalcy back, as I think anyone would here. Thank you.

Hello! A little about me. I was on citalopram 2012-2013 and weaned the ‘GP’ way eg just halved then quartered. It was fairly problem free, aside from brain zaps which went after a fortnight. I was then on Citalopram again 2014-2017 and weaned again fine, just brain zaps (each time for anxiety). Most recently, I’ve been on Sertraline from 2017. I was on 50mg and last September dropped to 25mg. This experience has been wholly different to citalopram. Since dropping to 25mg some 10 months ago, the brain zaps have never left. They make it feel as though my brain is back flipping or levitating, I get vertigo for hours after and it feels like most days are filled with buzzing, shocks and bizarre sensory disturbances (including a strange desire to constantly move my tongue, which sounds bizarre when written down!) Obviously, I react with more anxiety. I tried to drop again, alternating 25mg and 12.5mg in March, but it was a disaster. Sensory disturbances galore. I have a young toddler (2.5) and just can’t afford to be so unsteady and zappy around him. I feel stuck. The brain zaps seem permanent - despite being on this 25mg dose for nearly a year. I panic that the sertraline has permanently damaged my brain and I’m stuck in this hinterland forever. My GP doesn’t get it and I’m stuck with 50mg tablets. I’m aware there’s a wealth of info here to read through, but will need some time when I haven’t a toddler asking me to play with him! Any reassurance would be amazing.

I have been on Sertraline for far too long and it made no difference whether or not I took it regularly. I was prescribed Venlafaxine and the side effects were horrible. I'd only taken it for a few days and have been advised to stop. Right now I'm just really confused and not sure which way is up.

Hello everyone,❤️ I am a 36 year old male. Today I will be sharing my journey through withdrawing my over 20 years use of Effexor xr 150mg. I was first giving Effexor for depression caused by a separation anxiety. This was during my high school years wile I struggled with feelings of social phobia. Effexor seemed to blunt just about any fears and anxiety I had for a number of years but as time went on more and more side effects emerged some very scary. I tollirated most of sides just from the fear of withdrawal. I had previously had failed at least 3 failed attempts and one cold turkey in 2003 for 6 months unaware of what was happening to me both physically and mentally. Doctors were clueless and just represcibed the Effexor after that 6 month ordeal indefinitely. Fast foward 2016 a had gone under a few surgical procedures for a lumbar disc herniation with the last two resulting in a fusion. Around that time 2017 2018 I was having more and more increasing side effects from effexor and felt it was no longer working. I would have exercise intolerance,moments of narcolepsy type episode's, increased nerve pain. Visual snow, poor circulation diagnosed as Reynolds syndrome and more. I decided to seek help in disscontinuing effexor and was given an option to try to reduce from 150mg to 115.5mg immediately regretted as I could not drive my vision was on a rolorcoaster and I was having moments of just needing to pass out. So I went back to 150mg. Fast forward a few weeks my physciatrist introduced zoloft at a low dose and had me try again. At this time I was determined to muscle through. During a six month cross taper to zoloft max 100mg dose. My Final dose 37.5mg of effexor was February 20, 2020 and the withdrawl have been dibilitating waves and windows ever since. Lost job, home and hoping to keep my family around. Things seemed to have gone terribly wrong on July 12, 2020. On June 13, 2020 i dropped the zoloft to 50mg. One month later I was hit with an inability to walk or maintain any strength. I decided that day to updose back to 100mg zoloft. The days that followed were complete hell and multiple ER visits. Parkasins symptoms bobbing head neck weakness studdering speech spastic gait, spine spasticity, calf muscle cramp and faciculationts just a nightmare. One of the last ER visits left me with a diagnosis of post lateral sclerosis to be determined I guess because most my weakness was in my left side. New medications added since July included 5mg Valium twice per day and 2mg tizanadine or Zanaflex 3x a day I reduced two weeks later to only 2 times a day for the sake of staying awake. I have been bedridden since July after that episode. Waves and windows still apparent but very much less because of all the other medications. Psychiatrist is continuing the withdrawal plan keeping the other medication to reduce symptoms. She feels I may have had an adverse reaction or serotonin syndrome. Holding on to hope and my faith you guys are not alone 🙏 ❤ Present Dosing Regimen: Oct 9 [v] 7am 50mg Zoloft 5mg Valium [v] 12pm 5mg Valium (v] 3pm 1mg Zanaflex( mod. note- tizanidine, muscle relaxant) [v] 8pm 2mg Zanaflex Effexor Xr 150mg for 22years, discontinued from 37.5 mg February 2020 Discontinued because of Increasing side effects - Anhedonia. Blurry vision, exercise intolerance, weird adrenal fatigue episodes, increased anxiety, left sided weakness extending to feet, increased nerve pain, weird zoom Out episodes.

Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.